Adora didn't even know what to do after the trial ended. She had no mission anymore, it was a lack of purpose she had not seen coming. Survival was her goal as long as she could remember, now there was no fight left, no one to fix, no one attacking her. Her biggest concerns were actually dating and school. She could fret about finals and cram study like a normal kid. It should feel good, the fight was over, there was no more boogie man but she still felt scared and angry. She couldn't turn off her brain, couldn't relax for the life of her. How did her panic attacks and flashbacks get worse after the danger was gone? How was she more broken? More afraid behind the gated community walls surrounded by people who cared but it was more than she felt at the worst times before.
According to the psychiatrist, Ms Moon sent her to, was because her brain could actually process all that happened to after the danger was gone. But mostly she just felt like shit. It sucked that even when everyone was being kind to her she still might just freak out on them. Her mind and body wanted to fight someone, anyone. Including people who weren't a threat.
Everyone was nice about it though, tried to give her space if she needed it. But Bow still looked hurt when she stiffened at her hug but never said anything to her. Ms Moon looked a bit offended but didn't comment when Adora flinched if Ms Moon moved to fast or got to loud but didn't chide her. Glimmer only looked a little frustrated when Adora was too fidgety to sit with her.
Adora was sitting in her window, like a sappy film watching the spring rainfall in long sheets. Commiserating with the sky who was crying for her when she was so close to bawling but it wouldn't, couldn't let it happen.
"Hey," Glimmer said softly.
"Hi," Adora said Pulling her legs in. Glimmer took the silent invitation and joined her looking at the rain along with Adora.
"I'm sorry Glimmer. I know I, I haven't been a good house guest or girlfriend."
"You are going through some tough shit. I'm not mad at you for that."
"What are you angry about then?" Adora said turning to face Glimmer.
"You won't let me help. Pushing me away isn't the right way to do this." Glimmer said an edge sliding into her voice.
"It's not your shit to have to deal with. I'm the one being so dumb it's not fair to put it on you."
"Well I do have to deal with it, I love you! If you're hurting then I want to make it better. And yeah I can't carry it for you, but I can make it feel a bit lighter!"
"I'm not even sure I know what's going on. I'm just fighting and running and I don't even know why anymore. It's like I'm itching to do something, anything all the fucking time. There is nothing to do anymore, I don't have a reason to be alive anymore."
"Adora don't say that, please. Aren't your friends enough? Learning to do new things, help people, help Lily!"
"I'm not trying to say you don't matter, of course, you all matter. But I don't have to provide any more. Protect anymore, work for anymore, clean up anymore. Like even when I was messing up I still mattered."
"You matter so much. Lily needs you, Bow needs you, the soccer team needs you. I need you!"
"How do I stop fighting? How do I stop being afraid? How do I stop running? I can't turn it off it's always there. I have to be perfect all the time, and I'm not doing that anymore. I can't be perfect and be like this."
"I don't know how to stop it. But I don't need you to be perfect if you were you'd be a pain to hang out with." Glimmer gave her a sad smile.
Adora barked a laugh, looking at Glimmer. Her tan skin and eyes dancing with love and life. Glimmer always cared, always tried to help her. Adora leaned forward and kissed her. Soaking up the comfort of the arms around her.
"I love you," Adora said their foreheads touching arms still tangled in each other.
"I love you too." Glimmer said.
After staying like that for a moment Adora's breath levelled matching Gillmer's.
"I have a suggestion, let's go on a date!"
"A date?" Adora said with a frown leaning on the wall hand still resting on Glimmer's leg.
"Proper one. Get dinner and a movie, possibly after the movie we can get ice cream."
"That sounds, really nice." Adora said, "But I'd hate to leave Lily for a super long time again"
"I'll call Bow to watch her, she likes him better than the adults."
"Alright, sounds good. Let's do that."
Glimmer broke into a smile that was brighter than any star or neon sign could ever be.
Glimmer and Adora were at a Chili's having dinner. It was nice and not too fancy so they were comfortable. The food was just fine but the conversation was easy and wonderful. All about school, tv shows, their friends, and much of anything they could think of. The noise around them faded into the background, her "spidey senses" might still be thrumming in the back of her mind but it was much quieter than normal.
The movie was fun. Seeing a comedy was a good choice and the Lego movies were like the definition of being unlikely hilarious movies. Glimmer held her hand the whole time, whispering commentary on the movie into her ear. Glimmer's face being so close to her and breathing in her ear made Adora flush red every time.
They were the most cheesy couple ever and went to an ice cream shop. All the counters and machines in the shop were shiny chrome, the ice cream was behind glass with little labels with funny names for the flavours. All the walls were covered in cheesy 40/50s Americana and the workers' shirts were stripped. Then they were cliche as all hell sharing an ice cream sundae in a cosy booth watching the sunset on a may night that lit up the sky in pinks and oranges. Adora ate the cherry being the only one who likes maraschino cherries.
"Give me the stem." Glimmer said picking it from Adora's lips
"Hey! Why?" Adora said,
"Tie a knot in it, duh!" Glimmer said placing it in her mouth.
Adora laughed at the face she pulled swishing it in her mouth. It was then oddly sex when she held it out on her tongue to show Adora. At that moment she understood why this was something people liked to show off. And it was cemented when Glimmer leaned over kissing her. The chocolate sauce flavoured mouth as she passed the stem to Adora's mouth
God, it was the best night. The rode home spring wind running through their hair and catching the scream/song lyrics of pop music snatching them away.
" One taught me, love, One taught me patience, And one taught me pain, Now, I'm so amazing, I've loved and I've lost, But that's not what I see
so, look what I got, Look what you taught me" Glimmer sang way too loud and way off key but the confidence was intoxicating and made Adora laugh uncontrollably she snorted.
Laying in her bed that night she stared at the ceiling which had been decorated with those sticky stars when Lily had seen them when they were buying some new furniture for their room.
Both girls now had their own wardrobe and desks. It was clear she thought it was the absolute coolest thing she saw and it matches her space-themed comforter. But lily had been too afraid to ask.
Lily now usually answer direct questions from Ms moon but avoided talking to her besides that choosing to only talk Adora and sometimes Glimmer. Just like Adora, the idea of asking for something they didn't actually need was terrifying. Lily because she never got things in general, and Adora was only ever gifted things she needed or someone else thought she would want, besides Catra giving her gifts. When they got ready for bed the next day they had seen the room glow with stars Lily had just about exploded with excitement giving an unprompted thank you to Ms moon.
Adora counted them to try and sleep. Lily was curled into her side breathing softly. It was good to have that presence not having anyone made her unable to sleep. The thrum of a sleeping heart reverberating through her and quiet sniffles and breath were the soundtrack she needed to ever sleep. Even if it wasn't the same as Catra it was still nice. The day had been sort of magical going on a date after school like a normal actual person.
The next day they were sitting in the living room. Adora leaned on Glimmer half asleep as Glimmer twisted her long blonde hair within her fingers when the doorbell rang making Adora sit up quickly.
"I'm awake." She said
Bow snorted under his breath from the other couch.
"I don't wanna get up." Glimmer moaned staring at the doorway that led to the foyer.
"Don't you're warm," Adora said letting her eyes close.
"Ahhhh!" Lily's scream ran through the house.
Adora jumped into action running out the room. Her brain and body already kicked into fight state her muscle tightening her heart racing. Then she saw Catra collapsed on the floor blood-stained shirt. Lily was kneeling on the ground tears streaming and looked completely shell shocked. Adora swore under her breath and dropped to knees rolling Catra over she had what looked like a knife mark into her stomach.
"Glimmer!"Adora yelled
"Yeah?" Glimmer asked nervously
"I need clean water, rubbing alcohol, any gauze you have, bandages, Gatorade and towels."
"Right." Glimmer said and ran out.
"Bow help me get her to the couch." Adora ordered
"Okay," Bow said voice cracking.
Half carrying Catra to the couch who was slightly awake but wasn't speaking. Adora laid Catra out and ran her hair through her curly hair.
"Bow get scissors."
Adora's brain ran through the paces required to fix her. She stuck her tongue out the world around her fading as she tried to gauge how deep the wound was.
Not very deep more like a glancing blow, deep enough it was problematic but none of her organs were hit. However the bruise to her head was probably the real problem, Catra had gotten a lot of head injuries it tended to affect her pretty bad. Not to mention she had probably been treating her body like shit, as long as she could fight Catra didn't always care to sleep or actually take care of her own injuries.
The scissors appeared in her hands as she cut off the bottom of her shirt. Adora grimaced at the wound still didn't look too bad but the blood smeared on her skin still made Adora feel horrible she even heard Bow gag. She didn't know if it was the current wound or the clear old wounds and scars running across her stomach. A sick tie-dye of purple, red, green and yellow. Finally, Glimmer got back, she also let out a noise of surprise and disgust.
Adora cleaned the area wiping away the fresh blood. Poured the alcohol on the wound illicit sharp breaths from her friends and a long hiss from Catra whos whole body flinch around her abdomen causing another wine like a dying cat. Adora's task-focused mind still had a little space to notice an odd irony. It turned out cleaning people up after fights were essentially the same in their old bedroom lit by a half burned-out bulb and the moon as the brightly lit living room with the sun pouring through a window.
Afterwards, Adora sat back. Her own hands were now stained red and stung like hell from the alcohol running through the micro-cuts on her fingers. Catra had passed all the way out and Lily was leaning on Adora's side.
"That was impressive and heartbreaking." Bow said with a thick sounding voice.
"I had too." Was all Adora could get out her body and mind exhausted. Adora stayed there for a few hours. Till Catra herself woke up and looked around her eyes wide and muscles tense.
Adora reached behind her and passed the Gatorade and box of saltines Glimmer had acquired to try and get Adora to eat something. Catra obeyed as she used too. Drinking and eating enough to placate Adora.
"Why are you here?" Glimmer asked everyone turning to look at her.
"I needed this." She gestured to her side, "I don't trust Scorpia or Entrapta to fix me up, but I couldn't do it myself."
"You didn't want them to see you weak," Adora said staring at Catra.
"I'm not weak," Catra said in a low growl.
"Fine vulnerable for whatever. You didn't want to pass out in front of them." Adora muttered.
Catra just gave a stiff nod.
"New clothes?" Lily suggested softly.
"Yeah, I can't do crop tops," Catra said stiffly.
Adora was able to guide Catra to her room. Adora gave a weak smile to her friends when she closed the door in their face. Catra put on Adora's championship t-shirt that was lying on the dresser. It was too big having gotten a large shirt by accident. So it was long enough to hang right to her thigh.
"I'll shower tomorrow," Catra said swaying slightly looking green in the face
"Lay back down," Adora said grabbing her hand.
Catra did sit down but she didn't let go of Adora's hand. Adora didn't even think she just laid on the bed too and Lily followed curling between both of them. It never seemed to matter, they always ended up here.
Adora fell asleep without noticing not waking till Glimmer came inside that evening.
"My mom is wondering why you're not at dinner," She said quietly.
But her volume didn't matter the light from the hallway enough to wake all of them.
Catra staggered to her feet. Adora noticed Glimmer's face flash jealousy for a second Adora blushed.
"What is going?" Catra muttered and then fell on Lily's bed with a squawk.
"You came to my house bleeding. Adora helped you." Glimmer said.
"Right." Catra said rubbing her head, "thanks"
"You need to be careful. You don't want to rip the bandage off. And stay still, you know better than to try and run around after concussions." Adora sat down as she bit her lip she started to lift the shirt when Catra hit her hand.
"Glitter or whatever is in here," Catra said,
"Oh right sorry," Adora said.
Glimmer grabbed sweat pants from the dresser and handed them to Catra, "Let Adora fix you up. I don't want you bleeding out or dying." She closed her eyes and Catra quickly put them on.
There was no sign of infection and the bleeding had mostly stopped so she still had to change the gauze. Adora noticed some injuries on her back.
"Turn around," Adora said.
"Why?"
"You have new bruises and stuff on your back. I couldn't see them before."
"Fine."
Catra turned around and Adora heard Glimmer gasp a bit and Catra flinched under her touch at the noise. It wasn't that bad just some scrapes and stuff. But then Adora realised it was probably old the scars littering Catra's back, Adora didn't even register them anymore which was probably odd, but some of these dated back since they met. It didn't phase her. Adora then thought that Glimmer hadn't seen her shirtless. She had scars on her back from fights she'd been in. How Glimmer would react to that if they ever did anything... sexual like...she'd end up telling her.
"I'm done," Adora muttered and Catra pulled her shirt back over her head.
Four girls sat in a circle staring at each other Lily was sitting wide-eyed looking very confused, Glimmer looked really awkward and Catra was giving off an energy that almost felt like static electricity next to her. It was like a Mexican standoff with questions instead of guns.
"Okay!" Adora said, "what happened Catra?"
"I got in a fight with the guy you almost murdered. Apparently, someone decided he was the right person for me to work with. He got mad when Entrapta noted he doesn't have an ear anymore so he attacked me."
Adora grimace, "fucking hell."
"Why did you come here?" Glimmer asked.
"I said why I trust Adora to patch me up."
"But aren't there hospitals or something?"
"Don't like em. I also don't have the money and they might call somebody like the police or some shit. It's a lot harder to say stab wounds are an accident that bruises or a black eye."
"But you threatened to stab her!" Glimmer shouted.
"So?" Catra muttered standing up.
"I'm lost." Glimmer said literally throwing her hands in the air.
"She knew I would patch her up, I always do. Plus she needs someone who will force her to stay still. I assume your new friends don't understand your history of running into things when you get your head banged over. " Adora placed her hand on Catra's shoulder sitting her back down. To Adora's surprise, Catra actually leaned into her.
"If we wait any longer Mom will come up here. I've been here for a half-hour!" Glimmer said glancing at her phone.
"We're going to eat. Don't destroy anything." Adora said, Catra glared at them but she was clearly too tired for it to be scary.
Dinner was awkward but fast the food had gotten cold anyway.
They walked back upstairs but before she could open her door Glimmer stopped her.
"What are you planning?"
"What do you mean?" Adora asked, great someone had to ask her, she wasn't sure she knew what she was currently doing, the future was too far away to think through.
"With the girl in your room!. Bow and I cleaned her blood off my floor!"
"She needed help."
"You don't even get along anymore, I didn't know you were still friends"
"Look you don't get Catra. You don't understand."
"Then help me!"
"You don't stop caring about Bow when you fight."
"My fights don't include knives. Also if he showed up like that I'm taking him to a doctor."
"I just went into action I guess. I handled like I always do. I'll keep her here till she's safe and then she can leave if she wants to, or we can talk to your mom if she wants help."
"Okay Fine. I'll hide a girl upstairs, should be fn. Like an easy fun quirky movie!"
Adora laughed. It really wasn't. Nothing about Catra was ever easy.
