~Chapter Seventeen~


You say I need prescribing

A dose of your company

But can you teach me what I wanna learn?

Can you give me what it is I yearn?

You say you'd like a chance

You say you'd like a second glance

~Sia, How to Breathe~


Damon takes me to the park.

He has planned a picnic. He secures us one of the few tables available underneath a pavilion. He lays a red-and-white checked blanket over the counter, places a basket and a vase of fake flowers in the center. I'm impressed. I don't know what I expected, but I'm pleasantly surprised.

"Do you do this for all your dates?"

"I told you—I don't really go on dates."

I do my best to mimic his smug expression. "Aww did you do something special for me."

"It was the only thing I could think of on such short notice. I know you were just dying to go out with me."

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Salvatore."

I take a seat on the bench. Damon pulls out two plates, spoons, forks, and napkins from the picnic basket. He seemed to have packed most of the grocery store into it. Fresh fruit, vegetables, pudding cups, potato chips, and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. He hands me the bag with the sandwich and I notice that he's written my name on it in all uppercase letters—with a sloppily drawn heart around it.

I can't suppress the smile that's spreading across my face. "This is really sweet. You even remembered that I told you I couldn't eat lunch meat."

"You didn't tell me that," he protests, "Google did."

"So you took precious time out of your day to Google something on my behalf?"

"You act like I walked across a bed of nails for you." He shakes his head and smiles deviously. "I was already on the computer looking at porn. So I figured I'd do something generous—that's the kind of man I am: a giver."

My face screws up in disgust. "You just gave me the urge to vomit."

"Hey, my sandwiches aren't that bad."

"If I wanted to know what you did on the internet, I would have asked you."

Damon shrugs casually. "I'm just being an honest communicator. Isn't that what we're supposed to be?"

I shake my head and take a bite of my PBJ. "You're…incorrigible, Damon."

"I know." He takes a strawberry from my plate. "It's one of my many endearing qualities."

I stare at him with narrowed eyes. "You can be cute—sometimes."

He beams in return.

"… So… not that I want to be a buzz-kill, but have you figured out what to do about your living arrangements?"

"Yes and no. It's kind of dependent on whether or not my old man will fork over the money they set aside for my college education."

"Damon, I really don't want you to give up on college. I know you haven't considered it, but you would do great in school. You could really major in anything you want." I'm surprised at how fiercely I am pushing this. I don't want him to miss out on opportunities on my account. If he doesn't intend on letting me down; then I won't let him down either.

And then the asshole laughs. "It won't. Both my parents come from money, Bon Bon. I think they already had two thousand dollars set aside before I was even born. I've started to look at college catalogs and everything. I've even considered going into the military. I just haven't decided yet—but I'm glad to know you are that invested in my future."

"Wow. When did you figure all of this out?"

"I thought about it when we were on the way back from the clinic. When I realized that you wanted something different I decided you weren't going to blow me out of the water. I don't want my child to think I'm a loser—especially because her mother is a genius. The money for an apartment idea was something I came up with last night. Turns out when you have insomnia and a calculator, you can accomplish anything."

I look down at the table in an attempt to hide my giddiness. "You're full of surprises tonight."

"Don't get used to it," he says sarcastically. "This is my good deed for the year."

"Somehow I doubt that."

Damon looks up at the sky pensively. "Eh—you're right. I have one more surprise. But that's it."

"Consider me intrigued."

After we clear everything off the table, Damon grabs my hand and leads me down a winding path. Trees line either side, giving the park a somewhat spooky vibe. The fallen leaves crunch under our feet and when one of us steps on a twig I jump. The only other sound is the chirping of crickets. Usually, I would enjoy the eeriness, but I've been feeling so neurotic that I can't appreciate the need for alertness or the quietness of the night.

We stop in the center of the park. Right where the marble fountain is located. The water is streaming down in a peaceful curtain. I peer over the lip of the basin and see a layer of silver coins on the bottom. I think about all of the children, lovers, and dreamers that have tossed change in the hopes of their greatest wishes coming true. I wonder how many of them actually did.

I turn around when Damon taps me on the shoulder.

"Here," he tosses me a quarter. I catch it, but just barely. "Make a wish and make it a good one."

I close my eyes and clutch the coin to my chest. I consider what to wish for. A perfect life? A healthy baby? Acceptance from our respective fathers? And then it comes to me: I should wish for happiness. Over the past few months I've started to accept that perfection—at least in the way I viewed it—is unachievable. Life has twists and turns and you have to be willing to ride it out. And, well, if the baby wasn't healthy, I don't think I could ever experience happiness—in any form—again. So, I wish for the one emotion that will cover all the bases.

The coin lands in the fountain with a splash.

I reach into my clutch and grab at the pile of loose change on the bottom. I fish out a dime. My fingers close around it and I turn to Damon.

"Here," I hold my fist up, dropping the money into his open palm. "Your turn." I guide his hand closed, placing his fist over his heart.

He chucks it into the fountain immediately.

"You didn't even make a wish," I accuse. "You didn't even think about it!"

Damon shrugs nonchalantly. "I already knew what I wanted."

"What is it?"

"That's for me to know and you to find out."