Inhale…
Exhale…
Inhale…
Frank is going to kill me…
Exhale.
March 1976. Hogwarts.
It was a cool Sunday morning, the air holding a slight chill in the vast corridors of the castle. Remus and his friends made their way down to the Great Hall for breakfast. A breeze swept over the stone floor and Remus pulled his knitted cardigan closer around his body, wishing for a small sign of summer.
James was talking animatedly about the people they had met at the wedding the night before. He hadn't stopped since they had all returned to the castle, except for the few hours while he was asleep.
Remus welcomed the break, even though he enjoyed listening to James the fanboy. He didn't get much sleep at all last night, his mind racing, his skin tingling, his mind drowning with thoughts of her. How she felt in his arms, how she smelt when he leaned in close, how she tasted when her lips touched his.
He wanted to see her. His heartbeat picked up at the mere thought of seeing her this morning.
"Earth to Remus!" Sirius yelled jumping in front of Remus.
Remus walked right into Sirius, sending them both sprawling across the stone floor.
"Where's your head at mate!?" James laughed helping Sirius up off the floor.
"Sorry, uhm… I was just," Remus stammered as he took Peter's hand and hoisted himself up.
"Girl on your mind?" Sirius asked wagging his eyebrows and leaning right in, close to Remus' face.
Remus pulled back a little and sighed, "Yeah…"
"I knew it! Little moony-boy is in love!" Sirius declared jumping up onto one of the noble wizard statues in the corridor.
James and Peter laughed and Remus just rolled his eyes.
"Black! Get off there immediately!" The four boys turned towards the shrill shout, McGonagall was striding down the corridor towards them. Next to her was a short plump woman dressed in all pink with a pale round squashed face covered in too much make-up.
"Yes, ma'am!" Sirius said jumping off the statue.
"Is this school completely filled with delinquents now? I do say Minerva, I remember Hogwarts being a place of magic and learning, not a playground for tomfoolery," the short pink woman said.
McGonagall rolled her eyes, "I'll have you know that these four boys are amongst the brightest in their year, and-"
"Hmm," she said cutting McGonagall off, "is that so? Doesn't say much for the rest of the year now does it." The witch laughed, short and silvery, it made the hair on the back of Remus' neck stand on end.
James and Sirius frowned at each other. McGonagall glared at the witch lips pursed as if she was about to assault her with a string of choice words.
"Ah Minerva, Dolores, there you are," Dumbledore's calming voice washed over the space, "I was wondering where you two had gone off to."
Dumbledore billowed down the hallway, pale grey robes moving around him like liquid. Closely followed by Mad-Eye Moody and Alina.
Remus' gaze snapped to her and soon as she came into view but she didn't look at him. Her eyes were glued to the witch in pink.
"Albus, we were just getting acquainted with this bunch of rascals."
"Why yes, I can see that," Dumbledore said.
The witch turned towards Dumbledore's party, face on, "Alistor, Alina," she greeted coolly.
"What is an old bat like you doing here ey?" Moody growled walking right up to her.
She wrinkled her face at the closeness, "I'm preparing for when I come back in the new school year, I am the Ministry appointed career advisor after all," she said matter-of-factly.
"Why ye need a career advisor for? They should all become Aurors or Healers, with the war carrying on there's no place for anything else."
"Well actually, Alistor you are quite incorrect. We have far too many Aurors as it is and if you send them all to become Aurors then you are just feeding the war and once the war is over what will they become then? I'm not about to waste talent like that." She looked directly at Alina when she spoke the last couple words, Alina's eyes narrowed at her.
"Well then, why don't I show you where the office is for visiting Ministry officials is? I'm sure you'll find it quite lovely," Dumbledore said leading the witch down the corridor.
She stopped and turned towards Remus and his friends, "What year are you boys in?"
"Our fifth," James said crossing his arms across his chest.
"Oh how wonderful," she said and clapped her hands together, "I'll see you all at the beginning of the new school year. You can be like my pet project!"
Dumbledore pulled her away and once they were around the corner and out of sight, McGonagall sighed.
"Who was that?" Sirius asked.
"Dolores Umbridge," Moody growled as if that was supposed to answer all their questions.
"Ministry issued career advisor, when I was in my sixth year she told me to either become a librarian or a stay at home witch. You should've seen her face when I told her I was becoming an Auror," Alina said venom dripping off her words.
"Oh, I remember that I also remember her telling Jojo Wonderling that he'd never become a professional Quidditch Player," McGonagall said.
James' bottom jaw dropped, almost hitting the floor, "Jojo Wonderling!? Like thee Jojo Wonderling! The Chudley Cannons Wonderboy Wonderling!? Like the greatest Slytherin Quidditch player to ever go pro after Hogwarts!? And she told him he'd never be a pro!?"
Alina smiled at James, "Let's just say he didn't take it well."
"Thank Merlin no one actually listens to her," McGonagall said.
"Why does she still come here?" Alina asked.
McGonagall shrugged, "It's the Ministry, they insist and Dumbledore says yes to keep them and the governors happy. We just trust that we've taught our students well enough to know themselves and their strengths."
"Hmm," Moody gruffed turning to leave, "C'mon Ravenclaw time for us to get back to the office and plan before we leave."
"You're leaving?" McGonagall asked, narrowing her eyes at Alina.
"Only for a bit on Friday, but I won't be away long," Alina called as she chased after Moody who was already out the door.
Remus watched her, their eyes met just before she turned the corner. She smiled slightly and he smiled back.
"So where are you four off to? Out to cause trouble?" McGonagall asked.
"Nope, just off to get breakfast," Peter declared.
"Very well, off you go," She said.
The four of them wandered into the Great Hall. James walked ahead directly towards where Lily was sitting. He snaked his arms around her and hugged her from behind. He kissed her cheek and whispered into her ear. Lily was sitting across from Marlene and Lesley. Remus stopped when Lesley smiled at him.
"Who would've ever thought, Remus Lupin. Juggling two beautiful women," Sirius said with a laugh.
Remus shrugged him off and went to sit beside Lesley.
"Morning," she whispered softly to him.
"Hi," he said smiling at her.
"How was the wedding?"
His mind went blank, his mind haunted with the image of Alina.
"It was pretty fun, James here was embarrassing us with his constant gawking over the people that used to go to Hogwarts," Sirius said with a mouth full of cereal.
"I wasn't that bad," James huffed.
"The cake was amazing," Peter said, dreamy look in his eye.
"And you Remus?" Marlene asked.
Remus cleared his throat, "Yeah it was fun, the ceremony was stunning and then the party was fun, we didn't stay all that long though."
"Dance with anyone?" Marlene asked eyes flitting between James and Remus.
"Not that anyone cares, but I hardly ever left the dance floor," Sirius said proudly.
"Dancing by yourself doesn't count," Marlene snarked.
"Hey, I wasn't-"
"James? Remus? Any interesting dance partners?" Marlene asked cutting Sirius off.
"Nope, I missed this beauty the whole night," He said looking at Lily making her blush.
Peter snorted, "Yeah sure, in between all the people you were fawning over."
Lily giggled while James dragged his fingers through his hair, making it messier than it already was.
"And you Remus?" Marlene asked an eyebrow raised, not letting the subject die.
"Uhm well actually yeah. I danced with Alina."
"The Auror?" Lily asked.
"I didn't realize you two were on a first-name basis," Marlene said.
"Yeah you lot seem to know the Aurors really well, compared to all the other students here," Lesley said eyeing Remus.
"You know us, always getting into trouble, besides she's Frank's friend and we love the guy. She's just kinda been around," Sirius said with a shrug.
"Is that all it is?" Marlene asked looking directly at Remus who nearly chocked on his pumpkin juice.
"What are you trying to get at Marlene?" James asked.
"Just curious… That's all."
There was a long pause where the boys shared a confused look.
"She's like ridiculously pretty," Marlene said stirring her cup of tea.
"Yeah, sure if you're into that kinda thing," Sirius snorted.
"I think she's pretty," Peter said.
"Yeah Pete probably would've danced with her too if he wasn't so busy looking for more cake," Sirius said.
"Mmm-hmm, she asked the three of us why we weren't dancing," Peter said pointing between himself, Remus and James, "James said he would be if Lily was there, Remus said he wasn't a fan of dancing and I said I would after I was done with my cake, but by the time I was done with my cake we had to leave cause Hogwarts curfew. So only Remus got to dance with her."
Remus and Sirius frowned at Peter. Peter just nodded.
Remus shook his head slightly, "Yeah we danced for a bit and it was fun."
Marlene opened her mouth to speak when a loud shout interrupted her, "Potter!"
They all turned to the loud voice. Jeremy the seeker for the Hufflepuff team came waltzing over to them. James stood and greeted Jeremy with a handshake.
"Hey mate, how was your match yesterday? I'm sorry I missed it."
"It was killer, the Slytherin team destroyed us. So looks like you'll be playing Ravenclaw in the final in a couple weeks," Jeremy said.
"Damn, well, better luck next year. The Slytherin team is pretty weak they just have an ace for one of their chasers, but Jackson is in his seventh year and I don't think there's anyone good enough to take his place next year."
"Yeah, true. We really thought we had it, we even caught the snitch but that guy is just too fast for our defence."
James clapped Jeremy on the shoulder.
"Do you have a strategy on how to take on Ravenclaw?"
"I'm not worried, my team's been training hard and from what I've seen this season Ravenclaw hasn't been as strong as they could be."
"True, well anyway we'll be watching come next weekend."
"Thanks mate!" James was about to turn back to the group when a certain Slytherin caught his eye.
James nudged Sirius, "Hey, what do you think those two are up to?"
"Hmm?" Sirius hummed mouth full of toast. He looked in the direction that James was facing.
Just off from the entrance to the Great Hall, Regulus and Severus were arguing. Sirius narrowed his eyes, "Interesting…"
Severus poked Regulus in the chest and stormed off. Regulus watched him leave over his shoulder, rubbing his chest where he had been poked.
Once Severus was out past the door Sirius was up and walking towards his brother.
Regulus turned and spotted Sirius coming towards him. He sighed as Sirius reached him, "Not now Sirius, I'm really not in the mood."
"Hey, I just want to check that you're alright…"
Regulus rolled his eyes and started walking away, Sirius grabbed his arm and pulled him back. Their eyes met, Sirius silently pleading with him.
"Fine come with me, there's something you should know."
Sirius frowned but followed his brother out into the courtyard.
James turned back towards the table after watching Sirius and Regulus leave.
"That was strange," Peter said still looking at the door.
"It's been a strange couple weeks…" Remus said with a shrug.
The table fell into a comfortable silence for a couple minutes.
"Soooo, back to the wedding," Marlene said in a sing-song voice.
James groaned, "It was a wedding, it was fun, we had a good time. Frank and Alice are married and it was cute and we're happy for them. There's nothing else to tell."
"Why getting so defensive Jamie?" Marlene teased.
"Marlene, c'mon what are you trying to get at?" Lily asked frowning at her.
"Ok fine, all cards on the table. I have a feeling-"
Lesley groaned and rolled her eyes, "Joy another 'feeling'," she said mocking tone.
"No, but seriously, you three and Sirius are super tight with the Aurors, and I just can't help but wonder what else might be going on…"
"Really? So we're being interrogated because you think what? One of us is in a secret relationship with an Auror who's at least 5 years older than us, is part of one of the most well-known families ever and is one of the most powerful witches ever?" Peter said in a rush.
Remus frowned and closed his eyes for a moment. James pursed him lips gaging the girls' reactions.
Lily and Lesley both looked at Peter eyebrows raised. Marlene, on the other hand, was watching Remus.
"Well… anyway. Look Marly, we've known each other for what? Forever almost, you and I knew each other even before Hogwarts. I know you get feelings about things but honestly, we're just really close with Frank, we got caught up in a Death Eater attack a while back and he helped us through it. He and Alina are partners so while we were with him she was there too, so we all, I dunno bonded I guess. Nothing weird or otherwise," James said.
Marlene's face softened and she sat back slightly.
"I believe you."
"Good," James said, sharing a look with Remus.
After a few second of silence, Lesley cleared her throat, "So what's she like? The infamous Ravenclaw Auror?"
"She's pretty cool actually, a lot more down to earth than you'd expect I suppose," Remus said.
"Really? And all the rumours about her? True or untrue?" Lily asked.
"Guess it depends which ones you're talking about," James said.
"I heard that they call her the Blue Phoenix, mad powerful and beautifully dangerous," Lesley said.
They all laughed at her. "Well if anyone has a thing for the Auror I think it's Lesley," Peter said with a chuckle.
"I wonder why Phoenix though… shouldn't it be an eagle-like her family crest," Lily mussed.
"It's probably just because it's a powerful bird. Maybe she likes using fire spells against Death Eaters," James said quickly.
"Well speak of the devil," Lesley said looking at the entrance to the Great Hall.
They all looked towards the doors Alina stood there, eyes scanning the room. She spotted their small group and started walking towards them.
"We can just ask her why she's called the Blue Phoenix!" Marlene said excitedly.
"What no, don't do that," James hissed.
Marlene frowned at him, "C'mon why not?"
Alina came up and stopped just behind James. "Hi, sorry I don't want to interrupt," she said eyeing them.
"Alina right can I ask you something? You don't mind me calling you Alina do you?" Marlene asked.
"Uhm sure…" Alina said tentatively.
"So we heard, through the whispers that they call you the Blue Phoenix? And we were curious as to why?"
Alina smirked, "I've been called many things. Some more attractive than others. The Blue Phoenix has been one of the most creative ones but interesting that you would've heard it since I've only been called that by Death Eaters. There something you want to tell me?" Alina narrowed her eyes at Marlene.
Marlene and Lesley both paled instantly. "Uhm, well I just heard it from… uhm…" Lesley stammered.
Alina burst out laughing, "Relax I'm messing with you. It's a great story of how I got that specific name, maybe I'll tell you about it one day but right now I need to talk to Remus."
Her face turned serious as she looked at him, he frowned and stood up, "yeah sure. We can talk."
Regulus kept walking, they had almost reached the edge of the forest when he stopped suddenly. Sirius almost bumped into him. Regulus turned, hands on his hips head slightly bowed. His feet kicking a stone on the ground.
"What is it Reg? you know you can tell me anything," Sirius said reaching out, putting a hand on his brother's shoulder.
Regulus looked up at him, eyebrows knitted together, "You promise you won't keep anything from me?"
"Of course."
Regulus took a deep breath, "Is Remus a werewolf?"
Sirius' heart almost stopped, "Wha… what are you talking about?"
"Don't play dumb Sirius, yes or no. Is Remus a werewolf?"
Sirius frowned and took a deep breath after a long pause he spoke again, "That isn't really my place to say…"
"So that's a yes," Regulus said nodding.
"Reg, it's never been my secret to tell. But since you seem to know…" they're eyes connected and Sirius nodded, eyes dropping to the ground.
"How long? How long have you known?"
"A couple years now…"
"And you're still friends with him?"
Sirius frowned, "He's still the same person, better than most. The wolf doesn't change that."
Regulus laughed humorlessly, "Yeah, he's doesn't seem the type does he."
"What does that mean?"
"Nothing…"
"Wait, so how did you know?"
"The Death Eaters… They know. They're planning on attacking the school, they want to use him during the full moon. I don't know the details but Severus and I were tasked with slipping him I don't know some weird potion that is supposed to make him more aggressive or something. I don't know how the whole werewolf thing is supposed to work."
Sirius took a step back, he looked up at the school.
"When?"
"The next full moon, we're supposed to give him the potion over five days before the night of the full moon and then on the night find him and lure him back to the castle and then… let him in."
"Wait. Just one second. You're speaking as if you're apart of their ranks."
"Sirius," Regulus warned.
"No don't Sirius me, you asked me to be real with you, I deserve the same curtsey. What have you gotten yourself into?"
Regulus sighed, "You wouldn't understand. You're not at home anymore you don't know what it's like."
"Then tell me, help me understand."
"Fine, you want me to tell you? Here you go," Regulus ripped the sleeve of his jumper up revealing his forearm, he turned it over and there etched into the tan skin was the dark inky marking resembling an entwined snake and skull.
Sirius looked at the mark, he reached out, Regulus flinched slightly. Sirius' eyes darted up to his brother's face. Regulus was frowning down at the mark. Sirius touched the mark, the skin around it was raised and red.
"The skin looks irritated, was it sore?"
"Excruciating, it's been like that for weeks. Apparently, it only heals properly once your loyalty has been proven…"
Sirius took a deep breath, "Which is why you have to aggravate the school werewolf."
Regulus shrugged.
"How did they know about him?"
"Greyback told them years ago. When he was recruited he gave them a list of all the people he had changed or knew of."
Sirius shook his head, "It's Remus, he's just… he's just Remus. They can't do this to him."
"We need to figure out how to protect him."
"You want to help us?"
"I've always liked Remus. When they told me it was him, I didn't believe them. He's nothing like the other werewolves I've met."
Sirius knelt down and dragged his hands through his hair.
"You alright?" Regulus asked.
"No," Sirius mumbled. He looked up from where he knelt on the ground, "My brother has been forced into a group and evil dark wizards. Said dark wizards are targeting my best friend and I don't even know where to begin to help. I'm sorry Reg, I should've been a better older brother."
Regulus gently kicked the side of Sirius' foot, "Hey, if anyone is allowed to have a crisis right now it's me."
Sirius stood up and gripped his brother's shoulders, "We'll fix this. Together."
Regulus clapped Sirius' arm, "Together."
"I'm so sorry Reg…"
"It's fine Sirius. I need to go before anyone sees us and starts getting suspicious. But I'll see you soon. We'll figure this out."
"Together."
Regulus' lips twisted in a sad smile, "together." He started walking back up towards the school.
Sirius looked out towards the lake. He stood there for what felt likes ages, eyes locked on the horizon.
Remus followed Alina through the school, she led him towards her quarters. As they arrived the door appeared, she opened in and led him inside.
"Sorry for dragging you all the way here, I couldn't let anyone hear what I have to say," she said walking deeper into the room.
Remus closed the door and walked into the centre of the room. He stuck his hands into his jeans and looked around the room, "It's fine. Sooo what's up?"
"Don't look so nervous, I didn't drag you here to talk about last night. We have a more pressing issue."
Remus nodded, "Alright."
Alina regarded him for a moment, "You might want to sit down though."
Remus frowned but sat down on the small sofa. Alina sat down next to him. Their knees bumped together. He wanted to touch her, they were so close. Her hands were folded neatly in her lap. Her hair fell in elegant curls over her shoulder, she had the same dangling silver bird earrings in that she had the night before. There was a small cut on her bottom lip as if she had been worrying it between her teeth. She had the slight tint of blue circles under her eyes. Something he didn't notice the night before.
"So, something has come to our attention and I don't want to make you panic but… the Death Eaters are planning an attack on the school," she started. His eyes snapped up to hers.
"What? How?!"
"Relax Remus, we, Dumbledore, Moody and I will not let it happen. I wouldn't be telling you anything but it does involve you."
"Involve me?"
"The Death Eaters… they're trying to get to you. They want to use you to attack the school."
Remus' mind started racing, his heart rate accelerated, "Well I can't stay here, I need to go, I can't let them get to me. I can't let anyone get hurt I-"
Alina grabbed his face between her hands, "Look at me, Remus."
His eyes darted up towards hers, she stroked his cheek with her thumb, "It's okay. I'm just telling you so you know what's happening and to be prepared for any weird things we might need you to do before the full moon. You won't hurt anyone. I won't let that happen."
"I can't hurt anyone… It would… kill me."
Alina's eyes turned sad, her eyebrows knitted together in concern. She pulled him in for a tight hug. His arms snaked around her and held her close. Her hand caressed his head, fingers dragging gently through his hair.
She pulled away and gave him an encouraging smile.
"We'll get through this. The next full is just under two weeks away. I have to go and deal with a few things on Friday but I'll be back on Saturday and then you'll be under my protection. I won't let anyone get to you."
"So what are they planning?"
Alina sighed, "We don't know any details. But there have been whispers, they're attacking in many different ways on many different fronts and the ministry is still a little… scattered for lack of a better word."
She tilted her head back and stared up at the ceiling, "It's been maddening, so many trails, so many dead ends, so many things that could go horribly wrong. We don't know if they will attack but we can't take that risk."
Remus watched her for a second, not entirely sure how to respond.
"I'm sorry," he said after a long beat.
She turned her head and looked at him, "You don't have to apologize. None of this is your fault."
"I know… but I wish I could help. All I seem to be doing is causing more trouble than good."
Alina smiled at him, "Some people just attract trouble. I would know. Just don't feel guilty about it okay?"
Remus didn't smile back, brow creasing with a frown, "If you could go back. Would you still become an Auror if you knew everything you knew now?"
Alina sighed and looked at the ceiling again, "I always wanted to be an Auror. From when I was little. I don't think there was ever another path for me."
She lifted her arm and looked at her watch.
"Right well, I need to get going. But if anything weird or strange happens, come straight to me or Dumbledore alright?"
Remus nodded. He got up from the couch and followed her to the door. He gripped the door handle and turned back to her, "Stay safe okay?"
She smirked at him, "Shouldn't I be saying that to you?"
Remus shrugged and looked at the ground. Alina leaned in and pecked him lightly on the cheek. His eyes darted up to hers as she pulled away. He reached up, hand grazing her cheek gently. Her lips parted slightly, a strand of hair fell in front of her eyes. He swept it behind her ear slowly. Her breath hitched, he could feel the rise and fall of her chest against his forearm between them. His hand moved down to her jaw, cradling it gently.
Her eyes flicked down to his lips and he swallowed. She looked up at his eyes again, her eyes were bright and filled with desire and something Remus didn't get enough time to identify. She palmed the back of his head and brought his lips to hers.
Their mouths were hot against each other. Her hands dragged through his hair as they moved. Lips completely immersed with each other. His hand gripped her jaw tighter, angling her head so they fit together. His other hand grabbed her hip, pulling her body flush against his.
She pushed him up against the door behind them. His mouth opened with a gasp and her tongue delved in. The kiss grew wilder, tongues moving against each other, bodies pressed tightly together. The hand on her hip moved upwards, sliding under her robes. Digging through the material until he found the skin of her waist. She moaned at the sensation of his hand against her skin. She pulled back slightly. His lips were wet and swollen, his breathing laboured and his pupils dilated and dark with lust. She licked her lips and he growled, pulling her back to him. His other hand dropped to her waist too and he swung them around, pushing her up against the hardwood of the door. This kiss was unlike the other ones they had shared. This was wild and feverish.
She gripped his shoulders and pushed him back slightly. She strained against her hold, and she wanted nothing more than to pull him back to her but she knew they needed to stop.
"Remus…" it came out breathier than she had intended.
His grip on her slackened but his hands didn't move, he took a deep breath and his head fell and rested on her shoulder.
Her fingers played with the hair at the nape of his neck. They stood there for what felt like ages.
"We need to stop doing this," Remus said softly.
"I know…" Alina sighed.
He pulled away and looked at her. Her eyes were half-lidded, her robes slightly dishevelled. But her lips. Her lips were pink and plump, just begging to be kissed again. He tore his eyes away from her lips, knowing that if he looked at them any longer he would kiss her again. She smirked up at him and pushed his hair back. He didn't want to even think what his hair must look like.
She dragged her thumb across the scar cutting over his lip, "Always attracting trouble."
He pulled away and stepped back. She stepped to the side and opened the door, "You better leave before I decide to kiss you again."
He nodded, his eyes still glazed slightly.
He stepped out into the corridor and turned back to her.
"I'll see you soon?"
She gave him a sad smile, "Stay safe Remus," and with that, she closed the door.
Remus watched the door disappear into the stone wall. He turned and slowly wandered down the hallway, not sure where his feet were taking him, his mind to busy to worry about that. He walked and walked and found himself in his dormitory standing at the foot of his bed. He stared blankly at the deep red bedspread. Mind still racing, he felt like he was drowning. His mind darting between different conflicting thoughts, overwhelming him. He thought of Alina and how he just wanted to kiss her again. He thought of the moon and how it was almost full. He thought of where he could go to make sure he couldn't hurt anyone. He thought of the Death Eaters waiting to use him. He thought of how her mouth tasted, how her skin felt, how she said his name. He felt the wolf nagging at the back of his mind, it felt like it sat at the base of his skull scratching away until it could take over his entire brain. He felt so many different things, each pulling against one another in his mind. But the more he thought the more the other feeling would wash away. Until all he felt was angry. He was angry that the Death Eaters wanted to use him to hurt people. He was angry that there were students in the school who knew his secret but he didn't know who they were. He felt out of control which made him angrier. The thought of hurting anyone made him even angrier. But most of all he was angry at himself. He was angry that he wouldn't control the wolf, he was angry that he stopped kissing Alina, he was angry that his mind flickered to Lesley and he felt guilty when he thought of her.
He fell forward slightly catching the end of his trunk. He sat on the edge of it, his head in his hands.
He took a shaky breath. This isn't who I am. Don't let the anger control you.
He was still sitting on his trunk with his head in his hands when the door to the dormitory burst open and his three roommates walked in.
"Moony! We've been looking for you!" Sirius said loudly.
"Yeah mate, have you been up here the whole time?" James asked.
"Are you okay?" Peter hesitated.
The three of them crowded around him. "This isn't one of those full moons but we can't see it situations again is it? I don't think we're ready for another one," Sirius said. James punched him on the shoulder.
Remus looked up at his friends, and he regarded them for a moment. Peter wrung his hands nervously, Sirius rubbed his shoulder where James had punched him. James knelt down, messy hair falling in front of his forehead. He looked genuinely concerned. They all did. Not one of them looked scared. Remus felt a strong wash of love and appreciation for the men standing in front of him. And in turn, his anger dissipated.
"Yeah… I'm okay."
"You sure?" James asked.
"Yeah you look a little peaky," Sirius said. James turned and glared at Sirius who just shrugged, "What? He does."
"There's actually something I need to tell you," Remus said.
"Us too!" Peter exclaimed, he plopped himself on the floor and crossed his legs.
"Yeah, I don't exactly have the best news for you…" Sirius said gravely, perching on the edge of James' bed.
"Well hopefully it's a right side better than what I have to tell you lot," Remus said.
James sat down on the other end of Remus' trunk, "Right then, you first."
Remus took a deep breath, "Well, the Auror department think that the Death Eaters are going to try and attack the school. Using me. During the full moon. They're not sure if it's this full moon or not though and they don't know how but Alina has said that I just need to be on high alert, until they can find out what students are involved, once she gets back on Saturday she said I'll be under her protection."
Remus watched them, expecting their reactions to be slightly different than the mild concern he was receiving.
"Uhm, you did hear me right?"
"Yeah… we heard you. I guess the Aurors are better clued up than I thought," Sirius started, "Okay, so we know that the Death Eaters are planning on attacking the school."
"What how!?"
"Regulus," Sirius said simply.
"How does he know? Wait… does he know I'm a werewolf?"
Sirius nodded slowly with a grimace.
"Fuck…"
"Oh, it gets… it gets worse."
"So, Regulus and Severus-"
"Severus!?"
"They've been tasked with slipping you a strengthening potion that will make you more violent, so by the time the full moon comes along the wolf will be too strong and too difficult to stop. They'll then lead you back to the castle while you're at the height of transformation so you can just wreak havoc on the school."
Remus didn't say anything.
"Don't worry mate, we'll make sure that doesn't happen. Besides with Alina and Dumbledore, and Frank should be back by then. With all of them nothing like that will happen," James said reassuringly.
"Yeah you have you've very own task force, I'm sure Alina and Frank can obliviate Regulus and Severus to forget that they know about you or any of that," Peter said.
"Whoa, I think obliviating my brother is a bit far. He doesn't want to do it anyway and knowing Reg if he doesn't want to do something he'll do everything in his power to not. So all we really have to worry about is Severus. Him I don't mind obliviating."
"Ok fine, no obliviation, But things will be fine, Alina said you'll be under her protection. Maybe she wants you to stay in her quarters that week, we can bring you the work you miss in class. We can say that you went home for a family thing?"
Remus swallowed hard, mind shooting back to when he was in her quarters not too long ago, "I don't think that would be the best idea…"
"Yeah agreed, you can't just be locked up in one room for the whole week, maybe going home would be a good option, I'm sure Dumbledore would allow it considering," James mussed. Remus didn't want to tell them that his reasoning was different to James', his kiss with Alina wasn't something he was ready to deal with just yet.
"No, I don't want to go home, what if Severus has already given me some of the potion? I can't expect my parents to deal with a stronger, more violent version of the wolf."
"So what do you think is the best option?" Peter asked.
"Kill Severus, problem solved," Sirius said with a shrug.
"No we're not killing anyone, no matter who they are," James said.
"But we do all understand that they're only doing this as an initiation into the Death Eater ranks right?"
"What?" James and Peter asked at the same time.
"I've been thinking about it and why else would they do it? Or why would they specifically be asked? I'm sure Voldy has more werewolves in his ranks who could pull a Greyback and come say hi during a full moon. It's similar to when Bellatrix was told to kill Alina's brother. They've been given a task and fulfilling it means they become Death Eaters."
"I think you're right," Remus said solemnly.
"Right, so back to the plan," Sirius said, "Just don't eat or drink anything until the full moon passes."
"That's like eleven days! He can't go that long without food!" Peter exclaimed.
"Or maybe go back to staying with Alina in her quarters, you could eat, shower, sleep there but still attend classes. That way all the possible moments for the potion to be slipped to you would be in private, away from anyone," James said scratching his chin.
"Ooo! Yes." Sirius said nodding.
"I like this plan!" Peter said, "not that we don't like having you in the dorm but it would be safer for you and you get to be closer to Alina."
Remus sighed, "I don't think that's such a good idea."
"Why not!?" Sirius asked.
"I just don't okay," Remus said getting up.
"Did something happen? When you left to talk to her, did you talk about anything else other than the Death Eaters?" James asked.
"No, not really."
"What do you mean by 'not really'," Sirius asked, hands raised gesturing air quotes around not really.
"We kissed again okay! And it was amazing, but I shouldn't be thinking about her body pressed against mine when there are sick Death Eaters out there plotting to use me a weapon against my peers!"
"Sounds like one hell of a kiss," Sirius said with a smirk.
"Remus, shit happens all the time. You can't put your life and your feelings on hold because something bad is coming. If everyone thought like that, life would never happen," James said.
"Oi, Potter. When did you become such a girl?" Sirius asked, shaking his head at James.
James just rolled his eyes, "Remus you know what I mean."
Remus nodded.
"Moony, you gotta tell us. How was the kiss? Bodies pressed against each other? Don't leave me hanging," Sirius said leaning forward.
"It was different than the others, it was passionate and all I wanted to do was devour her."
Sirius smirked at him, "You know, I think a week in her quarters would do you good. Probably do her a whole lot of good too, if you catch my drift," he punctuated with a wink.
Remus rolled his eyes, but couldn't deny that his blood seemed to run hotter when he thought of her. Her body, her mouth. The possibilities of them being that close for extended periods of time.
"What about Lesley?" Peter's voice came down on Remus like a bucket of ice water.
"Dude! Not cool!" Sirius said.
"No he's right," Remus sighed, "Lesley and I have a thing, whatever it is. Everything I'm doing is so unfair to her."
"But that's just it. It's a thing, whatever it is – is undefined. So you can do whatever you want with whomever you want. Just like she can. Neither of you have said what you are to one another so why stress over something when you don't even know what it is?"
They all looked at him. Sirius shrugged, "Don't hate me cause I'm right."
James shook his head, "Remus is too loyal for that."
"I never said he wasn't. Look at me! I'm as loyal as you get, fuck my Animagus is a dog for Melin's sake! You can't argue disloyalty here."
James frowned at Sirius again, "I think we need to come back to this conversation again, I'm just not prepared enough for it right now," he turned to Remus, "I'm sure we can figure out your girl dilemma after we've handled the full yeah?"
"Yeah, I don't need more things to stress about."
After they're conversation in the dorm the boys never spoke about the girls or the full moon again. They had agreed to talk to Alina when she returned on Saturday and figure out a way to avoid the Death Eater's plot, without jeopardizing Regulus at the same time.
The week dragged on but Remus tried to carry on as normal. He only drank water, hoping that he'd be able to taste if a potion has been slipped in. He would skip meals and go down to the kitchens afterwards to pick up some food, hoping the house-elves weren't in on the evil plot against him. He still went to his study dates with Lesley and he enjoyed spending time with her. She was cute and funny and really clever. She made him laugh and made him feel at ease. The world seemed a brighter place with her around. But when he lay awake at night his mind was filled with thoughts of Alina, her intensity, her eyes, her voice. He couldn't help it, his mind just strayed there.
He had seen he a handful of times throughout the week, it wasn't often and they never spoke. But she did acknowledge him, a smile here and nod there. As the week dragged on she looked more and more distracted. Remus couldn't help but wonder what the task that was taking her away from the school was. He hoped it wasn't dangerous.
Friday morning rolled in on the end of a large storm. The sky was dark and ominous, the mist hung low and the wind whipped, sharp and cold. Alina stood in the astronomy tower, looking out over the grounds. Her hair was braided, keeping it out of her face. She wore her spelled robes. Material embedded with protective magic. They hugged her tight form, padded in the more vulnerable areas. He wand was tucked into her sleeve, ready to be drawn. She heard the telltale sound of Moody climbing the stairs.
"Well, you look ready for a fight."
She turned towards Dumbledore's voice. He stood at the top of the stairs, his soft grey robes moving silently around him.
"I'm more ready than I'll ever be."
"Are you confident?"
"No," she replied simply.
"Are you sure you should be going?"
"Yes, I can't let the other Aurors fight without me when I am more than capable to help," she said.
Moody reached the top of the stairs then.
"Right, let's go kill these bastards," he said with a huff.
Alina nodded, she squared her shoulders and took a deep breath.
"Remember lass, no pity, no guilt, no uncertainty. That's how you end up like me, a leg and an eye down."
He put out his hand for her to take. She nodded to Dumbledore who nodded back. She gripped Moody's hand and together they apparated.
Inhale…
Exhale…
Inhale…
Frank is going to kill me…
Exhale.
Alina opened her eyes and stormed into the large hall. The battle was already underway. Spells and curses were shooting all over the place ricocheting off shattered glass and broken wood. She checked spells towards a large group of Death Eaters that had surrounded two Aurors. Her magic hit the floor under the Death Eaters and sudden blue flames engulfed them. Her and Moody were supposed to be looking for the Dark Lord, they originally were only going to go in once he had been spotted but all the Death Eaters were wearing full, metal skull-like masks. It was impossible to tell who was who.
She knocked another pair out of her way with a flash of bright blue flames. A spell she had designed herself. It had taken years to perfect and only she knew the incantation, it was powerful and unruly and it sapped her energy and her power. She knew she couldn't throw to many of these before she would run out of energy and falter. And in a battle like this one mistake would wind you up dead.
The hall was littered with bodies, Aurors and Death Eaters. She would look down and see that she was standing on someone she once knew. She spotted Moody in the chaos and bolted over to him, flinging a Death Eater out of her way.
"How are we supposed to find him in this mess!" She yelled at him.
"Forget that! Just survive! Take as many of them down as you can!"
He banged his walking stick hard on the ground, a large force emanating from it, blowing three Death Eaters back, hitting the wall on the other side of the room.
Alina turned and started firing curses and spells at any Death Eater she saw. The Auror had collected into a group in the centre. Surrounded by Death Eaters whose numbers doubled their own.
"This isn't looking good Mad-Eye!" She yelled.
"Do it! Hit them!"
"I can't hit them all!"
"Try!"
Alina pulled her arm up and with the full force of her body jabbed her wand against the floor. She screamed as bright blue flame erupted from her wand, shooting across the floor incinerating the Death Eaters who came into contact with the flames. It raged around them, creating a protective circle. The flames reached high, licking the ceiling, some of them broke away taking the shape of a phoenix and flew above them, crashing down on Death Eaters who managed to miss the first burst. The hall was filled with painful screaming as many people burned. But she didn't let up, the fire just grew, hotter, stronger, more violent.
She was fully consumed but the power, she felt ruthless and invincible. Then she heard it. The voice of the one person she hated more than anyone else in the world. She heard the shrill and unnerving bark of Bellatrix. She whipped around and saw a small group of Death Eaters managing her flames. Three of them. Two men and one woman, the woman had long curly hair, sticking out the back of her intricate mask. Alina walked towards them, Moody tried to grab her but it was no use, only she could move through the flames without them hurting her. He pulled back as soon as she stepped through the fire.
The didn't see her coming. The three of them stopped dead as she appeared through the flames. Bellatrix hurtled spells at her but Alina easily flicked them away. She raised her wand and the magic flames grabbed the three Death Eaters and held them against the wall.
"Don't struggle," Alina said calmly, "the more you struggle the more burnt you'll get."
She walked up to Bellatrix and ripped her mask off, Bellatrix spat in her face.
Alina whipped it off her face and glared at Bellatrix. The fire moved up her body covering all her limbs and her torso.
"I am the Blue Phoenix and you killed my brother," Alina said.
"I didn't mean for him to die! It was just a nick! Promise! It wasn't my fault he died," Bellatrix yelled.
Alina moved to the man on the left of Bellatrix, she ripped off his mask, "You must be Rodolphus." She didn't let him speak but rather let the flames cover his entire body.
"Don't worry too much, he's not burning. Yet."
Alina walked to the other Death Eater. "You don't want to do that! The Dark Lord will kill you as soon as you removed his mask!" Bellatrix yelled.
"No. I don't think he would. If the Dark Lord was here, he wouldn't be stuck up against the wall. He would've stopped my fire as soon as it started. No, the Dark Lord isn't here. He never was," Alina said.
She gripped the mask and the wearer struggled against her, trying to get his face out of her reach.
"Let's see who's under mask number 3 shall we?" Her hands moved over the mark feeling the cool metal through her gloves.
"Ravenclaw!" Moody shouted from the other side of the fire, "It's done, turn your bloody fire off!" The fire settled low to the ground, turning to a light blue simmer in places. The fire on her and pinning the Death Eaters to the wall still remained strong. Moody came up behind her as the other Aurors captured the remaining Death Eaters.
The man in front of her was straining even harder against the fire, his clothes smoking as it burnt him. Her fingers slipped into the eye sockets and she pulled, removing the mask. Martin looked down at her, she stumbled back slightly.
"What… I. I don't understand."
"Martin!" Alistor yelled.
"You're the mole," Alina said softly.
"Sorry kid, but you're on the wrong side of history," Martin said watching her.
"Oh, and you are!? Martin how could you! We trusted you! I trusted you!"
"Join us, Alina! You are so strong and powerful, by the Dark Lord's side you could reach your full potential, have powerful you could only dream of!"
Moody banged his walking stick against the floor and Martin froze, "That's enough out of you, traitor."
Alina stumbled backwards. She felt sick. The lump in her throat was choking her, she stumbled out of the hall into a service corridor that had also been badly damaged. She fell against the wall and slid to the ground. Tears streaming down her face.
A/N: Hello Everyone! Well, it's been a beat and a half hasn't is. But I'm back! I'm sorry I've made you wait so long. I promise I'm not dead and come hell or high water I will finish this story. I have a grand plan for it and we're about halfway! I am trying to write more regularly and get this strong out to you all! 3
It looks amazing in my head I just hope I can do it justice and make it sing on the page as it does in my head. Thank you for your likes and reviews! They're the best! Anything you want to say or comment go for it! Much Love!
- Red
