Thank you again for all your patience. Just giving another warning that this is also another pretty dark chapter, but don't worry things will start to lighten up again after this one!

Chapter 19

A Hearts Heavy Burden

Laxus

Everyone was in the waiting room when Gray and I arrived. Apparently they had taken Gildarts straight into surgery, he's been under for hours by now. Seven pairs of tired eyes looked up at me, searching for guidance. I realized then, I was looking at nearly my whole guilds tired eyes, everyone but Natsu, Lucy and Wendy, where here. All of them where exhausted from having either having finished their missions, or having left in the middle of them. Missions that I had assigned, not discounting that I had chosen these missions that lead us to this place. How had I overlooked something? Was there something I didn't know about going on at play?

Eyes looked up every time the doctors and nurses swung in and out of the revolving door. I scanned the room to take stock of my guild, a strange sort of warmth seeped into my heart, mixing with knot of anxiety in my stomach I felt for Gildarts and Natsu's recovery. And Lucy… there was something off about her to, I made a mental note to take her side of the story when we got back. There was something about how we had all come together, leaping into action when one of us needed it. That was the Fairy Tail I was proud to serve.

"Laxus, you're here!" Said Lisanna as she stood up to greet me with a hug. I kissed the side of her head, snaking an arm around her as I took everybody's in the grave expressions. Erza was playing with the lid of a Coke can, her foot bouncing nervously, Jellal put a hand on her lap to quiet it. Gajeel was returning from the vending machine with a Frappuccino for himself and Cana, who downed half of hers in one go, rubbing her drowsy, mascara crusted eyes.

Juvia squealed and leapt up at the sight of Gray, crushing his rib caged while she gushed. "Oh Gray! I'm so relieved, I was so worried about you. When I heard you were going out on a mission again with Lucy I was beside myself! You always get hurt when you're with her, but you're here now with me. I'm so grateful!"

"Hey Juvia." Gray said, barely concealing his repulsion with her. Vaguely I wondered why he was suddenly so melancholy about Juvia. Six months ago I had thought Gray and Juvia where one Facebook post away from becoming official. I know I had caught them, on multiple occasions with Juvia sitting on Grays lap before. I didn't know what had happened between them and I wasn't so sure I wanted to know.

I dragged my gaze across the room, searching for the face I knew would be taking this the hardest. Mirajane was by herself, in the corner of the room. She hadn't even looked up to great us, her eyes all red and puffy from crying, her hands supporting her head while she stared hopeless at the revolving door.

"Hold on Lisanna." I said before I whispered something into her ear. She nodded encouragingly at me, to which I was thankful. Lisanna was always supportive of my role as Guild Master…. Well…. Until she wasn't. But she was never upset when I had to leave her to fulfill my duties. It was largely due to her unwavering support that I found the courage to be a leader in times like these. Although my relationship with her had all but deteriorated my relationship with Natsu, a break I was hopeful would mend soon, I knew that I couldn't have done this job without her.

I worked my way over to Mirajane and took a seat beside her. "How is he?" I asked, bracing myself for the worst. I wasn't sure how I would be able to lead my guild through this grief if the worst should happen.

"Last we heard was they were able to stop the bleeding; they're stitching up his internal organs now." She said, focusing on folding a used Kleenex in her hands. "Doctor says he's not out of the woods yet…" Mirajanes voice became thick with emotion. She looked up at me for support. I could probably count on one hand the amount of times I'd seen Mirajane without make up, this was one of those times. Her cheeks where flushed, her eyes puffy, her lips cracked. She was wearing flannel pajama bottoms tucking into Ugg boots with a Dolce and Gabbana wool coat sloppily hanging from her shoulders. "Laxus… I… I…" She stuttered, moisture welling in her eyes again. "I never told him… I…" She managed before she fell into a fit of renewed sobs.

"Ssshhh. It's okay." I say, wrapping an arm around her shoulders for a side squeeze. "He knows Mira. I'm sure he knows."

Unceremoniously Mirajane blew her nose into her Kleenex. "Really? You think so?" She asked, searching my face for reassurance.

Gildarts saw himself in Mirajane. Like her, he had had a spell in the socialite life style in his youth, dating a string of ballerinas and runway models. He'd even had a bit of fame himself, having been featured attending parties at the Playboy Mansion, or celebrity basketball games. After discovering he'd had a kid, he settled down, conscious he wasn't setting a good example for his daughter. In a way he had become a father figure for all of us, without Gramps around, he was the oldest member in the guild, and we'd all benefit from his tough love lectures now and again.

Though I had no real evidence, I had suspected Gildarts harbored feelings for Mirajane for a while now, with nothing to go on but a hunch. Cana was grown up now and he could choose a woman to settle down with, I suppose I had assumed that he'd been waiting for Mirajane. They'd sort of had this flirtatious banter going on for a while now, and they were sort of each other's type. Mirajane's reaction now however, lead me to believe that things between those two might have been farther along than I thought. All this internal drama sure helped me understand why some guilds only permit arranged marriages. Sabretooth being one.

"Mirajane." I said finally, my voice raspier than I would have liked. "Gildarts is the strongest man I know. If anybody could survive this, he can."

The surgeon pushed through the revolving door, snapping off his bloody gloves. The whole room pivoted, waiting with bated breath. "We've closed him up, the healing nurses have done all they can. Now I have done all I can, the rest is up to him. He's off the gas now, you can all go and see him if you'd like. Just fifteen minutes though, he needs to rest."

We all stood up in unison, all filing inline respectfully after Cana and Mirajane.

Seeing Gildarts like that, tucked neatly into his hospital bed, looking smaller and more venerable than I'd ever seen him, all hooked up to various beeping machines. Gildarts the great, a brave, fearless man with a formidable loyalty for Fairy Tail. The guild to reduced a mountain of a man to this, an I was to blame. I couldn't help but notice the grey that peppered his beard and hair I hadn't notice before, the fine lines by his eyes. It reminded me that Gildarts would have an expiration date, that we all did. A frog had lodged in my throat.

"Dad." Cana said softly as she clasped both of her hands onto one of his, her tears spilling onto the sheets. Her reaction had made the rest of us tear up, as she had never called him that before. He was always Gildarts to her, despite his persistent insistence that she call him Dad. Mirajane was by his head, smoothing his long russet hair back, her own tears falling onto his pillow. The rest of us stood there quietly, at a loss for what to say. Eventually our fifteen minutes where up, with solemn expressions the rest of us filed out of the room, leaving Mirajane and Cana alone with him for the night.

Lucy

"If he wakes up and sees you like this… well… it won't help it any." Said Erza trying to convince me to leave Natsu's room, if only to take a shower and eat something. I was still covered in dirt, sweat, blood and tears. My hair was a tangled mess that wouldn't even be contained by a pony tail and I'm sure I reeked to high heaven. It was the next day, almost the next evening, and Natsu hadn't woken up yet.

"I can't." I replied simply, unwilling to take my eyes off Natsu for a second. I wanted to be there the instant he woke up. Guilt weighed heavy on my bones, enough to swallow me whole. I hadn't been there when he needed me. I had been cowering behind a bar, and what was worse, everything that happened after. I felt guilty, guilty for hiding, guilty for giving up, guilty for letting Gray hold me so intimately when I had lost myself. Guilty for intending to keep the whole thing secret. How could I leave to do something so selfish as shower when I was the reason he was in this state to begin with? I voiced a modified version of this to Erza.

"Don't you dare." Erza reproached, grabbing my chin and forcing me to look at her. "Don't you dare think like that! They both might've been dead if you'd have gotten in the way." I tore my face out of her grasp, unable and unwilling to reveal the whole truth to her. I could feel her intense stare bore into the side of my face as I said, albeit, a little hysterically.

"How do you know!? How do you know I would've gotten in way! They needed me Erza! I could have helped them! I could have…" I paused trying to think of something clever I could have done, lord knows I've been replaying the scenario over and over in my head trying to think of what I could have done differently. I sniffled, and tried to whip the snot off discreetly with back of my arm.

Erza took advantage of my congestion. "You would've only added to the list of things they needed worry about." She said, her words harsh and cold, the upper half of her face covered in shadow due to the dim light of the candelabra in the pitch black room. "And I'm telling you this Lucy as someone who has been saved by Natsu more times than I can count." I could tell it was with effort that she admitted this information to me. "He's a force of nature, the things he's capable of…. trust me when I say Lucy if they were in that much trouble…. There is nothing you could have done. There is more nobility in following direct orders than there is in reckless courage."

I gave her a stiff nod, unable to peel my eyes away from Natsu's face. His skin had a warm, golden glow to it in the fire light, shadows disappearing beneath his jawline, a beard of sparse pink hairs sprouted over his cheeks sporting a week's worth of growth. There was a moment of awkward pause, in which Erza watched me watch Natsu.

"Huh." She huffed behind me. "You know something? You're every bit as stubborn as he is sometimes."

"What'd you mean?" I asked as she pulled up Natsu's desk chair up to his bedside.

"After the Oracion Sies attacked and you where…. Well. You where…. Incapacitated let's say."

"Erza." I interrupted, knowing that I was finally in a position where Erza might tell me. "I know I've asked you this before but, well, I can't get anybody to give me a straight answer. Nobody will tell me what happened that day. I mean Gray told me Natsu …. you know…."

"Turned into a fucking dragon you mean." She finished, leaning forwards to lace her hands over her knees. As if in thought she took a long moment, eventually sighed, staring into the candle's flames. Erza shook her head as if deciding something, then continued. "It happened because you almost died Lucy."

"What!?" I exclaimed in a shout whisper so as not to disturb Natsu. I had known I had been unconscious, but I couldn't remember how I'd gotten there. I hadn't seen a light at the end of the tunnel, my life hadn't flashed before my eyes, all I remembered was black. Nothing. Is that what death is? Unremarkable yet eternal. Gone, without even your own thoughts. Simply the absence of being.

"Brain. He tore a whole right through you. The whole thing happened in a matter of minutes, but it felt like longer with you bleeding out like that. There was so much of your blood, it was everywhere…... I think that's what triggered Natsu, although I'm not sure even he understands why. Almost killed Laxus for trying to help you. It was Gildarts, I think, what brought him back."

"Why wouldn't any of you tell me?" I asked incredulous, I had felt like the whole guild had conspired against me in keeping this secret. I turned towards Erza, my hand grasping her forearm, my eyes pleading for an answer.

Erza shrugged. "Suppose we were trying to protect you. We thought it best that you not feel guilty about what's been happening to Natsu. You see Lucy, you've said it yourself, that you've seen glimpses of what lays beneath the surface."

"I have." I said, nodding intently. "But isn't it better if he learns how to control it? Maybe the theory of trying to contain him isn't the right answer? It's clearly not working, maybe it's time to try a new tactic?"

Erza turned away from me to feast her eyes on Natsu, her hair was swept up into an elegant crimson bun at the nape of her neck, the flickering light from the candles reflecting off of her thin neck and high cheek bones, her voice grave as she said. "We don't know what's on the other side. He may very well be stuck as a monster forever for all we know. But it's also more than that. The world thinks dragons are gone forever and I'm scared for what will happen whenever this gets out. Whatever Natsu is, he's one of a kind. We don't know what his limits are, but I do know this. Whatever battle Natsu is fighting inside…. he's losing."

"I'm not so sure about that." I say quietly, remembering that he hadn't been all scaled up earlier when he could have been. I suspected it was because he was trying not to destroy the building, or show a little consideration. I worried that this event might harvest more of his merciless nature, a bad trait of his that needed a little nurturing. Natsu could have quite a formidable temper, and when he got that way there was no reasoning with him. If he was going to kill, he should at least show some empathy, some remorse for the people's who's lives he's taken, for the lives of the people left behind.

"I'll make a deal with you." Said Erza changing the subject, her mood lightening. "I'll watch over him while you go shower, then I'll have Mirajane bring you something to eat. Deal? I'll holler if anything changes." She said, when I opened my mouth to protest she added. "Do you really want him to wake up to the smell of death breath and B.O.?"

Natsu

A hot itchiness spreading all over my body woke me up, I was scratching my leg before I even opened my eyes. I tried to sit up to scratch at a spot opposite my leg, on my shoulder; but there was a weight preventing me. I opened my eyes to see Lucy, nuzzled into my side, she was on top the covers and I was under them. I sank back into the bed, silently cursing that she was preventing me scratching that side of my body, but at least she was in one piece. She was wearing thread bare sweatpants with a loose fitting T-shirt, her hair smelling like her floral shampoo. I inhaled into her hair, which even I felt like a creep for doing. The sent made me feel like I was standing in the pouring rain, right at the very moment it suddenly stopped. Lucy moaned a little, flopping one of her arms over my chest. Her stirring forced me out of a sleepy haze, and I rubbed at my eyes.

I hadn't known how long I was out for, or how I'd gotten back to the Guild Hall. I tried to remember what had happened and rejuvenation flooded my veins as I regained awareness. I smoothed Lucy's hair back out of her face and kissed her forehead. Immediately her eyes fluttered open, relief evident on her features. "It's time to get up." I say, hastily, pushing the covers off.

"Wh… what?" She says, waking up slowly and rubbing her eye with her palm while she propped herself up on an elbow. "Not so fast!" She said as I sat up and got out of bed. "Hold on!"

I took inventory of my body as I looked down. I was stripped down to my boxer briefs, and parts of my body that couldn't easily be sponged clean, where still dirty. I had five new scars all over the front of my body, indicative of bullet wounds. "Huh, interesting. Wendy get all five out?" I asked Lucy.

"Yes… well… I think so at least. You know you could be a little more… a little more…" She stuttered as she hung her feet over the edge of the bed, loosening her sleepy head pony tail.

"A little more what?" I prodded, a twinkle in my eye. I can admit that perhaps my mood was a little lightened that not only had I survived, but that I had woken up next to Lucy again. I was relieved she was alright; she wasn't even hurt…. And her smell lingering on my sheets flooded my ego.

"Cautious!" Was the word she finally set on, pink flushing her cheeks.

"Aahh, Lucy! Have I caught you worrying about me again?" I teased, walking back over towards her.

"I… well… yes, maybe I have. So what!? It's not like you've been shot before!" She challenged.

"Sheesh, don't be so defensive! Besides, it's kind of cute, but remember, no need to worry." I say, flexing my arms for her to demonstrate how I was the picture masculine health. "I'm a little more durable than your average bloke." I nuggied the top of her head like a little kid. She scowled at me for ruining her hair, batting her hands at my arms. I laughed easily with the knowledge we'd made it out of the roadside bar alive.

Little did she know I had been shot before, although in fairness not five times at once. Suddenly, I remembered a time when I was eighteen, having come back from one of my first official missions. Before Wendy joined, Ol' Makarov used to patch me up. I remember him telling me to bite onto a leather belt while he dug a bullet out from between my ribs with an old pair of tweezers. Hurt like a son of bitch. I was grateful for the Wendy addition, seeing as I could never go to the hospital. She took good care of all of us, plus her methods where a far sight more educated than Makarovs.

"Hey." I said startled, checking around my room and listening for any other noises coming from the Guild Hall. "Where's everybody else?" I asked, my skin prickling as I was realizing a foreboding silence. Silence in Fairy Tail was never good.

I froze as I watched the way Lucy looked down at her lap, something had happened. I racked my brain trying to remember, walking myself through the events of the previous day. "Gildarts…" Said Lucy, quietly into her lap, just as I remember that he had been stabbed a second time through the gut. "He's in the hospital. I don't know specifics because I stayed here with you, but I hear he's awake now at least." I started opening my dresser drawer to find a pair of pants.

"What are you doing?" Asked Lucy, still a little frazzled by how quickly I had gone from being shot to jumping out of bed and riffling through drawers. That reminds me.

"How long was I out for?" I asked, ignoring her question as I pulled a sweatshirt over my head. I wanted to ask her if she'd been with me the whole time, but suddenly felt like the question was too intimate and pulled back.

"Two days." She said sternly, folding her arms over her chest. "Where are you going?" She asked rephrasing her question.

"C'mon get up, let's go." I said. "To the hospital, obviously."

….

After visiting with Gildarts and the others, Lucy and I went back to the Guild Hall for lunch because we were both starving, and she insisted on changing her clothes. I was in the kitchen making a bowl of macaroni and cheese with cut up hot dogs in it, one of the few culinary delicacies I've mastered. I was pulling hot dogs out of their package when Laxus strolled into the kitchen, grabbing an energy drink from the fridge.

"Glad to see you're alright." He said dipping his head in my direction. He looked awful, liked he'd hardly slept.

"You too."

"So…. What happened?" He asked, leaning against the fridge, a sign that he was gearing up for a conversation. "I've been meaning to ask Gildarts, but I can never get a moment alone. Cana and Mirajane have been beside themselves. What's your side of things? I've already got Gray's end, it's going to be a logistical nightmare for us and the FBI if what he says is true. You killed four, Gildarts two, Gray one, more are in intensive care…. I get you did what you had to do but… Jesus Christ Natsu… four!? Fuck man… Probably best I get the full story from you before the feds start poking around." I poured the boiling water through a drainer over the sink. I shrugged, my body count was something I tried to net let bother me. Although I did feel a pang of regret for how I'd had to do it. Burning is a horrible death, it why I preferred to use a sharp sword whenever I can help it. Eyeballs explode out of their sockets, polyester clothing melting to their skin, and in the end they're mummified corpses with nothing left but dental records to identify them with.

"Following Mr. Dillinger was no easy task; he was onto us from the start." I started, then paused to turn off the burner. I had never held much regret over the act of killing itself, because every time I did, there had been other option. When the alternative is death, or compromising someone I loved, it's really no choice at all. Every life cost me a piece of my soul, and by now my soul had more holes in it than Swiss cheese, it was a price I would pay time and again for the members of Fairy Tail. I'm not a religious man, but if there really are pearly gates beyond the veil, I know sure as hell there's no way they'll open for me. No. I'm going to the other place, and there's an odd sort of freedom to life once you've accepted it.

"We lost him in the first ten minutes." I continued. "Had to spend the rest of the day playing catch up. He seemed to constantly be changing locations, stepping onto public buses once he'd step out of a private car kind of thing. We'd almost caught him in a café but he left in an unmarked car before we could catch him." We would have had him earlier in the day, but Gildarts seemed to have to need to stop and piss more times than I deemed usual. "Once we lost him that time we thought it was for good, but the waitress thought she had overheard something about a meeting in the town Lucy and Gray where in. We put two and two together and headed straight there. Got there just in time by the looks of it. Gray's a fucking imbecile." I finished, mumbling a string of curses as I poured a little too much milk into the mixture.

"Gray ended up tailing Dillinger while you two apprehended the mobsters. He may be an idiot but we were able to tip off the FBI enough that the police ended up apprehending Dillinger on the highway based off of Grays description of the vehicle. As a result, we at least got paid half."

"God Damn it!" I cursed as I stirred the pasta vigorously, annoyed that I had to be indebted Gray for something. "Why'd it gotta be him. You know I'll never hear the end of this."

Laxus chuckled, "Probably so man, eh feed him enough beers and he'll forget."

"Feed him too many beers and then he REALLY won't shut up." I countered. Laxus laughed a little harder before falling into a fit of coughs, when he recovered he said.

"You're probably right about that. Also Natsu…" Laxus changed the subject, dragging his words out as if he was about to ask me for a big favor.

"Ugh. What? What is it?" I asked, exasperated, sampling my work off of the wooden spoon.

"It's Juvia and Mirajane's mission." He admitted, and I could tell how exhausted he was because actually yawned. Bags hung under his eyes, which where irritated from sleep deprivation. "They left in the middle of it, and well it was reasonably profitable. Seeing as we only got half of the proceeds from your mission, and none from Lucy and Grays…."

"You want me to go clean up their mess?"

"The LAPD wants names and locations of a gang of teenagers who've been robbing corner stores at gun point for cash, cigarettes and forties. It's not a ton of money, but it's twenty grand."

"And because I've proven myself bullet proof, you'd rather send me." My missions lately had been one round of fuck up or another, so I did feel like I owed the guild some clean up duty at the least.

"That's the long and the short of it."

"Alright fine, just let me get lunch and a shower at least." I say finishing up cutting my hotdogs and dropping them into the pot. Laxus, I had noticed, seemed to like to take a lot of government related jobs for the guild. Didn't much matter to me, but I supposed it made sense. In a city that was going to shit, perhaps he was relying on big brother to steer his moral compass. Plus, it never hurt to have the authorities on your side, and with Laxus's infatuation with military-like management, perhaps this is how he best thought Fairy Tail should weather the storm. In truth, not an altogether terrible idea.

Lucy had chosen that moment to enter the kitchen, the door shut behind her. She stood in front of the door, her mouth gaping as she overheard the tail end of our conversation. "Laxus! Are you nuts!? You can't send him back out there! He's been out for two days and he only just woke up for Christ's sake!" She had brushed her hair and put on skinny jeans with a tight fitting pink top that complimented the angry flush to her face.

For a moment a guilty expression flickered across Laxus's face and he opened his mouth to respond. "It's alright Lucy." I say before Laxus could get his words out. "I don't mind." I mean of course I'd rather spend my afternoon watching horror documentaries with Lucy in my room, but there would always be time for that after.

"He got shot five times Laxus! On a mission YOU sent him out on." She continued ruthless, ignoring me completely. "You're always giving him the most dangerous missions, and now you're sending him as the clean-up crew up for everyone else! It's not fair! Send someone else!" I had tried to interrupt, to defend Laxus, but she dismissed me, storming right past me and up to Laxus, shaking an index finger at him. Her chest rising and falling in a kind of nervous frustration. There was a fierce look in her eyes, that, in time I would become all too familiar with.

Internally I was cringing, I knew all the guilt Laxus carried, a load full of bulky baggage that was dumped onto him by the old man. I didn't envy him that burden; it wasn't so different from the weight I carried. When anyone of us got hurt, it was he who shouldered the blame, who harbored the responsibility. It was a curse that plagued all Guild masters, and I watched it slowly corrode the heart of Makarov, it destroyed him in ways he would never recover from. A large part of me believed it was why he ran away to Florida. Now I was having to watch the same thing happen to Laxus, and I found it tactless the way Lucy was throwing Laxus's own demons at him, she was relentless. "Sending him out while he's recovering is crass and irresponsible. You're asking for catastrophe making Natsu work when he's not 100%. There are plenty of other members capable! Send Jellal, or Gajeel, or hell even send me!"

"That's enough Lucy!" I bark, storming up and tearing her finger away from Laxus's face. It was strange, this sense of allegiance I was sprouting for Laxus. I suppose I'd developed sense of kindship for him after all these years, despite his flawed morals. Hell, I sure as shit knew my own moral compass was just as fucked.

"You're right Lucy." Said Laxus quietly. Lucy looked shocked that she had won so easily, and I looked shocked by how easily he had given in. "I'll go."

"Don't be asinine!" I moan, folding my arms over my chest. "You look about ready to keel over. I've slept for two days, I'm fine. After I eat I'll be ready."

"Fine!" Then Lucy said stubbornly, mimicking my stance, turning her nose up in the air snobbishly. Her arms crushed her boobs together creating a bulge in her shirt fabric. I wondered what kind of bra she was wearing under her clothes that made them stand out that way. "Then I'm coming with you, and that's that!"

Shaking my head from the daze produced by her cleavage I said. "No, absolutely not!" At the exact same time Laxus did. Jinx. Lucy puffed up her chest like she was about to argue but Laxus and I teamed up, steam rolling over the top of her. "Lucy, you're being ridiculous and over reacting. I can handle a few teenagers with two hands tied behind my back." I said casually.

Lucy flinched, a response I hadn't expected. An expression I hadn't witnessed her make before slithered onto her face. Laxus said "Besides, you'll only slow him down. This whole thing will be over faster if we just let Natsu get this business over and done with."

It was as though someone had taken the wind out of her sails and I couldn't figure out why, what had we said? Something had triggered her as she switched from hot and fiery to subdued so fast I had whip lash. I mulled over the past few seconds in my head to try to figure out what the trigger had been, but I came up short.

"Natsu..." Lucy breathed, looking up at me in a wave of concern. Laxus took the way she looked at me as his que to exit.

"I'll be careful Lucy. Promise." I say, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear, warming a hand on her arm.

"You better be!" She warned, serving me a scowl.

Lucy

Knuckles wrapped on my door and I got up to answer it. I had been laying on my bed, texting my dad about Christmas break plans. He had been trying to lore me into spending time with him, using a trip to Hawaii as a bribe. When Mom was around the three of us always used to go for Christmas. It broke my heart to decline. It was Laxus again, he was wearing gym shorts and a tight black t-shirt. "Hey Lucy, can we talk?"

My heart sank and beat faster all at the same time. "Uh, yeah." I say nervously, welcoming him to my vanity stool, the only place to sit in my room other than my bed. I wasn't sure what to expect with Laxus coming to my room like this, rather than summoning me to go to him. The last time he'd done this was when he asked me to join Fairy Tail. Natsu had only just left on his second mission, and I'd be lucky if he was back before the morning. "So, what's this about?" I asked innocently enough.

"About Natsu." He started gravely, looking down at his hands on his lap.

"Yeah." I say, urging him on.

"You're right. I do take advantage of the fact that he can heal better than the rest of us, and there may very well be a day I regret it." He said, pulling his eyes up from his lap to meet mine. "I do it to protect the other members of the guild, and for that Lucy I am sorry. It can be a hard decision to make especially when he always…. and I mean always has bounces back, no matter what's thrown at him. But we don't fully know what he…. What his limits are. That doesn't mean he's invincible, it is a very real possibility that one day he meets his kryptonite so to speak. And when that day comes I'll be sorry. He's my brother after all and the last thing I want to do is put him in danger, but look at Gildarts. If Natsu hadn't been there, he'd have been dead, no question. In a guild like this, it's hard to have an ace up my sleeve and not use it."

"Why are you telling me all this?" I asked, suspicious by the sudden insight Laxus was giving me into his position. Why did he care what I though? What did it matter? He leaned forward over his knees, to look at my face closer, stubble shadowing over his square jaw.

"Because Lucy, I need you to understand why I do it." I took this moment to study Laxus maybe a little closer than I had in the past. I had been expecting a lecture, or at the very least a swift reminder of my own position. What I had not expected was the look in Laxus's eyes, it was a look that sought redemption and empathy.

"I can understand, but that doesn't mean I think it's right." I said. Laxus nodded as a respect to my stance. "Anyways…." I say changing the subject because it only made me worry about Natsu more than I already was. I adjusted the way I folded my legs over the side of the bed before I asked. "Is that all you came for?" I cocked a brow, knowing that there had to be more, he wouldn't have come all the way down to my room just for that.

"As a matter of fact no, I have something I want to ask Lucy, and when I do I would like to make it clear that I'm asking you as Gildmaster, not as your friend. So take some care to tell the whole truth will you?" He looked down on me in a way that me feel small and juvenile. His dark grey eyes boring down on my brown ones with an intensity I avoided, contemplating what tell him. I had a foreboding feeling, I couldn't do that, I couldn't tell him the truth; it was too humiliating.

I did end up telling him every last detail I remembered, right up to the color of his Mr. Dillinger's shirt, and Mr. Miller's fake Rolex watch. I explained how I had realized the two missions where connected while we were trying to play it cool in the banquet hall. I told him what Gray had done to save us, I told him about Mr. Miller's betrayal, I told him about the moment when Natsu and Gildarts busted in. I told him how Natsu had ordered me to hide behind the bar. And then I lied. Unable to say the words aloud, because then it would mean that it was real, what hadn't happened, really almost had. So I told Laxus a story, straight to his face. I said that I was so scared that I had continued to hide for 40 minuets in silence before finally getting up to look for Natsu in Gildarts. I lied even further to tell him that I had assumed the silence meant that they had taken the fight somewhere else, rather than that they were in trouble. It was a horribly, humiliating story to tell, because in reality I jumped up as soon as I heard Natsu and Gildarts yelling. My story made me sound like I was Princess Barbie coward, playing at being in a guild. But it was still better than tell him the truth.

I had expected Laxus to be mad about my supposed cowardice, Erza would have been, and I would have understood. Guilds don't need spoiled rotten little brats who are afraid to show their teeth, but I hadn't been the coward I was making myself up to be. What I actually was, was way worse. I was kind the kind of coward who gave up hope. A sick feeling curled up in my stomach as Laxus, put a kind hand on my shoulder. I stared at his hand on me, unwilling to meet his eyes as I couldn't help the disbelief evident on my face. I knew what he was going to say before he said it.

"It's aright Lucy, I understand."

In his plight to be a compassionate leader, he'd fallen hook, line and sinker for the damsel act. Turns out even Laxus was susceptible to a women's whiles. If I had been a man, I was sure sympathy wouldn't have been Laxus's reaction. A part of me was disappointed, it made me feel like he saw me as Natsu's pet after all, that he hadn't seen any real potential in me this whole time. A guilt for having lied to Laxus also poisoned me, another weight I would have to carry. I was harboring so much of it lately. I wondered if this feeling would ebb over time, or if this was just the new me. Well I was determined to prove Laxus wrong, I did deserve to be in this guild, and I would work hard to earn my place.

Gray

Hours Later

After having beaten Gajeel in yet another round of Call of Duty, I strutted into the guild hall brimming with confidence and looking forward to celebrating the win. Erza, Jellal and Wendy where playing cards at the bar, Lucy was sitting next to them, but instead of playing the game she was stirring ice around in her glass. She looked so melancholy it made me want to punch whoever made her that way, although I suspected the fact that Natsu hadn't returned might've been part of it. That and… everything else that happened to her.

I hadn't had the chance to run into Natsu yet, and when I did, I still hadn't figured out what it was I was going to tell him. I know I promised Lucy I wouldn't say anything, but keeping the whole thing from him just felt wrong, I swear my blood turned to acid just thinking about it.

As I approached the bar, a triumphant grin smeared across my face as I cocked my arm back preparing to slap Lucy on her back in an attempts to cheer her up. Lucy didn't even look up and before my hand made contact, a fierce warning look from Wendy stopped me. I froze and awkwardly dropped arm down. Over the top of her head, where Lucy couldn't see Wendy mouthed, pressing a finger to her lips. "Ssshhhh! She just failed a test."

I nodded to show Wendy I understood, and instead of jubilantly patting Lucy on the back, I sank onto the stoop next to her. "How's it going Luce'?" I say, brushing shoulders with her playfully, as I watch her stir her drink aimlessly.

She hiccupped before she said. "Swimmingly." In a very dry, boorish tone that suggested she'd rather be left alone.

"How many of those have you had?" I frowned, sliding her drink out from under her hand. I then noticed how she was swaying a little on her stool, her eyes glazed over.

She hiccupped again before she said. "Enough." Sinking down in her stool to let her head rest in her arms, which where propped up on the bar. Her hair spilling over the sides of shoulders and getting smooshed up by her arm.

"Awe come on Lucy, it can't be that bad!" I say for posterities sake, but I was probably the only person who knew how bad it truly was. Naturally I was worried about her, when you swept traumatic shit like that under the rug it tended to bite you in the ass later, trust me I would know. Her best option for healing would be to face what happened to her head on, wallowing in a bottle of liquor was only a temporary fix. The nightmares would hit her as hard as her hangover would.

"I failed a final." She mumbled into arms and hair.

"It's only a test. They'll be another one." I say encouragingly.

She shook her head. "No, I've already talked to the Professor. I'm going to have to retake the class. She said she wasn't surprised I failed because of how much class I missed. And the rest of my grades weren't great either."

"You're in a guild full time and going to school, that's a hard thing to do. I'm impressed you managed to pass any classes to be honest, I know I wouldn't be able to haha." I say getting up from my stool and holding out a hand for her to follow. She looked at me with one eye through all her tresses before slapping her palm in mine, her moan of annoyance betraying her reluctance. I pulled her to her feet, dragging her hand with me as I lead her into the kitchen.

I dug some Ore-Ida out of the freezer and dumped them onto a tray before slamming them in the oven. Lucy looked from the oven to me in confusion. "What?" I asked innocently, shrugging my shoulders. "I thought girls love French fries. Thought they might cheer you up a little."

A hint of a smile tugged at her lip as she said. "Gray, you're an idiot." In reality I was trying to help her sober up before Natsu got back. He wasn't an idiot; he would figure out something was wrong. We sat on the counter in the kitchen for a while, eating too hot fries' strait off the tray, and squirting ketchup on them individually, passing the bottle back and forth. Eventually it became late, Natsu wasn't back yet and we both figured it would be indecent for us to stay up together any longer.

"Hey…. Uh Lucy. If you need to talk, you know, about what happened. I'm here, alright?" I had been trying to find a way to bring it up all night, but it never seemed to be the right time, I figured if I was going to bring it up it would be now or never. I needed her to feel like she wasn't alone, that if she couldn't to talk to Natsu about what happened, she could at least talk to me.

"Hey Gray. Do you think this feeling will ever go away?" My jaw clicked, and my muscles stiffened. I supposed as a man I would never fully understand what Lucy must have been feeling just then, but I did my best to empathize.

"Yeah." I said firmly. "It will. I think these things just take time you know." Giving her an encouraging smile. I wanted to tell her how much I admired her, how strong she was. Not very many people could put up will all these pressures she was putting on herself, and yet she could only compare herself to women like Erza or Mirajane, who were in all respects, freaks of nature. But I couldn't settle on a sentence that didn't sound sappy so I just went for. "Come on, let me take you back to your room." Not thinking I held my hand up offering to help her scoot off the counter, my heart racing as she took it easily, like the idea of holding my hand even briefly, was natural to her.

We didn't say anything on our walk over to her room, which was down the south wing of the Guild Hall. We were both looking down at our feet, my Air Force One's keeping pace with her little ankle socks. Although she was tall and strong for a girl, she still had these little characteristics that where…. Well… cute. Like the fact that she had been wearing these little socks around the Guild Hall rather than shoes, a subtle indication that she felt at home here. When we finally reached her door a prickle of nerves made be instantly sweaty, and I suddenly couldn't wait to take my shirt off. I hated clothes, they always made me too hot and I always felt like they got in my way.

"Um… well… Good night." Said Lucy in her own doorway. Embarrassingly I realized we been standing in the hallway awkwardly. My brain scrambled trying to figure out what to say, my hands shoved in my pockets and my traitorous stupid heart banging against its ribcage. I was a grown ass man, a high ranking wizard in one of the most formidable guilds on this side of the country, yet suddenly I felt like a schoolboy taking his crush home after a first date. Fuck me!

"Night… and… I'm here if you need me." I blurt out. She was so tough, she had been through so much and yet she was prepared to hold it all in. To suffer alone and in silence, I just wanted to make sure she knew that she didn't have to. That she wasn't alone in this.

"I know. You said that." She said serving me an awkward smile, that didn't meet her vacant eyes. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. God, couldn't I have come up with something better to say?

"Right… well… I meant it." I say, turning beat red, hoping she wouldn't notice. "G'night Lucy." I turned my heels and paced down the hall, listening for her pause before…

"Gray wait!" She called down the hall, I froze having turned the corner. I pretended not to have heard her, afraid, despite my promise, that I'd only make things worse if I turned around. What if I said or did something I couldn't take back? The clock ticked by for a few more clicks, and lacking a response from me, I heard her door click into place.

Lucy

Two Days Later

I woke up to my alarm and a pounding headache the morning of the tournament. Suppose I shouldn't have had that last glass of wine last night. I groaned as I flipped up the covers and I got out of bed. I wasn't looking forward to this event, I hadn't hardly trained for it, and I wasn't in the mood. I felt like I was setting myself up just to let myself down, but I sure as hell wasn't about to just roll over for Juvia. She'd been nothing but bitchy to me ever since I came here, and I literally had done nothing to deserve it. Honestly I was just waiting for the whole thing to be over. I got up, downed a glass of water and took two Advil.

First I visited the kitchen to have a small cup of coffee and a banana. Luckily everyone else seemed to be preparing for today's event, Natsu included. So I was able to have a moment to myself, trying to mentally reconcile what the day was going to be. My spirits where low, and after taking loss after loss, it becomes harder to pick myself back up. The universe wasn't going to let me catch a break, I was dealt blow after blow and I would just have to learn to roll with the punches.

Next I went to the bathroom, plated my hair into a big single French braid, and applied simple amount of make-up. I mean if I was going to lose, I would at least like to do it with some mascara on. I put on a pair of black spandex shorts and a pink LuLulemon sports bra. I took a moment to stare at myself in the mirror, seeking depth in my own image. What I found where two oversized eyes that looked hollow and rimmed with dark circles. My overall skin looked pale and clammy, my lips faint of color. Usually I was moderately satisfied with the women I saw in the mirror, today I hadn't even recognized her. Ever since coming back from our last mission, I found putting myself together an uphill battle. Guilt was weighing me down, making it hard to breathe, or move, or speak, when every action I did, everything I said was a lie. I had lied to everyone, Laxus, my dad… Natsu. My life had been split into two categories, who I was and who I had been before that day. The day I lost myself, the day I gave up. No matter which way I spun it, I couldn't figure out a way to forgive myself.

The door to the women's restroom creaked open and Mirajane walked in. "Ah Lucy! I've been looking for you!" She said as if she was relieved to have found me. "You two are up first!" She panted, showing me the clipboard of time slots.

Gildarts was back now, but he was on crutches and it would still be weeks before he could return to training. Before recent events, Mirajane had finally relented and had decided to accept Gildarts challenge for an S class trial. This left her without pairing for the tournament, leaving her available to help Laxus organize.

"Alright. I'm coming. Let's get this over with." I say while I finished up applying some tinted chap stick.

"Everything alright?" Asked Mirajane suddenly, searching my face. She put a hand on my shoulder and gently pushed me backwards into better lighting so that she could examine me better, her nose inches from mine.

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?"

"It's just… you seem a little… off. Are you sure you're alright? We can cancel if you're not feeling well. These tournaments really aren't all that important anyways, don't feel pressured if you're under the weather."

"No it's fine Mirajane. I'm alright. Really." I served her a reassuring smile. While Mirajane didn't look convinced she at least nodded.

….

"Remember, your reach is your best advantage against Juvia… If she gets you on the ground, use your legs for leverage and get back up. Always get back up. You're no match for her on the floor. Juvia's excellent at wrestling." Said Erza as I was doing some warm-up stretches on a matt off the side.

A boxing ring had been erected in the gymnasium, where Juvia and I were scheduled to face off. I hadn't caught sight of her yet today, she must have been warming up somewhere else. "Yeah Okay." I say, breathing heavily as I started to do some jumping jacks. My mind was still in a fog and no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't focus. Vaguely the atmosphere reminded me of what it was like before a cheer meet, except there was a lot less glitter.

"Hey Lucy!" Called Natsu cheerfully, smiling at me. God, he was so hot when he smiled. He strode over to where I was warming up, passing Wendy and Lisanna who were setting up chairs. "Just wanted to wish you good luck today!" He rubbed my back encouragingly. Natsu wasn't slated to go until this evening, he had archery with Jellal. Everyone I had talked to about the tournament today seemed to favor Jellal for the win, but at this point I had learned to never underestimate Natsu.

"Thanks Natsu." I say serving him a weak smile. It was hard for me to even look at him, to know I had let him down most of all. My secret burning a hole through my heart. He mistook my timid smile for lack of confidence, and while I was sure I was about to be humiliated, that was the least of my concerns.

Misreading my expression, he said. "Don't worry Lucy, you've got this. Just rely on your instincts, they're almost always good. Sure, Juvia might be a little out of your weight class, but you've faced off against a lot worse. It's your first tournament so the most important thing is to keep a level head and try and remember what Erza's taught you."

I knew he was trying his best to be encouraging, but all my mind could think of was Justin, who was barely more than a teenager and I still hadn't been able to fight him off despite my best efforts. How should Juvia, a trained Fairy Tail wizard, be any different? I opened my mouth to reply to Natsu, unsure of what to say. Thankfully Mirajane approached, clipboard in hand.

"You about ready Lucy?" Asked Mirajane.

….

I hadn't caught sight of Juvia until right before we both climbed into the ring. She had her medium length blue hair pull back in short Dutch braids, wearing matching Off-White biker shorts and sports bra combo. She licked her full lips before she pulled herself up onto the platform. I took this moment to really study Juvia as an opponent, and the way she moved, her powerful thighs and ass, her back rippled with meaty muscle, her shoulders and arms toned and shapely. I looked down at my own lanky limbs, a result of a lifetime of being more concerned with how my body looked rather than how effective it was. While I wasn't a total twig I had a body more similar to a dancer than a gymnast. Before I knew it Laxus has rang the bell and Mirajane, who was dressed in a sexy version of a Halloween referee outfit, announced round one.

I had never been in a fight before. I mean sure I'd been in fights like missions and stuff. But this was different, aside from sparing with Erza I'd never been forced to rely on nothing but my own body. No keys, no whips, no sword. Just me. And unlike Erza, Juvia wouldn't be pulling her punches.

As soon as the bell sounded we squared up, our fists guarding our faces, as we circled each other, my own demeaning smirk mirrored on Juvia's face. Following Erza's instructions I had to crouch a little lower than I was used to, to guard my torso against a shorter opponent. Before long Juvia started jabbing the thin air around me, testing my reactions.

"Want to know how I got into Fairy Tail!?" Juvia taunted between jabs, that I continually dodged. She was slower than Erza, so in comparison dodging her was a piece of cake, but the reckless force she put behind her punches was something I'd prefer to avoid. So far I had stuck to the plan, to be on the defensive, to tire her out before I made my move. Her short arms and legs would tire eventually as she had to move them more to keep up with my longer limbs. The problem was she hit harder than I could, Juvia's short, jabs where nothing to scoff at. I chose not to dignify her with a response. Instead I tried to recognize patterns in her footwork.

So far she hadn't landed a single hit, and I hadn't even attempted one offensive move yet. This was mixed martial arts, and we were still on the boxing stage. I kept a low center of gravity, pivoting in the center as Juvia sidled around me, trying to land a hit. She threw a kick in, I dodged that as well, Juvia was testing me. For minuets we circled like that, eventually my impatience got the better of me and I decided to go against Erza's teachings to move things along. The next time Juvia tried to land a punch I swooped out of the way and countered with a sharp jab to her ribs.

There were some audible "Oooos!" From the crowd, but I was too occupied to decipher who they came from. DING! Laxus rang a bell and Mirajane indicated the end of the first round. Juvia and I retreated to our corners. Erza and Natsu where in mine, Lisanna and Gray in hers.

"That was good! Landed the first hit!" Praised Natsu as he held up a towel for me to spit my mouth piece into. Sexy.

Erza handed me a water, I refused it at first but she insisted. "You were also lucky. Keep at it and I think you've got a fair shot. You're an unknown variable to her, she doesn't know what to make of you. Try and keep it like that for as long as you can."

DING!

The start of the second round came in and Juvia came at me with a renewed sense of purpose. Juvia had all but abandoned her guard and was coming at me now with both fists. I couldn't dodge them all and she repeatedly kicked at my shins and forearms. They'd be one giant, ugly, bruise later. Eventually I would have to stop floating like a butterfly, pretty soon here I'd have to be the bee.

Right hook. Left hook. I swung under them both, then popped up in front of Juvia, past her defenses. I jerked my leg up, aiming to kick her square in the sternum. I was a fraction of a second too slow. Juvia grabbed both hands onto my foot and twisted my whole leg, forcing me to face plant onto the stage. I was able to break my fall to save my face but still, Juvia was on top of me from behind, twisting my leg, leaning on it with all her body weight, threatening to break it by sheer torsion. She leaned forward over my back to whisper in my ear, sweat from her forehead beading onto my shoulders.

"I went to a prestigious private school, designed especially for kids with extra ordinary talents." She hissed in my ear. I didn't care to listen to her sob story, what I cared about was trying to find a way out of this that didn't involve any tapping. I refused to be checkmated so early. "I participated in contests and pageants, took internships, I spent years of my life planning and honing my skill, when I finally graduated I applied my services to Fairy Tail. There where hundreds of applicants." …. If I could just shove myself off my elbows hard enough I just might be able to hook my other leg around her torso, then I could shove her off of me, but I would only get one chance. Juvia cranked harder on my leg, my hip threatened to dislocate and I couldn't help but cry out.

There was commotion in the crowd, but my vision was blurred and my ears where full of Juvia's words. What was she trying to tell me? What did any of this matter? "Ever ask Wendy how she joined?" Juvia continued, unconcerned with whatever else was going on. "Or Lisanna? They'll tell you a similar story. A story of a lifetime fill will blood, sweat and tears, full of nothing but determination to be the best. To watch how many of our peers fall short."

Gritting my teeth at the anticipated pain, and with an ugly growl I managed to roll over, this time, pinning Juvia with my knee into her gut, my hands on her wrists. "And YOU!" Juvia continued, sneering up at me. Both of our breathing where ragged as we fought for dominance rolling around on the floor, each of us trying to gain the upper hand on the other. I was trying to remember what Erza had told me about Juvia but the thoughts escaped before I had time to think. I could now only react.

She had me in an arm bar, and I begged it hadn't been six minutes yet. I knew the bell would be sounding soon, and when it did I didn't want to be the one pinned. "And YOU! YOU got to skip all that! You get in because Natsu, precious, infallible, almighty Natsu, has a hard on for you…. Hack tsu!" Juvia spit right in my face, and I finally came unhinged.

There are certain things I will take with dignity, there's a time and a place for the high road. But this wasn't one of them. I steered full throttle straight down the low road. I cocked my hand back and planted my fist right in her face.

As soon as I did it there was a series of whistle blowing, but I didn't stop. Taken aback by my sudden total disregard for the rules, I climbed on top of Juvia and punched her again, high off the intoxicating feeling of power. The power that, just a couple of days ago had been robbed from me. Right here and now, with my knuckles colliding with Juvia's bitchy face, I felt alive again. Just as my third punch was about to land home, Mirajane yanked me backwards by my shoulders. As quickly as I had blown up, I had slapped back down to earth so much harder, a wave of embarrassment for losing my shit enveloped me.

Juvia scrambled to her feet, whipping snot and blood off of her face with her bare arm. "Fucking Cunt!" She was screaming.

As I regained awareness I realized that the whole gymnasium had turned into a screaming match. Natsu was screaming at Mirajane, who was about to announce that I'd disqualified myself for a blatant hit to the face, literally the only real rule of the sport. He was defending me saying how I'd been provoked. Erza was yelling something about points. Gray and Lisanna were also shouting, demanding I take the loss.

DING! DING! DING! "ENOUGH!" Yelled Laxus over it all, as he banged on his bell to get our attention.

Natsu

Later that Evening

"I think that's enough Lucy." I say, wrenching the bottle out of her hands. She was teetering dangerously on her bar stool, and I had to put a foot on the bottom of it to steady her.

"Oh fuck off Natsu." She slurred, pushing hair out of her face and lazily trying to swipe the bottle out of my hands.

"Come on! We all lose our shit from time to time. Plus, Juvia was goading you, I'd have done the same thing quite frankly. Nobody's judging you so you can cut it out!" She'd been getting plastered all afternoon watching everybody else's match ups. I also had lost my bracket, but I didn't let it bother my ego too much. Jellal had the aim of a military grade sniper, it didn't matter what weapon he was using. Besides, there would always be a next time. I had assumed her behavior was due to her embarrassment about getting disqualified, although if I was being honest with myself, this had all started before the fight. She'd been getting piss drunk every night since coming back from that last mission, and while it was a stressful experience it wasn't totally above shit that's happened to her in the past. The shadow demon, the genie, Yukino, the pirates…. How where gangsters any worse? Something was wrong…. something was really wrong and for the life of me I couldn't figure it out. I supposed that's what a lifetime of suppressing my own emotions earned me, a failure to recognize them in others.

"Just give me the bottle back." She scoffed, serving me a dry, emotionless look. It was a look that scared the piss out of me, I didn't recognize this version of Lucy. Her mascara was rubbed around her eyes, her hair in a loose pony tail with frizzy wisps around her face, but it was her eyes that scared me the most. They were empty, lifeless. Something had happened to make them like that and I was bound and determined to find out what.

"No. You're done for the night." I put the bottle of tequila back on the shelf and filled up a glass of water at the sink.

"Fuck you, you're not." Hiccup. "My dad!" Hiccup.

"No… but I am the one responsible for you… here drink this." I say handing her the glass. She brushed it away and I rolled my eyes, annoyed, and set it on the counter in front of her.

"You're not…. aaasponsible for me." She said, looking up at me, her eyes half lidded as she pointed at her own chest. "I'm aaasponsible for me." Then she swayed a little then burped.

"Hot." I say outload. "Come on Lucy." I sighed. "Let's get you to bed." Offering her my hand to grab on to. She slapped it away.

"NO!" She said vehemently, and the scrunched up expression on her face reminded me strongly of a toddler refusing to take a nap. At that moment Gray walked up to grab another beer from the fridge, decidedly observing Lucy's little tantrum. Like myself and Lucy, Gray had also lost his match with Erza… badly… as I had predicted.

"What's goin' on here?" Asked Gray curiously.

"Aahh, she's just a little too drunk."

"Am not! Just give it back Natsuuu!" She cried, teetering too far forwards on her stool, but catching herself with her elbows on the bar. Gray traded a knowing look with me.

"Yeah Lucy." Said Gray slowly, coming to my aid. "We're all going to bed soon anyways, it's late." It wasn't it was only like 9:00, but she didn't need to know that.

Completely disregarding Gray, she got up off her stool and came around the bar, stretching up on her tip toes to try and reach the bottle of tequila behind me. "Whoa- whoa- whoa! Not so fast!" I say, capturing both her wrists in my one hand.

"But I need it Natsu! I can't sleep without it!" Was it all of her experiences combined that where catching up with her? Or had something else happened? No, something had changed, I was sure of it. Why was she acting this way all of the sudden?

"Just give her the bottle Natsu." Said Gray in a strange and unexpected tone that sounded close to defeat.

"What!?" I say incredulous, turning around to face him. Suspiciously he avoided eye contact.

"Just give the girl what she wants." He relented, his expression dangerously close to guilty, which was fucking suspicious. I'd have to take this up with him later.

"Yeah, listen to Gray." Said Lucy as she tried to wriggle her arms out of my grasp.

"You two are both crazy." I say. "You're going to make yourself sick Lucy. Drink some water, go to sleep and we'll talk about whatever's bothering you in the morning."

Both Gray and Lucy exchanged a meaningful glance, and my skin prickled. The two had betrayed their last clue. Something HAD happened. But now was not the time to ferret it out of Lucy, and I swallowed the instant temper that boiled in my belly. In my brief distraction she had freed her arms and had tried to reach over my shoulder again. Choosing to ignore whatever that was for the time being, I ducked down and scooped Lucy over my shoulder, which she flailed her legs around and beat her fists on my back demanding that I let her go. I left Gray in the main Guild Hall as I carried Lucy off.

About halfway to her room Lucy stopped her childish tantrum, but I didn't dare let her on her feet. Instead I continued to march in silence to her room where I deposited her onto her bed. It was then that I noticed she was sobbing. "N-n-Natsu." She sniffed.

"Yeah Lucy." I say crouching down in front of her bed to be level with her. I hated it when she cried. I never knew what to say or do, and whatever it was I did end up saying, it always felt wrong. Her lower lip trembled, and tears spilled over her cheeks. My mouth suddenly felt dry.

"I…I'm so sorry Natsu!" She blubbered drunkenly. I wanted to pass this off as drunk white girl hysterics, but the way she looked at me indicated she was apologizing for something else. "I'm s-s-sorry!" She repeated, and her desperation made my heart sink. Not knowing what to say, I did the only thing that felt right. I reached out a hand to cup the side of her face and neck. I pulled her into my chest and she clung onto my shirt as she soaked it with tears and snot. I had never really noticed before how fragile she truly was. How my one hand could fit most of the way around her neck. She wasn't a particularly small girl, yet her body was still so much smaller than my own. She was always so loud and vibrant, she always occupied every cell in her body to the fullest. But not now. Now I saw a hint was what she really was inside…. In reality she was just a girl who was in way over her head.

"It's alright. It's alright Lucy." I purr, petting the back of her head, not knowing what it was I was forgiving, but doing so just the same.

….

The Next Morning

Gray was uncharacteristically meek during our morning workout. He hardly said anything as he loaded weights onto bar. We had been doing this morning routine for so long, we hadn't really needed to speak, but still, we usually chatted while we curled at least. Finally, as we loaded our weights back onto the rack, (or else suffer the rather of Lisanna, who couldn't lift them and would be coming in after us), I decided I couldn't take it anymore. Something was wrong with Lucy, and Gray knew what it was. I'd be damned if Gray knew something about MY girlfriend that I didn't.

"So Gray, tell me something what really happened during the mission? I know you know!" I found the subject difficult to bring up in conversation, so I just decided to nut up and dump the question on him. I tried to sound as casual as possible, but inside my body was churning with nerves for whatever it was he might say. And as usual, my nervousness reared its head as short tempered and aggressive.

"You know I know what? You're going to have to be more specific." Said Gray, flippantly as he zipped up his gym bag. I could tell he was intentionally avoiding looking at me, which only made my gut feeling intensify.

"Don't play dumb with me!" I scoff. Gray didn't answer, but he worked his jaw as if he was deciding something. The pressure inside me was building. "Fuck if I'm ever letting her go on a mission with you again! Look at her! She's a mess!" I continued indicating the direction of Lucy's room. "I knew I couldn't trust anyone else with her, not even my best friend!" I tried to keep a lid on my temper, but my internal thermometer had other plans. "Hell! The last mission you two went on together… If Laxus hadn't gotten us those coins…. I couldn't even think about what might have happened! To you and to Lucy!"

The worst part was, I knew he had done his best. I knew that had it been within Gray's capabilities to rescue her from whatever tormented her, he would have. Shit. Even I had been bested by…. What was that pricks name again? Lanksy? Albeit had I anticipated his level of skill and abilities I would have played things out differently. In truth, how could I possibly blame Gray, when I had also failed her, if anything I had failed worse than he had. But it wasn't a pill I was prepared to swallow, and I sure as shit wasn't going to admit this to Gray. No, it was far easier to brush Gray in the blame.

Gray

"I managed to keep her alive! Thank you very much! And besides…. I didn't fail her half as much as you did." I said darkly, my own temper flaring to match Natsu's. "How dare you put on this me! You don't even know…." I struggled with that to tell him, my anger wanted to throw it all in his face, but at the same time my heart wouldn't let me. It would be to cruel and I had to remind myself of the promise I made to Lucy. "You weren't there! You were too busy being too big for your breeches… as always!" I said, buffing up my chest. Natsu might be able to intimidate Laxus sometimes, but he couldn't intimidate me.

"What do you mean?" He said in a low voice, his iris's starting to turn the way they did when he lost his temper. "Tell me the truth Gray or I swear to god…." He finished balling his fists, taking a dangerous step closer to me. I sighed, standing up straight and relaxing my arms to my sides in defeat. I had been afraid of this. Riding in the middle between Lucy and Natsu these past several days had been a feat that deserved a medal. It wasn't a place I cared to be and my conscience had struggled with which side of the fence to lean on. I had told myself that I could live with a lie of omission, but that if Natsu where to ever ask me outright, I would have to go back on my word to Lucy. I couldn't lie to my best friend, not when it was this important.

"Lanksy and his boys…. they…. They went back Natsu. I got there just in time." I growled, leveling my icy stare, my fists curling at the memory. While it appeared I was looking at Natsu, in reality I was looking past him. At the horrible vision of Lucy strapped to the table.

He flew at me so fast, that even though I had been expecting it, it still caught me off guard. I had to take a step back to steady myself as he clamped a clawed fist around my throat. He crushed me against the gym wall behind me. "THEY WHAT!?" Natsu was snarling, saliva dripping off his enlarged teeth, which where way too close to my face. He was in shadow except for his glowing red eyes. Hit hot breaths huffed on my face smelling faintly of campfire smoke. It startled me how fast he had transitioned, and I was trying to remember a time he'd done it that fast before.

I gave him a swift and sharp upper cut, I hit hard enough to hear his teeth clack together. He stumbled backwards and let go of my throat, but before my heels even sank back onto the ground, WHAMP. Natsu lugged me hard on the side on my face with a familiar dull thud as the meat of his fist met my face. Immediately I could tell he knocked a couple of molars loose as blood gushed into my mouth.

"You've been too blind to notice!" I growled back at him, spitting out wad of blood. Natsu was shaking while he tried to contain himself, something I hadn't personally witness him do before and it gave me a gut feeling. It was at that moment I understood how truly out of control he was. It was horrible to watch my best friend be in this much distress over the functions of his own body. If I had sometimes envied Natsu's power level before, I pitied him now. At least my demons leant me control, they'd never consume me the way Natsu's did.

"WHY!? WHY DIDN'T EITHER OF YOU TELL ME EARLIER!" He roared, and although he was violently angry, I could also tell that he was hurt we'd kept this from him. I steadied myself, ready to guard against another punch.

"She made me promise not to say anything." I say bowing my head in reverence. Natsu gave a half growl, half grunt in response. All the muscles in his body tense as he refrained from pommeling me. Not that I'd let 'em. "But really, you should have realized something was off! She can't fall asleep without being piss drunk, she's spent most of the past several days in her room! Did it even occur to you that something was wrong!?"

"Of course I did!" He snarled, crowding up on me again. He served me a murderous look but kept his fists at his sides, claws and scales on his hands reflected in the gym mirrors. He paused closing his eyes and focused on his breathing as if he was trying to calm himself.

"What? You thought it was really about her failing that stupid test!? That she really cares if she loses to Juvia!? She's a hell of a lot stronger than you give her credit for Natsu! You'd know that if you'd ever let her stand on her own two feet from time to time!"

"Careful Gray! It's a far sight better than almost getting killed every time she's with you! Maybe if you had the balls to dish out some of those demon slayer powers a little sooner we wouldn't be having this conversation."

That was too far. How dare he try to turn this around and make this about the bastard I'm forced to call a father. It was my turn to be mad now. I socked him with all the strength training at the gym earned me. Natsu didn't budge, but the wood flooring beneath his feet cracked. I withdrew while Natsu was coughing, satisfied that although I hadn't knocked him to the ground, I had at least knocked the wind out of him. "Fuck you." I curse at him.

Ignoring me, after his fit of coughs he asked again "What happened Gray?" His voice hoarse, and I caught him wincing before I even answered.

"I think you'd better talk Lucy about it." I say, glaring down at him doubled over with my arms across my chest.

"Don't make me ask you again!" He threatened dangerously, recovering from his coughing fit. My eyes flicked to the light reflecting off the scales on him arms, the way his muscles seemed to be tight against his skin. I'd never before pushed him to this point before. Sure, I'd seen Natsu kinda scaly a number of times, but never directed at me. I was starting to see why Erza was so concerned, it was so easy for him now. Whatever barrier there was between Natsu and the dragon, it was waning.

"They must have gone back for her shortly after you and Gildarts where incapacitated. She fought hard I can tell you that, one of 'em had a broken nose….and…" And I knew she had put up a fight based on the way they had to tie her down, but I wanted to spare Natsu the mental image.

"And?" He prompted.

"And… anyways, she was pretty much naked by the time I got there…. but not…. completely. Like I said, I had impeccable timing." My eyes sank to the floor, bowing my head as if apologizing for seeing his girl naked. I heard Natsu's teeth snap together but I continued. "When I showed up they…." I paused, not willing to admit to Natsu that I HAD used my demon slayer powers to rescue her, fearing that it might reveal my betrayal. I had decided to blatantly omit our tender moment, both to save my own skin, and to save Lucy from having to explain. If I was going to go back on my promise, the least I could do was not throw her under the bus.

"Know who they are?" He asked, I was no fool. I knew what he was really asking. He was asking me if I'd help him find them.

"Yeah." I say, nodding and giving him a knowing look. "You wanna find them?"

"Yeah…."

"Find them and do what?" I questioned, an eyebrow cocked. Natsu never answered me, but we both knew I already knew what the answer was.

"Let's go. Meet you in the garage." He said, already pushing past me.

"Wait. Where are you going?" I asked, swiveling around as he was headed in the opposite direction of the garage.

"To talk to Lucy." He called over his shoulder, his arms and neck still in patches of scales.

"Wait! Hold on Natsu!" I say grabbing onto his shoulder. He shrugged me off but I tried again, with more effort the second time. "You really think that's a good idea?" I asked him, indicating his current physical condition.

"Will you!?" I challenged, giving him a knowing look that inferring I meant 'keep it under control'?

"Fine." He said short with me, irritated that I was holding him up, but unwilling to admit that I was right. If he was letting me supervise this conversation with Lucy, he truly was off the rails.

Without knocking he ripped Lucy's bedroom door open. She had been laying in her bed, and sat up startled when Natsu burst in. She was in pink pajamas with white hearts all over them, and it was mid-morning already. I hung back in the doorway, trying not to interfere until forced.

"Lucy!" Natsu yelled, and my heart broke into a thousand pieces as she looked from me to Natsu. She knew immediately what had transpired, her eyes where wide and horrified. Natsu didn't wait for her to respond, but he hadn't missed the look she gave me. "What happened after Gildarts and I were passed out!? Tell me! Huh!?" He grabbed her by her chin and pulled Lucy to her feet. Sparks started to sputter out of the palm of his other hand, but at least he managed to dim the one that was touching her. He pulled Lucy's face up to meet his, but she tore her chin out of his hand to look away.

"Nothing…" She said dazedly as she turned away from him. Her strange bemused behavior more of an admission than her words where. "I'm fine."

"You're clearly not!" He shouted back, grabbing on to her arm, his hand encased her whole bicep as he jerked her back around. Lucy bobbled a little like a rag doll. Natsu had just been too rough and I took a step forward, warning him that that was enough. He ignored me, staring dead on into Lucy's face with an intensity that made me feel uncomfortable.

"I swear to god Lucy if they laid a finger on you… I'll!" Natsu's voice was low and gravely as his breath moved past his teeth. He was so furious he was shaking and he couldn't finish his sentence with imploding. His clawed hand was still wrapped around Lucy's arm and I was becoming afraid that he'd accidentally break it.

"They didn't do anything Natsu! I'm fine!" She lied, averting her eyes from his at all costs. Tears welled in her big brown eyes again, and all I wanted to do was hold her until it was better, but of course Natsu was acting thuggish. What she had needed in that moment was sympathy and understanding, not the brutish caveman response Natsu seemed unable to help.

"Bullshit!" He said, lowering his voice as he realized he was making her cry. "C'mon Gray, let's go! Lucy! We'll be back!" He let go of her and turned to leave.

"No you can't go!" Cried Lucy as she lunged forward for Natsu's arm, pulling him back. He stopped to look at her. "You guys almost died fighting them! Let it go Natsu! I'm okay! Really!" She was frantic, at a point she looked at me for support, I couldn't lend her any, mostly because I was just as eager as Natsu was to serve up justice. The only difference was I was at least a gentleman about it.

"Lucy…" Natsu said as if she was testing his patience. He released her fingers from his arm and turned towards the doorway again. Several more times Lucy tried to stop him but he eventually made it to the door saying.

"We'll be back." Before he slammed the door behind him. As soon as the door closed we could hear Lucy sobbing from the other side. I gave a sideways glance at Natsu, expecting her reaction to have at least soften Natsu expression. It didn't. If anything it hardened, his lips set in a thin like as we marched off towards the garage.

Lucy

I was left alone and frightened in my room. What do I do? I can't physically stop them!? I was scared. Scared of a great many things. Scared that Natsu and Gray might get hurt, scared what they would do, scared for whatever repercussions waited on the other side. This was why I didn't want anybody to find out. I didn't need them to fight for me, I needed to battle my demons on my own and I didn't think catching the perpetrators could reverse the past. It's not like they're law enforcement, it's not as though they were acting under orders by some form of government sanction that would clean up their mess for them. It's not as though whatever Natsu decided to do would stop these men from harming other women….

I paced my room anxiously for hours, when Mirajane came looking for me I had to pretend to be sick for her to leave me alone. I couldn't tell Mirajane what was happening, I was afraid pretty soon whole guild knowing about it and I couldn't stand that. I couldn't do anything; I was realizing hopelessly. I debated telling Erza but she would most likely just tell Laxus. And Laxus! I lied to him to! God this was such a mess!

I tried to shower, thinking that the hot water might sooth me a fraction. It didn't. I was to fractious to even blow dry my hair, a routine that usually allowed me time to collect my thoughts.

Eventually the day descended into darkness, and I could do nothing but slowly watch the light creep away from behind my curtains. Minuets traveled on and I couldn't bring myself to do anything but sit and watch my phone as evening turned into night, and the night turned into late night. Every minute they were, gone I grew more and more worried and every second that ticked by I was growing closer and closer to going to confess the whole thing to Laxus. Right as 1:59 turned to 2:00 I heard footsteps, followed by a shadow outside of my bedroom door. Unable to contain it anymore I flew across the room to open the door before he could.

When I opened the door I gasped at the malignant expression on Natsu's face. His stature was cold…. Stone cold… colder than cold. A new type of fear surfaced rearing its serpentine-like head. I remember I had seen Natsu like this once before, and even then his energy didn't poison the atmosphere like it did now.

"Come with me." He ordered, taking a hold of my arm and dragging me, none too gently, out of my room and down the hall. He was so formidable that I was afraid to make a peep, I was afraid of Natsu in that moment. I wasn't afraid he was going to hurt me, but anything else at this point was fair game, when his eyes glow red and his pupils narrowed, there was no stopping Natsu from whatever it was he had his mind set on.

He didn't look back at me once while he dragged me down the hallway, out of the guild hall and into the night. Wordlessly he helped me into an old, single cabbed Toyota Tacoma that was used by the landscaping company. Once I was seated he slammed the door and walked around the front of the car to the driver's seat, and took us across the property. The dull orange light of the truck bounced all over the place as we drove across one of Fairy Tail's many lawns, bunny rabbits scurrying out of the way. I chanced a look at Natsu, but I didn't dare open my mouth. He wasn't snarling, his nostrils weren't flaring and there wasn't a single scale over his whole body. His eyes where what haunted me the most, and in a way is was more terrifying than if he had claws and teeth.

Without slowing down Natsu drove straight into the forest behind the Guild Hall, the truck bouncing wildly as we hit tree roots and shallow bogs. Asking Natsu where we were going was on the tip of my tongue, but just as I was about to open my mouth to speak, the scene I saw sent ice cold dread trickling down my spine.

Three men where blind folded, chained together and gagged, the only light other than the full moon above us, was the headlights of the truck pointed straight at the hostages. They casting eerie shadows that danced across the empty woods. Gray was holding onto the end of the chain that bound the three men together, his expression similar to Natsu's.

"Natsu… Natsu.. What is this!?" Panic rising in the voice I finally found.

"Get out of the car." He ordered, his voice devoid of all empathy and emotion.

"Not until you tell me what this is!" I floundered, the anxiety rose in my throat, threatening to strangle me.

"Step. Out. Of. The. Car. Lucy." Repeated Natsu, without opening his teeth. If my life had been an action adventure movie before, it now had suddenly taken a wrong turn now horror/thriller lane. I refused to move, stunned as I watched the three hostages Gray and Natsu had captured. They had Justin and Mr. Lansky alright, but I didn't recognize the third. When I still didn't move Natsu got out of the car, ripped open the passenger side door and dragged me out by my arm. The brisk night air was harsh against my pajamas, my nipples hardened and the dewy moss soaked through my slippers.

"Stop! Natu! What is this!? No! Stop!" I screeched as I tried to pull my arm out of his grip, but it didn't work and I tripped. I would have fallen on my face except for the grip Natsu had already had on my arm was so strong it held me upright. "Natsu stop! Whatever this is stop." I say planting my heels, trying to grow some courage, but he only continued to ignore me. He marched me over to in front of the three men, he nodded to Gray who ripped the blindfold off of Lansky. I wondered how they had managed to contain him from teleporting, but then I realized there was a needle sticking out of the side of his neck. Natsu and Gray must have injected him with something that counter acted his magic.

Lansky's eyes darted around wildly, until they settled on me. I made eye contact with him briefly and I felt instantly nocuous. I would have puked all over the forest floor, except that I hadn't eaten anything that day so there wasn't anything to throw up. Lansky must have recognized who I was because he started screaming against his gag and testing his chain. Gray yanked on his chain violently, causing him to slump sideways into the mud without the use of his arms to break his fall. Natsu grabbed my shoulder to spin me around to face him, then held my chin up so that I was forced into eye contact with him.

"Did this man here touch you Lucy?" Natsu asked, his voice so low I doubted anyone but me could hear it.

I shook my head. "Natsu, we can't do this. No." I say, pleading with him to see reason. My pleas fell on deaf ears.

"I'll ask you again." He said, I winced as venom started to seep into his words. His fingers reach up, pinching my cheeks together, making my lips pucker out in a fish face. "Did this mother fucker touch you? If you lie to me, I'll cremate them all alive right here and now!"

My throat caught and tears rolled out of the corners of my eyes as I nodded slowly. Without taking his eyes off me, he extended out his right hand. An explosion burst from his palm, so bright it illuminated the whole forest for a split second. The blast blew my hair back and I had to wince from the intense heat.

Lansky rolled around in the mud in agony, the smell of burning flesh invading my nostrils but I was too scared to look at anything but the squishy moss under my pink slippers. I could feel the heat of Natsu's gaze burning into the top of my head as I refused to look, but I could still hear. Hear his animalistic cries from beyond the gag. Just when I thought I had seen the worst of it, Natsu slowly raised his arm again, sending off another concentrated blast.

More intense screaming as the gag was burned away, I could hear the jingle of the chains as he fought them like a rabbit in a snare. I had never seen a human being act like this before. Lanksy was no longer a sentient being capable of complex thought, he had been reduced to a mindless being subjected to nothing but immense pain. Another blast, and the screaming stopped.

"Hold on a minute Natsu!" Piped up Gray, still holding onto the chains of the other hostages. Even Gray had seemed rattled by Natsu's bloodthirst, he was an unstoppable freight train, Gray and I where no more than passengers. Natsu decidedly ignored Gray and sent off a fourth blast. By the time I looked there was nothing but a pile of ash blowing away in the breeze, a scored piece of earth covered with puddles of molten iron from where the chains had melted.

"What about this one?" Natsu pointed unaffected by the atrocity he had just committed. His eyes, they were so dark…. So vacant. I didn't have to look to know that it was Justin, I could tell by his young stature, and the way is pretty boy hair had been ruffed up, littered with leaves. What some girls might have viewed to have been a romantic gesture upon my virtue, to see these events played out before my eyes… well it reads a different tune. This was about revenge, and it was really more for Natsu than it was about me.

My lack of response might have well have been an admission to Natsu. Justin started screaming and flailing around in grisly anticipation, knowing that he was about to suffer the same fate as Lansky. A fate I would have wished on no one in the world. It was enough that Natsu had killed Lansky, but to burn him alive... it was a heinous death, that left nothing for family members to hold onto. Natsu's victims would become dust on the wind, a ghost to haunt the family members left behind, robbing them of the closure digging a grave would bring. They would spend their whole lives wonderings, searching every face in every crowd.

"Wait Natsu!" Yelled Gray. "This one's just a kid! Hold on!" But Natsu didn't hold on. Natsu held his hand out and sent off a blast so fast there was nothing Gray or I could do to stop it. He torched him alive just like he had Lansky. I sank to me knees, the mud and mulch soaking through the thin cotton of my pants, sobbing but producing no tears. I was shivering violently in the brisk night air, despite the temporary blasts of heat.

"God Damn it Natsu! FUCK!" Cried Gray, shoving a hand through his hair and pacing nervously. It has seemed that Gray had been on the same page with Natsu up until a point, although whatever this…. These… murders… they were clearly not Gray's intention. No, this was all Natsu.

It was as if Gray didn't exist. "And this last one?" Natsu asked me, crouching down to my level so he could better hear. I was afraid to even look at Natsu, afraid what his total lack of empathy would reveal about himself…. Would reveal about me.

I shook my head. "No." I said, my mouth as dry as a desert, I blinked but it didn't moisten my eyes. "I've never seen him before. It's the truth. There was only two."

"I told you there were only two Natsu!" Cried Gray, he was pleading with Natsu now, but a sense of loyalty bound him to Natsu's decisions, no matter how heinous his actions may be.

"Guilty by association… and besides…we can't leave any witnesses." Said Natsu cooly.

His gift to the innocent had only been the mercy of a less painful death as instead of burning the teenager alive, he instead snapped his neck…. then he cremated him.

After it was all over Gray dropped the ends of chains he hand been holding, open mouth gaping at the scene he had just witnessed. An unnatural hush consumed the forest, there were no birds or squirrels, nothing but the light rustling of branches in the light breeze. I was still sitting helplessly on the forest floor, unsure if I could stand, unsure if I deserved to. I felt like I could do nothing but stare at my palms, my hands that, while they were not literally covered in blood, they were symbolically. It was bad enough we had murdered Lanksy and Justin…... but to murder an innocent person just for being in the way. That REALLY didn't feel right. The kid looked young, about Justin's age, with chronic acne and a Captain America T-shirt.

"Get up Lucy." Ordered Natsu, he voice was still firm but he held out a hand for me to take. I stared at it blankly. If I took his hand did that mean I allied with his methods? If I follow him back to the room, does that make me just as guilty? Was I already by association? Or was I worse because I didn't stop it. When I didn't take his hand, and I didn't move to stand Natsu leaned down into my ear to whisper. "Take a good hard look at what I am Lucy. Think of everything we've done, everything we've been through. Do you really think I'm the hero in this story?" His voice was rough and gravely, stinging my skin as if it was road rash.

The look on his face scared the shit out of me because I didn't know who Natsu was anymore. He was devoid of any emotion, he allowed wrath to consume his him. Not a human being who could feel, but rather wrath as an entity, a miasma of dark power that glisten from Natsu's glowing red iris's. Natsu was gone, and I didn't know how, or even if I could get him back.

I had seen him kill before, but even when he killed Yukino it was on the battle field. Although the premise had bothered me then, leaving marks on my soul I could never scrub away, I had swallowed it because it was us versus them mentality. Bound and gagged, these men couldn't have even lift a hand to save themselves. This wasn't a solider fighting for what he believed in. This was murder.

"How could you…. How could you do that!?" I cried, wetness finally starting to lubricate my eyeballs, aware that I was becoming hysterical and not giving a flying fuck. I swiped Natsu's extended hand out of my face and stood up on my own two feet. "You! You Murderer!" I stabbed a finger into his chest, but he didn't move.

"Call me what you want, but I'll tell you who I am. I'm the man that's going to kill any mother fucker who even thinks they can touch you got it? I'm not the good guy Lucy, never have been, never claimed to be. But know this, I'm the man that will keep you alive, and that's a promise. Take me or leave me but this is who I am. Now go sit in and wait for us in the truck while Gray and I clean up."