A.N.: this one is a bit short, but it's a necessary stepping stone into Kagome's time in Asgard. I'd also like to take the opportunity to thank everyone for their interest in this story! I'm so excited to keep sharing and hearing from all of you!
By the time her head hit her pillows, her heart had reached its limit. The day had been full of wonderful distraction and glimpses of hope and belonging that she'd been craving for so very long.
But the dying of the day doesn't just make furniture shadows grow taller.
Kagome felt all the dark, shadowed places in her heart start to swell in a way a heart never should swell, and sadness burned her throat.
She was so far away from her family, her friends.
The sheer distance between them loomed dark and deep, taunting and threatening. She had crossed it and survived, but it whispered to her that she'd still be swallowed by it, that she'd never escape.
The shining faces and warm embraces she'd received upon her arrival paraded across her memory but they did little to quench the sting of tears.
It must be time to mourn.
Never one to hide from truth for long, Kagome allowed herself to fall apart, thankful she'd been able to hold it together long enough to send Dalla to her own bed. She did not feel like sharing her sorrow, not yet.
If felt like all she had left of her previous life, her previous family, was this heartbreak that was for them. She would keep it close and sacred until more distance and time made it smaller and more manageable.
Truly, she hadn't really had the time to have an honest cry about any of this, for as soon as Naraku's corpse had hit the ground the jewel had sucked her up and simply informed her of her new status as it's eternal guardian.
It had never been meant to leave her body at all. And now it never would, as it broke apart again and dissolved into her blood, her bones, her skin, ripping away her mortality and fusing with her soul.
She'd been given no say, no time for questions or comments. No chance for goodbyes.
No offer of a wish at all.
'Poor Inuyasha.'
Her heart throbbed again at the thought of her puppy eared love.
She was supposed to request Kikyo's return to life.
It had not even been inuyasha's idea. She'd broached the subject with him the night after her humiliating confession. Naraku was just over the horizon and she wanted to face him with no regrets. So, when everyone had found their beds for the night, she'd pulled Inuyasha away to bare her heart and request his in return. Unfortunately, he still didn't have his to give her. As remorseful as he'd been, kagome would accept no pity. This had been her choice, after all. And now no matter what happened, she'd have no questions left unanswered. There would be no 'what ifs' to plague her in life or death.
The following night she'd made him her offer: she would wish for Kikyo's return.
The way his eyes had lit up would stay with her forever, both a beautiful memory of her first love and a stinging reminder of her first rejection.
She would cherish it all the same, as the jewel had had its own plan and her wish had been ignored and disregarded altogether. Her wishes didn't matter at all.
They never had.
Her fate was not her own, it was the Shikon Jewel's.
Midoroko showed up, floating out of the nothingness of the inside of the jewel and offering her assistance, leading her to the gods who had promptly shunned her, tired of the jewel and all of its trouble.
They'd sent her off with a parting gift: find someone powerful enough to protect her, or find herself twisted and used by evils far greater than Naraku.
That had ultimately led her here. She couldn't say she was regretful of that, this place was far more than she'd ever thought she'd end up with. And instead of being shoved away into a dusty corner to be forgotten about as a bother, she'd been welcomed into a family.
A family.
One that, after she'd had proper time to actually mourn the loss of her other one, she'd no doubt sink into and love as if she'd been born to them all in the first place.
She would apparently be here for a long time, anyway. The bonds she would forge here would probably rival anything she felt with anyone currently, after so much time together.
But she was not ready for that yet, not ready to let current heart connections slip so far behind her.
She pulled the sheets up and over her head, completely encasing herself in pitch black darkness.
She let recollections of firelight in dark caves flicker behind her eyelids, memories of voices and laughter tickle her ears.
She was alone, but her thoughts followed her into sleep and gave her the first good, healing dream she'd had since the jewel had shattered her world.
She was surrounded by love in a mountain cave keeping them dry as rain fell in thick sheets outside. A fire crackled happily in the center, sticks with hunted rabbit and marshmallows all roasting around the perimeter.
Music played; merry, chirpy tunes filling all the empty space.
Sango dodged Miroku's 'cursed' hand while polishing Hiraikotsu. Shippo drew pictures of a posing Kirara. Inuyasha showed Souta all the new forms of Tessaiga. Grandfather slapped ofuda up and down the cave walls. Her mother fussed over friends and food.
She was back were her heart had last felt whole, with the people who still filled her soul.
And she was allowed to say goodbye.
The morning dawned much too quickly, and Kagome woke with both closure and despair weighing equally on her shoulders.
