AN: Chapter 21! Whoohoo!


...

Levi

I keep Historia wrapped in my arms, too afraid to let her go. I meant what I said; I won't leave her again.

Her little heart thumps against her back, and I grip her closer, grateful for that small life inside.

She's alive. And I wasn't too late again...

Now I can die happy.

Shit. How the fuck did we end up in this mess?

First, we were kissing, and then we were arguing. And now we are hugging in a freezing lake in the middle of the woods…

I just thank the walls Hange left the cat. If it hadn't chased after me and warned me about Historia, she'd be dead right now. And I would have failed in my duty as her sworn knight.

I would no longer be seen as the nation's hero, but the coward who left the queen to die. And then the guilt would have eaten me up for the rest of my life.

I may have arrived on time, but I will never forgive myself. I left her to die, all just because I wasn't man enough to deal with my stupid feelings.

I don't do feelings…

There's no denying it anymore; I can feel it in my heartbeat, pumping new life into my bloodstream.

I am completely besotted with this young woman, and there is no going back.

I lost to trivial emotion in the end — I guess I'm not as strong as everyone thought I was after all.

But who cares. I get to look into her ocean blue eyes again and glimpse that sunshine yellow hair.

Historia finally stops crying, and now she falls completely silent. Alarmed, I peer down at her.

Shit. Her lips are blue.

Why the fuck are we still standing in this lake? The chilly autumn air will freeze her to death if I don't get her back to the farmhouse soon.

"Historia?"

She reaches up vacantly, touching my face. Normally, I don't take kindly to people poking me in the eye, but I will make an exception for her.

"C-Captain…?"

"It's… it's me. Ow!"

Well, there goes my eyeball.

I keep one eye on her now as the other's healing. "Can you walk?"

"I… I think so…"

I let go of her back and move her along, but she stumbles on the first step, flying face-first into the lake.

Luckily I catch her in time, sighing through gritted teeth. "You lied to me… You can't walk."

"S-sorry..."

I roll my eyes.

And they made this girl a soldier.

Granted she made it through training and got tenth in place, but she had her titan friend Ymir to thank for that.

Wherever that lanky, freckled girl is now, I hope she's proud of Historia. I doubt she would care much for me though (I doubt she cared much for any guy who took a fancy to her sweet little Krista).

"Come here…"

I scoop her up and carry her towards Silver, and she fits so snugly in my arms. Too snugly, it's distracting, but I don't dwell on that now. I need to get her back to the farmhouse before she turns into an icicle.

The mare waits patiently for us on the bank, and I have to hand it to her; she's one sturdy horse. She got me to Historia on time, so I think it's long overdue she got a treat.

I help the queen onto Silver's saddle, following her up. I sit behind her so she doesn't fall, and now I look over her blonde head as I take the reins.

Tomorrow, I will report back to the lake and uncover the identity of our late night visitor.

A shame I had to give him the quickest of deaths. I would have loved nothing more than to torture him for information.

But it's too late for regrets. If I hadn't been quick and deft, the girl sitting in front of me now would be as dead as his headless corpse.

It's time I took matters into my own hands. Forget Nile and the MPs.

I'll find out who's behind this…

I kick that decapitated head aside I fished from the lake. "Shit!"

Turns out he was just another faceless nobody in the end. No exciting features or markings — your typical, ugly bastard who has every reason to hide his face.

If only I had arrived on the scene earlier, I could have kept him alive so I could torture him. Not only for information but just so I could feel good about myself again.

This is all my fault. Because of my thoughtless actions, now we will never know who's behind these assassinations. If I had just remained by Historia's side and protected her like I was supposed to, I could have caught this rat before he even had a chance to lay his blade against her delicate neck.

She's still numb from shock, and once again the guilt chews me up. When I arrived at the farmhouse, carrying her limp body like a helpless damsel, I got her straight into the bath.

The nannies had been a massive help, getting her out of those wet clothes, and I just thank the walls there were other women around. If they hadn't been available, I would have had to have undressed her, and the thought still makes my chest flutter.

I'm not quite ready to see that much of Historia yet...

Then the nannies helped her into bed, and she had cried out for me to stay by her side. So I swallowed my pride and comforted my queen like the chivalrous knight I'm supposed to be. She kept waking up through the night screaming and crying, and I'm sure the children stirred in their beds a few times. But the ever-faithful nannies were there to make sure they all went back to sleep.

In the end, she soon settled and disappeared into dreamland; I could tell by the sweet expression on her face. She was no longer troubled, but at peace. And it was at that moment that I could truly see how beautiful and innocent she is, and it tugs on my heartstrings.

It's just not fair. How am I supposed to keep resisting her when she sleeps like an angel? It was hard enough to tear myself away from her bedside so I could report back to the lake.

I left just before dawn. That's the time the children tend to wake, and I couldn't bear to see the ecstatic looks on their faces when they saw me. They still regard me like I'm some storybook hero, and I don't deserve it.

I left them all to die. I like to think that the killer would have spared the children and just gone for Historia, but I grew up in the underground. I know what kinds of sick freaks live in this world.

I'll give the queen a few more days. Then I will deliver the awful news. The last thing I want to do is make her cry, but it's the best way forward now.

We can no longer stay at the orphanage. As much as I hate to admit it, Nile had been right all along.

The children weren't safe in the end. Even after all my boasting of how I could protect them and Historia.

Tch, it makes me want to vomit. It turns out I can't protect anyone. And I have enough dead comrades and friends to support that sentiment.

I squeeze my eyes, gripping my face as I suppress a yell. Then I take several deep breaths, laying my arm back down by my side again, and now I scowl at that ugly, decapitated head.

I've been told that I'm a pretty terrifying guy when I'm in fight mode, but if the frozen, petrified expression across the face of our night-time visitor is anything to go by, then sure… I'll believe it.

"Tch, what are you looking at?" I kick his head as it rolls back into the lake.

It's not the most mature thing to do, but his kind makes me sick.

I mean, just look at his filthy blade. It's the type of knife you'd use to slaughter a pig. (The literal and the figurative kind.)

I lift it in my hand, giving it a test spin.

Hm. Not bad. Almost the kind Kenny would have used back in the old days. In fact, I've only ever seen the likes of it in the underground…

My eyes expand, and I study the steel closely now.

The underground may not have the best blacksmiths. Nowhere as good as the swordsmith who made my sword, but they still have one or two who can fashion you any weapon that your heart desires.

I should know; I was a pretty twisted kid and had called upon the services of one particular blacksmith many times in my youth. That was before I learnt that it was smarter to keep things simple and surprise your enemies with a smaller, hidden blade.

The last thing you want to do is draw attention to yourself down in the underground. Don't go around brandishing some flashy weapon that someone would likely steal and try to sell.

I know this steelwork. Granted, the blacksmith that I knew will be long dead now (he was ancient when I knew him twenty years ago), but his son would have taken over his forge.

My heart pounds as the realisation hits me.

Our visitor came from the underground.

Fuck.

The kids had already left for the local schoolhouse by the time I arrived at the farm. Only the little ones stay behind in the nursery.

At least I don't have to see their adoring faces.

I put Silver away in her stall and give her nose a soft pat. "You did well last night, sweet girl."

The mare nickers, nudging my hand with her snout. One of her shiny black eyes regards me tenderly now, and I peer between those thick eyelashes.

They really are pure creatures. I don't see any ounce of judgement in Silver's jewel-like eyes right now. Just affection.

I chose wisely the day I picked her out.

You may find this surprising, but I've always had a soft spot for animals. So I would never dream of hurting one. I still remember the time I found those kids beating the shit out of a stray dog when I still lived in the underground, so I beat the shit out of them.

The only animals I ever had a hard time connecting with were cats. You'd think we'd get along considering we're both so indifferent, but that doesn't seem to be the case.

It takes an asshole to know an asshole after all.

Well, that was until Erwin the II came along. At first, we clashed, but it seems we have become friends now.

I'm still not sure if that was a hallucination last night, but I need to find him and thank him. Silver wasn't the only animal who saved the day.

I'm sure he'll be snoozing around somewhere.

Finally, I shut Silver's stall, and head back to the farmhouse. On my way up the porch, I spy that blonde shape peering down at me from a window, and now I meet those blue eyes.

My heart sinks to the pits of my stomach when I see that broken expression, and I release a grave sigh.

Time to tell her what I found.

I study her carefully as I just told her about my discovery.

I didn't dare show her the blade. The last thing I want to do is trigger her.

We sit at the kitchen table, nursing steaming cups of tea. Funny, I don't feel all that up for drinking mine, and I can tell Historia feels the same.

At least the tea helps to warm the chilly atmosphere. The farmhouse was so cold this morning, I could see my breath. I have no idea where this sudden chill has come from, but it's enough to unnerve me — humanity's so-called strongest…

The windows have fogged up now, giving the farmhouse kitchen a cosy appearance, but it still doesn't warm the icy revelation of my recent discovery.

Finally, Historia heaves a heavy sigh, wafting the steam away from her cup. "The… the underground…?"

I close my eyes, clutching the rim of my cup. "There's no verifiable proof yet."

"But… you said the knife had been forged in the underground. You said you recognised the steelwork. You're usually right about these things, Captain."

Finally, I take a sip. "I really hope that I'm not this time."

Historia shivers, taking her face in her hands. "I… I can't believe this. One of those monsters had actually been within a hundred metres of Tilly again… I brought her here so that she would be safe from the underground… but I only just brought it back to her…"

My heart clenches, and now that all too familiar guilt gnaws on my inside again. "You didn't bring him here, Your Majesty. He came of his own violation."

"I… I did. If I had just listened to Nile and stayed at the palace in the first place, then she could have been safe. This is all my fault…"

She shudders again, fighting back tears, and I slam my cup onto the table (though not too hard; it's real china).

"Historia…"

"There's no point in arguing with me, Captain. You know I'm right. If I hadn't insisted on leaving the capital, then the children would be safe. Who… who knows when the next attack will—"

I jump to my feet, sending my chair flying backwards. Historia's face shoots up, alarmed.

"Don't you dare blame yourself. The only one at fault here is me. So stop being so modest. You know that I'm right, Historia... I failed you last night. All because I…"

Words fail me now as the memory of our kiss flashes through my mind, and I break into a nervous sweat. Historia turns beetroot red.

I settle back down into my seat and take my drink again, trying to distract my thoughts.

I don't know how we're going to go on after that infamous kiss. We can't just pretend as if it never happened. There's clearly something magnetic between us, despite our alarming age difference.

When she first asked me to be her personal knight, I had no idea I would end up falling… no, I refuse to say the L-word.

If I completely surrender to my feelings, then they will only become real and hurt me.

I've been through enough shit in my lifetime. I'm prepared to jump into battle, but when it comes to matters of the heart… I'm a complete wimp.

Historia finally musters the courage to speak, fixing her mesmerising eyes on me. I even stop drinking my tea for a moment.

They're so blue…

"We… we have to leave the orphanage… don't we?"

I look away before her eyes destroy me, gazing into my cup. There's my glum reflection staring back at me.

I'm not surprised she came to that conclusion on her own. She's pretty smart and can figure things out.

"Yes. I know I may not show it… but the last thing I want to do is put those kids in danger. I'm sorry… but it's how it has to be..."

She sucks in a shaky breath, putting on a strong face now, and I can't help but be proud of her. She really has come a long way in the last two years.

"If that's what we have to do… so be it. Let us leave and find who is responsible. I will not cower any longer."

Historia wears that determined expression on her face, and I get a little goose flesh. Everyone thinks Mikasa is the badass girl in our group, but when Historia has that look in her eyes… watch out, world.

She takes it one step further and marches out of the room, saying, "And don't bother informing Nile or the other MPs. We're doing this on our own now, Captain."

I'm just glad she's left the room because I almost choke with pride.

That's my queen…


AN: I'm not sure if you all noticed the parallels I had with Levi saving Historia here and to A Choice with No Regrets. That's why he keeps saying, "I'm not too late again..."

He was too late the last time...

The manga is so much more emotional than the OVA if that's even possible. Well, in my opinion, and it's because of this one scene; Levi doesn't want Farlan and Isabel to leave Captain Flagon's group when they're out in the formation. He wants them to stay and do the right thing while he goes after Erwin. But in the OVA, he just leaves. They did stay in the end, and... ugh... it just gets to me. They were thieves who were given another chance and died heroes in the end 😥

Aw, Levi is falling in... Nope, I won't say it...

LEVI'S IN LOOOOOOVVVVVVEEEEEE!

Expect another posting this weekend. Friday or Saturday.

CartoonPrincessSigningOff.