21
Ianto had excused himself, tired and fed up with not only the bloody fools trying to take over his ship but the questions that were cutting close to his weary bones. He slowly removed his clothing, the sticky blood stained and sweat soaked material now making him feel physically ill as he went back over the events of the last 24 hours.
Death sucks.
The shower started to run as he approached it, the perfect temperature and preferred weight of water falling as he slipped into the steam and stood with his head lowered, enjoying a moment of pure silence, bar the sound of running water.
He watched the water trickling down his body, the blood washing off and the tendrils of red that extended from his feet to the drain laying along the edge of the wall. Like a part of his soul was draining away.
So damn tired.
The bathroom door opened and Ianto knew who it ws without looking, the fact the locked door was opened could only mean one person. Only one person would instinctively know the code to get in. The sound of someone moving about did not alarm Ianto who closed his eyes and now let his head fall back, the water now stroking his face, a gentle caress as the shower adjusted the stream to be gentler on his face.
The person got into the water to join Ianto, their hands sliding around Ianto's hips to pull him back and the lips that kissed his neck, just below his earlobe opened to let a tongue lick gently.
"Careful, he will catch you and you know he hates you licking me" Ianto whispered.
"But you are sooo sweet"
"Johnty. Behave" Ianto smiled, turning to face one of his old lovers, his hand rising to stroke John's face "You always like pushing the limits."
The door opened again and Ianto sighed "You didn't lock it again?
"And lock him out? Never. I know you would use the code he could never remember just to test us" John grinned, watching Jack quickly disrobe to join them in the water.
Ianto become a filling in a naughty sandwich as both men kissed and fondled, then for some reason Ianto felt a surge of anger, slipping from the water and their hands, stepping out to stand on the bathmat and turned to face them.
"It's been a shit day. Let's not forget the harshness of some words, the angry demands and the need to drain me of my psychic strength to please your need to know the fucking truth about something that cannot be changed, something that has happened so long ago that it really did not have to be an urgent thing. A day… two? No. Push, push. If you know me, truly know me as you seem to display here… you know I am angry right now for being treated as less than an equal in this relationship. I am not a toy, I am not a subservient and I do not have to answer to either of you!"Ianto snarled "If you respected me, you would give me some peace."
"some peace, come on. You are so good at avoidance it's an art form!" John laughed "Come on Candy. Tomorrow you will have a new dance that we can't learn the steps to in order to keep up. We have to strike when the iron is hot, is that the old saying?"
"And I told you. I laid out the torn, shredded remains of my heart for you, now fuck off and let me be for a while" Ianto turned and stormed from the room, snatching the robe from the back of the door and Jack turned to John with open annoyance.
You didn't have to push."
"Come on … we both pushed. We both know we have to, he is the master of avoidance." John argued "Now we know. We had to know. Our babies… my little one … was with you. Yours with him. We really loved and needed one another once. Can't I just be a little selfish and grieve that?"
"Grieve. Yeah, but you sound like you are blaming him for this. He was not the one who gave us way. I remember that much. It was you slamming into our quarters with wide eyes, out of breath and terrified as you yelled at us to run" Jack stepped out of the water "and he has every right to have kept things from us. Everything we thought it was … dreamed we once had. Always had but squandered it all ...including him."
"I know." John sighed.
.
.
.
.
Ianto walked into his sleeping waters and turned to lock the door, this time using a code he knew neither of the other two men knew. His daughter's birthday.
He then sat on the edge of the bed and let himself be still. Silent. Contemplative.
He wept.
