- Chapter five – the hobnob -
Rey Skywalker: Hi!
Ben Solo: Hi.
Rey Skywalker: Our first instant messenger conversation!
Ben Solo: Ah, is misusing company software the new frontier in this stage of our relationship as friendly co-workers?
Rey Skywalker: You got it! But don't worry, my messaging has a purpose. And I assure you, it's entirely business related.
Ben Solo: Oh, my apologies. Please, proceed with your query.
Rey Skywalker: Thank you.
Rey Skywalker: Do you any Hobnobs left?
Ben Solo: …
Ben Solo: How do you know about my biscuit stash?
Rey Skywalker: Please. I can smell an oat-y chocolatey treat a mile away, and it's not like you can eat them silently. Why, are they supposed to be a secret?
Ben Solo: Sort of. I don't eat a lot of junk food.
Rey Skywalker: Well, obviously.
Ben Solo: Why obviously?
Rey Skywalker: Stop changing the subject. Do you confirm or deny the presence of leftover Hobnobs in your desk?
Ben Solo: I think you'll find you're the one changing the subject.
Rey Skywalker: That's it, I'm coming over.
A few minutes later, as I dunk my hard-won Hobnob into my afternoon cup of tea, I let a little smile creep over my face. Who thought this week would start with me and Ben Solo on positively pleasant terms?
"Something funny, Rey?"
The unfriendly, clipped tone of Mr Hux comes from my right. He's on one of his bizarre patrols of the Editorial floor that he keeps trying to convince us all are normal.
"Nope. Just enjoying my biscuit and tea while updating some spreadsheets, sir."
"Yes, we can always expect to find you eating something at your desk, Rey. You'd better watch out – a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips, right?"
I blink, not sure how to respond. I'm not insecure about my body, but having a superior comment on my weight and eating habits like that feels slightly wrong. I'm sure the familiar pink stain is sweeping over my cheeks.
Searching for a response, I glance over at Ben. He's staring at his screen, apparently not listening. Huh.
I eventually build my courage back up snap back at Mr Hux. "I'm sorry, sir? Is there a problem with me eating at my desk?"
Mr Hux glares down at me, clearly annoyed. "For now, take it as a piece of friendly advice. You might be able to get away with it while you're young, but you won't be young forever. You should really consider putting more effort into your diet. And your appearance in general, while we're at it."
Shock quickly gives way to anger. I hear a snapping noise to my left, and turn to see Ben still just sitting there, eyes not straying from him screen. I look for the source of the noise and notice that the pencil he is holding in his hand is in two pieces. I don't have time to figure that out right now.
I try and stop my voice from getting louder, but I'm having trouble controlling my temper. "Mr Hux, with all due respect, I don't see how-"
But before I can finish, Ben's voice interrupts me, his voice quiet but authoritative. "I would advise you to manage your tone when speaking to a superior, Rey."
I freeze. My mouth hangs open, my heart hammering in my chest with anger. Despite myself, I feel completely betrayed, although I shouldn't have expected any different. To hell with friendly co-workers, I guess.
I've never been one to back down from a fight, but I can't risk losing my job.
Resigned, I nod, tears prickling at my eyes.
"You're right. I'm sorry, Mr Hux. I'll keep your…advice...in mind."
He gives me a horrible, smug smile, before glancing over at Ben approvingly. "Please do."
And he's walking off, his back stiff, his head held high. I slowly spin back towards my computer, feeling everyone's pitying eyes on me. As I look at the rest of the biscuit sitting on my desk, I can't imagine anything I want to eat less. I sadly sweep it into my office wastepaper bin, biting my lower lip to stop it from wobbling.
I will not cry at my desk, I will not cry at my desk-
"Actually, Armitage? Could I speak to you for a second?"
Ben's voice startles me as I run my cool hand over my face. Armitage… it takes me a second. Oh God. Mr Hux's first name.
My head snaps up in time to see Ben walking away from me and along the rows of desks towards Mr Hux, who has stopped in his tracks to let him catch up. They start walking away together and I can't hear of of their conversation. They slowly leave my view.
I run my hand through my hair. Perhaps they're friends. Perhaps Ben has changed his mind about reporting me to HR. Perhaps they're bonding over their apparent mutual hatred for me.
I sigh. I really thought things were going to be different.
I'll write to some authors. That always cheers me up.
As I sigh, flipping my notes book open, I wonder if maybe there's a nugget of truth in what Mr Hux is saying. Maybe I do need to get it together. Maybe I do eat too many sweet treats.
When Ben casually sits back down at his desk opposite me without a word a few minutes later, I say nothing, making sure to avoid his eye-line. From now on, we will just be silent co-workers who never speak. I'm done trying with someone who is never going to give anything back.
An hour later, an email pings into my inbox that sends a rush of horror down my spine.
FROM: HR
SUBJECT LINE: A reminder about appropriate conversations in the workplace
Had I guessed right? Had Ben reported me after all, after a chat with his new bestie Hux? My gaze snaps towards him, my sense of betrayal no doubt already written all over my face. He was already looking at me – his eyes are tentative. When he sees my expression, he glances away, looking almost embarrassed.
Feeling ill, I open the email. I notice right away that the email is addressed to everyone in the company, not just me. Oh, God.
Taking a deep breath, I start to skim the email. After a moment, my dread turns to confusion.
"This is a friendly reminder that the appearance and personal habits of your co-workers are not appropriate topics for conversation in the workplace, particularly not when that discussion is happening between superiors and their employees. Further, appearance and personal habits should not be considered as factors for professional evaluation if they are not directly affecting the performance of said employee."
"Oh no." I breathe it aloud without meaning to. I notice people are starting to look at me again.
"Something wrong?" I look up at the sound of Ben's voice. It's softer than usual – he looks genuinely concerned.
I temporarily forget to shun him. "Have you seen this email from HR?"
"Uh, yes."
"Well, I didn't send a complaint to HR."
"…OK."
"People are going to think I did."
"Ah. Well-"
"Mr Hux is going to kill me. Oh my-"
"Rey, no, listen-"
But before I can finish my sentence, I feel rather than see someone approach me from behind. I look up to see the very unwelcome face of Mr Hux, again. I close my eyes and exhale, waiting for those fatal words, clean out your desk…
"Rey. I just came over to… personally apologise for my comments earlier. My behaviour was inappropriate, and I hope you can forgive me."
I'm gobsmacked. I've never heard Mr Hux apologise for anything. As I look more closer at his face, I notice he looks even paler than usual – he looks ill. Something has seriously shaken him up.
"Oh- Mr Hux-"
His voice drops to a whisper. "I hope the note I anonymously sent to HR about the situation will prevent anyone else from making my mistake."
I pause. "The note you sent?"
"Yes. I don't want anyone who might have witnessed our conversation to get the wrong idea about… how to behave in the workplace. I set a bad example. Again, Rey, I can only apologise."
His words sound strange –almost scripted. I narrow my eyes in suspicion.
"Well, Mr Hux… I appreciate that, thank you."
He nods, and I see his eyes slide over to look behind me. I turn slightly and see his gaze meet Ben's. They just stare at each other for a moment, and finally, Ben nods.
Mr Hux sighs. "OK. Great. Well, I've done my part. I trust that this won't come up again."
His change in tone irritates me, but I decide to let it go anyway. I can't even believe he's actually apologised- I should quit while I'm ahead.
I nod. "Absolutely. Consider it forgotten."
He smiles tightly, but I see that same pure hatred in his eyes. "Fantastic."
He strides away, and I release the breath I didn't realise I was holding. I have no idea what has just happened. This is such a strange day.
I delete the HR email from my inbox, and look over at the clock. Nearly 5:00pm. Thank goodness for that.
It's only as I pack up my things that all the pieces slot together in my brain. Mr Hux's look to Ben. The email, his oddly stilted tone, their conversation-
I let out a quiet laugh. I feel Ben glance up as me.
"Mr Solo."
"…Yes?"
"What did you do?"
He chuckles nervously. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Yes, you so do."
"I really don't."
"Well, it certainly seemed like Mr Hux had an epiphany after our conversation. I wonder what could have brought him to such a sudden change of heart."
"Who knows. I suppose threatening to report him to the CEO could have had that effect."
My eyes widen. "What?"
Ben looks away, looking embarrassed again. "But as I said, I didn't do anything, so… I wouldn't know."
I sit frozen in my chair, my mind reeling. Ben Solo fought for me. I feel a rush of heat in my chest, but I'm still angry.
"You know, I don't usually need people to fight my battles for me." I pause. "Actually, you know what, I would also prefer that people didn't throw me the bus during the actual battle, only do to a sneaky thing later where it turns out they actually are on my side. I find that very confusing. And kind of weird."
Ben definitely looks embarrassed now. He brushes his fingers through his hair, agitated. "I don't doubt for a second that you can fight your own battles. And I'm sorry for not doing anything at the time, and for acting so strange. In a perfect world, I would have let you go ahead and tell him exactly what you think of his...comments. But, he's - volatile. And I didn't think… I didn't think it was worth losing your job over."
I think about it, and it almost makes sense. He really was trying to help. I feel a weight lift rom my chest.
Eventually, I can't hold back a little smile. "Well, whoever, did say something… that was pretty nice of them. They must be a really great guy."
His eyes meet mine again, and he smiles back at me, relieved. "Or girl. Remember, we don't know who it was."
I laugh. "Of course."
I finish packing up my bag, and slip on my coat. Even though he's always in before me, he always leaves after me as well. Making us all look bad, the jerk.
I'm not sure how to say bye to him – I feel like our relationship has completely changed multiple times in the space of 8 hours. I finally settle for a smile and a salute.
"Friendly co-workers."
He looks up, and begrudgingly, salutes back. "Friendly co-workers."
"Have a good night, Mr Solo."
"Actually, Rey, about that – it seems like, once again, you find yourself indebted to me. In light of that, I'd like to ask you for another favour."
I raise my eyebrows. "I thought it wasn't you who-"
"Shut up. So, the favour?" His tone is playful, but there's something in his eyes that makes me nervous.
"Well, let's hear what it is first."
"Oh, what are you scared I'm going to do? Say you have to be my servant for the day?"
I bite my lip, repressing a million mental images. "I'm just being cautious. Only an idiot would say yes to a favour without knowing what it was."
He laughs. I'm still not used to it when he does that. "Fair enough." He pauses, deep in thought. "Can you please stop calling me Mr Solo? Just... just Ben is fine."
I'm startled. To be honest, I had forgotten I was still calling him that out loud. In my head, he's always been Ben. "OK, sure. May I ask why?"
He considers my question for a moment. "Many reasons. I don't feel a lot of connection to my last name, mainly. Mr Solo is my dad. That's not me."
I wasn't expecting that. "I actually... understand that."
His eyes return to mine. "Really?"
"Oh, yeah. More than you can imagine."
"Huh." He smiles. "I'm glad you get it. Not everyone does."
"And the other reasons?" I'm being nosy, and I know it, but Ben Solo is actually talking to me about himself and I'm not going to waste this opportunity.
"Uh…" His eyes avoid mine again. "I just… I don't really like it when you call me that. You specifically."
"Oh?"
"It just feels… strange."
"OK." I sense he's met his sharing limit, so I back off. "Fair enough… Ben."
He smiles, his eyes thankful. "Well, have a good night…Rey."
As I head home, I can't stop replaying the events of the day, smiling despite myself. Look at how far we've come in a week – from silence and glaring to jokes! Actual, friendly jokes!
And the best and most confusing part of all. I bite down on my lip, feeling something that feel suspiciously like butterflies in my stomach.
Ben Solo fought for me.
Why would he do that?
NOTE: sorry for the delay with this one - took a little break but excited to be back with more angst and misunderstandings than ever! See you all soon with a new chapter! :)
