Ben

Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.

A/N-thank you for the kind reviews and for sticking with the story, even with my uncooperative muse.

Chapter Nineteen-Down and Out

"You're exhausted." Jacob said as he massaged the top of Bella's arms. She was like a ball of tension. "Don't give me that look, honey." He continued when she glared up at him. "You'll be no good to Luka or Ben if you run yourself into the ground."

"I'm fine." Bella protested. "We're wasting precious time…"

"Jacob's right." Alice cut in. "You need to rest."

"All this driving back and forth from Forks to Seattle isn't helping." Paul added.

"You're right!" Alice murmured, frowning. Paul looked shocked that she'd actually agreed with him. "I'll book some rooms." She was already pulling out her cell phone.

"And how are we gonna pay for these rooms?" Paul said scathingly. "We don't have your unlimited funds, Pixie."

"I'll pay." Alice snapped impatiently.

"I'm not taking charity." Paul folded his arms across his impressive chest and matched Alice's annoyed glare.

"Oh, shove your manly pride, Paul." Alice retorted bitingly. "Sleep on the street if it makes you feel better."

"I will!"

"Well good!"

Jacob and Bella exchanged tired glances. They were getting used to Alice and Paul's crazy bickering. Something small would set them off and they would argue for hours, trying their best to get one up on each other. It was quite funny to watch sometimes, but right now it was tiresome.

"Just let her make the call, Paul." Jacob decided it was time to intervene.

"You're comfortable with taking the vamps money?" Paul demanded.

"Yeah, I am. As long as it means we all get some proper sleep." Jacob shot back at him. He took a deep breath to calm himself down. "I know where you're coming from, but its not a big deal…. not if it means we get to find Luka."

"And for your information, wolf boy." Alice interrupted scathingly as she finished booking the rooms and put her phone back in her pocket. "This is my money…mine! I'm paying for this out of my inheritance."

"Oh, Alice!" Bella reached out to her friend in sympathy, knowing what a big deal this was for her, considering her family history. She put her arms around Alice and hugged her.

Paul and Jacob, both ignorant of Alice's background, exchanged a confused glance. They couldn't understand why Alice was so upset, or why Bella was fussing over the little psychic as if someone had died.

"What's going on?" Paul asked, feeling a little guilty. "Am I missing something?"

"Despite what you think, wolf boy. I don't come from some privileged background. I spent most of my human life rotting away in a mental institution." Alice let out a dry sob as she disentangled herself from Bella's arms. "It was my own family who put me there."

"What?" Paul was completely astounded. "I didn't- "

"No, you didn't!" Alice swallowed thickly. "Perhaps you won't be so quick to judge in future!"

"I'm sorry." Paul apologised contritely. "You're right. I'm a complete asshole."

"You said it." Alice fought a grudging smile. "I've always considered the money cursed. I never wanted to touch it. But thinking about it, now would be the perfect time to use it, to put it toward something worthwhile…like finding Luka!"

"Thank you, Alice." Bella took her hands and held them tightly in her own.

"And it also means that no one can trace the transactions because it's from my private account. If I dipped into the family funds Edward and Carlisle would be informed right away." Alice added.

"You're not as dumb as you look, pixie." Paul said mockingly.

"It's a shame I can't say the same about you." Alice relaxed, comfortable again now they were back to teasing each other.

"Ooooh…that hurt." Paul clasped his hand over his heart as if her words had deeply wounded him.

Alice rolled her eyes at his silly behaviour. She ignored him and focused on Jacob and Bella instead. "I'll text you the details of the rooms."

"You're not coming with us?" Bella asked, confused.

"I don't need to sleep, Bella." Alice reminded her with a small smile. "I'll carry on looking."

"And I'll keep her company. Just in case." Paul laughed when Alice bristled. "Its not for your benefit, Pixie. I know you can look after yourself. Its for the poor people you're gonna interrogate."

Alice scowled but she didn't refuse his company. She focused on her phone again as she texted Bella the address of the hotel and the booking reference. Once Bella's cell pinged, indicating she had received the message, Alice reached out to hug her. "Get some proper rest, Bella. I'll see you in the morning bright and early."

"Thanks again, Alice." Bella whispered gratefully as she hugged her right back,


"Jacob, I can't take the bed and leave you on the floor." Bella complained as she watched Jacob slump against the door to her room. "Alice booked a separate room for you, too."

"I'm not letting you out of my sight. You'll probably sneak out in the middle of the night or something and try to continue the search all on your own."

Bella sighed; he knew her too well. She thought of all the nights she'd slept in Edward's arms, the two of them on her tiny twin bed. It made her uncomfortable thinking about him, and all it served was to bring up the same old anxieties that plagued her waking hours about what he might be up to. She tried to slow her breathing in case Jacob noticed.

But of course, he did…

"You okay?" He asked in concern.

Bella glanced his way. She knew there was room for Jacob, that they could both be comfortable on the bed. "Jake." She hated the way her voice trembled when she said his name. "There's room for two of us to sleep on the bed." This time there would be no Ben lying in-between them.

Jacob cleared his throat, obviously thinking the same thing. "You sure?" He asked, his voice husky with emotion.

"I'm sure." Bella nodded, scooting over to give him as much room as possible. There was mad scramble as Jacob quickly curled in behind her, spooning against her, his arms around her. He made her feel warm and safe. Bella decided then and there that it wouldn't be so bad loving Jacob in a new way. A new way he deserved. It wouldn't be so bad at all.


"Bells, you're supposed to be sleeping." Jacob murmured into her hair.

"I know." Bella's heart pounded thunderously against her ribcage, her pulse echoing in her ears. She rolled over in his arms so that she was facing him. Jacob looked at her, she looked at him. Their breathing slowed in unison, a long-strained silence stretching between them.

Achingly slowly, Bella raised her hand until her fingers sank into his hair, and before she knew it, she had tightened her grip and pulled his lips onto hers. They scrambled in a mad tangle of limbs, not once breaking their kiss. He crouched over her, his hands combing her hair and tracing her arms, and brushing the exposed skin of her stomach and then lightly touching her face again and again.

Bella smouldered under his touch as Jacob finally broke the kiss, sliding down her body until she felt his hot breath on her neck, then the tender brush of his lips. Burning as they made contact with her neck. His hand ran through her thick glossy hair as the kisses became harder and more urgent. His other hand slid around Bella's waist, and pulled her closer to his pine scented body. His kisses were now on her shoulders and in her hair as he moved up her body, finally finding her mouth again.


Luka rubbed the concave of his stomach. He was so hungry. He hadn't eaten or drunk anything for a whole twenty-four hours. He felt weak, dehydrated as the hunger pangs gnawed at his empty belly. It was the most terrible pain, constant, grinding. He wandered the streets in the dark, hunched over and nursing his aching stomach. Even though he felt deathly ill, he knew better than to stay still. The streets were a dangerous place at night. He had to be wary and watchful every second.

As the hours wore on, how to stop the hunger became his number one obsession. He passed fast food places, looking in the brightly lit windows, staring at the diner's full plates, his grey eyes wide with suppressed desire as he watched them shovel the food into their greedy mouths. There was something about hunger that robbed the spirit as well as the body, as if in such a state the mind isn't able to function at all. Luka was getting desperate.

He found himself pushing open the door of one of the fast food places. Everyone looked up when he stumbled inside, their laser like stares focusing on his dirty coat, his matted hair and gaunt face. Their noses wrinkled in disgust, and soon the staff were swarming around him like angry flies, and shoving him roughly back out into the cold, cruel night like unwanted garbage.

Luka lay on the cold sidewalk, tears wetting his skin, slicing through the grime coating his face. People tutted as they were forced to walk around him, not one of them daring to reach out to the broken boy lying on the frozen ground. Luka's stomach snarled and howled in protest, the nausea coming over him in waves. Soon he was forced to roll onto his side as sickness welled in his throat, choking him as he hunched over and puked all over the sidewalk.

He clutched at his stomach, clawing at it with his fingers as he tried to silence it but to no avail. It cried even louder, attracting more irritated stares from passers-by. Luka crawled on his hands and knees to a quiet, shadowy corner, the small effort leaving him drained and empty. He had reached his lowest point; he didn't have the will to fight anymore.

"I'm sorry, Ben." He mumbled incoherently as he curled up into a foetal position and closed his eyes. "I'm so sorry."


Ben's head was resting on a cushion as he lay asleep on Rosalie's lap. She had wrapped him in a thick blanket to keep him toasty warm. After Bella called and told Charlie that she planned on staying in Seattle for the night and wouldn't be back until the morning, Rosalie had expected the police chief to ask her to leave. But surprisingly he didn't. He seemed glad of her company, obviously nervous at having to entertain Ben all by himself for the evening.

"I forgot to mention that you were here." Charlie had apologised. "I was just so surprised when she said she was staying in Seattle overnight with Jake…." He paused, flushing red when he remembered that Rosalie was Edward's sister. "Not that I'm sure its anything like that…" He tried to explain.

"Please, don't worry on my behalf." Rosalie had laughed. "Edward and I aren't particularly close. And if Bella is moving on with Jacob Black…then I say good for her." She gave Charlie the benefit of her dazzling smile and he grinned at her goofily.

Rosalie hadn't meant to charm Charlie; it was just part of who she was. She loved being admired by men, and she could see that like most men he was mesmerised by her beauty. She supposed that made her vacuous, but she didn't care, as long it meant she could spend more time with Ben. But as the evening wore on, she found she was actually enjoying Charlie's company. Rosalie had him eating out of her hand by the time Ben had was asleep, tuckered out from all the games they'd played together.

"He is so precious." She sighed as she smoothed Ben's long fringe back from his forehead.

"He is." Charlie agreed. He watched the rise and fall of Ben's chest as he breathed. "I just want to do right by him, you know."

"And you are." Rosalie said stoutly. "Don't doubt yourself. From what I can tell you are doing an amazing job."

Her conviction warmed Charlie's heart. "Thank you." He said, turning his head away slightly to hide how much her kind words had affected him.

Rosalie had the grace not to comment on it. She concentrated on Ben instead. She had always longed for a child, boy or girl. If Ben were hers, she would walk through the gates of hell to keep him safe and well. To Rosalie, every child was a sacred gift, and the small boy asleep on her lap was more precious than most. A fierce love burned inside Rosalie as she continued to stroke Ben's hair back from his sweet face. It was the kind of love that would move heaven and earth for their child. It was the kind of love that said, "I would give my life for this child if I had the power."

It was the kind of love that would take on anyone, anytime, anyplace if they threatened the wellbeing of that child. Rosalie's fingers stilled in Ben's hair as the memory of Edward and Jasper whispering in corners drifted into her mind.

"I have to go." She said suddenly.

"Oh, yes, I didn't realise how late it was." Charlie said gruffly. He walked over to Rosalie, slipping his arms underneath Ben's sleeping form and lifting him up gently so as not to disturb him. "Thanks for coming over." He said to Rosalie as he gently placed Ben's lolling head on his shoulder.

"Thank you for letting me stay." Rosalie's eyes were glistening. "And if it's okay with you and Bella I'd like to come over again."

"Anytime." Charlie replied, smiling tiredly.

Rosalie blessed him with another heart-breaking smile which left him completely breathless, before she departed, giving Ben one last lingering look as she left.

Once outside she pulled out her expensive cell and dialled Esme's number. The Cullen matriarch picked up on the second ring. "Where are you?" She asked the older woman abruptly before Esme even had a chance to say hello.

"I'm quite busy right now, Rose. Perhaps we can talk another time." Esme hedged.

"I know about Ben." Rosalie revealed abruptly.

There was a small gasp on the other end of the line from Esme. "Rose, we didn't intentionally keep you in the dark. We just thought- "

"I don't care about that." Rosalie cut in sharply. "Esme, we have a problem."

"What?" Esme was all business now.

"I overheard Edward and Jasper talking together. They're paying Jenks to find Ben's mother."


Luka groaned as his thick parka was wrenched off his body. His eyes were bloodshot, his vision clouded. He could hardly see the face of his attacker. His bottom lip was bloody from where the drunken guy had hit him in an effort to stun him so he would have time to steal his coat. He heard the thief muttering profanities under his breath as he emptied the pockets, looking for money or drugs, was Luka's guess.

"Not even any fucking drinking money." The drunkard raged as he chucked the flyer Dave from the shelter had given Luka onto the hard ground at his feet. "Well, thanks for the coat, kid." He slurred, before staggering off to find his next victim.

Luka struggled to breathe. He was cold, so cold. And hungry. And thirsty. His stomach rolled and he retched a few times, but there was nothing left inside him to come up. He pulled himself up into a sitting position, one of his hands accidentally making contact with the leaflet. His fingers closed around the pulpy paper and he held it up in front of his face, his bleary eyes focusing on Bella's cell number printed at the bottom.

A/N-thanks for reading! :'(