Disclaimer: I do not own the world of Harry Potter.


Priya took a deep breath, clutching her books tight to her chest. She had a free period and had left the Great Hall early after trying unsuccessfully to eat a sandwich. She felt nauseous and stupid, watching the entrance of the Hall like a crazy person. It was the first day of the Winter Term and, true to her word, she was going to make a change and do something really foolish.

Why was she even doing this? This was stupid, right? This was a crazy, foolish, dumb –

"Harry," she called out as the Gryffindor boy finally appeared, his bag over his shoulder. Hermione was nowhere in sight and, thankfully, neither was Ron (probably off being smothered by his twit of a girlfriend).

Harry looked up at the sound of his name and Priya thought her heart stopped as he grinned at her, this wide, wonderful smile, walking towards her. Merlin, she was being ridiculous.

"Priya," he said when he saw her, stopping in front of her (too close, too close!). "It's good to see you."

Should she hug him? That wasn't something they had ever done before. Priya wasn't particularly fond of hugging, so instead, she held her books even tighter, hoping he didn't notice. "It's good to see you too. Did you, er, did you have a good holiday?"

"I did! Thank you for the new Quidditch gloves. I've been meaning to get some new ones."

"I've noticed. Thank you for the books and notebooks!" Was she talking too loud? She was talking too loud.

"Of course. So, did you have a good holiday? Hermione was telling me about –"

"Would you like to go to Hogsmeade with me?" Priya interrupted.

Harry seemed to freeze in front of her. "I'm – huh?"

Priya took what she thought was her umpteenth deep breath. After her talk with Hermione and with her mom, she knew what she had to do. Harry was brave but she had seen how he acted around girls. She had to buck up and make the first move if these feelings she had really meant something. Maybe spending some time together, in a capacity that was meant to be intimate like a date, would help answer some questions. "Would you maybe like to go to Hogsmeade with me? The next trip in March."

"You, er, you mean, just the two of us?" Harry asked, grabbing the back of his neck.

She couldn't help the smirk that came to her face as she tilted her head to the side. "I thought that was implied."

"It was, it is! Um, I suppose, I'm just – surprised?"

"It's okay if you don't want to. I just thought –"

"No, no, I do! I want to. Yea, let's – let's do it." Harry gave her that wide grin again. Priya noticed that his ears were turning red; her face felt hot as well.

A smile worked its way to Priya's face, one that she couldn't stop, even as she bit her bottom lip. "Okay then. I – I should go, but I'll see you around?"

"Yea, yes, of course."

Nodding, Priya hurried away, up the stairs. She glanced over her shoulder as she went; Harry practically jumped out of his skin when they made eye contact before he hurried off in a different direction. Well, she supposed that went as well as it could have gone, even if it had been a bit awkward. It was a step in a different direction. She tried to keep her normal, blank face as she hurried through the corridor but it was proving difficult.

She had a date.


The weeks passed slowly, much to everyone's annoyance. The weather was gloomy. The only bright spot was Apparition lessons, which were proving difficult for all of them. Priya was slowly realizing that she may only be able to use a Floo for the rest of her life, considering she hated to fly and Appariting seemed unpleasant, if Susan Bones splinching herself was any indication.

Other than that, school moved as normal. Priya still saw Harry from time to time, though he seemed rather distracted. More often to not, after lessons, he was rushing off to the bathroom. Neither of them mentioned their impending 'date' but their brief walks in the corridors together seemed a bit more meaningful (at least from Priya's end; she could be imagining things).

Professors were still forcing nonverbal spells, requesting silence more often to not in every lesson. Priya found that she was surprisingly good at it, thanks to her mother's lessons. One day, in D.A.D.A, Priya stood across from Hermione this time, protecting herself from the other girls Nonverbal attacks, the two of them trying to hide their giggles when Snape was too close.

Someone knocked on the door and the spellwork slowed to a stop as Snape swooped to answer, annoyance written all over his posture. He pulled open the door to reveal a very nervous, looking Professor Flitwick, who mumbled something frantically to the other Professor. Around the room, everyone started to whisper. With You-Know-Who back, lots of crazy things had been happening and people were disappearing or worse. Everyone was understandably on edge.

Snape straightened up, turning towards the class, his eyes moving over them.

And he stopped on Priya.

"Miss Tollop," he muttered. "You are dismissed. Please accompany Professor Flitwick."

Her heart dropped to her stomach. Her knees felt weak.

Priya didn't want to move, couldn't move, and everyone was watching her. She turned to get her bag only to almost walk into Hermione, who was holding her things for her, eyes wide with fear, concern. Swallowing, Priya took her things from her friend, urging herself to move faster as she followed Flitwick out of the room, the door clicking ominously behind her. The little man nodded at her, his eyes sad, before he turned, gesturing for her to follow.

"Professor," she started, not sure what to say but it didn't matter.

"We're wanted in the Headmaster's office, my dear," he told her, his voice thick.

It could be nothing, she thought as they moved through the hallways. Maybe they wanted to talk to her about Prefect duties. Maybe they wanted to talk about her classwork or her career. It could be nothing. Maybe she was being expelled, which, at this point, she would prefer.

It could be nothing.

It was nothing.

Merlin, let it be nothing.

She barely heard Flitwick give the password for Dumbledore's office. She stood on the rotating stairs, hands sweaty, heart pounding so loudly she was sure that Flitwick could hear it. They reached the top and the Professor knocked on the door before pushing it open.

Dumbledore sat at his desk, hands folded in front of him. Professor McGonagall stood to his right, looking solemn. Her Headmaster stood as she and Flitwick entered. "Priya. Please, have a seat."

She did so, Dumbledore sitting as well. Everyone was silent for another minute, two before the man sighed, his eyes sad behind his glasses. "Priya –"

"Who?" she asked. She could feel the wall had come up, her face blank but, Merlin it was becoming a battle. She didn't want the exposition. Get to the point.

Who?

Who who who who who?

Dumbledore was watching her ever so closely, those blue eyes feeling like they were drilling into her soul. "Your mother."

Mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom mom

Priya sat in a sort of daze as Dumbledore apologized for her loss, told her that she would be going home immediately, that her things would be sent to her. She could stay home as long as she needed to.

Mom?


The funeral was that Thursday.

When she got home that Monday afternoon, her father and grandmother were waiting for her. Calloway wrapped her in his arms, his tears sliding into her hair and she held him tight, trying to be strong.

Tuesday they made preparations, sent owls. Edie's younger brother, Willard, came to help out. Celestina talked about packing up Edie's things, resulting in a huge fight between her and Calloway. Priya stayed in her room, writing the letters from there.

Wednesday, Celestina and Priya scrubbed down the house, making every service sparkle. Priya could feel her grandmother watching her while they worked, concerned, probably, worried, but not really knowing what to say. Who would? That day, Priya found the scarf her mother had been working on at Christmas. It was maybe three-fourths of the way finished. She took it to her room, knowing she didn't have the skill to finish it but wanting it close because it smelled like her mom.

The day of the funeral, Stella showed up. Apparently, she had demanded that Flitwick let her and the other girls go, to offer their support. Flitwick had caved, in a way, but only allowed one of them to go. The girls had voted for Stella. Her oldest and first friend held her hand the entire time, from the moment the ceremony started to dealing with all of the guests who came to her house afterwards, dropping off food and condolences. Mad-Eye Moody came, so did Tonks and Lupin and other members of the Order. Tonks gripped Priya up into a hug so tight that it was hard to breath. When it was all over, Calloway gave Priya a necklace her mother had been fond of wearing, a simple silver chain with a blue gem attached. Priya went to bed holding the gem in her hand.

Friday, Stella went back to school.

"It's okay, you know," she had whispered to her friend as they stood in front of the fire. "It's okay for you to cry."

Priya had nodded. "I know."

Calloway had taken to his bed and barely moved. Celestina and Willard were staying for a while, keeping the house alive, cooking. Priya helped where she could. She felt the need to be strong, even if other people could do better than she did.

She knew she could cry. She knew she probably should cry.

But if she started now, she wouldn't be able to stop.

That evening, Dumbledore knocked on their door.

Celestina offered him tea, which he declined, taking a seat in their living room. "To what do we owe the pleasure," Celestina asked with a sniff.

"I wanted to come to, once again, extend my condolences. Edie was a wonderful, talented woman. Her absence will be a prominent one. . . . I also wished to come and discuss the circumstances –"

"Priya, why don't you go to your room?" Celestina suggested, placing her hand on her granddaughter's head.

"I'd like to stay please," Priya replied.

After the Battle of the Department of Mysteries, Dumbledore gave Edie permission to tell her family (Priya, Calloway, and Celestina) more about the Order, though she still wasn't allowed to tell them much. She wasn't supposed to tell them when she was being sent on missions for the Order or where she was going. She wasn't supposed to mention the Order's Headquarters nor mention to Calloway and Celestina who the other Order members were; Priya knew some of them thanks to being at the Ministry that night.

She had the right to know what her mother was doing when she died didn't she?

Celestina frowned. "My love, I don't think –"

"She can stay." They looked towards the stairs as Calloway came down. He was still in his clothes from the funeral, wrinkled, bags under his eyes. "She should be allowed to know. Edie – Edie would have wanted her to know."

Calloway propped himself on the arm of the sofa, nodding to Dumbledore as he placed his hand on Priya's shoulder. Celestina moved her hand to Priya's, gripping it tight.

Dumbledore watched the three of them for a moment, clasping his hands in front of him. "Edie was completing a mission for the Order, though it was under the guise of doing something for the Aurors. We had gotten intel on a location where there were Death Eaters in hiding. Edie took a couple of her subordinates to survey the place. The information was . . . incomplete. There were more Death Eaters than expected. Edie and her team were overwhelmed. Edie covered for her subordinates so they could escape."

Priya pried her hands apart, glancing down at the indentations her nails had left in her skin. It all sounded so simple. A mission gone wrong. Something that could have happened to one of the many other Aurors.

So why hadn't it?

She shook that horrid thought from her head, looking up at Dumbledore. "Do we know who?"

"We don't need to know who –" Celestina started.

"Why shouldn't we?" Priya interrupted. "Why shouldn't we know? I think knowing the whole story is important, don't you?"

"Priya –"

"I'm afraid I don't know whole story either," Dumbledore responded in that calm voice of his. It made Priya want to throw something. "There was no definite record of which Death Eaters, new or old, were there. I wish I had more to tell you, more I could tell you. . . . These are perilous times. I believe Edie knew that as well. She left these for you," he continued, pulling letters from a bag Priya hadn't noticed. "One for each of you, Willard as well. To be distributed in the case of – well if anything were to happen."

"Why did she leave them with you?" Calloway asked as he took his letter. "Why not with our lawyer?"

A small smile came to Dumbledore's face. "I'm hoping it is because she trusted me, as I hope you do also. Priya," he said to the young Ravenclaw, passing her the letter, "as I said in my office, you are free to take as much time as you need. You have the well wishes of all your friends and the staff at Hogwarts."

Dumbledore stood, prompting Calloway to do so as well. "Thank you for coming," Priya's father mumbled.

"Of course," Dumbledore responded.

Priya didn't even hear them walk to the door. She kept her gaze focused on the letter, her name written on it and handwriting that was so familiar. She had seen this writing on napkins on the table, on little notes left around the house, letters sent back and forth from Hogwarts.

Momma.


My lovely girl,

On August 18th 1980, the most precious gift to ever exist was born. Even as a baby, you kept me on my toes. You were inquisitive and, once you learned to crawl, you got into anything and everything that you could. I knew that you would be a Ravenclaw, like your brilliant mother.

I know you, my darling. I know this will be hard. I know you will try and retreat into that shell you've created for yourself. I really hope you don't. I really hope that the change I've seen in you this year will take hold and you'll continue to smile. If that doesn't work, I hope that your friends won't let you. Lean on them, Priya. Stella, Muni, Edith, and Guinn would want you to, not to mention all of the new people who have entered your life recently.

There are a couple of things I need you to know, to remember. Know how much I love you. You are the best thing to ever happen to me, you are my joy and my reason for everything. Know that I chose to fight this war, that I chose to stand up for this cause and that I knew the possible cost but don't ever think that I would have chosen anything over you if I had any other choice. And lastly, know how absolutely proud I am of you. You are so beautiful, so smart, so responsible and the best daughter any mother could have ever wanted.

I love you.


Professor Dumbledore,

If it is alright, I would like to return to class this Monday.

Thank you,

Priya Tollop