Chapter Twenty-Two – Step We Gaily

"Are you quite sure that I can stay for a few days?" asked Kitty. Her charcoal hovered over the sketchbook in her lap, where her latest drawing – Mary at the piano – was taking form.

Mary sighed in mock annoyance, offering her sister a little smile. "Of course! Most of your school is sick, and the rest of the girls who are not unwell have gone home. I wouldn't be surprised if Georgiana had to join us as well, as this illness has been going around the city."

"But staying at Darcy House when they're not here, and they're in mourning feels strange. You never did say why we weren't staying with Aunt and Uncle Gardiner."

"Aunt Gardiner has the flu, and so do the younger two children. I think that they will be fine, as they have good constitutions."

"You should have said earlier, we could have sent them a note. That might have cheered them up a bit."

Mary paused her playing. "Why don't we make puzzles out of some of your drawings, for them to put together?"

"That would cheer them up, and distract the younger ones. I do hope they get well soon, Aunt Gardiner has been like a mother to us."

Mary resumed her playing, focusing on the keys under her hands and the pedal under her foot. She could feel Kitty watching her with curiosity and apprehension. Finally, Mary put her thoughts into words. "Do you think that we are wrong to shut Mama out of our lives?"

"I don't know," said Kitty thoughtfully. She tapped the charcoal against her cheek as she pondered. "I had not thought about it that way. Rather, I feel that Mama had done her best to push us away. We are only doing what she wants us to do."

"I suppose so," agreed Mary. "But do we honour her by doing so?"

"Does it matter? She does not want us. She has made that clear. What brought this up?"

"Jane."

"Ah."

Jane had entered her confinement a few weeks previous, and Elizabeth had gone to be with her. Mary hadn't as of yet, primarily because she wouldn't be allowed to be in the birth room and Kitty needed her here. Miss Bingley had come to Town from Scarborough and was also disinclined to go to Netherfield, though Mary rather thought it was for different reasons than an inability to help a sister in need. Jane's impending motherhood had raised questions for Mary about her own mother, and about the kind of mother she wanted to be when she had children.

"Do you think, if Mama was different and things were different, that Papa would have lived longer?" asked Kitty hesitantly.

"It is impossible to know," said Mary. "What has happened is what is. If Mama was not the way she is, we would not be who we are."

"I suppose."

"How is Lydia getting on at school?"

"She had a terrible time the first week or so, until she realized that no one cared if she was prettier or livelier. Once she started learning, she realized how far behind she was and decided that she was going to catch up with everyone else. She's almost to the level of her year-mates now. And she has a few friends."

"She's working hard."

"I do hope that it lasts, as she's so much easier to talk to these days. Less high strung, more focused. Lydia always did better with goals."

"I suppose so."

The sisters sat without speaking for a few moments. Kitty resumed her drawing and Mary changed her sheet music to a song that more suited her mood. About a third of the way through the piece, there was a knock at the door.

"I'm very sorry to disturb," said Thompson the butler, "but Miss Bingley is at the door. She wants to speak with you."

"Thank you Thompson," said Mary. "Please show her in."

The Miss Bingley who entered the room was not the Miss Bingley of six months ago. Her hair was significantly less elaborate than it had been before, the colours of her gown were muted, and there was a slight hesitance in her step. Mary immediately rose, ordered tea, and guided her to a chair. Kitty set aside her sketchbook.

"Miss Bingley, welcome," said Mary. "How have you been?"

"I think I know you well enough to know that you are asking out of genuine concern, not politeness," said Miss Bingley. "I am uneasy. My time with my aunt has given me time to consider my actions, and my treatment of others. It is no small thing to have to face one's flaws."

"That is true," said Mary. "To come face to face with oneself can be terribly frightening."

"I have not been the best sister, or the best person," said Miss Bingley. She paused as tea was brought in and Mary fixed everyone a cup. Once the three were alone again, she continued. "I know I am unwelcome in my brother's house, despite what he says. And I am sorry to burden you, but I have no one else to talk to."

"It is quite alright," said Mary. "We are sisters by marriage, and if there is one thing I have learned in my lifetime, it is that sisters need to be there for one another. While I do not know you as well as I might, I am here for you."

Miss Bingley eyed her warily. "You are very different from Mrs Darcy."

"As I always have been. I have a more forgiving nature, and am not one to hold a grudge, especially not for something that someone is attempting to atone for. Elizabeth has always had to be strong in the face of our mother, and as such does not forgive slights easily."

"You called her Mrs Darcy," said Kitty abruptly.

Miss Bingley turned to her. "I did? I did. I suppose I have accepted that she is the one he chose. Mr Darcy has never been unkind to me. I just thought kindness meant affection."

"He is your friend, though."

"He is." A breath. "Do you think he'll forgive me?"

"I think that he will leave being upset to his wife, as she is the one who you insulted, and it is Elizabeth who will deal with being insulted."

"At any rate," said Kitty, "I think Jane and Mr Bingley will be happy to see you, and for you to celebrate their child with them."

"You may be right," said Miss Bingley slowly.

"Jane has always been one for peace in the family," said Mary, "and I rather think that this will not be different from the norm. Particularly as her life is about to change significantly."

"I will write to her and ask if I may be there with her," decided Miss Bingley.

The conversation turned to what Kitty was learning in school and what the plans were for her coming out. Miss Bingley agreed that waiting until the Darcys were out of mourning was a good plan, and that learning as much as she could before then was in Kitty's best interest. Miss Bingley talked about taking up watercolours again while she was in Scarborough, and how angry the first few had looked. She had kept painting and found that as she let her petty anger and resentment go, her paintings softened and improved to the point where her aunt had one framed and placed in a public area of the house. Mary showed them the preliminary draft of a song she was composing, explaining that she was trying to write about a slowly blooming love. Miss Bingley played the first few bars and was delighted by the slow, almost shy start to the piece. By the time the visit was done, Miss Bingley was in better spirits and headed home to prepare for a soiree that one of her old friends was hosting in hopes of finding others to cultivate friendships with.

The next few days followed this pattern. Miss Bingley would come to visit, often with something that would interest Mary and Kitty to talk about. She had started reading one of Elizabeth's favourite books, and having taken an actual interest in it, was able to discuss it with Mary, who also quite liked the book. There was an afternoon where the three ladies sat in the solar and painted, Miss Bingley gently giving advice to the sisters with some effort. She played duets with Mary and helped make over an old dress with Kitty. Something like companionship grew among them, and Miss Bingley's genuine smiles and interest kept the other two enjoying their afternoons as well.

Just before lunch a week after Miss Bingley's initial visit, Dr Fanshaw came to call. He was tired, and as usual between patients. He sat down and accepted a cup of tea gratefully, voicing his appreciation for the strength of the cup. Mary and Kitty settled as well, Kitty a little further away with her sketchpad.

"How are you holding up?" asked Mary.

"Not as well as I could be," admitted Dr Fanshaw. "I am not sleeping as well as I might, and not eating as much as I ought. Everyone wants a doctor when there is plague, and the other doctors I have spoken with are experiencing the same."

"Shall I ring for something? If you are hungry then you should eat something. We cannot have you collapsing or becoming ill yourself."

As Mary went to ring for a maid, a fond smile crossed Dr Fanshaw's face. "I love you."

Mary froze, the bell rung. "I beg your pardon?"

"I am so sorry! I hadn't meant to say that quite yet. It was supposed to stay in my head."

"You love me?"

"I do. I am sorry about the delivery."

"The delivery was fine. I hadn't expected a flowery speech, as that wouldn't be like you."

There was a knock at the door, and a maid popped her head into the room. "Miss Bennet?"

"Could a plate of sandwiches be brought up?" asked Mary.

"Of course miss." The door closed and Mary turned back to Dr Fanshaw, who still looked a bit sheepish and slightly bewildered. He buried his face in his hands.

"Well now that we've established that I love you," said Dr Fanshaw, "what would you like to do about it?"

"I suppose we can talk about it," said Mary. "We can also talk about my reciprocal feelings, and how glad I am that you accidentally informed me of your feelings."

"Reciprocal feelings…you feel the same? You love me?"

"I do indeed."

"Oh. Well I feel less foolish than before."

There was another knock at the door and a plate of sandwiches was brought in and placed on the table. Dr Fanshaw murmured his thanks and picked one up, ate it, and apologized for his terrible manners. Mary laughed it off, and the doctor ate two more sandwiches before returning to the conversation.

"Having never been in this position before, I am unsure as to how we proceed," said Mary. "I love you. And I like you as well. Both of these are important."

"I also like you as a person. I do not think I could love where I did not also like."

"So where do we go from here?"

"I was working up my courage to do this."

"Do what?"

"Miss Bennet, I like you and love you. I can envision a future with you in it, and I would like to see that vision become reality. Can you see a future with me? Will you marry me?"

Every thought in Mary's mind stopped and she dropped her teacup, startling herself. "I can. I have been thinking about what it might look like, a future with you. I should like that very much. Yes, I will marry you."

"Are you sure?"

"I have never been more sure of anything."

Dr Fanshaw beamed. He leaned forward, stopped himself, moved back, then brought Mary's fingers to his lips. "Neither have I. Though I am unsure as to whether it is proper for me to kiss you yet, or if I need to wait for a while."

"Ahem."

Red-faced, they turned to see Kitty, sketchpad still in her hand and sitting by the window. "I am very happy for you both, but Uncle Gardiner and Uncle Phillips need to give consent before anything is official. Also, I have just seen my sister's proposal. I do not need to see her first kiss as well!"

"Right," said Dr Fanshaw. "I should go talk to him and write to your other uncle and Bingley and Darcy. Could you write a letter to your uncles as well? They do not know me very well, and I think It would be better if they knew what you think of me."

"I'll write to them tonight," said Mary. "I am sure that Mr Bingley's friendship with you will help as well though, as he is in Meryton with Uncle Phillips, and I am sure that Mr Darcy will write you a letter of recommendation as well."

"Yes, that would help as well. I am sorry, that wasn't romantic at all."

"No, but you are not the sort to talk circles around a subject. And I find that honesty romantic in its own right."

There was a pause, and Mary picked up a sandwich and took a bite. Dr Fanshaw followed suit, and the two of them started laughing at themselves and the awkwardness of their conversation. Out of the corner of her eye, Mary saw Kitty shake her head and flip to a new page in her sketchbook, charcoal already flying across the page as whatever it was that had formed in her mind was being translated onto the page. Sandwiches finished, Dr Fanshaw and Mary twined their fingers together and sat, gazing at each other until the clock chimed the hour and startled them apart.

"I ought to head to my next patient," said Dr Fanshaw regretfully. "A plague is a plague, regardless of what the people treating it require."

"Be careful," said Mary. "I would be very upset if you caught it and died."

"I would also be upset with myself, as dying would mean never seeing my hopes for the future come true. And I do hope to have a wonderful future with you."

"So do I. don't forget to write those letters, and perhaps call on Uncle Gardiner? Aunt Gardiner and two of the children have the plague as well."

"I am sure that I can make that call, then. And I will write in my notebook a memo about the letters, and also about getting more sleep."

"Good, you must take care of yourself."

"I shall. I'll call again when I can."

Once Dr Fanshaw was gone, Mary spun in a circle, beaming and laughing. She flopped on the sofa, still laughing, and looked at her sister with sparkling eyes. "Kitty, I am sorry you saw that, but I am so very glad that it happened. He loves me! Me!"

"And you love him, and you're going to get married and have a wonderful life together and everyone shall be jealous of your happiness. But you won't care because you will be happy and married to the man you love." Kitty offered a smile of her own at her sister. "I must paint this soon if it's to be ready in time for your wedding."

"Kitty, what did you draw?"

"If I tell you, it will ruin the surprise. You'll have to wait."

"Very well, if it is to be a surprise, then I shall be patient."

A note from Miss Bingley arrived later that day saying that she felt a little under the weather, and would not be visiting that day. Mary and Kitty wrote back to her individual notes assuring her that they understood and hoped that she returned to good health. The rest of the afternoon was spent writing letters on Mary's part, and painting in the solar on Kitty's. They floated on a cloud of good news amid the tension of the city-wide sickness.

Three days later, a flood of letters arrived at Darcy house for Mary. Mr Darcy, writing on behalf of himself and Elizabeth, gave his blessing and congratulations. Mr Bingley and Jane too were happy for the couple. Mr Phillips had decided to immediately begin drawing up the marriage contract, and he was determined that it be the best that it could be. Mrs Phillips sent Mary several fashionable dress sketches and a short note of congratulations. Mrs Bennet's note scolded Mary for settling for a doctor, and it went into the fire as soon as it was read. Mr Gardiner invited himself for lunch, and after a lengthly discussion with Mary, agreed and gave his consent and blessing as well.

Notes between Dr Fanshaw and Mary were daily occurrences. Dr Fanshaw – James – was stunned that Mr Phillips would volunteer to write up the contract, and touched that his friends gave their blessings so strongly to his engagement to their sister. He filled Mary in on some of the doings of his patients, and Mary told him about her composition and her reading of a medical text on disease and contagion. Their engagement went into the newspapers, and notes from friends arrived for both of them. Mary did her best to answer everyone, and was especially pleased to read that Lady Catherine wholeheartedly approved her match, as "the Fanshaws are a good family, reputable, and the doctor has a reputation for being a true gentleman, and an excellent friend".

Mr Darcy arrived at Darcy House ten days later to escort Mary and Kitty, as well as Georgiana, to Netherfield. Jane was expecting any day, and it was six weeks to Chiristmas, and thus the collective wisdom was that there was no point in coming together and then separating only to come back together in such a short span of time. The girls piled into the carriage, trunks full of handmade gifts, and happily caught up with one another, while Mr Darcy listened with a softer expression than his usual stone face.

They arrived mid-afternoon, and Elizabeth, Mrs Phillips and Mrs Bennet were all there to greet them. Mary could see the tension in Elizabeth's shoulders and knew that a very awkward tea that had not been mediated well. The Darcys squeezed each other's hands in greeting, and Elizabeth hugged her sisters happily. Mrs Phillips was also very pleased to see them, and Mrs Bennet seemed relieved that it would not just be the three of them waiting with Jane. She ushered them inside, informing them that Mr Bingley was meeting with Mr Phillips over a small legal matter that he wanted to clarify regarding the estate.

The women elected to eat with Jane, and Jane seemed pleased as well to see her sisters. She was delighted by Mary's news, and talked over their mother's grumblings about Mary settling for "only a doctor". Mary also ignored her mother's complaints, as she was happy with her situation and looking forward to a future where she wasn't expected to be a socialite to the degree of Jane and Elizabeth. Elizabeth was very obviously biting her tongue and keeping her comments civil in an attempt to not upset Jane and ruin dinner.

Finally, as dessert was being served, Mary decided to put a stop to the tension. "You know Mama, Lady Catherine approved of my match. The Fansaws are a well thought of family, and I shall be pleased to know that if I am ever ill, I shall be well cared for. Lady Matlock approved too, as did Mrs Kingsley."

"Oh," said Mrs Bennet, a frown creasing her face. "I suppose if they approve then there must be some merit to the match. But Mary, why did you not consult me at all?"

"I did not wish to bother you with my problems," said Mary.

"It would not have been a bother!"

"Then perhaps when I start planning my wedding, I might get your assistance with preparations."

"Of course. I should like that very much."

The serenity that followed dinner lasted until lunch the next day. Mr Bingley was engaged in an entertaining story about his attempt to buy ribbon for Jane that had Kitty and Georgiana laughing, while Jane was chatting to Elizabeth and Mr Darcy when Jane suddenly stopped mid word and sent a panicked look to Elizabeth and then to Mrs Bennet. There was a flurry of activity and the married women hustled Jane upstairs, Mr Darcy and Mr Phillips ushered Mr Bingley into the parlour and the three unmarried women sat still, waiting for instructions. After a few moments, Elizabeth came back down.

"The baby is coming now," she said calmly. "I need you three to help Fitzwilliam and Uncle Phillips keep Charles calm. Entertain them with the skills you've learned at school, and try not to let Fitzwilliam get into his own head. Hopefully it will be over soon."

"We can do that Lizzie, of course," said Mary. Kitty and Georgiana nodded vigorously. Elizabeth smiled proudly at them and swept back upstairs. Mary led the other two into the parlour and went to the piano, beginning a soothing melody. Mr Bingley had been pacing when they came in, but settled now in a chair to play a game that Kitty and Georgiana proposed.

Hours passed, with the girls rotating turns on the piano and the men keeping Mr Bingley engaged and sober. At quarter after ten, Mrs Bennet appeared with a little bundle in her arms. Mr Bingley stood, awe and terror crossing his face. Mrs Bennet handed him the bundle and arranged his hands and arms so that he was holding it properly. He gazed down and wonder and love emerged in the glow of his smile.

"Meet your daughter," said Mrs Bennet. "The midwife says that she is healthy and a good weight, and that Jane is showing signs that she will be fine. Now she needs to rest. What will you name her?"

"Jane and I decided on Samantha Frances," said Mr Bingley, still glowing at his daughter. "Hello, Samantha, I'm so glad you're finally here. I've been waiting to meet you, and so has your mama." He looked up. "Can I see Jane?"

"Come with me," said Mrs Bennet. "Samantha needs to be with her mother for a moment anyway. Jane should be all cleaned up and resting." They walked out of the room, Mr Bingley balancing his daughter and stepping carefully so as not to trip and drop her. Mr Phillips clapped a hand on Mr Darcy's shoulder, startling him from a wistful thousand mile stare.

"That will be you and Elizabeth soon enough," Mr Phillips assured him.

"I do not mind waiting," said Mr Darcy. "It will happen when it happens. I will not put pressure on Elizabeth to do something that is out of her control. Besides, when it happens I have the feeling that she will not be pleased about being confined."

"That sounds like Elizabeth," said Mr Phillips.

Georgiana tried to cover a yawn with her hand, but her brother noticed. "Off to bed, Georgiana. It has been quite the day."

"Will you go to bed soon as well?" asked Georgiana.

"Of course," said Mr Darcy. "I am going to wait up a bit for Elizabeth though."

"That sounds lovely," said Georgiana, stifling another yawn. She took Kitty's hand and pulled her upstairs. Mary offered the men a curtsey and went up as well, pausing at the top of the stairs and then heading to Jane's room. She ran into Elizabeth, who shook her head tiredly at her.

"You can see Samantha in the morning," she said. "For now, let the new parents get to know their child."

"Very well," said Mary. "You will tell me about it later though?"

"I shall."

"Mr Darcy is waiting for you downstairs."

"That was good of him. Goodnight Mary. I shall see you in the morning."

Mary watched her sister descend the stairs, passing their uncle on the way down. Mr Darcy met her halfway across the hall and took her in his arms, pressing their foreheads together. Elizabeth seemed to melt a little, and after a moment they turned and went towards the library. Mary retreated to her room with that image vivid in her mind, hoping that one day soon, she could experience that too.