Chapter 20
A year and five months since he'd last seen Sasha. When he left, Nikolo had known it could take a while before he could get to Paradis again, but while he had known it was possible, he hadn't expected it to take quite this long. And to make matters worse, he was nowhere near being scheduled to go back despite his best efforts.
"But at least I'm finally getting things done here" he reminded himself as he walked along their patrol route together with Jonas. It was as he had thought on the first day: the guy really liked to mess with Eldians. Fortunately, he was rarely violent and when he was, Nikolo was there to hold him back. And during the last few weeks, it had seemed that Jonas was tuning it down a little. The former war prisoner was sure that it was sign of him making process, even if just small one. The disapproving looks and words Nikolo gave him, sometimes subtly, sometimes not so much, must've started to get through.
"See that, Nikolo? Looks like trouble to me" Jonas said in a tone that was way too happy as he saw two men arguing with each other at the market stalls, one shoving the other. He was right though, so it was their job to interfere. Jonas liked to boss people around, so Nikolo didn't mind him taking the lead, but the blond was always ready to reel him back in if things looked like they would get out of hand. And usually, they did.
"Alright, now what's the problem here?" Jonas asked, making the two men momentarily freeze. It seems they hadn't noticed the soldiers coming.
"Nothing sir, just a little disagreement" the other man said, casting a glare at the other man standing behind a vegetable stall.
"And that disagreement is about…?"
"He sold me damaged goods on full price! I was simply demanding compensation" Nikolo fought the urge to groan; they got caught in Jonas' radar for this? Attracting a soldier's attention for something so little wasn't worth the trouble they'd get in to if the soldier was in bad mood and didn't have a partner who'd keep them from doing something stupid. The man ought to thank his luck that he was there.
"I didn't know there was anything else than damaged goods in the interment zone's market" Jonas pointed out. Unnecessarily so, but Nikolo knew he wasn't exactly wrong. What they sold here was often worse than what was sold outside "With that in mind, isn't it you who's being unreasonable?"
Jonas had a point. Maybe he wouldn't cause trouble this time.
"Well… I…" the man stammered, trying to find a way to defend his case.
"You what?" Jonas asked, narrowing his eyes as he took a step towards the man "Are you talking back to me, devil?"
"I celebrated too soon… again" Nikolo thought with a sigh. Putting a hand on his partner's shoulder, he said: "I'm sure he's not that arrogant; he must simply have trouble with speaking. Isn't that right?"
Nikolo caught the man's eye, and fortunately, the Eldian wasn't stupid.
"Yes, sir" he said "I apologize for the trouble I've caused."
"Don't do it again" Nikolo said firmly "Now do get out of our sight."
"Before my partner gets any ideas"
"Yes sir!" the man all but ran off. Nikolo saw Jonas roll his eyes, managing to pull his arm back just before the man hit it "I had this under control, you could've just kept your mouth shut."
"I know what your "under control" means" Nikolo shot back "You often cause a bigger scene than there originally was and we'll have more to report."
"And here I thought you liked to do your work diligently!" Jonas said "Or does Mr. Softie not want to see his little Eldian friends get hurt?"
"This again?" Nikolo asked with a sigh. He'd gotten that nickname just a few days in to the new job, when he first stepped between Jonas and an Eldian. Well, back then it hadn't settled itself yet, for Jonas had just made a joke, but after he'd stepped in a few times, it had stuck "I simply do not wish any extra trouble for anyone; the world is unstable enough as it is."
"Whatever you say" he said "Eldian sympathizer."
He'd heard that one a few times too by now. It was risky to get such a reputation, but so far Jonas seemed to have done nothing to complain about him to the higher ups. Or maybe he had, but they turned a blind eye. Nikolo was a hard worker after all even if he did say so himself, while Jonas… well, not so much.
"Let's go" he told his partner, but not before catching the grateful smile from the Eldian merchant.
This job of his had some good sides too.
XXXXX
"I can't believe Shadis let us have our vacations at the same time so easily!" Sasha cheered as they rode towards Dauber "How did you do it?"
"Just told him that he'd get a good rest for once with you and me both gone at the same time" Connie replied "His answer to that was "haul your ass out of here and take Blouse with you while you're at it!""
Sasha laughed.
"The reputation of troublemakers is paying off!"
Good thing too, for it had been quite a while since she last had more than few days' vacation. She hadn't been home in ages, and she was sure Kaya would also be glad to see Connie.
"I wonder if she'll say anything to him this time…" she shook her head, reminding that it wasn't her business, even if these were her sister and her best friend that were in question. She didn't want them prying in to her business too much, so it was only fair she'd keep herself back as well.
"You sure your parents won't mind me coming along again?" Connie asked suddenly, pulling Sasha out of her thoughts "They might want to spend time with just family, even if they're too kind to say it."
"My dad won't hold back his tongue if he has something to say" Sasha said with a snort. Smiling at Connie, she adds: "And more importantly, you are part of the family. You're like a brother to me!"
"Kaya might not like that, but that's beside the point"
"I suppose" Connie said, his eyes trailing to south "It's just… I would've liked to introduce you to everyone, too. And Jean; Sunny and Martin would've loved to make jabs about his face."
"I'm sure they would've" Sasha said, a sad smile taking over her features as she looked at Connie with pity "Should we visit your mom before we go back to the training grounds?"
"I'm planning to, but you should stay home. I don't want to take away any of your time with your family" Connie said, making Sasha pout.
"What did I just tell you?" she asked "Besides, since you're my family, so is she by extension, right?"
Connie looked at her, and Sasha grinned. The man couldn't help smiling back.
"Okay, fair enough" he said "She would've loved you."
"Of course, I'm super charming after all! Who wouldn't love me?"
"Maybe we should ask that from the instructor?"
"Jerk" Sasha said, sticking her tongue out at him "Besides the instructor, I mean."
"Let's see… you drive Jean crazy, the captain tends to get irritated, Mikasa- "
"You're as bad as I am!" Sasha protested, making Connie laugh. Sasha laughed too, glad that she had gotten his mind elsewhere for the moment.
XXXXX
"I hate having my lunchbreak in this place!" Jonas complained as he and Nikolo leaned against a wall, eating their lunch "Remind me again why don't you want us to go outside the gate for lunch?"
"This saves us time" Nikolo replied, calmly scooping up his soup "Besides, eating peacefully here will make even us soldiers look less threatening. Food unifies people."
Jonas let out a laugh.
"We're soldiers keeping up peace; we're supposed to be threatening" he said "And how can you eat that stuff anyway? It's filthy; you should've at least brought your own lunch like I did!"
"It's plain, but eatable" Nikolo said, referring to the soup he had bought from a surprised Eldian merchant a while ago "And while ruling with fear is one way, I'd prefer to rule by trust. Please don't jeopardize that."
"…You're a weird one, you know that, right?" yes, he did know. But in the young cook's opinion, Jonas wasn't really one to talk. As much as he complained, he usually went along with whatever Nikolo wanted. At first, he had thought the guy was just lazy, but now he wasn't so sure anymore "Perhaps he's starting to see things differently as well."
"But well, everyone else is certainly doing things the traditional way. Who knows, if we keep doing things your way, the devils might let their guards down around us and let something slip" he grinned "So I guess I see your point in doing this, and I want in on the results!"
"Never mind" Nikolo sighed. Well, baby steps.
XXXXX
"Sasha, if you even think of taking that pastry, I'm disowning you for good!" her father hissed as Sasha reached out for a freshly baked treat. The woman hesitated for a second, but in the end took it anyway. Not the first time her father made that threat, and certainly not the last, either "You brat!"
"Calm down; there's plenty" Kaya says with a laugh as she brings more and Sasha cheers, dodging as her father reaches for the pastry in her hand. Popping it in to her mouth, she goes straight to her sister, scooping up two handfuls.
"Leave some for me!" Connie protests, running over to get a pastry before Sasha can eat everything "And for your family. Have some manners for a change."
"You might just as well talk to a wall" Sasha's father says, but the woman in question ignores him, too busy enjoying the food "Sasha and manners don't belong to the same sentence when it comes to food."
"Do sis and manners belong in to the same sentence when it comes to anything?"
"Hey!" this time Sasha protests "I can behave myself just fine while on duty!"
Seeing her family's disbelieving looks, she turns to her comrade "Tell them Connie!"
"She has a point" Connie admitted "Most of the time, at least."
Sasha puffed her cheeks, but the important thing was that Connie had agreed with her, even if not completely.
"See?" she said, glaring at her family, but the two just laughed. Crossing her arms, Sasha said: "Oh c'mon, how would I have gotten as far in my career as I have if I didn't?"
"Well, you are a friend of the queen" her father pointed out.
"And the Colossal titan" Kaya added before Sasha could protest.
"Not to mention the former and current Founding titans" Connie finished "Connections run the world!"
Sasha groaned.
"You're all so mean!"
Their laughter only proved her words.
XXXXX
Nikolo jogged along his usual path, lost in his thoughts. Few weeks ago, he had, once again, sent in a request to be sent on a mission to Paradis. He feared that his eagerness would be seen as suspicious, but he didn't know what else to do, for he was desperate. Did Sasha even wait for his return anymore? Or did she think he wouldn't keep his promise, that he'd never come back?
"No, Sasha's so optimistic and trusting; she hasn't lost faith yet" yes, not yet. Nikolo must still have some time left, but he mustn't take it for granted. He had to get back as soon as possible, even if it was just for a moment, even if it was to just give a note to someone else that he'd indeed come back. After all, if he got there for just three months, there was no guarantee he'd get to see Sasha. Peace or no, she must be busy.
"Hm?" suddenly Nikolo noticed that he heard steps alongside his own ones. Was someone following him or just jogging too? Turning his head to check, he almost got a heart attack as he noticed Herbert jogging right alongside him, stopping and giving him an apologetic smile as the soldier fell over in fright. Right after, he heard booming laughter from his other side. Turning his head, he saw Helmut, almost doubling over in his laughing fit. Nikolo blinked a few times, not quite sure what had happened.
"We called out to you" Herbert explained as he helped him up "Few times in fact, but you were so lost in your thoughts that you didn't notice, so we decided to just jog alongside you until you'd take notice."
"Took a lot longer than we thought it would, though" Helmut said as he finally calmed down "What's on your mind?"
"The love of my life" Nikolo blurted out, deciding that it was fineto tell these two as long as he didn't go in to too much detail. Besides, who would they even tell?
The brothers stared at him blankly, clearly having not expected that. Eventually, Helmut was the first to recover: "So… are you planning a confession or sulking over getting rejected?"
Herbert gave his brother a warning look, Nikolo noted, but he didn't mind the question. Instead, he just laughed.
"The former got close" he admitted "I haven't seen her in a long time; our jobs get in the way. But when we do, I'll… I'll tell her for sure."
"You're determined, huh" Helmut said "Come to think of it, I don't think you've ever mentioned exactly what it is that you do."
Right, he hadn't. He knew that the brothers did some manual labor inside and outside of the interment zone, but aside from that, he didn't know what they did, either. He had avoided asking on purpose because then they'd have a reason to ask him, but he didn't want to say. He was pretty sure that the Eldians wouldn't be too happy about it if they found out they had been friendly with a soldier.
"Not that it's any of our business" Herbert added "We should continue our jog; we need to be done in time so that we don't miss the curfew."
"…Yeah, we should" Helmut agreed.
"Let's see if either of you can outrun me, then" Nikolo said, and the two accepted the challenge immediately. Starting to run, Nikolo bit back a sigh. It was good that he hadn't needed to say it, but this was sure to put a bit of a drift between him and the brothers. He just couldn't win, could he?
XXXXX
"Connie should just take it easy; he's supposed to be on vacation" Kaya said, and Sasha glanced behind her where Connie was piling up haystacks as she and Kaya cleaned the stables.
"I'm on a vacation too; shouldn't I also get to take it easy?" Sasha said with a grin, but Kaya only gave her a blank look.
"You live here sis, but Connie's a guest" the girl said "Besides, with how much you eat it's only fair that you pay for it by working."
"Oh c'mon, I'm a war hero!" Sasha protested "Shouldn't me risking my life for everyone within the walls be enough of a payment?"
Kaya just stared, and Sasha stared right back. Eventually, it was the brunette whose poker face failed first, making her burst in to laughter, Kaya soon following her example.
"When you're retired, sure" the girl said "I'll go give Connie a hand."
Sasha highly doubted Connie needed the help, but didn't say it. She was sure Kaya just wanted to spend time with him, anyway. The blush on her face when she reached Connie was a good telltale sign of it. From the looks of it, Connie was trying to stop Kaya from lifting a haystack. Good move on his part; Sasha was pretty sure that these ones were too big and heavy for the girl… and she was right.
"Ouch" she muttered as Kaya toppled over with her heavy load. It didn't look like a too bad landing, so she was probably okay. And Connie was there, so he'd call for help if it was needed. She just hoped that Kaya wouldn't be too down now for embarrassing herself in front of Connie; Sasha could already see her face reddening.
"Good good; he's helping her up" Sasha smiled, relieved. She was sure that had it been her falling down, not that she would have since she was strong enough to lift the stacks, Connie would've been too busy laughing to give her a hand.
"They'll do fine" she decided "But I won't if I don't get back to work soon!"
Sasha did just that, not wanting Kaya or her father to deny her any food. Though even if they did, she'd snatch some anyway.
XXXXX
"Seriously? You weren't joking back then!?" Jonas asked Nikolo, who shifted uncomfortably. Due to a series of events, his partner and a few others had recently found out that he'd been one of the people imprisoned in Paradis and were now asking him about it directly.
"I never said I was, did I?" he asked with a sigh "You just chose not to believe me. What else should've I done than just to let it be?"
"Okay, point taken" Jonas said "Now tell us about the place!"
"If you want to" one of the others added as he elbowed Jonas, who glared.
"Oh c'mon, he's fine! If he was traumatized or something, he wouldn't be allowed to work yet, especially in the interment zone" Jonas said, and Nikolo knew he had a point. No way to wiggle out of this one, then.
"Just remember that there are things I'm not allowed to talk about" he said "But as long as anything you ask doesn't fall under that; I'll answer to what I know."
"Hopefully without getting in to any trouble"
Maybe he should've just pretended that talking about it all was really hard and traumatizing.
"Did you ever see him?" was Jonas' first question "The evilest of them all, Eren Yeager?"
"Several times" Nikolo admitted "The guy wasn't actually all that intimidating when in his human form."
"…And in his true form?" one of the guys asked hesitantly. Ignoring the implication behind the "true form" comment, Nikolo admitted: "I only saw it a few times, but honestly? Scary as hell."
It was true; while he wasn't afraid of Eldians in general, seeing a titan still scared him. Eren and Armin, who could turn in to titans, had also scared him until he left, but he'd gotten used to them eventually… well, to Armin at least. In his opinion, Eren was messed up from beginning to end. Not that it mattered anymore as the guy was now gone.
"Thought as much" Jonas said with a shudder "Honestly, even the warriors creep me out, so I don't think I could keep my shit together anywhere near the founder."
"But you never keep your shit together" their superior pointed out, and Nikolo laughed along with the others. Huffing, Jonas changed the subject: "Was it true when you said that commander of their troops tried to befriend you?"
This was the kind of question he had to be careful about, Nikolo knew.
"Yes, she did. She's a bit… weird one, even for someone from Paradis" he started carefully "I was the first one they captured, so I ended up gaining their attention more than some others because of that."
And because he was cooperative after a while. And because Sasha and traitorous Yelena vouched for him. But he better not mentions those.
"But nothing ventured, nothing gained. This is a chance to change their opinions on Eldians a little."
"But you know, despite her oddness, the commander was surprisingly reasonable and good-hearted person" Nikolo knew he had already stepped in to a dangerous territory; the faces his comrades made told him as much. Still, he chose not to back down "As were some others there. I don't deny that some of them were just as horrifying as we've been taught, but some others… well, not as much. They're individuals."
Okay, maybe that one went a bit too far. Those half disbelieving, half amused looks he got told him as much.
"…Maybe you're not as alright as I thought you were" Jonas said, and Nikolo couldn't help but think that the guy sounded like his mom.
"I'm fine" he insisted "You said it'd be cool to go there yourself, right? I dare you to go and come back to tell me I'm delusional."
"I don't think- "
"Challenge accepted!" Jonas interrupted the other guy, a smirk on his face "I want to see just what made you spout stuff like this."
Nikolo smirked back, but inwardly, he was worried. This conversation could get him in trouble, not to mention making that challenge was a gamble. If Jonas saw nothing that'd change his opinion, nothing that'd make him admit that Nikolo was right, he'd really come off as delusional.
"Calm down, you got this" the former POW told himself "The picture people have of Paradis' Eldians is so bad that any small thing will be a huge improvement."
Or so he hoped at least.
XXXXX
"Mom, can I ask you something?" Sasha asked as they washed the dishes side by side, no one else in the room.
"Of course, honey" Lisa replied, putting the plate down "What's bothering you?"
"Well, I…" she'd already started; there was no backing out now. Besides, she wanted to know! "Someone delivered me some old letters Nikolo had. Most were from me so I kept those, but the rest- which I didn't read I swear! I burned them!"
Lisa Blouse blinked, before smiling softly at her daughter.
"You've always been curious by nature" she said "Yet you managed to resist? It shows how you've grown."
"…I can't tell her how close I came to reading them" Sasha thought with a sweat drop. Clearing her throat, she continued: "There was one from you among them, and I kind of want to know why… please?"
Lisa laughed a little, making Sasha frown.
"I'm sorry honey, no offence meant" she said "I was worried about you back then, so I asked Mr. Nikolo to keep an eye on you and to take care of you."
"Huh?" Sasha was confused "If you wanted someone to take care of me, why not Jean or Connie? Or Mikasa? Or even Armin or Eren? They were all in a much better position to do so than Nikolo would've been!"
"They had their own worries" Lisa paused, thinking "Well, Mr. Nikolo did too of course, officially being a prisoner an all, but since he no longer fought as a soldier, he could take your mind elsewhere the way your friends couldn't. And your father and I trust him; we know he'd do his all to keep you safe and happy."
Sasha didn't completely understand how they could be so sure about it; they barely knew Nikolo. Suspicious, she asked: "Mom, did he ever send a reply?"
"Of course," Lisa answered, but before Sasha could ask her mother to show her, the woman said: "But letters are private, Sasha."
The soldier pouted.
"But it's yours, so it's fine for me to see it if you say so" she tried, but her mother shook her head.
"It's not just about my privacy" she said "But don't worry; I can tell you that Mr. Nikolo agreed to my plead without hesitation."
Sasha didn't doubt that; not after what she'd recently learned.
"Honey, is there something else on your mind?" Lisa asks, making the younger woman avoid her eyes "Sasha?"
"Mom" she decides to just admit it "I'm in love."
