Kylo Ren POV
I went into my meditation chamber to think and try to calm my mind. So many thoughts were swirling around me, Solo, Tobias, Skywalker, the girl. I must capture all of them, of course, but did I have to kill them? Could I turn them? Should I turn them?
I sat cross-legged in front of the helmet of my grandfather, and removed my helmet, placing it reverently on the floor. I took some deep breaths, and gave myself to the force. Please come to me, I begged. I need guidance.
For a minute nothing happened. Angerly, I tried again. "Grandfather," I said aloud, "I need guidance. Please help me."
"I'm right here, Ben," came a voice behind me.
I turned to see him, expecting the fearsome face I saw last time. But to my surprise, he looked different. He was standing beside my bed in brown Jedi robes, with a cream undershirt, and brown boots. This time he had long curly brown hair, his eyes were a dark brown, not yellow, and he seemed to be smirking at me.
"Oh my god," I thought, "he is here as a Jedi!"
With that thought, I leapt to my feet, and ignited my lightsaber. I stood at the ready position, prepared for him to attack.
He rolled his eyes, looking a lot like my mother, and shook his head. Then my lightsaber was gravitating out of my hands and into his outstretched arm, deactivated.
"I'll hold onto this, until I feel you are ready for it," he said. "You may hurt yourself."
"Hey, give that back," I whined.
He frowned and raised his eyebrow. "Whining will get you nowhere, young one," he warned.
I tried to use the force to grab it, but he pulled it back from me. The blade sat suspended in mid-air in the middle of the bed.
"Ben, you are going to break it," warned my grandfather.
I relented, and the lightsaber flew back into his grasp. Once he had it in his possession, he clipped it onto his belt, and he looked at me, as if questioning if I was going to fight him. I waved my hand and slumped down into my desk chair, signaling my defeat.
"So," he said, and leaned up against the wall opposite of me, "you need guidance, and your best idea was to come to me."
"Yes," I said.
He shook his head, laughing to himself. "You are really lost. Aren't you?"
"I am not lost!" I yelled. "I know exactly what I am doing!"
"Really? Then why do I keep appearing to you in one form than another? I feed off your emotions, Ben. I appear to you as a Jedi or Sith based on how you are feeling. I am not seducing you, you are seducing yourself. I am guiding you down whatever path you are taking. Right now I am getting a strong Jedi overtone from you, so here I am," he said, spreading his arms.
I was speechless as I processed this information. I was in a Jedi mode? How? Why? I did not want to be a Jedi. My anger for Uncle Luke burned like Mustafar because of his attempt on my life. I was glad I was in the Dark Side studying under my grandfather. Wasn't I?
"So what do you need?" he asked.
I was silent, unsure how he would respond to my request. He is my master, but now he has come to me like this, not like he came to me like last time. The other Anakin would help me fuel my power no problem, but this man, he might be a Jedi.
"Ben, I was a Jedi for thirteen years, a Sith for fifteen years, and then dead for the last thirty years. Come on you can tell me anything."
"I need power," I whispered.
He studied me for a minute, and assessed me. I looked him in the eyes as he judged my needs and my qualities of the things in the Force. What would I do if he judged me unworthy of my request? I tried to straighten myself, and hold my head erect so I could pass this unforeseen inspection.
"Yes, I agree," he finally said, and I let out a breath I did not know that I was holding. "You need to grow in the Force, but this growth will be painful. I am not sure if you have the mental stamina to do it," he said.
"I do," I said. "I'll do whatever it takes."
"Really?" he said, challenging me.
"Yes, Master."
"You will face many trials in this situation, and at each turn you must see that you will sacrifice your personal values for power and the dark side. The reward will be yours forever, if you succeed."
"I am ready," I said.
"When I turned to Lord Vader, my Master put my strength to the test. Not the strength of my power, but the strength of my character, my resolve to the Dark Side. My assignment, the first night was to ransack the Jedi Temple and kill everyone I found. I found friends, younglings, brethren, old masters, but with each kill my anger toward the Jedi grew and it spurred me on."
"I have already ransacked Luke Skywalker's school," I protested.
"That was a childhood tantrum," he said with a wave of his hand. "This would be an act of raw Sith power. I do not know if you can do it. The task to prove yourself may be too difficult. It could break you."
"I will not fail."
"As you know, the map to Skywalker is traveling with a girl, a defective clone, your brother, and your father."
"Yes."
"Snoke thinks your goal is to get the map back, which is a fine long term goal. But you need a short term goal, one that will test you, and if you succeed, draw you close to the Dark Side. I want you to kill one of them."
"The defective clone," I said.
"No, I want you to kill Han Solo," he commanded.
