TRIGGER WARNING! This chapter heavily references The Only Easy Day. This chapter also references a sexual assault and the exam that follows.
Vic volunteered to get Brock something to eat which left Trent and Clay to tell him Mandy was gone. Clay looked pointedly at Trent who subtly shook his head not yet ready for the ramifications of the information. In his mind he went over the possible outcomes not only to Brock's heart but also his recovery. Finally when he knew Vic would return too soon he took a deep breathe and nodded to Clay.
Sensing Trent's reluctance Clay cleared his throat. "Brock, uh we gotta tell you something." He looked away from his brother and contemplated his next words while Brock watched with concern.
"Mandy texted me in the night. She was reassigned. She's gone Brock." Trent's words cut through the room like a blade. His eyes locked on his brother.
Brock felt like he was back in the alley. The words hit him like a punch to the face. The burning in his chest reignited the healing stab wound. While he tried to measure his breathing he could feel his head slamming against the cobblestone with every beat of his heart.
Nodding his head slightly he bit his tongue until the dizziness ebbed and he was able to speak. "Okay." There was nothing else to say. Telling his brothers that this felt worse than dying wouldn't bring her back or make his hand feel less empty.
Trent watched as Brock locked away the news and tried not to break regretting his support of this mess. Brock, for all they saw still had a faith in humanity Trent was sure he himself had lost long ago. An innocence Trent was sure he never possessed to begin with. His brother believed in love still somehow. And Amanda Ellis may have just ended that.
"Okay? Are you okay, Brock?" Clay interrupted both of their thoughts.
"Yeah... just starting to wonder if Vic forgot where to bring the food back to and I swear if he shows up with a kale smoothie I'll kill him with this cast." Brock held up his casted right wrist to indicate his intention to murder the team's youngest member causing all three to laugh.
The day passed with his thoughts thousands of miles away in a place he couldn't name. Her laughter echoed within him and he longed to have her near but knew with everything in him thay she would return to him as soon as she was able. Brock knew running, he knew Mandy, and he knew the difference.
As the days and weeks passed slowly he grasped the memory of her hand in his. A lifeline to strength when all he felt was weak. At physical therapy he struggled and pushed and thought back to when he was her rock. To a time when without his hand she would have been lost. On his weakest days he desperately thought of her and remembered the way she looked at him as if he could do anything. And ever so slowly he began to believe that maybe he could.
After a particularly bad day at PT that left him feeling defeated he returned to Trent's house feeling almost broken. Trent had done his best to be encouraging and assure him that it would get easier with time and each session. Brock wanted to believe him. As he drifted to sleep he thought of Mandy and how disappointed she would be if he failed, how he wouldn't be the man she imagined he was if he couldn't even handle a rough day.
Trent watched as Brock slept restlessly on his couch instead of in the guestroom. For the first time in weeks Brock seemed to be breaking and he wasn't sure how that had happened or how to make it better. He had handled the news that Mandy was gone well, had throw himself into PT and OT and was excelling at both. And then today... well Trent wasn't sure what had happened today.
The slight rustle from the couch had both Cerb and Trent on their feet and moving to the living room. Brock was mumbling in his sleep. Trent stood in the doorway trying to decide whether to wake his brother or listen to the mumbles. Brock's movements in his sleep becoming more erratic make the decision for him.
He wasn't sure if it was Trent calling out or Cerberus whining that drew him from the nightmare. One instant he was in an exam room and the next in Trent's living room. One second his hand was held as if letting go would end the world and the next it was empty. If he let his eyes remain closed for a moment too long he could still see her in a paper gown, her shaking legs in stirrups, tears running from her tightly clenched eyes. So he opens his own eyes and looks to Trent.
Trent moved closer once it was obvious that Brock was awake. The worry in his posture radiated across the room. Brock couldn't do much to reassure him while struggling to regain control but gives him a small smile in an attempt.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Trent sat at the end of the couch.
Under his brother's watchful eyes Brock lied. "No, don't even remember what I dreamed." He honestly wanted to tell Trent everything. His brothers knew back then that staying with her had been unbearable but it was never his place to share her pain. Brock intentionally tried to avoid looking to Cerb as the lie left his lips. It was his tell and even he knew it but sometimes couldn't help looking for comfort from his canine best friend.
Trent nodded and they comfortably sat in silence. Watching Brock he could almost see the man rebuilding whatever had broken earlier in the day. He was sitting straighter than his broken ribs had allowed in weeks. His eyes seemed more focused. And when Brock turned to him it was almost as if he hadn't died in an alley thousands of miles away only to return stateside and be abandoned. Trent wanted to question the sudden turn around but feared doing so would somehow undo it. So instead he simply asked. "Dinner?"
"Yeah."
