I'm sorry it has taken so long to get this story updated. I've been thinking a lot about my stories and wanting to finish them. Life just got pretty hectic for me but I've wrote the last three chapters. I feel like that's all it really had left so I'm going to go ahead and put them up. I hope you guys enjoy them :)
A couple of days after she left Paul's apartment and leaving things the way they had, Stephanie couldn't seem to get the excitement and hopeful feeling back that she had about moving forward. She had been so excited about her plans but even she heard the flat deflated tone of her voice as she told Allie and Melanie even after trying to sound excited. They had sounded encouraging after she told them but the look in their eyes made her think maybe they weren't as excited as they had tried to seem. Maybe it was because she hadn't really been all that convincing either.
The thing was she had really been excited about her plans of moving forward but now she couldn't seem to get that last look on Paul's face out of her mind before he turned and walked away. She couldn't forget the little speech about not wanting to be friends or how he kissed her and how suddenly after that a sense of finality about them came over her. But hadn't that been what she wanted? To move on.
Now she felt like she was back to feeling lost again. As much as she wanted to not want him and to be pissed at him, she couldn't help but hurt when she thought of leaving and never seeing him again. But her only other option was to forgive him, and she honestly didn't know if she could.
"Steph?" Allie's voice cut through her thoughts and she looked up at her. "Are you okay? You've been in this daze for days now."
"I'm fine" Stephanie forced a smile then sighed and dropped the facade after seeing Allie didn't fall for it. "I don't know what to say."
"Maybe whatever it is that you're thinking about" Allie suggested sitting back into her seat.
"I was thinking about school and well Paul."
"So, this is about Paul? This is what I was afraid of and why I was hesitant about you seeing him at the restaurant."
"I said school too" Stephanie replied giving her a look.
"Which still has to with Paul."
"How?" Stephanie asked knowing she was right but not wanting to admit it. Was it really that obvious to everyone?
"Because you made the decision after you broke up with Paul. I'm sure you wouldn't have decided this if you two were still together. Plus, you've been in this daze since you went to his apartment a couple of days ago. You seemed so excited about this before you made it to the restaurant and then when you left with Paul and came back you just seemed depressed" Allie shrugged. "Now I'm just wondering if you are making the right decision or you're just doing this just so you can move on from Paul.
"Allie, I want to go back to school- "
"Really? Because you didn't sound like you wanted to when you told me and Melanie. To be completely honest you don't sound like you want to right now either."
"Okay so just because I don't sound over the moon about it means I shouldn't do it?" Stephanie asked starting to feel irritated. Probably because she knew Allie was right and she just didn't want to admit it.
"I just don't think you should do it just because you want to escape the situation you're in. If you honestly want to go back to school, then I support you and you should definitely go back and get a good education."
"I'm not trying to escape anything" Stephanie lied unconvincingly looking away.
"Please don't make yourself even more miserable by doing something your heart isn't into."
"What else am I supposed to do Allie?" Stephanie asked heatedly "sit here and be miserable or go out and run into him somewhere then come home and hurt over it?"
"I'm just trying to give you my opinion Steph. You're my best friend and the last thing I want to see is you miserable and I think if you go back to school just to get away from this, you're going to be even more miserable."
Part of her knew Allie was right. She was running away but she couldn't deal with seeing Paul and she wasn't sure if she could really move on if she was constantly sitting and thinking about him. It made things worse when she accidently ran into him while out. But there was a part of her that wondered if Allie was also wrong. Maybe this was exactly what she needed to move on. With her back at school she could throw herself into studying or even getting a part time job to stay busy. She wouldn't have to worry about seeing Paul by accident and maybe just maybe she could find someone new to move onto when she could finally let go completely of Paul.
"Or you could just try to forgive him and start over" Stephanie's head snapped up to look at Allie. "You are hurting so much over him. I've never seen you be this way over a guy. I honestly don't know if you will ever actually get over him. I think he's always going to be a part of you no matter how hard you try."
"Did you forget that he cheated on me?"
"No and I'm not saying he didn't but maybe things weren't really the way they looked" Allie shrugged and looked away from her. "He looks as miserable as you do and the way he wants you back it just makes no sense."
"I just…people would think I was an idiot for taking him back after cheating on me."
"Fuck other people Steph. Who cares what they think? This is your life and if you want to and think you can forgive him then that's your decision."
"I just don't know if I can forgive him" Stephanie replied shaking her head.
"You should take some time before making a final decision. I just think if you do decide to go back to school then that's the end between you and Paul. Which if that's what you want, and you want to go back to school then I think that's what you should do. But I don't think Paul is going to wait forever. So, if months from now you think you've made a mistake just remember that you might not be able to go back to him" Allie said as her phone dinged and she turned her attention to her phone. "Shit I got to go. I hope you're not mad at me. I just hate seeing you like this, and I want you to really think long and hard about this before you and up leave us."
"I'm not mad Allie. Even if I was I couldn't be for long, you know I'd get over it" Stephanie replied with a smile and a little roll of her eyes.
"I'll call you later okay?" Allie asked and Stephanie nodded her head. Allie bent down and hugged her before leaving Stephanie sitting there alone with her thoughts.
Later that evening Stephanie made her way downstairs to have dinner with her mom still feeling unresolved with everything. It was a good thing she hadn't told her mom her plans yet. She had been planning on telling her at dinner the day she told Allie and Melanie, but later that night while Stephanie was lounging on the couch watching television Linda called and cancelled and let her know she wouldn't be home. Which made Shane change his plans of coming over. Stephanie was glad he changed his plans because here lately they did nothing but fight. So, when she came into the kitchen to find four plates set on the kitchen table she started feeling uneasy.
"Why are there four plates when there is only us two?" Stephanie asked Linda as she went over to the kitchen counter where her mother was standing and chopping vegetables.
"I invited Shane."
"Okay well that doesn't explain the fourth plate."
"When Shane gets here, I will explain" Linda replied as Stephanie gasped.
"Are we getting a new daddy?" Stephanie joked and Linda looked at her and rolled her eyes.
"You're not funny."
"Ouch thanks Mom" Stephanie smiled playfully.
"So, tell me how have you been? A couple of days ago it seemed like things were looking up for you and now it seems like you've been off in another world."
"I'm okay. I just thought maybe I had found the answers I was searching for but now it seems like it's brought up even more for me to think about. I can't seem to figure out what it is I really want, and my brain feels like its on a roller coaster ride."
"What was it that make you think you had your answers?" Linda asked looking over at her as she hopped up to sit on the counter. She wasn't sure if she wanted to tell her mom or not so when Shane walked into the kitchen interrupting the conversation, she couldn't but feel a little thankful. Even if they weren't getting a long that much right now.
"Hey mom" Shane said giving their mother a side hug and a kiss on the cheek. "You need any help?"
"No, I got it" Linda gave him a smile. Stephanie resisted the urge to roll her eyes at him especially when he ignored that she was even in the room with them. "How are you feeling since Charlotte left?"
"A lot better actually" Shane replied making Stephanie perk up and listen. She hadn't actually known if Shane had finally made her leave or not so this was news to her. "I didn't realize how suffocated she made me feel."
"Good because I honestly never liked her anyway" Linda replied making Shane laugh a little. "Well everyone might as well go sit at the kitchen table since the food's almost ready."
Stephanie hopped down off the counter and followed Shane to the kitchen table in silence. As soon as they sat down Shane pulled out his cellphone and continued to ignore her. But she brushed it off not wanting to fight and got out her own phone until the doorbell rang and she watched as Linda hurried out of the kitchen.
"Do you know who mom invited?" Stephanie asked breaking the silence between them.
"Nope" Shane replied not even sparing a glance in her direction. She was starting to wonder if there was more to him ignoring her then just so they didn't start fighting. But she couldn't think of anything else, they had hardly spoke to each other lately.
She didn't have any time to even get into it when Linda returned the kitchen and her jaw almost dropped when she saw who was behind her. Stephanie felt confused but more than anything she started to feel angry.
"Why is he here?" Stephanie asked trying to keep her voice steady and calm.
"Stephanie…"
"No. Why don't you go back to your girlfriend and leave us alone" Stephanie almost shouted at her father as he started towards the kitchen table.
"Listen I know you're angry but- "
"I am more than angry, and I don't really want to have dinner with you" Stephanie got up from her chair and rushed past Vince and Linda without looking back.
She went outside to the porch and tried to calm down as her hands began to shake and her eyes began to tear up. She felt angry at her father still for everything he was putting them through. Also, a little betrayed that her mother would just bring him here unexpectedly knowing she was angry at him. With everything going on this was the last thing she needed.
"Steph" Stephanie heard her mother call her name softly as the front door closed and opened. Stephanie wiped the tears that had fallen. She hated crying when she was angry.
"Why would you bring him here I don't understand" Stephanie replied turning around to look at Linda.
"I didn't think you would be quite so understanding if I did it any other way."
"What do you mean" Stephanie asked crossing her arms against her chest feeling confused.
"After I went on that date a while back, your father found out about it and it made him furious. He was insanely jealous" Linda chuckled "He came to me and told me he was an idiot for everything. Told me he just wanted me back and he had already called things off with the other woman."
"And you took him back?" Stephanie asked as Linda nodded. "Just like that? After everything he did to you."
"Well it isn't as fast as you think. We're basically dating and taking things slowly. We are seeing a therapist and building trust back. We're taking it a day at a time, but we thought it was time we let you kids know at least."
"I just don't understand why."
"Because after I went on that date I realized that I'm probably never going to feel the way I feel about your father with anyone else. There is nobody else for me. I love your father too much. I'm sure you understand what I mean" Linda explained tucking a piece of Stephanie's hair behind her ear with a small smile.
"I can't just forgive him like you did" Stephanie replied feeling the anger rise again when thinking of her father.
"That's okay. Nobody said you had to. That's between you and him but I hope you'll at least let him try to make things right" Linda said as Stephanie stood there without a response. "I'm sure you'll figure it out. I'm going to go back in and serve dinner if you want to join us."
Stephanie nodded before Linda turned and went back inside. She inhaled and exhaled slowly trying to calm down and think when she heard the door open again.
"So, I guess we're one big happy family again?" Shane asked and Stephanie shrugged without turning around to look at him.
"It seems like it."
"You don't sound so thrilled."
"Neither do you" Stephanie replied as Shane went over to where she stood and sat down on the porch steps.
"I don't think we really get much of a say."
"No but we still get to feel the way we want to about it" Stephanie replied taking a seat on the steps beside of him.
"They are our parents so of course I want them to be together. That's normal but I also don't understand it and I'm not sure if they should be together. Plus, I'm pissed off at dad for everything he has done to her."
"Me too" Stephanie replied staring out across the lawn.
"You're going to take him back, aren't you?" Stephanie turned to look at Shane confused.
"What are you talking about?"
"Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking" Shane replied with a pointed look. "You're taking Paul back, aren't you?"
"Where is this coming from?" Stephanie asked feeling confused. Yes, she had been thinking a lot about Paul today but she didn't understand how Shane would know anything about that.
"A friend of mine saw you two kissing a couple of days ago so just be honest Steph" Shane replied in an irritated tone.
"Yeah. I think I am" Stephanie blurted out without thinking, surprising even herself.
"I guess you can't say much about mom then" Shane scoffed and shook his head. Stephanie didn't respond, she was kind of surprised at herself but not really shocked. All day she had wanted to figure it all out and she was pretty sure her mother was what helped her make her decision. The way Linda had talked about Vince was exactly the way she felt about Paul.
"Shane, I need to go" Stephanie said knowing it was probably going to upset him more. She was sure this was the reason he had been ignoring her earlier but now that she had made her decision she had somewhere to be.
"Wait" Shane grabbed her wrist as she started to get up and pulled her back down. "I need to tell you something and I need you to promise not to get mad at me."
"What?" Stephanie asked skeptically as he let go of her wrists.
"Promise me first."
"I promise I'll try not to get mad at you."
"That's the best I can hope for I guess" Shane sighed "so you're taking him back even if he did cheat?"
"Yes" Stephanie replied knowing that she was willing to give it another chance even though it hurt to think about him cheating.
"Okay so I guess it doesn't matter anymore but you might as well know. Paul didn't cheat on you."
"How do you know?"
"I lied about where I had been that morning" Shane replied ducking his head to hide his face from hers.
"Why?" Stephanie jumped up from her spot next to him on the stairs.
"Because I was pissed. I walked in on the same thing you did and I couldn't think or see straight from how I blinded I was with rage. I felt like I did back when she chose Paul over me all over again. I wasn't exactly thrilled with you and him dating either and I just wanted you to hate him as much as I did. So, I kept some of the truth out. I thought it was better for you to just hate him and move on."
"That wasn't your decision to make."
"I know. I was pissed at him even though it was Charlotte's fault. Probably even mine for believing her for one second and like I said I wasn't thrilled with you two dating. It grossed me out to have to watch my best friend and my sister make out" Shane replied with a shudder. "I just thought it was still that silly little crush you've had on him since you were like fifteen. I thought it was just infatuation and you'd move on, but I guess I was wrong."
"Yeah you were. So, what really happened?"
"Well that night at Zach's was true but Charlotte didn't leave until about five in the morning. When I woke up I had that text from her and I decided to go ahead and get up and head to the apartment. When I got there Shawn was drunk and passed out on the couch and Charlotte was asleep in our bed. Since I was awake, I went ahead and took a shower and then decided to go get some breakfast. I was gone probably not even fifteen minutes and when I came back well, I walked in on what you did. Charlotte even admitted nothing had happened in attempt for me to not kick her out." Shane explained as Stephanie turned without saying a word and went inside to get her car keys. "I'm sorry."
Stephanie ignored him and ran to her car. She would deal with Shane later, right now she was happier than she had been in a while. She couldn't even bring herself to be fully pissed at Shane. All she wanted to do was hurry and get to the man she loved.
