Content warning: brief anxiety attack.
Cold
As much as she needs her sister's support right now, Elsa can't bring herself to open the door and seek her out. It's frozen over, ice creeping slowly from underneath it. The room is coated in white, delicate snowflake patterns threaten to tear the wallpaper right off.
"C'mon, get it together," Elsa whimpers with her head between her hands. "This isn't the first difficult meeting you've had."
And it's not. She's faced everything from snobs to spineless cowards who don't even dare look her in the eyes while they spew their vitriol, coated in sugary sweet falsities. She's stared down misogynistic toads who make the mistake of underestimating her capacity for fury. She's dealt with overt hostility, with a wave of her hand and an icy reminder to keep distance.
The direct aftermath of today's meeting is catching up to the young queen. Safe, alone in her study, nerves and memory alike swirl in her brain. All the what ifs, what could have beens, it compounds with her normal level of anxiety. She grips the arms of her chair, unable to stop the frost from escaping.
It's been three years, Elsa thinks. Three years since the Thaw. Three years since she learned she could feel again. The results are spreading fast, crackling sounds become ear-splitting as the ice creeps onward. Snow flurries around her. There's even wind howling, though she isn't certain if it's real or a product of her mind.
"Conceal, don't feel," she rasps. She screws her eyes shut as tight as she can. "Just this once, please."
There's a low hum of murmured voices outside the door. She won't be able to get this under control in time, so she doesn't even try. The door jostles, blocked by a three foot thick sheet of ice. Elsa hears banging, grunting, whispered swears as the door just won't move.
"Get away!" she weakly cries out, curling into a ball.
"Elsa, I'm coming in!"
The queen's ears prick at the voice of her sister. The static in her head quiets to an annoying lull, rather than a screeching, grating wail. There's more thumps. They grow stronger, faster. The voice cries out in pain, but it persists.
Anna's throwing herself against the door. That knowledge alone is enough to jolt Elsa from her fog.
"W–wait, Anna! The door's frozen!" Elsa calls. "Stop, I'll thaw it!"
Using only the love in her heart, Elsa wills the wall of ice to vanish from the door. She paces up to it, knowing that Anna will be tumbling in any minute. The queen's lighting reflexes manage to open the door and catch her persistent sibling all at once.
"Els-"
"What were you thinking?!" Elsa roughly grabs the redhead's upper arms. "Are you alright? You didn't break anything, did you?"
"Elsa, what happened?" Anna ignores the rapid fire line of questioning. She takes in the state of her sister's study. "What can I do?"
The queen shuts the door with one hand, pulling her sister into her arms. As Anna's mere presence floods her body with laudanum-strength calm, Elsa's muscles stop twitching. Her shoulders relax. Panting turns to calm, even breathing. She heaves a sigh of relief, prompting a gentle stroke to her hair.
"What's wrong?"
"Bad meeting," Elsa sighs the words. "Anna...please, don't ever do that again."
"But-"
"I know what you're thinking. I'm not shutting you out, that just...happened. But you could've gotten badly hurt. Why would you do that?"
A shamefaced Anna looks down, watching the ice begin to recede.
"I was scared," the redhead squeaks, and she doesn't miss the flinch in Elsa's eyes. "And from the look of it, so were you. Why didn't you come find me?"
"I didn't have enough time," Elsa mumbles. "I'm lucky it's only the study that froze."
Anna throws her arms around Elsa's neck. Now it's her turn to start shivering.
"Anna, it's freezing in here. You'll get sick," the queen pats Anna's back. "Let's go to the reading room."
Elsa's persistent altruism would normally be a lovely quality, had she not been coming down from her own panic. Anna simply nods, and the pair leave the frigid office behind. The queen summons the castle staff, asking for a fire to be started in the reading room. They don't ask any questions; both sisters have haunted expressions on their faces.
The fire roars to life, and the queen gratefully dismisses the staff. Anna sets herself on the ground before the fire. Elsa yanks a quilt from one of the lounge chairs and wraps it around Anna. Before she can tuck it all around her, Anna reaches one arm out and pulls Elsa to her side. The elder sister's hands rub Anna's arms to reintroduce warmth.
"Elsa, I'm okay," the redhead insists. "I'm worried about you."
"I'm sorry-"
"No, stop saying you're sorry. Just sit with me."
The maturity in Anna's tone stuns Elsa into acquiescence. She snuggles beside her sister, laying her heavy head on Anna's shoulder.
"I didn't mean to freeze the door."
"It's alright," Anna pulls the quilt tighter around them, then presses a warm kiss to Elsa's cheek.
"Anna, you could have gotten hurt, what if-"
Elsa finds she is unable to finish with a stubborn finger pressed to her mouth.
"That's enough," Anna's reproachful voice is edged with warmth, as it always is. "We'll talk later. Just rest, Elsa. Give yourself a break."
There's no reason to argue; Elsa is exhausted from her latest meltdown. She gives a frustrated, whimpering sigh.
"Shh, you're okay," Anna passes her fingers through Elsa's hair. The queen feels a finger lightly stroke the bridge of her nose. She gives a shy giggle.
"There you go," there's a smile in the princess' voice. "I'm here, Elsa, and I always will be."
Elsa nods with an acknowledging hum. It's these times that she comes to cherish, when she can shed her cold, perfect skin, even for just a little while. She knows Anna will be right beside her, and that's enough until the skin grows back.
