Hi everyone! I hope you are all still with me and I hope you are all doing well in these strange times. I guess working from home has given me more time to write, strange enough. So even though it still has been about two months since you heard from me, I like to think this was a quick update. :)

A warning before you read, there is torture, blood and some graphic stuff in this chapter so be warned.


Chapter 20, Laudness en Seingeda.

The meeting with Anya had lasted for several hours. Several hours without Lexa, who was still missing and it was getting more likely that Tyler missing had something to do with it. It had been difficult to focus on the meeting, to not let her thoughts drift off to Lexa and Tyler, but more and more time passed without their return and Clarke could not prevent herself from being distracted. The plans for the upcoming days were clear though and with or without Lexa they will continue. When Anya said there will be a conclave after the war for a new Commander, if Lexa is dead, Clarke felt like crying, like yelling at the General for even considering the fact that Lexa could be dead.

But what if Anya was right and Lexa was already dead? And Tyler was too? But she knew that if their disappearance was related it was because Tyler was leverage and would not be killed and killing Lexa would probably not be what the Queen had in mind. If the stories about this woman were anything to go by, then Lexa would be tortured and humiliated in front of her own people until the Queen grew tired of her. And what would she do to Tyler, he is young still, his mind can be bent to the Queen's will and he could become just the type of person that Ontari is now. There was no doubt in Clarke's mind that the young woman had gone through something similar while growing up. It must be a fate worse than death and Clarke wouldn't know what to do with herself if it were to happen to him or any other child. This has to stop right now and it is time to end the Queen's life, Clarke is prepared to do anything in order to win this war and get Lexa and Tyler back.

"I can hear you thinking all the way over here." Raven, who was sitting at the other side of the table, brought Clarke's thoughts back to the present.

"You're right, sorry, I'm not being very good company at the moment." But Raven waved her apology away.

"Don't be sorry, I'm worried too. I mean, there might be a conclave, but we are pretty much fucked if the Commander were to die and if those bastards harmed even a hair on Tyler's head, I'll burn their eyes out in the blacksmith's forge."

Clarke chuckled. "No need to get all graphical on me, Raven." she tried to lighten the mood.

Raven just shrugged. "It's true, but if they really have been taken captive together, I'm sure the Commander will think of something to keep Tyler save, or maybe even let him escape."

Clarke wasn't as confident as Raven. "Escape? And then what? He's a six years old boy who up until a few months ago had never seen a tree before in his life, how would he survive on his own in the woods?"

"Come on now Clarke, how about a little bit more of that glass half full attitude you usually have."

Clarke sighed and rubbed her forehead. "You're right, it's just difficult to focus on the war when they are out there, somewhere."

"You could get your mind set on something else and help me make those bombs that Anya requested." Raven offered.

"No thanks, I will leave that to you. Are you sure you can make them even though all we have left is a few guns?"

"Yeah, it shouldn't be a problem. With that and what we have been able to scavenge from the Ark it should be doable."

After Arkadia had been destroyed, they had been trying to salvage what they could from it. It is useful now in the war, but some of the scraps had been used in rebuilding TonDC as well and if Raven said she can build those bombs, Clarke believed her.

A comfortable silence fell over them and Clarke watched as Raven scribed away on the scroll at the table. They were plans of what was no doubt going to be a rough sketch of the bombs she was going to build. Clarke was pretty sure she was slowly turning mad when she tried to read the numbers and equations Raven was writing down, iit was probably for the best to look away and let Raven do her thing. Getting some rest might not be such a bad idea.

"I should probably go and leave you to it." she started to walk away, but Raven stopped her.

"Wait, Clarke, just… we'll get through this alright? We will get Lexa and Tyler back and we will smoke this bitch's ass."

Clarke chuckled. "You bet we do." she said confident and they both smiled before Clarke walked away.

It must be past midnight by now, with a clear sky she could easily see the moon and the stars lighting it up and she planned to go to her mother and see if she needed anything but then she spotted Aden sitting at a campfire on his own. He was fidgeting with his shirt, just like Clarke he was no doubt worried about what happened to Tyler and in less amounts, Lexa. She decided to go over to him and try to put his mind on other things than to worry about his friend, though Clarke had to admit that was a difficult feat for her as well.

Once she was closer he noticed her approach and looked up. Clarke was greeted by a weary smile, she offered a kind one in return and went to sit next to him. For some minutes she allowed silence to remain between the two of them, Clarke just watched Aden fidgeting with his shirt as he stared at the fire, which Clarke kept burning by tossing some small branches on it once or twice. Eventually Aden spoke, no longer able to handle the silence.

"I don't know what to do without him."

The two boys known each other for a few months only, but to Aden they had grown close enough to be brothers.

"Nor would I, but I know the Commander will do anything in her power to make sure he is back with us alive."

Aden just nodded, he looked away from the fire to lock his eyes on Clarke.

"You worry about her too." He stated.

"As do you, I'm sure."

"But Heda is yours and you are Heda's." His words made Clarke chuckle a bit.

"We care about each other, yes, but I am not hers, nor is she mine, Aden." But Aden gave her a confused look.

"But isn't that the same?" He wondered and it made Clarke chuckle.

"You figure it out when you find someone you love." Aden immediately looked away then, a blush on his cheeks. "I see you already did."

His attempts to keep from looking at Clarke was enough of a confirmation for her. "You don't have to hide your love for someone, Aden, especially not from me."

He followed her words with a short silence before he answered her. "That is the problem, I have not hidden my love for her, but she does not return it and claims it to be a weakness she cannot afford."

Clarke rolled her eyes. "What is it with people and their insistence on love being a weakness."

"Decades of wars have hardened our souls." Aden said.

Clarke eyed him carefully. "Those are some wise words for a fourteen years old boy."

He scowled at her and Clarke huffed. "Fine, fourteen years old young man."

He smirked then and gave her a nod and Clarke smiled back. "Whoever it is that turned you down Aden, it's their loss. You are a strong, lovely and smart young man and either she will see this with time or someone else will."

Clarke didn't really know about heartbreak other than the day Lexa walked away from the mountain. But whether he would like to admit it or not, Aden is still a boy and life will have a lot in store for him. And maybe his love for this person was more than just a teenage crush, when he's older he will learn what exactly love is. Then again, she was only a few years older and still a teenager herself and life was going to throw a lot of surprises in her direction the coming years, things from which she will learn, events that will harden her even more for life on earth.

These last few months had already changed her, made her tougher. She knew how to fight now and whether she liked it or not, she had a neck for politics. And she would use both those skills to get Tyler and Lexa back and end this war. With Nia and the Mountain out of the way Lexa and her people will finally have a chance at peace and Clarke wanted nothing more than to help them achieve that. That didn't mean there would be peace for the rest of their lives, she knew better. There will always be people out there hungry for power but Clarke knew she would be there till her dying breath so that kids like Aden and Tyler can grow up in a world without war.

"Wanheda, Anya approaches."

She cleared her thoughts and looked up at the mention of Anya and saw the General approaching them quickly.

"Both of you, with me." she said. There was no room left for questions when she turned and walked away.

Both Clarke and Aden scurried to their feet and silently followed Anya until they reached the entrance of the war room. Rona was standing there and in her arms she held a child, wrapped in a blanket. Her eyes immediately widened in shock, realizing who exactly Rona was holding and Aden seemed to notice too.

"Tyler!" he ran towards them and the boy looked up, slightly smiling.

Clarke could see Tyler was tired, there were bags under his eyes that matched her own, but he also had a few scratches in his face and she spotted a gash at his knee. Besides the fatigue and the scratches Tyler looked otherwise unharmed as the boy faced Aden.

"Bro…" he mumbled softly, he was close to falling asleep. Whatever he had been through, it had tired him out.

Clarke could barely contain her smile when she saw Aden's eyes water with tears. Not that long ago Aden told her that Tyler is a brother to him, but he probably never expected the boy to already call him that too. Maybe he won't for a while still and it's the haze of sleep that's talking now, but Aden was overjoyed nonetheless.

"Clarke…" Tyler mumbled softly when she stepped next to Aden.

She leaned forward and placed a kiss on his forehead. "Heya, strikon. I'm glad to see you."

That was an understatement, she was overjoyed to see him alive and well, but she will keep that feeling to herself right now, no need to overwhelm him more than he already is. But she secretly wondered that if Tyler was here, would that mean Lexa was too?

"Heda said you would find me…" His voice was even softer now, he was close to falling asleep.

She brushed her fingers through his hair. "Shh, sleep, Tyler. We will talk once you've rested." It seemed he had already fallen asleep, so she turned to Rona. "Mochof Rona, for looking after him."

"Pro, Klark."

She watched the older woman walk away with Tyler, Aden moved to go with her, Anya stopped him.

"Stay, seken." He looked confused. "You said you wanted to learn more than just fight, what will occur here is highly secret, you will watch and learn, say nothing until spoken to and you will not tell anyone of this, understood?"

He straightened his shoulders and nodded. "Sha, Onya."

"Good, let's go."

The hope she had for Lexa being in here was quickly lost when she scanned the room and found no sign of the woman she loves. Were they here because Tyler's escape had been at the cost of Lexa's life, was she here so that Anya could tell her this in person? But what were the other people here doing then? Indra was here, as were Tys and Kensi. And who was the man standing next to Anya? A question she noticed she said out loud when the man smirked and was kind enough to answer.

"Prince Roan of Azgeda, and I take it you are Wanheda?"

Prince Roan of Azgeda, she heard the name before. Nacada had mentioned him too, the Ice Nation people thought him dead, murdered by his mother, he didn't look very dead to Clarke. She had an idea though, on why he disappeared.

"I am, but Clarke will do just fine. Nice to meet you, Prince Roan." She said and slightly bowed in respect to his title.

"Nice to meet you too, Clarke, and you can call me Roan as well." he nodded at her.

"Enough pleasantries." Anya interrupted them. "We need to act now."

"I take it Heda is still a prisoner then?" Clarke asked Anya.

"She sacrificed herself to let Tyler escape." The General replied. "We have been in contact with Roan in secret ever since Nia took Polis. The Commander knew where Roan was hiding with his followers and when they were close to him she allowed Tyler to escape."

"My scouts kept close watch and once Otta and her people made camp they sent for me, we caught up with the boy during his escape and killed the man chasing him, then we made our way to TonDC where we ran into Indra."

Of course Lexa sacrificed herself to ensure Tyler's safety and Clarke was happy that she did because knowing Tyler was safe again meant a lot to her. But Clarke wished there had been an opportunity for the both of them to escape, so that Lexa was here safely and she didn't have to worry anymore. No doubt this woman, Otta, knew what she was doing and the only thing she hadn't accounted for was Prince Roan roaming around in the woods. Lexa had done well keeping that a secret.

"Who is this woman exactly?" Clarke asked.

Anya looked at her "she used to be the head of the guard, entrusted to protect the city."

Clarke felt her eyes widen, someone with such an important role must have had Lexa's trust, otherwise she wouldn't have been given the role of head guard. It must hurt to be captured by the woman she once trusted with the safety of Polis. Clarke thinks that Otta probably also played a part in Nia taking control of Polis. She could have looked the other way while Nia snuck her people into the city. It made sense at least.

Why were all these people so keen on betraying Lexa, had rescuing her people from the mountain really caused so much division between the clans? Did it really weigh this heavy to chose the safety of her people over going into a war and lose even more people during that war? Clarke knew by now that the grounders knew only war, it was their way and Lexa was going against it and aiming for change. Lexa must have known the decision would have had consequences and yet she chose to take Emerson's deal anyway. Change takes time, something Lexa knew better than anyone. But once this is over, Clarke will do anything in her power to help Lexa achieve peace among her people, their people.

"She is a brilliant strategist and a more than formidable warrior, it will be next to impossible now to get to Heda before they reach the city." Indra said.

"That's why I need you to find Keara and give her this." Anya said, handing a scroll to Indra.

Indra raised an eyebrow. "Are you certain?"

"Yes. Even if Keara manages to find them, we will never be able to mobilize enough people to free Heda. We need to focus on our plans to attack Nia now. "

"You would risk Heda's life?" Indra still wasn't convinced and to be completely honest with herself, neither was Clarke.

"We both know that Nia didn't have Heda captured just so that she can kill her the moment she arrives. Nia is a sadistic and ruthless woman, she would want Heda to suffer in front of her people before finally killing her. And I do not like that thought anymore than you do, but Heda is strong and I know for a fact this is what she would want us to do, we must have what's best for our people in mind too."

Anya was right but oh how Clarke hated it and from the scowl on Indra's face so did she. She looked up when a comforting had landed on her shoulder.

"Heda is strong, Clarke. No matter what she will face there, she will come out of it stronger and our people will finally know peace." Kensi said in comfort.

Clarke rubbed her forehead, this was a lot to take in, nevertheless Kensi was right. Lexa is a skilled warrior, she's smart and Clarke knows that Lexa would do anything in her power to free Polis and her people. Still, the thought of Lexa being a prisoner send shivers down her spine. This sacrifice might be the biggest one she ever made for her people and it pains Clarke knowing that can't do anything to help her right now.

"Okay, you're right. But if she dies, I will kill her." Clarke said, Anya smirked but nodded and turned to Indra.

"Go, Indra, send word to Keara then report back to me."

Indra left the room without another word and the moment the door closed, Tys spoke.

"It is time to end this war, Anya, too many people have already turned their backs to the Commander, Vern, Otta and Rylan must be the last, once Nia's poisonous tongue is silenced-"

"There will eventually be another. It's an ongoing cycle, Tys, you know this. There will always be power hungry people. Maybe not now, but one day someone else's thirst for power will cause problems. The world ended a hundred years ago and humankind did not learn from it, never will."

Anya's words couldn't be more to the truth. There will always be struggle for power, there has been here on earth after the bombs, but on the Ark people have fought for control as well. Some do it because it is what they think is best for their people, others do it because they have a hunger for power that needs to be satiated. All they could do now was fight the war that Nia so desperately wanted on their terms and then start the long road of reuniting the clans.

Another shiver rolled down her back when she couldn't stop herself from thinking what would happen to Lexa while being Nia's prisoner and she hated herself for letting her thoughts drift off like that again. But Kensi was right, Lexa is a strong woman, no matter what Nia will do to her, she will endure it until Clarke would be there soon to free her. They will win this, Nia will die and Clarke will see Lexa again.


The piercing pain in her shoulder was the first thing Lexa noticed when waking up. The cut there was deep but the true cause of the pain right now was from being chained with her hands above her head and knees hanging a few inches from the floor. There was no doubt in her mind this was done to make her suffer.

The second wave of pain followed the moment her eyes opened, a throbbing pain in her head made itself known as a result from the blow that had knocked her out. Part of her face was probably bruised because of it, just as she knew her ribs would be. Lexa also knew that whatever injuries she had right now, it was nothing compared to what Nia will have in store for her. The moment she saw Otta standing in front of her with a knife at Tyler's throat she knew this would happen. And when she knew TonDC was being attacked as a distraction to capture her, she knew Anya and Indra would protect the village. She also knew that Anya would continue the plans they had set in motion without her. The safety of her people comes before her own safety, though Anya will have a lot of difficulty accepting that.

Lexa could only imagine what the people of Polis had been through since Nia took control. Seizing Polis had no doubt caused many of its citizens to resist her rule and there were so many awful things Lexa knew she did to those people to make sure everyone fell in line and would bow to her. Anger boiled in her chest at the thought, Lexa was done fighting wars, she was done with Nia and she would make sure to find a way out of this situation, Nia had not won just yet.

Voices sounded from the distance and were slowly coming closer, Lexa looked up to see where exactly she was, while biting away the pain it caused in her shoulder she recognizer her accommodations to be the prison below the tower in Polis. Lexa half expected to be outside in the city Square for everyone to see her suffer, but just because she wasn't there now, didn't mean she was going to end up there eventually. A large basin of water stood against the wall in front of her, next to the door that had been locked with three different chains. The message in it was clear, there was no way possible for Lexa to escape, even if by some miracle she managed to get out of the chains above her head.

The voices were near enough now for Lexa to recognize them, it was Rylan and Ontari and from the nearing footsteps she could hear they were accompanied by a handful of guards. Only a few moments later they walked around the corner and stood outside the door, one of the guards opened the door, Rylan immediately moved to walk inside, but Ontari reached for his arm and stopped him.

"You have until I return and remember what the Queen told you." He nodded in confirmation but his eyes were locked on Lexa and she did the same.

The moment he stepped inside the door closed again, four guards remained at the door, two on the inside and two on the outside. Her eyes shifted to Ontari for a moment but the young woman seemed to have no interest in her for now, her mind preoccupied with something else before she disappeared from sight. It didn't go unnoticed to Lexa though that she had a bandage covering her eye, which she didn't have during the attack on Arkadia and as she wasn't injured during the attack, Lexa had a pretty good guess what had been done to her. Regardless, Lexa held no pity for her, growing up in Nia's shadow has made her who she is now, she expects Ontari wouldn't want her pity anyways.

Slowly she allowed her eyes to shift back to Rylan, who simply stood before her, arms folded together and his eyes roaming up and down her body with an intent in them she could not yet decipher. If it was to intimidate he would have to do a lot better than he is now, Lexa had been faced with foe's far worse and even though he was at an advantage with her being chained, he is a farmer, not a fighter. If he were to hit her, she doubts his punches would carry enough speed or power to truly harm her.

"I've been looking forward to this day for so long." There was a slight hint of anger in his voice.

The guards at the door remained still, their focus on Lexa in case she would try something. Lexa knew there was nothing she could do though, not with her hands chained. That didn't mean she wasn't thinking of possible ways to slowly and painfully kill her fallen friend.

"Who is he?" Her question caught him of guard, a flash of confusion ran over his face.

"What?"

"The boy you claimed to be your son, who is he really?"

He looked away then, his eyes more interested in the wall behind her for a few moments before facing her again.

"He is nothing more than leverage for the Queen to ensure success."

Lexa had heard him say something like that right before Tyler's escape. The sudden thought of the boy made her briefly close her eyes, hoping that Roan's people had found him and that he was safe and sound. She did not allow herself to dwell more on this.

"A leader in need of leverage, over a baby boy no less, is weak and does not deserve to lead or the loyalty of her warriors." She knew her words were fruitless to him but she said them anyways, if only to hope they have impact on the guards with them.

"I don't care, the Queen at least appreciates what I've done for our people, something you do not." He sneered at her.

"And what have you done for our people other than causing another war?" He slightly flinched at her words, but quickly composed himself.

"There will be no war once you die, I have given the Queen the same maps I gave you and in return she will give me leadership over what remains of Trikru."

Lexa could barely contain her laughter. "You? A farmer, in charge of an entire Clan? You do not even know how to fight." the mockery in her voice was more than obvious.

"I deserve this." he yelled at her, pointing a finger at her in warning. "I gave you those maps and what did I get in return? An extension of my land and some extra horses. I deserved more, I deserved a place at your council."

He was fuming by now, anger taking over. With each word he took a step forward, Lexa wasn't sure if he even noticed but he was only a few meters away from her now. The guards had noticed this and closed in as well.

Lexa remained calm and did not go along with his anger. "You told me your wife wanted to stay at the farm." she knew saying that would probably anger him even more, Lexa wanted to test how far she could go before he would lose control.

"My wife is dead!"

His face almost turned beet red from anger now and with his outburst the distance between them was gone, he towered over her kneeling figure, his chest heaving and the hand aimed at her was now balled into a fist.

"Dead because reapers decided to raid our farm, normally they never got this close but you… " his eyes shifted to her shoulder, a split second later he put pressure on it with his hand and Lexa hissed through the pain. "You just had to make an Alliance with Skaikru to destroy the mountain."

The Commander did her best to ignore the pain and was sure to look him in the eyes before she spoke.

"I've heard a lot of people blaming me for what happened to them, but this sounds more like an excuse to use the death of your wife to cover up your greed for power."

A mere second after she said this his other hand collided with her already bruised ribs. Lexa coughed the pain away but knew she was right earlier, he did not hit very hard, it was only because her ribs were already bruised that she felt the impact of the punch more than she should have.

"The Queen said you were not to harm her, step away from the prisoner." One of the guards said and grabbed Rylan by the bicep to make his point.

Rylan shook his arm free but stepped away from Lexa, the anger slightly subsiding.

"You are lucky the Queen and Ontari want the pleasure of making you suffer for themselves, I guess I will have to accept that I can be there to watch."

Lexa didn't even feel the slightest bit intimidated. "And you, should consider if the Queen will actually keep her word to you now that she has the maps and me, I would run if I were you, because if she will not kill you, I certainly will."

This time it was his turn to laugh. "You are delusional if you think you will get out of this alive, Lexa."

Lexa didn't say anything in return, she only kept her eyes locked on Rylan, the expression on her face blank. It was almost as if they were in a staring contest for a few moments before Rylan eventually turned away and motioned for the guards to open the door.

"We are done here, enjoy your fight while it lasts."

Lexa knew she would, especially the moment where Rylan draws his final breath.


Ontari stood at the cave entrance, a hood covered her face and she was leaning against the wall, hidden in the shadows of the cave until her contact arrived, which should be anytime now. The Queen did not know she was here, no one did except for Toro, who was covering for her while she was here. Even though things were going as planned, Ontari knew not to be as confident about winning this war as the Queen was. If it were up to her they'd kill the Commander now, which would highly increase their chances on winning. But it was not what the Queen wanted. She wanted to posture, torture the Commander and send a message to her supporters before the Queen eventually decides to end that woman's miserable life.

It was a bad idea, it gives the Commander's allies time to come up with a plan and try to get the Commander back. But the Queen is over confident with a lot of things, she thinks she holds the cards and now that the Commander is in their custody there is no way anymore to lose this war. It's true their army in numbers is larger than that of the Commander, but that didn't always mean the war was won. So even though the Queen would not permit it, Ontari knew she had to consider the fact that they could end up losing this war and if that happened she needed a backup plan.

Her eyes shot up when she caught movement in the distance. A slim hooded figure emerged from the trees and quickly made their way into the cave, once inside the boy lowered his hood and looked around the cave, not able to spot Ontari standing hidden in the shadows.

"O-Ontari?" the boy spoke nervously.

"Were you followed?" She asked but remained in the shadows.

It startled him and the nervous look on his face increased when he still couldn't see her.

"N-no, I am small, the scouts know not to… not look f-for a boy." He put his hands in the pockets of his pants and shuffled his feet around while he looked down, afraid to look anywhere else in fear of looking her straight in the eyes.

Ontari decided to step out of the shadows, the boy took a few paces back, his eyes still more interested in the muddy ground of the cave.

"Look at me, boy." He immediately did. "Hide your fear, it is a weakness your enemies will exploit."

Despite nodding at her words he failed miserably at hiding his fear. It made her feel good at least that she could still instill fear into people, she didn't care that he was only a boy.

"Is it done?"

"Yes, this morning."

"You are certain no one knows?" the boy nodded.

"No one knows, not even the council, no one saw us." His answer was a relief for her. No one could know, not the Azgeda council, not the Queen, not even Toro.

Though Toro was covering for her absence, he did not know what exactly she was doing. All she had told him she was ensuring a backup plan in case things were wrong. Toro is loyal and knows not to doubt or question her, so he was more than happy to cover for her.

"But the Trikru lady was not happy." His words were not surprising at all.

"Did you tell her what will happen to her father if she does not cooperate?" She asked him.

"I did, she was not happy about that either, but she said to tell you she will do as you ask and will not tell anyone. Not for you but because she does not want Queen Nia to know either."

Ontari scoffed at that. "Of course she said that, I did not expect less of a woman like her. Go back and make sure she has everything she needs, return here in ten days."

She stepped back into the shadows, watching how the boy nodded at her and then scurried out of the cave. She watched until he disappeared into the trees, now it was time to head back and pay the Commander an overdue visit. She wasn't that bothered anymore in failing to kill her months ago, having to torture her, being able to make her suffer was so much more satisfying and she was actually thankful to the Queen for changing their plans.

After taking a few more turns she was back inside the prison and taking one more left turn caused her to stand face to face with the Commander, the door of the prison their only obstacle. The Commander already had her eyes locked on her and Ontari greeted her with a smile. She might not have agreed with using the Commander as an example, that didn't mean she wasn't going to enjoy this and she was looking forward to hear the Commander beg for mercy.


"You were lucky, Senho, the blade missed your spleen with barely an inch, you would have bled to death before the scouts found you."

Clarke stood at Senho's bed, where he was recovering from the surgery her mother had performed on him moments ago. Indra's search party had found and brought him back to TonDC, her mother said that if they arrived minutes later he would have died. He was still weak of course, but Abby had guaranteed a full recovery.

"Vern always… always had bad aim, even from… closeby… " Sensho said

"And I will be forever grateful for that." Clarke said.

Senho chuckled, then coughed from the pain it caused. "Sorry, I should leave you to rest."

"Yes you should." Abby stepped next to Clarke, a stern look on her face. "You lost a lot of blood, it will take a long time to recover, get some sleep."

"Sha, Abi kom Skaikru, mochof."

"You're welcome."

Mother and daughter left him to rest and walked outside, the weather was cold and it had been raining all morning, Clarke wanted to tuck her hands in the pockets of her coat but her mother reached for them, carefully inspecting her damaged knuckles from the fighting yesterday.

"Did you clean those?"

"Yes."

Abby pointed to the cut at her cheek. "And that one."

Clarke did her best not to roll her eyes. "Yes, and I also cleaned the cuts on my arm and made sure to ice my ribs, I'm fine mom."

Abby meant to say something but opted to remain silent and looked away. To Clarke it was clear there was something on her mind, she looked tired from working through the night, but also worried.

"Mom, please tell me if something's wrong." She reached for her mother's hand.

Abby looked back at her, she quickly wiped away a tear that had escaped her eye but nodded at her daughter.

"I'm sorry, Clarke. I'm just trying to wrap my head around the fact that a few months ago you were locked in a cell awaiting execution because of me. I thought the only chance at survival for you was to be send to the ground, that you would be safe there. But here we are, awaiting a war that we might not win and you will be in the middle of it and there is nothing I can do about it because you've grown in such a strong and wonderful young woman. But you are still my child and I worry so much about you, about your safety."

The only thing she could do was pull her mother into a hug and hold her tightly. Clarke didn't know what it's like to be a mom, she had a slight idea though, considering how badly she'd been worrying for Tyler, but she understood where her mother was coming from. There was guilt for the death of her father, while deep down Clarke knew that her mother only did what she thought was right, she wasn't ready to forgive her for it just yet. But she loves her mother just as much as her mother loves her. They are still family, still made of the same blood and she too wished she didn't have to do this, but this was the present, this was reality now and there was nothing either of them could do about it.

"I know, mom, and I'm sorry you have to see me like this." she gently pushed away from her mother. "But we will win this war and then we can only hope things will settle down and we can take our place among the Trikru."

Surprised by her own words, Clarke stepped away from her mother, her eyes slightly widened in shock. Abby still hadn't decided on Lexa's offer to join the Trikru and the last thing she wanted to do was pressure her mother into making the decision to join the Trikru. The surprise on her face didn't look like it surprised her mother, who placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"It's alright, Clarke, you don't have to worry anymore. While I still don't agree with everything that the Trikru do, the alternative is worse and it's something I will manage to deal with over time. That and the fact that I don't want to lose my daughter because I love her very much and I want to fuzz and worry over her as much as I can."

The two women hugged again, this one lasted a fair bit longer than the previous hug and they only let go at the sound of someone clearing his throat. They parted and spotted King Roan standing with his hands behind his back, expression calm but one corner of his mouth slightly tipped into a smirk.

"I apologize for interrupting-" his eyes studied them both quickly, before he continued. "This mother, daughter bonding, but I wondering if I could have a moment of your time, Clarke kom Skaikru?"

Clarke thought that maybe there was the tiniest hint of envy in his voice, she suspected it was due to Clarke and her mother getting along, something he probably could not relate to. After all, he was here, offering his support to Lexa and her people and not to his mother.

"Of course." Abby said and turned to her daughter before she walked away. "I'll see you later."

Clarke nodded and watched her mother briefly before she turned to the Prince. "What can I do for you, Prince Roan?"

"First of all, I would like to thank you."

Clarke frowned. "What for?"

"For ending the threat of the mountain. That place has cast a shadow over our people for too long." he clarified.

If she had met him months ago, Clarke would have felt uncomfortable at the Prince's words. While it still wounded her that she had killed innocents with her actions, there was a bandage over that wound now and she understood what her actions at the mountain had meant to the Grounders.

"Some credit should also go to the Commander." she said. And she meant it, she was over the pain Lexa's decision had caused her.

"I have thanked her as well. And now that I have thanked you, I would also like to apologize for what my mother did to your people. She has shamed us all by cooperating with the last mounon and I assure you it is not what my people stand for. Her greed for power has cast a shadow over my people that I seek to change."

"And I already appreciate your effort, Prince Roan, even though we just met. I will indulge you on the apology and accept it, though in my eyes there is no need for one."

She saw him struggle to fight the surprise her words caused, it faded quickly but she noticed it nonetheless.

"My mother has spread words among my people about you. Dangerous, evil, weak and without honor. I am a man who draws his own conclusions about someone, no matter what others may say and I am glad you contradict every single lie my mother has spread about you, though I'm not surprised by that at all. She would say anything if it would benefit herself."

Clarke nodded at him. She wasn't sure what to think about him when she first met him, but it was clear he was nothing like his mother. It made her wonder if it was difficult for him to go into a war against his own mother. Though, if Nia had been as selfish and hungry for power all her life, she can't imagine there is a lot of love between them. It suddenly made her appreciate her relationship with her own mother a lot more and she was glad they were trying to mend it.

"Then let me also thank you, Prince Roan. For saving Tyler's life."

She was a million times grateful, but it was best to keep her emotions at bay. Which made her smile inwardly, a trait she had picked up from Lexa no doubt because she was certain she wouldn't have been able to do that a few months ago.

Roan nodded. "He is a brave boy and will no doubt make a strong warrior someday."

Clarke chuckled. "Yes, that's what he already tells us he wants to be and I have no doubt he will either."

A silence fell between them and Clarke could see the Prince was struggling to say something.

"I'm sorry to be so blunt, Prince Roan, but something is clearly on your mind."

He cleared his throat, his expression blank but he gave her a nod.

"Anya told me that Heda has offered those who remain of your people to join Trikru. I strongly believe that we will defeat my mother in this war and that the Kongeda will be restored-"

Clarke waited for him to continue.

"Far be it for me to judge Heda's decision, but as I said before, I am a man who would like to judge a person on his own experience and as I will be going to war with some of your people, I would like to get to know them first and want to let you know that I will be initiating some conversations with some of them."

He put emphasis on the fact that he wasn't asking her for permission but rather let her know his intentions up front, than that she was possibly hearing about this afterwards from the people he talked to.

Clarke appreciated his approach. "By all means."

She understood that Skaikru are an unknown entity and that he wanted to understand and get to know the people who were going to fight at his side. If Clarke were in his position she would do the same. It works both ways too, this way her people could touch base with Roan as well. From their brief interactions so far, Clarke knew she already liked him better than Nia, even though she had never met the Ice Queen.

"Thank you, Wanheda, it was a pleasure to meet you." he nodded at her.

Clarke nodded back. "And you too, Prince Roan."

She watched him walk into the direction of the blacksmith and Clarke smiled a bit, if he was going to start with Raven, he would be in for a surprise.


Breathing was becoming an obstacle everytime they pulled her head from the basin of water. Instead there was a constant of coughing up water, gasping for air and spitting blood. Lexa had lost track of time, it could have been a few hours, days or maybe weeks, she really had no idea. All she knew was that this was the fourth time Ontari and Otta had unshackled her and started the round of torture. Otta would stand at the entrance of her cell and Ontari was inflicting punches and kicks while two of Ontari's warriors would put her head in and out of the water basin.

Just as Lexa thought they were giving her some time to breathe, Ontari gave another order and her head disappeared under water again. It caused her to swallow a large amount of water, her lungs burned from the pain and another gulp of water filled her lungs when Ontari's boot connected with her ribs again. Immediately her head was pulled out of the water and Ontari's fist collided with her jaw. Her head throbbed, her ribs ached from the constant beating they had received. Her lungs felt like they would collapse any second now and a wave of relief that she tried to hide washed over her when Ontari ordered her warriors to release her.

Lexa hit the floor with a grunt, her breathing hoarse and shallow. She coughed until she tasted blood and was glad to be given some moments to recover. She knew they had to, Ontari had not been holding back but she knew that Nia was not even close to finished yet. Spending an amount of time torturing and then heal the subject back up was one of Nia's favorite torture techniques, it would give her more time to make Lexa suffer.

"Feel free to beg for mercy, I might listen."

Somewhere, from a distance, Ontari's words echoed through her head. Lexa would do no such thing, she'd rather die. Also, it would take a lot more than that for Lexa to even, maybe, possibly consider it. Part of becoming a Commander is being taught to resist torture, some of the ordeals she had to go through during her training were far worse than this.

"Hmm, shame." Ontari said after a few beats of silence. "I guess we will have improve our efforts."

Lexa felt herself being lifted, fingers pressed into her arms as they dragged her back to the water basin. Every body part ached in the process, her shoulder the most.

"Nia approaches." Otta said and Lexa might have heard what could be footsteps approaching.

Instead of her head disappearing into the water again, she was forced on her knees, hands digging into her shoulders to ensure she would stay that way. Lexa hissed from the pain it caused in her injured shoulder. There really was no need, there was nowhere for her to go and even if she did consider escaping, she would be unable to take on Otta and Ontari in her current state. Besides, doing so now, with Nia and no doubt a couple of guards approaching, would be terrible timing from her part.

Otta stepped aside and not much later Nia came into view, dressed in black leather pants and a dark grey long sleeved shirt covered in thick furs and she carried a smirk on her face that Lexa was more than happy to get rid of. Nia was greeted with a bow and recognition of her title, but Lexa was quite sure she didn't hear it, Nia's focus was reserved for her alone, unfortunately.

"I like this look on you, Lexa, it's an improvement from last time we saw each other."

The last time she saw Nia was during the ceremony of Azgeda joining the Kongeda. With the death of Costia, Nia had hoped she had made Lexa angry enough to go to war with her, she still remembered the look on Nia's face when Lexa had put her into a position where she could only accept to join the Kongeda and she didn't have to spill a single drop of blood for it. She had made the right political maneuvers and Nia had no choice but to accept. Ever since that moment Nia had not set foot in Trikru lands again and instead had the Azgeda ambassador do all the work.

It had not been easy to do that, it took everything Lexa had not to get revenge. But from the moment she became Heda, Lexa had put her people first. Just as she had done at the mountain. Costia knew this and now Clarke as well, but Lexa would do everything in her power to prevent Clarke from suffering the same fate.

Nia approached her, then placed a finger under her chin to make her look directly at her.

"You poor thing," she said in an attempt to belittle Lexa. "I bet that you held the illusion never to be in a position to kneel before me."

Lexa chose to remain silent again, Nia continued pushing her buttons in an attempt to get a reaction.

"I heard many of your novitiates died." Those words hurt more than any of the torture Ontari had inflicted and Lexa had to fight to not let it show.

"And that they died quite horrifically." Nia continued, there was no doubt in Lexa's mind that Rylan told her that. She kept her lips pressed together and released a faint growl at the thought of her old friend, Nia noticed.

"Ah, so there is some spirit left in you after all." She continued to belittle her.

More than plenty, Lexa thought but kept it to herself. She felt sick to her stomach for being in this position, on her knees in front of Nia, but she will not give in to the rage that was slowly settling in the pit of her stomach, special kind of rage which she had reserved for Nia alone.

"I also heard, that you have not learned from your mistakes regarding Costia and that you have fallen in love again." Nia lifted her head up even more, ensuring that their eyes were locked together and she couldn't look away. "I will do to Wanheda, what I did to Costia, and when I am done with her, I will take the power of Wanheda. The only difference this time compared to Costia is that I will let you watch as your loved one suffers, so do not worry, little Lexa, you will not be dead for a long time."

Nia stepped away and Lexa took the opportunity to look away, and did her best to not let Nia's words stir the anger inside of her, instead she put it aside, locked it away in a box that she knew she would be able to open at some point. Her plan to let Lexa live and suffer will backfire, Lexa was sure of it.

Nia turned to Otta. "Put her back into the chains, she can suffer some more tonight. Then have a healer tend to her injuries in the morning."

"Sha, plana Nia."

Otta stepped aside to let Nia pass, Ontari and her warriors close behind. Lexa didn't object when Otta dragged her back and then Lexa found herself chained again, feet hanging inches from the floor and her body already objecting to the pain it was causing, mostly to her ribs and her shoulders.

Otta looked at her and spoke. "Do not worry, Lexa, soon you will be outside, reunited with your people, den oso na sin em spoka ona yu blinka gonot raun. " then we will see that spark in your eyes fade away.

Lexa kept her eyes locked on Otta, she watched as her fallen Guard Captain left the cell and closed the door, a smirk on her face. Lexa didn't say anything, though tried to make the message in her eyes clear as possible, no matter what Nia would do to her, her spirit can not be broken. Otta read the message more than clear and nodded, the smirk on her face only increased.

"We shall see." she said and then walked away. "We shall see."

Finally, when Otta was out of sight she looked away and sighed. It was going to be a long and painful road before she had any chance of survival.

"I have watched you, Heda."

Lexa blinked, was she starting to hear voices, because that definitely wasn't Otta's voice? Until now she thought she was alone, but she was brought in here unconscious and there wasn't really reason for her to scan the cell looking for others, it also is not really something you think about while being tortured.

"I have watched and tried, tried to enjoy the suffering that was being inflicted on you."

She was quite certain now that she wasn't imagining things, there was another woman with her in this cell. Lexa tried to crane her neck, but instantly regretted it from the pain it caused.

"Who are you?"

"You will figure it out." she said. "No matter how hard I tried, I could not enjoy it, because it is not who I am and it is not who I wish to become. Nia carries enough arrogance and resentment for all of us."

Silence followed, Lexa could ask again who this woman was but the woman will not tell her unless Lexa would figure it out for herself, so she waited, knowing that the woman wasn't done with her story yet.

"And I know that you acted on the information you had and that my father sacrificed himself for his family. It hurts still, knowing that he is no longer among us, but you showed you are a woman of honor when you returned his body to us intact."

Lexa closed her eyes and sighed, she deserved to be berated by this woman. She was played by Nia and Rylan all those months ago and Duran had paid for it. He allowed Lexa to kill him so that he could protect his family, but why exactly she wasn't sure about yet, though she had her suspicions.

"Words cannot describe how much I've wronged you, Dasar, I deeply regret this." Lexa licked her lips. "Nothing I do or say will even begin to make up for my mistake, but I ensure you and your people that I will try till my dying breath."

Dasar snorted. "How would you do that Heda, while you are here, chained in one of your own dungeons?"

Dasar was his daughter, meant to be Duran's successor after his death. She was a good choice, she knew the meaning of both strength and honor.

"How? I am not sure yet. But I will not give up hope, nor should you."

Another snort sounded. "What makes you think I have."

By the way she speaks alone was answer enough, Dasar's voice was weak and hoarse. But mostly without hope. Lexa was quite certain that what had been done to her, was only half of what had been done to Dasar.

"The sound of your voice is answer enough. Tell me, Dasar, what forced Duran to sacrifice himself, instead of giving up Rylan."

By now, Lexa had put a few dots together, and probably knew what her answer would be, still, she preferred to hear it from Dasar.

"My son, Heda. My father was out, taking him to our spirit watcher to get his blessing. I had gotten sick after my son was born and was unable to go myself. But my father never made it to the spirit watcher, he was ambushed and they took my son and forced my father to do their bidding or my son would die."

Delfikru were the only people in the Kongeda who had a spirit watcher, it is their believe that a blessing from the spirit watcher will bring good fortune to their newborn children. Lexa herself does not believe the blessing of such a person should be responsible for the future of a newborn child, but she respected their believes.

Unfortunately, Duran never made it to the spirit watcher, but she nodded to herself and understood what Duran had done. Lexa would have made a similar sacrifice, were she in his shoes. She knew the feeling, the will to sacrifice for the good of a child, or in her case, for her people. But she had anticipated this answer, it explains why Rylan had been so insecure around the baby boy and he had already admitted to Lexa that he was not his son.

She shifted slightly, moving the weight of her body more to her injured shoulder, it hurt, but it eased the pain in her tried to crane her neck again, to at least try and get a glance of the woman behind her.

"Don't bother, Heda, I am left for dead in a dark corner of this cell," she coughed and then continued, "Nia has had her fun with me, it is your turn now. Though sometimes a guard comes to bring me water. I don't want to drink it, but he leaves me no choice. I like to think it is because he wants to help me, but no doubt it is an order from Nia to prolong my suffering."

It pained Lexa to hear that Dasar had given up hope, but if the weakness in her voice was any indication on how bad her condition was, she could not blame her. Nia's intentions on torture are to break the spirit of a person, once successful, she will extend their suffering for as long as she wants. Something Dasar clearly is experiencing right now. It was yet another reason why it was time for Nia's fight to end, no matter what happened or what the Ice Queen would do to her, Lexa will not give up.

"How did Nia capture you?" Lexa asked her.

"After your scouts brought back my father's body, one of them, Vern I believe, gave me a note. I had to go to Polis within five days or my son would die. So I went, but I very much doubt he is alive now." she said softly.

"He is." Lexa said.

"Heda?"

"Your son is alive, Dasar. Rylan used him, kept him close and claimed it was his own son. While I was being brought to Polis, Rylan was in disagreement with Otta because her people had been unable to extract him from TonDC and he needed the boy for leverage of you. So I am more than certain he lives and is being taken care of by the people in TonDC."

It was quiet for a while and then Lexa her a few faint sobs, followed by what she figured was a sigh of relief. "You see, Dasar, that is reason enough for you to not give up hope because he needs his mother to take care of him."

"I am not sure what good I can do for him with only one eye and three fingers. And I am certain one of my legs is no longer functioning anymore."

"All the boy requires is the beating of your heart."

"I am not sure I believe that is enough."

"There are people out there, who support me and hate Nia as much as we do. Trust that they will find a way to get us out of here."

But Lexa's words seemed to fall on deaf ears, Dasar had decided to stop talking. But Lexa knew her people were out there, setting a plan in motion in an attempt to find and free her. She also knew that Clarke would not give up on her and the thought of the blonde alone was enough to soothe the pain in her body. Lexa will keep faith and she knew she was going to get out of this alive, for Clarke gives her all the power in the world to fight. Lexa does not only fight for her people anymore, but also for Clarke. She knew for a fact now that love was not weakness, but a force strong enough to fight for.


Thanks for reading!

Laudnes en seingeda - Pain and family