This is a longer one and things are a little tense as Matt deals with someone from his past… enjoy!
What We Deserve
"Matt? Matt. Matthew Casey!" Sylvie shouted over the sound of her husband building something in the garage with his earphones in. She was beyond frustrated with this day. Jack and Elliot wouldn't stop fighting with one another and Matt was nowhere to be found to help her deal with it. He'd been a little distant over the past few days and Sylvie couldn't put her finger on why. Over the years she'd learnt to read him like a map, but he was giving nothing away over whatever what bothering him. She didn't want to pry and hoped he would come to her when she was ready to talk.
Then there was the fact that she was puking her guts out every 15 minutes. Her joy over the fact that she was pregnant soon subsided when memories of being pregnant with the twins came flooding back. Then the memories became her reality again. Morning sickness was no joke.
Matt finally took his earphones out and looked at Sylvie.
"Yeah?" he asked, a little more abruptly than Sylvie was willing to tolerate, but she clenched her jaw and let it slide.
"Could you please come inside and help me?" she asked.
"What's wrong?" he asked as he set his tools down and a little reluctantly followed her in. He really just wanted to be alone right now.
"What's wrong?" she asked as she turned and folded her arms and looked at him with a glare. "How many times have I told you today that the boys won't stop beating the crap out of each other and shouting at each other making it really very difficult for me to do anything at all?" she challenged. It had been at least three times, but clearly his mind was elsewhere.
Matt nodded regretfully. He knew he wasn't being fair, but he just needed time to process something. He was going to tell Sylvie, he really was – but he needed to know the outcome of what was going on before he told her.
"I got it." He said as he moved past her and into the house to find the boys doing exactly what Sylvie told him they were doing – smacking each other and shouting. "HEY!" he shouted over the top of them as the boys' heads shot round and they looked at him with wide eyes. The other shoe had finally dropped. "That is enough." He said firmly. "Jack, go get your shoes on."
Jack's eyes widened even further, "Are you taking me to jail?" he asked quietly.
"… what?" Matt questioned in complete confusion. "Why would you think I was taking you to jail?"
"Elliot said that's where the bad people go." Jack said as he gave Elliot one final shove before standing up and walking towards the living room door.
Matt let out a scoff, "You have to do something a little more serious than shove your brother to end up in jail bud." He said as Jack let out a breath and went to put his shoes on.
"Where are you going?" Elliot asked as he jumped up onto the sofa and Sylvie came into the room with her arms crossed and a face like thunder.
"We're just going for a walk, you both need to cool down. What's with all the fighting?" Matt asked as he flattened Elliot's crazy fighting hair.
"It's just brother stuff dad, don't worry about it." Elliot passed off.
Matt quirked an eyebrow, "Brothers talk things out, they don't punch it out Elliot, you know that."
"Jack doesn't listen to me dad, it's the only way to get through to him!" Elliot whined.
"And Elliot talks too much dad, it's the only way to get him to stop!" Jack reasoned back as he came back into the room. Matt tried to hold back his smirk. His boys were so similar yet so eerily different. Their two approaches to life were evident here. Jack was all action and Elliot was a thinker.
"Whatever your reasonings, it stops now – is that understood?" Matt said sternly as they both solemnly nodded their heads.
"We don't need to go out now dad, I get the picture." Jack told him.
"No, we're still going out, just so the message is clear." Matt told him as he nodded towards the door. "We'll be back soon" Matt said as he turned to Sylvie.
Sylvie nodded, "Take your time." She said bluntly.
Matt let out a sigh. He had a feeling that the boys fighting wasn't the only fight he would be dealing with today.
"Let's go bud" he said to Jack who went racing out the door ahead of his dad.
Soon enough, Matt and Jack had made it to a nearby park. Matt hadn't said much on the walk, instead he let Jack talk away about what he'd been doing at school and his favourite toys and of course – firefighting. His boys were obsessed which seemed fitting.
"Dad? Dad? Dad!" Jack called, snapping Matt out of a trance he was in.
"Sorry bud, what were you saying?"
"I was saying – that lady over there is waving at you." He said as he pointed down the path. Matt looked up and saw who he had come here to meet – Gabby Dawson.
Matt steadily walked towards her as Jack tagged along, wondering who this lady was that had got his dad so clammed up.
"Hey" Gabby greeted as she awkwardly rubbed her hands in front of him. It had been a long time. At least 7 years. Now she was here. She'd hadn't changed much over the 7 years. Her hair was a little longer, but apart from that – same old Gabby Dawson.
"Hi" Matt greeted quietly. He was reminded of Jack's presence as he felt his son wrap an arm around Matt's leg and look up at Gabby with real uncertainty in his eyes. "Uh… Jack, this is Gabby, she's an old friend." He explained as he rested his hand on Jack's back and rubbed it lightly. The normally sociable little boy was clearly very unsure right now about the stranger in front of him.
"Hi Jack" Gabby greeted with a smile and a little wave.
"Hi…" he replied quietly, remaining firmly attached to Matt's side.
"Uh, why don't you go play in the park buddy, I'll be over in a minute." Matt encouraged as Jack shook his head.
"It'll be no fun without Elliot." He pouted.
Matt laughed, "Well you should have thought about that before you decided to use each other as punching bags." He teased as Gabby stood in front of them, smiling at the whole interaction. "Go on, go play" he said as Jack nodded his head and ran into the park.
Matt watched Jack, making sure he got through the gate before turning back to Gabby who was smiling at him.
"I almost forgot how good with kids you are." Gabby responded as she shoved her hands in her pockets, reminiscing fondly about their time with Louie. "I uh – I didn't know you had a son."
Matt nodded his head, "Two actually."
"I'm guessing that's who Elliot is?" she asked, remembering the name Jack had mentioned.
"Yeah. Elliot." He confirmed as Gabby awkwardly rocked on her heels.
"Jack has her eyes." She said as Matt looked at her, waiting for her to elaborate. He knew she was talking about Sylvie, Jack had Sylvie's eyes and the rest was all him, but he was waiting for her to say it. He was waiting for her to actually acknowledge his wife. "I'm happy that you're happy with her Matt, it just kind of sucks to come here and find out about your life like this. Not even a phone call to say you had a family with my former best friend."
"Sylvie. Her name is Sylvie. Not 'her,' not 'former best friend." Matt made clear. He wasn't going to let Gabby talk about his wife like she was nobody. She was someone incredibly special to Gabby for a long time.
"Sylvie." Gabby repeated, seeing that it was getting him worked up. "I'm sorry, I'm not here to cause an argument."
"Then why are you here Gabby?" Matt challenged. "Why did you call saying you wanted to meet?"
Gabby gave him a lopsided smirk, "Why did you come?"
"Believe it or not, I still care about how you're doing Gabby." He told her kindly. It wouldn't be in his nature not to care.
"I know." She replied. She was digging for a response that wasn't going to be there. She could see clear as day that he cared but he didn't love. Not in the way that he used to. "All I'm saying is that a phone call wouldn't have gone a miss before you got down on one knee to someone else or became a father. Don't you think I deserve that?"
Matt didn't know what to say. His blood was starting to boil. After seven years Gabby had come back and started demanding explanations and apologies for moving on. He was sure there were plenty of things about her life that he didn't know about and he wasn't here demanding anything from her. He knew he didn't deserve anything, just like she didn't either. He wasn't that surprised though by her actions, it was Gabby Dawson through and through – bold with a touch of selfishness on the side.
"You left, Gabby. We aren't in each other's lives so no I don't think you deserve any explanations from me." He replied, rather politely. If it was the other way around, he imagined she might have blown up in his face.
"I just – I just never thought that we'd ever be able to replicate what we had." Gabby told him honestly. "I thought we were it for each other."
A smile rose to Matt's face. He wasn't able to replicate what he had with Gabby – he found something better. Sylvie Brett was it for him and no matter how mad she was at him right now he could never be so mad at her. The goodness in her made that impossible.
"Gabby I am so in love with my wife." He said with a little laugh of joy. "It's crazy how much I love her, and I don't know what you came here expecting me to say. Did you expect me to apologise for the life that I have and adore? Because I'm not going to do that. You made your choice to walk away and I found a love that was right for me and waiting for me to be ready to embrace it. To embrace her." He told her honestly as she gulped and looked at her feet. "I will always be so grateful for what we had. You made me a lot stronger and got me through some really difficult moments in my life… but that part of life is over and I'm not going to say sorry for realising that." he finished as Gabby clenched her jaw, not really knowing what to say. A part of her hadn't expected him to be this happy with life. Not after how they left things. She was clearly holding on to some things he had learnt to let go of a long time ago.
"Jack!" Matt called, as he waved his son back over.
"Dad" Jack said as he approached them. Gabby flinched a little at hearing Jack call Matt dad. Once upon a time she had been dreaming that it would be her kids calling Matt dad. "I'm tired" he said groggily as he reached his arms up and Matt scooped him up before looking at his watch.
"Yeah, we did cut this walk a little close to bedtime, huh?" Matt said as Jack wrapped his body around Matt like a koala and rested his head on the crook of Matt's neck. Matt looked up at Gabby who wasn't looking happy, but also had a softness in her eyes over Matt's interactions with Jack. It was clear to her how much they adored each other. How could she be mad about that?
"I uh – I'm sorry." She said quietly as she wiped away a stray tear that had fallen down her cheek. "I really am glad you're happy Matt and I didn't mean to come here and accuse you of anything. How could I find a problem with someone finding what they deserve?"
Matt nodded his head as a way of accepting her apology. He didn't want to leave this meeting mad, but he also didn't want to leave any words unsaid or any doors open.
"I hope you're happy too Gabby. That is all I have ever wanted for you and I am so proud of the work that you've been doing. Truly." Matt told her sincerely.
"Thanks Matt." She said with a tight-lipped smile. "I am happy… I'm also glad I got to meet your mini-me. The world could do with more Caseys." She said with a little laugh.
Matt chuckled, "This Casey certainly is a firecracker… and one of the best things that's ever happened to me." He said as he rested his cheek against Jack's head, thinking fondly of him, Elliot and the next edition to the brood that had yet to appear.
Gabby smiled, "I can see why. I'll uh – let you get him back home. Goodbye Matt." Gabby said as she gave him a small wave before turning and walking away from him.
Matt stood there for a brief moment and watched her. He thought he'd gotten closure years ago, but maybe that was the final moment he needed. To see that she was happy and for her to see how happy he was – because he'd truly never been happier in life and he was determined to go home and tell his wife exactly that.
A short while later, Matt returned home and quietly put Jack to bed before heading back downstairs to find Sylvie. He soon found her in one of her favourite positions – the sofa in the living room, with a bowl of popcorn resting on top of her little baby bump and a book in her hand. Matt leaned against the doorframe and just watched her. She was so radiant – always.
"Where have you been? It's way past Jack's bedtime." Sylvie said quietly, tearing Matt out of his trance.
"We got side-tracked, I'm sorry." He said quietly as walked into the room. He put his hands in his pockets and stood beside her, while Sylvie didn't tear her attention away from her book. "Are you still mad at me?" he boldly asked, figuring they should just get straight to the problem.
"Depends. Are you going to tell me what the hell has gotten into you the past few days?" she asked as she set her book and her popcorn down and looked up at him.
Matt looked at his feet, not sure how he could begin explaining this to Sylvie without her getting the wrong idea.
"Gabby called me a few days ago." He said as he could see Sylvie's mouth drop slightly.
"Is she – is she ok?" Sylvie asked, a little concerned.
Matt looked up at her in a moment of awe. Even though she was mad at him, she was still selfless enough to ask him if Gabby was ok.
"She's fine, she was just in Chicago and wanted to talk." He told her.
"… oh." Sylvie merely replied. "I'm guessing that's where you went with Jack then?" she asked as she began to put two and two together.
He nodded his head. "I should have told you and I'm sorry that I didn't, I just got in my head a little bit about it. I would never do anything—" he said, but stopped himself with a gulp. The way Sylvie was looking at him right now – she just looked so sad.
"I'm not mad at the thought of what could happen while she's here" Sylvie replied as she stood from the sofa. She could see all over Matt's face that he was worried she'd think something was going to happen between them. "I know how much you love me, I know that she's not going to change that." she made clear as Matt let out a breath and his heart skipped a beat. Knowing how secure she felt made him feel secure. "I'm mad because you felt like you had to keep it from me. That's not like us Matt, we have always talked things through, we don't hold back." Their entire relationship had been built on the fact that they were the best of friends. Nothing could change that.
"It's not that I didn't want to tell you, I just – I was mad too Sylvie. I was mad that she called like it was nothing and expected to just walk into my life like she hadn't been gone for the past 7 years." He told her honestly. "And then when I saw her… I was mad that she showed up saying it was unfair that I didn't tell her about my family."
"Why did that make you mad?" she asked, getting upset herself because he was getting upset about this whole thing. She always managed to feel everything that he was feeling.
"Because I don't owe her a damn thing." He replied without missing a beat. "Sylvie I love you so damn much. I love our life." he said with tears in his eyes. "And I shouldn't have to explain that away to anybody and I shouldn't have to apologise for it."
Sylvie walked forward and rested her hands on Matt's neck and rested her forehead against his.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you and I'm sorry that I got in my head." he apologised.
"I would be worried if you didn't get into your head a little bit" she said with a laugh. "Just – please talk to me next time. We're a team and I will always fight your battles and take on your frustrations so we can deal with them together."
"I love you" he said as he kissed down her cheek and her jaw before tightly hugging her.
"I love you too. So much." She replied softly, as they took a moment to just be in each other's arms and be thankful for the life they had built together.
So, I didn't want to make Gabby into a villain in this chapter because I do like her character – just not with Matt. I just think they're too different and Gabby was too independent for that relationship. But I also didn't want to make it seem like Matt still held some sort of flame for her and that she was this huge problem – so I hope I got that across ok!
Let me know what you think in the reviews!
