Year Five – Day 221

Dooku looks ashamed, he doesn't look up once at the recorder and tears brim his eyes. He's in the small cave behind the waterfall where he had once hid in long ago.

I was wrong about Master Yoda and made a bigger fool of myself than I really was. I went to his lesson today with the intent of getting hurt to show everyone how unfair he was being toward me. I never stopped to realize that he was trying to teach me something and only when I was about to make a big mistake, did I understand.

He bites his lower lip.

He was waiting for me, even arranged it so that we were first. I was ready to lose and break my arm and before I could give the customary bow, he declared "I win!".

"But we haven't even started yet!" I had protested.

"Already lost you have, the moment you walked in," he pointed out with a claw in my direction. I stared dumbstruck at him. He knew what I had been planning and prevented me from carrying it out. "Proud you are, Dooku. Thinking in the right, eager to prove yourself you were. Did not stop to think that perhaps old Yoda was teaching a promising student. Pride will be your undoing if you allow it, youngling."

I didn't know what to say to him or do after that, so I bowed and accepted my loss. I didn't participate for the rest of the lesson. I screwed up and Yoda admonished me for my stupidity. I was going to hurt myself just so I could nurse my pride. He might as well have just hit me with his cane like he tends to do when I'm being stupid.

I wish he had.

He swallows thickly and wipes at his eyes.

Maybe I should get that hyper-comm working and call my father to take me back. I don't think I'm cut out to be a Jedi. I'm easily angered and hurt when things don't go my way or I don't win.

He sniffs and just sits there in the cave for a long time, seemingly lost in thought. Dooku wipes his sleeve across his nose and rubs the tears from his eyes again. After a while there is a noise from the cave entrance where the water fell like a curtain. His dark eyes turn toward it, scowling that someone would disturb his hiding place. His expression softens when he sees it is Jocasta, and the relief he shows suggests that he's glad its not Yoda or Lorian.

What are you doing hiding in here for?

Hiding.

I can see that. But why?

Jocasta comes to sit down beside him. He's taller than her now by a couple inches.

I don't want to talk about it.

Alright, but Master Naki always says it helps to talk.

Dooku scowls a little but it doesn't stay for long when he's suddenly hugged by the young red-head. She grips him firmly for a second more before letting go.

What was that for?

You looked like you could use one.

He blinks, dumbfounded at her but then smiles shyly which she returns. They end up chatting about the others and things they've done and seen recently. Not once does she ask him again about what had upset him and he's grateful for it. He's laughing by the time the entry ends.