Knock knock.

...

...

...

Knock knock knock.

Zim groaned and tossed in the bed, his antenna flicked at the annoyance.

Knock knock knock knock knock.

His eyes fluttered open as he rose his head to glare at the door.

"Zim?" He heard Skoodge's voice call. "We uh… we need you out here."

Zim closed his eyes and dropped his head onto the pillow he'd been clutching, he groaned again. Slowly, he sat up in the bed and rubbed his antennae back

Knock knock knock knock-

"Yes! Fine! I'm up!" He shouted, jumping off the cot and stomping to the door. He flung it open and glared down at Skoodge.

"I said no one is to disturb me."

"Y-yes, but there's a problem in the control room." Skoodge stammered, backing away.

"What problem?" Zim snapped.


"YOU better LISTEN to MEEEE!"

"THAT'S MY CAPTAIN, YOU LITTLE, TIN MONKEY!"

Shloonktapooxis and GIR were furiously shouting over each other as the crowd gathered behind Shloonktapooxis, yelling for him to give it up. Mini-moose was quietly floating by the button he was meant to be guarding while a red-eyed GIR waved threatening finger guns at the cone. Lard Nar was sitting in his cell with his ears covered, not adding to the fight. Zim's antennae flattened against the ruckus they were all making.

"BEST STEP BACK!" GIR shrieked, rapidly waving his finger guns in big circles.

"YOU DON'T SCARE ME!"

"ENOUGH!" Zim snapped. The crowd jumped and looked up at their new captain with wide-eyed worry. Lard Nar's head snapped up and Shloonktapooxis turned to glare at Zim, with his tongue sticking out. GIR stood frozen in his threatening pose, guns still out.

"Do we have a problem?" Zim asked, slowly walking down the steps to the airlock cell.

"No! No problem!" Lard Nar shot up off the floor and leaned on the door. Shloonktapooxis's crew mates grabbed him and began yanking him back as he held his glare on Zim.

"This is mutiny! You're not the CAPtain!" The cone snapped, his mates all slapped their hands over his mouth as he struggled.

"Yes you are!" Lard Nar nodded, furiously, inside the cell. Zim glared down at him, then at the crew.

"You'd better keep that cone under control."

"He's not a problem!" Spleenk shook his head as they moved Shloonktapooxis to the back of the group.

"We'll keep a closer eye on him!" The green blob agreed, drooling pink goo. Zim, still dissatisfied, flicked his antennae and looked down at GIR, who was still frozen in place.

"GIR, you're relieved of duty."

GIR's red eyes returned to cyan as he sprinted away from his post, squealing. Zim glared back at the crew.

"Who's been piloting the ship?"

Spleenk was shoved up to the front of the group, he began to shake.

"I h-haven't had any orders. We've been drifting for almost two cycles."

Zim's antennae fell and he avoided their eyes.

"O-of course not! None of you are in any condition for anything." Zim crossed his arms and turned up his chin. "Even if we did find Red, what use would any of you be?"

"Well, how do you plan on finding Red?" The center head of the three-head challenged.

Zim pointed up at the alien. "You will speak when spoken to!"

"Gonna watch TV!" GIR shouted from behind him by the control panel. He was typing in commands, blindly, somehow managing to bring up the monitor.

"GIR! Don't touch that! You'll-."

"-a historic event. The greatest tragedy to befall all of Irk and its colonies since Operation Impending Doom. It brings me great displeasure to announce our great leaders… the Almighty Tallest, are gone."

Zim's antennae rose. It was an Irken broadcast, they were documenting the raid. GIR stuck his tongue out and changed the channel and somehow, being lightyears away from Earth, the Scary Monkey glared into the camera.

"NO! GIR! Not the monkey! Go back!" Zim sprinted up to the controls and shoved GIR out of the way to change it back.

"-most recent raid on the Massive, our beloved Tallest Purple was assassinated by an unknown assailant."

Unknown assailant? Zim scowled. The Resisty clambered over each other to earn a spot behind Zim to watch the broadcast.

"While the body of Tallest Purple has been recovered, the current whereabouts of Tallest Red are unknown. However, there were signs of struggle in the Massive's docking station, as well as traces of what has been confirmed to be Tallest Red's blood. Although no body has been recovered, we fear the worst. For the first time in Irken history, Irk is Tallestless."

Quiet murmurs behind Zim were quickly hushed with a warning glare.

"Irk is currently under the direct authority of the Control Brains who have declared martial law and announced The Great Measuring will take place in four cycles, urging all eligible tallers to return to Irk to participate."

Zim's eyes widened.

The Control Brains...

"So, where's Red?" Skoodge asked.

"The Great Measuring?" The hooded female asked. "What is that?"

"That is classified Irken information!" Skoodge shouted back at her.

"It's a height ceremony." Zim spoke slowly, seemingly deep in thought. "Tallers come from all over the empire to be measured by the Control Brains."

"What? What's going on?" Lard Nar yelled, pressing against the glass across the room, straining to listen. "I can't hear what's happening!"

"Spleenk. Man the controls." Zim turned a glare on the gangly alien, who flinched back when he spoke. "We have lightspeed, yes?"

"Y-yes, sir, but... It doesn't work for very long and it takes a while to charge."

"Fine, is it charged now?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good. We need to get to Irk."

"Irk?" Skoodge yelled, wide-eyed. The crew shared a collective gasp and Spleenk lost all coloration in his face. "Why on Irk would we need to go to Irk?"

Zim's glare darkened on Spleenk, who was frozen in fear. "DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID?" Spleenk jolted up and grabbed for the ships controls. "Steer the ship to our new coordinates, you will activate lightspeed on my command!"

Spleenk nodded his head, sinking into his shoulders. Zim began to stomp away as he was typing in their new coordinates. Skoodge made a short dash for Zim, who walked out the door with a thoughtful stare.

"Zim. You can't go to Irk! This is insane!"

"Do not question me." Zim snapped, continuing to walk, looking behind him.

"Zim. Honestly! You can't keep doing this! You know what they're going to do if they catch you on Irk? This is just as suicidal as leaping into sp-."

"Shhhh." As Zim turned a corner he suddenly halted and turned to Skoodge, smooshing a finger over his mouth and peeking around the corner again. Satisfied, he moved his hand and took Skoodge's shoulders. "Listen very closely, Skoodge. Purple was killed by an unknown assailant. Which means Red has not been able to make contact with any Irken colonies. Which means he's still in the Voot somewhere, wounded and unprotected."

"Zim, I-." Skoodge began to shake his head.

"Don't interrupt." Zim pointed, angrily, at Skoodge. "We can beat him to Irk. He would never get there in time, even if his Voot had an unlimited fuel supply. So he would have to go back to Foodcourtia to hail for help. Without Red nobody can pin me to the raid and I can enter The Great Measuring."

"Zim." Skoodge shook his head, trying to keep up. "You led the raid. People would have seen you."

"Smallers saw me. Nobody important enough, nobody that would be at the ceremony. Nobody tall enough to stop me."

"No. Zim." Skoodge chided, rubbing his forehead. "Even if we beat Red to Irk, he'd still come back and be taller than you."

Zim stared at Skoodge for a moment in thought. He tapped his fingers together and peeked around the wall again. He began to whisper, slowly.

"Skoodge. Do you remember when I was tried as a defective?"

Skoodge darted his eyes away and flattened his antennae. "Yes."

"I was found guilty." Zim nodded. "My data was supposed to be erased, but it wasn't."

"The Control Brains awarded you, they said you were the greatest Irken ever." Skoodge nodded. "But… That still doesn't make you taller than Red."

"You're right, Skoodge." Zim agreed, a sly smile spread across his face. "It doesn't."

"Zim?"

"Shhhh!" Zim hushed and peeked around the wall one more time before dragging Skoodge down the hallway with him. Skoodge quietly protested and was hushed repeatedly before he complied, trying to keep up with Zim's pace. Then he noticed Zim's arms. His wounds looked fresh, but he didn't remember Zim being so severely injured after the raid. There were still no bandages.

Zim snapped sideways into an empty room and closed the door behind him and Skoodge. Careful to have not been followed.

"Zim, your arms." Skoodge whispered, cross.

"Yes, yes, they have not healed yet, how peculiar." Zim dismissed, diverting attention. He kneeled down face to face with Skoodge.

"Listen to me, Skoodge. What I am about to tell you does not go beyond us." Zim drew near, clearly very serious. "I'm going to need your help. But if this is going to work you will have to do exactly as I say. Will you trust me, Skoodge?"

Skoodge furrowed his brow and flattened his antennae.

Zim is losing it. He thought, but Zim never really had it all in the first place. The reasonable thing to do was decline, but as Skoodge stared he could almost see the old, infamous spark in Zim's eye. Whatever he was planning, it wasn't a last ditch effort in suicide.

He hesitated, but nodded. Zim grinned.

"Excellent, here's the plan."