22. Bruce

There were three instances in his life where Bruce had felt helpless. First, the murder of his parents after which his childhood self had sworn to never be passive again. He had spent years of steeling his body and mind. Travelling over the globe in search for guidance from the best and surpassing them. He had felt invincible when he had returned to Gotham. As if nothing could stop him from hunting down crime. Batman had been aggressive in his pursuit of criminals. A monstrous, urban legend. He had crossed lines that made him shudder in retrospect.

Batman hadn't always succeeded in saving everyone but he had always acted. He had never been that passive boy in the alley again. Dick had softened his edges. Made him see humanity again where Bruce had seen evil and cowardice. Still, Bruce had always felt invincible. There had been some close calls but Dick and him had always made it out.

Jason had shown him how it felt to be helpless again. To be the boy in the alley again. Batman had been useless that night. He had been too late. After the dust settled, the only thing he could do was cradle his dead son's body close – just as he had clutched to his parents' bodies in that alley. But it hadn't changed anything. Jason was still dead because Bruce hadn't been enough. Hunting Joker down had been Bruce's way of being active. Of taking charge. At least, that's what Black Canary had told him.

"Do you think killing Joker would change anything?", she had asked.

No. It wouldn't. Not for Jason. But it would have made Bruce feel better. At least, that's what he had told himself. Dick had again shown him that he was wrong.

Bruce was slumped in the chair in front of the Batcomputer hiding his face in his hands. Seeing his oldest son leave him had been the third instance where Bruce had felt helpless. The instance that had shown him that he was still like that boy in the alley. That there were situations he couldn't control. People he couldn't control. Bruce had shoved Dick away with his actions and now he was out of reach. His son was turning into a version of himself that Bruce had always tried to avoid.

Allowing Dick to be Robin, letting him join the Team, allowing him to become his own hero. Bruce had made all these decisions with the aim that Dick found his peace. That he wouldn't turn out like Batman himself. And Dick had done great in that regard. Better than Bruce had hoped. Until Bruce had torn it all apart with his actions. And now he couldn't fix it. He was helpless again.

Bruce felt as if someone had ripped his heart out. The emptiness in his chest was unbearable.

He didn't dare to look up from his hands. Just seeing the insides of the Cave made him sick.

Batcomputer, Batmobile, Batsuit…

Dick had been a child when he had named everything with that prefix. Bruce had scolded him for being unprofessional but secretely he had found it amusing. And the names had stuck. Seeing the Batcave and all the marks his son had left o#n his life made him see how much he had lost.

Bruce had known that he had power over Dick. He had known that he could permanently break something within his son. But he had risked it again and again. Until it had been too much. And now he could kick himself for it.

Dick was planning something and he didn't trust Bruce enough to let him in. Bruce knew where plans like these ended. He'd walked these paths often enough. But there was nothing he could do. He wasn't the one who could steer Dick into the right direction when he was the reason Dick had gone off-path in the first place. Bruce wondered if Dick had anyone left to steer him back.

Wally and Artemis had left the Team. Kaldur had betrayed them. M'Gann and Connor were still there but they were caught up in their own relationship problems. No one knew the cause of their disagreements, but they had become more frequent – a worried Black Canary had told him in private.

Speak of the devil. The Batcomputer beeped - opening an email. Black Canary had sent him his clearance for the Justice League. Dick must have called her and flat out lied to her.

Bruce hit the wooden tabletop. Everything was a mess. He thought about refusing the invitation but Dick was planning something. And, apparently, Bruce being a member of the League was part of this plan.

Bruce was helpless at the moment. But he could still accept the invitations just to give his son back-up. Dick needed him right now (even if he would never admit it). If his son wouldn't let Bruce support him outright, Batman would do it from the shadows. It was ironic how their positions had flipped.

Tim came down the stairs. He put his hand on Bruce's elbow.

"He isn't staying for breakfast?", Tim seemed disappointed that his hero had left.

"We still have some… issues", Bruce ruffled the boy's hair, "But he's coming for Christmas. And he'll be your leader when you join the team. You'll spend a lot of time together."

It would be good for both of them. Maybe his little brother would be someone to anchor Dick when Bruce couldn't. Maybe the current Robin would be able to pull Dick back just as Tim had done for Bruce. Just as Dick had done for Bruce when he had taken the young boy in.

It was strange how much his children had done for him. And now that Bruce could see it, it was too late.

Tim bit his lip: "I'm not ready for the Team yet."

"You will be in a few months. But it takes a lot of maturity to admit your flaws. Something that a great hero needs."

And an ability that Batman didn't have.

Tim beamed under the praise. Bruce smiled. He would do everything to make sure that Tim wouldn't end up like Jason. Or that he wouldn't hate him like Dick did. It hurt to think of the relationships to his oldest two boys as screw-ups. He would never think of the boy themselves as screw-ups though. Even after everything that had happened, Bruce was proud of both of them. Jason who had channeled his anger into helping people. And Dick who – even though he was struggling right now – still had become his own person.

"Come on, Tim", Bruce said, "Let's get some of Alfred's waffles."


Bruce still felt this emptiness inside of him when he sat among the League in the next meeting. Diana was also back. She glared at Bruce with hatred. The other members either walked like on eggshells around him or treated him like nothing had changed.

It reminded him of his early years as a more closed-off Batman. Before Dick had come into his life. Bruce had forgotten how it felt to be viewed with so little trust by his fellow teammates. But he couldn't change it. As for now, it was business as usual.


AN: …And this was the last complete chapter. Next week, there is only an epilogue left. I'm already feeling quite nostalgic right now because this is the first multi-chapter fic I've ever written.

Here are some of my thoughts behind the story if anyone's interested (because I think that character analysis is fun):

It started out with this plot bunny of how Young Justice Bruce would react to Jason's death and ended up becoming a character study on Dick's and Bruce's relationship. I love fics where they are really supportive of each other but I also love it when their relationship is a tangled mess where one of them says one thing and the other understands the opposite.

Bruce comes off as quite a horrible person in this fic at times but it was never my intention to bash him. I love his character. Otherwise, I wouldn't write about him.

So, I have Bruce starting out in a really dark place with Dick trying to pull him out of it. Dick continually sticks to Bruce's side and tries to do what he has always done as Robin. Be the light to Batman's dark. But there is a point where it becomes too much and something within Dick breaks: the Arkham arc.

After this shift, their positions switch. Bruce (sometimes in his backwards way) tries to get through to Dick but Dick doesn't let him. After losing the Team as his support system, Dick ends up in the dark place he is in during the second season of the show.

But while everything is really bad right now, there is some hope. Tim's arrival allows Bruce to see the light again and he is also a little brother to Dick that he feels responsible for. Because giving people hope is what Robins do and one big reason why I love them so much.

I hope that all of that makes sense. If anyone has their own interpretation, it would be really fun to hear.