Lily laid awake, staring up at the ceiling. She was tangled up with Happy who was snoring softly. The sun was starting to peak through the curtain. She tried her best not to think about the shit storm she was about to cause.

Instead, she tried to imagine what kind of house she wanted to buy in Charming. How it would feel to share it with Happy. She knew they would end up getting a dog. Hap had always talked about getting a dog, but couldn't justify it since he didn't have enough space in his tiny apartment.

They would need a big yard, maybe even a pool. A big shop would be nice to be able to work on bikes and other projects. They would need a couple extra bedrooms incase anybody needed to stay with them. privacy would be a must, considering what line of work they dealt in.

She wouldn't start looking until Clay was taken care of. She didn't want to jinx herself. There was a possibility that after this she wouldn't be welcome in Charming anymore.

"You good?" Hap asked, his voice full of sleep.

She looked down at him. He was laying on his stomach. The sheet was covering just his waist. All of his tattoos on his back were in full view. Her hand dropped down to his head and traced the snake that was coiled around.

"Yeah," She whispered. "Just preparing for today."

"Jax will understand."

"I'm gonna turn his world upside down, and then I'm not going to give him a choice now it gets handled," She said looking back to the ceiling.

"He's gonna have to bring it to the table."

Her eyes went back to his."What are you gonna vote?"

"Club comes first," he said automatically. "But Clay didn't follow that. So he will meet Mr. Mayhem."

She smirked. "You're not just saying that because you're sleeping with me, right?"

"I would be doing this before we started fucking."

This caused her to smile. Happy may be a pyscho killer, but he was loyal. "My pussy is just an added bonus," She teased.

"And that ass," he grinned reaching for her butt.

She laughed and tried to move away from him, but failed. His grip on her wasn't letting her go anywhere. So instead, she settled against his chest.

"So are we going totalk about what happened last night, or are we gonna just forget about it?" she asked.

Immediately, he pulled away from her. "Don't need to talk about it," he said.

She scoffed. "If I remember correctly, you were the one that wanted to talk about it later," she said as she sat up and leaned against the headboard. His dark eyes looked up at her. "I know you're not just the scary biker everyone else sees. I know you feel emotions. You forget that I've known you longer and better than anyone else."

He grumbled something under his breath that made Lily raise her eyebrows. She got out of bed and started getting dressed.

"Look, I know you had an issue with me hanging on Koz; just like I had an issue with the croweater hanging on you. The only difference is I haven't fucked Kozik," she said pointedly. She slipped her shirt over her head. "It's a two way street, Hap. If you don't want me touching anybody else, then I expect the same from you." She started to leave.

"Lily," he called after her. She didn't stop. He jumped out of bed and pulled on his jeans. She was halfway out the front door when he came out into the living room. "God dammit, Lily! Stop!"

She shut the door and turned around. "What?" she said, putting her hands on her hips.

" I... you know I'm not good with this kind of shit," he said. "This is different than anything I've done before. I'm just trying to figure out what I want. And if that is commitment, then we'll figure it out."

"Like figuring what to out what to do with the blonde sweet butt?"

"Do you hear yourself? You're jealous of a croweater."

"And you're jealous of fucking Kozik."

They both stared at eachother. Neither one moving. Finally, Hap crossed the room to her. He wanted to take her in his arms, but he was afraid that she would hit him.

"You are different. You make me different," he forced out.

She looked up at him through her lashes. Things had changed. they had changed She closed the gap between them and slid her arms around his neck. "We'll figure this out." His hands rested on her hips. "But no more sweet butts."

He flashed a smile. "Only when I'm with you."

She laughed and rolled her eyes. "I don't think anyone else deserves your dick."

"Then no one else gets your pussy." he said, pulling her hips closer.

Her hands went down to his chest. She traced the lines of his tattoos. "We'll figure out our feelings after Clay dies."


Lily sat outside Jax's house in her car. It was early, but Gemma's car in the driveway meant that the boys were probably up.

She looked over to the journals that were sitting on her passenger seat. They held all the answers. Everything she has fought for was because of what was on those pages. She took a deep breath, and then stuffed them all into her backpack.

Grabbing her backpack, she got out of the car and quickly crossed the street. She stood at the door and slowly brought her hand up to knock.

The door swung open revealing Gemma. Lily could hear the boys playing somewhere in the house.

"Uh, is Jax home?" Lily asked, suddenly having a flashback to her childhood.

Gemma placed her hands on her hips, her eyes narrowing.

"Ma, who is it?" Jax asked, coming around the corner. He grinned when he saw it was her. "Leela, you're up early. What's up?"

"I was hoping I could talk to you."

He glanced to Gemma, who huffed and walked away. Jax stepped outside. "What's going on?"

"Actually, could we go somewhere?" she said, rocking on her heels. "There's shit I need to tell you."

He was quiet as he slowly realized that she was finally going to tell him everything. "Yeah, let me just grab my stuff."

He left the door open as he went to get ready. Lily followed him inside. Gemma was trying to get the boys to eat breakfast.

Abel saw Lily and his breakfast was forgotten. "Miss Leela!" He ran over to her and hugged her.

"Hey, buddy," Lily said, kneeling down. "What's up?"

"I want to play Legos, but Grandma won't let me," he pouted.

Lily laughed. "Legos are the best, but I'm sure your grandma has a good reason."

"She wants me to eat breakfast because I have to go to school."

"Well, then you definitely need to eat breakfast. You can't be hungry at school. You gotta learn all the things," Lily said.

"I don't like school."

Lily chewed on her lip. "Can I tell you a secret?" Abel nodded enthusiastically. "I didn't like school very much either, but my dad made me go. And I'm glad he did because I learned so much."

"What did you learn?" Abel asked.

"You are going to have to go to school and find out for yourself," she said poking him in the belly.

He giggled and ran back to his breakfast. Lily stood up and turned around. Jax was leaning against the doorframe watching her.

"How long have you been standing there?" she said, brushing her hair behind her ear.

"Long enough," he smirked. "You're good with him."

She snorted. "If you say so." She stuffed her hands into her back pockets. "You ready to get out of here?"

Jax nodded. He went over to the boys and kissed both of their heads. "I got to go take care of some things with Aunt Leela. Be good." Both boys giggled as he ruffled their hair. Jax then went to Gemma. He kissed her cheek.

"Be careful, baby," Gemma said at she met Lily's eyes.

Lily followed Jax out to his bike. "You got a place in mind?" he asked as he gave her his spare helmet.

"Do you remember the place we use to go to make out sometimes? The spot by the lake?"

He smirked. "How could I forget." He climbed onto his bike and she followed.


They stopped at a small grassy area near the edge of the lake. It was almost just the same as she remembered. All you could hear was the soft sounds of the water rolling up onto the shore.

Jax watched her as she took in her surroundings. Her boots were about to get wet if she got any closer to the water.

She took a deep breath and turned to Jax. "A lot of what I'm going to tell you is going to be very hard to believe. But I swear on everything that I can, that every bit of it is the truth."

He nodded. "I trust you, Leela. Just tell me what happened and why you stayed away from Charming."

"Clay is the reason our dads are dead, and I couldn't be in Charming without killing him," she said quickly.

"Jesus Christ," he hissed. "How... how do you know?"

She pulled the journals out of her backpack. "My dad was a fanatic about journaling. He wrote everything down," she said. "When he died, he left them to me. Along with every letter he received from JT."

"Before your dad died, he sent these to Isaiah." She pulled out the letters. "He told him about his suspicions of Gemma cheating on him with Clay, and finding his bike had been tempered with. A week later, he was hit by the semi."

Jax took the letters and scanned through them. It was his dad's handwriting staring back at him. "Why would Clay kill them?"

"After Thomas died, JT and Isaiah wanted to change the direction of the club. They realized how important family was, and running guns for the Irish wasn't safe for anyone. Clay wasn't happy about losing the cash flow."

"That's no secret," he said.

She nodded. "Once I got old enough, my father started to prepare me to take over Tacoma eventually. It's one of the reasons he brought me to Charming every time he came. He wanted me to understand how the club worked better than anyone. When we would get home, he would question me about everything that happened, and then he would ask what I would've done differently. It became this whole thing. I knew more about club dealings than some members.

"I was around 16 when I went with the club to deal with some business. Clay lost his shit. He couldn't understand how they were letting me be privy to that much club information. They understood where he was coming from, but it was when he started saying that women belonged in the kitchen that Isaiah and JT shuy that sexist shit down. Clay stopped talking about it around my my dad and JT, but it was no secret that he hated how much I knew about the club.

"Not long after that, JT died, and then SAMCRO started to change. Tacoma wasn't involved with Charming as much anymore."

"How did Clay kill Isaiah? He was in prison."

"Isaiah was arrested because someone tipped off the boarder patrol. Only a handful of people knew about it. Clay was one of them. Then when Isaiah was finally gonna get released, Clay paid a prisoner to kill him."

He was quiet for a long time. She turned back to the water. "I know this a lot to take in," she said. "And you will have to take it to the table, but Clay will die. By my hand or Mr. Mayhem."

"I understand," he said. "There might be others that don't though."

"We'll deal with it when it comes."

He took out his pack of cigarettes and offered he one. "We're burying Tara tomorrow morning," he said, lighting her cigarette. "I'll take it to the table after that."

She nodded. She took a deep drag. "Take the journals. Read it all. There's a lot more in there."

"Why didn't you tell me after your dad died?" he asked.

"All I had was the journals and my dad warning me that if something happened to him, it was Clay. I was dealing with my own shit. I started looking into it more when I became a Death Dealer and those resources at my disposal," she explained. "One of those journals is mine. It has everything I found in it."

He nodded. "I think I'm gonna need a bit to read every thing and think."

"Do what you need to," she said. "I'll call Happy to come pick me up."

"You sure?"

"Yeah," she smiled.

He pulled her into a hug. "I love you, Leela. I'm sorry things didnt turn out the way they were suppose to."

"It doesn't matter now," she said. "We're past the point of no return."


Happy came to get Lily and took her back to TM. Everything was slowly getting back to normal. Most of the guys were working in the garage. The cars that had needed repairs were finally getting the attention they needed.

Lily was helping Happy work on a car that had more problems than it was worth. Happy didnt need the help with the crappy car, but he knew she needed to stay busy.

He was gonna sound like a pussy whipped bitch, but he liked just being around her. He always had since the day he had met her. Now, it was different; he wanted to be as close as possible to her.

A bike rumbling into the lot got everyone's attention. Lily grinned when she realized who it was.

"Scarlett," Lily greeted the other girl as she walked to her.

Scarlett pulled off her helmet. "Just wanted to let you know we finished up at the warehouse," she said. "All the Horsemen are cleaned up."

Lily stuffed her hands into her pockets. "Good," she said sound relieved. "Did you happen to see my bike anywhere?" The Horsemen had taken her bike when they first took her, and she hadn't seen it since.

"Sorry, babe. It wasn't there."

"Shit," Lily mumbled. "Looks like I'll have to get a new one."

"Yeah, that's just awful," Scarlett teased causing Lily to roll her eyes. "We did find something though."

"What was it?" Lily asked. remembering the papers she had found when she was at the warhouse.

"Not entirely sure yet," Scarlett shrugged. "We sent it to the analyst, but it could effect more than just the MC."

"Awesome'" Lily said sarcastically. She knew it was bad just not that bad. "Shit just keeps getting worse and worse."

"At least you got a nice piece of ass in your life now," she said, nodding towards Happy, who was keeping an eye on the two girls.

Lily laughed. "Never thought I would hear someone call Happy a nice piece of ass."

Scarlett shrugged. "Not everyone can have a hot hunk," she said. "Speaking of, is Kozik around?"

Lily narrowed her eyes. "He's in the clubhouse I think." Scarlett nodded and started towards the clubhouse. "Hey," Lily called to her. "Break his heart and I'll kill you."

"Wouldn't dream of it," Scarlett smirked before heading inside.

Lily crossed her arms over her chest and turned back to the garage. Her bike was gone. It wasn't that big of a deal anyways. She was planning on getting a new one. It would just be a little sooner than planned.


Hello Dearest Readers,

Sorry for any errors. I'm doing this all from my phone.

How is everyone's year going? Mine has been downright shitty, and that's not even including being stuck inside my house. I'm not going to go into details because it's pretty fucking depressing.

Updates are gonna be few and far between because I dont have much motivation to write. I'll try my best, but no promises.

As always, feel free to leave reviews. I read and adore every single one.