Lily didn't realize that she'd fallen asleep on James until the car stopped and the door was ripped open, though the air was a lot less biting here at the castle than it had been at the cliffs.
"Lily," Emma was standing in the doorway, looking miserable and furious. "What the hell is this?" She was looking at her phone, and Lily had no idea what it was, because Emma wasn't showing it to her. Lily sat up and looked at James, who shrugged.
"Are you going to show me?"
"Get out of the car," Emma said, and Lily sighed, but did as she was told.
"You need to go and rest," She said. "You look-"
But then Emma's phone was being shoved under her nose and a picture of Lily and Bertram from that morning was covering her screen. Lily sighed, running her hand through her hair. "Go and get some rest." She repeated.
"I can't now!" Emma shook her head. "Why do you keep doing this to me? Do you want me to die young? Do you want me to never get more than three hours of sleep at a time?"
"Go and sleep now. I'm telling you to do nothing about this."
"What is it?" James asked.
"Bertram." Lily very nearly rolled her eyes. "Oh, I forgot to tell you that I talked to him this morning. I was going to confront him, but then I decided not to when I saw his stupid face." James peered over at the picture, cleared his throat and nodded.
"That's a dangerous line to walk." He said, but he didn't look upset. She had told him that that was her plan after all.
"Yeah, but-"
"Someone needs to fill me in."
"I think you're already filled in." Lily said a bit sharply , remembering what James had told her. "Bertram is trying to seduce me into giving up my throne."
Emma bit her bottom lip. "I still have to do something about this, even if you want to play with him."
Lily looked around for nearby ears, but all she saw was Moody, and he gave her a nod to let her know that there was no one around.
"We do have to do something." Lily agreed. "We have to find whoever took that picture and sold it to the press. They shouldn't be allowed in the castle anymore. And that's not your job, right Moody?"
"Right'o, Princess."
"So go and get some rest." Lily said for a third time. Emma's shoulders deflated and she nodded her head once.
"Alright. Just," She shook her head. "Just stay away from him until I'm feeling better, alright? My brain feels so foggy right now that I can't think straight."
"Promise." Lily nodded. "I'll wait to yell at you until you're feeling better too."
Emma sighed. "Much appreciated."
The party walked into the castle and Emma went off to her room, Moody went to check some tapes and Lily and James started toward the dining room, hoping to find that lunch had been set up.
"Lillian Jane!" Lily froze in the middle of the hallway and spun around on her toes.
"Reginald!"
And there was Reggie, bouncing black curls, big pointy smile and arms wide open. Lily met him in the middle and threw her arms around his neck. Mary wasn't far behind them and she joined in on the hug as well.
There was a lot of commotion for a few minutes as Lily and Reggie said over and over again how good it was to see one another, and how excited they were about him visiting, and gave a few more hugs.
"I'm so glad that you came early." Lily said. "Mary would have been so disappointed if you hadn't."
"She knew of course. I tried to make it a surprise by telling Anita that I had exams today, but really they were yesterday." He slung an arm around Mary's shoulder, bending down to kiss her on the cheek. "Can't get anything past this one though."
"Actually, you can." Lily smirked. "You're about a foot taller than her. It should be rather easy." Reggie snorted and then stood up straight, resting his elbow on top of Mary's head.
"Stop it!" Mary shoved him away. "James, come meet, my boo."
James had been standing off to the side, uncharacteristically quiet. "Yeah, what are you doing over there, come here," Lily held out her hand to James and he stepped up to them with a small smile. "Reginald, this is James."
"Ah, yes. I've heard much about your hair." Reggie held his hand out to James and James laughed as he took it.
"Mary does like to make me feel uncomfortable whenever she can."
"She does that," Reggie said, looking at Mary with a lovestruck look that seemed out of context, but Lily was used to it. Reggie had always been enamored with everything that Mary did.
"Well, I've heard a lot about you. It's nice to finally put a face to the- no, nevermind, I've seen many pictures of you."
"Mary's an over sharer."
"Yeah, but it's nice to finally meet you."
"Thanks, you too."
"Now we can go on a double date!" Mary clapped her hands together and jumped up onto her toes. "Lily and James have been leaving me out for like, two whole weeks now." She said this to Reggie's, who pulled her closer and kissed her temple.
"That sounds so hard." Lily rolled her eyes.
"We have not left you out."
"Yes, you have," Mary stuck her lip out. Lily huffed and looked up at the ceiling, leaning against James as she spun around. "Come on, let's go and eat lunch. Our first double date starts in about an hour."
"It does?" Mary and Reggie asked at the same time and then laughed.
"Yes, we have a parade and then a festival to go to."
Mary's shoulders dropped and she cussed. "I forgot about that. I thought you were going to take me to a fancy restaurant."
"Why do you keep forgetting about-"
"Because Reggie is here!" She wrapped her arms around his middle and shook him slightly. He narrowed his brow. "I'm only thinking about him right now."
"You haven't stopped talking about Lily since I got here. The first thing you said was, 'Guess what my ball gown for Lily's birthday looks like.'"
"I love Lily the most, you knew this when we started dating."
"I'm only saying that you were lying to Lily just now. You haven't been thinking about me. You've just been talking to me about Lily in person instead of on the phone."
"I like it better this way," Mary grinned, and Lily laughed.
"Alright, let's go and eat please."
"Yeah, they nearly froze Lily at the shoot. She lost her entire breakfast shivering." James nodded.
"That's one way to work off that extra cinnamon roll." Reggie laughed. "They didn't let you wear a parka for your engagement photos?" They started walking down the hall.
"No!" Mary stopped. "We already ate, and I have to go and change for the parade. This is not a parade outfit."
"We haven't changed yet." Lily narrowed her brow. "And I still want to visit with Reggie. You can't keep him all to yourself. Especially not after you avoided Petunia for the first day and a half."
Mary rolled her eyes. "Someone probably already picked out what you're going to wear. And I'll share him later. I need him to help me."
"You know how to get dressed, Mary." Reggie said, "I can come-"
"I don't need help getting dressed." She quirked her brow and Lily knew what she was going to say before she said it and started pulling James down the hall. "I need help getting undressed. This isn't an outfit meant to be taken off alone."
She rolled her eyes.
"Ah," She could hear Reggie nodding his head. "You understand though, right, Lily?"
"Oh shut up, Reginald."
"Oh, she used my full name."
Lily kept walking. "I'll see you later,"
"Yes you will!" Mary called after her.
James laughed as they rounded the corner. "That was almost exactly what I imagined it would be."
"Really?"
"Yeah, Mary talks about him a lot. And he seems to fit in with you and Mary's dynamic. Which he would have to since you both seem to like him so much. Sirius is going to be crushed."
Lily laughed now and bumped her arm against his. "He is not. Though he will pretend to be."
"Yeah, he will." James agreed. "He's good at being dramatic. Will it bother Reginald?"
"You can call him, Reggie. And no. He's not the jealous type. He might pretend to amuse Mary, but he knows he's not in danger of losing her to anyone." Lily bit the tip of her tongue. "They dote on each other, he's not unjustly confident or anything."
"How long have they been together?"
"Almost three years? They met at uni, through me actually. Reggie was in my CCP class."
"CCP?"
"Comparative Cultures and Politics. He's going into Environmental Policy or something like that. He'll fight oil companies and the like. Probably. He's never actually explained to me what he wants to do with his degree. He's also majoring in math though so," She shrugged.
"Versatile."
"Mary certainly thinks so."
James snorted and Lily smiled at him as he held open the door to the dining room. No one else was in there, but there was food set up for them. Emma must not have forgotten to let the kitchen staff know that they'd gotten back.
"What?" James asked as they took their seats.
"You snorted." She said.
"No, I didn't."
"Yes, you did. And earlier I messed up my hair when Emma showed me that picture of me and Bertram." James smiled at her.
"You think we're starting to adopt each other's traits?"
"Yeah." She nodded. "Also, I don't want to talk about it too much, but did you see where that picture was?"
"Twitter." James answered. "But I'm sure it was on some gossip rag first. A blog maybe."
Lily shook her head. "Who would do that? Who in the castle would sell a picture of me?"
"I don't like it." James said. "Did he bring any staff here with him?"
"No," Lily shook her head. "And he hasn't had anyone log in as a visitor either. Moody would know even if he didn't sign anyone in. That means that it was just one of our staff and that feels… terrible."
"We had something like that happen a few years ago. My mum was arrested at a protest against something or other and one of the staff went on record, speaking out against her and how she wasn't genuine in her interest for the cause. I think it was something environmental actually, though it's hard to keep them straight."
"Because she's been arrested so many times?"
"Yeah, exactly." James grinned. "But we found out who had done it because he started bragging about it to the other staff. Maybe you can talk to Amelia and Gwen. I'll talk to Benjy and Arden."
"You got Benjy and Arden? They're hilarious." Lily laughed. "They used to work in the kitchen. Benjy burned everything he touched, but Arden was actually pretty good."
"Yeah, they seem like good guys." James nodded. "Sirius and Benjy got along really well."
Lily nodded and then started piling food onto her plate. "I can finally feel all my toes again and they kind of hurt."
James shook his head. "I can't believe they made you do that. I'll pick out your outfit for today. Emma's taking a nap, she won't know until it's too late." Lily snorted.
"Maybe I'll just keep this on, and add some more layers."
"That's not a bad idea. That's a nice pair of jeans." He was looking at his plate now, so he missed Lily's eye roll.
"You didn't like the dresses they put me in?" She took a large bite of her pasta dish and then leaned against her elbow, facing him.
He gave her a look that was near exasperated, but also let her know that he had liked them. "They were beautiful, and you were beautiful. But I would have preferred you wear a coat. I was cold and I was in layers. Save the dresses for something else."
"Like what?"
"You said that you didn't like it when I go on about how pretty you are."
Lily scoffed. "No, I did not say that. I love hearing people tell me that I'm pretty. What I had said was that it doesn't make me blush when you tell me I'm pretty."
"Ah, right. And then I get all red and you like that."
"I do like to see you get embarrassed." Lily nodded.
"Alright," James turned in his chair to look at her fully and Lily tilted her head, smiling at him. "I think you look incredibly fit in those jeans. And those dresses were something else, but you'd probably look good in a paper sack."
"Probably," Lily agreed. "But I never understood why people say 'paper sack.' Who goes around wearing paper sacks?"
James ran a hand through his hair and turned back to his lunch. "You're unbelievable."
"You want me to tell you how pretty you are now?"
He bit his tongue, "Of course I do."
Lily laughed and put a hand on his arm. "It's not just your hair. I like your dimples and your eyes and your jaw. You'd also look good in a paper sack. Or one of my dresses from today." She reached up and ran her finger over his jawline absentmindedly.
She realized what she was doing when she looked from his jaw to his eyes and it appeared that they'd gone a bit molten. She had been expecting another joke about her gowns, for some pretend confident retort about how, of course he'd look good in her gowns. But instead, he just looked at her.
And then he reached up and took the hand that was still floating beside his jaw. He wrapped his fingers around her hand and slowly pulled it closer, just barely, so he could press a kiss to her palm.
Lily's other hand tightened on his arm.
She didn't know what was supposed to happen next. This was new territory for them. They had strayed from their usual playful banter and now she was full of dread- no, that wasn't right. It wasn't dread. It was thrill. It was excitement.
It was also too much. She wanted to pull her hand back, she wanted to make another joke and snap the tension that had seemed to arise from nowhere. They had been fine, a moment ago and now they were frozen in this new and terrifying moment.
She swallowed hard and was biting down so hard on the tip of her tongue that she was surprised that she couldn't taste blood. Her heart was hammering in her chest, her arms were tingling, and yet, she remained frozen.
But James, he always, seemed to know just what to do. He seemed able to read her better than most, so of course he knew that she was panicking about whatever it was that was transpiring between them just then.
"Tell me more about my dimples." His voice was serious, and Lily's mouth remained dry and incapable of speech, but then the corner of his mouth quirked up and he squeezed her hand before releasing it.
Lily took in a deep breath, that thankfully lacked the shudders that she thought would come with it, and forced herself to smile as well. "See," She pulled both of her hands onto her lap and then turned back toward the table. "I don't think we can both be this cocky. And since I've already claimed the role…" She reached for her water.
"Right. So what? I'm supposed to say 'no, Lily. I don't have dimples?' That's ridiculous, I've seen them." He scoffed, but she could hear the slight difference in his tone. It wasn't as light and easy as it had been a few minutes ago. Something had just happened, and they'd jumped past it, refused to acknowledge it, and it was weighing on both of them.
"You've already taken badminton away from me, you can't have this too."
"You made it sound like you were good at badminton." James shrugged, picking up his tea and taking a sip.
"I am good, you tosser!" Some more of the tension fell away. "I've almost won both of our games."
"Yes, sure, but I actually have won both of our games."
"I'm going to win next time."
"Sure, sure."
"Don't placate me."
"I'm going to marry you, I think it's part of the job."
It was supposed to be a joke, and Lily knew that, but the tentative smile that had found its way onto her face fell a bit.
Because being her husband was sort of like a job, in a sense. She'd looked over his resume and picked him out of a group of other qualified candidates. He would be getting paid in the sense that he'd had access to the royal families fortune after they wed. He had to attend ceremonial and state functions as part of his new role.
Because being her husband also meant being the king consort, and that was definitely a job.
"Yeah," She shook her head, because that wasn't how he'd meant it. They were back to banter and that was what she wanted. "Yeah, because I'm a real piece of work, right? But placation is grounds for firing, I think."
"Lily?" His voice was too soft, he'd been able to read her again.
"Fuck, James, why is this so hard today?" She stood up, both hands pressed against the table. "Maybe we should just go and get ready and then start over when we get in the car to go to the parade." She felt like she could use some space.
"You don't think we need to talk about this?"
"I think we've done a lot of talking today." She said quietly. "I think we've done almost too much talking today."
"You want to talk less?" He was standing now too. "Did you have something else in mind?"
Was he trying to make another joke, or was he being serious? She couldn't tell without looking at him.
But then she looked at him and his eyes were molten again.
He wasn't joking.
She pushed off the table and took a step back. Should she pretend that she didn't know that he was joking? That didn't seem right. "We'll talk later, okay? I'm just tired of everything being so heavy between us today. Reggie is here, and I just want things to be fun and light today. Yeah?"
His hand went back to his hair and then ran along his jawline, where her fingers had traced. She bit her tongue again. "Yeah, that makes sense. How long is he here for?"
"I assume just the weekend. He doesn't have Friday classes, but he does have Monday classes." James nodded.
"Alright. We'll talk later then." He flashed her a smile. "Besides, we have all the time in the world, right? Not everything has to happen before the end of the month." Lily could feel herself flushing and she didn't want him to see, so she turned on her heel and started for the door.
What exactly had he meant by everything?
"Exactly! I'll see you in an hour. I'll be the one in a head to toe snow suit!"
"Good!" He called after her, and if he thought her sudden departure strange, he didn't say so.
Getting dressed was not difficult. She chose her outfit rather quickly, fleece-lined leggings, a knee length dress, warm-ish boots, a cardigan that no one would see, and a thick wool peacoat. Also a scarf and earmuffs that matched her mittens.
What took longer than getting all that together and then pulling it all on, was convincing herself that nothing had just happened downstairs between her and James.
She'd touched his face, and then he'd make a joke about his dimples.
That was it.
He hadn't looked at her any differently than he'd done before, there hadn't been a pregnant pause, there hadn't been any lingering gazes or lumps in her throat. He heartbeat had been steady, her voice hadn't wavered at all.
Everything had been completely normal.
Of course, convincing herself of that was pointless, because it wasn't the truth. It wasn't even sort of the truth.
James liked her. Before today, she'd never been able to convince herself if this was completely true or not. She'd known that he had soft feelings toward her, that he wanted to work toward having a real relationship, but she also knew that he wasn't in a hurry, that he was willing to just be friends because that's what she wanted.
At least he had said that he was alright with just being friends.
And even now, when she knew that she fancied him, when she had felt the thrill of almost letting herself get drawn in by his magnetic gaze and intoxicating grin, she still wanted the expectation to be friendship. Because that's how they would keep from hurting each other, because that's how she would keep herself from getting disappointed. Because if they were just friends, then she didn't have to constantly think about the fact that if some other girl had chosen him, he'd be there with her doing exactly what he was doing with Lily.
He'd agreed to an arranged marriage long ago. Not an arranged marriage to Lily, but to whoever. If she hadn't initiated things, then he wouldn't be here. If they had met any other way, he wouldn't be here.
If they'd crossed paths at the State Dinner, he might have introduced her to his fiance that wasn't her, and he'd be just as charming with her as he had been with Lily. He might have taken her out to the greenhouse as well.
Because while she knew that James liked her, she also knew that he was just a good bloke who wanted to have a happy life. And part of having a happy life was setting up the foundation of a relationship so that you would get along for years to come.
If Lily let herself think beyond friendship, she remembered that her place here was interchangeable, and that hurt more than she was willing to admit.
Lily much preferred parades in the spring or summer or fall. Winter parades were cold. But they held one every month starting in January to encourage people to get out of their warm houses and spend money at the local businesses that usually see a fall in profits during the colder months.
Lily knew that it was important, including the festival afterward, but being out at the cliffs this morning had chilled her more than she had thought it would, and being inside for about an hour before the parade hadn't warmed her completely.
She also hadn't been able to shake all of the weirdness off. She was still unsure of how the rest of the day was going to unfold.
Mary and Reginald were near the doors, his arms wrapped around her and her head resting on his chest. They looked as though they'd carved their own space out of the world around them and had settled into it comfortably. Lily was used to their sickly sweet pda, but she felt a small pang of jealously as she looked at them now. Both of them were entirely sure of the other, knowing that they were together because there was nothing that either of them wanted more. That there was no one that they could want more than the other. They were completely in love in a way that Lily had given up on.
"Are we going to have to watch them be like that all day?" James appeared beside her and took her hand before she could question how things were going to play out. He wasn't going to let things be awkward, even if he'd joked/not joked about snogging her earlier.
"Yeah, they're usually like this. And they haven't seen each other in a couple weeks so I'm sure that'll only make it worse."
"You alright, Evans?" The informal way he addressed her was meant to make the question sound almost flippant, but she could tell that he meant it.
"Today is a weird day." She said, which was honest and not a heavy answer. And they needed to stay away from heavy answers for a little while.
"A lot has happened recently. Are you still upset with me?"
Lily sighed and looked up at him, "I forgot that I had been upset with you this morning. I should be, but I don't think I am. Today isn't even half over, how has so much happened?" She shook her head and then started down the stairs. James, who still had her hand, followed.
"Afternoon, friends," Lily called out in greeting. "Do you care to detach yourselves from one another?"
Reggie smiled at Lily as Mary stepped back, their arms staying around one another. "It's about time the two of you showed up. What did you do? Eat the entire dining room?"
"No, it just took me a while to get all these layers on. I'm still cold from this morning." She let go of James' hand to reach into her coat pockets and pull on her mittens.
"Well you still look amazing." Mary said, reaching out and feeling Lily's coat.
"I see you had to put on different clothes as well."
"Yeah, my skirt and boots weren't going to keep me warm." Mary looked upset about this, though her new outfit was just as colorful and bright. She had on bright pink leggings, orange leg warmers, black winter boots and then a long black coat. Her hat and scarf were varying shades of yellow, orange and pink. She looked like she was dressed in cotton candy. Lily grinned at her.
"I like the leg warmers. I didn't know we could wear those again."
"You can't. You wouldn't be able to pull them off."
"Rude." Lily muttered. "I'm going to steal yours out of spite now."
"Do you see how she's been treating me?" She looked at Reggie.
Reggie was looking at James though. "I'm sorry you've had to put up with the two of them by yourself for so long. I didn't even meet both of them at the same time, so I got eased into all of this nonsense."
"Oi!" Lily reached out and smacked Reggie's arm as Mary smacked his other arm. "Don't apologize for us!"
"Yeah, who do you think you are?" Reggie laughed and took a few steps away from them, pretending to cower behind his raised arms.
"I'm just saying, you seemed to have skipped the introduction period here and just made him jump into the deep end."
"The entire pool is a deep end in this scenario." Lily deadpanned.
"It's true," James nodded. "We're getting married in two weeks. So if you wanted to stretch this month out into a full length relationship, the first day was the only day that should have been introductory."
"Yes, and that was the day that Mary threatened your life, yes?"
"Yes," James nodded. "It was very cute."
"I'm good at threatening people!" Mary stomped her foot and they all laughed.
"So very good at it, love," Reggie stepped back up to her and kissed her forehead. "You're the most intimidating person I know."
"You better believe it bud," Mary poked him in the side.
"Look at all of you ready to go before me." Anita floated down the staircase dressed just as warm as the rest of them. "Mary, I'm particularly proud of you."
"Yes, thank you," Mary nodded as though this wasn't a suggestion that she was normally late to everything.
"Lily, James, I saw some of the pictures from this morning and they are absolutely beautiful." Anita smiled at the two of them.
"How come you always get to see things before me?" Lily asked, tilting her head to the side.
"Because I'm still the queen for another month." She said, brows raised.
"You realize that I'm going to have so much fun keeping things from you with that same line come next month." Anita smiled at her and then shook her head.
"No, you won't. I'm still your gran and you wouldn't do that to me."
"I think we both know that I will." Lily smirked. "Now let's go!"
AN: Sorry it's late! Reviews would be great!
