He was falling, flying, sailing, moving so fast it seemed as if he'd been launched from a MAC, light and friction burning over his skin. His eyes squinted against the blurring and speed, even behind his visor, before they went wide as he escaped the cloud of stars and dust to behold the entirety of what he'd just entered.
Stretching in every direction, up, down, left, right, ahead and behind were stars, clustered together in every shape and size, nebulous clouds in a riot of colors more than he could possibly count. And there was another, and another, entire galaxies of stars, more and more coming into view as he flew higher and higher. Hundreds of thousands of galaxies…a universe, all connected by crystalline, gossamer webs stretching into, through and across an infinity.
His awe was short-lived as he somehow picked up even more speed, descending through webs and the spaces between galaxies so fast it seemed as if his eyeballs were about to be torn from their sockets. His vision was filled with the clouds and colors of a galaxy as he raced towards the heart, the light shining and burning through his eyelids…
Distantly, he heard what sounded like a sonic boom and someone screaming at the top of their lungs. Oh wait, that's me, he thought, unable to stop himself. He felt himself slowing to stop and opened his eyes to see the moon shining above him, the sky dotted with normal stars. "-AAHHHHHHHHHH…what?" Then the cruel mistress that was gravity took hold of him and he fell, the lights from the city below glittering cheerily.
Spreading his arms, he buried the urge to scream in confusion and focused, eyes picking across the rapidly-approaching rooftops until he found a relatively flat one. Time seemed to slow as his arm was wreathed in pink and white neon, a laser-like beam emitting from his palm, his fingers grasping onto it as his entire body became neon, spinning himself onto the beam and racing along it.
The neon fizzled out near the roof, so he jumped the rest of the way, gravel flying as he skidded to a halt. He paused, kneeling, breathing hard and sweating, before throwing his hands up. "WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?!"
There was no answer. He tapped the side of his visor. "Cortana? Are you there?" Still no reply. The tapping grew frantic. "Tana? Sweetheart? Are you there?"
Fear gripped his heart for a few terrifying seconds, then his headset crackled. "...what…" Her voice was distant and frazzled, echoes of static coming over the line, "The actual fuck…was that."
He sighed in relief, slumping down to his knees. "No idea…I think we stared into the heart of infinity…and it was freaky as hell." He shook his head, pushing himself up. "At least we're together…wherever we are."
"I'll try and connect to the local net, but it looks like New York," Cortana replied, her connection growing stronger.
He looked up and spied the iconic profile of the Empire State Building. "Oh hey, you're right…huh. Does it…does it look off to you?"
"Everything feels off right now," his companion answered. "How do you mean?"
"I don't know," he shrugged helplessly, "Off. Something's just kinda weird." Stepping up to the edge of the roof, he cast his eyes across the billboards and signs and nodded. "There's Times Square, and…" He pointed down at one the largest signs. "Is it just me or does that say 'Koca-Soda'?"
"Um, Saul?" Cortana asked instead, "I just accessed the net. The Protectorate and the PRT…they don't exist here. But there are superheroes."
He looked down at the signs, seeing ads for things that were familiar, but completely different at the same time. "Well…shit."
…
LATER
…
The strange group of fellow Spider-people argued in the command center of the former Spider-Man of that Earth, only for Aunt May to look at her phone, her jaw to drop, and her chair to clatter against the desk as she ran for the elevator. They paused to watch her go, slightly stunned. "…What bit her?" The tallest among them asked, an average-looking man with scruffy brown hair, tired brown eyes and stubble on his cheeks.
"Another spider, maybe?" A…cartoon pig wearing a Spider-Suit said hopefully, "Be nice to get a Spider-Ma'am swinging around, you know?"
"Excuse me?" A lithe girl, blonde of hair and blue of eye asked, cocking her hip and frowning at the talking cartoon pig. At the side, a girl who was much too cute to be real leaned against a red and blue colored mech, the red eyes on the cockpit briefly forming a frowny face. "(Yeah, what does that mean?)" She added on Japanese, pouting dramatically as she crossed her arms.
"Oh powder your spandex, you two are too young to be ma'ams," the pig replied with a wave. Mollified, they made to continue their conversation when the elevator in the center began to descend. But it wasn't Aunt May returning. It was someone else entirely.
He stood on the platform, back to them, arms crossed imperiously as he gazed out over the Spider's Web, taking in the multitude of gadgets, vehicles and the main computer with the sort of aloof disdain of a conqueror surveying his new fiefdom and finding it lacking. The platform settled with a hiss, and they beheld the symbol upon his back, one they were intimately familiar with - The Spider. But it had been changed, the legs sharper, visible, serrated fangs, the symbol crossed with the matte-black sheathe of a sword slung over his shoulder. It glowed a malevolent purple, a symbol of justice twisted into something far more dangerous, embedded in an armored jacket like some sort of futuristic gang sigil.
The Spider-People fell into fighting stances, except for the smallest among them, a lean black boy in what looked like Spider-Man themed pajamas - poorly made ones, at that.
The intimidating figure's head slowly turned, a line of red peeking over the shoulder before it faced them fully. Upon seeing the mask, the Spider-People grit their teeth and tensed their muscles, prepared to leap into action at the first sign of offensive movement.
The mask was technologically advanced, seemingly made of flexible metal that covered the entire head, the eyes protected by a glowing, orange-red visor. The mere sight of such an intimidating visage had some of them internally wondering if the figure before them was even human. "An Evil Spider-Man?" The brown-haired Spider-Man wondered, wriggling his fingers as he prepared to launch his webs. "How? Why?"
"Well you got brought here, so I don't see why not," The blonde girl shot back, snarking even in the tense atmosphere. Which grew even worse as the figure lifted a hand, curled it into a fist and extended a finger towards them, but made no further movement besides turning its gaze on the teen in pajamas. The brown-haired man shifted to stand in front of him protectively, and the figure lifted its arms up, fingers extended as if to summon eldritch energy…
…And then cocked its head to the side as if listening to something. Then it reached for the side of its head and fumbled at the visor before something clicked and the visor turned blue. "-can't believe I was muted the entire time," he muttered, shaking his head, his voice masculine, somewhat young but entirely friendly. "Hey there, Spider-guys and gals! I am…also a Spider-Person!...Apparently. Have you seen this lair?! Look at that computer! I need to get me one of those!"
And just like that, the tense atmosphere faded with all the fanfare of a burst balloon. "So…" The brown-haired Spider-Man said slowly, "Not…an Evil Spider-Man?"
The 'Evil' Spider-Man looked down at his outfit, tapping his wrist as he did. "I know my color palette's a little dark, but evil's a stretch, don't you think?" There was a subtle hissing as the armor withdrew and changed, becoming fingerless gloves, metal bracelets and simple shin guards, the top of the mask folding back into a hood, leaving the face covered by the visor and mask but revealing a head of brownish-blond hair. "Why are you wearing pajamas, dude?"
"…It's a long story," the other guy replied, looking faintly embarrassed. "Uh, not to be rude or anything, but…who are you? I'm Miles, by the way."
"Saul," he answered, tucking his hands in his pockets and sighing. "It's kind of a long story, but-"
"Let me guess," the blonde chimed in, "Spider bite, great power great responsibility and a sudden trip through time and space?"
Saul blinked at her, not that they could see from behind his visor. "…Kinda? But mostly no."
"Hope you don't…mind, but I'd like to hear it…" Another masculine voice added, causing the Spider-People to spin around as three people came into view. One was Aunt May, pushing a hospital bed with the battered form of a blond-haired man on it, a red-haired woman at their side. "They look surprised. Thought you were gonna tell them we were taking the cargo elevator?"
"I meant to, but I muted myself," Saul admitted with no shame, watching as Miles pushed through the group and ran up to the bed-ridden man.
"S-Spider-Man? You're alive?" He asked shakily, seeming on the verge of a breakdown, "But I saw…you were…"
"Only mostly, kid," blond Spider-Man smiled, laying a comforting hand on the younger man's shoulder.
Saul wandered up to the bed, hands still in his pockets. "And only mostly dead isn't all dead," he chimed in, withdrawing his hands and creating a brief arc of golden glitter between them. "Although, the dimensional repositioning seems to have affected my rejuvenation capabilities, some sort of resonance has weakened them. It's bullshit."
"You won't see me complaining," Blond-Spider said with a pained chuckle, waving at the gathered Spider-People. "Hey guys, Peter Parker, also known as Spider-Man, but I guess you already knew that."
"Peter Parker, also Spider-Man," Brown-Spider replied, his eyes flickering to the red-head, a brief flash of sadness and shame covering his features before it vanished.
"Pete Parker, the real name of the mysterious vigilante known only…as The Spider," the large gentleman in a monochromatic suit dramatically revealed, his black trench coat flapping in a breeze one wouldn't think would be in a closed room.
The pig stepped forward and bowed dramatically, with much hand waving and ears flapping. "Peter Porker, intrepid reporter and The Amazing Spider-Ham, at your service!"
"Peni Parker and SP/dr, (the greatest mech team in the world!)" The Japanese schoolgirl introduced, posing with her mech before kitting a bow.
"Gwen Stacey, Spider-Woman," the blonde said shortly, crossing her arms and observing the others, her blue eyes flickering between them.
"Mary Jane," the redhead clasping Blond-Peter's hand nodded, smiling warmly. "Call me MJ."
They turned to Saul, who was ignoring them in favor of attempting to cast a spell on the bed-ridden Peter, only for his hands to glow and nothing else. "Oh, is it my turn?" he asked rhetorically, his hand coming up to press a section of his mask. It broke apart with a rattle and a hiss, sliding down into his collar to reveal his face, Japanese features mixing perfectly with European. His eyes were ice blue, a long thin scar cutting through his left eyebrow and down his cheek. "Saul Dewitt. I'm called Game Master, for now. And my constant companion and better half, Cortana."
He held a hand out, a light shining from his palm that coalesced together into the form of a purple woman, her body made up of streams of code. "Hey there," she greeted with a wave.
Around the room, eyebrows went up. "You're not a Spider-Man? Men? People?" Miles asked, rubbing his temples as the confusion set in.
"I didn't start out that way, but I am now," Saul answered, Cortana's avatar moving to his shoulder as he crossed his arms. "Like I said, it's a long story."
"I wanna hear it," Brown-Peter chimed in, "But we're kinda on a time crunch, so summarize."
Saul looked around, noting the inquisitive looks before signing. "Alright, well…it all started when I was a kid. My parents died when I was ten-"
A young, chubby-cheeked boy stood in the rain, staring emotionlessly at a large gravestone. A blonde woman with kind brown eyes laid a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"-and my Aunt took me in. She did the best she could, but a single woman trying to keep a house for five by herself meant she was constantly working. Just before I turned sixteen, I was mugged and dumped in a recycling plant where I was nearly crushed. I woke my powers and found out that the guy who did it also had superpowers and was using them to drug my entire school. After revealing that, I was offered a position in The Wards, being a junior hero, basically. And then-"
"Saul," Cortana chimed in, "You didn't tell them what your powers are."
He snapped his fingers in remembrance. "Oh, right. So…it's kinda weird and hard to explain, so…" He pressed a finger into part of his stomach and a three-disk Disk Tray slid out. Eyebrows once again went up.
Blond-Peter sat up in his bed, made a pained grimace and clutched his ribs before sinking back. "Are you a cyborg?" He managed to ask.
"I thought you might be when you came in," Brown-Peter added, bending down to look at the tray.
"No offense, fella," Spider-Ham chimed in, "But that's just weird."
"Basically, whatever games I put in, I - don't touch my Disk Tray!" He slapped Peter's hand away, then paused as if realizing the ridiculous nature of that statement. "Anyway, whatever game I put in, I can become the main character or characters, which lets me use all of their abilities and equipment. And, in some cases, their superpowers. I put in a Spider-Man game, somehow tapped into the primordial source of Spider powers and woke up the next morning as my dimension's Spider-Man."
"As the talking pig said, that's just weird," Gwen said, shaking her head.
"I know," Saul said, before clapping his hands. "Alright, highlights! I moved to a city called Brockton Bay, made a few friends, made quite a few enemies and went to school. I fought a dragon-"
A hulking, metal-scaled dragon roared furiously, mandibles peeling apart to reveal a maw of razor sharp teeth. Saul blasted it in the face with a double portion of webs. As it tore at its face, he web-lined a nearby car, heaving as he spun it around then up over his head.
The dragon ripped the webs away from its eyes just as the car hammered down into its head. And then exploded.
"-found out some crap about my family-"
Saul stumbled back from the explosion, his senses screaming as he slammed his hands together, catching the downward thrust of a large knife.
"Let me see the light fade from those eyes…"
"-developed a complicated relationship with a thief-"
Saul dodged away from a kick aimed at his head, flipping away from a follow-up sweep. His eyes found her face and contrary to his expectations, she was smiling. He felt his blood run cold, the sensation only furthered by a familiar click.
Then the Trip-Web grenade activated, wrapping his body in webs and slamming him against the wall. Before he could shake the sudden reversal off, the Thief was in his face, her cheeks bulging oddly before she licked his mask. Which then started to bubble and melt.
He clamped his mouth shut, only for the Thief to pull a water bottle from her belt, pinning his head against the wall and pouring the liquid over the melting mask, washing it away to reveal his unmarred mouth. Then she crushed her lips against his.
"Ah," both Peter's nodded in equal parts fondness and exasperation. They looked at each other, then at MJ, who was smirking in amusement. Then cleared their throats and focused on the story.
"-kinda dated a redhead and went to a dance-"
Saul slowly spun on the dance floor, one hand on her hip and the other in her hand. "Glad you decided to come with me?" He asked softly.
"I guess you're not that bad," she smiled, leaning her head against his shoulder as they slow-danced to the music.
Only for it to suddenly switch to rap. "THIS GODDAMN DJ-!"
"-even saved my town once-"
Saul twisted the steering wheel, the tires skidding as they barely dodged a massive claw that gouged a crag out of the earth. "Holy shit!"
Four rotary guns spun on the hood, spewing a stream of red lasers like a fountain of pain, their target exploding in a fireball.
In the seat next to him, a very well-endowed blonde in a low-cut tank top worked a joystick, the turret on the roof above firing lasers and missiles in equal measures. "YEAH BABY!"
"-or twice-"
Saul stood alone on a rooftop, watching stoically as a massive wave of water roared towards the city, it's presence even darkening the sky. His fingers slowly curled into a fist, his knuckles cracking under his strength.
Then he stepped forward and threw his hands up with a roar.
"-joined a Shadowy Cabal-"
One man and three women sat around a table in a darkly-lit room, their features hidden shadow. Silence dominated the room…
…Then the door opened and Saul stepped in carrying a fully-loaded tray. Humming to himself, he walked around the table setting down cups of tea before taking his seat, pushing the tray and the snacks on it into the middle. He took a couple biscotti for himself and dipped it in his tea. "Where were we?" He asked, mouth full. "I forgot."
"-and then I had a weird encounter-"
There was a massive, shuddering crash outside. Saul froze as icy terror dripped down his spine. Slowly, he turned on his heel to look out of the window.
Through the glass a large, grey-ish white eye gazed back. It blinked.
Saul screamed shrilly.
"-and nothing much happened until a day or two ago, when I was suddenly sucked through a portal and went on the most terrifying ride of my life." He finished, pulling a flask of water from his belt and taking a pull. "And that's it…in brief."
"…You call that 'brief'?" Gwen asked sardonically.
"Yes, the real thing would take many, many chapters." Saul replied bluntly. "So, what now?"
The blonde Peter Parker slowly sat up in his bed. "Now? Now we figure out a way to get you all home. You guys are gonna have to do the heavy lifting, though."
…
…
…
…
A/N: April Fool's!
...
OR IS IT?!
DUN-DUN-DUUUUUNNNNN
