Chapter 20

What the hell am I even doing here?

Hisagi couldn't help but vent to himself as he paced around the empty infirmary room a few doors down from Mara. He took of his white haori and threw it across a far chair as he paced the room. How had he let Grimmjow talk him into this utter ridiculousness, he wasn't sure. He threw himself heavily onto the futon in the room as the events of the morning ran through his troubled mind for the thousandth time.

It had all begun so normal. Well, abnormal but in a normal way. An emergency captains meeting had been called about the events in Byakuya's garden the day before which of course annoyed Byakuya to no end. Kenpachi wanted to know if it was something to fight. Mayuri wanted to know if he could inspect it. Toshiro let them know the girl wasn't an it and was spoken for… and that's where it all began to break down. As soon as Mara was brought up as a person, all eyes had turned to him. All eyes except Matsumoto's, that was. She did nothing but stare at her feet from the wall she was perched against, hair hiding her face. Was she concealing her knowledge or was she upset?

No sooner had he begun to sweat under their inscrutable looks did he questions begin. Some were benign, like how was the girl doing. Others were more pointed about his feelings and what this meant for his future. Then Byakuya had sealed the deal on uncomfortable by asking when he needed to arrange his ward's betrothal.

Betrothal.

Hisagi could feel the tic in his temple returning at just the thought. She had been here less than 24 hours and hadn't even woken up and they wanted to arrange a marriage.

.

"You look distressed, Captain Hisagi," Byakuya remarked blandly. His face showed disinterest but his eyes showed a determined intent, a keen observance to any slips in the armor around the newest captain. "You stated love- a love at first sight, no less. I would assume you would want this."

Hisagi had been caught off guard by the question, but it's root only fueled the reason behind the lie. She had basically just come in the wrong door and was already being used as a pawn in power plays even though she had no power to play with. "It is not all about what I want. Mara hasn't even woken up yet and already you try to make plans for her with out her feelings or consent," he answered back, eyes narrowed and lips tensed into a firm line.

"Mara, is it? Quite familiar already, it would seem," Captain Kyoraku said, more teasing than anything, but the remark streaked through the gathering.

"Indeed," Mayuri seemed to hiss out, "And how did you become so familiar when she is supposedly still asleep?"

Hisagi suppressed the expression of disdain that almost flickered across his features at the monster in captains clothing. "It was on a tattoo on her arm that looked like a medical alert," he replied shortly.

"So, you are in the habit of searching passed out women?" Captain Soi-Fon sneered.

"What?! No!" Hisagi Garbled out, shocked at the accusation, "Captain Unohana and the 4th took care of placing and readying her for care!"

"Tch. Handy that she cannot verify that," Soi-Fon said with an eyeroll, "Where is she anyway?"

"That is none of your concern," Byakuya stated coldly.

"It's not like it's some secret, Captain Kuchiki," said Captain Ukitake in a placating voice, "Acting as such just creates more division." He continued, turning to Soi-Fon, "She is with Abarai Renji who has placed in a deep state of healing inside her Minazuki."

The news staggered Hisagi. Renji was back!? When?

"It seems he came in asking after the girl, whom you have rightly assumed is named Mara," Toshiro said calmly, "Which makes your declaration of love all-the-more worrisome. We can't have dissention among the ranks."

"Hmm, what if he already knows your Mara-chan?" Kyoraku said, lifting his hat slightly to raise an eye brow at Hisagi.

"Are we all forgetting," said Captain Komamura in a growl, "That the girl's entry into our world was highly unorthodox to the point that she is practically a Ryoka?"

"She is NOT a ryoka-" Hisagi started in vehemently before being cut off by Byakuya.

"Does that mean you are willing to do whatever it takes for her to be accepted here, Captain Hisagi?" he asked pointedly.

"Shouldn't you be willing to as well?" he asked Byakuya with vehemence, "You are the one who declared her as your ward!"

"Considering his main witness is in an unbreakable healing zanpakuto," said Kenpachi with a vicious smile, "that leaves the girl for us to wrangle it out of."

"Or to… question," Mayuri said rubbing his bony white fingers together in hopeful anticipation.

Seeing Hisagi's face locked in an expression of horror, Ukitake jumped in, "Regardless of the senkaimon she come in through, she came in as a Whole and so should not be battled or picked apart at all. She should be protected, like all the souls here-"

"But it was still an invasion of a sort," stated Toshiro, "we need to look into her-"

"NONE of you will touch her!" Hisagi finally yelled, fists clenched at his sides, "Are you all still stuck so far in the old ways that you can't even think of just waiting on her to answer? Or just asking?"

"It was my understanding," said Kyoraku, "that she was not… all there to question."

"If it is something nefarious, we can't afford to wait," replied Komamura.

Kenpachi loosed his sword in it's sheath, stepping toe to toe with Hisagi to tower over him. "Are you gonna stop us?" he asked dangerously.

"The law would only be on his side if he were officially lined up to protect her through something like a betrothal," Byakuya stated boredly.

Hisagi saw the bait he was dangling, but he set his face in stone, ignoring the looming Kenpachi to turn to Byakuya. "You think this is some sort of test-"

His sentence was cut off and silence took over the room as Genryusai-sama banged his can on the floor. "Enough!" he roared.

"This must still be investigated," the old man said sternly, "but as a Whole, Ryoka or not, she should be protected by her guardian. At this point, that is Kuchiki Byakuya as she is his ward, the decision of whom she will be questioned by, Mayuri or Kenpachi or otherwise, will be up to him."

All it took was split second. Mayuri stepped toward Byakuya, hands out in a placating form. Byakuya's eyes flicked to Hisagi before turning toward the Head of Science and Research. Hisagi remembered Grimmjow's broken form as he had pulled him from the pits under 12. The stench of death. If he could bring an espada so low, what would he do to the girl.

"No." Hisagi said lowly.

Genryusai-sama turned slowly, eyes narrowed at Hisagi who now stood directly in front of the dais.

"No," he said stoically, "that right would go to her betrothed, not her ward keeper. Correct?"

"Yes, it would," he replied evenly, levelling a hard stare at the seething Hisagi.

"Then in that case," he said, looking hard at Byakuya, "Draw it up and make the announcement. I am to marry the girl."

Movement at the back of the room caught Hisagi's eye and he saw a trace of auburn hair disappearing out the door. Hisagi didn't have time to wonder what had happened to Matsumoto before the door was flung open wide by his vibrant Combat Instructor.

"Captain Hisagi!" Genryusai-sama roared, "Rein in your pet Espada! And keep that girl with you at all times. She is yours to protect now that you are betrothed."

Hisagi flash stepped away from the shocked eyes of his peers, yanking Grimmjow with him. The espada's eyes were wide as saucers as he processed the rushed words before his maniacal laugh rang out loudly to echo in the large chamber and follow Hisagi out the doors.

"Holy shit, Cap! You're fucking having to get married to the chick?!" Grimmjow belted out another scoffing laugh, "How the fuck did that-"

"One more word, and I swear I will enjoy my time using Kazeshini to reap you," Hisagi growled, still pulling the espada away from near the captains meeting.

"Don't tempt me, Cap," Grimmjow said lowly, his eyes lighting up.

"I don't have fucking time for your games, Grimmjow!" Hisagi said, losing his temper. That was happening far to often now, he noticed. He took a deep breath, calming his voice. "Why the hell did you burst into that meeting?"

"She's awake, thought you'd wanna know," Grimmjow said with a grin.

Hisagi rolled his eyes, beginning to walk away from the espada. He wasn't in the mood to humor him. "That is what Kira was there for," he said over his shoulder, "to tell me when she woke up. He sent word through a messenger, 5 minutes ago, like you are supposed to with a captain's meeting."

"But he didn't tell you everything…" Grimmjow drawled, speeding his steps to walk up alongside Hisagi. "Like how something is holding her power back. I felt it today."

"What did you do?" Hisagi asked, pausing his steps.

"Nothing!" Grimmjow exclaimed innocently, "But she zoned out and for just a split second, it was there. I could feel it. And holy shit, if they choose to get it out of her like they did me we are fucked."

"That won't happen," Hisagi said surely.

"And how do you know that, Cap? You're the newest one there, they can-"

"They can't break the law. I'm betrothed to her, she is now under my protection. They can't break something sacred like that," Hisagi explained. "Besides, they can ask Abarai now too for their investigation, once he wakes up."

"Wait," Grimmjow asked, his next point to bring up dying on his tongue, "Your boy is back?"

Hisagi slanted suspicious eyes over to Grimmjow at his sudden calm, "Yes. Why?"

Grimmjow shook his head nonchalantly, flashing the tips of his extended canines in a smile that didn't reach his eyes, "Nah. You just know how I feel about that Hueco Mundo crew. Anyways, now that Mara is awake and gets to find out she is engaged to you, we need a game-plan. You can't just go in announce 'Sup! I'm your husband, now make me a sandwich.' "

"Who in their right mind would say that in any circumstance?" Hisagi asked with disgust as Grimmjow leered at him. "Nevermind. I hesitate to ask after that statement, but what do you propose I do?"

"I'm afraid, Cap," Grimmjow looked at him dramatically, "that you are going to have to woo her."

.

So now here he got to sit, attempting to woo someone he didn't love to make her love him so that she wouldn't freak out when she found out that she was engaged to him.

How did this get so messed up so quickly? This. This is why you should never lie.

Hisagi picked up his old guitar in disgust, listlessly plucking the strings. Grimmjow thought that music would be something she would find 'hot'. Hisagi didn't even care about that right now. Music relaxed him. It helped him to drown out the constant replays of his life in his mind, and god did he need that right now.

His long fingers wrapped around the neck of the guitar as he began to work through chords and the notes began to squeak out. Hisagi focused on relaxing his tense grip. Slowly but surely the notes began to flow out correctly as Hisagi went over what Sado had taught him many years ago, flowing from tune to tune. He began working through the 'classics' as Sado had told him they were called, his breathing evening out with every strum across the string. He was so into the music that he almost missed the soft sound of a shuffle at the door.

He cast his eyes up angrily at being disturbed, causing Mara to duck slightly behind the door frame, clutching her robe even more tightly around her. He immediately softened his expression as he regarded the girl, fingers stilling on the strings. She still looked so scared and nervous, but her dark eyes were clear. Her blue hair fell in soft waves around her pale face, only serving to highlight the tremble in her lips and her hunched position. It was such a juxtaposition, how much she folded into herself despite her open expression and wild hair practically reaching out on its own.

"I- I'm sorry," Mara stuttered out in a musical voice, "I just heard the music and it was so... I didn't mean to disturb you."

"It's no bother," Hisagi said kindly, "did you want to come in?"

Mara looked carefully at the man in the room. At first sight he was intimidating to look at. His spiked black hair messily framed a face that was as handsome as it was tattooed. The gray/blue stripe across the bridge of his nose and cheekbone only highlighted the 69 on his cheek. Three razor thin scars ran over his right forehead, over his brow and eye all the way to his chin. He was built, but not bulky. A streamlined perfection that screamed raw power. The choker and armbands he wore seemed only accentuate the corded muscles on his body. But his eyes, gray and clear and kind, set her at ease. She new those eyes. The captain that had made her safe in the garden.

"I, uh, aren't you going to keep playing?" she asked.

"If you don't mind still listening to it," he said, refocusing on his guitar. He wasn't sure if he was turning away because he didn't want to put undue pressure on her, or because he couldn't decide how to feel when he looked at her. His heart got heavy at the sight of her. That was guilt, he knew. He had turned her world upside down and she didn't even know it yet.

But the other part of him… that side didn't care that everything leading up to her leaning on that door had been wrong. That side saw her wrapped in a robe, leaning on that door with tousled hair and salivated at the thought of being the only one to see that view every morning. She was uniquely beautiful to the point that he wanted to be the one to wrap his hands in that hair and leave it mussed. He couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to have his own arms wrapped around her the way she wrapped her own arms around to shield herself.

Hisagi adjusted himself in his seat, anger rearing at his errant thoughts. Sadness prevailed in his mind that he knew that would never be his life with this arranged betrothal he had just agreed to. Shaking his head at himself, Hisagi ran his fingers over the frets as he began strumming out another classic as he felt her settle on the other edge of the futon in the room.

He began to lose himself in the music as they sat in silence. He began another song as the first finished and was surprised to hear what sounded like humming. He looked over as he played to see Mara with her eyes closed, swaying gently and humming along to the chorus. He stilled his fingers on the chords and watched as her eyes slowly peeled back open.

"You know this song?" he asked

"I- I guess I do? I mean, I hear it and I know the words, but I don't remember anything about it," she gave him a tight, apologetic smile. "It's been a rough couple of days I guess…"

"You can say that again," Hisagi mumbled as he turned back to place his fingers on the strings again.

"You picked an appropriate song then," she said softly.

Hisagi tilted his head to raise an eyebrow at her over his shoulder, "Really? I've never heard the words… will you sing along?"

A pretty blush covered Mara's cheeks as she gaped slightly at his request. "I don't- I don't know if I'm a good singer. What if-"

"Only one way to find out," he said as he gently struck the opening chords. Leading slowly into the first verse. He didn't know if she would follow his lead but maybe, maybe this could be some way they could connect. He watched as Mara's eyes drifted closed again, brow furrowed in concentration.

"[I look at you all, see the love that is sleeping, While my guitar gently weeps,

I look at the floor and I see it needs sweeping, Still my guitar gently weeps.

I don't know why nobody told you, how to unfold your love

I don't know how someone controlled you, they bought and sold you...]"

Hisagi's fingers paused on the strings again and Mara looked at him sadly. "Sorry," she said biting her lip in a way that diverted his attention to it completely for a moment, "I warned you that I didn't know if I was good singer."

"It's not that at all," Hisagi said, snapping his eyes back to hers, "Did you know you were singing in a different language?"

Mara's eyes grew wide as she looked at him, "What? Really?"

"Yeah. I noticed you had a bit of an accent when you first started talking but I couldn't place it," Hisagi remarked, "Now, I'm guessing it was because this was your second language. You must have engrained it enough to still remember."

"But not my name?" Mara asked incredulously.

"Minds are strange and fragile things," Hisagi murmured as he reset his fingers again. "Think you can translate?"

Mara shrugged at him, "I can try."

Hisagi kept his eyes on her as he replayed the chorus and lead Mara into the next verse, smiling slightly as he began to hear the words coming out in Japanese. His smile slowly faded as he began to really listen to what she was singing.

"I look at the world and I notice its turning, while my guitar gently weeps,

With every mistake we must surely be learning, still my guitar gently weeps.

I don't know how you were diverted, you were perverted too

I don't know how you were inverted, no one alerted you"

Hisagi's fingers tripped over the strings as he cast a glance at Mara, seeing her singing so accurately without a damn clue. He almost stopped playing. He almost threw the goddamn guitar across the room. Almost, but then she looked at him, curiosity on her features, those fucking mesmerizing flecks of amber in her observant eyes drawing him into oblivion.

"I look from the wings at the play you are staging, while my guitar gently weeps,

As I'm sitting here doing nothing but aging, still my guitar gently weeps."

He couldn't take anymore. Hisagi finally stilled his fingers and lay his hand across the strings to stop the reverb. He couldn't look at her, so he just kept his eyes ahead focused on the blank wall ahead toward the door. The two of them simply sat in silence for a full minute.

With a deep sigh, he finally looked back over at Mara. He was surprised to see that she was lost to her own reverie, tracing the outline of her medical alert tattoo. And he was appalled to see a single tear streaking down her soft cheek in utter silence.

"I'm sorry," he said gruffly, "I didn't mean to-"

"It's not you," she said in a raw whisper. She shook her head, taking a deep breath as she wiped the tears from her misty eyes. "I told you it was a good song for a rough day," she said with a bleak laugh, giving him a half-hearted grin.

Hisagi gave her a small but genuine smile back, turning to face her fully. "You hit that one on the head. Is that thing at least giving you some comfort?" he asked, gesturing to the tattoo that her thumb now caressed.

Mara let out a small snort, catching Hisagi off guard. "Maybe it would if I could read it," she said in a frustrated voice, "but I guess reading didn't transfer to this language."

Hisagi hesitated before reaching out his large hand toward her, long fingers beckoning for her hand. "I can at least help you with that one, if you'll let me. I'll read it to you."

Mara's eyes flew to his gray ones, trying to read for any hint of malice or judgement. Finding none, she slowly extended her right hand to lay it in his. Her breath couldn't help but catch as she laid her cool hand against his warm one and a jolt of electricity shot between them. Hisagi couldn't help but smile as she handed him so much trust and didn't pull away at the nearly ironic spark between them.

Slowly his eyes left hers and he bent to read the characters on her arm. "This is a medical alert tattoo," he explained, pointing to the red cross at the top. "It had information of what people needed to do if they found you in distress." He slowly dragged just the tips of his fingers down the lines of script as he read to her, leaving goosebumps in his wake at the feather light touch. "This says your name is Mara Oliviera, you are 25."

"Were," she corrected him quietly.

Hisagi studied her face searching for a hint of how she felt about that fact, but a mask of sadness had settled in. He couldn't tell if it was a result of the situation in general or if that was because of the singular revelation she had just spoken

"Your doctor was Ishida Uryu," he stated pointing to the next line. That one had taken some time for him to wrap his head around when he had first seen Orihime's letter, but it shouldn't have surprised him. Fun stuff always seemed to always be coming from Karakura town. At least he was used to the fact before Mara actually got here.

"These, however," Hisagi said softly, dragging his fingers down the next few lines, "list your diagnosis… diagnosises? I doubt I can even pronounce all of them." His coarse but nimble fingers traced the veins in her wrist to the closest cluster of small pinprick scars, smoothing over the slight bumps. "I have been told that these scars are leftover from treatments."

Mara's hand lay over his, stopping his gentle movements. She wrapped her small hand around just two of his fingers, barely able to circle them, causing Hisagi to swallow hard. "I get it, I was really sick. That was probably why I died right?"

Hisagi shifted his gaze from their linked hands to her sad face. She didn't look up at him as he replied, "Probably."

Her grip tightened on him as she finally looked up, meeting his gaze with her own tearful one.

Those expressive eyes could break a man's heart, he realized.

"Then why did I come in the way I did?" she practically pleaded, begging for an answer to the chaos she had been left with.

Hisagi didn't break eye contact as he ran his thumb in soothing circles over her knuckles where she held onto him, "We will find out, I promise," he said earnestly, "Until then, It is nice to meet you Mara. I'm Hisagi Shuuhei."

He was graced by a small but real smile that knocked his socks off. "Captain Hisagi Shuuhei, I think you mean," she said gently, giggling slightly at his widened eyes, "I have been kept in your infirmary, plus I recognized you from the garden. You were the one who helped me. Thank you for that by the way."

Smiling a rare and heart-stopping smile. "You would not be the first person freaked out by Grimmjow," he chuckled, "he's an acquired taste and there is a long story that goes with that."

"You'll have to tell me sometime," she said, untangling her hands, suddenly nervous.

Hisagi tightened his hold on her fingers before she could jerk away completely. He didn't know why… he just didn't want to lose the contact with her. "Did I- Mara, did I say something to upset you?" he asked.

"No, I just- ," Mara looked back at his piercing gray eyes that seemed to stare into her before she had to break the long look between them. What the hell was wrong with her, she wondered. Here she is in this strange place with even stranger residents and she is getting weird vibes and all tingly around some hot guy with a guitar. No, she corrected herself, not some guy. A fucking captain. For all she new there could be a thousand captains wandering around this place, but it sure sounded important. Yet here he was, asking after her, saying 'they'- like him and her together- were going to figure this out all to help her.

There was something about him though, something that made her trust him. Something about him made her feel safe. A much more obvious something made her want to feel those strong hands on her and test the reach of those long, dexterous fingers. The thought alone made her blush as she looked at him, still studiously avoiding his eyes.

Mara jolted herself out of the reverie, out of the warmth of his hand around hers. He was just being… kind. Like yesterday in the garden. Like his eyes promised he was. She must just be reacting to the crazy now surrounding her with hormones, reaching out for comfort from the one person who seemed to be offering it that could actually deliver. "Why are you trying to help me?" she asked, finally finding her voice.

Hisagi's eyes stayed soft but his mouth tensed into a hard line as he averted his eyes to the open door. "You have already spoken to Grimmjow, so I am guessing he made his unfavorable opinion know. He has very valid reasons for his view, but I don't believe Soul Society is all bad," Hisagi said slowly, "There is a lot of politics to the balance here and just by your entrance it threw in an unknown factor. Some would never hurt you. Others would want to pick you apart. I don't believe that is right and… and something about you makes me want to protect you. I mean- beyond it being the right thing to do."

Mara's eyes shot to Hisagi's face, exploring it for any crack in his expression. She had been in this room for what? 20 or 30 minutes. Beyond the time in the garden, when he had basically calmed a wild woman, this man hadn't been around her. So what was he- "What are you saying?"

Hisagi's eyes met hers, unreadable sheen of sadness covering their normally open depths. "I just-" he bit his lip with a heart-stopping sexiness that he wasn't aware of, "I want you to be free here despite your entry. So that you don't have to worry, I've placed you under my protection. No one will defy that." Hisagi stepped back, almost awkwardly, as he dropped her hands.

Hisagi watched as a variety of emotion flicked over Mara's face as he spoke and stepped back. Shock and confusion were the most prevalent as she darted her keen eyes over his face and removed body language but he could see want flickering too. It mattered not if it was actually want of him or comfort, either one would draw her to him. He wasn't sure why he had said what he did about feeling more except that it was true. He didn't know why it was true, but it was a relief to tell the girl a shred of truth. The question was if she would accept that truth or run from it. The war inside her was clear as she seemed to physically fight herself from running away or reaching out to him simultaneously.

Come on, beautiful. Don't run away from me so early.

Slowly, so slowly, Mara took a step toward him. She hesitated, almost pulling back before reaching out her hand to gently lay it on Hisagi's arm. "Thank you, captain," she murmured, inhaling sharply when his hand immediately cam to cover hers. "I know I'm under your protection but… am I going to see you again soon?"

You came to me, Mara. I will give you everything. Maybe I can get you to love me before I have to beg you to forgive me.

"Everyday," Hisagi promised as he swept her hand to his mouth, barely grazing her knuckles with his lips, causing her to gasp and blush slightly before he released her to go to her room.

"Mara," he called, catching her mid stride as she turned out the door. She stopped, looking over at his with raised brows. "Please, call me Shuuhei."

He was rewarded with a radiant smile that stunned him into smiling back, not losing the joyful expression even as she disappeared down the hall.

"Holy shit, Cap!" Grimmjow whispered as he sonido'd into the room after Mara had left. "I did NOT think you had that in you. You played that so fucking perfect, you almost had me believing it! You know, if this shinigami thing don't work out, you should be an actor. That- Cap?"

Grimmjow leveled a puzzled expression at Hisagi who hadn't bothered to even turn to look at him yet. Hisagi's face held a thoughtful expression and small smile, his gaze never leaving the door where she had disappeared.