A/N: Penultimate chapter, guys! Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Chapter 21
The Interviews went without a hitch as well, although Rachel had been awake at night, thinking about Kurt's situation. She was relieved when they were finally over.
Later that day, the applicants were gathered in the group room where there was a Q&A with some students.
"You can ask us anything", Ruby, a student of Harvard, said. "Studies, private life, ambitions."
"Really anything?", a guy who was sitting next to Rachel, said. "You can ask us anything, but what we answer and what not is our choice", Sheldon smirked, and some people laughed.
A girl lifted her hand. "How hard is studying? Do you even have a private life?", she asked.
"Of course it's harder here and at NYADA than at other universities, but after you got used to it, you will see that you still have time for private activities.", Sheldon answered.
There was some mumbling and some applicants sighed, relieved.
"Next question, guys!", he ordered.
Nobody said anything. Until…
"Is it true what everyone says? That Harvard isn't as great as everyone thinks?"
Rachel turned to Finn. What the hell?
"I don't know. I mean I don't have studied at other universities to judge it.", Ruby answered hesitantly.
"A simple 'Yes' would have been enough."
Stunned, Rachel looked at Finn. She couldn't believe that he had said that. With that arrogant tone. For a reason, she was getting furious, more furious than ever before.
Don't do it, don't do it, don't do it…
"Of course", she suddenly snapped.
Finn turned around. "What?"
"Of course Harvard is not good enough for you because your grandparents said it." She tried to sound calm, but she failed. After Finn acted like that, she was quite unsuccessful to keep a clear head.
She could see something like hurt in Finn's eyes. "That's not true,", he mumbled.
Suddenly, Rachel couldn't hold herself back anymore. "What's not true? That Harvard is not good enough for you and neither am I because your grandparents told you so? That you always do what they want instead of thinking about what you want? You're such a coward!"
Everyone went silent. Rachel could feel a burning feeling in her eyes.
No.
Oh no.
She wouldn't start crying in front of all the others and embarrass herself even more. Quickly, she got up and left the room. She ran down the hallway to the stairs, but then, Finn took her by the wrist, forcing her to turn around.
"That's not true", he repeated breathlessly. His cheeks were reddened, his hair ruffled. Everytime she saw him, she wanted to reach out for him so bad, no matter how mad she was.
That couldn't be.
Why did she still want him, after everything he had done?
"What is not true?", Rachel croaked. She didn't expect the pain in his eyes.
"That you are not good enough for me." She stared at him, perplexed. But then, she balled her fists, angry. "That's nonsense.", she hissed.
"Rachel…"
"No!", she cut him off. "You can't do that. You can't break up and humiliate me in front of your friends just to stroke my hand and wish me good luck! You have showed me you didn't want me in your soo perfect life."
"That wasn't…me…"
First, he ran after her, now, he couldn't even say a complete sentence.
"It wasn't you?", she scoffed.
"I'm sorry about my behavior. I'm so, so sorry, Rachel. But I just…can't. It's not possible."
Rachel threw her arms up. "And why are you even here?"
"Because I…" Again, he stopped talking. Then, he opened and closed his mouth like a fish.
"You don't know what you what from me. You don't know what you want in your life, I think you don't know anything.", Rachel spat.
His cheeks became redder. He also balled his fists, then he ruffled his hair frustratedly.
"I know exactly what I want.", he said, suddenly determined.
"Why don't you just take it?"
"Because what I want never mattered."
Rachel's eyes widened. "Not to me! To me, it always mattered what you wanted!", she yelled, pushing Finn with her hands.
Finn quickly grabbed her wrists, keeping her hands on his chest. They needed to breathe fast.
Then, everything just kind of happened. Finn pulled her closer to himself, Rachel leapt at him.
Their mouths met. Finn grabbed Rachel's thigh, burying his nails into her skirt. She grabbed his neck and bit into his lip because she was angry. He moaned into her lips.
All the weeks where he tried to ignore him suddenly came tumbling down to her. Rachel moaned desperately, it almost sounded like a sob. She enjoyed how his lips tasted.
Suddenly, the kiss felt like an apology. Rachel could feel how long Finn wanted to do that and how much force he needed to let it be. Finn kissed her like he wanted to drown inside her, there were so many emotions: despair, longing, hate, desire and everything in between.
It drove Rachel crazy, but at the same time, she had never felt more alive. She didn't know how that was possible.
Finn grabbed her by the waist, lifted her and stumbled down the hallway until they were at his room. Rachel continued sucking on his lips like there was no tomorrow. Somehow, he unlocked his door. Finn carried her over the threshold and slammed the door. This time, nobody would disturb them.
Now, they were on his bed, and Finn continued kissing her everywhere.
"Rachel…" He whispered her name like back then on the stairs. Because of the memories of that evening, she felt hurt again. Tears were running down her cheek and Finn froze. Softly, he caressed her cheek whispering her name, again and again.
"I'm sorry", he whispered, kissing her temple. He didn't stop kissing her face.
"That's not enough", Rachel whispered back. Finn kissed her ear. "Yes, for me neither."
"Things can't continue like that, Finn." Suddenly, he smiled and visibly relaxed. His face expression softened.
"Why are you smiling?", Rachel asked, confused.
His glance was hopeful. "It's been a long time since you said my name. Feels good."
Shaking her head, Rachel took his face, kissing him softly. It felt like a dream, his mouth had the perfect form for hers.
"On the football field back then…I told you that you couldn't lose something that didn't belong to you.", Finn whispered.
The memories about it hurt a bit. Nevertheless, she forced herself to look at Finn.
"That was a lie. I have been yours since you threw the money on my head, Rachel Berry."
Rachel's eyes widened when Finn said those words. "I told you that I will work in the firm of my parents after I graduated. And…my grandparents want me to marry a woman soon. They would engage me right now so that nothing could go wrong."
Rachel wrinkled her nose in distaste.
"You have been special to me from the beginning on. I have changed. I didn't notice but my friends and my family did. After grandfather had seen us on Halloween…" He gulped. "…, he was sure."
"Was that the reason for your bruise on the face? Did he beat you?", Rachel asked carefully.
"Yes", Finn answered quietly. He had never talked about grandfather with someone. Not even with Kurt. He was sure his friends grew suspicious when he came over to them with a blue eye or another bruise, but nobody ever talked about it. Luckily for him.
"Does he beat you often, Finn?", Rachel whispered. He couldn't answer when she was looking at him so compassionately.
"That's not important", he answered a little bit late. "Anyway, they thought you were dangerous. That you are more important to me than our firms."
After Finn had said these words, realization dawned on him.
His grandparents were right.
He was in love with Rachel Barbra Berry.
Kurt once asked him whether she was worth all the trouble. Finn listened to his family and friends, which had been the dumbest decision he had ever taken, and he hated himself he had left Rachel.
"And you are right, I don't know what I want. My life is predestined, I feel like a character in a script which had been written for me and I'm not allowed to change anything."
Rachel grumbled quietly.
"After grandfather saw us, he flipped out. He doesn't want me to spend time with someone he doesn't approve of." Rachel just looked at him, saying nothing.
"You are going to be the biggest star the world has ever seen. You have to find someone whose family approves of you. But that's impossible with my family. I can't offer you anything but a lot of problems I don't know how to solve."
Finn expected that Rachel would get up and leave. He knew he deserved it. But she didn't move. Instead, she kissed his temple.
"Oh Finn.", she mumbled, kissing him across the jawline.
"You are so silly."
Well, he didn't see that one coming.
"Why are you thinking about the future if we have the present? And why didn't you tell me sooner?", she pouted.
"I'm so sorry, Rachel. I thought we would be better off without each other."
"But it didn't feel better. You turned me down in the worst way."
"I know. Gosh, Rachel, I'm really sorry." He didn't know what he would do if she didn't forgive him. If she left him because of the stress. If he couldn't be that close to her anymore.
"Finn", Rachel mumbled, kissing him on his cheek. "It's okay, I forgive you."
After he had realized what she had just said, he pulled her closer to himself. "I won't disappoint you again, I promise…", he murmured, kissing her passionately.
With that kiss, he wanted to show her how sorry he was, share all of his emotions with her.
After a while, Rachel started undoing his buttons. "What are you doing?", he asked her.
"Undress you. That's what couples do if they reconcile, right?"
"We are a couple?", Finn asked hesitantly.
"Of course we are, silly! Do you want to do it or not?", Rachel asked, amused.
Finn wanted her. He wanted her so bad, more than he ever wanted something. "Yes, yes I want to do it", he panted.
Screw his grandparents. Rachel was right, they had the present. And they would enjoy it.
Here she was lying.
Next to Finn Hudson to whom she had just lost her virginity.
In a residential at Harvard. Gosh, she loved her life.
"You are crazy, Rachel Berry.", Finn laughed quietly. Rachel looked at him.
"Did I just say that out loud?", she wondered. Finn nodded, smirking. "How was your first time?", she asked, caressing his abs.
"It was okay. I was fourteen, really drunk and I messed it up."
"Fourteen?!", Rachel gasped. Then he must have a lot of experience. She didn't want to know with how many girls he had already slept.
"Puck and I betted, and I just did it. It only took two minutes and it didn't feel nice."
Rachel grimaced. "But this time was perfect, right?", she said softly, kissing his chest.
Finn nodded. "Yes, yes it was."
Both of them didn't say anything for a while, just enjoying each other's company.
"Change of topic: How did your interviews go?", Rachel asked, sitting up and leaning against his chest. Finn went silent.
Rachel turned to him. "Talk to me. Did something go wrong?"
Finn shook his head. "No offence, but I think Harvard and all that sucks."
Rachel took a deep breath. Not everyone had the same dreams and ambitions, she needed to respect that.
"When the interviews took place, I felt so...numb and uninvolved. It just felt so wrong", Finn admitted.
"If you don't want to study at Harvard, what do you want?"
Finn shrugged helplessly. "Please don't ask me that question. You were right when you said I didn't know anything. If I allow myself to dream I will be more depressed afterwards."
Rachel thought for a while, then, she got up, putting on her underwear and Finn's grey shirt, and searching for something. Finally, she found Finn's notebook and ripped out a paper.
"What are you doing?", Finn asked her, frowning. In the meantime, he had put on his boxers.
"We are making a list", Rachel answered, snuggling against Finn on the bed.
Finn threw her a questioning glance.
"When I'm down, I make lists. It always helped me keep a clear head and stay motivated, even if everything sucked."
"You want to make a list for me?", Finn asked, amused. Rachel nodded eagerly. "Maybe I will motivate you."
"What do you want to do in your life? You always said you love journeys."
Finn thought for a while. "Yes. Maybe to...Thailand? I love their culture."
"Great.", Rachel said, writing it down.
1. Trip to Thailand
"Next? It could be anything."
"I want to continue playing football.", Finn admitted quietly.
"Sounds good.", Rachel mumbled, drawing a football which was not that good. But at least, Finn was smiling again.
2. Football
"I...I want to make music", Finn thought out loud. "I used to play the drums, but then, I stopped because I never had time."
Rachel lifted her head. "I didn't know that. Maybe we could make music together sometime.", she said excitedly.
Finn grinned. "Absolutely." Rachel wrote it down.
3. Make Music
"And what else?"
Finn gulped. "I want to find my own way concering my future job. I want to find out what I want to do. I don't know whether it is possible, but..."
Rachel caressed his cheek and leaned forward to kiss him softly. "Everything is possible, Finn.", she whispered and wrote it down.
4. Find a Fulfilling Job
"Oh, that thing is important.", Finn said, taking Rachel's pen and writing something down.
5. Rachel
Rachel's eyes widened and she looked back and forth between Finn and the list.
"If you are by my side, I have the feeling I can succeed in anything", Finn whispered. "You make me happy, Rachel Berry."
Rachel didn't know what to say. So, she just leaned over to him, kissing him, again and again.
A/N: You didn't see it coming, right? From angry shoutings to Finchel fluff. lol
Btw: The student called Ruby is a reference to Ruby Bell, the counterpart of Rachel in the original
Stay tuned for the final of High (School) Society...
