A/N: The songs for this chapter are Supposed To Be by Icon For Hire and I Prevail Breaking Down. Let me know whatcha think!

Lucy's POV

"Another sleepless night it seems." I mumble to myself after a quick glance at my alarm clock.

Pulling the covers slightly away to glance around my room I get blinded by light. The offending source makes my eyes water slightly before adjusting to the brightness. It burns through my curtains filling my room, giving off a faint heavenly appeal. My light blue and white walls give the room the appearance of a brighter atmosphere than the dark aura surrounding me. My bed smothered in the glow as a bundle of blankets curled around my lumpy form trying to crawl closer into the wall. As far away from reality. A beep echoes in the silence makes me groan as I try to turn away.

Morning came by too quick in my opinion and honestly I wasn't ready to face anyone yet. I was scared. How am I supposed to face everyone? Do I act like 'Lucy' or like the mess I feel right now? "Smile like the light that you're supposed to be Lucy" I mumble the mantra to myself. I tried to force it but the tug on my lips felt weighted. Sighing again I glare up at my ceiling feeling the turmoil begin within me. How am I supposed to do this again? You'd think after years of practice I'd be a pro at this, but when it comes down to it I feel like a frozen painting. Frowning, I let my mind wander back to my friends and everyone back at school, do they all know?

I have to smile.

No one can see this weak side of me. No, that's a lie, they already have. Then I have to play it cool and act like it doesn't affect me, right? No one will know or find out. Unless they already knew. Gods, I can't do this. Am I too far gone?

Sighing loudly I pull the sheets down as my alarm continues to blare through my room. The emptiness felt like a reminder of what I needed to face. Whimpers were heard at the bottom of the bed, Plue's soft pleas for me to turn off the darn screeching demon was enough to give me a small jump start. Removing myself from my safe haven I turn off the alarm and head to the shower. Maybe a good shower will make me feel better? The warm carpet comforted me till I hit the cold tile. A small shiver felt like an electric shock making me almost run back into my room and under the covers. And as much as the idea itself sounded more inviting, I decided against it.

When I turned on the lights, I did my best at avoiding myself in the mirror. I knew I looked like utter garbage and lacked the image of the girl I used to be. But the soft echoes of the promises I gave myself made me decide against that idea. "First step." I mutter to myself.

Stopping dead center I shakily turn and look at myself, I know I needed this as a reminder. Proof that this Lucy, scared little Lucy, will be no more. After all the mess I lead myself to, I need to learn to take a step forward, or try at least. A slight look I could tell my hair was a rats nest and looked ready to home a few rodents or birds any second. Turning more I take in my pale reflection revealing my bloodshot eyes, dark bags underlined red with irritation. Staring myself down I didn't recognize myself, I looked like a different person. Well I already knew I looked like garbage to begin with, but still. I knew people would say that phrase nonchalantly but this was a real eye opener.

Giving my mirror my full attention I begin to lean in slightly bringing my hand up to gently touch the glass. I felt like this was an alternative reality. The blotchy red and pale cheeks, puffy eyes and unsheathed appearance was that of a bad nightmare. Bringing my hand down I grab my brush and begin to detangle my mess of hair. Slowly my locks looked more in their natural state.

More comfortable with my appearance I turn but give myself one last look before removing my clothing. Turning my water to a blazing hot temperature I step in and try to wash away any evidence of the previous days. Leaning back into the wall, the water falls against my back as I let myself relax a bit more before shutting it off and stepping out. Towel drying myself I turn back to my reflection, questioning my decision. I know I don't want to be stuck or be considered crazy? Is that even the right wording? Is it crazy? No, it'd be more along the lines of a cycle. Right? Maybe...weakness? Yeah that was a better word to put it bluntly. Covering my mouth in concentration I try to convince myself that I'm not going crazy. Mentally I am damaged goods but not crazy. Right?

God why is so hard to convince myself and reiterate everything to make myself believe it. You'd think saying it once was enough to be able to change. But that wasn't realistic was it? Eyes moving back into those of my reflection. They looked hollow, lacking and dull. Typical look for the role of a broken protagonist. This is the real Lucy, right?

Slapping my cheeks I shake my head. Stop it! No more self pity- or protagonist comparisons… at least now. Geez why do I even think of comparisons to begin with? I need to hold off on watching movies for a while. Not like it'll change anything really it'd just be a lack of distractions for me. A humorless laugh escapes my lips, now this, this itself is crazy having to compare yourself to those roles. That's probably another reason why he never loved you.

No, shut up. I need to stop while I'm ahead.

Take slow and easy steps forward like Loke told you. Come on I could do this. Smiling slightly, I continue on with my morning routine and try to cover up anything that didn't look...right. Changing into my uniform, a black thigh length skirt, a white long sleeved button up shirt, a grey cardigan with my school's logo on the breast and a red and yellow striped tie. I roll on my thigh high black socks before slipping my feet into my Mary Janes. I checked myself over making sure my uniform looked perfect and fixed any mistakes. I braid my hair into a french side braid making sure to leave a few strands to frame my face as my side swept bangs fall lightly onto my eyebrows. Giving myself a once over I turn to Plue looking for his approval. He lets out a small bark before letting out a yawn. He's too cute for his own good, I thought as I patted his head lightly.

"You hungry boy?" he barks again before I smile. "Alright let's eat then before I go." Grabbing my bag we head into my kitchen and eat. I pulled out my phone and decided to turn it back on. My fingers shook slightly from the small action. Loke's voice telling me I needed to focus on myself before we head back into school rang in my head. He had to keep reminding me to avoid my phone and even turned the little electronic off to keep my focus away. He tried to keep things on a lighter note trying to remind me of who I was. Though the idea itself was odd, especially watching Loke trying to recreate a "Lucy" he thought I was. I even laughed at his impersonation but it never seemed right. Was that really Lucy?

The front door opening brought me out of my thoughts as the lion boy himself sang out my name. "Lucy! My beloved, I'm here! Your knight in shining armor."

Giggling at his timing and usual choice of words everything felt, well, normal? Forgetting about my phone for a second I place it back down on my table. Will it all seem normal when I walk into the school? Will it all seem like a dream?

I don't think I should go… Maybe going is a bad idea? I don't want to see him. I don't want to see everyones pity. Their eyes watching my every move. Do I act like nothing happened? Or do I avoid the topic. Which is the right choice? Which will cause the least amount of issues? Do I not sit with our friends anymore? Do I avoid everyone?

"-cy." Long fingers snap in front of me to catch my attention. "Lucy!"

Loke's concerned face fills my blurry vision. He brings his hand onto my cheek whipping away the falling tears. Huh, when did I start to cry? Why am I crying? Frowning, I already broke my own promise to myself and the day just started. Clenching onto my skirt I shut my eyes, disappointed in myself. I couldn't even follow through with my first step. Why am I already moving backwards! I'm trying to change and yet I can even move an inch.

"You can't change overnight you know." Pulling me into a hug I cling onto Loke as he continues. "Princess, the first step is acknowledging you need to change. And it's hard to move forward after a break up. Hell even from everything that you've experienced so far. You can't just assume you'd be a new you without all the hardships. Trust me, you'll get there." He pulls away and holds my face, my hands instinctively grab onto his wrists as I search his eyes. Smiling, he kisses my forehead before leaning onto it with his own. "You can do this. Even if you step back I'll be there and pull you forward. I won't let you go through this on your own. I believe in you. Trust me Lucy, I won't let you suffer alone."

Nodding my head I smile up at him, but my smile falters. "B-but, what do I do when we see each other? Do I act like nothing happened?" Clinging to his wrists I take a steady breath in "I don't want to be stuck Loke…"

He gently rubs my cheeks with his thumbs before pulling away and pulling me up. "One step at a time Princess. One step at a time." Nodding I felt a bit more confident as we left. Before heading out the door I quickly run back and grab my phone. Noticing I had a lot of notifications ranging from text messages and calls I sigh. I had a lot of explaining to do and that's for sure. I grab my coat right by the front door before calling out to Plue I'd see him later.

The walk to school felt longer than ever. Each step felt heavier and heavier. The walk itself couldn't have been more than ten minutes but the closer the school gates came the more antsy I felt. Noticing my discomfort Loke holds onto my hand, squeezing it as reinforcement. Taking a breath in we head inside. Before reaching the steps of the entrance I was tackled forward. Two thin pairs of arms turning me around as a short blue headed girl glared me down. Wide eyed I noticed she was followed by a taller bluenette and redhead as well.

"What the hell Lu!" She pulls me into a tighter hug. " I was worried sick! Why haven't you returned my call or messages!"

"Levy is right Lucy. It isn't like you to ignore your friends." The red head scolded in a motherly fashion. "Did something happen? Do I need to punish someone?"

"Juvia believes Lucy must've had a reason for not responding. Juvia thinks we shouldn't assume anything yet." The taller bluenette states trying to calm the other two females, but worry filled her eyes as she turned her gaze towards me.

With a scratchy voice I apologized to my three best friends, "Sorry...things got a little hectic, so I needed a bit of a break. I should've let you guys know before I went off the radar." I couldn't really fault them, even though they were too much at times I knew they really cared. My friends are like my family and I shouldn't worry them.

Pulling away Levy gives me a sly grin before jokingly stating "what, Natsu taking all your attention away from us. Bet he must've made it real 'hectic' for ya." She makes air quotations making the other girls turn scarlet red and stuttering messes.

Normally I'd be a blushing mess as well but her words only left me stiff. I should've known this was going to be brought up sooner than later. Before even getting a chance to think of a response I feel a tug on my arm. Turning my attention back to the forgotten Loke, he gives the girls a teasing grin. "Sorry, it was more of my fault that she was preoccupied last week. What can I say I can't stop professing my undying love for her." He pulls me into a hug to hide me away making me feel eternally grateful. "She had to deal with my beautiful ass since I haven't seen her for soo long. Oh Lucy my sweet princess I almost forgot we need to hurry to class. Don't wanna be late!"

He pulls me away yelling out apologies and farewells to our confused friends. We walk through the halls filled with students. Their stares lingering as we reached our lockers, their whispers and laughs making me want to curl away. Clinging closer to Loke we gather the material needed and walk into a rhythm silence before entering our classroom. The room was mostly full as students were chatting around in their groups. Before Loke and I separated he gave me one final hand squeeze before heading to his group of friends.

I stood by the doorway trying to breath, my nerves set ablaze as I felt suffocated. Forcing a smile I greet everyone adding in a wave hoping they won't notice. Their smiles looked warm but I still felt uneasy but tried to force it back. No, they wouldn't think ill of me right? Breathing in again, I let my eyes wander the classroom before noticing a messy black mop sitting alone in the back. Not wanting to stand around I quickly rush over to the back of the classroom before standing in front of the lonesome male.

Feeling uncomfortable, I shuffle my feet slightly before whispering out "h-hi Rogue...would it be okay if I sat with you back here?" I felt a few eyes watching me most being confused as to why I went to the back while others seemed dumbfounded that I was talking to the teen. He lifts his head up a bit from his folded arms and stares at me slightly confused as well. Feeling nervous he'd reject me, I shifted nervously.

Blinking a few times he slowly nods his head before sitting back as I quickly took a seat beside him. We both sat in silence, but it felt comfortable rather than awkward. Bringing my hands on my lap I ignore the questioning look Loke is sending me and stare off at my desk. Taking a small breath I try to brave up a bit and turn to Rogue opening my mouth but pause. What was I supposed to say? I begin to close my mouth trying to form something that wouldn't be considered weird. I struggle for a bit before the bell rings signaling it was time for class. Frowning, I turn back to face forward as the teacher walks in. Disappointed with myself I try to shove the dark thoughts that try to creep up. Pulling out my notebook and book I get ready for the lesson before a small piece of paper lands onto my portion of the desk. Puzzled, I turn to my bored looking neighbor before grabbing the note. Knowing that the teacher wasn't paying any mind I unfold it sneakily and begin to read.

'You okay..? You were staring at me like a confused fish with how you kept opening and closing your mouth.'

Pouting slightly at the comment I couldn't help a small smile reach my lips. He had a really nice style of writing, it was neat and had a slight cursive look to it. Grabbing my pen I begin to write back.

'I'm feeling a bit better, but still feel like a mess. I'm still sorry you had to witness that. Also that was mean! I was struggling on what to say.' I fold up the note and slide it over to him before turning back to writing my notes. I hear a soft snort and smile slightly.

He slides back the note this time before relaxing again. 'Well it's true, kinda creepy if you ask me. Felt like you were ready to chant a spell or something. And sorry to hear, but I'm sure it'll work out.'

'I might as well cast a spell if you're going to make fun of me, jerk!'

"Miss Heartfillia!" I quickly pull my hand away from the note. Wide eyed I looked fearfully at our teacher praying he didn't notice I was passing notes. "Well? Do you know the answer?"

Confused, I weakly ask him to repeat the question only to be scolded for not paying attention. Luckily he let it go seeing as I was a "perfect straight A student" as he says. This left an odd feeling sturr inside me though. It sounded off this time around.

As I try to follow the lesson again I couldn't help but let my gaze linger back to Rogue. He was looking out the window with a neutral expression. Trying to follow his gaze I spotted a pink and black blur below. From the looks of it it was gym but the two hair colors were all too familiar. A flash of red ran to them stopping whatever fight they were having this time. But even from this distance I felt a pang in my heart. Clutching my shirt I turned away from the scene, trying to still what I was feeling.

Course I was the only one hurting. Tears were already brimming my eyes when another note was passed over again. Glancing back over at the male beside me he looked as if he hadn't moved. Curiosity getting the best of me, I wipe away the unshed tears as I read it.

'You okay?'

Frowning I quickly write back before sending it back. 'I'm fine.'

'Not any of my business, but just a suggestion. Talking usually helps a bit. Or so I've heard.'

My brows crease together as I reread his note. Talk about it? Wouldn't that bring more pain? Then again back when he and I used to be friends it did always make the pain feel lighter. But I don't know if I'm ready for that.

Class went by in a blur as did most of my classes. By the time the lunch bell rang I felt scared. I was the last one to leave my classroom, when I reached my locker I stalled as much as possible. I knew I wasn't going to go sit with my group of friends but where would I even go in the first place? Grabbing my homework I decided to head to the library before anyone could come looking for me. Seated in the far back corner I tried to work on my homework but I felt lonely.

Pulling out my phone I search through all the names listed debating on who to contact. A small hand pats my head shaking me out of my concentration. Levy was squatting in front of me followed by Juvia and Erza. "Why are you alone here Lu?"

Biting my lip I focus back down at my work and with a meek voice I reply "I wanted to get my assignments out of the way."

Levy sighed before they all circled around me, taking a seat as they watched me. "Then why don't we join you? Four heads are better than one right?" She smiles at me before pulling out her work.

"Juvia thinks that's a wonderful idea! Juvia needs help with some subjects as well. Where shall we start?" Juvia excitedly states before searching through her bag. Her loose curls bunching up around her face as she turned.

"Well while we're at it then I might as well join you as well. Though how are your classes so far this semester? It feels as if this semester hasn't changed so far." Erza starts but by the end of it she seemed irritated. "Those fools. You'd think by the end of gym they'd be worn out not running around causing a ruckus. Why am I always the one stuck with the idiots!" she woefully declares causing the others to laugh. I couldn't help but let out my own little chuckles as well. As much as it hurts to hear, it was nice to know that nothing has changed so far.

"There's never a dull moment in this school. Especially with our idiots running around causing chaos." Levy laughs out as she takes small glances in my direction. Letting out a snort I avoid her gaze and I try to continue my work. I'm glad they're here with me, but this topic just brings back memories.

They continue on their conversation while working as I mostly keep to myself. A knot forming in my throat making it too hard to speak or breath. The topics are getting heavier and heavier, almost suffocating. I try hard to ignore the tears wanting to form but after hearing his name more than once being brought up I felt my will weakening. I needed to get away. Quickly standing up, not bothering to move my items I inform them of me needing to use the restroom. They tried to offer to come along but I refused a little too hastily. Levy's next response has me stopping.

"I knew it! Something is wrong!" She reaches out to grab a hold of my arm turning me around before pleading, "Lu what's going on? Why can't you tell us? Aren't we friends?"

Tears begin falling down my face as Erza and Juvia both stand and begin to slowly walk over. "Please Lucy, Juvia understands if you're hurting too much to speak to us, but we only wish to help. Juvia, no, all of us are worried about you. You've been acting strange since this morning and we only wish to help you." She grabbed a hold of my hand bringing it to her chest, she tightened her grip slightly as tears formed in her own eyes. She looks up at me with a sad smile. "When you're sad we feel sad as well Lucy. Just know we are here for you."

Hands cradled my head as it's brought down to a warm chest. Erza's motherly voice almost whispered into my ear "we only want to help you. You're like a sister to us Lucy, we'd do anything to see you smile again. Whatever is causing you grief we will shield you from it. We'll be your armor and help you through this, but we can't do it if you won't talk to us or trust us enough to tell us." She pulls my face away, a lone tear gliding down her peach skin.

The small hands gripping my arm loosen as one reaches up, swiping away tears turning my attention back to her. Her stern and burning hazel eyes soften, her piercing voice turns a gentle tune. "Please Lucy. Don't run away from us." My soft sobs break, the small wall I tried to build up from them breaking instantly. I desperately reach out to them as the pain floods out. They hold onto me almost scared to let go as we all crumble to the ground. Crying freely as all too willingly I let go and tell them everything.

It felt odd to retell what happened from start to finish, the pain I felt was just as bad to tell it again. I wondered, well more wished that it wouldn't feel like this. How long will it take for me to be able to tell this same tale without the burning pain? I wished time would fly by and I wouldn't feel like this anymore. The stinging sensation and tears that make you feel weak all over again. The bell signalling for class was completely ignored as I told them about Natsu, Rogue saving me and the last encounter I had with Natsu. The pain I felt from the days following the start of school, Loke helping me and feeling scared of facing them all. I had to hold them all back and beg them not to go after Natsu, they reluctantly agreed. Though they wanted to follow a punishment for what he caused. I told him about his reasons and how as much as it hurts I couldn't blame him. It was beyond stupid of the route he took trying to "save me" but oddly enough I still appreciated him. They were upset at the thought that I forgave him so easily but I told them otherwise.

As I looked into each of their eyes I couldn't help but feel like they think differently of me. Shakily I push forth the explanation far better in my own head. "I haven't forgiven him. Anything but that, even though deep down I want to- I can't. He knows that after all we're not even friends anymore." I let out a dry chuckle. "But it's still painful not to be the same anymore. If anything I see it as the push I needed to change. To get stronger." Turning to look into their questioning eyes they smile despite the anger they feel. Glancing back down I played with my tie as the next thing I was about to say would hurt to say but I felt like it needed to be done. Especially if I was going to take this step to move on and start going down this path I set for myself. "What I'm about to say next, I hope you don't think differently of me and just understand what I'm about to say." Determination flowed through me, wavering slightly, but still holding on.

"To move on, to not be stuck I think…" struggling with the words I force them out. "I-I'm going to go alone for a while. I won't be around our friend group till I feel like I'm getting better. Just being around him won't help me and I need to figure out who I am. Who the real Lucy is." The strange judgment of my decision felt off putting. The same looks my father gave me made my blood run as the jolt of anxiety and fear made me want to run again. But I held off knowing our conversation wasn't done, they needed to understand. The thought of my father alone made me try to be obedient but turns me into a helpless girl as I wait for them to turn the same judgement and walk away. Done with me like he was at one time. I knew they weren't like this but my mind rationed out all sense of hope and gave away easily to memory and fear. I shut my eyes ready for the scolding as I tuck my head in prepared for the bashing.

"But Lucy…!" Erza and Levy almost shout at the idea of leaving them behind, but Juvia's hand raises, stopping them.

She smiles sadly at me before placing her hand on top of mine. "Juvia thinks this is a good idea for you Lucy, though Juvia doesn't like the idea of leaving Lucy on her own." She pulls away clutching her shaking hand to herself as she watches me. "Juvia will support you! We won't leave you fully alone, but we'll help guide you through."

Reluctantly Erza and Levy agreed as long as we still stayed in touch. I felt shocked but relieved that they trusted me enough for this. Smiling, I agreed with them, we all hugged and yet again cried for the uptienth time before realizing the time before packing up our belongings. We said our farewells before they cracked a few jokes about a black haired male possibly being a new love interest in the far future, though I brushed it aside. When we exited the school I found a frantic Loke searching for me in front of the gates. I apologized profusely to him before explaining what happened and he almost too instantly let it go.

He pulled me into a hug, kissing my forehead he stated, "I'm proud of you princess. So I take the first day of school wasn't bad?"

Heading down the path back home I had a little more hop into my steps. I still felt like I wasn't moving much but it felt reassuring to have my friends behind me. With a soft smile I turn my gaze to the sky. "I think I'll be fine."

The path ahead I knew was going to be an endless rollercoaster ready to drop any second. The fear of moving forward and getting a chance to change was still evident. I was the real life dummy to a test that life had conjured up for me, but I needed to be ready to step up for the challenge. But to do that I needed to find out who I'm supposed to be.

As we walked down the sidewalk I noticed a figure sitting at the park from the corner of my eye. Turning to get a better look I stopped in my tracks and before heading in the direction of the park I called out to Loke a few steps ahead. "Loke go on ahead without me. I'll message you when I get home!" His calls left unheard as I rushed over to the park a small smile forming at my lips. I needed to tell him.