January 10th, 2028
Rose had spent the past ten minutes running the simulation in her head, while she waited in line.
'Good morning, I'd like a cup of coffee so strong that it'll melt my oesophagus,' she'd say.
'Sure thing, dear,' they'd say.
She'd then walk away with a cup of coffee that was as hot as hell and as stiff as death.
Mission accomplished.
Unfortunately, Reality had a way of ruining things like that: when it was finally her turn, Rose only managed to get out, "Good morning, I'd like" before It intervened.
"Blueberry Latte Girl!" The cute, silver haired barista who had recently started working at St. Mungo's cafeteria gave her a smile. "I got you!"
'No, you don't!' , she wanted to scream.
"Uh… hmm… okay?" was what she stuttered instead, like the idiot she was.
The girl's dazzling smile was so bright that Rose's first impulse was to shield her eyes from it. The best she could muster though was beaming back, because, somehow, it seemed like the only reasonable option under the circumstances.
What the hell was wrong with her?!
She would just firmly and politely correct her and-
"Haven't seen you around lately," Cute Barista said, as she floated a single blueberry muffin onto her tray. "Christmas holidays?"
That was when all remaining bits of Rose's resolve simultaneously keeled over and died.
Lattes and muffins be damned. Cute Barista had noticed her absence. Cute barista cared.
"Shivers," Rose said, shrugging helplessly. "House arrest."
"You say house arrest, I say holidays!" The barista winked and scurried off to pick her latte. "You lot work too hard anyway." She gave her wand a few flicks and charmed the foam into a pumping heart that exploded into a million frothy bubbles every few seconds. "There you go."
Rose stared at it for a few seconds.
It was adorable.
She met the barista's smile before picking up the tray and retreating to the safety of her table, where Jesse Boot was waving at her.
"So today's still not the day, is it?" Jesse asked, pulling his tray closer to him to make room for hers.
"Nope." Rose placed the tray on the table, eyeing its contents with aversion. "They're all so nice."
Not only that, they were indoctrinating the new hires in their rotten thoughtfulness as well. Cute Barista had hardly been here for a month and she already knew her as 'Blueberry Latte Girl'.
She took a defeated sip off the watery, pitiful excuse for a coffee. A shudder crept up her spine as the sweet goop slogged down her throat.
Urgh.
It was still as horrible as the day before. And the day before that. And the day before the day before that. And…
You get the picture.
"Give it here." Jesse gave her a pitying look as he took the muffin and the latte from her hands like he did every single time. "Why don't you just tell them? It's a breakfast order, not a personal insult."
She couldn't, really.
"Don't start with me, Boot," Rose groaned, burying her face in her hands. "It's too early."
"She won't die if you tell her you want that nice, fluffy banana bread instead."
"But I don't want that nice, fluffy banana bread either!"
"I might," Jesse grumbled, though not unkindly. "I'm sick and tired of blueberry muffins."
Rose's grim gaze met Jesse's earnest blue eyes and she scowled.
"I kid, I kid. Here, before you bite my head off," Jesse said, picking up the piping hot mug of coffee in front of him and handing it to her. "It's just so absurd."
Her eager hands took the mug from him, grasping it as if it were her first born.
"What's absurd?"
"The fact that one minute you can look at me like I'm beneath the vile worms that turn bodies into compost and the next you're too embarrassed to tell a barista you'd like a coffee to go."
"I'm not embarrassed and sometimes you're just insufferable," Rose grumbled, taking a sip from the coffee. Sweet Circe, that was good. "Mrs. Knight and the rest of them aren't."
"In my book they are," Jesse said, his nose wrinkling as he took a bite from the muffin. "A particularly insidious, low-key sort of bully. Preying on innocent victims and stuffing them full of lattes and blueberry muffins."
It wasn't any of their fault, really. The very first day of her internship Rose had turned up, fresh faced and bright eyed and had gingerly and painstakingly picked a latte and blueberry muffin from the endless menu. She had felt like a grown-up and so she'd ordered what she thought a grown-up Rose might order.
It had all been for the aesthetic really.
The next day Mrs. Knight had remembered her and her order. Rose had felt so pleased and validated that she had said yes, of course she wanted another latte and sodding muffin.
Cut to three and a half years later and this was the result.
What was she supposed to do now, tell them that she hated lattes and muffins? After all this time?
Not a snowflake's chance in hell.
Jesse eyed her for a few seconds and wisely changed the topic. "How are you doing for Bites? Did you get my notes?"
Ah yes, the Dangerous Bites exam from hell that Healer Hodge was gracing them with next week. It wasn't enough that they had the residency every day for eight hours, no, they still had to keep up with Egypt's Ancient Myths and their stingy, chompy bits.
'It gets better' , they'd said.
'You'll remember the residency as the best time of your life' , they'd said.
They were bloody liars, that's what they were.
"Lily brought them over. If I don't sleep for the next few days I might just pull it out of my ass," Rose said, rolling her eyes. "You're not looking concerned. Why are you not looking concerned?"
Maybe because Jesse Boot was the sort of balanced person who slept every day, even if he just took a nap. Jesse Boot was also the kind of balanced person who was capable of saying 'no' when asked to take an extra graveyard shift, or extra paperwork, whereas she...
Let's just say if Hodge asked her to learn the can-can and perform it on her underwear in front of all of St. Mungo's staff, Rose would have just asked what colour he'd like her knickers to be.
"While you were gone, I've been pursuing some interesting rumours about... Hodge slacking off with fourth years," Jesse said, lowering his voice. "According to Pogey, who took fourth year Bites two years in a row, both years' questions were very... similar. After I cross referenced it with a few older Healers, the conclusion I've reached is that yes, dear old Hodge has in fact been recycling exam questions."
Rose stared at him for a few seconds. She blinked once. "Are you telling me..."
"Yep ." He gave her a smug look as he downed half the latte. "Those notes I gave you are very, very specific."
"You've got to be kidding me."
"I shit you not, my dear," Jesse said, leaning back against his chair and throwing her a beatific smile. "You might be able to get some sleep after all."
"And you're only telling me this now, why?" Rose didn't know if she should laugh or cry. "It's the best news I've had all year!"
"It's hardly a triumph, considering the year started ten days ago and you've been sick and locked up with that prat for the duration of it," Jesse pointed out drily. Apparently Jesse was as fond of Scorp as Scorp was of Jesse after the Shivers debacle. "Plus, I wanted you to take it easy for a few days, rather than obsess about your proposal."
Because studying took her mind off it. It was so thoughtful and convoluted that Rose found herself staring at him for a couple of seconds, not knowing what to say.
"Yes, yes, you love me." Jesse pushed his glasses further up his nose, his face turning an interesting shade of beet red with embarrassment at his own joke. "It's good to have you back, y'know? Without you around to keep her in check, Penny's been ten times more obnoxious."
"You could just tell her to fuck off," Rose suggested, a small smile on her face.
"You could just tell Cute Barista you want a coffee, black as your soul," Jesse said, rolling his eyes. "But none of those things are going to happen anytime soon, are they?"
Rose hummed under her breath as she made her way to her Magical Bugs rotation. Two weeks of being home had left her feeling rested and refreshed and the breakfast with Jesse had somehow only intensified that spark of… wellness. It was a pleasant, albeit completely alien feeling. That along with the news that Hodge was lazing with the exam questions... life was good for once.
At the very least, it was easier.
She was still obviously going to study like a lunatic, because that was just who she was. Rose trusted Boot's infallible gut up to a reasonable degree, but there was a more cautious side of her that told her it couldn't possibly be that easy. Hodge might have had an urge to review the exam questions precisely this year and...
Still, for once she might actually take her time and learn things instead of shoving them in her brain and hoping they'd stick. She appreciated that more than anything, the possibility of studying well rather than just studying.
The karmic leveler came faster than she expected, as she stumbled upon Odgen and his impossibly sour face on the hallway. He actually seemed to perk up at the sight of her and, for a second, Rose actually deceived herself into thinking he might be happy to see her, relieved for her sake even.
"Ah, Miss Weasley," Ogden said, giving her a calculating look that told her he was feeling nothing of the sort. "Feeling better, are you?"
"Yes, I-"
"I'm so glad I caught you," he interrupted, not even letting her finish. "I've just been called over to Scotland - they're having a fascinating panel about Healing Ethics and reviewing whether we should be aiding our fellow Muggles fight cancer and whatnot - and there's a series of reports that need to be filled in ASAP."
He pointedly stared at her for a few seconds and Rose struggled to find the words to turn him down. "Well, I'd be delighted to help but-"
"Splendid!" He placed an arm around her shoulder and turned her around, herding her in the general direction of his office before she knew what was happening. "I can't tell you how invaluable your assistance is-"
For the second time that morning, Rose found herself swallowing a stiff cup of depresso.
"- you're an absolute gem in this place, everyone else is just so keen on shirking their duties -"
Rose nodded dumbly, hating herself for the small bit of her that was beaming at his praise. Much like Cute Barista's acknowledgement of her existence, Ogden's flattery was something she had no defences against.
"- not to mention I can always count on you to make sense of the unintelligible notes our fellow healers leave. Ah, here we are!"
He opened the door for her to enter before him and stepping in shortly thereafter, circling his desk to pull a series of clipboards and stacks from the desk in front of him. "Half of these should be ready by lunchtime, I think-" He glanced over at the clock on the wall. "Better make that noon, you know how Aspen gets when she doesn't get her charts in time for rounds…"
Rose mutely allowed him to pile up a series of papers on her arms. She was vaguely aware of a separate, almost remote part of her screaming with indignation… and she shut it down in order to hear the endless list of instructions he was spouting about each chart.
There was no way she was worming her way out of this now. If she was being honest with herself, her fate had been sealed the moment her and Ogden's eyes had met.
After he was finally done, she only asked, "Noon you said?" because what else could she do? Say 'no'?
She really needed to learn to walk with her eyes on the damned floor.
"Yes, Miss Weasley," he said, half smirking at her. It was an odd thing, to see the man producing a smile - both terrifying and a little rewarding. That stupid panel must have meant a lot to him. "You're so dependable, you've been sorely missed."
And Rose smiled back and nodded, wondering to herself how exactly she was going to face Choi after having ditched the first rotation she'd had for two whole weeks. It wasn't like she could blame Ogden - she should have told him, in no uncertain way, to shove those clipboards up his arse.
Unfortunately, much like Jesse would let the people he loved walk over him, she would let anyone she didn't know well walk all over her.
"You saw Malfoy naked ?! Oh, sweet, sweet Merlin's graying bottom please tell me all!"
Rose nearly choked on the coffee she was sipping. She looked around to see Penny Nicholson practically skipping over, her Cheshire grin ever present.
"And speaking of bottoms…"
"Talk louder, will you?" Rose hissed between gritted teeth as she grabbed Pen's arm and pulled her into a nearby supply closet, closing the door behind them. "I don't think the whole of London heard you!"
"Ah, so you have seen Malfoy in the buff," Pen replied smugly, lowering her voice into a conspiratorial tone. "I thought Boot was blowing it out of proportion, as usual. What was it like?!"
Ah, damn, she'd all but admitted to it.
Rose tossed her coffee cup into a nearby bin and nervously started thumbing through a neat stack of forms on one of the shelves. If anyone walked in, at least that would help project the illusion that they were indeed working and not in fact talking about how her flatmate looked in the nude.
"Mostly sweaty and gross," Rose replied, pointedly avoiding looking at the brunette, which was rather fruitless considering Penny was so close she was practically hugging her. "You know, Shivers."
"I meant his penis, Rose."
Oh, Merlin.
It was one thing to happen upon a penis in the wilderness, as one often did in their line of work. Another thing entirely was for one to entertain thoughts of specific penises on one's free time.
"I'm not going to talk to you about Malfoy's…" Rose practically choked on the word, pushing the image away from her mind. "Nope. Not happening."
Focus, Rose. Anything but Scorp's-
"C'mon, you're a Healer, you can say penis," Pen scolded. "Or dick, or wang, or-"
"I don't need a thesaurus, you bint! I'm still not going to tell you about his penis, dick, wang, whatever!" Rose interrupted, deliberately turning to scowl at Penny, whose grin was probably hurting her cheeks at this point. "Healer-Patient confidentiality."
"I call bullshite, Weasley. From what Boot told me, you were as much his patient as he was yours." Penny tutted, a hand on her heart with mock sentimentality. "Playing Healer, oh my. He told me all about how your knight in shining armour-"
Jesse Boot had better watch his back because if she ran into him today, he was dead, no matter how many times he saved her from those disgusting lattes and muffins.
"Fuck off and stop fantasising about it. It was awful and sweaty and gross and that's that."
"The world is very, very unfair." Penny pouted while still somehow managing to look like a malicious imp. "Had it been me-"
"You'd have what, whispered tender nothings in his ear as he barfed?"
Knowing Penny, she might have.
"No," Penny admitted, her shit-eating grin never faltering even for a second, "but at the very least, like the good friend I am, I'd give you a detailed account of his bum."
Rose sighed and tried to push the mental image of Scorpius Malfoy's arse away from her mind. The only problem with that was the fact that thinking about his bum was far better than the alternative, which was thinking about his grin.
His bum was fine, sure, but that cheeky smile of his made her go a little weak at the knees. It didn't help that he was becoming so liberal with giving it away either.
She wondered if he would be alright with quitting Puddlemere. In ten years she'd never seen him looking so frazzled as he had this morning and-
"You're thinking about him," Penny cried in a sing-song voice, hugging her from behind and tugging them left and right in a weird, improvised dance of sorts. "Tell me!"
What was there to tell, really?
That it had taken her months, years even, before she'd come to appreciate Scorpius Malfoy's bum?
That meeting his grey eyes made her chest feel just a little tighter than it should?
No, thank you. She'd rather die. Pen was already insufferable. If she actually admitted to anything, anything at all, there would be no end to her obnoxious, knowing grins.
"There's nothing to tell." Rose stuck to her guns and scowled. "He's still as pasty as he ever was, and so is his bum."
Ah yes, lying. Lying was good.
Rose just wished she was better at it.
"Woman, are you blind?!"
She wasn't, of course.
He'd always been cute in that blond sort of way, but he'd also been a complete asswipe. She might have a lot of flaws, but it was a personal point-of-pride to her that she had never been attracted to asswipes, no matter how cute their butts looked.
Now, however, he wasn't just a good looking asswipe, he was a person.
A person who had stuck with her through yelling and sweat and vomit. A person who charmed crackers into animal shapes for her sake. A person who tried to get her to take breaks and read books she liked. A person who cooked and cleaned for her.
Rose was suddenly possessed by a very strong desire to shield him from prying eyes, to keep that little flicker far, far away from Penny.
"Can we please stop objectifying my flatmate?" Rose replied in the steadiest voice she could muster. "We can talk about something that's not boys, you know? Where's your feminism?!"
"Feminism schmeminism," Penny scoffed, waving a dismissive hand. "I'll march for my right to show my tits all you want... after you're done telling me all about your flatemate's pasty bum."
"How's your proposal treating you?" Rose asked, in a daring attempt to change the subject to something that wouldn't make her cringe when she reviewed the conversation later. "How did Thatcher take it?"
Lies and misdirection, of course. If she threw enough sand in Penny's eyes, maybe she'd forget about Scorp's arse.
Doubtful, but it was worth a shot.
"Peachy. Thatcher approved our initial draft. He was rather thrilled about it, and it was such garbage." Pen's hands dropped from her shoulders and she gave her a long, hard stare. "It's such a waste. You're living with two of the dishiest men I know and you don't even care."
"In my defence, Al's my cousin."
"Yes, and if I had a cousin that looked that good I'd jump his bones. Turn that incest into wincest."
Rose just stared blankly back at her.
Wha-
How-
Just… there were no words.
"You could bounce a quarter off his arse, you know? And by 'you' I mean 'me' and by 'quarter' I mean-"
"Pen."
Amazing how a single word could convey such disappointment and condescension with just the smallest whiff of annoyance.
It was also incredible just how much she sounded like her mum sometimes.
"Eesh, fine," Pen protested, throwing her hands up . "You're far too serious today. Are you sure you're well enough to come back? You could stay at home a while longer, no one would think less of you."
After three days of being stuck inside the house it had felt like she might die of boredom. After two weeks she'd been climbing up and down the walls. She'd been so eager to return to this, to the frantic, fast paced environment of her day job that she'd practically skipped all the way over this morning.
"Eh." Rose gave a half-hearted shrug. "Resting is overrated."
"What are you doing, then?"
"Ogden dropped a mountain of paperwork on my lap." Rose scowled. "I hadn't even been back for a whole hour and..."
"Did he now?" Penny's smile was wiped clean off her face. "You don't say."
"Yeah. I'm not even sure how I'm supposed to sort it out by noon."
In fact, she wasn't sure she even had time for this conversation. She'd just stepped out to get herself coffee from the dispenser before she'd been ambushed by Pen and now she'd lost what, ten minutes of priceless time?
"Mmmhmm," Penny hummed, a thoughtful look on her face. "Tell you what, I'll help."
"Really? Don't you have Clinic today?"
Out of all of them, Penny was the Clinic's biggest fan. She'd grown up with Muggleborn medicine and medical shows and she viewed wizarding medicine as something cute and curious but not dramatic or real enough for her. She had latched onto Thatcher like fleas on a dog and was currently paving her way to a brilliant and bloody career.
"Fuck Clinic." The brunette wrapped an arm around her shoulders and opened the door for them, herding Rose away from the supply room. "I was thinking about cutting anyway."
Penny Nicholson suddenly saying she wanted to skip Clinic wasn't natural.
"Why ?" Rose touched the back of her hand to Pen's forehead, feeling a mix of worry and amusement. "Are you dying?"
For a few seconds there was no reply and Rose dropped her hand to her side, eyebrows furrowing.
"It's just… I haven't seen you this rested in months," Penny replied, gently placing a hand on Rose's head and ruffling her hair. "It's nice."
"What does that have to do with anything?!" Rose swatted Pen's hand away and gingerly brushed her fingers through her curls trying to fix the damage. "Are you quite alright?"
"Quite," she replied, her usually grinning face scrunching into a frown. "I'm just saying it suits you, not being all… dead inside."
"Gee, thanks."
"Come on. Let's go through Ogden's shite so we can get on with our lives."
There were floating charts all around and at least four quills writing simultaneously. While Penny's penmanship was pretty much illegible for anyone who didn't work at St. Mungo's, she wrote faster than Rose and between the two of them, they had done quick work of the charts, reports and exam requests.
They'd even spotted one or two mistakes in the Potion dosages being administered and had triumphantly Owled the Healers in question.
All in all, a productive morning.
"Ah, Miss Weasley," Healer Ogden said, pushing the door open. He was holding a series of folders and charts which he undoubtedly intended to drop on her table. "Are you done?"
"Yes." Rose, who was just finishing penciling in the last few characters, offered him a weak smile.
Please don't give me those, please don't give me those, please-
Penny Nicholson cleared her throat, smiling sweetly at Healer Ogden. "Healer Ogden, it's lovely to see you."
"Miss Nicholson."
"How was your panel?"
Rose recoiled. She knew that tone. It was the tone Penny used before she completely lost her shit.
"It was good, there were a series of topics we don't talk about enough-"
Rose watched with horror as the brunette got up to her feet and started accioing the charts and files before handing them to him, with perhaps a tad too much brute force.
"Thank you, Miss Nicholson." He took them, awkwardly juggling them with the ones he'd been holding and looked from Rose's stricken look to Penny's widely defiant one. It was painfully obvious who the weak link was between the two of them and Rose braced herself for the inevitable. "Miss Weasley, I was hoping you could-"
"Hoping she could what, Healer Ogden?" Her tone was pleasant enough, along with the ever present shit-eating grin. And yet there was a bite to her voice that Ogden hopefully hadn't noticed. "Take care of that paperwork, you mean?"
No . Bad Penny.
"Why, yes. Here-" He started unscrambling the paperwork, handing it over to Penny. "It's only a couple of forms-"
"You are of course aware that Rose had rounds this morning with Healer Flemming, rounds that she couldn't attend because of… this."
That was a blatant lie. Rose didn't have any Pediatrics rounds scheduled with Flemming for another two weeks, courtesy of her little Shivers stint. But since they both knew Ogden didn't actually care enough to know her schedule, Penny was apparently making it up as she went.
"You didn't tell me that, Miss Weasley. Of course I would have-"
"And of course right now I'm supposed to be in Clinic and Rose is supposed to be on her way to Dangerous Bites."
"Well then, she should have told me, now, shouldn't she?"
Healer Ogden had one of those foul-tempered faces when he wasn't angry. He now looked like he might have an apoplexy.
"Well… I..." Rose could feel her knees growing weak as she met his eye and stuttered out an unintelligible response. "Erm… You see… I..."
"With all due respect, you never give her a fucking chance to," Penny scolded, her voice rising as she stepped back into Ogden's line of sight, drawing the fire. After one or two seconds, she added a thoughtful "Sir," as if that might make any difference.
Penny, you brave idiot. You stupid, stupid idiot.
"What she means is-"
"I know what she means, Miss Weasley," Ogden fumed, pulverising her attempt at diffusing the situation. "Miss Nicholson, I know you think yourself untouchable but just because someone in your family offered St. Mungo's a new ward it doesn't mean-"
Wait, what?
The Thaddeus Nicholson ward was named after someone in Penny's family?
How did she not know this?
"That's of very little consequence here," Penny deflected, clearly embarrassed by the association. "But her mum is the Minister for Magic. And her dad is Ronald Weasley. And her uncle is Harry Bloody Potter."
Clearly Penny had problems with flaunting her own family name but she wasn't beneath flaunting hers.
The cold pit of dread in Rose's stomach grew until she was certain it would swallow her whole. Hell, she wished it would.
"And of course there's Ginny Potter. And I know for a fact that they've been missing her at family dinners and whatnot. What exactly do you think they might do if they knew half of the time she spends here is because you keep-"
"No, Penny, just…" Rose stuttered, grabbing her arm and digging her nails into Penny's fleshy arm. "I'm so sorry Healer Ogden, she's probably a bit feverish, just-"
"Shut up, Rose," she hissed. "I know what I'm saying."
"Do you really, Miss Nicholson? Because it sounded an awful lot like you want to get suspended, along with Miss Weasley."
"No." Rose's heart sank. " No."
"Rose, for Merlin's sake, calm down," Penny said, sniggering. "He doesn't have the authority."
Well that was new information. Rose's eyes met Ogden's and she raised a single eyebrow. "Don't you?"
"Of course not, he just made Healer what, eight years ago? He's a self-important -"
"You are of course aware that I'm still here, Miss Nicholson?"
"- arrogant, lazy ass. Of course I am, Healer Ogden," Penny said, gently patting Rose's hand for comfort which Rose really appreciated because she was feeling a little faint. Confrontation at the workplace was something she was only too keen on avoiding and here was Penny, shattering the veneer of civility into a million little pieces. "And if you know what's damned good for you, you'll stop dropping your shite on Rose or I swear to Merlin-"
"You'll do what?"
Penny wordlessly dropped Rose's hand and she circled the table until she was standing inches away from him, arms crossed defiantly in front of her chest.
"Well, Miss Nicholson?"
"Well, Healer Ogden, I might feel tempted to tell everyone all about last year's Christmas Party." Penny watched with satisfaction as his eyes widened with shock and his usually grayish looking face coloured. "That's right, you remember. I remember. I'm so glad we all remember."
Rose felt like she was a mere spectator in one of the most dramatic and terrifying scenes of her entire life.
She daren't breathe.
"So now that we're clear about all this, move along," Penny said, self-importantly opening the door and presenting it to Ogden, who seemed a bit too stunned to come up with a proper response. "Go pester some other intern. Hell, Sauvage will be thrilled if you drop these on him, you two will get along famously."
The second the door closed Penny sagged down against it until her butt hit the floor. She hid her face between her hands. "Shite."
Rose walked over to her, unsure if she should give the brutal girl the hug she so rightly deserved. The usually cool and collected Penny Nicholson, force of nature looked a lot like she was… hyperventilating. "What… just... happened?"
"I don't know, by the end I was just babbling," Penny said, laughing weakly. "I just know he thinks I have a ward named after me, when my very Muggle parents have never even set foot in St. Mungo's."
"Wait, what?!"
"Yep."
Penny Nicholson had balls of steel, that was what she had.
Rose let herself fall down next to her, floored both literally and emotionally. "So all that was just… bluffing?"
"Well, not the bit about last year's Christmas Party." Penny let out a high pitched laughter, her stress finally seeping into her chuckle. "That was the only ace I had up my sleeve. It could've just as well turned out to be a deuce."
"What happened last year at the Christmas Party?"
Nothing really ever happened at the St. Mungo's Christmas Party. They were all boring, stuffy affairs, full of nodding and hand shaking and ass kissing.
"I shagged him, of course," Penny explained matter-of-factly, like shagging senior Healers was something she did every day.
In Penny's case she might be. Rose suspected the only reason she didn't know about this was because her first impulse was always to stick her fingers in her ears and go la-la-la whenever Penny launched into one of her incredibly detailed accounts of her flings.
"Pen, he's..."
"Married, I know. Jesse told me a few months ago," Pen said, resting her head back against the door with a smirk. "If it's any consolation I only suspected it at the time."
Oh, Penny.
Penny, Penny, Penny.
"I was going to say ancient but… but now that too! Just… why?"
"Honestly?" Penny shrugged. "I was drunk and he was there."
Rose lips pursed into a thin line.
As far as horrible shagging choices went, Rose couldn't exactly judge Penny. Her pre-requisites for a one-night stand were, similarly to Pen's, alcohol and physical presence... though she'd never been addled enough to actually shag someone twenty years her senior or who shared her place of employment.
Yet.
"So you just threatened his marriage to get him off my back?"
Rose didn't know whether to laugh or to cry.
"Well yes. Though A, I wasn't sure if he was already married at the time, B, I wasn't sure if he'd care and C, I'd never actually do it, you know." She sniggered and brushed a hand through her long black hair, giving it a flick. "I don't kiss and tell."
"Pen, you do." Rose winced and brushed a hand through her own mop of red hair, though there was no flicking of any sort - just anxious tugging. "Often in excruciating detail."
"Not to his wife I wouldn't."
"It's bad enough that you slept with him."
"Oh, darling, we did a lot more than just sleeping," Penny purred, the Cheshire Cat grin returning. "He's not half bad either."
"And you're telling me this why?"
"Honestly? I'm nervous." She showed Rose her shaking hand, that incredibly steady hand she'd been training since she'd been ten and she'd decided she'd rather enjoy slicing people's chests open when she grew up. "That was shitty. Why didn't you stop me?!"
Rose couldn't help but chuckle, her shoulder giving Pen's a small nudge. "I did try."
"Try harder next time, will you?"
"Sure, love," Rose said, though she doubted she'd ever be successful.
Standing in front of Penny when she was on the warpath was something a sane person would never do.
"You're going to have to stand up for yourself someday, you know? You can't keep taking work that's not yours."
"Someday. Just not… today." Rose bit down her shaking lip and nodded silently. "Why the sudden campaign for my welfare? Jesse was also-"
"I passed you by earlier and you were humming." Pen stretched her arms over her head, her prodigious bosom jutting out. "Quite off key, I may add. Thanks, by the way, you didn't even say 'hi' after two bloody weeks. But it was the least… well, miserable I've seen you since we've met. And I was getting tired of watching that wanker bully you."
"So you decided to give him a whipping?"
"Kinky," Penny said, waggling her eyebrows. "But no, I just really wanted to see that smug arsehole taken down a notch or two. Call it a personal achievement."
"Thanks, Pen." Rose leaned against Penny and let her head rest on the girl's shoulder. "I appreciate it." After a few seconds she asked, "Do you suppose we'll be jerks when we're Healers?"
"Probably. The only one out of the whole lot who isn't a complete shitehead is Healer Aspen. And I love Thatcher, but, you know, it's definitely not because of his sparkling personality."
"I like Choi... but I wouldn't want to get on his bad side." Rose shuddered as she remembered the way Choi talked about Sauvage. "I wonder if they had it this bad when they were residents."
"They are nice to the patients though," Penny mused. "Maybe they're just as done with this place as we are."
"It's a possibility."
"What about your proposal? Have you gotten anywhere with it?"
Rose snorted.
For one to propose something, one had to actually have an idea of what to propose… and after all this time she still had zilch, nada, diddly-squat. She didn't even have a particular specialty in mind. Pen had her obsession with Clinic and Jesse had his fatal attraction to lost causes.
What did she have?
"I'm going to take that as a 'no'."
Jesse was doing this amazing research project whereupon he'd be trying to remove not only memories of smoking, but also cherry picking the actual habit out of someone.
In an unlikely twist of fate, Melissa and Pen had teamed up and asked for Thatcher's patronage as they tried to emulate the Muggle MRI technology by creating a more accurate divination spell than the ones they currently used.
Even bloody Sauvage was being a productive member of society. In the past month he'd apparently taken Choi's criticism to heart and picked up a book that wasn't in the curriculum. From what Jesse had told her, Sauvage had managed to get himself involved in a small study involving a series of Undeads in cooperation with Hoytzer's Hospital in Berlin.
And then there was her.
"Yeah." She tried to sound dismissive and in control. "But I still have time."
Alas, she did not feel dismissive or in control. The deadline was looming over her head and she still had a whole big, fat load of nothing.
"Damn right you do," Penny said, a small grin curling her lips.
"Not a long time though." Rose's stomach churned slightly. "And everyone else has handed it in. You and Jess-"
"You need to stop bloody comparing yourself to me and Jesse or I'm going to hex all of that poofy hair off," Pen threatened, getting up to her feet and holding out her hands to help Rose to her feet. "It's not the same."
Rose protested, "Of course it's the same-"
"The first time Boot saw you smoking, I could see the gears in his brain turning and coming up with that stupid project of his," Penny said, shaking her head with obvious disapproval. "I'm into Muggle medicine and Lewis is a Divination buff. It makes sense for us. You just need to figure out what would make sense for you."
"Sure." Rose forced a smile onto her face. "What makes sense for me, huh?"
She didn't say what she felt, which was really 'what if nothing makes sense for me?'.
"Don't just agree with me for the sake of agreeing, you know I hate it," Penny scoffed. "When the time comes, if you're desperate, you can always tag along with me and Lewis. But until then, you have time to figure out what you want."
Melissa and Pen were the sort of people who would carry her to the finish line if need be, without her having to move a single finger to help.
Rose wished she had the humility to accept it, she really did. Alas, she was too proud, too stubborn and too self-aware. It made her sick to her stomach to think what people might say about handouts and favouritism.
The only problem was that she still didn't have a viable alternative.
"Pen, I don't want anything."
"Yet ," Penny said. "You hide in Magical Bugs because it's safe and you're good at it, but you have options. You could take one of the spring internships, casual date a few different specialties before you commit, postpone your proposal-"
"No," Rose spat. "And turn out like Erin Bloomby, who's been interning for what, five years now?"
"Don't you dare compare yourself to Erin Bloomby, you bint. She's got half your brains and none of your wit."
"Yes, that's how I'll find my way out of this conundrum," Rose scowled, opening the door and stepping out. "My brains and my wit."
"I don't know why you say it like that, you idiot," Penny said, grabbing her arm and holding her back. "Rose, you're smart. You work hard. The patients love you. You're a decent diagnostician and, while I definitely wouldn't trust you around a needle, you're pretty nifty with a wand, especially when you don't have the time to panic."
Incredible how when compliments came from people that mattered they never struck as hard as when they did from random almost-strangers.
"Penny…"
"Penny Schmenny." She placed both hands on Rose's face and leaned in until their foreheads were touching. "Now, repeat after me…"
Rose's eyes met Pen's laughing gaze, mostly because there was no other option when she was standing so close. She tried to free herself from Penny's grasp, but her hands had Rose's face in a vice.
"I'd like to point out that A, this is ridiculous and B, it will likely produce a lot of rumours if people see us."
"Desperate times require desperate measures. Now stop squirming before I decide to actually snog you and give those rumours some legs to stand on," Penny scolded. Rose stopped moving instantly. "Good girl. Now repeat after me: I am brilliant."
"I am… really, Pen?"
"Yes, really," Pen said, mimicking her tone. "This will take a lot less time if you cooperate. Now… I am brilliant."
"I am brilliant," Rose repeated obediently.
"I am a stunning diagnostician."
"I don't know if I'd say stunning, but like-"
"Stunning, Rose," Penny said irritably. "Stunning."
"I am a stunning diagnostician."
She was kind of getting into it now. If she disregarded how utterly corny this was, it was actually kind of... nice.
"My patients love me even though I let them boss me around."
"My patients love me and I definitely don't let them boss me around."
"You do let them go on endless tirades about their cats though," Penny pointed out. "And their kids."
"That I do," Rose said, one of the corners of her mouth curling upwards. "Which is precisely why they love me."
"Good," Penny said, her grin widening. "Now… I study harder than everyone else because I'm a maniac."
"I do study harder than everyone else because I'm a maniac," Rose said, a small smile on her face. "What else you got?"
There was a pause for a few seconds and Penny dropped her hands from her face, wrapping her arms around Rose instead.
"I love my dear friend Penny."
"I definitely love my dear friend Penny," Rose said softly, leaning into Penny and closing her eyes. "You're an idiot, you know that?"
"And yet you love me," Pen said, spitting out a piece of hair that had lodged itself in her mouth and letting out a low chuckle that tickled Rose's ear. "To bits."
"And pieces."
Two updates in one week? Is this a parallel universe?
Nope, it's not. Like I said, the last chapter was blocking all this goodness and now here we are! My gift to you in these troubled times we're living in. I hope you're all doing okay and staying safe!
What was that you said Guest? Faster updates? Oh, my.
This chapter's been written for... months. Like MONTHS. It was just waiting for the right time to emerge and now here it is! I really loved writing it. It's one of my favourites yet :) Thanks as always to TheChirpyBitch for proofing, especially since life has just gotten extra hard!
I'd also like to send a special shout-out and thank you to fearinourminds and MoonstoneAndStardust who are both incredible and consistently write me lovely reviews rooting for these two idiots!
As usual comment, subscribe, kudo, bookmark, favourite or follow - but mostly comment, I love those!
