Author's Note: As promised, the third and final installment of this arc. Not the end of the story, there is more to come!

Disclaimer: I do not nor have I ever owned Star Wars. I simply play in their world.

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Once upon a time in a galaxy far, far away...

Kylo Ren

"I guess...it's time for me to leave."

"You can't leave."

The words are out of my mouth on the heels of her soft declaration and she is already retreating from me.

She is worrying at her lip, arms folded about her body as if to ward of the pain she knows is coming.

I want her to stay. This day...I never dreamed it would be possible for someone like me.

All because of this woman.

I catch her eyes, luminous amber that steals my breath but only for a second, closing them as she shakes her head at me.

"Ben you know I can't stay," whispered words filled with yearning and sorrow, "You can't keep me here."

Actually I could. I control this world and one word, a simple command and she would be mine.

Mine to hold. To keep. To protect.

But Rey is a rare creature that I cannot keep in a cage. It would only break her spirit and that is never something I wanted for her.

So I will use logic, not emotion, to change her mind.

"Actually, for the time being, I can." Wariness in her eyes now, she is expecting some kind of trick, "No ship can leave this planet until morning."

Wariness swiftly turns to shock.

"Wait...what?"

I was right, she has little intel regarding this planet's rules and regulations. Her earlier comment about not knowing what the bells signified clued me in.

It was time to give her a bit of an education.

"The skies are monitored by my scouts as soon as night falls." I tell her, keeping my words calm, "Any ship caught trying to leave is immediately shot down."

I catch her eyes and hold them, cutting through the questions in her eyes with a single explanation.

"No exceptions."

Except, of course, there was one. My ship was the only one allowed to travel freely.

But I had no intention of telling Rey that.

"I don't understand, why?"

"To cut down on Resistance scouts trying to spy on First Order worlds."

"Oh."

A shuttered look on her face and I have no desire to speak further about the Resistance or the First Order.

I want her attention on one thing only.

Me.

"Rey," I lift my hand to her, casting all logic aside for this single gamble, "come here."

She is not so distant as to put us back into our assigned roles.

Her hand reaching for me as I pull her close, the heat of her body a tactile caress to my senses.

I rest my hand lightly on her waist, her fingers on my shoulders as she stares down at me with wounded eyes.

"Are you so eager to get away?"

Not the words I intended, but then I have come to learn that around Rey, my thinking is never a clear as I want it to be.

I cannot help the note of wistful longing in my voice. I feel as though I am constantly chasing this woman across the galaxy.

Longing and accusation now swirl in amber, sparking them into a melee at my question.

"I...that's not playing fair," a plaintive note in her response, "How can you expect me to answer that?"

Because I want her to chose me. I want my name to be in the echo of her heartbeat. I want to be the first thing she thinks about in the morning and the last when she lays down to sleep.

"I have no intention of 'playing fair' as you so eloquently put it," I will not lie to her and I see the flicker of awareness in her gaze at out close proximity and use it to my advantage, "You have to stay, at least until morning."

Now that she is here, now that I've spent an entire day with her by my side, I cannot imagine life without her.

She is...everything to me.

"I know," a reluctant agreement from her as she turns her gaze to the room we are in, "I can sleep on my ship and take off at first light."

"Let me stay with you."

I don't know who is more surprised by my response, Rey or myself.

But I will not take them back.

A slash of color across her face and it chases the haunted look from her eyes.

Desire warring with hesitation I now see.

"I..Ben what are you...I don't..."

I don't need the Force to sense the turmoil in her and I lift a finger to her soft mouth, effectively cutting off her stumbling words.

"I'm not asking to make love to you," the flair of arousal in her eyes is almost enough to make me rethink that decision, "when I take you as my lover," and I promise myself it will be soon, "it will not be on dilapidated starship."

She deserves better than that.

We both do.

I see her hand tremble as she pulls my finger from her lips. I allow it, so long as I can keep my hands on her waist.

Her response is to grip my vest in her fingers as she places them back on my shoulders.

Wide, vulnerable eyes meet mine as her pink tongue darts out to lick her lips.

That one, small gesture is enough to shatter my control but I hang on, just barely.

"So...if you don't want to," the color deepens across her fair skin and she will not call herself my lover, "then what are you asking?"

A good question that will leave us both vulnerable to each other with my response.

But I have to know the truth of her feelings. If she could accept me, all of me, after spending the entire day in my company.

"I want to hold you in my arms," naked longing I cannot hide from her, "I want to spend the night by your side."

Does she know how long I've dreamed about this?

It is an ache inside of me that never goes away, not after seeing her nightmares and the tears that dampen her pillow.

She doesn't immediately reject me and that small pause has me holding my breath.

I thought I knew what terror was. But nothing can compare to what I feel now, awaiting her answer to my question.

Glowing amber return to me and despite the delicate stain of color still on her face, she does not avert her gaze from mine.

"Yes," soft words from her lips, "you can stay."

I...had hoped she would say yes but hearing it...I feel like I'm caught in a dream again.

I tug her to me, catching her so she tumbled onto the bed, her legs spilling over my lap as I pin her to the bed.

A startled squeak from her at my actions and though it is adorable, I never knew she could make a sound like that, I will not be diverted.

"Be sure about this Rey," I tell her, the spill of her hair across the bed a temptation I cannot ignore and I crush the silken strands beneath my hand, "I want no regrets from you in the morning."

I will not make love to her, I promised us both, but I will have her in my arms.

I won't accept any protests in the morning that I somehow tricked her into letting me stay.

This must be her choice.

I want her to chose me.

I can feel my body shaking that she will reject me. Again.

She is looking up at me, not with anger or hesitation, but tender sweetness that is my undoing.

Fingers touching my face, the caress lighter than air and the slight curve of her lips hold me captive.

"There won't be. I'm not a child," no she was definitely not a child, "and I may not be wise in the way of men but I know I want you to stay."

Dark satisfaction winds its way through me at her words. She has never known another man's touch, except mine.

It will only ever be mine.

I want to kiss her, her mouth a lush invitation and her eyes a searing promise...but I find myself hesitating.

I want her so much I am shaking with it...but I don't want to hurt her.

Not now. Not here in this moment between us.

My Rey shows no such reserve as she lifts her head, despite my grip in her hair, and presses her mouth to mine.

My control slips through the chains of my restraint and I drown in the taste of her.

Her mouth on mine, her nails raking through my hair as I press her into the bed.

I want more, I need more.

My fingers find the edge of her top, her skin warm and smooth to my touch and I'm telling myself I am pushing too hard, too fast for her.

My fingers dig into her hips, trying to slow down and she gasps into my mouth, arching into me.

Cradling my body with her own and I am lost.

"Rey," her skin is my ambrosia and I cannot get enough of it as I slide my lips down her neck.

I want her to crave my touch, to feel only the pleasure I can give her.

I push her top higher, my fingers stroking her skin as her hips grind into me and I find the delicate arch of her neck.

My teeth bite down, none to gently.

"Ben," nails digging into my scalp and my name a sweet pleading on her lips.

It is that pleading that pulls back the madness of desire, pushing me closer to the edge.

I snap my head up, trying to regain some of my sanity, I feel delirious in her arms.

Glowing amber awash in desire stare back at me.

I have to remember how to breath, let alone speak.

"This," I'm having trouble forming words as smoldering eyes continue to steal my control, "is not...what I had in mind."

Another minute or two and I would have removed her top to get at the rest of her skin.

"No?"

A sensual tease in her voice, tilting her head so that her neck is exposed to me, her mouth holding a thousand secrets in that smile she casts my way.

Innocence and desire.

She is making it impossible for me to remember why I don't want to take her here and now.

I close my eyes against the temptation lying so sweetly beneath me.

"Rey," I am the one pleading with her now, "I'm trying...to be good."

She shouldn't have kissed me, I might have been able to hold back.

Her fingers leave my hair and the loss makes me want to drag her back into my arms and disregard my earlier promise.

But I don't. I may not have much honor left in me, but I still have this.

"Maybe," snarly words that are decidedly grumpy have me opening my eyes, "you shouldn't have tumbled me onto the bed."

Her eyes are closed, arms folded across her chest and her lips pressed firmly together.

She looks...displeased with my decision to stop.

But no longer filled with the tension from earlier.

I leave my hand resting on her hip, I cannot let go of her just yet.

Eyelashes lifting, swirling amber still glowing as she glares at me.

Even now, when I am burning for her, I can still feel amusement.

"Well at least you don't look so nervous now."

A flair of brightness at my words as she she propping herself up on her elbows to look at me.

"So this was for my benefit?"

The disbelief in her voice tells me that she isn't fooled by my response.

However I have no intent of telling her how much she can shatter my control with a single look.

She is scowling at me and just like that she pulling her legs from my lap.

"Well, since we've decided your staying," cool words that cannot hide her annoyance make me want to tumble her back onto my lap, "I'm going to get ready for bed."

She's on her feet with her back to me...but not moving.

I am curious as to why she's stopped when she speaks, the lilt of her voice hesitant.

"Just, um, what do you wear for bed?"

A practical question...except for the blush creeping back over her face as she looks at me once more.

She can kiss me, let me stroke her skin until we are both burning...yet turns oddly shy when asking what I wear for bed.

Alluring innocence that makes my vision turn a hazy red and I cannot help but tease her.

"Very little."

Let her make of that what she will.

The color deepening on her face and I feel the flair of curiosity as to what she could be thinking to put that particular gleam in her eyes.

"I'll, um, see what I can find."

"Find?"

I was teasing her, I planned on sleeping in the shirt and pants I now wore but her words steal the amusement from me.

Her back no longer to me and she's waving at hand, indicating to the clothes I still had on.

"I'm not sleeping with you if you're going to be covered in blood," tart words that have me glancing down, surprised that she is correct about the stains, "and since I doubt you have a change of clothes on you," smug words now, "I'll see what I can find."

She told me she came here alone.

"You have spare clothes..for men on your ship."

The thought of Rey traveling on this small ship with another male, alone, spikes my temper.

There are only two males that she is frequently seen with and I care for neither one.

"Probably," distracted words as she turns to walk away, "I have almost everything else."

I am off the bed and wrapping her up in my arms, pressing her hard enough to me that she cannot escape.

She looks up, confusion on her lovely face.

"What's wrong?"

I am not in the mood for her evasions, or her willingness to defend her...friends at the smallest sign of danger.

Not when she is about to share her bed with me.

"Why do you spare clothes for men on your ship?"

I am still leashing my temper, I don't want to start a fight, but I will have the answer as to why she would keep clothes for the one they call Finn, or Dameron, with her.

I expect anger from her, even suspicion that I am ready to deflect.

Not the sudden flair of delight in her eyes that leaves me off balance.

"Are you...jealous?"

I don't get jealous...but the animosity I feel towards the males her life is not something I can quickly disregard.

"I," I'm choosing my words carefully now, "don't like the thought of wearing one of your companions clothing." I will not have her see me as just another male in her life, another friend, "I think I would rather sleep naked."

She's trembling in my arms now and refusing to look at me and I wonder at the abrupt change.

"Not necessary," I know that tone now, she only ever sounds like this when she is aroused, "The clothes are from the old captain who used to own this ship."

Not her friends clothing, but a strangers.

That mollifies me somewhat, but I am still aware of the desire in her voice.

I can only think of one reason she sounds this way.

When I spoke of sleeping naked. My Rey might be an innocent when it comes to men, but she seems more than a little interested in me.

She could have said something about the previous captain's clothing earlier, but chose to make me believe it was something else entirely.

I lean close, letting my lips hover just above her ear.

"You wouldn't lie to me would you Rey?"

I let my desire for her slip into my words and feel the change in her.

A subtle shift of her body, pressing up against me even as she refuses to meet my eyes.

"N-no," again that breathless response, more than aware of me " Now let go so I can change and get you some fresh clothes." Desperation in her voice and I cannot help but tighten my grip around her.

She turns now to look at me now, wrinkling her nose to hide the tell-tale blush I can still see, "You're starting to stink."

It's a ploy, I know it is, but I cannot help but remember I am still covered in blood and my hold on her loosens.

She is out of my arms so quickly I barely have time to blink.

Perhaps it wasn't a ploy after all.

Looks like I need to do something about that. I didn't want Rey to look at me and see only blood and violence.

Her back is to me and I somewhat regret my teasing words from earlier.

"Do I have the lady's permission to use her shower?"

I may not talk to my mother any longer...but I can still use the manners she demanded I learn.

I wonder if it will work...and she is turning back to me and I silently thank my mother for those lessons she forced onto me.

However she is staring at me with ill-concealed suspicion at my obviously polite tone.

"You said I smelled...unpleasant."

A gentle reminder of why she left my arms without sounding crass.

A frown on her lips, but not at my words.

She is staring at my injured hand she helped wrap.

"You'll need to coat the bandages against the water...the spray is in the medkit."

If she is worrying about the water...

"So that's a yes?" l will take nothing for granted from her.

A nod of her head an almost inaudible sigh, "Go ahead. I'll knock when I find you some clothes." Practical words but her next are soft, almost embarrassed, "I'll leave them in the bathroom for you so you can change."

Before I can reply, she is already leaving the sleeping quarters.

I have to remember that what I am asking for is new to Rey.

It is new for me as well. I have never shared my life so intimately with another person.

At least not since I was child and that was a different sort of intimacy.

The bathroom is sparse, a small shelf for towels and a mirror with a basin and storage beneath it.

A small cubicle to the side where the shower is held, the glass opaque for privacy.

The medkit is on the sink where she left it out and I take out the spray and coat my hand.

I will not ruin Rey's kindness towards me, even when I've had worse wounds than a few lacerations that required no medical attention.

I strip out of the borrowed clothing, letting them fall where they will. I'll gather them up later as I press the sequence to start the shower.

The pipes are old as I hear them rattle with the pressure from the water and quickly let the spray fall over me.

Heat unlocking my muscles and I can only stand there, the water pouring over me.

This has been, without a doubt, the strangest day of my life.

Impossibly wonderful, but strange.

Like I was living the life of another person.

A person...who had the right to claim Rey for his own.

I thought Ben Solo dead, burned out by the Sith, but I was wrong. He wasn't dead, merely buried.

Brought back to life by a woman with sunlight in her smile, in her voice.

A muffled voice outside the door and it can only be one person.

"Come in," I call out to her wondering if she can hear me at all.

I feel the cool brush of air as the door slides open.

Though the glass is opaque, I can see the shadow outline of her.

"Your...um, clothes. I left them on the sink."

I can hear her quite clearly now...and her embarrassment about being in here while I'm showering.

A slight, rustling sound as her shadow sways beyond the glass.

"Thank you Rey," I have to close my eyes before I do something really stupid, like pull her in here with me, "I'll be out momentarily."

"Okay. Sure. Whenever your done."

Stumbling words, the sweet caress of her voice over my skin and I hear the door slide shut.

I am breathing hard, my fist clenched and resting on the wall as I dial the pad so that icy water pours over me.

The shock of cold on my skin is enough to quell the rising heat in my blood.

I no longer have a desire to linger, now that I have suitable clothing and quickly step out, toweling off the excess water.

I wonder what she found for me and can only shake my head at her resources.

The pants she found are loose and not dissimilar to what I normally wear in my private quarters.

I also notice that my previous clothing has disappeared, no doubt Rey trying to be thoughtful by taking care of it.

I haven't had anyone look after my well being for a long time and it still comes as a surprise that she does.

I wish she would let me do the same for her.

The clothing fits well enough that I can step out of the bathroom without shocking Rey.

She is sitting on the bed facing the door, a distracted look in her eyes.

The bundle of clothing in her hands is entirely forgotten as she stares at me.

She is all wide-eyes, her mouth falling slightly open as she gazes at me.

The flair of burning amber, the slow sweep of her eyes as she takes in every cut, every scar etched into my flesh.

I am what I am, marked by war and violence.

Her eyes lift to mine and the smoldering heat in her gaze is enough to bring me to my knee's.

"Rey."

I don't know what I would have done next if she hadn't jumped from the bed like a startled creature.

"I'm going to shower." desperate words as she rushes past me, the click of the lock loud in the silence that follows.

I can only sit heavily on the bed, staring at the thin steel that separates us.

I asked to stay, my only thought wanting to be with her...and now I wonder if I'm not making things worse between us because of it.

I listen to the water with half a mind, unable to leave the bed. Unable to leave the room.

Waiting on Rey to emerge...and figure out where we go from here.

The silence of the water has me tensing on the bed and it is a lifetime, or perhaps only seconds, when the door finally slides open.

Alluring innocence. I never truly understood the concept...until now.

Her hair appears more auburn than sable, darkened by the water and rich with waves that tumble around her shoulders.

Skin kissed by the heat of the water, a dusky rose that seems to glow in this dim light.

Her clothing is simple, a top with thin straps and shorts that show off the lovely shape of her legs.

I have seen countless women in elaborate gowns and not one of them can compare to Rey the way she is now.

Beautiful and without artifice, eyes like living jewels that speak of the soul behind the flesh.

Eyes that look at with me with such heartbreaking bewilderment.

"I...I don't know how to do this." A hushed confession, her hands close to her chest, grasping something I cannot see.

I don't need to ask her the meaning behind her cryptic statement.

"Neither do I."

What did I know of sharing my life with someone? A handful of childhood memories, lost in a lifetime of war and the endless spill of blood.

I wonder if I am just fooling myself with all of this. Grasping at something that can never be mine in truth.

"You don't?"

Fragile hope in her eyes, that she is no alone in this and I can only shake my head and offer her the truth.

I believe dying would be less painful that what I am about to confess to her.

"I've never shared my life like this...with anyone," I feel my soul stripped bare before her eyes, "You are the first, Rey. The only one."

This feeling inside of me...I believe I have waited my entire life for her. Just so I could feel the way I do now, with her.

"You too," she murmurs and moves as though in a dream towards my side, her hands still close to her chest, "I don't," stilted words and I am afraid she will pull away from me but she takes a silent breath and offers me a glimpse of a smile, "no one see's me like this. Not Poe, not Finn."

"Just you."

She and I stare at each other and nothing has changed between us.

Everything has changed.

"What's in your hand?" I give a nod of my head, trying to find any excuse to breath around this odd tension between us.

"Oh, this?" confusion as she looks down before answering, "I need to get the tangles out of my hair," a rueful smile on her lips, "it's a mess."

I think she looks beautiful but I sense this is part of her nighttime ritual. An act of normalcy on what has been a rather unusual day for the both of us.

"Let me do that for you," she has taken care of me twice and now I want to take care of her.

She is standing there, staring at me as I lift my hand for her to give me the object in her hand.

"Please."

We've done this before, she and I. I fear it will be the same answer all over again.

Except she's already placing the object in my hand, a comb, and for a moment our fingers touch.

I blink, memories overlapping but I snap out of it and move back on the bed so she has room to sit.

She brings the scent of sunlight and flowers with her, vibrantly fresh, as she settles between my legs.

The old cot groans beneath our weight, but nothing more. I have no fear that it will collapse in the middle of the night with us still in it.

Cool, damp strands between my fingers as I slide the teeth through her hair.

A rhythmic motion, and I feel her beginning to relax at last. My concentration is on her hair, a lulling pleasure that is almost trance-like.

A shift on the bed, her hair pulling from my fingers as she rest her head on her her knee's.

She doesn't ask me to stop and I resume my pleasurable task. There are no more tangles, her hair a silken sheet down her back and I set the comb aside just so I can run my fingers through the shiny mass.

Her breath is soft and even, the tension that is so much a part of her, missing now.

Gently I move forward, the touch of her skin against mine a sweet pleasure and she does not startle as I pull her into my arms.

I am already pulling the heavy weight of her hair to the side to expose the nape of her neck.

I am already drunk on her scent as I press my lips to her skin, unable to resist her allure.

A murmur of pleasure from her lips as I slide my arm around her, pulling her fully onto the bed, laying her by my side.

She comes willingly, my arm her pillow as she glances up at me.

Muted amber meet mine as strands fall over them.

I am already brushing them away, fascinated by the expression on her face.

"Hi."

Soft, lilting word accompanied with a gentle smile and nothing in the universe could move me from her side in this moment.

"Hi."

The gentle smile blooms on her face as she presses her hand over my injured one, content to simply be touching me.

Her other is already lifting to stroke my hair, the delight on her face so apparent I can find no reason to stop her.

"Thank you for brushing my hair."

My pulse jumps at her words, no shyness now, only a small hum of quiet happiness from her.

"You're welcome," a pause as I remember the her response to my 'please', "thank you for letting me."

Her smile is my reward and no more words are spoken between us.

I managed to shift her close to the wall, my body will be her shield should anyone attempt to take this ship with us on it.

Not that I expect such actions, but I will be ready nonetheless.

I have never been more aware of another living person than I am right now.

The weight of her head and the spill of her hair across my arm. The heat from her body, pressed up against mine.

The scent of sunlight and the exotic bloom of a flower from her skin.

I can tell from her eyes, the soft glow, that she is aware of me.

It is enough. For now.

Her mouth opens...into a yawn that cracks her jaw.

Smudges beneath her eyes speak of the long days she has had.

"You need to sleep." A command, but a gentle one.

"So do you." That was not a request, but an order.

"I rarely sleep more than a few hours." Just enough to keep me from burning out and make me vulnerable to my enemies.

"Not tonight."

I know that stubborn glint in her eye as she turns on her side, surprising me by keeping our fingers entwined.

I have two choices. Let go of her hand...or follow her movement.

My choice is already made as I move to pull her into my arms, curving my body around hers.

A light blanket on the bed, but the ship is warm and our combined body heat is more than sufficient to stave off the chill.

The mere touch of her skin is enough to burn me alive.

She shifts again, adjusting her body until she is nestled perfectly in my arms.

"Good night...Ben." My name a sigh on her lips as her breathing changes, becoming low and even, her body pliant against mine.

If there is a heaven, then this must surely be it.

I press my lips to her temple, a suffusing warmth invading me.

"Good night...my Rey."

I thought to stay awake, to guard her dreams but already I feel my body becoming heavy with sleep.

The sound of her breathing, the scent of her surrounding me colors my dreams with vivid clarity.

Something is disturbing my sleep. A sense that I am not alone.

I feel a warmth next to my side, breathe in sunlight and flowers, feel a feathered caress across my skin.

Wide-eyes, glowing softly...the spill of silken hair over my arm...the heat of her body nestled in my arms...

Memories from the previous day come back.

There is only one I would allow this close to me in my unguarded state.

Rey.

That gentle caress stops as sleep beckons, but her touch resumes and find I am more interested in the woman than rest.

She doesn't appear to notice I am awake and bone-deep pleasure at her loving touch keeps me from moving.

Until she presses a tender kiss to mouth and I cannot help but pull her to me, my craving for her undiminished from last night.

Unable to resist any longer, I open my eyes to the most beautiful sight I have ever seen.

Liquid amber, framed by dark lashes, stare back at me. Strands of sable kissed by fire tumble around her face, a dark frame for the perfect glow of her skin.

I believe I have lived my entire life waiting for this moment in time.

She is so beautiful...and mine.

Utterly and without a doubt, mine.

"Good morning." Just barely above a whisper, her fingers stroking my lips and I have never seen a more tender look on her face and it is all for me.

"Good morning." I press a kiss to her fingers, luxuriating in the fact that she is reaching out to me of her own choice.

But that beautiful light in her eyes is dimming and I cannot help but wonder if she is already having second thoughts.

Before I can even frame the question she is pressing her mouth back to mine, her hands cupping my face with such gentleness, I am undone.

Her mouth trembles as I slide my fingers into her hair, needing her more than I've needed anything in my life.

But it is the press of her body, the way her fingers hold me close and her mouth claiming mine that show me that she has no regrets.

I never knew she could be this bold with her affections.

Our mouths part, she has made me more than a trifle breathless and laughter spills out of me.

"If I knew I was going to wake up to this sort of greeting," I cannot help but trace the lush, softness of her mouth, "I would have woken sooner."

I thought to make her laugh, to share this moment with her...and I see a single tear slide down her face, followed by another and another.

My amusement vanishes. Did I somehow hurt her in the night and not remember?

"Rey, what is it?"

The tears fall faster now and I can only pull her in my arms.

"What's wrong? Please don't cry Rey," My fingers stroke her hair, her face buried in my chest and I can feel the warm, wetness of her tear striking my skin, "I'm here. It's all right, I'm here."

I have no idea what's causing her anguish until she lifts her head, spiked lashes still dripping tears.

"Ben," my name a choked sound on her lips, "it's morning."

I don't understand her meaning...for all of two seconds.

"sleep on my ship...take off at first light..."

Her words from last night and I am wide awake now.

She is trying to tell me good-bye.

"No."

The word is a vicious growl from my throat as I pull her back in my arms, burying my face in the clean, scent of her skin.

It can't end like this.

I won't let it end like this.

I pull my head up, tears still swimming in her eyes and I take her mouth.

I will burn away her tears, her sorrow until the only thing that remains is me.

She yields beneath me, her nails digging into my back and that sweet pain has me rolling on top of her, pinning her with my body.

There is no space between us, I can feel every inch of her beneath me and it is not enough.

It will never be enough.

I lift my head, her mouth swollen from my attention...and the sorrow in her eyes is clearer than ever.

Her hands caress my bare skin, resting on my face and it feels as though she is trying to rip my heart out.

The words from her mouth do exactly that.

"I have to leave," soft pleading in her voice, "I can't stay. I've been gone too long and they'll come looking for me."

They. The Resistance. Her so-called friends. The one's she considers a part of her.

She can't stay...she won't stay, because of them.

Because, in the end, she will always choose them over me.

"So...this is my punishment," I can barely breathe past the fact that she is going to walk away from me again, ""to keep losing you."

Because I chose a different path to follow.

I chose the path of Kylo Ren...and somehow, between yesterday and today, I had forgotten that.

But no longer. I open my eyes...and no longer see my Rey, the woman who had held my hand and kissed me with such bold affection, but a woman of the Resistance.

It is more than I care to tolerate.

I roll off of her, getting to my feet.

She is no longer my Rey and I cannot be in that bed...and remember how she trustingly slept in my arms, soft and yielding.

"I'll leave first," there is a heavy weight where my heart is suppose, a wound that continues to bleed, "you can go shortly after that."

She bandaged my hand, that single act of kindness I will repay by letting her leave.

"Ben," anguish, pleading...and something else as she calls out that name.

"That name is no longer appropriate," I tell her, it was time I remember who I was, "I am...Kylo Ren."

The Supreme Leader.

The Jedi Killer.

I hear the catch in her breath, a choked cry and I leave the room.

She wants Ben Solo in that bed with her...and I am not that man.

I never was...and I never will be.

The ship is a relic I first believed it to be as I look around, giving Rey time to...leave.

It is no wonder my scouts never spotted her. I had them looking for the Millennium Falcon, not this antique piece of machinery.

If this is what the Resistance were using to get around, then I am no longer surprised why they keep evading our nets.

I brace my arm against the hull...and let the thoughts fade as I can no longer ignore the pain that is threatening to tear me apart.

Rey...what do I have to do to prove myself to you?

What would it take to make her see that her place is with me.

"You...you can't leave like that."

Her voice, wrapping around my soul, cutting myself on the ragged edges.

No, I suppose I couldn't walk off her ship, dressed only in a pair of pants.

"I'm aware."

There is no use prolonging the inevitable. I will have to put back on the blood-stained smugglers clothing after all.

She is standing there in the door...dressed like the Jedi I know her to be.

But her eyes give me pause.

There is no wariness in them, only fragile longing and I cannot help but be drawn back to them.

She is holding something in her hand...the shirt she bought for Ben Solo at the market.

Why would she bring that me, of all times?

"You don't have your regular clothing," she lifts the shirt to me like an offering, "but this might help."

She bought that shirt when I was playing the role of Ben Solo...but I told her I am not that man and still she offers me the gift.

That wound bleeding into my soul...the edges are no longer so sharp.

"Will you put it on me?"

I should have just take then shirt and be done with it...but I don't.

I want to feel her one last time.

Tears, bright and shiny in her gaze, but they do not fall as she nods her head.

I lower mine, I'm too tall for her to slip the shirt over my head otherwise, and feel her hands move slowly over me.

I am tormenting myself with this one, last lingering touch from her and yet I would have it no other way.

The shirt fits better than I expected, the material just the right length to keep close to my body.

I slip on the boots, tucking the edges of the pants into the flaps, and it is close enough to what I wear beneath my armor that I can walk off the ship with minimal fuss.

But there is only one way to be sure.

I look up at Rey, who is standing off to the side, arms loose at her side.

"Well?"

She comes to me, fingers trembling as she pushes my hair away from my face.

Before I can do more than blink at the unexpected contact, she is already moving away from me.

"You look like...Kylo Ren."

Resignation and more than a hint of sorrow at the acknowledgment.

Since that it what I was expecting I shouldn't feel disappointment at her words.

But I do.

We stare across the distance and the irony is a bitter one.

I, the First Order and she, the Resistance.

Her fingers touch the keypad, her eyes never leaving my face as she lowers the walkway.

It was time for me to leave...and yet I stand here, hesitating.

Hoping to hear something from her...something of her feelings for me, Kylo Ren, and not the role I played.

But there is only silence and I have no more excuses. I turn away from her, the bright daylight nearly an insult to the darkness inside of me.

"Ren!"

I'm already turning at the frantic cry, catching her as she runs into my arms, her mouth pressed firmly against mine.

She called my name.

She is stealing the breath from my lungs and I give it up willingly to her.

"Rey," her name a prayer on my lips, as she kisses me again, "Rey."

"Ren," I can feel her scalding tears as she buries herself in my arms, "I'll come back." She is openly weeping in my arms, letting me hold her and her words are like a balm to my torn soul, "I promise, I'll come back to you."

I crush her to me and I swear that this will the be last time I let her leave me.

"I'll be waiting," I tell her, my lips pressed against her cheek, "so don't make it too long...or I'll come find you myself."

It didn't matter who she was with or if she was on the other side of the galaxy, I would find her.

But she is already nodding her head, agreeing with me and that small movement is the only reason I force myself to let go of her.

Our fingers are still touching, tangled in each other...and I have to move away, letting her go.

Only when I am off the gangplank, a far distance from the ship, do I dare look back.

The shadows of the ship have enveloped her, but even so, I can still see her face.

Sorrow and something else as she gazes back at me...and then I turn away, our time together over with.

Temporarily.

"Sir you need to..."

The dock master, coming up beside me and I pin him with my stare. I am in no mood to deal with mindless bureaucracy right now.

I have something else that needs to be done.

"Take me to the Control Tower. Now."

"I..."

My hand is already lifting as I close the air to his lungs.

"I am Kylo Ren and you will do as I say."

I release him only when his face turns red and give him but a fraction of a second to recover.

"R-right this way. S-sir!"

The tower, as I expected, wasn't located far from the shipyard and I enter the main communication room.

"What is the...Supreme Leader!"

As I thought, Lieutenant Eusebia is here. I noted the fact that she has been checking the ships that come in and out of port as part of her daily routine.

"A ship called the Recovery will be requesting clearance to leave shortly, give it to her."

"But Sir protocol dictates..."

My ire must have shown clearly because she stops the watchtower from making a fatal mistake by trying to correct me.

"I will personally see to it, Supreme Leader. Are there any other instructions I should know about?"

I almost tell her no...then rethink that decision.

"Find out where their next destination is and note it in the logs."

She nods and as I expected, Rey's voice cuts clearly across the comm only minutes later.

"Control this is the Recovery, requesting permission to leave."

The Lieutenant looks at me and I give a nod for her to proceed.

"Recovery this is Control, do you have cargo to declare?"

"Negative Control, no cargo this time."

"One moment Recovery," Eusebia pauses the transmission to look at me, "do we proceed Sir? A cargo ship without cargo is...suspicious."

"Proceed Lieutenant. I trust I need not remind you what happens to those who disobey my orders?"

She is quickly shaking her head and responding to Rey's request.

"You are clear to leave. Destination?"

A pause as static fills the air.

"Rendezvous on the planet Sinta."

Another planet controlled by the First Order and I knew it to be a lie.

I had not expected differently but I do suspect that she is headed somewhere near that planet.

"Coordinates confirmed, you are free to go."

I leave the control tower, moving towards the observation deck as I see a single ship depart this early in the morning.

It could only be Rey.

I have but to envision her, confident at the controls, already plotting her course to the stars.

Rey.

For a moment I can feel her again in my arms as I trace her lips with my fingers...and then it is gone.

Ren.

Her voice, inside my mind, whispering my name with an aching tenderness.

I could feel her love for me in that one, fleeting touch and prayed that she could feel mine just as strongly for her.

The Force would be there binding us together.

It was only a matter of time before Rey realized the truth of this as well.