Rating - M. Explicit content!
Please, please and pretty please - review.
If you recognize it, it is not mine.
The following chapter contains references to the episode Out of Sight, Out of Mind.
They stayed intertwined like that for a very long time, just holding each other firmly and feeling each other's chest expand periodically. The camp was silent except a few footsteps once in a while. They shared a few little kisses, none as passionate as before, but due to Hawkeye's vulnerable state, they somehow felt more intimate. As Hawkeye's body tried to deal with his wounds, he started to shiver more and more. Claudia got up, grabbed a blanket and covered him. Then she resumed her post, sitting next to him again.
Colonel Potter came in at some point and offered to relieve Claudia, but she declined, saying she'd rather wait until the ophthalmologist arrived. She wanted to be there for Hawkeye, holding and comforting him when he needed it the most.
Unfortunately, she had to operate on her patient who developed complications, so Hawkeye was left lying in a bed in Post-Op alone in his dark, waiting for the doctor from 121st Evac. It was a good thing she was an experienced doctor, because frequently she found herself going on autopilot during this particular surgery. She took her time checking her work meticulously, worrying that her worrying might have impacted the quality of her work. She was after all digging in someone's brain. But despite her distracted state the operation was a success and the patient's intracranial pressure was coming down.
As Claudia was preparing to close, a corpsman ran into the OR and shouted that Private Igor was suffering from enormous belly pain and that Major Houllihan was suspecting he had appendicitis. After telling a nurse to close for her, Claudia called for new gloves and instructed the corpsman bring Igor in. By then she knew she wouldn't make it to Hawkeye before the ophthalmologist came. Maybe it was for the best. She still wasn't able to forget the image of Hawkeye screaming he could not see anything. She did feel guilty about not being with Hawkeye, even though she knew there wasn't much she could do to help him.
"Hello, Igor, I hear you are in a lot of pain, almost as much as we are after one of your meals…" Claudia addressed her patient, who was just lying on the table, his eyes fluttering. He was pale and had forehead sprayed with sweat. All in all, he did not look good. Claudia had to be quick.
Igor's appendix was bad, but he wasn't in critical state. It was an easy operation, so she went ahead. Since there was no emergency and she already had a whole shift and another operation behind her, she was technically supposed to leave the operation to another doctor. But she always disregarded useless directives. No one got much sleep that night and it was ridiculous to bother someone else because of this.
Frank was the one ordered to cover Hawkeye's shift and did so with enough complaining to annoy everyone. Hawkeye, not knowing what to do with himself and frustrated with Frank's lax approach to medicine, was directing Post-Op as an epic orchestra, checking every taking of vital signs and changing of bandages. After Frank's visit to Colonel Potter's office, Hawkeye was moved to the Swamp so that everyone could get some peace. That was the last thing Claudia heard of Hawkeye's condition before she went to her tent. She put in over twenty hours at that point, and after checking the Post-Op patients, both hers and Hawkeye's, she was dead on her feet. Since she was no use to anybody in that condition, she grudgingly changed into her pajamas.
Claudia's sleep was everything but relaxing. Nightmarish memories kept hunting her, reminding her of the worst times of her life. They left her gasping for breath as she looked around in panic. It felt so real, she had forgotten where she was. Feeling her body was drenched in cold sweat, she decided to take a shower. It didn't seem likely she would fall asleep anyway. After taking her medicine and getting her soap and change of clothes, she exited her tent lazily.
It was lucky she didn't take too long because just as she returned to her tent, the arrival of wounded was announced. Claudia quickly dressed up and ran to the Pre-Op, where BJ and Colonel Potter were already standing in surgical gear, ready to operate. Frank came in just as Claudia was fixing her face mask and entering the OR.
The first case Claudia operated on was tricky. The shrapnel was too close to his heart and it was a real worry. She didn't even had the energy to listen to all the chit-chat going around. She barely noticed Hawkeye being led around the OR by Nurse Baker. He stayed around for quite a long time, talking and asking about what cases they got. He must have been going crazy, just sitting in the Swamp, so even in his state he came to OR. Claudia wanted to pull him into her arms and comfort him until he was feeling better. It was increasingly difficult for her to ignore the suffering blind surgeon stumbling around.
In the end it was Colonel Potter who told Hawkeye to get out. He did it politely, but it was true that Hawkeye was incredibly impatient and started to drive everyone nuts. The next one to be sent for a little rest was actually Claudia. She put in the most hours in the past week and there wasn't so many serious wounded this time. As she walked out of Post-Op and headed for her tent, she noticed Hawkeye in his robe slowly walking around the camp. She sprinted towards him and reached him just before he tripped over a tent rope.
Extending her arm in front of his body to stop him from moving, she demanded an explanation. He flinched away a little at first, but then relaxed when he recognized her voice. "What are you doing, Hawkeye? How come you are wandering around here all alone?"
"I want to shower, but everyone is hard at work."
"Well, good thing I bumped into you." She took him by the hand, leading the way. As they reached her tent, she asked him to wait a minute. She swiftly came back, grabbed his hand again and they were on their way to the showers.
After Claudia verified the shower tent was empty, she helped Hawkeye in, making sure that he didn't hit his head on the door frame. Averting her eyes after he stripped, she waited until Hawkeye was safely in the shower stall. She walked around the stalls, put her clothes on the two nails hanging there and got into the other stall. The warm water was very soothing, pouring over her and engulfing her aching body. It felt good, but she wanted to be quick about her shower, so she'd be ready when Hawkeye needed her help.
"How about we took a shower together?" Hawkeye said wittily, giving Claudia a smile. Or at least sending a smile in the approximate direction where she was.
"Oh, come on. You don't want a pity date, do you?" She gazed at him, standing in the next stall. His movement was slow as he tried to keep the bandage around his head dry. His skin shined with droplets of water when he washed the bubbles of soap away. His broad shoulders looked even wider like that and his lips had this cute pink color when wet.
Claudia sighed and got out of the shower. Life was so unfair. Hawkeye had been thrusted into a bloodshed he wanted no part of and now he might have lost his sight because he tried to help someone.
"Who's talking about a date? I was trying to save water. Be responsible, you know? But it's good to know your thinking goes that way…" Hawkeye laughed and turned off the water.
When she saw this, Claudia quickly put on her robe, stuffing her clothes in the pockets. She walked towards the door and grabbed Hawkeye's towel, waiting for the opportunity to hand it to him.
"Claudia?" Hawkeye's voice showed a great deal of hesitation as his hands grabbed the wall of the shower stall.
"You want your towel, sir?" Claudia dangled the towel over his hands, letting it touch Hawkeye's hands. He softly ran his hands over the fabric and took hold of it.
"Thanks." He whispered and started toweling himself dry.
Claudia's eyes rested on Hawkeye for a minute and then with assurance she'll just step outside for a few seconds and be right back, she stepped outside. She was right, it was Radar's voice. She called him over, shivering in the cold Korean air.
"How's the OR business, Radar?"
"The colonel wants you to rest, ma'am. He literally told me not to let you in the OR or he'd put my behind in a sling."
"I didn't ask that."
"It's quite a lot, but nothing serious. One woman in labor, one appendicitis and so on."
"Good. Get Hawkeye's bed into my tent, please. I don't want to leave him alone and if there's so much work, who knows when BJ and the rest will be free." Surprise washed over Radar's face as she talked.
"Yes, ma'am. Right away."
Claudia thanked Radar and knocked on the door to let Hawkeye know she's coming in. She waited for a moment and then entered. Hawkeye was still standing in the stall, his towel around his neck.
"I am here, Hawk. Give me the towel and I'll hand you your clothes."
Claudia snatched his greens from the hook and hanged the towel there. She handed Hawkeye his shorts first, waiting until he got into them and then his t-shirt. Then Hawkeye carefully stepped out of the stall, his hands in front of him, feeling the space ahead. She took hold of his hands and rubbed them gently.
"I'll get you signature robe, yeah?" She guided his hand into the first sleeve, wrapping the robe around him and preparing the other sleeve. When it was done, Hawkeye slipped his hands around her shoulders, pressing himself against her. Claudia was surprised by this, but leaned into the contact and entangled her hands in Hawkeye's damp hair. Laying her head on his shoulder, she turned so she could whisper to his ear.
"You okay?" Her hands slipped down to his back, stroking him tenderly. Feeling him nodding, she pulled away and caressed his cheek. "Let's get out of here." Claudia checked they didn't leave anything behind and they departed.
They walked towards her tent slowly, with their hands interlocked. She was freezing, dressed only in her robe, and Hawkeye noticed her quivering. "Are you cold, honey?" He asked quietly, his voice sounding very sweet.
"We'll be there shortly, I'll be fine."
It was amazingly warm inside Claudia's tent. She led Hawkeye to his bed that Radar managed to drag over there and then sat on hers, snuggling into her blanket. Somehow her exhaustion had gone with the shower and it seemed Hawkeye wasn't in the mood for sleep either.
"You want something to drink?" Claudia asked as she stood up, holding the blanket around her shoulders.
"Don't mind if I do." Hawkeye said with a weak smile and a light nod.
After a little rummage in her footlocker, she found two beers. Hawkeye appreciated this beer last time, so this could do. She put the bottles on her table, opening them both and passed one to Hawkeye. He thanked her quietly and took a gulp. Feeling his cot dip a little as she sat next to him, he reached for her. She quickly switched her beer into her left hand and met his touch. Moving a little closer and leaning against his side, she then closed her eyes, focusing on feeling his body against hers.
"Hawkeye? I heard when you were talking to BJ about your situation. You know, about the sound of rain hitting the roof and Frank slipping on the muddy ground…" Claudia studied Hawkeye's face as he drank the alcohol, but without his eyes it was too difficult to guess how he was feeling.
"Yeah?" His lips pursed a little and then stayed in a thin line.
"I just want you to know you don't have to protect me. You can tell me the truth if you want to talk about it."
"I didn't lie to BJ." He protested, turning towards her and inadvertently shaking her head off his shoulder.
"You didn't tell the whole truth. And I can hear the anxiety in your voice. Hawkeye, it is okay to admit your feelings."
"I-I just… I cannot talk about this even if I wanted to, I don't even want to think about this…It brings tears to my eyes and that really hurts." He admitted hesitantly, his voice growing quieter and quieter as he bowed his head down. Claudia put her beer down on the floor and got even closer to him.
"Oh, Hawkeye, I am sorry. I said if you want to talk about it." She touched his cheek, gently running her fingers over it. "Just know that whatever happens you'll be fine. You're so much more than just a surgeon. Granted, you are amazingly talented at your job, but there's so much more to Benjamin Franklin Pierce than that. Don't sell yourself short. Plus you have so many people who care. We're all here for you. You are not alone."
Claudia caught his chin and turned his head towards her more so she could reach better. She put her hands around his body, feeling his breath quicken, and slowly leaned over to kiss him. She didn't know what got her to initiate the kiss, but somehow it felt like they've been leading up to this moment step by step for a long time. They certainly shared a few hugs and kisses along the road.
Hawkeye responded immediately - and so fiercely it left her moaning into the kiss. This was the first time they kissed properly, without any hesitation or pretending they were just friends. She gripped at him more firmly just as Hawkeye's hug enveloped her whole. She reveled in his warm embrace, her hands possessively running all over his back, not letting him move away one inch.
It was Hawkeye who broke the scorching kiss, trying to catch a breath, but still keeping Claudia as close as possible. He could hear her panting loudly as she did the same. They met for another deep, passionate French kiss that made them both tremble with desire. Hawkeye grew increasingly frustrated with the bottle he was holding, because it prevented him from holding Claudia properly.
"Can you please put it on the table or somewhere, I can't…" She understood before he finished the sentenced and quickly dealt with the beer. Returning to Hawkeye, she stood in front of where he was sitting, holding her breath. He raised his arms to meet her body and get her to sit down into his lap. His moves were little awkward, not as confident as always, but slow and searching. His lips kissed hers, then slid down to her neck and continued along her cleavage. She threw her head back and let out a soft whimper as she felt him against her. She could feel his lips curl in a smile as he traced her neckline with light kisses. His lips were on his way down her body when he encountered the hem of her robe. He pushed it away a little, trying to claim as much of her skin as he could.
But that reminded Claudia how little she was wearing in comparison to him. "Wait, Hawkeye." She ran her hands over his body and caught his lips in a short, but feverish kiss. "Stand up, please." Claudia withdrew from his body and got up, helping him stand up too. She pulled away the blanket lying on Hawkeye's bed and let it piled up at the edge of the bed.
Hawkeye stayed still where he stood up, not really moving. Her eyes watched him closely, but since she did not want him to be uncomfortable, she rushed to him and put her arms on his shoulders. "Oh, there you are." Hawkeye said quietly as Claudia undid the belt of his robe and let it slide off his shoulders. His voice was sadder than before and it worried her.
"Hawk, what is it?" She was so close, he could feel the warm breath on his neck as she spoke. Hawkeye sighed, but Claudia didn't give up. "Tell me, please."
"It's just so different, not being able to see you." His voice broke a little and she could tell he was on the verge of tears even without seeing his eyes. Her chest tightened at the thought of Hawkeye suffering so much in his current state. It couldn't be permanent, just couldn't.
"Ssssh…" Claudia threw her hands around him and whispered as he was clinging to her tightly. "Hawkeye, I'm here, because I want to be with you. Just relax." She nibbled on his neck and slipped her hands underneath his shirt, caressing his chest. Noticing the tension in his body, she moved to kiss his sweet lips, sucking on them lightly at times and exploring his mouth. Finally she heard Hawkeye moan with pleasure as well as he hungrily kissed her back.
She gently pushed him to sit down on the bed and added another passionate kiss. "I know how to cheer you up." Her seductive laugh cheered him a little already, but coupled with the words it took his breath away. He attentively listened to the sound she was making, but was too excited to think properly. He recognized the locking of the door and some fabric being moved, but his brain couldn't connect it with the precise picture of what was happening. But she wanted privacy, which was a good sign.
At last, he felt the bed dip as she lied down. He instinctively moved to touch her, but stopped himself quickly afterwards. Claudia seized his hands and laid them on her cheeks, holding them in place. He felt her face quiver as she spoke softly. "You might not be able to see, but you can feel me." She then grabbed a handful of his t-shirt and pulled him slightly on top of her. A jolt of excitement ran through his body as he realized she was topless. His hands slid down to her shoulders and then moved to her chest. She closed her eyes and just gave into the sensation of his gentle touch, silently gasping for breath. He found her lips with his and kissed her more ardently than before, pressing her into the mattress.
Hawkeye for some reason was no able to relax. He wanted to ask if Claudia was alright, if they should be doing this or anything. It was impossible to follow his routine without seeing the visual cues. Not to mention he wanted to make it special for Claudia. Without putting much thought into it, he put his hands on her hips, but didn't come into contact with any fabric there either. His heart raced so fast. She lied completely naked in front of him!
He did not want her to think he was rushing, so he slowly ran his hands along the outer part of her legs and then resumed kissing her and holding her by shoulders. But his body was going crazy, knowing Claudia was lying there and he could touch her naked body, running his fingers slowly everywhere, exploring every inch. He longed to be blessed with the sight of her lying there, all welcoming and eager.
"Hawkeye?" Her voice was shaky as she broke the kiss as well as the silence. "I'm a little cold, get into the bed with me."
He nodded, incapable of putting together a coherent sentence at a time like this. He took off his boots and let them drop loudly on the ground. He then dealt with his t-shirt, throwing it across the room, not caring when it ended up. He drew in a sharp breath as he covered her body with his. She put her hands around his neck and held him close as he remained absolutely still for a moment, trying to calm himself down. He didn't want this to be over too soon.
They launched themselves into full body contact, furiously pressing their bodies together and grabbing at each other. Hawkeye licked Claudia's bottom lip, trying to get her to open her mouth, which she did almost instantly. His kiss silenced those tantalizing moans that drove him insane, but made her wrap her legs around him. It brought their bodies even closer together and the heat of the moment increased.
"Aaah… Claudia…" He cried out when she began to thrust her body upwards into his. Waves of pleasure were spreading through his body, wild pulsating need from the very core of his being was overwhelming him. He simply needed her. Just her and no one else. He felt addicted to the way she tasted and smelled - that was forever imprinted on his brain. He'd recognized her body even without his eyes working. He hoped she felt the divine euphoria too.
She shifted a little and threw a blanket over their intertwined bodies. It awoke him from his deliberation. Trying to stop himself from finishing too fast, he forgot to pay enough attention to her.
"You okay, Hawkeye?" Her breath came in little short puffs, making the words almost inaudible. "We don't have to rush."
So that's what she thought. After all she knew all about his escapades with Nurse Able. "Yeah…" He said, taking a few deep breaths. "Actually, I have the opposite problem. I'm trying to calm myself down a bit."
"Oh, really?" Her hand slid down his body and grabbed him through his shorts. She was rewarded by a loud gasp on his part. "You don't have to hold back. I want you to explore my whole body, caress it until you see it in your mind."
"I think I already do." He ran his hands affectionately around her curves, taking his time and listening to those adorable whimpers she was making. Claudia gripped his head roughly and brought his lips to hers. She proceeded to kiss him forcefully while her hands slid down to his backside, pressing his body to hers. He experienced a surge of unbelievable ecstasy, moaning into the deep kiss. "Oh God! Claudia!"
Keeping her hands firmly on his body, she turned her head a little to escape his delicate lips for a moment. "Get your shorts off, mister." She planted a gentle kiss on his cheek and waited for his reaction. He pulled away from her, wanting to get rid of the last fabric that separated their bodies.
Claudia watched him throw his shorts on the floor and then cautiously sit next to her, his hands searching. He found her elbow first and followed the arm to her neck and then slowly began caressing her cheek. She watched him closely as he lightly stroke her face, wishing he would join her in the bed. For some reason he seemed to completely halt his seduction efforts. She pushed his hands away tenderly and sat up, which caused his hands to drop into his lap.
"Hawkeye… Come here." She brushed away a stray lock of his jet-black hair from his face and tucked it behind his ear. She moved closer and leaned against his naked form, fondling his hair lovingly. He turned to face her, so to speak, and was met with a demanding kiss that would have brought him to his knees had he not been sitting. Feeling her hands encircle his shaking body and then very gently pull him on top of her was just the assurance he craved. He found his enthusiasm again and climbed into the bed.
The thrill was back and stronger than ever. They were groping at each other's body, the urgency of their lust blatantly obvious and the rest of the world ceased to matter. As they moved in sync, their bodies brushing against each other and colliding in movements of carnal expectations. She spread her legs wide and let one of his slip in between. Their racing hearts started beating even faster.
Amid all the kissing, squeezing and caressing, she heard Hawkeye whisper. "Ehm… I don't have a condom." She kissed his jawline, then ran her tongue along his neck and when her lips were next to his ear, she answered quietly that they didn't need one. After all, there were certainly no children in her future.
Their lips were united again and she hoped their bodies would shortly be too. His hands were tracing the inside of her thighs, just barely touching her, but sweetly teasing her imagination. "Hey, did you just check my femoral pulse?" She grabbed his hands, which forced him to fall on top of her rather harshly, but neither of them minded. In fact in sent shivers up and down their bodies. She wrapped her legs around his lean body, almost joining their bodies. "You like playing doctor?" She could tell he was feeling her pulse to figure out how excited she was, but she avoided commenting on it directly so she wouldn't remind him of the reason why. So instead, she whispered something else. "I want you. NOW!" He was more than happy to oblige.
They brought their bodies together with amazing passion and fervor, the outside world completely forgotten in that moment. The explosion of excitement made them both pant loudly as they devoured each other's body. Hawkeye's muscular body was savagely thrusting in and out as Claudia was meeting his frenzied movement.
Hawkeye couldn't help but start whispering her name again and again like some sort of mantra. Maybe it was because Claudia rejected him so many times. He had been longing to hold her in his arms and feel her body for so long, it felt truly heavenly when it finally happened.
After saying a few encouraging phrases, she found his lips and rammed hers against them, silencing his cries a little. The coupling was quick and fiery, releasing the tension accumulated in their bodies. Very soon both of their bodies were spasming violently, moving closer and closer to the edge. "Oh, Hawkeye!" She was the first to reach the ecstatic heights and as he joined, he gripped her waist roughly, unable to speak or think.
They stayed joined for a long time afterwards, lying on their sides and trying to catch a breath. Claudia kept playing with his hair, stroking it as Hawkeye purred with satisfaction. Both completely spent they rested in each other's arms, relishing in the post-coital bliss.
Sorry to keep you waiting, but I didn't want this chapter to come across as cheap and also it's the longest one yet.
The next chapter might have M rating as well. Will specify at the beginning.
Stay safe, look after yourselves.
