Chapter 19

Narrowing the Gaps

As the limo wound its way through the residential area of Elwood City and back to the Crosswire estate, Muffy busied herself with her Infinity. Rather than perusing social media, she was taking care of a failsafe for Saturday night. While Alan and his father were both out of the kitchen this afternoon, she had grabbed Alan's phone and snapped a picture of Mr. Powers's contact information. She did not think things would reach emergency levels on Saturday night, but she wanted to be prepared for even the worst scenarios.

"Just in case I can't handle it myself," she promised herself under her breath. That's what responsible people do, right?

She had saved the number under AAA so it would appear at the top of her list, ready in a pinch. As she did, the Infinity buzzed in her hand, its screen luminous with the picture she had taken of Chip at Lucien's.

"Is your study thing over?" he said once she had answered.

"On my way home. Did you make a rez for next week?"

"Uh, that's why I'm calling you, actually."

His voice sounded heavy.

"Oh, what's going on?"

"Let me start by saying it's not that I don't want to spend time with you…"

That was all Muffy needed. She knew what was coming next.

"Is it Catherine?"

"Yeah. Yeah. We had a long talk last night about how difficult it's been to get together lately. Look, Muffler, I don't want to cut our thing out completely, yours and mine, but I can't lose her. I have to do everything I can to narrow the gap."

Muffy was silent as she absorbed Chip's words.

"What do you say to every other Monday or just playing it by ear?"

A part of Muffy thought, I've missed you for five years. At least Catherine got to visit you in secret from time to time. What about our gap? What about the gap between you and the rest of us?

Was that too selfish? She stopped herself from expressing those thoughts. The last thing she wanted was to start and argument.

Maybe this was something she just did not quite understand. She had never felt what it was like to be in love. At least, she had never experienced the feelings she associated with the term. She did not understand that particular need, the need to be next to someone, a significant other, to make a relationship grow. Chip had not had it easy in love, and now he talked of how lucky he felt to have Catherine in his life. Maybe he deserved a lucky break, or to at least feel less alone. The desire to feel less alone was most definitely a feeling with which she could identify. She did not want Chip to feel that kind of loneliness, and there were certainly worse companions than Catherine to have next to him.

"You promise you won't disappear?" she said. "You just got back."

"I'm done with disappearing. I swear it. I'll see you soon, don't worry. And we've got Thanksgiving coming up. If the big guy and I don't kill each other, maybe I can risk Christmas, too. Who knows? I mean, I don't know, not for sure. But still…it could happen. I'm willing to try anything to make it work with her, Muff, you have no idea."

There was a surge of happiness in her chest.

"Christmas? Maybe we all could go to Aspen," she offered, "just like old times."

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves… Are you going to be okay?"

"I think so. I miss you already."

"Same."

"Can I plan your wedding?"

"Goodnight, Muffy."

"Love you," she said with a laugh. "Mean it."


"This wouldn't happen to be a ploy to get your job back, would it?" Alan's mother said to him, her tone suspicious.

Since Muffy's departure, Alan had been doing homework in his room. He had come downstairs when his parents called him a couple of minutes before dinner and asked him to have a seat between them on the sofa. Asking him to have a seat was always the obvious tell things were about to get serious. Alan was sure the discussion would be about the Splendor of Light tickets, and he suspected his mother might put up resistance, but he had not expected this conclusion from her.

Had she posited that the tickets were a ploy to get them out of the house, he might have grown nervous, might have given up his endeavor. But her preposterous assumption was enough to allow him to form a delicate, authentic indignation without seeming petulant. Alan pressed his lips together and thought about what to say.

"You theorize that I…asked Muffy to spend what must have been hundreds of dollars on those tickets, a purchase that would have needed her parents' approval to make…and offer them to dad so I could…bribe you?"

His mother stared at him while he worked his way through her logic. Once he finished, it was as if she realized the weakness of her reasoning and was embarrassed by it. She looked down as his father leaned across Alan toward her.

"I told you it didn't make much sense," he mumbled to her with a smile.

Alan saw the subtle expression on his father's face, a wordless communication between him and his mother that was akin to a plea. Could Muffy be right? Did his father want this? Had he convinced his mother?

"I do want my job back," Alan said, figuring some honesty could help the situation. It was not a secret, after all. "My extracurriculars as well. But, Mom, that's a pretty grandiose and expensive scheme. If you don't want me to cover closing Saturday evening, that's fine, but you don't have to make this out to be something it's not."

Manipulating them further, especially after Muffy's speech on how much his parents loved him felt irredeemably dirty, but he was following Muffy's advice on how to deflect their suspicions. The verdict was coming up, he could sense it.

He wondered which other locations Prunella had in mind for a second séance. Could it be a place Lydia loved, Glenbrook Academy or one of her favorite indie bookstores? They could not hold a séance inside, but what about in the parking lot? He knew little about how this stuff worked.

What if she wants to hold it at Lydia's grave?

It was a scary thought. Alan had never been there and was not sure he could force himself to go, but if it meant getting answers…

"I'm just making sure," his mother said, her voice gentler now. "Actually, we seriously discussed it, your dad and I. He told me how well you handle your tutoring sessions, how relaxed you seem. You really enjoy yourself, don't you?"

This did not require him to lie, deflect, or bend anything. It was an easy answer.

"I do," Alan said with an earnest nod. "Like I said. I hate being idle, and helping Muffy matters. I like doing things that matter."

"I could tell," his father said. "You're a natural teacher. I don't remember the last time I saw you smile so much."

He had smiled?

"If you want to help us," his mother said slowly, "we're willing to give you a shot at the last hour and a half. It is the slowest block of Saturday, during this time of year, anyway, so it shouldn't be too out of hand for you. I can bring my dress and coat and change in the office, and your dad can pick me up on the way to Erie. If you wouldn't mind staying with Muffy and Bailey after closing, until you get a call from us, that would be preferred."

"That shouldn't be a problem," Alan said, allowing himself to sound as eager as he felt. "I'll touch base with Muffy tomorrow."

"But understand, honey, that, if there are any problems at all, you are to call us. Will you do that?"

"I understand, yes. And don't worry about me. I'm happy to help, really."

"Another thing…" she said, placing a hand on his forearm. "If Saturday goes well, maybe we could try it again the week after next, then a full supervised shift the week after that."

Alan understood why his mother wanted him to skip next Saturday. She knew him well. Next Saturday was Halloween. More importantly, it was the anniversary, typically not a good day for him. If he had a breakthrough with Prunella, however, perhaps that would change going forward.

"We'll work on a gradual progression," his father said bracingly, "one that will help us gauge how you're handling things, when to hold back, when to add more."

"We just want to know that it's right for you, that you're going to be okay with everything."

This was good news, even if it would take some time to get back where he belonged. He would have to be at his best and work hard to prove himself. He could not slip up. And after Saturday, perhaps he would have answers.

It was not that Alan did not feel the weight of everything he was going through. The weight was always with him, like a hundred-pound rucksack strapped to his shoulders. But this was one of the rare moments he allowed himself to crumple under the weight in front of others. His eyes welled with tears and he was quick to wipe them away.

"I'm sorry," he said hastily. "I'm not sad—I'm glad you're giving me the opportunity. Thank you. I know I haven't been easy to deal with, and... I'm sorry."

His parents enveloped him, wrapping him in hugs, warm and tight, patting his back. Dinner would be late that evening.

Alan had to get his life back. Thanks to Muffy, he was well on his way. Now all he had to do was hold up his end of the bargain, and he would. He sat on the sofa and allowed his parents' love to wash over him, ignoring the tiny, quiet voice of his vicious inner monologue as it struggled to make its presence known.

Will you, though? it said somewhere far off. Will you really?


Muffy sat in front of her vanity, brushing her hair when the text alert sounded. Losing time with Chip had bummed her out despite her efforts to be happy for him, but hearing the sweet sound from her Infinity lifted her spirits. She knew exactly who it was. She could not help but smile at her reflection.

She had not agreed to help Alan because she believed he would get any real answers out of the séance. If going through the motions of keeping her end of the bargain got him one step closer to confessing his Lydia problems to Dr. Hartmann-Krause, then it was worth all the trouble. It was worth the stress. It was worth backsliding. It was worth standing by his side and helping him see it through.

Muffy did not trust Prunella. She expected more of her dramatic, hokey shtick, for her to tell Alan what he wanted to hear. That would not help Alan in any way, but maybe Dr. Hartmann-Krause could handle that. Once she reached home, a chilling thought occurred to her: What if Prunella used the second séance to torture Alan further? It had hit her hard enough to make her forget about Chip for a while.

Her first instinct had been to leave Prunella a scathing text, warning her that, unless she wanted to be miserable until she moved away from Elwood City, she had better play nice with Alan. She stopped herself, inhaled deeply, thought deeply, and then sent Prunella a request she hoped would not stoke her into hurting Alan anyway.

Please be kind to Alan. He's been through a lot already.

Prunella had not responded. After her blowup yesterday, Muffy had not really expected her to.

Muffy put down her brush and picked up the Infinity. As suspected, it was not a reply from Prunella, but a message from Alan.

We are on for Saturday. You were right.

Muffy typed her response as she left the vanity for her bed. She sent the message then fluffed her pillows, crawled in and snuggled up underneath her covers.

I know. Score one for Team Hot Mess.

Committed to that name, are you?

You don't like it?

I have a lot to tell you tomorrow.

An MTV special about the Deadlight movie, which was set to open Halloween weekend, played on her television. Muffy had been listening intently as she readied herself for bed, but now she found it much too loud. She reached for the remote on her nightstand and pressed MUTE. Jude Pendleton, who was giving an interview on the movie set in full Richard costume and makeup, moved his lips silently.

You're changing the subject.

It's fine. I like it fine.

You hate it. So is it good stuff? What you have to tell me?

I think it's promising.

Tell me now.

It's bedtime.

And I don't care. You said you feel freest to converse when you're with me.

I'm technically not with you.

Don't be a nitpicker, Zen Master. Be free. Converse.

There was a long pause.

All right.

To be continued…