Disclaimer: I don't own Owari no Seraph, its plot or characters, or any other mentioned books, songs, or series. They belong to their respective owners. I only own my OCs and the plot that deviates from canon or doesn't exist in canon. This is a non-profit fan fiction just for fun.


To SpiceyFez: I agree :D

To Crysnell: Sorry, it just happened that way~. You might be onto something there ;)

To legendaryNOT: Right? Find out in this chapter!

To NguyetMieu: Hiya! Glad you enjoyed the history lesson, lol. Aww, but Crowley's pecs need air? xD And yes, if she finds out Guren basically started the apocalypse, Vivian won't be happy about it to say the least. Future bride... hehe. Sorry... Maybe I was feeling a little sadistic when I wrote these chapters, haha.

To my guest reviewer from Jan 20: Hmm, the Nagoya arc is still many chapters away, so I can't tell you too much about it or I would spoil the plot. However, you might get an idea about the future after reading the next chapters since Vivian and Shinya's relationship will be explored, as well as what they are going to do from now on.

To P1anoman2019: Cosnidering Crowley's attitude towards Guren and co. when they make plans to defeat Ky Luc I guessed that he might not be opposed to playing games with humans, especially when he is bored :D I'm happy you liked the chapter!

To RokenDarkly: I like your enthusiasm xD

To Epicfani: I don't know any Portuguese, so I'm unable to reply to you in your language, but thankfully we live in the 21st century and have the internet~. Ah yes, the horrors of discovering that there is no 'next' button when you've reached the end of the chapter... That's every reader's nightmare. I'm glad that you came across my story while story-hunting and enjoy my writing! The long-awaited meeting between Shinya and Vivian finally commences in this chapter :D It's definitely going to be emotional. I'm happy to hear that you also like my Vampire Knight fanfic Where The Flowers Bloom, and thanks for the praise!

To DesolateSun: Ikr? Sorry it just happened that way xD

To my guest reviewer from Feb 3: I don't know if you've already read everything up to this chapter, but I'm glad I could somehow make you interested in my story even if you never heard of the anime or manga Owari no Seraph/ Seraph of the End before! I can recommend it :D

Charlotte M Baldonado: I'm glad you like where this is going! Thank you so much for your constant support :) ! Concerning the Crowley xTimetravellerOC story, I've only written a few chapters of that story up to now, because I need to do a lot of research for it to make it as historically accurate as possible. It takes place in the 13th century after all. I'm also busy with other stories/things at the moment, so it's probably going to take a while until I upload it since I also want to have at least ten chapters before I start with uploading. Sorry :(

A/N: Sorry for the wait, but I had several completely different versions of this chapter because I just wasn't satisfied with what I'd written. I hope you like this final version!


Chapter 19 – Confrontation

My heart overflew with emotions at the sight of my childhood friend Shinya. For a moment it almost felt as if it was beating again, as if I was human again.

Relief, shock, excitement, joy, longing mixed with anxiety... Emotions that were usually so faint overcame me, as if the blanket of apathy that was covering them when I wasn't around Mika or Krul was suddenly lifted.

I took a few deep breaths to try and calm myself while I drank him in with my enhanced vision, my sword still in my grip at my side.

Shinya's features had matured and he was taller and broader than in my memory as he stood up. The hair on the left side of his head, that was still distinctively white, was brushed back, which suited him quite well.

Begrudgingly, I had to admit that he also looked really good in that hateful uniform. My childhood friend had grown up into a handsome young man in the past four years and wasn't a teen boy anymore. And above all, he looked perfectly healthy.

It was a huge relief to confirm with my own eyes that he was alright. Kureto didn't suspect that Shinya might have had a hand in my escape from the research facility then. To this day I still didn't know who had helped me escape.

Even though Shinya was wearing the JIDA's uniform, I was certain that I could still trust him. No, I wanted to trust him, no matter what. It didn't matter to me that he was wearing that uniform as long as I got him back.

In addition, it was possible that Shinya was still aiming to destroy the Hiiragi, the leaders of the Demon Army, from within and was simply pretending to be on their side for this reason. I refused to believe that he was on their side, that he was one of them for real.

My friend didn't seem to recognize me, but that wasn't surprising, because I was wearing the hood to hide my face and was standing in the shadow of a building. Anxiously, I wondered whether he would even recognize me now if I pushed it back.

I wasn't the same person I'd been over four years ago. I wasn't even human anymore.

I clenched my teeth and felt the two ever-present, sharp fangs protruding from my upper jaw. They were the irrefutable proof of what I was. The crimson eyes and pointed ears were very noticeable, too.

Shinya would see right away what I'd turned into if he saw me in the light.

What would he think about me?

Unbidden, Ferid's words flashed through my mind and spurred on my own fears and doubts. The very thought that Shinya could reject me and might never want to see me again me because I'd become a vampire was unbearable.

He'd been one of the reasons why I held on for so long during my captivity, why I'd chosen to become a vampire and stay alive.

First and foremost I'd accepted Krul's offer in order to see Shinya and my friends again.

I'd missed him dearly over the past years, and there hadn't been a day when I didn't think of him. I wanted to speak to him so badly.

But now I wasn't sure what to do.

When I agreed to become a vampire, I'd hoped that this day would come. I'd been aware that my decision would have consequences, and that my friend might not accept me like this even if it had been the only way to see him again.

It didn't make this any easier, though.

I didn't dare to hope that Shinya would be as accepting as Yū'd been with Mika in the series. Maybe he'd prefer me dead over being a vampire – the enemy of humanity he killed on a daily basis.

But I couldn't run from this. I would only find out what Shinya thought about me and my choices if I spoke to him.

I'd learned from that debacle with Mika that avoidance wouldn't solve my problems, it would only make them bigger. And who knew when I would meet Shinya again?

Maybe the circumstances would be even worse the next time. Reuniting on the battlefield a lá MikaYū could certainly go very wrong.

Even if I feared my friend's reaction, his rejection, I couldn't throw this rare opportunity away. Not everyone had the chance to see their loved ones again in this kind of world, so I should be grateful for this small miracle and seize this chance.

There was no escaping from what I was anyway. My vampirism wouldn't go away, no matter what I did or how long I waited and hid myself.

For a second I was concerned about hurting my human friend somehow because of my vampiric nature, put I pushed that unsettling thought back into a corner of my mind. I had learned to control my ever-present desire for blood.

I'd rather get hurt myself than hurt any of my human friends. I swore to myself that I would keep my vampiric instincts in check around them, no matter what.

My friends would never see this ugly new side of me if I could help it.

My internal conflict didn't last more than a few seconds even though it felt a lot longer.

Thankfully, Shinya didn't try to shoot at me again in that time frame. He was probably waiting for a reaction from me to decide how to proceed after realising that I was able to deflect his attacks.

I would have jumped up the roof to him if he'd been alone, but, unfortunately, there were more humans on the rooftop, which complicated things. There were three young women and two men around Shinya's age up there. They were wearing the uniform of the Demon Army, too.

All of them were oddly familiar, especially the guy with black hair and the woman with the brown, braided hair.

Oh! I'd seen them in the series. I was pretty sure that the guy with dark hair was called Guren and the girl was... Sayori? Sayuri?

Guren had been kind of important in the Owari no Seraph series because he'd adopted Yū, had been some kind of commander, and had let Yū and the others undergo the test for the cursed gear. And Sayuri had been Yū's teacher.

This whole group had participated in the battle in Shinjuku in the anime.

Was this Shinya's squad? His other human friends I had never met?

These circumstances were less than ideal, but they were probably as good as they would get. Any human would be foolish if they walked around all alone when there were vampires and Horsemen in the area, and Shinya was definitely no fool.

The question was how I could separate him from his squad in order to have a private conversation with my friend. Pushing back my hood and revealing myself might be a quick way to find out how Shinya would react to the new me, but I doubted that it would go down well with him.

Maybe I was just delaying the inevitable, but I wanted to reveal myself in another setting.

After one more long look at Shinya I slipped into a side alley and out of his sight.


"Looks like it got scared and fled," Shinya said once the vampire was gone and lowered his cursed gear, Byakkomaru.

"We should change our position. Who knows if the bloodsucker will return. I'd rather not get ambushed by that one," Guren remarked before he entered the stairwell of the building, him being in front of the group with Shinya, the only other Black Demon Series wielder of the group.

It was a defensive formation with the two strongest fighters placed in the front and the quartet in the back supporting them. This formation was meant to ensure the survival of every one of them.

"If it was powerful enough to notice and deflect Lord Shinya's attacks, then it's possible that it was a vampire noble," Shigure spoke up as they descended the stairs.

"Exactly," Guren agreed.

All of them had automatically moved into this defensive formation upon realising this. No words had needed to be exchanged because they'd been a team for so long and were perfectly in tune.

"Aren't we a lucky bunch?" Shinya said dryly, being of the same opinion.

It was unsettling that the vampire was fast enough to evade his shot just in time, and that it was able to defend itself against Byakkomaru's attacks. It had worn the common vampire uniform for females, but it was too powerful to be a common vampire. Shinya was sure that it had also wielded a first-class weapon.

"Yikes," Goshi commented. "What's a vampire noble doing this close to Shinjuku?"

"An intelligent question for once," Mito said, making Goshi clutch his heart as if he'd been hit.

"Ouch, Mito-chan. You hurt my feelings."

"As if," the young woman scoffed.

"Maybe it was spying?" Sayuri offered.

"I think so, too. I'm certain it was the same vampire that I've seen a few weeks ago," Shinya agreed.

It had been a Friday back then, too. Somehow he doubted that it was a coincidence. "It looked like it was observing the soldiers that were stationed close to Vivi-chan's apartment or the apartment building itself," he informed his friends.

Shinya hadn't shot the vampire on sight that time because he'd wanted to see what it would do. The bloodsucker seemed to have been observing the soldiers and Vivian's place this time as well, in addition to surveying the whole area, as if it was searching for something, or... someone.

The question was why.

Why would a vampire that was most likely capable of dispatching that group of normal soldiers not do so and watch them instead? Was it waiting for something?

Did it know something about Vivi-chan? Was it searching for her and keeping a low profile for that reason?

Shinya furrowed his brows. He was speculating too much. He should rather look at the facts.

Out of all days of the week it could show up, the creature had come by on Fridays, the day he'd mentioned he would be there in the message he'd left at Vivian's place. Which meant that the vampire could have read it somehow, and it could mean that it was aiming for Shinya specifically for some reason.

However, he was certain that he hadn't written his name on the note, so it couldn't know that Shinya was the one who had written it.

What was the vampire trying to do? Did it have a connection to his friend?

Shinya wondered how Vivian could be involved with the vampires and the Demon Army, but the puzzle pieces didn't fit together. He lacked information.

"First the Imperial Demon Army took an interest in your friend, and now even the vampires seem to be involved somehow... What did that girl get herself into?" Goshi mused, thinking along the same lines as Shinya.

Concern and worry were reflected in Shinya's eyes and his expression was unusually serious when he replied. "I'd like to know that, too."

Guren remained silent.


The squad of friends was moving swiftly through the dilapidated streets with their guard up and their senses on high alert in case the vampire from earlier was still around or had called for reinforcements.

Goshi had created an illusionary spell that hid them from sight, but a powerful vampire noble might not be fooled by it and notice them.

Because of this it came as a surprise when a golfball-sized thing was thrown in their way. The group evaded it in case it was something like a grenade and waited for the blast.

"Shit!" Guren cursed.

"What the hell was that?!" Norito yelled when nothing happened.

Each member of the group got into defensive positions and eyed their surroundings to find the person that had thrown the harmless projectile, but Shigure noticed something strange about it. There was something attached to it.

The projectile itself seemed to be nothing more than a stone. A folded piece of paper was wrapped around it with some light golden yarn.

No, that wasn't yarn. It was human hair.

"Lord Shinya, Master Guren... there seems to be a message attached to it," she spoke up.

"Huh?" Guren was the first one to eye the object in question after Shigure's comment.

Shinya's eyes widened when he saw what was wrapped around the thing that had startled them.

That shade of blonde... Was that a lock of Vivian's hair?

He bent down and reached for the stone, but Guren held him back by his arm. "It could be a trap."

"I think that's a strand of Vivian's hair," he said, being a little creeped out and worried by that observation.

"What? Why would someone cut their hair off like that?" Mito wondered. She was proud of her own long red hair and would never want to part with it.

"Maybe she wanted to ensure that I knew this is from her." Shinya had stared at her hair often enough to recognize it.

"Or...this could be a trap," Guren repeated in a deadpan.

"No matter what it is, it's definitely creepy," Goshi said while fiddling with the goatee he had grown since the year before.

"Well, I'm willing to risk it. Let go of my arm, Guren." Shinya gave his dark-haired friend a stern look.

"..." Guren hesitated for a moment longer before he let go. "Fine, do what you want."

Shinya picked up the stone and removed the golden strand of slightly wavy hair. Yeah, that was definitely Vivian's, he had no doubts about it. He opened the folded piece of paper that had been attached to the stone with the hair strand.

Goshi's spell was still active, so the group wasn't in immediate danger, but his friends watched out for him nevertheless while he was reading the message.

It was Vivian's familiar handwriting that greeted him when he opened the note.

At the thought that his lost friend might be in the area hope and immense relief welled up in him. Vivian was alive and she was here. Years of fruitlessly searching and worrying for her had gone by, but now Shinya might finally see her again.

Or was he being too optimistic? There was something strange about her actions and this whole situation.

Why would Vivian turn this into a game of hide and seek? If she had spotted Shinya, why didn't she just come out and march up to him to give him one of her heartfelt hugs?

And how had she seen Shinya in the first place and knew where to throw the stone when he was hidden by Goshi's illusionary spell? Why didn't she reveal herself?

He wondered if she was concerned about Shinya's friends because they were wearing the uniform of the Demon Army.

Was his theory about her involvement with the Demon Army right? Were they hunting her down for some reason?

Shinya began to read the note in search for answers.

Shinya...

I'm not sure where to begin, because there is so much I want to tell you. I'm beyond relieved to see that you are fine. Not a day has gone by that I haven't been thinking of you – I've missed you dork more than you can imagine. A lot has happened in the past four and a half years... Most of it was bad. Really, really bad, and the Japanese Imperial Demon Army was involved.

I'll explain everything in person at a more secure place and in private, so please don't try to search for me in this area. I won't show myself. I suspect that the humans who are accompanying you might be the friends you've told me about in the past, but I don't trust them. I want to talk to you one-on-one.

Sorry for being wary, paranoid and super cautious, but I doubt that anyone but you can understand my situation.

I'll be waiting for you inside this book store at the following address.

Lots of love,

Vivian

P.S.: Sorry about the creepy hair wrapping, but I thought that way you would know that the message was from me even before opening it.

Well, Shinya certainly did.

There was a doddle of a cartoon owl at the end of the message, and next to it was something that could be... a cat?

A cat with stripes. Ah, was that supposed to be Shiro, the white plush tiger Vivian had gifted him in the past?

Like always, his friend couldn't draw anything but owls. Shinya couldn't help but smile until he read the last line.

P.P.S.: Please... don't hate me.

He furrowed his brows in confusion and worry. Why would Vivian think that Shinya would hate her? Had the Demon Army done something to her, changed her in a way? Or did she have to do something horrible to escape from their clutches?

'I'll only get my answers if I talk to her,' he concluded. 'She must have her reasons for wanting to meet me at a different location in private. Out here in the open is really not the best place to have a serious private conversation anyway, especially if she is being hunted by the Demon Army.'

Even if her message and they way how it was delivered to him were a little dubious, it was definitely from Vivian.

Shinya decided to trust her because his oldest friend had never failed him or betrayed his trust and he wanted to believe in Vivian. He couldn't help but look around once more in the hopes of spotting her, though. However, like she'd written, she remained hidden.

More than anything, he wanted to see her again and hold her in his arms, ensure that she was safe. It was one of the few goals he had in his life.

Shinya relayed the contents of the letter to his friends.

At first, they were against the two-person meeting because being out here without a squad was incredibly dangerous, but Shinya assured them that he would be careful and that they could trust Vivian.

In the end, they agreed to let the two of them have their privacy during their chat because Shinya was adamant in his decision to meet Vivian. They would wait right outside the spacious book store his friend and first love had chosen as their meeting place and check on him after a certain amount of time had passed.

Of course, Goshi couldn't refrain from teasing Shinya on the way. "Finally, you'll see your beloved again, eh?"

"Jealous~?" Shinya couldn't keep the smile off of his face and didn't even bother to deny it anymore.

"Not really. She isn't your girlfriend yet, is she?"

"Yep, she isn't. Even if Vivian had wanted more than friendship from me, I wouldn't have dared to drag her into the mess that was the Hiiragi Clan and the Order of Imperial Demons back then. She was just a normal civilian and I preferred to keep it that way."

It would have been too selfish to gamble with her life just because he wanted to be with her. Vivian also didn't belong in the cold, ruthless world Shinya had grown up in. It wouldn't have made her happy.

Oh, and Shinya was also technically engaged with Mahiru at that time even if it was just a ruse. It had been kind of complicated.

Shinya couldn't help but make innuendos or drop hints for Vivian, though, even if he couldn't tell her about his feelings or include her more in his life as a safety precaution. Merely being friends with him had already put her in enough danger.

It puzzled him that she could be so perceptive at times and then be so blind when his feelings for her were involved. Maybe he was just that good at hiding what he was feeling or thinking. Or maybe she just didn't want to see them and liked Shinya only as a friend.

Vivian had also been weirdly determined not to date anyone who wasn't an adult per law even though she was just a teen herself. At times, he thought that she was behaving like an adult woman stuck in a girl's body, which was hilarious.

Sometimes his hopes had gone up, like that time during her test of courage when one of her female classmates had been overly touchy with him and Vivian had glared at the girl as if she wanted to slice her head off. It could have been just her protective instinct, though and not jealousy.

A man could still hope.

Vivian was as viciously protective of her friends as Guren, or perhaps even more. They both cared so much about people.

Shinya had always admired that trait about them because it was something he lacked. He'd changed a little ever since meeting her and Guren, though.

Goshi grimaced. "Right." All of them understood what it was like to grow up and live in a family that was part of a magical syndicate, and why Shinya wouldn't want to bring his beloved into that world.

"Just be careful, idiot," Guren reminded him. "I don't want to have to save your sassy ass."

"You know me, Guren."

"That's why I'm telling you this. You can be really reckless when it comes to your friends."

"Look who's talking," Shinya grinned.

The prospect of losing his life had never fazed him.


If I hadn't been secretly following Shinya and his squad ever since our confrontation, I wouldn't have found them again when they used some kind of spell to hide themselves.

They vanished from my sight, but I was still able to hear and smell them to a degree. Additionally, they left footprints on the ground, so I knew in which direction they were heading.

An idea how I could contact Shinya and separate him from his squad hit me then. I used a site from the notebook I was carrying in the small bag on the back of my belt and quickly wrote my message for Shinya.

I cut off a long strand of my hair, because I was certain that my friend would recognise it and would realise that the message was from me that way. It would grow back in less than a minute anyway.

I threw the stone with the message in the general direction of Shinya's squad from my hiding place around the corner of a building and retreated further when I heard it land on the ground.

I waited for a few tense moments and peaked around the corner to check whether my message had been discovered when I heard muffled shouts.

The stone had vanished, which must mean that Shinya or one of his friends had picked it up.

Hoping for the best, I rushed to the book store, that I had often visited in the past. I kept glancing around on the way to ensure that I wasn't being followed and hadn't been spotted and was relieved when I entered the semi-darkness of the book store.

Upon entering it I saw my reflection in the dirty glass door, which made me feel self-conscious again. It didn't matter what I looked like when I was around the other vampires or humans who didn't know me, but I was really apprehensive to show myself to Shinya.

It was similar to how I'd felt about showing myself to Mika after my eyes had turned red and I'd drunken human blood, but at the same time it was so much worse.

Would Shinya understand my reasons and decisions or would he condemn me for them?

I fiddled nervously with my fingers while I checked out the building to ensure that Shinya and I would be alone. There was no one here but a family of mice.

Even though I didn't need to wait for long, my anxiety about my life situation and Shinya's reaction to it, that was mixed with the exhilaration of soon being able to talk to my friend again, made every second pass too slow and too fast at the same time.

I heard him long before I saw him.

First, there was the sound of several different footsteps outside, then at the entrance. Shinya assured his friends that he would be fine. They fortunately stayed outside and only one pair of feet entered the building.

Next, I smelled Shinya, his scent being the same as always though I could detect more nuances in it than usual thanks to my heightened sense of smell.

I hated the inhuman part of me that thought that it was also a very delicious scent. It horrified and disgusted me that I even contemplated for the part of a second how Shinya's blood would taste.

My friend slowly came closer and closer to my hiding place but stopped when he was right in the middle of the store, where he had the best vantage point.

It was still some distance away from the bookshelf I hid behind. I just couldn't help myself. I was so happy that I could speak to my friend again, but at the same time so very afraid of his reaction.

"Vivi-chan?" Shinya sounded hopeful yet cautious. I relished the sound of his voice and the way he said my name.

I closed my eyes for a moment and took a few more unneeded breaths. The time was necessary to muster up the courage to say something.

It was almost perverse that my body was so silent and unmoving when I was feeling like a ball of anticipatory anxiety. My heart should be pounding a hundred miles an hour to match my feelings.

"Shinya," I said quietly and a little breathlessly.

"Vivi-chan?" Shinya repeated, but this time he had turned in my direction and began to take a few step towards me.

His heart was beating as fast as mine should be, which meant that I wasn't the only one who was nervous about our meeting.

"Wait!" I pleaded and slid further into the shadows of the aisle, like the coward I was.

Shinya stopped in his tracks. "What's wrong, Vivi-chan? Why are you still hiding? My friends are waiting outside, so you have me aaall to yourself like you wanted it~."

Despite my nerves, or maybe because of my nerves, I had to hold back an amused snort. God, how I had missed Shinya and this attitude and way of speaking of his.

"Don't make me laugh," I chided him. "I have to talk with you about some serious topics."

"So I've read. But if you're playing hide and seek with me like a little child, I'm afraid I can't muster up any seriousness."

"Th-that's... I-I have a reason for it, okay?" I stuttered.

"Heeeh~? Don't you want to see your old buddy again and give him a big hug?"

Damn you, Shinya, for making this harder for me!

"I do! I really do, but... I'm... I'm..." a vampire, "...not the same girl you knew anymore," I finished lamely and clenched my fists. "You... you probably won't like me anymore if you see me."

How did you come out to someone who hunted vampires for a living as being a vampire? Maybe I should have read one of the coming-out books in this store while I was waiting for my friend. This was harder than I'd imagined.

"Aww, are you feeling self-conscious, Vivi-chan~?" he asked playfully.

'Yes, very,' I answered him in my thoughts but remained quiet and fiddled with one of the books from the shelf next to me. The silence hung heavy between us.

"Seriously? Vivi-chan~, you know that I'll always be your friend and that it doesn't matter to me what you look like, right?" Shinya promised me, thinking that it was merely a cosmetic problem.

"Don't... Don't make promises you can't keep, Shinya-nii," I said in a pained tone though I wanted nothing more than to believe him.

"Vivian, what happened to you?" Shinya's playful and airy tone was gone and was replaced by concern.

A shaky exhale was my response. "A lot. Too much."

"Did the Demon Army do something to you?"

Anger rose in me at the mention of it. "Yes."

"...And the Demon Army is still after you, isn't it? That's the reason why a squad is stationed near your old home, right?" Shinya conjectured. "You removed my message and any evidence that could point towards me and make them suspect that I'm in contact with you and helping you somehow in order to protect me and my friends, didn't you?"

My friend hit the nail right on the head. "Discerning as always."

"I live to please," he retorted airily but there was a spark of truth in his words. "What does the Demon Army want from you, Vivi-chan? What did they do to you?"

I could hear that Shinya was getting agitated on my behalf, but there was no nice way to relay what had been done to me.

"They... they found me on the day of the apocalypse when I tried to get help for Kaori and Akira, shortly after I left a message on your mailbox," I began tensely as the memories resurfaced, but somehow it was easier to talk about them now compared to that time with Krul.

"The soldiers of the Demon Army captured me and brought me to the research facility in Shibuya, where the scientists tried to turn me into... their bioweapon. I was their captive and one of their test subjects for four years before I managed to escape. Naturally, they want me back now."

Shinya was processing the bad news quickly. "You were subjected to human experimentation for four years?" he asked with barely hidden anger.

It wouldn't get any better from this point on.

"Who ordered it?" was his next question in a more controlled but still very angered tone.

"Hiiragi Kureto," I spat out the name.

"Kureto-nii-san? Why would he...?" Shinya trailed off but I heard his thundering heartbeat in his chest. "Vivi-chan, is it my fault? Did Kureto ever mention me? He's my adoptive brother, the one I've vaguely mentioned in some of our conversations."

I tried to remember the few instances I had seen Evil Eyebrows. "No, he never mentioned you. Why would you think that it's your fault that I became a test subject?"

"...Shortly before the apocalypse I openly rebelled against the Hiiragi family, who had adopted me, and then I failed them when I was unable to prevent the end of the world. Maybe he did all of that to you to punish me." Shinya sounded hollow, hurting enough to make me risk a glance around the corner of the bookshelf.

He ran his hand over his face and hair. Shinya was trembling with emotion, which was very unlike him. He was always calm and composed in any situation.

And what was this about preventing the apocalypse? Had he known that it would be triggered somehow?

"Don't blame yourself, Shinya," I tried to soothe him. "I was just at the wrong place at the wrong time. That bastard would have used me as a test subject anyway. It's not your fault."

He looked sharply into my direction, so I immediately retreated behind the shelf and into the shadows again, feeling like an idiot while I was doing so. I wanted nothing more than to be by Shinya's side and give him a hug, but he would recognize my uniform even before he saw my changed features.

"How are you, Vivian? Truly?" Shinya asked me tiredly but softly.

That question was harder to answer than I thought. "I'm... as well as I can be in my situation."

"And what is your 'situation'? Are you still hurt or unwell, Vivi-chan? Why do you continue to hide?" he questioned. "...Can't you stand to face me anymore after what my adoptive brother did to you?"

How did he come up with that crappy conclusion? "No, I told you it's because you won't like me anymore if you face me. I'm a..."

Goddammit, the word just wouldn't come out!

"I-I was really sick because of what they did to me," I said instead. "I was very ill and almost died. No, I would have died if I hadn't been... saved in a way."

I took another deep breath and exhaled before I continued and walked languidly down the aisle while I was telling my story.

"I... had a choice to make, a very difficult choice, Shinya-nii. There was only one way to survive. Only one way that would enable me to see you, Mako-chan and Shū again, only one way to take my petty revenge on the Japanese Imperial Demon Army."

Shinya was still on the other side of the bookshelf but followed my voice like a sailor a siren's call. My footsteps were unnaturally silent compared to his.

"I survived that hell for four years only because I had hope that I would see you again if I just held on for long enough. When I finally escaped, I was already deathly sick. But... I didn't want to part with this world, didn't want give you up, couldn't, not after everything I've endured..." I trailed off as I stopped in a small patch of sunlight in front of a window at the end of the aisle.

"What are you trying to say?" Shinya whispered, clearly distraught over my story and possibly coming to the right conclusion.

I pushed back the hood and brushed out my hair with my fingers, opening the intertwined braids and removing the scrunchie I'd re-tied earlier. My long, slightly wavy hair fell down over the cloak and covered my pointed ears. Not that it would make the truth less of a blow for Shinya, but it made me a little more comfortable.

Shinya drew in a sharp breath once he stepped around the corner, in my aisle, and saw me standing there in the light of day with my back to him. His footsteps faltered and his heart made a jump.

In the reflection of the window I saw how he materialized his rifle out of thin air and pointed it at me. I remained still as a statue.

"Vivian... is that you?"

I clutched my fist to my chest as if it could help to shield me against the heartache. My unbeating heart felt as if it was overflowing with anguish and fear.

It was fear of Shinya's rejection, not fear for my life.

"Yes," I whispered, almost choking on the word. My sight was becoming blurry.

He took one step, two steps forward, then Shinya asked me quietly, "Why...? Why are you wearing that uniform?"

I knew denial when I heard it. "You know why, Shinya," I said in a teary voice, feeling the first drops roll down my cheeks. "In order to survive and see you again, I had to give up... something very precious."

My humanity.

The reflection of my friend's face twisted in emotional pain and despair. "Vivi-chan..." His voice was raw when he said my name.

A sniffle escaped me. "Are you going to shoot at me again?"


A/N: *Hides under bed* Sorry I cut the chapter there, but it would have gotten too long otherwise. I'll do my best to upload the next chapter as soon as possible. Leave me a comment to tell me what you think about the chapter :D I'd love to hear your thoughts since it took me so many rewrites before I was satisfied with it.

Stay safe in the meantime :) and don't do stupid things like Corona parties! I can't believe people actually do that... *insert massive facepalm*

Edit/Shameless self-promoting: If you're stuck at home and bored, you can go to my profile and check out my other stories for the Vampire Knight and Diabolik Lovers fandom :D