Chapter 21
She couldn't believe it was over. Exhilarating, terrifyingly wonderful, the show had been a huge success. Rachel laughed as she threw herself into Puck's arms and kissed him. "Let's celebrate!"
"Yeah how you wanna do that?" He grinned down at her, not even phased by the weight of her in his arms as he held her up against his chest.
"Come back to my house?" She smiled.
"Well I dunno, I kind figured me an' Artie'd have a video game marathon," He chuckled teasingly.
"Pretty sure I can top that," Rachel licked her lips and kissed him again, lingering over his mouth. "Noah, I want you to take me to bed." She could feel his reaction to that, the implications of her invitation.
"Rae, you sure about this," He let her slide down his body and cupped her face in his hand, thumb stroking over her cheekbone.
"I'm absolutely sure," She nodded. She hadn't ever been so sure of anything in her life. Being with him was so right.
"Just wondered, lately you been callin' me Puck, an' that ain't like you," He admitted. "Felt like you were working up to dumping me."
"No," Rachel shook her head, "No, come back to the house. We'll talk a bit. I'll explain."
"All right…" He nodded, wrapping his arm around her waist and kissing her firmly on the mouth. "Let's get out of these costumes and then we'll head out."
It was never that simple. Schuester had wanted a quick discussion of the show though Coaches Beiste and Sylvester pretty much shut him down after five minutes saying everyone needed rest and they'd go over everything on Monday during the regular club meeting.
Rachel rolled her eyes as Puck walked her to his truck, "Do you think the man decided to run the club for the power trip or because he just couldn't hear enough of his own voice in Spanish class?"
"Huh," Puck grinned down at her. "Not sure which of those it turned into, but when it started out, y'know, it was like the island of misfit toys. Lots of people didn't fit in anywhere else, but we all fit together pretty good. Lotta drama but still, we made good music."
"Makes you wonder about Invasion of the Body Snatchers being possible," Rachel grinned and kissed him as he helped her up into his truck.
"Pretty sure I'd remember if I saw pods somewhere," He grinned back at her.
Nervous, God was she nervous, but she wanted this. Wanted him. But she still couldn't make herself start talking about it on the ride to her house. And he kept giving her these sideways looks as if he couldn't figure out what was going on.
Of course if he'd misinterpreted what she'd been trying to do by calling him Puck then she couldn't take for granted that he'd figure out what she was trying to say without her spelling it out. Daddy had been right; boys were deeply stupid about feelings. No matter how smart they were.
Inside at last, up in her room, and sitting on her bed, "Noah…I… I know I've been acting oddly. And you know I've been keeping something from you."
"Yeah Rae," He looked at her, those hazel eyes so dark. "Had me pretty worried you know."
"I know that now, and I'm sorry," She took his hand. "I trust you though. But I worry about you too and I was very worried about what you might do if I told you about that secret."
"Okay…" He was studying her, thoughtfully. "There ain't much that'll make me go ballistic anymore, someone hurting you or my family… so I'm guessin' this is a biggie."
She nodded, "It is." His hand, so warm in hers, turned and gripped her palm, wrapping his fingers around her and stroking the skin on the back of her hand, silent support. "I know you have a reputation. That 'Puck' has a reputation. And I wanted Jesse to understand it immediately. That you're my boyfriend. The badass of McKinley."
"All right…" Puck nodded his understanding. "I guess I see that. But why?"
"This is the part that… well I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to get expelled or arrested," Rachel took a deep breath. "So before I tell you, I need you to promise me you won't beat him up. I don't want you to get in trouble. So I'm trusting you to not fly off the handle."
"I promise I will do my absolute best to not lose my temper with him," Puck clearly had the idea that whatever it was, it was nothing good.
"All right," Rachel bit her lip. "Jesse St. James…is the boy who took me to that party."
Red mist. It took everything he had to keep it from descending over his eyes. Remembering that Rachel would be the only target for his anger kept it from overtaking him. "Rae…" He forced himself to take a deep breath. "I need your basement like, right now."
"Of course," She nodded and led him down to the set up with the sandbag. He had to give her credit, she knew what to do. What to say and when to stay quiet while he let go of all that rage and channeled it through his fists. Hot stinging punches to the bag, his anger seeping out of him with each blow, it still took longer than usual. Longer than it ever had before, except once, when he'd lost his daughter.
Finally he sat, rested his forearms on his knees and looked up at his girl, "Okay. So Jesse St. James is the guy who got you drunk and had sex with you. While you couldn't say yes or no or even remember your name. And instead of staying away from you, he follows you to Lima and tries to get you to go out with him again."
"That's it in a nutshell, yes," Rachel nodded. "How are you doing?"
"Probably should be asking you that," Puck observed. "But I'll live. No wonder you didn't want to get left alone with him." He didn't know how he felt really, numb, tired, and still a bit pissed off that the son-of-a-bitch had the nerve to even come near her after what he'd done.
"Dad and Daddy are ready to press charges for statutory rape no matter what I say," Rachel offered quietly. "Because he followed me here."
"I really don't blame 'em," He stared at her for a moment. "And I get why you didn't tell me at first. I don't know that I woulda handled it all that well. But I gotta ask Rae, you got any more secrets? Anything else might make me lose my cool? Because I'd rather get it all out in the open now."
"No," His girl half smiled. "No more secrets. You have them all now Noah."
"Well thank fuck for that," He stood when she did and tugged her close, bending to press his mouth to her lips and groaning at how she felt. "Lemme wash up."
"You can use my shower," Rachel offered. "I'll throw your clothes in the wash and get a pair of Daddy's seats and a t-shirt."
"Thanks," He definitely felt like he needed hot water to wash away the remnants of his rage.
The shower definitely helped. Clean clothes, and Rachel smiling at him when he emerged from the bathroom helped even more. "So what's the second half of the program for the evening," He asked teasingly. "You know I been dying to get my mouth on you Rae."
Fuck she blushed so pretty. "I certainly wouldn't mind that at all," Girl did have a gift for understatement. "I just don't want to stop there."
"So where d'you want to stop," He took a seat on her bed and drew her down next to him as he reclined against the headboard and pillows. He could stay like this for the rest of his life and be perfectly happy.
"I don't want to stop this time," Rachel looked him in the eye and damn that determined look on her face, sexy as fuck. "I want us to go all the way Noah." Soft fingers petting his jaw, "I'm ready. I trust you."
"Rae…" He pulled her closer, took her mouth and groaned. Every fuckin' time, the taste of her would undo him. "You on the pill or am I gonna need to glove up?"
"Pill," Rachel gasped against his mouth as his hands moved over her body. "I didn't want…hmm…anything between us."
Now that was a concept he could get behind. The clothing seriously had to go. Rachel's skirt, stockings, shirt, underwear, the sweats and shirt he wore, all of it on the floor next to the bed. He wondered if he'd ever get used to how her body felt, silky skin and perfect curves, pressed against his.
Her hands were wandering south and he groaned, if she kept on with that this could get embarrassing. Time to distract her, grip that sweet tight ass and drag his mouth down from her lips, over her neck and to her breast, suck on the tip and yeah… Rachel moaned, low and throaty, her hands gripping his shoulders. "Fuck yes," He groaned against her skin and began to move back and forth between her breasts, loving how she writhed and gasped under him.
He could feel how wet she'd gotten, knew it was time to move on downward and began kissing his way across her stomach. Fuck, he loved how her legs tightened and then relaxed, letting him in. Loved the taste of her, how slick she got, sweet and hot under his mouth as he licked and sucked on her clit.
Puck groaned again, held her hips in place as she tried to roll them up to his mouth, and sucked hard, sliding two of his fingers inside her. So damn tight and hot, and she screamed and thrashed wildly under his mouth, soaking his hand as she came.
"Fuck baby," He looked up her body, flushed and panting with pleasure. "I've gotta make you do that again. And come around my dick this time."
"Yes Noah, please," She nodded, frantic and he gave her a wickedly slow smile.
"Gonna be so good Rae," He promised.
If he didn't stop remembering the first time with Rachel he was going to embarrass himself at the dinner table. Leaving her had been one of the hardest things he'd done but he'd promised to make dinner for his mom and Eliana. "Ma, I got homework," He cleared his plate when he was done and kissed her temple, ruffling Eli's hair just because he was the big brother and irking her was his job.
Safe in his room he could relax. And remember how good it had been, watching Rachel go over a second time. He'd had to take it slow. Rae was so damn tiny. She'd been so worked up the second time he'd gone down on her he'd been worried she'd come before he could get inside her. And it'd be easier for her if she was close when she took him.
She'd been nervous too, he could tell, hesitant about what to do, until he'd kissed her. Having her suck on his lips and tongue with her juices still on them had to be one of the sexiest things ever. She'd cradled him between her thighs, hip to hip with him and it had been all he could do to not just push into her.
Rachel had moaned when she'd felt the head of his cock press to her opening, and the heat of her had nearly undone him. "Slow, slow and easy," He promised against her mouth. "Wrap your legs around my hips Rae, you'll open for me, take me in easier."
She trusted him, believed him and had done it, "Noah." Those dark eyes had stared up at him, "Please, don't stop…" She'd squirmed, pressing her body to his cock and he'd groaned, entering her minutely. "Ohh…" Shocked and breathy, her voice nearly crooned in his ear. "Ohh…yes…Noah…"
A little more and she shivered, legs tightening around his hips and drawing him in farther. "Fuck," He groaned and forced himself to hold still and not just plunge into her tight wet heat. "Fuck Rae," Puck gasped and her heels dug into his ass, pushing him deeper.
"Ohh…oh God Noah," That low moan of his name as he slowly slid home, filling her completely, sent a shudder over his skin.
"You feel so good Rachel," Puck groaned and kissed her hungrily. "Tell me when it's okay to move."
"Now," She had the nerve to lift one heel and drum his ass with it to get him going. "Noah, if you don't I…"
"S'okay," He assured her and began to roll his hips to hers, slowly at first and then gaining speed and depth as he pulled out and pressed back into her. So tight, wrapping around him like a fist, and it had been all he could do to not lose his shit. Back and forth, with Rachel moaning under him and trying to meet his thrusts with her hips.
Damned if he'd lose it without making her go over first. And he knew a surefire way to accomplish it. Pull away and roll onto his back, pull her on top of him and help her slide down onto his cock, "Now…" he looked up at her hungrily. "I'll help you ride me, and you play with your clit. Better for you this way."
Oh he'd created a monster. Dancer's legs and muscle control and fuck she'd figured out how to use her kegal muscles in a hurry. But she was panting and moaning and then gasping out his name in a near scream of ecstasy twice before he finally lost control and ground up into her, coming like a freight train.
He'd had about five minutes to hold her, another five to help her clean up before she insisted he fuck her in the traditional missionary style. Damn he'd just about died when she informed him that she had to practice if she was going to be as good at this as he was.
"You're already perfect baby," He'd kissed her. "And I don't want you practicing with anybody but me. Okay?" It had been the first time he'd brought up monogamy while he'd been fucking someone but Rae pretty much set records for making him a better person.
"You're the only one I want to practice with," Rachel assured him.
That had been fucking good to hear.
And he'd better get going on his homework before he spent the whole damn night daydreaming and jerking off.
"I still don't believe it," Rachel shook her head again as they walked to the choir room. "They had to know they'd get found out eventually. And how long has it been going on? They've won Nationals for how many years now?"
"At least three," Puck shrugged. "Guess they'll invalidate those trophies depending on what they find."
"It's ridiculous no one found out before this," Rachel rolled her eyes. "And now we're scrambling for a set list. Again!"
"Meh, that we're kinda used to by now," Puck grinned at her.
She sighed, "I still find this completely ridiculous." When her boyfriend simply shrugged she elaborated, "First you have infighting between the Cheerios, the Football team and the Glee club. Some of that resolved, then you have personal drama between the Coaches and teachers. And when that's not at a peak, Glee club has sabotage from other clubs at rival schools. And that completely ignores the rampant bullying that goes on in the halls. This entire school is like a soap opera on steroids."
Puck couldn't reply he was laughing so hard. After a minute or so of gasping and trying to catch his breath he caught her eye and nearly started off again. David wandered up and joined her staring at him, "Uh, what's his malfunction?"
"I told him the school was like a soap opera on steroids," Rachel shrugged.
David snorted a laugh and nodded, "Well you ain't wrong. Coach Beiste said for me to grab you two. We've got a meeting in the choir room. Some new…" He smirked at Puck, "Crisis that we gotta resolve."
That just sent Puck howling with laughter again and David rolled his eyes, grabbing the boy by the elbow, "C'mon Puck, can't wait around all day while you have hysterics."
"Thankfully you're larger than he is, marginally," She smiled as the two of them began to manhandle Puck towards the choir room.
His good humor fell off his face like a stone when the three of them got a look at the person standing by the piano. "What'n the fuck is he doing here," Puck's voice had lowered to a near growl and he'd conspicuously stood in front of her.
"Take a seat," Coach Sue instructed and Rachel slipped her hand into Puck's and with David's help guided her boyfriend to a chair. David had no idea why Puck suddenly hated Jesse with the fiery passion of a thousand suns, as opposed to the mere dislike of a single solar system, but the big linebacker did manage to keep himself between Puck and Jesse.
Mike and Artie leaned over while Tina took a seat on the other side of them, "What'n the hell?" Artie muttered as he glanced over at Jesse. "Why's he here?"
"Nothing good," Mike opined and Rachel and Tina nodded their agreement.
"Where's Schuester," Santana asked the Cheerios Coach as she and the other two cheerleaders filed in along with Blaine, AZ, Mercedes and Kurt.
"He's in with Principal Figgins," Coach Beiste entered the room and shut the door behind her. "Before he comes back, we wanted you all to vote. Jesse wants to come back to New Directions."
"Strict yea or nay," Coach Sue told them.
"No," Rachel shook her head and half smiled as more than half of the room agreed immediately. The rest of the kids took a moment to absorb the question but for once, the entire group was united by something besides music.
"Why would we let him back in," Artie looked and sounded incredulous. "He abandoned us for Vocal Adrenaline. He made his bed, let him lie in it."
"Told you," Coach Beiste chuckled. "Pay up." Grumbling Coach Sylvester handed her a five dollar bill and the football coach looked at Jesse. "You heard them, you're out of here."
"And don't come back," Puck added with a glint in his eye that boded ill for Jesse's face and ribs if her boyfriend saw Jesse St. James again.
"No one wants you here," Rachel added coldly. "At all."
"Yeah, time for you to go," Santana shooed him away with a flip of her fingers and directed her attention to the coaches. "So now we need a set list for Nationals."
"That we do," Schuester came in the room and gestured to the risers. "Jesse, if you'll take a seat we can—"
"William, have the chemicals from your perm addled your brain?" Coach Sue cut him off, "St. James is out. The group voted. They don't want a team member who just dumped them when he saw something he thought was better."
Coach Beiste nodded, "He's been instructed to leave."
"This is Rachel Berry's influence," Mr. Schuester did love to assign blame.
"While I dislike him and made no secret of it, I have only one vote. I didn't campaign for this, we all made the choice." She looked around, "I think it took all of two minutes for a unanimous decision."
"And I'm trying to figure out why he's still here," Azimio added.
"This is Glee, everyone is welcome," The Spanish teacher persisted.
"Not if the rest of the club votes them out," Quinn spoke up. "He tries to take over rehearsals, insists he has the best voice, irritates everyone and he abandoned us when we lost Regionals. If he'd wanted to be part of the group, and not just using us as a means to an end, it would be different."
"He made his opinion of us pretty clear," Blaine agreed.
"Word," Mike concurred.
"So he's out," Tina's voice was quiet but firm. "You can't make us work with him Mr. Schuester."
Of course that hadn't been the end of it. Schuester had gotten Principal Figgins involved. Jesse had made a few cracks designed to get under her skin and only succeeded in annoying everyone around him even more than his mere presence did.
Rachel had sent her dads a discreet text and they'd turned up at the school demanding a meeting with the principal. Thankfully they kept it private but now there were tons of rumors and speculation on what her parents had to say that would get St. James sent back to Carmel with his tail between his legs.
They told her that night after Sam had gone up to bed that they were going to press charges against Jesse for what he'd done to her. The only reason they'd held back was for her but now that he was practically stalking her there was no way they were going to let him run loose anywhere in the vicinity.
She and her dads had a very long talk about what Jesse had done and was doing now. They'd heard about the rumors he'd been spreading, knew about his attempts to speak with her privately, and as far as they'd been concerned all of that was the last straw.
Embarrassing as it was for her, that how naïve and foolish she'd been would be aired in a courtroom, Dad and Daddy had pointed out that if they didn't press charges the statute of limitations could expire and who knew how many other girls had been taken advantage of in the same way. They'd decided that no matter what she said, as her parents they would be making sure Jesse was charged with the crime. In the same way that she couldn't have given actual consent at fourteen, her dads didn't need her permission to press charges.
So she didn't have much choice in the matter. At least the records would be sealed since she was still a juvenile. Eventually Sam would find out, but not before Jesse was gone. So at least he couldn't go ballistic and mess up his own permanent record.
She had told Puck about the whole thing and what her dads had decided and she'd never seen him look so relieved. "Been pretty much tiring myself out or sitting on my hands trying to not deck him since you told me who he was," He confessed. "Be good to have him away so I can't even entertain the possibility of getting my hands on him." Puck had kissed her gently, "I'm glad you told me, glad you trusted me with it, and trusted me to not go crazy, but it wasn't easy to keep my cool."
Of course the gossips in Glee Club couldn't keep their questions to themselves, prodding and poking at her as to why her parents would have any more pull over the situation than theirs. Kurt and Mercedes were the worst, though everyone had been openly curious.
Finally Rachel had to tell them that it had to do with something that had happened at ChiArts. It had the benefit of being true without it being the complete truth. And Puck had glared everyone else into silence. And he'd reminded them very pointedly that none of their questions had anything to do with a set list, which they still didn't have.
That pretty much got everyone back on track. So they were back to throwing ideas around. "Could do some of the songs from the show," Mike suggested. "We killed on some of those numbers."
"Yeah, but we've rehearsed them to death…" Artie disagreed.
"Yeah, we want something that sounds fresh," Blaine nodded as he paged through one of the books of sheet music.
"Well we did Rocketman for the show," Tina smiled at her boyfriend. "But we didn't do any other Elton John songs."
"Yeah, we didn't have the time to do a ton of new numbers," Brittany had decided to sit behind Santana and was playing with her hair.
"So what about doing Elton John then," Blaine was dogearing pages of the book. "Rocketman was cool, because Mike did it differently. We could do something like that with another song."
"Rachel," Artie looked at her expectantly. "Got anything in your brain book?"
"Yeah, a few things," She nodded and pulled it out of her bag, conscious of Puck's grin as she did so. He had the weirdest taste, thinking she was so cool because of this crazy book and all her ideas.
"We talked about Sad Songs…" Puck remembered. "And we were throwing around stuff from the Lion King…"
"Oh the other one was I'm Still Standing," Rachel found the relevant page. "Have any of you ever looked at the lyrics to that song? It's… It's really not exactly happy. That would lend itself to a similar feel as Rocketman. Slow at first… and then we could speed it up. Go into Sad Songs from there."
"Try it out Rae," Puck encouraged her. "You've got the piano, if we can figure this out before the teachers get here, we've got half the work done."
"You all agree on this," Rachel looked at the rest of the club.
"Not gonna agree until we hear it, but it sounds like a good idea," Santana spoke up and Quinn nodded her agreement.
"All right," Rachel got up and went to the piano.
He felt like rubbing his hands together a la an old cartoon villain. Damn this was gonna rock, nobody sang like Rachel.
She put the music on the rack and looked it over for a moment before picking out the tune, almost sparse without any of the accompaniment. Her voice began softly, almost tentative, "You could never know what it's like
Your blood like winter freezes just like ice
And there's a cold lonely light that shines from you
You'll wind up like the wreck you hide behind that mask you use…"
She continued, her voice stronger, as if gaining confidence, "And did you think this fool could never win
Well look at me, I'm coming back again
I got a taste of love in a simple way
And if you need to know while I'm still standing you just fade away
Don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I'm still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind!"
By the last line her voice sounded damn near challenging and the next two lines began to pick up the tempo of the song. "I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah
I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah…"
He grinned as her fingers began to fly over the keys, adding the harmonies and her words picked up speed, filled with life, "Once I never could hope to win
You starting down the road leaving me again."
He couldn't help himself, jumping in with her on the third line, and adding his voice, "The threats you made were meant to cut me down
And if our love was just a circus you'd be a clown by now!
You know I'm still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I'm still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind
I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah
I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah
Don't you know I'm still standing better than I ever did
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a little kid
I'm still standing after all this time
Picking up the pieces of my life without you on my mind
I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah
I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah
I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah
I'm still standing yeah yeah yeah!"
Rachel grinned up at him as they finished, "Sooo…something like that." She looked over at the rest of the group. "Obviously it's rough, but with more of us it should sound a lot smoother."
"Berry," Coach Sue had come in with the other two adults. "Sounds like you've been busy. Got anything else?"
"We were thinking that'd be a good middle number," Artie rolled forward and handed Puck the sheet music. "And Sad Songs is nice and upbeat for the finale."
"And the opening?" Schuester had a sour look on his face.
"Figured we'd vote on who gets the solo for the ballad," Mike offered. "Though if we're going on past experience, we oughta just give it to Rachel right away."
"That wouldn't be fair! Hey!" Puck rolled his eyes as Kurt and Mercedes objected. Like he hadn't seen that coming a mile away.
"Which is why we vote," Coach Beiste reminded them. "Do you have some ideas for a song?"
"Gee, Elton John ballads… let's think…" Santana drawled sarcastically. "Those'll be hard to find."
"Santana, your sarcasm, while noted and appreciated, is unnecessary," Coach Sue drawled back with a half grin.
Puck chuckled, "So we rehearse Still Standing and Sad Songs, while everybody hunts down the ballad and tries out for a solo. Least we'll be productive."
"That works for me," Quinn nodded firmly. She looked at Brittany, "You, Rachel and Mike okay to do the choreography with Coach Sue?"
"Sure," Britt looked over at Rachel and Puck smiled. The girl acted spacy but she had more going on upstairs than most people gave her credit for. "Something…dreamy for the first part of the song?"
Rachel rose from the piano and kissed his cheek before she headed over to confer with her co-horts, "That's a really good idea… if we start out slow, like mourning…and then speed up with the song? We should watch the video too, it had some really clownish stuff but it was so lighthearted, we could borrow some of the moves."
Puck watched as Mike did the classic leaning on a cane and kicking up his feet thing, "Oh yeah, we could definitely work that in. Audience would recognize it and like it, remind them of the original but we make it ours."
"Good thinking," Sue praised them. "First half of rehearsals, choreography while we warm up voices. Second half, song work. Work on the ballads in your own time and be ready with them in a week. We're in a time crunch people."
"See me or Mr. Schuester for free period assignments," Coach Beiste ordered. "We need to organize costumes, travel arrangements, all sorts of minutia and we can't do it alone."
Puck nodded and looked at Artie, "You wanna give that bus company a call? Same one we used last year for the state competition? They were good with the chair lift and everybody could sleep on the bus on the way there."
"Not as fast as a plane but we aren't exactly headed to New York," Artie agreed. "We can handle a bus ride to Chicago."
"It would be cheaper than plane tickets," Schuester actually agreed with them for once. "And we wouldn't risk the luggage with all the instruments and costumes getting lost."
"You two do that then," Coach Beiste agreed. "Let us know if they can't do it, we'll have to hunt up another company if they don't give us a referral."
"We're on it Coach," Puck grinned. "We're so going to rock Nationals."
Rachel was messing around at the piano again when the rehearsal broke up for the day. And she didn't seem inclined to move from her spot at the moment. "Hey Rae, what's up?" He took a seat beside her on the bench and smiled when she leaned against his side.
"Just thinking a bit, about what happens after Nationals. School will be almost over," She murmured. "Next year I'll be at Julliard. And for the first time I'm not looking forward to it."
"Rae that's insane. Why wouldn't you look forward to Julliard," Puck stared down at her in shock. "You've been working towards it since you were…well toddling around from what your dads say."
"Because…well because you won't be there with me," Rachel looked up at him.
Fuck, the balls on this girl. Puck took a deep breath, "Just because I won't be at Julliard doesn't mean I won't be in New York you know." Hell if she could say it so could he, "I don't like thinkin' of my life without you in it somehow Rae. So I'll get to New York if I have to hitchhike."
"You've applied to schools," Those eyes, bright and hopeful looking up at him. He'd never lied to her and he wasn't going to start now. "Yeah, haven't heard back yet. But I applied for scholarships, NYU, Columbia, damn near every college in the city, including Julliard." He shrugged, "Don't think I'll get into Julliard but I figured hey give it a shot you know?"
"Noah…that makes me…" She pulled his face down to hers and kissed him, hot and sweet and exuberant.
"Hell Rae, if I'd known it was gonna make you this happy I'd've told you when I applied," Puck grinned. "Now, you wanna get out of here?"
"I've got something to sing for you," Rachel smiled and put her hands back on the piano keys. "It really seems to fit you, and how I feel about you baby."
Well he doubted she was gonna sing some breakup song, not after a kiss like that, so this should be the icing on the cake, "You know I always love to hear you sing."
He recognized the opening, they'd talked about the song back when they'd been coming up with a setlist for regionals. He knew the Eagles had written it, Linda Ronstadt had sung one version, but nothing compared to Rachel's voice, silky and mournful, floating through the air, "Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
You been out ridin' fences for so long now
Oh, you're a hard one
But I know that you got your reasons
These things that are pleasin' you
Can hurt you somehow
Don't you draw the Queen of Diamonds, boy
She'll beat you if she's able
You know the Queen of Hearts is always your best bet
Now, it seems to me some fine things
Have been laid upon your table
But you only want the ones that you can't get
Desperado, oh, you ain't gettin' no younger
Your pain and your hunger, they're drivin' you home
And freedom, oh freedom, well that's just some people talkin'
Your prison is walking through this world all alone…"
God, the pain in her voice, he felt it like an ache in his bones, the loneliness and damn she'd been right. Before he met her, this song would've described him to a T. Thank fucking God for Rachel because what juvie had started, she'd finished. For her, he wanted to grow up. For her, he wanted to be better. Be the man she deserved.
"Don't your feet get cold in the winter time?
The sky won't snow and the sun won't shine
It's hard to tell the night time from the day
You're losin' all your highs and lows
Ain't it funny how the feeling goes away?"
Yeah it did, all the shit he'd pulled, trying to forget the crapfest that had been his life before he'd gotten straightened out… That was the nature of addiction, of chasing that high, that adrenaline rush, it took more and more to satisfy and in the end, he was left hollow and alone all over again.
"Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?
Come down from your fences, open the gate
It may be rainin', but there's a rainbow above you
You better let somebody love you (let somebody love you)
You better let somebody love you
Before it's too late…"
How she could hit a high note like that and still sound so sad… she'd kill at Julliard and he couldn't wait to see it. "Fuck Rae," His voice was hoarse and he knew he sounded like he was (almost goddamnit) crying but damn… "We shoulda done the Eagles for regionals. That'll tear out hearts."
"Too late," She smiled up at him, "I love you Noah Puckerman. I don't ever want you to feel alone again."
He kissed her, didn't have the words, she'd stolen his voice with that declaration, and all he could do was show her how he felt.
He hadn't said it back, Rachel sighed. But she really couldn't expect him to, not right away. If she'd learned one thing about Puck it was that he needed to do things in his own time, his own way. Pushing wouldn't help and teasing about something this important would make him think she hadn't been serious.
Glee club was a good distraction. The arrangements for Still Standing and Sad Songs were coming along nicely. And she'd found a song for the solo. They'd all agreed it would be a good ballad, sweet but still uplifting. So they'd hold the auditions in a few more days and then they could really finalize the rest.
Glee had taken over the auditorium pretty much, needing the stage for the choreography and thankfully Principal Figgins had given his permission, otherwise they'd be competing with the other clubs for space. She wouldn't have thought that would be a problem, but apparently the chess club would set up sometimes if their usual room got taken over.
"Okay, I think we're about ready for the run through," Schuester called and everyone hurried into their places from their individual practices.
Rachel grinned, Artie had the perfect voice, with Blaine and Mike backing him, Puck, AZ and David harmonizing the first verse… Artie had the hardest life, but he always managed to sound upbeat. "Guess there are times when we all need to share a little pain
And ironing out the rough spots
Is the hardest part when memories remain
And it's times like these when we all need to hear the radio
'Cause from the lips of some old singer
We can share the troubles we already know…"
Kurt, Santana and Quinn came in on the chorus, with the rest of them harmonizing softly in the background, working the overlapping lines, giving the music a bright feel without sounding too overwhelming. "Turn 'em on, turn 'em on
Turn on those sad songs
When all hope is gone
Why don't you tune in and turn them on
They reach into your room, oh oh oh
Just feel their gentle touch (gentle touch)
When all hope is gone
Sad songs say so much…"
Mercedes and Kurt had the beginning of the next verse and she'd be lying if she said it was the perfect choice, but they'd had an unholy fit about not being guaranteed solos and everyone had agreed to let them have it. For two lines they managed to not be pitchy and over-emote. "If someone else is suffering enough oh to write it down
When every single word makes sense
Then it's easier to have those songs around."
The it was her turn, she and Santana, with Tina throwing in on the last line, "The kick inside is in the line that finally gets to you
And it feels so good to hurt so bad
And suffer just enough to sing the blues…"
They'd agreed to take turns, groups that sounded best together, singing the lines back and forth, alternating and overlapping, the repeating chorus at the end. It could use some polish but they were getting there, "So turn 'em on, turn 'em on
Turn on those sad songs
When all hope is gone
Why don't you tune in and turn them on
They reach into your room, oh oh oh
Just feel their gentle touch (gentle touch)
When all hope is gone
You know sad songs say so much
Sad songs, they say
Sad songs, they say
Sad songs, they say
Sad songs, they say so much
So, turn 'em on, (turn 'em on), turn 'em on, (turn 'em on)
Turn on those sad songs
When all hope is gone
Why don't you tune in and turn them on
They reach into your room, oh oh oh
Just feel their gentle touch (gentle touch)
When all hope is gone
You know sad songs say so much
When all hope is gone
You know sad songs say so much
When every little bit of hope is gone
Sad songs say so much
When every little bit of hope is gone
Sad songs say so much
When all hope is gone
Sad songs say so much…"
"Damn, that sounds good," AZ fist-pumped as the last note died away.
"Still needs some work but we're really close I think," Tina had a good critical ear. Rachel nodded her agreement.
"We're still a little rough on the final choruses, need to sharpen them up some," She looked at the Cheerios. "You three sing great as a group, maybe we rearrange some?"
"We'll work on it tomorrow," Coach Sue ordered. "Everybody drink water, we've got other things to work on."
"Like homework," Mike groaned. "My dad's gonna kill me if I get another Asian F."
"I can give you a hand with math," Puck offered.
"It's hardly basic arithmetic," Kurt scoffed. "What help would you be?"
"I know that Noah enjoys a certain reputation," Rachel rolled her eyes at the boy. "But he does happen to be in the same class as Mike. And he's hardly flunking out either."
"I'd appreciate it man," Mike nodded his thanks.
"All right, tomorrow, same time, same place, free periods, those with individual assignments report to the Cheerios office with the status of your work," Sue ordered. "Now scatter people, I've got other things to do."
When Sue talked like that no one argued.
Author's Note: So last chapter some soul who wished to remain anonymous said that a chapter full of lyrics wasn't really a chapter. Sorry, but I was just glad to be writing again and out of my rut of analysis paralysis. This has more 'story' than song lyrics, and hopefully no one will be so offended again.
But honestly, if you don't like it, you don't have to read. I'm not abandoning the story because I promised I wouldn't. But I'm not super hyped up about writing Glee fanfiction anymore either. Not huge long over 200 page count and over 100k words anyway.
That being said I'm hoping to have it finished up soon. Maybe one or two more chapters? So I hope you enjoyed this one more than the last.
