Heyyyyyy. I'm so sorry I haven't posted in forever! Our WIFI broke down and there was no way to get it. I'm so sorry about this. I wouldn't be surprised if you're not even reading this anymore. But if you are, I want to let you know that I'm changing up my posting schedule to every other week instead of every week. A lot of stuff is happening in school, what with my graduation creeping up, and basketball has gotten even harder and more time consuming since we've entered the playoffs. And hopefully with this new schedule, I can start updating this story on time for once. On another note, we are halfway done with this story and the rest of it will be a repeat of these first 7 characters, just in a different order. So yeah, that's all I have to say right now. Hope you enjoy!

Fact of the week: Christopher Columbus was the one who introduced lemons to the U.S when he brought lemon seeds over in 1493.

Warning!: As said last time, this chapter has bits and pieces of self-harm sprinkled throughout it. If that bothers you, I'm putting warnings before each of the scenes starts + I'll summarize the entire cha[ter at the end.

Disclaimer: I own nothing yada yada yada


Okay, so, this very first chapter has self-harm in it. if you want to skip it, start reading at the second to last line in this paragraph then continue on.

Ugh. you're so stupid Andrew! You just made an awkward situation even more awkward! Now no one will ever want to be your friend ever again. Oh well. It's what I deserve for being such an awful human being. I bite my quivering lip to keep any sound from escaping. I feel my eyes sting with tears, and I let them fall down my cheeks in two perfect little rivers. I reach into my pocket and pull out my pocket knife. I've always told everyone who asked that it was just for show, that I would never hurt anyone with it. But boy, did I lie. So now not only am I a cheat who lost all of his friends, but I'm also a liar too. Great. I roll up my sleeves to reveal the scars that criss-cross my forearms. Luckily it's dark here in the theater. If it weren't, anyone who just so happened to walk by would see all the bad things that I've done. I take a deep breath and lower the cold, sharp metal to my skin. Let's start small. I think. I'm honestly terrified every time I do this. I'm scared knowing that I'm one of those people who would hurt themselves on purpose. I want to stop, I really do, but physical pain seems like the only way to get rid of the emotional pain. I make two small, shallow stab wounds right below my hand, wincing as I go. Then I draw a smile to complete the face. There, I think, a smiley face to always remind me to plaster on a smile, no matter how fake. I ready my blade to keep cutting when I hear the doors crash open behind me. I jump, a dive into a row of seats in the audience.

"Andrew! Andrew where are you!" My eyes widen as I recognize the voice as Miguels. I duck down lower in the seats, hoping Miguel will move on and not look too thoroughly. As I wait, I pull my sleeves over my arms, so that on the off chance that I am found, no one will see what I've been doing. I hear Miguel's footsteps get louder as he grows ever nearer. I hold my breath, not daring to make a single sound that could disclose my location. I look under the chairs and can see Miguel's shoes moving up and down the row of chairs. If he were to do that in my row, he'd find me for sure. I hold my breath until I can hold it no more. I inhale sharply, trying to keep my noise level quick and quiet. Apparently, it wasn't quiet enough. I hear Miguel's footsteps pause.

"Andrew?" He whispers out, "I know you're here." I silently curse myself. I'm so stupid. Why did I have to go and breathe so loudly! Now he's not going to go away. Why do you always have to mess up? Stupid, stupid, stupid. Before I know it, the tears have started again. My cheeks that have finally dried themselves are wet again as two waterfalls violently rage down my face. I can't help the small sobs that I tried to choke down. I hope against hope that Miguel didn't hear that, but it's in vain. I see Miguel at the end of the row I'm hiding in. He's standing in the aisle and staring straight ahead as if he can tell that I don't want anyone to see me right now. He sits down and starts picking at the carpet that lines the aisle. I pull myself up from my current position squished underneath the chairs, dragging my knees to my chest to hide my face as I continue to cry. We sit in silence for a few minutes, the only sound between us my choked sobs. Finally, Miguel must've decided that he's had enough and he clears his throat a few times before speaking.

"It's okay, Andrew. Everythings going to be okay. Trust me." Those last two words are my breaking point. All the anger at myself I've kept bottled up inside me since the accident finally needs to be released. I don't want to explode at Miguel and make him hate me more than he already does but I can't help myself. It's like when you shake up a soda and once it reaches that certain point, it explodes. I jump up and storm over to Miguel.

"Everything will be okay?! What kind of crap is that? Maybe everything will be okay for you, but not me. You're not the reason Kyle is currently in the hospital! You're not hated by literally everyone! Even my own family hates me! My father is always telling me how he'd rather have you as his son over me!" My mouth snaps shut and my eyes widen. I've never told anyone that before. Miguel's face is even worse. He looks shocked, no mortified that something like that could ever happen. I turn around a walk deeper into the auditorium, furiously wiping away my tears.

More self-harm in this next paragraph. just skip this whole one and continue where it says "after a few minutes..."

As I half-walk half-run, I feel something sticky drip down my palm. I look down at my wrist and see the face I cut earlier smiling back at me. I try to smile back, but it comes out more like a wince. I drop my "smile" as my legs give out underneath me. I curl my knees to my chest and try to look as small as possible. Maybe if I'm small enough, the universe will overlook me and all my pain will go away. I reach into my pocket and pull my knife back out. I start making small cuts along my right knee, biting my lip the whole time to keep myself from yelping in pain. I find zero joy in making myself bleed, but I feel as though there is no other way. If only I could just painlessly disappear. Just poof out of existence. If only I could call Thanos here to lend me a hand. I feel the corners of my lips turn up in a dark smile void of any warmth.

After a few minutes, Miguel's cautiously approaching footsteps breaks the heavy silence. I hear him stop a few feet away from me. We both stay perfectly still, each waiting for the other to make the first move. Finally I decide that enough's enough and I chuckle softly, a sound that's as dark as my smile.

"What do you want Miguel?" I ask, my back still to him. "Just admit it, I'm a lousy excuse for a human being. I have no right to feel this way. After all, I was the cause behind this whole mess and I was never that close to Kyle so I shouldn't be feeling these emotions. If anything you should be the one feeling miserable since he's your friend and all." For what feels like the millionth time that day, I feel hot tears wash down my face. I let out another dark chuckle and do nothing to wipe or stop the tears. I hear Miguel shuffle closer to me and squat down. He gets so close that I can feel his hot breath before he pulls away. I can sense his hand hovering over my shoulder, but something holds him back and keeps him from touching me. Great. Now not only am I a crying mess, but Miguel apparently thinks I'm too fragile to even be touched.

"Andrew. Look at me," Miguel uses such a commanding tone that I can't help but obey. I ever so slowly turn my head until I can see his feet. He gently grabs my chin and tilts it up towards him. My eyes meet his and can't look away. His gaze is so fierce, so strong, like he has complete faith in me even though I don't. "You have every right to feel every single emotion inside you. You were tricked and betrayed by someone who you thought had your back. You were bullied into doing something you weren't comfortable with. You watched that bully hurt someone else and thought it was all your fault. I'd be extremely surprised if you didn't feel all your feelings and more. I know if I were you, I'd feel so much guilt and hate towards myself I wouldn't have been able to get up in the morning at all. The fact that you are here, and made an effort to apologize just shows how strong you are. But I want you to know that this is not your fault. You didn't make the decision to shove Kyle into the wall. You didn't choose to threaten your own teammate to steal from another player. But most importantly, you did choose to feel guilt and shame and all the other things any normal human would feel, which just goes to show how great of a person you are Andrew. And I don't want to lose you as a friend because you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. I want to be there to help you carry your burdens if you'd just let me." My heart leaps out of my chest and I need to pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming. This has got to be one of the greatest days of my life. Miguel actually wants to keep being my friend! He still likes me! I smile a real, sincere smile, and I didn't even need the cut in my wrist to remind me. Miguel smiles back just as brightly and places his hand on my shoulder. I pull him into a tight hug and let my final tears drip down my face - however this time they're tears of happiness.

"Thank you Miguel. Thank you." I whisper into his shoulder. My tears finally slow to a stop, and I take a few shuddering breaths, trying to recompose myself. Miguel just waits until I'm ready and doesn't rush anything. Finally, after seeing that I've calmed down some, he helps me up. I wince as I stretch out my legs - particularly my right one. Miguel must see my favoring my left leg, for he looks down and notices the cuts that litter my knee. Thankfully he doesn't say anything and instead just wraps my arm around his shoulder and helps me limp to the sink offstage. Thank goodness the theater kids are always running around adding finishing touches to props or costumes and always finding some mess to clean up or else we'd have to go to the sink in the boys bathroom and risk being seen.

"I have an idea," Miguel says while helping me wrap my wrist and leg. "How about we go visit Kyle together. I heard he's perfectly stable and can receive visitors."

"I'd like that," I say, another grin plastered on my face. It seems I can't stop smiling now.

"Oh thank goodness. I know I for one was scared to go on my own." I nod in agreement. "Now come on, let's get out of this dark place. It's filled with enough tears and sorrow for one day. Plus I need to find my brother and let him know I'm still alive." I laugh and together we walk - or hobble in my case - out of the auditorium. As the doors close behind us, I realize that I can breathe easier, and a huge weight has been lifted from my chest. I smile, knowing I'm no longer carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders.


For those of you who didn't read this chapter, here is your summary:

Andrew sits in a row of chairs in the auditorium (or theater, whatever you want to call it) and thought a bunch of hateful things about himself. By the time Miguel finally walks in, Andrew has already cut himself a bit. Andrew goes deathly still and tries not to make a sound. However, he can't hide the sobs that escape his throat. Miguel hears and sits in the aisle, at the edge of his row. Finally, after some silence, Miguel tries to calm Andrew down. Andrew lashes out, thinking that everyone hates him since it's his fault Kyle's in the hospital. He then runs deeper into the auditorium and harms himself once again. After a little while, Miguel finds him and talks to Andrew. Andrew says a few self-hating things and Miguel tries to get things on a better path. In the end, Miguel makes Andrew feel better and they wash off Andrew's cuts and decide to go visit Kyle in the hospital together.

I hope this was an okay summary for you guys. I'm not very good at them, but I think this one's got the jist of it. Anyways, hope you liked it and see you next chapter!