A profound relief filled Ben as the ship settled into hyperdrive. He and Rose completed the flight check with surprising ease. He hadn't flown that ship in a decade, and even then not that often. But somehow his fingers knew where to go to enable systems and check the status of various operations.
He glanced back over to Rose once they'd finished. "You okay here on your own for a bit?" he asked. "Do you need anything? I can try to find you some pain relief."
She shook her head. "Save it for them. I'm okay. Finn is probably pretty miserable though. And keep a close eye on Poe for me. He's putting on a brave act, but he might be worse than he is letting on."
"I'll take care of them for you," he assured her, resting his hand lightly on her shoulder. "I promise. Call if you need me, okay?"
She nodded and settled back to watch the stars flow by.
He exited the cockpit and circled the hallway of the Falcon to Rey's bunk in the recreation area just off the cockpit. "How are you?" he asked, touching her lightly on the cheek. Her energy felt extremely low, but steady.
"I'm just tired," Rey answered. "I'll be fine."
He looked into her eyes and did his best to assess her real condition. He didn't think her head injury was life threatening but he had no way to know for sure. "Stay awake, okay?" he said gently, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Finn lay on the lounge across the room, his injured leg propped on a quickly assembled stack of blankets. "Hey, make sure she doesn't go to sleep. Call me if she looks droopy," Ben instructed. "How's your ankle?"
"Hurts like crazy," Finn groaned. "But I'm making it."
The Falcon's med unit had never been much and whatever used to be there had apparently been salvaged during its past several years in a Jakku junkyard. He dug around and finally found an analgesic hypo for Finn. "It isn't much, but it's what we've got," Ben commented sadly. "Try meditating through the pain."
"Does it help?"
Ben shrugged. "I honestly don't know. I always used pain as fuel."
"Fuel for what?" Finn asked as Ben pressed the hypo to his arm.
Ben didn't expect the flashbacks that suddenly beset him. Training sessions with Snoke and missions with the Knights of Ren were sometimes incredibly and deliberately painful, all to help him access the power that came from fury. "Mostly rage," he admitted. "Rage and destruction."
"That is just wrong," Finn stated. "You know that now, right?"
"Yeah," he replied. "I know."
"Ben." Rey reached out a hand to him. He crossed over to her and took it.
"What was that?" she asked, her eyes troubled. His flashbacks had apparently spilled over to her.
He squeezed her hand gently and whispered, "It's okay."
"Are you sure?" she asked.
"I'm fine. I am," he assured her both aloud and through the link. "I'm going to go check on Poe, okay?" She nodded. He kissed her forehead again. "I'll be back soon."
He rounded the corner to the main crew quarters. BB-8 rolled back and forth next to Poe's bedside, appearing to pace nervously.
"How's he doing?" he asked the droid.
The little orange and white ball chirped a response at him—mostly anxious.
"I'm okay, buddy," Poe said quietly. BB-8 just crooned sadly in response.
Ben sat on the edge of the bunk. Poe didn't look good. "Talk to me," Ben commanded quietly. "What's going on with you?"
Poe grimaced. "I think maybe that last rockfall messed something up inside," he admitted at last, much more calmly than he should have given the circumstances. "Don't tell Rey. She did everything she could."
Ben had seen men die before. Usually quickly and violently, most often on the wrong end of his lightsaber. But he'd seen men die slowly as well. Poe looked entirely too much like a man dying slowly.
"No. You don't get to do this to me," Ben informed him, placing a hand on Poe's forearm. "You promised me X-wing time. You don't get to back out." He closed his eyes and pulled on his reserves, concentrating on the healing the Force promised. He channeled as much as he could before feeling his own heart rate drop a little lower than it should. He remembered Rey's warning that they needed him conscious.
But he felt it take hold, maybe enough to buy them time. "Rey is so much better at this than I am," he apologized. "But I'm going to learn. I promise."
Poe breathed a little easier. "You should have seen her, Ben. It was incredible. It felt like the entire mountain was coming down on us, but she kept it back long enough for us to make the entrance. Then she threw those raiders away from us like toys. I don't know where they landed. And even when the next shocks hit, she kept the rocks off us again—well, mostly. We should have stayed closer together. I should have stayed closer."
Ben shushed him. "Save it for later. Rest."
"If I don't make it—" Poe began a few seconds later.
"Be quiet. You're going to make it," Ben stated firmly. Then he sat on the floor so he could lean back against the side of the bunk, but still keep one hand on Poe's wrist. "Just give me a few minutes."
He rested and meditated, reaching for the light, for peace, for a place where pain gave way to growth. Once he felt like he'd recharged enough to do any good, he passed that light back to Poe until he grew lightheaded. Then he leaned back and closed his eyes and began to meditate again.
"How are you making it?" Ben asked after several minutes of this, his eyes closed in exhaustion.
Poe didn't answer. BB-8 just chirped nervously.
He tried to feel for Poe's presence like he did Rey's but got very little. Ben's appreciation of the pilot's skills went up tremendously considering the man was almost completely Force-insensitive. He mentally shrugged. Han Solo had been too, but could fly anything.
"Poe?" he asked again. Silence. "Come on. Talk to me."
"He is sleeping," came a squeaky little voice. Ben opened his eyes to see a tiny, one-wheeled droid. "Sleeping."
"You sure?" Ben asked.
"He is breathing. He is sleeping," the droid repeated.
"Good. Thanks—umm? What's your name?"
"D-O." The little droid rolled back and forth merrily.
"Thanks, D-O. Why haven't I seen you before now?" Ben rubbed his eyes with his free hand, keeping the other on Poe's arm, just to make sure he didn't miss any warning signs.
"I was hiding." D-O sounded anxious, which was unusual for a droid.
"That's a shame. We're not going to hurt you. I'm Ben." He watched the little droid roll back and forth, its cone-shaped head swiveling and tilting curiously.
"Ben," it said.
"Yeah. Wake me up if anything happens, okay?" Ben asked. Then he closed his eyes and fell asleep.
Sometime later he felt a little wheel roll into his leg. BB-8 had not stopped fretting anxiously in the background. "Ben," the little droid repeated.
He struggled awake. "He is not sleeping," D-O announced.
"Poe? You awake?" Ben asked. Nothing.
"He is not breathing."
Ben suddenly realized that BB-8 was not fretting. He was panicking. He marshalled every bit of energy he had and poured it into Poe in one desperate burst of healing. The world tilted sideways and went almost completely black. As he fought his way back to consciousness, he heard Poe take a gasping breath.
"Damn it, Poe," Ben cursed. "I told you not to do that."
"Do what?" Poe asked, his voice rough.
"Die. Don't die again." Ben fell back to the floor next to the bunk, still keeping a tight grip on Poe's wrist.
"Okay. Whatever you say," Poe said wearily.
Ben didn't allow himself to sleep again even though Poe seemed marginally better and he was now completely exhausted. He lay there and tried to breathe and recover something that approximated strength. He still had to help Rose land on Ajan Kloss.
Even though he hadn't recovered much, he was beyond grateful when Rose's voice sounded over the intercom. "Ben, we're about to drop out of light speed."
"Be right there," he answered. Then he turned to D-O. "BB-8 is a nervous wreck. So I'm counting on you to come get me in the cockpit if he stops breathing again, okay?"
"Okay." D-O scooted back and forth.
He pulled himself to his feet and leaned against the bulkhead until he felt like he could walk. "You keep breathing, okay?" he instructed Poe.
"Whatever you did helped," Poe replied. "I'm fine."
"I've heard that before," Ben grumbled. "Don't die. You owe me flight time twice now."
Poe laughed but the laugh turned into a groan. When Ben turned back to him, he waved him away. "I promise I will make it to Ajan Kloss. Go land us."
Ben circled back to the cockpit, checking in with Finn and Rey as he did. "Is Poe okay?" Rey asked. "I still can't feel much in the Force right now, but you seemed really worried a while ago."
"He's fine," Ben lied, counting on Rey's weariness to hide it from her. He didn't want her to worry. "We're going to get all of you on the ground and in the med unit the second we land."
She nodded. He placed a hand on her head, checking in. He felt mostly exhaustion, which he completely understood, with a touch of fogginess still. "Stay awake, okay?" he told her again.
He entered the cockpit to see Rose reaching for a switch that was exactly too far overhead for her to touch. "Sorry. All this was set up for Chewbacca," he apologized as he flipped it. Then he sat down and looked over at her. The bruise on the side of her face had turned dark. Her elbow was clearly swelling. "Damn it, Rose," he said gently. "Why didn't you say something? I would have come back up here sooner."
She shook her head. "I'm alright. They needed you back there."
"Yeah. They did," he admitted. "Let me at least see if I can help a little with that arm."
She waved him away. "No. You look like you're about to collapse. I'll be fine until we land. But we don't land without you. This stupid ship takes two to run and I can't reach everything one handed."
He nodded and turned back to the controls. Once they dropped out of light speed and began their approach to base, Rose called in their distress and got clearance to land close to the med unit.
"Tell them Poe needs emergency care. Top priority," Ben said.
Once she was off comms she asked, "How bad is he?"
"Bad enough that it was a good thing you were able to stay up here," he replied. "He's hanging on for now. But I don't think I can do much more for him."
Rose nodded as tears filled her eyes. Then he saw her cross over from worry to determination. "So we get him home," she declared.
"Fastest route possible," he replied, sending a little more power to the sub-light thrusters.
They had a few minutes before hitting the landing beacons. "I asked Rey to marry me," he stated. "Are you okay with that?"
Rose gave him an odd look. "Why does it matter what I think? What did she say?"
"She said yes." He couldn't help the huge grin that he could feel covering his face. "But it matters because you care about her. Poe already threatened to kill me if I hurt her. I'm sure Finn will feel the same way. But you are her best friend. If we don't need to do this right now, you'd tell me, right? I don't want to rush her into anything before she's ready."
Rose smiled at him, wincing a little at the bruise. "She loves you. But you guys' relationship has been super weird, you know that right?"
"Yes," he replied sheepishly. "Now you're making me second guess myself."
"Don't. You make her happy," she said sincerely. "You brought her back! That's crazy! Whatever you guys have is weird, but it is the most real thing I've ever seen." She checked their flight clearance. "But if you hurt her, I will also kill you."
"I wouldn't expect otherwise." While Rose touched base one more time with the ground, he flipped on the intercom. "We're about to land. Everybody okay?"
"We're good," Finn called back.
BB-8 whistled an affirmative as D-O added, "He is breathing."
"What does he mean, 'he is breathing'?" Rose demanded after Ben had released the intercom. "Was there a time when he wasn't breathing?"
"Just for a second," Ben answered as he set the Falcon down as gently as possible considering the high rate of speed of his approach. "Well, maybe a few seconds. But he came back."
"He what?" Rose finished the landing sequence on her side.
"Poe?" Ben called into the intercom as the ship finished settling. "Tell Rose you're okay."
No answer. "Open the hatch," he called to Rose as he ran to the crew quarters, his heart racing.
BB-8 crooned and rolled back and forth beside the bed. Poe was pale and still, but his chest rose and fell slowly. Ben grabbed his arm and once more dumped everything he had, not sure if he was healing or just buying time, but determined to keep Poe going until the med unit could take over. "You don't get to leave," he said as his knees buckled and he sank to the floor beside the bunk in exhaustion. "You promised me."
The doors opened with a whoosh, letting in the fresh air of Ajan Kloss, not quite as hot but much more humid than Tatooine had been. Two techs accompanied by a floating med droid rushed into the crew quarters. He crawled aside, his head swimming too badly to try to stand. The droid beeped and assessed and injected before moving aside for the med techs. One expanded the stretcher and they loaded Poe onto it. They were gone in a matter of minutes, BB-8 trailing behind them.
Ben staggered to the lounge area just in time to see Rose being helped down the ramp. Finn and Rey were nowhere to be seen.
"Rey?" he called. "Where are they taking you?"
"The med facilities," she answered. "They gave me something that made me so tired…" Her presence drifted away into sleep.
He forced himself to take a deep breath. She was okay. They were all okay. He just had to find the medical unit.
He pushed himself back to the cockpit to make sure everything was locked down. The last thing he wanted was to leave power on and burn out a motivator. After the final check, he sat back in the seat, his eyes drifting shut.
He shook himself awake. He needed to find the med unit. That was his top priority. D-O followed him to the access ramp. "Do you know where the infirmary is?" he asked the little droid.
"Yes."
"Will you take me there?" Ben asked, propping himself on the wall as a dizzy spell hit.
D-O rolled back and forth, its head tilting and turning as if considering his options. "Yes," it said at last and took off. Ben managed to keep pace with it as D-O descended the ramp and rolled down a dirt lane that connected this landing area with the settlement.
They crossed between buildings and down a narrow alleyway. Ben began to wonder if D-O was deliberately misleading him, but abruptly came to the entrance labeled "Emergency Care."
"Thank you," he said, opening the door and holding it for the droid to enter as well. D-O hesitated. "I know you're worried too. Come on in. I'll tell them you're with me," Ben assured him.
"I'm with Ben." D-O rolled inside.
The tech that met them pointed the way to the triage area. "Everyone is responding well," she said as they entered the room. "But they are all under sedation so the bacta can work most efficiently."
A pair of medical droids hovered around Finn's broken ankle apparently doing reconstruction work. Rose lay on a bunk just down from his, her broken arm still in the sling he'd improvised. But her monitors were all green.
Across the room, Rey also lay quietly under sedation. A tiny observational droid floated next to her head, beeping softly every few seconds.
"Is she badly hurt?" Ben asked anxiously.
"A concussion and some abrasions," the tech informed him. "She's had an injection that should resolve everything in an hour or so. She does need rest as well. She seemed exhausted."
Ben nodded.
Poe lay in the last bunk in a modified bacta suit. Through the clear liquid Ben could see that his torso was heavily bruised.
"He will be here a few days. There was significant organ damage and internal bleeding," the tech said softly. "He's in recovery, but we honestly don't know how he survived the trip here."
"He's stubborn and he owes me flight time," Ben informed her. He stepped back to survey the room where the four of them lay sleeping, out of danger at last. "Can I stay here somewhere?" he asked the tech.
"We have a waiting area in the adjacent building," the tech suggested.
"I'd feel better if I could just stay here. Somewhere out of the way maybe?" Ben asked.
She looked him over. "You look pretty worn out yourself. Maybe you should go home, clean up, and go to bed. They're fine. We'll take good care of them."
Ben took a deep breath aware that Kylo Ren shouted inside him to threaten violence or compel her mentally to obey him. He ignored Ren's advice. "I really don't want to leave. Please understand. I'll be quiet and stay out of the way. I promise."
Inside him the echoes of the voices began to taunt him. "Now we're begging?" they sneered.
He ignored them as well. They were memories left over from another life. They did not belong to him. They never had. "Please?" he repeated to the tech.
She sighed. "Just stay out of the way, okay?"
He agreed.
The two surgical droids finished their work on Finn and moved to Rose. In only a matter of minutes they'd finished repairing her elbow as well. The droid above Rey continued to beep quietly, and the whoosh of the filtration system in Poe's bacta suit took on a soothing rhythmic quality.
The interior lights dimmed as the droids left, leaving him standing in the center of the room. D-O rolled slowly back and forth beside him. He sat down right where he was, where he could see everyone and reached out in the Force to them.
He had so little left, but he encircled them all with tendrils of Force energy. Even asleep, Rey reached back to him, her warm sleepy presence interweaving with his. He closed his eyes and rested against her.
He didn't earn this. Not in any way. He didn't deserve it. But as her love moved around and through him, he understood what he had.
He was loved.
He was accepted.
He was whole.
