Chapter 23

"Ben," she pleaded softly, unable to do anything else.

She couldn't read him. She tried to reach out to him with the force, but his mind had been blocked off from her. His expression betrayed nothing. He stared at her as if she were a stranger.

She shivered, never feeling so helpless in her life. But she'd seen him turn to the Light in her vision. He didn't want to obey Snoke. But now she understood just how powerful Snoke was. How tight of a hold he had on Ben's heart. Was there really no hope?

"You think you can turn him?" Snoke mocked. "Pathetic child. I cannot be betrayed; I cannot be beaten. I see his mind, I see his every intent. Yes. I see him turning the lightsaber to strike true, and now…foolish child…he ignites it…and KILLS his true enemy!"

Rey's breathing was shaky as she awaited her execution. She flinched at the sound of a lightsaber turning on…

But it wasn't the saber in front of her.

Suddenly she fell to the ground and was able to look behind her.

Her lightsaber sliced Snoke's body in half. Slowly, the lightsaber floated through the air, to cut through Snoke's body entirely.

She reached out and grabbed its hilt, slowly standing up, gazing into Kylo's eyes.

He was breathing shakily. He'd committed treason in front of the entire Red Guard. To save her. He turned on his lightsaber as she held hers, and suddenly she understood her vision; he had turned. She saw the look in his eyes, and she knew the lightsaber in his hand wasn't meant for her.

She gave him a determined look, unwavering from his gaze. I'm with you, she said with her heart. You're not alone.

His eyes flooded with emotion, as he said back, neither are you.

In that moment, they'd become one, finding the force together. Simultaneously, they turned around, back to back, ready to fight for the other. Through the force, their hearts and minds had melded together so closely neither warrior could tell where their heart started and the other's began. Each move and strike with their weapon were so in sync it was as if they'd rehearsed it. It was exhilarating, to be so in tune with another soul. It was a high, it was a rush of emotions, it was energy, it was everything.

Rey gave battle cries, curdled with rage, as if Kylo's pain fed her drive, and Kylo thought analytically, and carefully, as though the Jedi he'd been training to be had come back from the depths of his despair.

She brought me back to myself, he thought. I'm alive again, and it's because of her.

Rey could feel both. She felt the Light whenever she brushed against Ben's back, or he pushed her up against him to give her the boost she needed to strike true. But at the same time, she felt the darkness swirling around her. Every aspect of the force overcame her body and soul, and together, the light and dark in both of them dominated their enemies.

No words were spoken, and eventually, they weren't back to back anymore, but both Rey and Kylo didn't worry whether one word turn on the other; they were in this together.

~.~

Kylo took out two of his opponents, but three guards were left, circling around him like three predators around a wounded animal.

Kylo wanted to help Rey. He saw her in the corner get wounded in the arm by one of the guards. The pain of her wound seemed to egg her on though, and she kept going. He himself was surrounded by three guards, circling around him like three predators around a stray animal.

He put his arms down, suddenly looking down and focusing. On his own breathing, the sounds around him, letting both sides of the force guide his actions.

He felt it before it happened; the guard behind him making a move to swing their weapon and strike him. He turned around just in time to block the attack with his saber. As the guard to his right tried to strike him, he ducked underneath the staff of the guard in front of him, that had attempted to use it to pin him. He used the other two guards who had closed in on him as barriers. He struck one of the guards in the face, and kneeled, waiting for the remaining two to make a move.

Kylo knelt down and grabbed the staff one of the guards had dropped and used it to block his enemy's while using the saber to counterattack and take them down. He dropped it once it cut into the guard's back. In the last attack he'd managed to lodge his saber into the guard's neck, but it got stuck. He did his best to get it out but not before the last guard took a whack at him. Now he was unarmed, forced to dodge the guard's attacks.

The last red guard swung at Kylo's throat, but he ducked out of the way just in time. He made a move to strike Kylo again, but Kylo grabbed the staff, desperately trying to take the weapon away from him. But the guard pulled it over Kylo's head and used it to pin him in pace against the guard.

Kylo fought hard and pushed against the guard, but it was no use. He was helpless, the rod of the guard's staff threatening to suffocate him. He was losing the ability to breathe.

~.~

Rey was on her last obstacle, but the guard had trapped her arm. She couldn't take a swing at him with her saber. She writhed and pushed against the guard but unless she dropped her lightsaber her arm wouldn't be free.

That was when she was struck with an idea. With lightning speed she dropped her lightsaber, withdrew her arm and kneeled down on the ground, grabbing the hilt again in her hand and swinging first to slice the guard's legs, then standing and slicing his throat. The guard stopped moving, and fell over the ledge finally defeated.

Rey started to calm down, but one thought had entered her mind. Where's…

Her eyes finally found him.

She could feel his life force draining, his legs were trembling, and he was unable to fight against the guard.

She wouldn't be able to get to him in time. She had one chance. "BEN!" she cried, turning off and throwing the lightsaber in his direction hoping he had enough life left to force grab it the rest of the way. It landed in his hand. He pressed the button quickly on then off again, and the guard loosened his grip.

He fell down, leaving Kylo free.

His eyes were on Rey, looking at her like it was the first time.

~.~

They'd won. They'd really won, and they'd done it together. She fought with him, side by side just like his vision said. He wanted to run to her. Hold her in his arms, give her the kiss of a lifetime and run away with her. They belonged together. They'd been one, heart and soul and survived.

But her eyes didn't reflect the same want, the same desire for him he had for her. "The fleet!" she exclaimed, running and pointing to the window. "Order them to stop firing! There's still time to save the fleet!"

The fleet. The war. He suddenly remembered.

His gaze went to the throne. Snoke, his master…he'd killed him.

It was the way of the Sith. He'd killed his own master. It was for the best, Snoke had just been using him. He'd even been willing to promise Kylo to General Hux for his compliance, like some bride for auction. But now he was free of it all. And for the first time, he felt a weight off of his chest.

Snoke no longer had dominion over his heart. He couldn't hurt the people he loved anymore…he'd never hurt Rey again. He'd never touch him again. It was a relief.

He stared at the throne with desire. It's what he'd wanted for so long…and now it was within his grasp. All he had to do was take it. He couldn't help himself, he took a step forward, towards the seat of power. He took a few more before pausing in front of it, staring at it in awe.

There were so many possibilities. All of his plans, his ambitions...he had the power to make them a reality.

"Ben?" her soft voice called.

It finally broke him of his trance. For this to mean anything…he needed Rey at his side. He needed her sitting here with him.

His breathing was shaky, the realization of what he'd done finally hitting him. He'd accomplished the impossible; he'd assassinated the Supreme Leader. "it's time to let old things die," he said.

"Snoke," he said, turning around to face her. "Skywalker." He took a few steps towards her slowly. "The Sith. The Jedi. The Rebels…let it all die."

Her face was confused. She didn't understand where he was going with this. Or…she chose not to understand.

He held out his hand. "Rey…" he said softly, "I want you to join me." Finally, now that Snoke was dead, he was free to speak his heart, to make his own decisions. He could articulate his feelings for her.

But he could see on her face he was losing her. The hope, the excitement, the love she'd had for him...he could feel it fading.

"We can rule together, and bring a new order to the galaxy."

"Don't do this Ben," she said brokenly, tears shining in her eyes. She was so disappointed. "Please don't go this way – "

"– No, no…you're still…holding on! LET GO!" he said. No. He was so close. She understood now, the depth of his feelings for her. She'd seen him fight for her, kill for her…she knew what he was willing to do. He'd never let another being hurt her again, he'd protect her with his life. He'd be everything, her lover, her teacher, her best friend, her support, her strength. She just needed to give in. One yes, that was all he needed, for them to be happy for the rest of their lives.

She had to say yes.

He could feel her doubt. It swirled around her heart like a toxin, clouding her mind. Her doubt in him.

He couldn't stand it. What was holding her back? What was she clinging to so desperately? Why was she so stuck in the past?!

And then he saw it in her mind. What she saw in the cave…needing to know what was wrong with her, why she was abandoned by her own mother and father. She didn't think she was good enough because she was broken. She wasn't ready to hold that much power, she was barely just scratching the surface of her own.

I'm broken too, he thought. But together…we're two broken pieces that make each other whole. We can be whole together, if you just… "Do you want to know the truth about your parents?" he asked. "Or have you always known?"

She was silent, tears running down her face.

"And you'd just hidden it away," he said sadly, stepping closer, until they were only a few feet apart.

He needed her to be honest with herself. All the answers were in her own memories, she'd just stubbornly blocked them out. But she needed to acknowledge the facts. She needed to stop playing this game of denial. "You know the truth," he said, looking directly into her eyes. "Say it."

That's all he'd been trying to do, this whole time. Make her see the truth.

She didn't speak a word, like it was caught in her throat.

"Say it," he said again, in a gentle tone.

Finally, she looked down, then back up at him, and brokenly said, "They were nobody."

Just like me, he heard the thought, but ignored it. "They were filthy junk traders. Who sold you off for drinking money," he nodded his head to the side, like it was a common fact that didn't have any merit or meaning. They weren't even worth thinking about. "They're dead, in a pauper's grave in the Jakku desert," he said. They'd probably drunk themselves to death or died of starvation. They weren't the kind of people who could sustain a child, why would they be able to sustain themselves? "You have no place in this story…you come from nothing. You're nothing," he shook his head sadly. She wasn't like him, she didn't come from a line of famous force users, like he did. She wasn't force royalty. She wasn't a Skywalker, or a Kenobi, or hero with a destiny.

She was a girl who smelled like sunlight and rain.

"But not to me," he said. He held his hand out again. You were never nothing to me. I've loved you since the beginning, and I never stopped. And I promise you, I never will. "Join me," he said again. Initially, his hand was outstretched as if to shake hands with a business partner.

But then he turned his wrist slightly, his palm up and open to her.

She wasn't a coworker; she was his partner in all things. And if she said yes, she'd be the light and life of his life.

His queen.

"Please," he begged softly, tears welling up in his own eyes.

She sniffled, and said mentally, there was a time when you said you could take whatever you want.

He swallowed nervously, color rising to his face, and said, "I don't want you Rey," he said. "I need you."

She still didn't answer.

"Your parents abandoned you," he began. "Skywalker betrayed you. The Resistance can't help you. You're alone," he said. "But you don't have to be."

He took one step closer, still holding out his hand. She kept looking at it, hesitant but not closed off to it.

"I'll never abandon you," he said. "I'll never betray you. It will be the two of us; equals in the force, in the new order. If you take my hand…you'll have it forever."

~.~

She knew it was true. But there was a darkness in his eyes. He was going down a path that she couldn't follow. Not as a Jedi.

What he'd said was right. Her path to the dark side would be thinking she was all alone. Thinking the only person in the world who was there from her was him.

But Finn, and Leia, and Luke, and Chewie…they were her friends. And her friends needed help. They were waiting for her.

She raised her hand.

There was partial disbelief on his face, like he was relieved and surprised she was joining him. His gaze was determined and unwavering.

She was inches away from putting her hand in his. And part of her wanted it more than anything. She knew when she took his hand, he'd sweep her off her feet, embrace her with all the tenderness of a husband and kiss her like she was made of glass. Because to him, she was precious. It was everything she ever wanted.

But this wasn't about her.

She force-grabbed the lightsaber out of his hand and tried to put it in her hand but was shocked to feel some resistance.

And then they were both exuding the entirety of their strength in the force, doing their best to grab it from the other.

Stop! Kylo exclaimed, his frustration and fear mounting.

She knew why it was vital that he get it before her; If she grabbed it, and she turned it towards him to fight, he wouldn't be able to hurt her. Not after what they'd done together.

I can't let you have it, he said through the force. If I let you win it's as good as running myself through with my own.

The Resistance is in trouble. I can't abandon them. I can't turn my back on people that need me. You need to let me go.

I CAN'T! His heart exploded, and with that last thought, the lightsaber exploded into fragments.

The last thing Kylo saw as he was jolted back was the eyes of the girl he loved hating him before he succumbed to the darkness.