Remy blearily slipped his whisk-offee. Virgil's parents dropped off a fresh bottle of shit rum over the weekend, but he couldn't bring himself to drink it. That was the same brand they had together the last time he'd seen them. So he had dipped into the expensive stuff. One of Virgil's parents would have taken it by now if they really wanted it. Maybe they were fighting over it or something. But whatever. He was just going to have a couple of shots. Maybe they'd notice Virgil was gone finally. That'd be something.

Remy admired Remus's giant stompy boots as he rocked his feet back and forth on the coffee table. Remus didn't need 2 inches of goth rubber platforms. Dude was already six-foot-something. He just liked the aesthetic. Remy could agree that they were amazing. He was actually pretty surprised when Roman agreed to bring them to school for Remy. Roman was kind of suspicious that he was hiding Remus somewhere when Remy asked, but he was pretty certain Patton might have mentioned what they talked about the first time Patton came over. Roman changed his tune pretty quickly the next day, which was sus. Remy would be pissed about Patton breaking the drunk code, but it did save him from dealing with extremely upsetting assumptions and Patton wasn't even drunk, technically, to break the drunk code.

All those idiots have been fussing over him either way, which was annoying at best. Probably even if Patton didn't do whatever witchcraft happened last time that made Remy spill the beans. It's funny how people who rarely talked to him before were suddenly really interested in what he was up to and how he was doing. Remy really only texted with Patton before. Patton was a great guy to go to if you just needed to talk to somebody, though he would freak out so Remy didn't do it much. He also had medical advice, which was important. Teenager parties almost always got out of hand. Those were basically the only time he talked to Roman. But now he was getting texts from Roman and Logan along with Patton. It kind of pissed him off, even. He mostly only talked with Roman about house parties before now. Now they were almost having conversations at school.

And the Logan kid. They basically never talked unless he deemed to sit with Remy and Virgil at lunch. Now he shoots random wordy texts every other day at Remy. Logan was funny in person, though. He had a bit of a temper on him, which Remy didn't expect. He came over to Virgil's just once, probably Patton asked Logan to check on Remy, and played Mario Kart with him. He was bad at it and mad about it. He got that quiet determination Remus got when he played and his insults were amazing. The kid dropped 5 syllable words like skittles.

But he wasn't Remus or Virgil and when Logan had to leave before his father got home, Remy was so pissed at himself for having fun that he drank too much and woke up from blacking out in Virgil's bed. He wasn't sure if the punishment for himself was supposed to be the smell of Virgil, the hangover, or the beating, honestly. Remy was still walking that one off. The whisk-offe helped, though. Virgil's place was running low on grounds, so he'd have to pester someone to take him to the store for groceries soon.

Patton had joined Remy in getting drunk a second time and actually finished his drink. And Remy didn't have any kind of ultimatum this time. Which was great, because Remy felt like an absolute asshole for doing that in the harsh light of day. He was kind of glad Patton didn't finish his drink that night. It was also a good hair of the dog, even though the soda was flat. Patton was an emotional drunk, which wasn't surprising. The hugs weren't bad, though Remy was kind of afraid of breaking down again if they went on too long. Remy had been wary of Patton ever since that day, but Patton won't stop forcing spending time together. Remy was lonely- it's not like he didn't appreciate the company on some level- but Patton was no replacement for his best friends. Maybe he did need watching.

Remy was half-watching some hot doctors who fuck all the time show while he scrolled his Instagram. There was a house party tonight. He might consider pestering Roman to take Remy and keep an eye on him. Remy loved the idea of pounding music and wild dancing to drive his thoughts away. But he also didn't want to drink himself into an emergency room. As tempting as it was. He wasn't there yet. Maybe he needed a change of scenery. He didn't think any of that would really help, though. Remy was just biding his time, and he didn't know why he bothered anymore.

Remy took another sip of the extremely nice whisk-offee when some hot doctor insulted some other hot doctor for being bad in bed. He chuckled mildly, though he didn't really feel it, and kept scrolling. His party friends were having fun, it seemed. It really wasn't fair that the world moved on without Virgil and Remus. It didn't feel like Remy's world moved on, though. Remy was still stuck here in Virgil's empty house. The whiskey was upgraded, but he was still here. Without them. Without any reason to put up with all the shit he does, other than continuing to get out of bed through sheer spite.

Maybe he should go to that house party. Maybe he could just drink his spite away, too. There was school tomorrow, but he was really running out of the tolerance for putting up with it. There were no crass jokes, no shy smiles in the hall, no playful fighting at lunch. There wasn't even their dumb group chats where Virgil and Remus would post dumb memes 24/7. Seriously. What Virgil was doing thinking about slender man at 3 am was beyond Remy. It's like he didn't want to sleep. Maybe he didn't. Remus sent gross shit all day. He loved gore-or movies and would make absurdist memes out of gruesome screenshots. Remy hated waking up to those the most. But he'd do anything to see some guy trying to force his guts back in with the words 'my dick' over the guy's face and 'german tuba music' on the bloody machete of the murderer, at this point.

And that idea kind of shook him. The realization that he was desperate wasn't new, but it hit hard. Remy took a drink to steady himself and stared down into the cup. He was desperate. He was at bargaining. Patton told him about this. He wasn't ready to be at bargaining. He wanted to be back in denial. They were coming back for him… right? They had to be. But that… felt empty. He felt empty. Depression was next. But Remy was already depressed. He was depressed before they left. How the fuck was that supposed to work? He'd really rather be back at denial. He wanted to be in denial. It was a loop, right? He could loop back. Was being in denial about being not being in denial enough?

Remy got a video chat alert and sighed, answering it. Patton had been video calling him in the evenings that he couldn't come over to make sure he was okay.

"I'm still alive or whatever, what do you want, Pat?" Remy drawled sourly. The video was pretty dark and grainy, but it looked kind of like… The person in the video broke down crying immediately, sobbing out nonsensical apologies. And then the chair moved. Oh, shit. Remy didn't go to depression, he just fucking lost it.

"Hey Rem," The chair said, angling the camera up. Holy… was he in denial again? Was he hallucinating? The smaller figure kept blubbering. Remy squinted his eyes. That… he knew those bangs. "Sorry we couldn't contact you earlier," The bigger figure said.

"I… I'm hallucinating," Remy muttered, and the shadowed Remus laughed heavily, holding on to the still continuously sobbing Virgil. It was really hard to make out. The room had the red glow of sunset and the flicker of candles, but it was mostly dark shapes.

"Hey, guys, would somebody give us a lamp or something? You're not hallucinating, bud. Virgil would be there singing some indie-pop trash for you if you were hallucinating. He'd never,"

"I would for him!" Virgil growled between sobs. "Remy, god, I'm so sorry, I-" His voice broke, and he cried into Remus again.

"Thanks," Remus said, the shot getting lit a little better. It was absolutely Remus and Virgil. Remus was sitting on the floor with Virgil in his lap and they were both in robes for some reason. "Hey, I know you're concerned and all, but can you just give us some space? Virge's got allota feelings, and he's gonna freak out even worse if people crowd us, okay?" Remus said gently. Was Remus drunk? He's not gentle with other people. He scares other people for fun.

"O-of course Sir Remus," a voice off camera stammered. Sir Remus?

"Okay, so, while Virgil works breathing," Remus started tapping a breathing count on Virgil's shoulder like he used to when Virgil was freaking out. "We're really sorry. We had no idea this would happen, or there's no way you wouldn't be right here with us,"

"And where the fuck is that?" Remy shot angrily.

"We joined a cult," Remus smirked.

"What?" Remy screamed. "You're shitting me. You ran off and joined a cult?"

"Uh, that hi-end totally kills the audio, but I heard part of that. We're not shitting you. You know that thing where sometimes we get drunk and switch religions? We did that," Remus laughed again. "I know you're glowering at me and all but it's really nice to see your face, dude," Remus smiled sweetly.

"I-I can't believe you fucking idiots. Do you need me to come get you?" Remy asked, exasperated.

"No!" Remus shot suddenly. "No, we're… we're good here. It's really fuckin' great, Remy. Everybody's so nice and there's real hot food every night and people don't treat us like we're idiots or dangerous. We… we asked, and we were hoping maybe you would join us, actually," Remus explained a little sheepishly.

"I miss you so much, Remy," Virgil hiccuped. "I just want to see you again so bad, I'm so sorry I'm being so selfish after being such an asshole and leaving you all alone with that bastard. I'm the absolute worst, I'm so sorry-" Virgil started rambling and Remus hugged him harder and gently scratched the back of Virgil's head while he broke down crying again.

"You… want me to join a cult?" Remy asked. "You realize how insane that sounds, right?" Remy drawled derisively. This had to be some kind of hallucination, right?

"Okay, you know we're not fans of that language, so I'm assuming you're drunk," Remus said solemnly, though there was a small gleam of humor in his eye.

"You know it, babe," Remy winked. "Got my ass beat for hanging out here at Virgil's house and I needed a painkiller," Virgil sobbed even harder somehow. God damn, he wasn't sure he'd ever seen Virgil cry that hard. "So, assuming I'm not hallucinating, since, uh, I don't know if my brain could even conjure an image of you being nice and Virgil sobbing like the world is ending, how the fuck did you join a cult at 3 am in the suburbs?" Remy asked, completely gobsmacked by this entire thing. "Wait, hold up, before you explain, is this like a thing somebody in denial would do? Hallucinate their missing best friends finally calling him after 2 weeks?"

"I can't speak for everybody, but not for me. Sounds like a pretty complex hallucination for a drunk person, anyway. It's not the first time we've joked about joining a cult, but we can always get someone to come over here and a face you don't know and your brain wouldn't come up with could verify it with you. Hey, Felton! Pause the damn game and get over here!"

"But-" A teenage boy voice objected off-screen.

"Are you seriously questioning me right after the ceremony? Because I will give you babysitting duty the next time the weed comes out-" Remus started.

"Fine! I'm sorry, geez," The voice called. A brown-robed figure stood behind him. "What do you want, Sir Remus?" he groaned.

"Virgil is literally crying in my lap, maybe you need to work on your freaking empathy, man. Tell the guy on the screen your name and tell him you're real and he's not hallucinating," Remus said. The figure squatted down and a kid with mousy brown hair huffed.

"My name's Felton, you're not hallucinating, I'm real and you're interrupting my practice time on rainbow road," He groaned.

"That's it, your time goes to Thorn for being an asshole. Thorn!" Remus shouted. "You get the controller! Felton, you can go bitch with Layfaette, she's moping on the terrace thing about you getting there first. Maybe you'll remember the freakin' texts next time," The kid looked super pissed and huffed off. There was a cheer from another teenaged boy's voice.

"Thanks, Sir Remus! I'll try to get you extra bacon tomorrow!" The voice said.

"Don't bribe me for favors, dude, I don't want to have to turn down bacon," Remus grunted. Alright, Remy wasn't quite sure what was happening, but he could agree that he probably wasn't hallucinating since there's no way his brain could possibly come up with all this. Another brown-robed boy quickly squatted behind Remus and waved.

"Hi, I'm Thorn and you're not hallucinating! Sorry Felton was an ass, he's usually chill. Is it okay with you if I give Felton my time tomorrow? I don't want him to fall behind before the tournament," This Thorn kid asked. What a name.

"Yeah, of course. Don't tell him till tomorrow though, let him stew in it for a bit. Honestly, if they're both mad, he might get laid, so he may not care," Remus said. Thorn laughed and got up, leaving the screen. "Okay, sorry. We just got electricity today, and There's a lot of people in the sanctuary. Lord Damien's out of commission and I have to make sure they all play nice. Harmony and shit is important here," Remus explained.

"Remus, babe, I feel like I'm drowning I'm so confused," Remy said. He picked up his mug of whisk-offee and examined it closely. Was there something in this whiskey?

"Don't drown!" Virgil shot suddenly. "Don't-" Virgil hiccuped again and sniffled.

"Okay, so you know how we were talkin' about dragons all night?" Remus asked.

"Yeah?" Remy intoned with deep concern. Oh, this isn't the way any conversation he'd understand started. This might be the first time he's ever regretted getting drunk.

"So we were dowsing for dragon lines. They're also called Ley lines. You know, like they had and that cool Ghostbusters remake? And, uh, I guess we just followed were some sticks told us to go or something. Virge and I can't actually remember this part. But we found some Dragon lines. And a dragon cult. That we joined," Remus explained. Remy didn't feel any less confused, though.

"Remy, if we had any idea we were gonna run off and join a cult that night I swear I would have forced you to come with," Virgil sniffled. "Are… are you okay? Please tell me you're okay. It… it looks like you're in my house, right? You're getting to eat food and stuff?" Virgil asked, sounding desperate.

"Yeah, I'm eating your food and drinking the good stuff," Remy smiled, lifting his mug. Virgil gave him a really weak smile.

"I know we don't deserve this. I know we've left you all alone with that… that fucker and you deserve to be mad at us… but… would you want to come? We can get somebody to pick you up the next time they go into town. You don't ever have to see his face again, and the school classes are laid back and the jobs are all real and not super high pressure and there's mead every night to chill out with-" Virgil started rambling again and Remus gripped his shoulder.

"Hold up, babe. Stop right there," Remy said. He… he was too drunk to process this. He put down his phone and went to go get a cup of water. He downed it and washed his face with cold water in the sink. Remy walked back to the couch and turned off the TV, then picked back up the phone. Virgil was sobbing again, and Remus was rubbing circles on his back.

"Hey, I told you he'd be back. He didn't hang up, see?" Remus said softly to Virgil. Virgil turned around and smiled sadly.

"Remy!" Virgil choked. "I… I thought-"

"I'm just… so very drunk. And I thought you asked me to join a cult. And that's supposed to be a good thing," Remy said, blinking in bafflement.

"We did, and it is," Remus nodded. "Do you want to join us, or what?"