I don't own fire emblem.
Summary: The end of chapter 3 brings us to the titular maid cafe and of course, a broken promise and of course, lots and lot of double crossing.
Log 50: Into the Storm
In all of her time as a mercenary/professor, Byleth hadn't expected to find herself at a protest. Sure, it was possible that a group of protestors had approached them to do a job, but Jeralt had declined. Or something along those lines. A lot of the pair's missions started to blend together.
Sitting in the front of Mercedes's minivan, there was a different feeling to this. Maybe it was all the people who they crammed into the vehicle. It was likely that the minivan wasn't designed for this many people.
"How's everyone doing?" the professor called out, getting a mix of groans and sighs from the back. "Yes, I'm aware this is far from an ideal seating arrangement. Unless one of you wants to get an actual driver's license, be my guest."
Almost on cue, Hubert pulled his driver's license out and got a look from Ferdinand.
"She said a real driver license." the cavalier remarked, finding himself on the receiving end of chuckling from his boyfriend. So carefully, he leaned forward and took a closer look.
A totally real driver's license
Really? Honesty is great and all, but that just takes the cake. Especially in how stupid that actually looks should someone from this church catches you. Oh well, never mind. That's probably the least of your worries. Even if that really shouldn't be the case.
But our attention shifts away from those two and over to Caspar of all people
"How are you feeling, Countess?" the brawler remarked, gaze turning to Bernadetta for the moment. Wedged between both Edelgard and all the maids that could fit in here, the archer looked pretty comfortable. Not entirely sure why none of the maids couldn't drive. Oh right. They ran over a bunch of spikes in a rickshaw. These are not the brightest bulbs in the box.
"Alright." Bernadetta whispered, reaching over to grab hold of Edelgard's hand. While the past couple of nights hadn't been so bad, she was nowhere in the clear. The house leader grabbed hold, giving some gentle pressure.
"That's good to hear." Caspar answered and gave Linhardt a slight tap. The scholar didn't react, choosing instead to just nap. So Caspar let his focus shift to Byleth. "Teach, do you think you can turn the radio on?"
Byleth looked over to Mercedes. Currently, our dom had her eyes on the road, both hands on the wheel. Knowing her, it's probably either death metal or church gos-
Before I can finish writing that, my wife gave me a tap. Yes, Mozu? Right, you think it will be something like news or country. Though, don't you always have it set it some j-pop or is it k-pop? One of the two. Not that this is bad or anything, I always saw you as more of a country person. That's all.
"Go ahead." she answered, Byleth carefully grabbing the volume knob and twisted it to the right. Smooth jazz echoed out from the speakers, a far cry from what either of us could have even guessed. Not that there was anything being offered up current-
"This is CPR - Church Public Radio." the voice on the radio announced, getting groans and sighing in return. Good to see these fuckers are here as well. For some fucking reason, Azama made it his mission to put a similar radio station whenever everyone had gathered. It was called Nohr Public Radio, or NPR. In between music, they had these stupid three hour loops they would play. Could it kill you to have an extra hour? Please? It's the least you can do when you're not spewing pro-Garon propaganda. That was the second worst part. I get that this is a 'public' platform, but still. Crud. I got on quite a tangent, didn't I? Sorry about that. "Today, it was officially announced that the Varley Territory is going to split from the Adrestian Empire to create their own separate nation - Varleyland."
Bernadetta did a double take. Of course her father would go with that option. Though that did mean that he and whatever troops he can get to unite under his twisted flag. But that's a problem for when we get back.
"Varleyland is a pompous name for a just as pompous man." Linhardt chimed, somehow awake enough to hear that.
"What would you've gone with?" Catherine remarked as Mercedes honked her horn. Oh dear. Guess there's traffic on the highway for once. Or whatever route our heroes have chosen for travel.
"Screw you Land." Linhardt announced and I want to slap him. That wasn't even that good. At least spin a pun of some kind to boot. But oh well. 'Screw you Land' it is.
The rest of the drive was relatively uneventful and quiet. Well, outside of passing by Anna's pickup truck. Looks just as crazy as last time. Hopefully that isn't a sign of trouble to come. So much for this being a peaceful rally. Okay, I probably shouldn't say that. The odds may not be in favor of a lack of violence, but I don't think anyone will tell them that.
"Is it supposed to be so foggy?" Petra remarked, a sheet of gray cutting right into the visibility of just about everything currently. I'm no Fodlan weathercaster but that doesn't look too natural. Especially with it starting right in front of the building that I can only assume to be where we'll be having our maid cafe. Looks quite quaint and hopefully on the route of the protest. Wait. This isn't a parade or even a festival. Why do we even need a maid cafe in the first place? Judging by the way my beloved wife is currently looking at me, that should've been obvious from the get-go. In my defense, A whole bunch of stuff happened and those sorts of details got lost in the cracks.
Still got me a playful hit. I definitely deserve that.
"So what's the food plan?" one of the maids in the very back chimed in, silence falling over the car. A shame we don't have any news to listen too. Though, I probably go off on another rant.
"Uh… imaginary food?" Byleth croaked out, just now coming to the same conclusion that I just had mere moments before. "Nobles would totally eat that… right?"
Crickets. Not entirely sure where said bugs are coming from, but it fits the tone to the T. Though here in Nohr and parts of Hoshido when that whole mess happened, it was usually some guy in the bushes. Like seriously, this is a warzone. Why the hell are you making sounds? We could have seriously killed you! But I digress.
Coming to a stop, our heroes take the time to unbuckle and file out one by one. Even outside of the car, the fog looked ready to eat them up in one bite. Right at the edge of it all, we find Anna's truck. Wonderful.
"Is this what one would call… 'quaint'?" Petra remarked, finding Mercedes of all people patting her. Yeah, Maybe it's better to keep her in the dark. But that's the least of their worries. Especially as Byleth turned her attention to Hubert and Ferdinand. She was about to say something, but they were already off for the back of the minivan. A majority of the Black Eagles were right behind, leaving just Dorothea and Catherine of all people.
"Want to look at the pla-" Byleth croaked out, getting nods from the pair. Followed by Sothis climbing her way up onto Catherine. "Sothis?"
Sothis didn't respond, choosing instead to space out. Her eyes close for the briefest of moments. Images flash through her head - death and destruction, love and lust. You know, typical flashback stuff. It seems… peaceful. But between all of that, there's other things. War, large explosions and of course, murder. Lots and lots of murder.
"Hey." Catherine remarked, giving the person on her a slight shake. Sothis's eyes slowly slid open, reality returning to her. Breaking free from her ride, she floated for a couple seconds above the retainer, only to come back down to solid earth. Been quite a while since this happened.
"Sorry." Sothis remarked, already back in her 3DS. Oh well. Which wasn't enough to stop her following our trio into their 'cafe'. Inside, the place was just as barren as the food plan.
"Wonderful." Byleth muttered, taking a deep breath right after. At this point, it's pretty clear that someone wanted a show. "So we're just going to have to everyone stand and eat imaginary food?"
Dorothea chuckled, giving her girlfriend a slight tap. Uh.. Okay. I'm not quite sure what you see that I don't.
"Yes." the opera singer remarked and got a look from both Catherine and Byleth. To be fair, we tend to avoid fancy dining places. It doesn't help that I got banned from a couple of them. What? Sometimes, people don't want to deal with the witch.
Another play hit. I definitely deserved this one more than the last. Especially as our pair of people did a quick sweep around the inside. While there was at least lights and plenty of seating room, that was pretty much all they got. What looked to be a side room meant to be a kitchen attached to the dining area. But nothing in the way of actual cooking equipment. Guess you can use that to your advantage. Not that it is really much of one to begin with.
"We can market it as a high-concept eatery with weight loss capabilities." Dorothea explained as the rest of our students and maids made their entrance into the 'cafe'. All dressed in their maid outfits, that's actually a pretty good idea. Not that you're really saving time without "Unless any of you have a better idea."
Silence. Sure, there was a bit of a delay from just taking in the place and it actually dawning on them that they had been played by Rhea. Becoming quite a pattern. Hopefully this is just a fluke and not a perfect storm of bad ideas that culminated in this mess. Yet their attention all shifted to Byleth.
"For the moment, I'm going to need you to 'set' this place up in preparation of the protest." the professor explained, gaze right on Dorothea. Getting a nod, the opera singer cleared her throat and walked up beside her girlfriend.
"Like I said before, we're going to be serving imaginary food with standing room." Dorothea explained, getting a look from Caspar of all people. To be fair, this idea just sounds absolutely silly.
"Why would anyone actually buy imaginary food?" the brawler inquired and got a nod from Ferdinand in agreement. Did get Petra looking to him as well.
"Does imaginary food taste the same as real food?" she added, silence falling over the space once more. I feel like the answer to that should be pretty obvious. But you know, no stupid question or something. That's how it goes, right? Good.
"Uh… sure." Byleth answered, Hunert handing off the additional maid outfits. "Thank you."
Hubert nodded, taking the time to return to Ferdinand's side. But not before giving a proper curtsey. Getting one in return, the dark mage turned back around to face the professor.
"You're dismissed."
With that, our trio headed to the back. While they practiced this before, there was a different energy to it. Like something was waiting for them to react and was beginning to grow impatient with them.
"Bylerh, could I ask you something?" Catherine remarked, the professor's gaze already on her. Taking a deep breath, she took a moment to gather her thoughts. "After this mission, I was thinking of enrolling back in Gareg Mach…"
Byleth gaze slipped back an inch, forcing her to refocus on the retainer. She had clearly heard what she thought Catherine had just said.
"Let me guess. You want me to take you on as a student?" Byleth answered, getting a nod in return. Even if that did get her a look from Dorothea in return. "I would be willing to do that."
Catherine stared at her future teacher for the moment. She had heard the words, but to get an answer so fast? Maybe today would work out after all.
Now dressed, the trio made their exit. While everyone was currently waiting about, customers were already piling up at the front door. That's odd. Even with no advertising, that seems quite fishy.
"Be on your guard." Hubert announced, everyone getting their weapon at the ready. As they did that, the fog grew even thicker. Definitely can't be good.
The door opened up, stones and arrows getting flinged forward. So much for this being 'peaceful'. Though, considering what the plan was at the beginning, I'm not surprised.
"Wait." one of the 'patrons' announced, gaze right on Catherine. Sword pulled back, they charge right for the retainer. Thunderbrand met his weapon, The result was quite clear - a complete blur of motion and action. Patron after patron approaching, shouts about Thunderstrike Cassandra echoing about. Sure, there was the occasional barbarian or medic choosing someone else - but those were all quickly dispatched.
"I'm sorry." Bernadetta announced, launching an arrow from her bow and into her target. Clapping from her maids followed, which turned into them knifing a stay thief before he could steal some of the imaginary food on offer. Not sure what they expected to get out of this. Maybe something tangible? Or perhaps they wanted to cause a distraction. Wasn't very effective. But that soon turned to be the least of our worries for the moment.
"Thunderstrike Cassandra, we meet again."
The last of our rowdy patrons falls to the floor. Standing right in front of the door is an older man. Decked out in heavy plate, his white hair and scarred face stood out in the cafe.
"Lord Lonato." Catherine mumbled, Thunderbrand shaking about. She was already at her limit, her blade couldn't last any longer. So she stood there, Shamir's promise echoing about her head. She had fucked up. Now, the consequences of her actions were finally coming to a head. "If this is about Christophe, I'm sorry. If I had known what would happen, I would have rall-"
Lord Lonato didn't answer, choosing instead to pull his spear back. The thrust that followed looks deadly, at least till the barrage of weapons, stones and arrows came his way. The spear fell to the ground, the wielder doing the same mere moments later.
"You fools." Lord Lonato mumbled, gaze shifting to Edelgard of all people. "You've made her even more powerful, little emperor. I hope you're able to come out ahead."
With that, the last breath exited his mouth and the lord's eyes slid shut. Byleth made her way over, doing a quick search of Lonato's pockets. Eventually, what looked to be a note came out.
To the esteemed Lord Lonato,
Thank you for your support. With your help, it will be absolutely simple to take Gareg Mach from under those fuckers noses. Even if you do fail, you have taken the first step towards a new world.
I'm aware this is quite a big ask. But for you and the Western Church to be so receptive to my proposal, that's absolutely wonderful. Bonus points if you capture that daughter of mine and put her in the place she should be.
Count Varley of Varley Land
Taking a deep breath, the professor handed it over to Edelgard. Didn't last too long, mostly because the house leader ate it. But not before Bernadetta got a look at it. Definitely one of those days, isn't it?
Notes:
So yeah. This turned out to be far longer than I originally planned. Though, I do like how this turned out. Especially the part at the end.
As for the whole NPR thing, I just can't stand that station from time spent working and it being on.
.
Next time; Chapter 4. The whole thing.
