FYI - I'm focusing solely on this story until I finish it. I don't think it'll be much longer. Thank you for your patience! It will feel amazing to finally finish this story after so long. Can't believe so many of you have been with me since the beginning (and I'm ashamed it's taken me so long to write).


Chapter Nineteen

October 19, 2006

International Delegation to Visit Ministry of Magic to Discuss "Humanitarian Concerns"; Minister Umbridge Unconcerned

A large delegation of foreign diplomats is expected to arrive in the next week to discuss what many are referring to as "humanitarian concerns" with high-ranking officials within the British Ministry of Magic. Purportedly headed by the Bulgarian Minister for Magic Alexei Levski, the true purpose of their official visit remains unclear. When asked directly why so many foreign officials, including at least three other Ministers for Magic beyond Mr. Levski, were planning the formal visit, Minister Dolores Umbridge waived off any worries with a laugh.

"Alexei has clearly taken one too many bludgers to the head if he believes there is a legitimate reason to be concerned about anything happening inside our country, but I will be glad to meet with my old friend to put his fears to rest."

When asked a follow-up question about…


Only the throbbing pain in Antonin's bruised hand proved he wasn't trapped in the middle of a terrible nightmare. How could this be happening? Not once in the three and a half years he'd been trapped on the island had there been such an upheaval. What was going to happen next?

Weeks had gone by since he last saw Penelope moving between cottages on her rounds, but he didn't think much of it. Maybe she wasn't working on the island any longer or perhaps even more likely she was avoiding him. He couldn't blame her. She might have even assumed he'd asked for another Healer to be assigned to his cottage. How could she have known the Minister was just using her for one of her cruel games? Never would he have guessed she would end up on the island as one of the participants of the program she was forced to work with. Not even in his worst nightmares.

But he couldn't ignore the familiar silver rings on her wrists nor could he look past the standard issue Azkaban threadbare nightgown given to all of the female prisoners. How did she end up in such a wretched place? He worried about her safety when she mentioned she was working with some sort of resistance on the mainland opposed to the program. She put herself in unnecessary danger and for what? To try to free the likes of him from a punishment he probably deserved?

He couldn't shake the fear that Penelope was there because of him. Hadn't Umbridge already proven how sick and twisted she could be to those who didn't do what she wanted? Bringing Charlie Weasley back to live in the room next to Hermione made a depraved sort of sense. Umbridge would never forgive Hermione for the sins of her past and considering the unhinged woman claimed she had spies everywhere, tormenting Hermione wasn't a shock. But Penelope? Why?

In all of the months since he had his relatively private meeting with the Minister, he never promised Umbridge he would help her make Hermione's life even more of a living nightmare than it was already. It was a decision he struggled to make. Even after several letters from the Minister following the visit demanding that he hurry up and make his choice, he'd struggled. It was hard to admit even just to himself that he was torn between his overwhelming desire to get off of the island and his strange need to keep Hermione safe. He might not have been in love with the witch but even a monster like him couldn't not come to care about the mother of his three children. Four, if he counted the one they lost and he usually did.

Not once did he allow himself to believe that Penelope was in as much danger as she was from his inaction. He'd never been a stranger to denial. Was this part of his punishment for not assisting Umbridge in her depravity? He wasn't sure he could ever forgive himself for the pain Penelope had already experienced and the pain he knew was sure to come.

Once the initial few seconds of shock wore off, Hermione rushed across the room into Charlie's waiting arms. Her sobs were muffled by his chest. The wizard didn't hesitate to hold her tightly against him. Antonin pushed away the desire to pull Penelope into his own embrace. It wasn't right. He had no claim over her. They'd only shared hesitant touches on the hand before she was arrested. And considering the uncomfortable truth that he was likely a factor in her being in prison to begin with, he especially didn't feel right about trying to comfort the woman.

"I can't believe you're back. I thought I'd never see you again."

Part of Antonin felt guilty about being there during a private moment between Hermione and the wizard he knew she loved, but he wasn't about to leave the room until he had some answers. Penelope must have felt similar even if she continued to stare at the floor instead of the others in the room. Charlie gently pushed Hermione away from his chest so their eyes could meet as they spoke.

"I never thought I'd see you again either, Hermione. Not after…"

Charlie cleared his throat. It was evident to even someone who didn't know him well that he didn't want to have the conversation he knew was coming. Hermione couldn't help herself. When her curiosity got the better of her, she was rarely able to stem the force of her questions. It was a personality trait that might've been endearing in a different world. Knowing she wouldn't stop asking until she was satisfied, the story of the last several months came rambling out of Charlie's mouth.

"The aurors took us all back to Azkaban that day. Katie and I were put in cells next to each other. Neither of us knew what was going to happen next. We thought they would be taken to St. Mungo's but no. The cruel bastards just locked them up in their own cells."

He couldn't even say the names of his older brother and the woman he'd been forced to mate with. What other sorts of cruel torture was he subjected to?

"What happened to Bill and Fleur? Are they all right now?"

"Dead. Both of them. Didn't even make it through that first night. The Healers on the island gave them pain potions inside our cottage, but once they wore off, they didn't get anything else. The pain drove them both mad. Can you even imagine how bad it must've been? He bashed his head against the stone wall until he was too damaged to stay conscious. She strangled herself with her blanket. I never realized they were thick enough to kill yourself with. Maybe I should've tried doing it myself."

There was very little emotion in the wizard's voice as he described what must've been a traumatic first night back at Azkaban. As much as he didn't like Weasley, Antonin could feel nothing but sadness and disgust.

"That's a horrible thing to say, Charlie."

Some of the fire Weasley was known for returned to his eyes when he stared back at Hermione.

"Don't you dare judge me. Not when I was the one who pulled you out of the ocean that day."

Hermione's attempt to drown herself, as half-hearted as it truly was, wasn't a topic any of them liked to discuss. Antonin hadn't thought about it in a long time because it always upset him when he imagined what would've happened if Weasley wasn't there. Selfishly he was angry because without her alive, he would've lost his only chance at potential freedom. Though now that he understood there was no hope of living a life as a free man again, he almost wished she'd done it. It would've saved them both from a lot of unnecessary pain and grief.

"Well, I'm glad you didn't kill yourself, Charlie Weasley. I've been so worried about you. Azkaban must've been…"

"Hell. Just as it always was. I thought I would be in there forever. I thought years had gone by, not just months. When they told me the date this morning, I couldn't believe it."

"Did you see Ginny when you were there?"

The wizard shook his head. Some of the emotion he was trying to suppress threatened to break free. Antonin recognized a ticking time bomb when he saw one. Soon he wouldn't be able to contain it any longer. It wouldn't be pretty.

"No one knows what happened to her. She's probably dead too. She's better off if she is."

Even though Antonin had never really known the wizard well, he could tell that Azkaban altered him a second time. It was possible that the longer Charlie was away from the prison he would begin to revert back to who he once was, but that wasn't always the case. He knew better than most that one had to harden themselves to survive in that dreadful place. The person who went in was almost never the person who came out. Antonin certainly wasn't.

"I was in my cell and ripped out of just a few minutes before we were given a portkey. Told I had a new partner and a new chance to start the program over. I couldn't refuse. Not sure I would've anyway. I was losing my fucking mind in that cell."

At the mention of having a new partner, Hermione looked away from Charlie for the first time since he'd popped back into their lives. She'd been so focused on seeing Charlie, she hadn't even seemed to notice Penelope was standing just a few steps away. With wide eyes, she gasped.

"Penelope? Why are you here?"

The pretty Healer finally looked up from the floor when she heard her name mentioned. Her eyes met Antonin's. She could only look at him for a moment before she ran into the bathroom. Sobs could be heard form within. Antonin's stomach clenched at the sound.

"Antonin, go to her. Please."

He didn't allow logic to stand in the way of his decision when Hermione all but begged him to go. The door was unlocked. Once he slipped inside he closed it carefully behind him. While he didn't have the first clue what he was going to do or say, the thought of leaving her alone in her grief was one he didn't cherish.

Penelope sat on the edge of the bathtub with her elbows on her knees and her face cradled in her hands. She didn't look up when he entered. It wasn't necessary. She knew it was him. The walls of the cottage were painfully thin. Antonin lowered himself down on the closed lid of the toilet only centimeters away. He didn't press her to speak, to explain how she ended up where she did, to say anything. They had all of the time in the world.

"I failed you, Antonin. I'm so, so sorry."

Her words were hardly a whisper but he heard it all. The urge to pull her into his arms to offer her what little comfort he could was strong. In another life maybe he could've earned the right to hold her safely against his chest. Unfortunately, they didn't live that life. She wasn't his to comfort. Instead, he removed a clean towel from the rack on the wall. His intention was just to press it into her hands, not gently brush the tears away himself. The temptation, however, was too great.

Tears rolled out of Penelope's eyes at a furious pace. The more he brushed away, the more returned in their place. At least her sobs were silent. Soon she would reach the point where she could not physically cry another drop. Considering she was still so upset and hadn't yet seemed to be able to suppress or master her emotions, Antonin had to assume she hadn't been in Azkaban long. It was a small comfort. He hated to think of her shivering in that dark, wretched place all alone. She deserved more than that. Finally his own curiosity, much like Hermione's, got the better of him.

"How long were you in Azkaban?"

The simple mention of the notorious prison brought on even more tears he was able to wipe away. Before she answered his question, she took the towel from his hand and tried her best to compose herself. He had to bite back a smile at her determination.

"Only a few weeks, but it felt much longer. Like Charlie said, I didn't realize so little time had passed."

"What did you mean when you said you failed me? I don't understand. How is that even possible?"

She took another minute to clean off her face and take a few deep breaths. Just as she was about to speak, her voice broke with emotion yet again. Antonin waited for her to calm, hoping his presence wasn't making it worse.

"I was supposed to adopt your child. Because of my mistake, I don't know what happened to him. He could be with anyone."

Antonin had to admit that he'd been relieved to know his baby would be given to a woman he trusted and even cared about. One of the more maddening aspects of the program was the constant worry and fear that their children weren't with good people who loved them. Little Henry was a perfect example. No one would ever be able to convince his father that that sweet boy was loved and cared for as he should be. And at least they had the benefit of knowing he wouldn't be too harmed with his adoptive mother pushing him in the spotlight as proof of the success of her depraved program. What about the others on the island who lived in ignorance of where their children ended up? Just one more of Umbridge's injustices.

"You shouldn't blame yourself for that."

"But if I hadn't been arrested…"

"My child still wouldn't have been given to you. Umbridge knew you were trying and she knew that would've made Hermione and me happy. She doesn't want either of us happy. She would've put a stop to it even if you weren't arrested."

Penelope's wide eyes met his. He almost smiled at her incredulousness, but knew that was far from the right time. She might be offended or think he was mocking her in some way. Her shoulders appeared less tense as what he imagined to be relief washed over her. Had she been worried since she was arrested that he would be angry with her for not being available to adopt his baby? Poor girl. As if his opinion about anything really even mattered.

"The day Weasley was taken back to Azkaban I could've made my life a lot easier by making someone else's miserable. When it was clear I wasn't going to accept, Umbridge wouldn't have let you go through with the adoption. If there's anyone to blame, it's me. Maybe if I'd agreed you'd be safely back home with a newborn to care for."

Even if it was the truth, Antonin couldn't allow himself to feel any guilt about his decision. As tempting as it might have been to earn his freedom and even find a way off of the island to be with the witch who haunted his dreams, he wasn't so much of a monster that he could subject Hermione to the Minister's revenge. The woman was unhinged, especially where Hermione was concerned. She likely wouldn't have stopped in her torment until Hermione was dead. Antonin knew he couldn't have her murder on his conscience. Not after all they'd been through together.

"Please don't ever blame yourself for my child being given to someone else."

The slight nod of her head was the only answer he would likely ever get to his statement. He knew it was a futile request. Likely she would continue to try to take personal responsibility for something she couldn't prevent. Deciding a change of subject was in order, he asked the question he'd wanted to know the answer to since he saw her again.

"Why were you arrested? You promised me you were being careful."

Her heavy sigh threatened to break his resolve against holding her in his arms. Antonin clenched his hands into fists to try to push away the urge.

"I was told… everyone who has to come to the island has been told over and over again that we're not allowed to talk to anyone about the program. We can't talk about the conditions of the island or even the terms of the breeding program. Most people don't even realize you've been promised your freedom at all."

Antonin couldn't keep from scoffing. No doubt the public would be horrified to learn there was a chance, no matter how small, that some of the Dark Lord's old Death Eaters might one day walk free amongst them again. Of course he understood all too well even without the Minister's confirmation that they would never allow any of them to leave custody, but even the rumor of the possibility might be enough to create enough public resistance to the program to get it shut down for good.

"I couldn't stay silent about what I'd seen."

"The Minister didn't force you and the other healers to take some sort of unbreakable vow or wizard's oath to keep silent?"

Penelope rolled her eyes in such a dramatic fashion he almost laughed again. Seeing a bit of her youth sneak through her usual measured persona was an unexpected delight. There was much about the woman he didn't know.

"Umbridge is so arrogant in her convictions that what she is doing is morally right and good for the sake of humanity that she doesn't even see the need for oaths. Of course, that's likely changed over the last several weeks thanks to me. She thinks everyone involved with the program thinks exactly like she does. They don't. Not a single one of them has a brain warped enough."

Antonin trusted her judgment to a point, but he wasn't sure he could agree. There seemed to be several aurors and healers assigned to the island that were as cruel and unfeeling as their leader. It was the wrong time to try to argue. He wanted to know more.

"I was careless. I got caught passing information."

"In the act?"

"No, thankfully. That could've been so much worse. My husband Marcus had a contact with a group of foreign wizards who wanted to know what was really going on. He asked if I would tell them what I'd seen. Of course I agreed. Everyone needs to understand. I was shocked to come home one evening to find Viktor Krum in my kitchen. Do you know who he is?"

Unable to hold back a smile that time, he didn't even try. He nodded.

"I read the Quidditch section in the newspaper like every other self-respecting wizard."

Her smile in return helped to break some of the heavy tension in the room.

"Viktor was there at his Minister's request. They were former teammates for the Bulgarian National Team, but that was many years ago when you…"

"When I was locked up in Azkaban the first time. It's all right."

She seemed flustered. He thought it was adorable. Thinking about his years under the hospitality of the dementors was never easy. He was surprised to find it didn't bother him as much as it once did.

"Minister Levski knew that Viktor had a personal relationship with one of the program's… did you know about Hermione's past with Viktor?"

He nodded. It was a conversation that came up when he heard Thorfinn teasing her about reading the Quidditch page. At least he finally understood how it was possible that she wasn't exactly a 'quivering virgin' when they arrived on the island. Of course he never asked her for specifics. That was out of line. They each had their own pasts that was none of the business of their partner.

"Bulgaria has cut off all diplomatic ties with Great Britain. Several other countries have done the same: Poland, Norway, Mexico, Iceland, China. Many others are threatening. There have been sanctions. The Daily Prophet is trying to keep that silent though. I noticed even before I was arrested that some of the shops in Diagon Alley had barer shelves than normal."

"And this is all because of this program?"

"Yes. They believe that if the government is willing to commit these crimes, what else will they do next? Umbridge is universally loathed. If they can ever arrest her, she's going to be tried for crimes against humanity."

To a normal human being that might have been some comfort, but to Antonin, he didn't believe the horrible woman deserved a trial. Someone might get soft-hearted. There was only one verdict she earned. He dreamed that one day he might even be able to give it to her. It was a fantasy he held little hope of ever coming true. In the moments he found himself so angry he feared he would explode, he clung to the flight of fancy.

"Okay, but how did you end up in Azkaban?"

"After I met with Viktor, everything happened so fast. Once he reported back to his Minister, he told all of his allies. None of them wanted to keep what they learned silent. They started writing their own news articles that the Daily Prophet would never dare to reprint, but it doesn't take much effort for someone high up to get one of their newspapers. It didn't take long for it to become clear they had a spy on the island. There's more than just me, a lot more, but for whatever reason, they arrested me."

Antonin knew it was because of him, but he didn't want to say anything. She didn't need to know all of the details. His decision as to whether or not he would help Umbridge was made for him when he took so long. He knew he was being punished for refusing by Penelope being arrested and put into the program too. It wasn't a surprise she was put in the next room and paired with Charlie once he considered the facts. Umbridge was going to torture them both. The desire to kill her only grew more intense.

"But I am sorry, Antonin, that I wasn't able to care for your son."

"Are you sure it was a boy?"

"Yes, very. It was on the application. We always cast the biological sex-detection spell as early as possible. We were ready for him. Had his room ready. Marcus even built a cot."

A smile crossed her lips at the memory that was immediately replaced with concern. Her eyes wide, she rose quickly from the side of the tub.

"Is Marcus here? We were arrested at the same time. Maybe he's here."

"If he is, we will find out. Now, why don't you take a hot shower and put on some clean clothes first? You'll feel much better."

She might have been about to argue, but the promise of hot water wasn't easily rejected by an inmate. No doubt it had been weeks since she last had the pleasure of being fully clean. Antonin promised her again that they would find her husband if he was there before stepping outside to give her privacy.

"Is she all right?"

Antonin shrugged his shoulders at Weasley's question.

"She's as all right as can be expected, I suppose."

Needing to get outside in the fresh air to clear his head, he made his excuses to rush out of the cottage. Despite the weather turning cooler, there were a number of people outside. Perhaps the order of other cottages was upset as theirs had been. He recalled Penelope's insistence about finding her husband. A disturbing thought came to him that he hoped was wrong.

Oliver Wood's cottage wasn't far from his. Only a few doors down. Ignoring all of the commotion and the questions he thought were being directed at him, he didn't stop until he was at the front door. He didn't know Oliver that well, but thought he was an all right sort of chap. Kept to himself mostly. Antonin could appreciate that. When he opened the door at the sound of Antonin's knock, his eyes were red and it was clear he wasn't happy.

"Don't mean to disturb, Oliver, but is Marcus Flint in there?"

The younger wizard merely stepped aside to allow Antonin entrance into the cottage. Just a few steps in Antonin could see Oliver's partner Susan Bones seated next to Katie Bell on the sofa gently stroking Katie's hair and whispering soothing words. Marcus sat in an armchair with a strange, blank expression on his face. When he caught sight of Antonin, his entire demeanor changed to one of panic as he jumped to his feet.

"Is Penelope here? Is she all right?"

"Yes, she's here. She's okay."

Marcus' shoulders sagged with instant relief, but he grew angry in only a few heartbeats. Oliver crossed the room to put his arm around the shoulder of his lover. Their whispers only made him feel even more out of place. Antonin made his escape from the cottage after telling Marcus which cottage was his and where he could find his wife.

The need to assuage Penelope's concerns was strong. If he could do nothing else for the woman, he wanted to offer her some solace knowing that her husband and best friend was in one piece. They would have to deal with the horrific nature of the program on their own terms. Certainly the original inmates of the program didn't have much to offer them in terms of reassurance. It was every bit as terrible as they imagined it was. He wanted to get back to the cottage to give Penelope what little peace of mind he could.

Outside the front door of the cottage he exited, he witnessed Charlie Weasley be pulled into a fierce hug by his father. All of the other Weasleys left on the island surrounded their returned family member. Antonin didn't envy a single one of them, especially not Charlie. He would have to be the bearer of even more bad news.

Hermione saw Antonin moving back towards their cottage and chose to fall in step next to him. No doubt she felt like an intruder on what was clearly a family affair. He didn't deny her the short walk. While they moved, he shared what he'd just learned.

"Penelope's husband Marcus was paired with Katie Bell. They're living in the room next to Oliver and Susan."

"Of course he is. Just another sick game they're playing with people's lives. It's cruel."

"Yes, it is."

As they approached the door of their own cottage, Hermione stopped. Realizing she wanted to speak to him before they went back inside, Antonin didn't move. If she rambled on incessantly he reserved the right to ignore her to go to Penelope, but he was sure he could spare a few minutes.

"Charlie said that Azkaban is full of critics of Umbridge's and those who have been trying to resist."

He tried to ignore the tiny flicker of hope inside him at the discovery that there were more people who cared about them than he realized. Penelope's story about foreign governments getting involved only served to keep that hope alive. He wished he could tamp it down. Hope would drive him mad.

"Why would the Ministry be so cruel to put Charlie and Penelope together in our cottage?"

It was time that she knew the full truth. There was no reason to keep it from her any longer. He had nothing to lose. With a deep sigh, Antonin told her about the deal Umbridge tried to get him to make. He described the private meeting they had in their living room the day Charlie was taken off the island. No single detail was spared. She listened patiently, never once interrupting. When he was done, her cheeks were flushed bright red with anger.

"That bitch. That… cunt. Ugh, there's not a horrible enough word to call her!"

He wanted to laugh. To keep her from kicking him in the bollocks with all her might, he cleared his throat. A promise he'd kept to himself for years was finally said out loud.

"I'm going to kill Umbridge the first chance I get."

"And I'm going to help you."

Antonin didn't bother to hide his smile that time. Such determination in a woman so young. He admired her spirit. If there was anyone else in the world he would be willing to share the glory of that moment with, it would be Hermione. The day they killed Umbridge was going to be a good day.