~Glossary~
Himura : literally "red village"
Aiko : literally "child of love"
Miko : Shinto priest
Hachiman : "God of Eight Banners" in Japanese beliefs, worshiped by peasants as the god of agriculture and by fishermen who prayed in hope to fill their nets.
Genpuku : ceremony of transition to adulthood (around 13 to 15 years old at this period), a traditional stage of life in Edo era.
Ironi : hole in the middle of the living room which hosted the fire over which is suspended the pot to prepare meals or heat the water for tea.
Furoshiki : fabric that is fold according to a traditional technique in order to create a travel bag.
Okeaeri nasai : welcome home / Tadaima : I am back home / Itadaikimassu : equivalent to enjoy your meal
~A few historical notes~
-During Edo era, the life of peasants is centered on their villages from which they rarely move away. As a result, people are very wary of strangers, and there is strong pressure to comply with the standard and little opportunity to deviate from customs. The survival of a village also depends on the cooperation of each household to meet the taxes of the Daimyo and to overcome natural disasters such as famines, which were frequent and dramatic back then.
-"Bakumatsu" is a term which indicates the revolution that allowed the passage from Edo era (under the reign of the shogunate, a military government also called "Bakufu") to the Meiji era (under the reign of the emperor), leading to the recasting of the unequal system of Japanese feudal classes and to the opening of the country to the Western powers along with their economic, commercial and cultural practices.
-In 1801, the Irish Parliament was abolished, and Ireland was integrated into the United Kingdom of Great Britain by the "Act of Union". Catholics were still barred from sitting in the new parliament until emancipation was achieved in 1829, on condition that the poorest, most radical, and separatists be forbidden to vote. This led to a flood of Irish immigrants, banished from their native island when it was annexed by Great Britain at the beginning of the 19th century, who had left in the hope of settling on new colonial lands.
The paragraphs dealing with the past are indicated in italics.
Chapter 22 : Upon the red maple hill
[Kaei era, under the reign of the emperor Kômei-tennō and the shogun Iesada Tokugawa, year 1849 of the Gregorian calendar.]
Somewhere in rural parts of Japan, in a small mountain village, Eirin was staring at the body of her stillborn child.
It was the second this year, the umpteenth victim of a too long series over the last decade. At first, she had tried to abort the undesired pregnancy with large sewing needles -as she often would-, but that only worsened the bleeding and the foetus had kept its growth. Ever since she was able to carry life, between the lack of food and the disease that were regularly striking the region, many children never witnessed their first winter. At that epoch and in these remote lands, in the absence of means to regulate birth or any healthcare system, barely one out of two infants were surviving delivery, and barely as much were completing early childhood. Woman of tender heart and vulnerable build, this endless succession of pregnancies followed by as many funerals had bit by bit turned her neurotic.
She knew little about her origins. Only that her mother had been raised by her own grandparents, entrusted to them during a stopover by a Japanese 'comfort woman' meant for trade. Eirin was told her maternal grandfather was a foreign sailor, born on a faraway island, that had fled the repression from his native country on the commercial boat where they had met. He then had never returned on their lands afterwards, like many of those who worked at sea that the waves were secretly seizing under their azure tomb.As her mother had inherited the dominant asian traits from her matriarch, Eirin was unaware of the look and feel of these far ancestors. From her distant foreign roots she had only kept a name, Eileen, adjusted to fit the homegrown language of a xenophobic Japan that did not welcome the increasing arrival of strangers during this era.
Of father she had not known, taken away by disease -most probably typhoid, endemic in the district at that time - a few months after her birth. Her mother being too poor to raise her alone, she had been sold early as an au pair to a family further inland, then later out of necessity married at the age of fourteen to a peasant of the neighboring village, named Seki. He was a man who rarely spoke, more comfortable with his hands than with words, but a hard-worker in the fields. In a country where social ranks were narrow and irremovable, he'd never had any choice but to become a worker of the ground like his own parents, wading in misery and struggling day after day to feed his relatives. As he belonged to one of the most deprived classes of the feudal system - except for a few large landowners -, they had no family name. She was therefore called Eirin "Himura", like all those who were living in this gathering of and wooden and mud houses, above the hill surrounded by red maple trees.
Unfortunately, on this ungrateful lands remote from any of the major Japanese cities, their history was that of many others.
Together they already had three infants so far, all of them boys : Nomura, Yashiro then Miyabe. And tonight, at the dawn of summer solstice, the young woman had given birth to twins. The little girl, cachectic, had never uttered her first cry. As for the boy, with his purple eyes, his hair as scarlet as the sunset and his lunar skin tone, traits that were inherited from distant maternal ancestors whom Eirin knew nothing about, he didn't look like any of them.
"This one is not mine"
Seki Himura, realizing that this offspring wore none of his features, naturally believed his wife had deceived him. Mad with rage, he charged her with the betrayal and beat the mentally-fragile woman until the bruises imprint on her flesh the weight of his anger.
"I beg you ! I can't lose another !"
When her cries finally fell silent, the misled father took the child in his arms and with heavy steps climbed the rocky hill which was overlooking their village. Under a maple tree laid between the gnarled roots, up there he abandoned him. But the infant's cries, carried by the nightly wind of the valley, were brought to the prying ears of neighboring houses... and the sorrowful issue was refered to a local figure. As he discovered the newborn, still unstained by life, the old Shinto priest decided that his fate deserved a chance.
"...The boy's appearance is no doubt the mark of the spirits' punishment, for a sin must have been committed by his lineage. Thou shall not leave him die or shall risk the Oni's ire."
With legends of yokai feeding the community's beliefs for generations, among farmers without any education other than religion, the miko's words were echoing as the voice of wisdom in the red hills. Seki thus understood that the unlikely boy was his son, and that he would have to raise him whether his coming was a bad omen or not... For despite the misery falling on them with the monotonous regularity of seasons that were each year more ungrateful, the father had always refused to sell even one of his children. He couldn't offer them much, owned nothing but a rotten field on a lean hill and a wooden hovel riddled with holes... but his family was all he had. That was what little honor he possessed that could not be stolen for him.
This is how, on the moonless evening when he was born, it was decided that Shinta would live.
"...How is he ?"
Standing at the door, Kaoru couldn't quite hide her concern regarding the incessant coming and going of the physicians in his room. The first couple of days, distressing, had been entirely devoted to the treatments, the wanderer's health proving to be precarious hour after hour.
One full week had now passed since the first series of surgery and the wound still wasn't completely stabilized. Despite the bandages' important pressure Himura was yet loosing an unhealthy amount of blood, and the soiled dressings had to be replaced far too often for her like. As she was unable to sit back and do nothing while others were trying to save her beloved's life, the brave young kendoka had taken upon herself to empty the basket of dirty fabrics that was visibly filling up, to wash them as properly as she could and bring barely-dried new ones. She would also take care of preparing meals for everyone - whether the taste was pleasant for human palate or not-, which allowed her to keep her mind busy at all time... While waiting for another nerve-racking news from the medical team.
"...The injury is extremely serious" bluntly replied Megumi, removing her gown stained with alarming reddish spots "By some miracle, the blade has missed the heart by barely a few centimeters and did not reach the myocardial tissue in depth, but it has severed numerous vessels around nevertheless, which in turn caused a severe hypoxia in the surrounding organs..."
To be honest, Kaoru didn't have a clue what this medical gibberish meant. But it was the first time her friend would take the time to explain to her the situation somewhat, this is why she was religiously listening to her.
"Of course, there's always a risk that the suture won't hold, but I can say we're over the worst of it. As for the neurological recovery... This is what worries me the most, currently. So far Ken-san still hasn't regained consciousness... thus the following days will be crucial."
"What do you mean ?"
"I'd rather be frank with you, Kaoru. The massive and extended bleeding he's suffered has probably damaged the brain tissue..." She had to refrain the tremor in her voice "...If Ken-san doesn't wake up in the next few days, the most likely outcome is that he never wakes up at all."
The young woman swallowed. These words, however, were ringing very clearly in her mind.
"Moreover, should he recover, these injuries may weaken him for a long period. Chances are that he could no longer be able to fight as he used to do before the incident..." added the doctor, pointing with her chin the part of his chest that had been pierced by the sakabato "Although, knowing Ken-san, it's not going to prevent him from running into struggle if someone needs him..."
"Unfortunately..."
"And there's more..." Her tired gaze darkened. "...There's something else I must tell you." She wiped her forehead on the apron she had just removed, a surprising gesture for this woman who was usually fond of ladylike manners. Constantly at the wanderer's bedside since her arrival, she had well deserved the bit of rest she was about to take.
"You may already know, but Ken-san has arguably been tortured during his captivity... There are signs of abuse nearly everywhere on his body. Chain strokes, injections, as well as burn marks..." ...and evidence of rape. Megumi went no further into details, far too intimate for her to share. Such decision should be Ken-san's choice alone. "… He's also received a gunshot on the left temple. This wound is at greatest risk of becoming infected, so we will have to watch it more closely."
The young kendoka realized that she had been holding her breath for several seconds, and inhaled suddenly.
"I-I'd figured this out for myself already ..." She was unlikely to forget the condition of his body when they had given him first aid at the remote inn of Yokohama's harbor. "... Thank you for all these explanations, Megumi. I will never acknowledge you enough for all the help you're providing us."
"It's nothing" the brunette pulled her hair back with an ample motion "This is the least I can do."
Ken-san has saved my life, and much more... He was the only one to believe in her when she was but a drug producer, reaching a helping hand towards her at the time when she was the most alone... at the risk of his own life, and without a second glance. She would try the impossible to help that man.
"Can I... Can I see him now ?" Kaoru continued, uncertain. Ever since Himura had come back, this subject was sensitive.
It had not been very long since she and the others had been allowed to enter the room where the wanderer had been placed, the ballet of foreign surgeons having only ended this very morning. They had requested that as few people as possible approach the patient while they were operating, for reasons of "hygiene and contamination risks" that happened to be perfectly obvious to them, but much less understood by the inhabitants of the dojo who had absolutely no notion whatsoever about surgical guidelines. However, if not being able to see the wanderer was only exacerbating everyone's anxiety, they had somehow complied with said recommendations in their friend's best interest.
"Well, he isn't really in shape to have visitors..." Megumi sighed. But if there's anyone who's worrying about him, it's her... "... Come in, but don't be long."
"All right, thank you again Megumi! While you're at it, use this time to take a break."
"... You should get some sleep too, Kaoru. You have dark circles under your eyes."
Needless to say, the young kendoka did only have a light sleep in the last few days, fearing every morning to wake up by the news of her beloved having disappeared for good. Some nights, when anxiety took over, she would stick her ear against the shoji of his room just to hear him breathe, and make sure that despite the fact that he was as reactive as a rag doll, the rurouni was still alive…
"It doesn't matter, you know-"
"He wouldn't like to see you in this state," finished the doctor curtly. Whatever happens, Kaoru mustn't let herself go ...to see her moping around is the last thing Ken-san would have wished for.
With that, Megumi left the place without another glance for her interlocutor, eager to make the most of this brief interval of quietness after several days of almost uninterrupted work. The young kendoka, meanwhile, entered the patient's room with hushed steps. She had been waiting for this moment since their return from Yokohama, since it was the first time she could visit him alone without having a swarm of doctors bustling around him. Inside, the shoji had been kept closed to avoid heat loss, and apart from the few rays that were filtering through the paper, one could barely make out the room's corners in the semi-darkness of the place.
"Kenshin ..."
There he was, lying on his back over the gray futon. His skin was appallingly pale due to the hemorrhage that had been raging for several days, his chest was covered with bandages moistened by ocher secretions ... And he was as still as the ground under her feet.
He doesn't look like himself ...
This was a very troubling feeling.
Whatever... She shook her head vigorously. For now, he just needs to survive. The rest will come later.
She knelt beside him and placed a hand against his cheek. His skin was cold, his pulse barely perceptible. And his ki... unlit.
Kaoru shuddered inwardly.
... Is a soul still living inside this body ?
Seijuro Hiko had been staying at the dojo the early days, observing with an outside eye the evolution of his disciple. Then, after more than a week spent there, when things seemed to have finally settled down and his condition became stationary, he had shortly announced his decision to return to his secluded place in the mountains.
This is why tonight Kaoru was waiting, sitting on the engawa which was overlooking the front door of her dojo, wrapped in a blanket, to watch over the departure of Hiten Mitsurugi's thirteenth master. Not only to bid him farewell before his long journey, but also in a last attempt to unravel the whole truth about Yokohama's tragic incident... For if in the first place all of them had primarily focused on the upcoming news concerning the wanderer's health, whose condition was shifting from day to day, thereafter had come the time for questions... A time that the taciturn master had until now always skillfully avoided.
... Kaoru stopped him just before he crossed the threshold.
"Hiko-san!" The huge man turned briefly, almost surprised by the unwelcome spectator of his departure. For such a ridiculous thing to happen, he had probably been too lost in his thoughts... which -predictably- tended to occur more, lately. "Before you leave for Kyoto definitively..."
"I don't exactly live in Kyoto actually, but let's say so..." Damn. He had hoped that by leaving when everyone was asleep he would've avoided the painful conversation that was surely already taking shape in the tanuki's brain "... What can I do for you, young lady?"
"Ano... both of us didn't have much opportunity to speak so far ..." She blinked back, feeling his strong gaze upon her. " ...And I'd like you to enlighten me, about Kenshin."
Straight to the point.
"I was under the impression that I'd already told you all I know what more could you possibly want ?"
His tone was harsh. Despite his tremendous experience and lonely way of life, Seijuro was likewise quite shaken by the act of his disciple. Not after he was supposed to have found his so-called « answer » and survived the trial of Jinchuu.
"Well, you were the only one capable of locating Kenshin that night. And I want to understand better what happened to him..." Kaoru summoned her courage. At this point, all the members of their friendly group had come on their own to a same grimmy hypothesis, that they could not bring themselves to express aloud, at least not without certain knowledge. And ever since he had brought Kenshin's body, the hermit would systematically put a quick end to any interrogation on the subject "... What did you see exactly back there?"
The huge man sighed.
Himura attempted suicide.
He was himself pretty sure of what happened, even without having directly witnessed the scene. There was no other soul around for miles, and the position of the body as well as that of the sword left no room for doubt.
"Pretty much nothing, when I found him he was already in this sorry state."
Hiko was a man of another era. He knew full well what she was expecting from him, but had deliberately chosen to keep his opinion for himself. As he was not the wanderer's father, not even his mentor anymore after this one had flatly refused to succeed him, it was not his role to intervene on such heart-wrenching matters. Yet, if the proud swordsman often reveled in deliberately ridiculing his disciple about the small things in life, he was however much more serious regarding his dignity on decisive subjects. His suicide was an unfair disavowal in light of all the values the wanderer had fought for throughout his existence. To get this far, no doubt that he had been driven to his last defenses, pushed beyond his most intimate limits... where no man would ever wish to be seen. And it was because he respected this, that Seijuro wasn't eager to share his feelings. Kenshin had already suffered enough for him to tarnish what was left of his memory and of his already painfully low self-esteem ... Should he never wake up, then they did not need to learn what truly happened ... and his disciple's deep beliefs about the inestimable value of life would remain forever unstained. Himura had worked so hard for this new family.
The less they know, the better.
As expected, Hiko was going to make it as difficult as it could be... But that was without taking into account the tenacity of Kamiya Kasshin's legit heir. For, hearing his laconic answer had just strengthened the young kendoka's resolve. I've got nothing to lose, may as well dig as much as I can...
"... Could you at least tell me where he was?"
"On a cliff after the MinatoNoMieru-Oka woods, for whatever it's worth." he smirked, already ready to turn tail. His stupid disciple's friend was proving to be even more annoying than the baka deshi himself.
"Mi-MinatoNoMieru-Oka ...? What on earth was he doing this far ?"
"Just how do you expect me to know!? You should ask him, not me."
"... But was there other people around him? ... Corpses?" She dreaded her last word. Has he killed more people outside?
"No"
"...Any signs of a struggle?"
That was unlikely, but it could have happened nonetheless. Who knows how strongly the wanderer would have been able to defend himself in his poor condition, against a sufficiently powerful opponent?
"... Hiko-san, has he been attacked?" she insisted. He was on the point of leaving the dojo and God knows when they would hear about the 13th master of Hiten Mitsurugi again. Tonight was her last chance of learning the truth from him, no matter if she was offending the impressive swordsman.
"I told you he was already hurt when I arrived, that's all I saw."
He wasn't lying. He was just not telling the whole truth.
"But do you think an ambush could be the reason for his injury?" The tanuki sure was stubborn.
"...Who cares what I think ?! Will that change anything?" the hermit's patience turned short, and he subsequently raised his voice "How many stupid questions do you still have?!"
Seems like even the dojo's ground could shake when that man gets angry... trembled the young woman, impressed by the master' intense aura. Clearly he had no wish to share his thoughts any further. At this rate, she had few chances to pull the facts out of him. I can't believe Kenshin has spent half of his childhood secluded in the mountains with that irascible dude... No wonder he's become so introverted !
"... What I mean is… we all need to understand what happened..." she tried, more gently. Herself raised by a dedicated kendoka, Kaoru was not a girl to be stopped by a man's shout. "... Weren't you two supposed to be together at that moment?"
"Do you really think that if I had been there when it happened he would've come back with such injuries ?!" growled Hiko, without sarcasm this time "Enough talking Kamiya, this conversation is going nowhere. You're wasting my time."
She narrowly held him back by the sleeve.
"Then, onegai, just one last question ..." Blue eyes filled with pain and guilt were staring directly at him. Her innocent soul, piercing straight into the fighter's thick shell.
Just like him, she won't take no for an answer... 'guess my baka deshi finally did meet his match.
"Fine," Hiko sighed, inwardly blaming his own weakness. He was a sucker for ladies in distress. "What is it, Kamiya?"
"Megumi told me... that his wound had not been caused by a conventional blade…" she took a deep breath. Her friend had confessed her that she had sewn up a large transverse abdominal gash, the edges of which were disturbingly singular... "...Was it the sakabato? "
You can't hide anything from a doctor.
"..."
"... Hiko-san, please ..."
She had to hear it from him.
"..."
"... Please... I need to know ..."
Seijuro grumbled inwardly. This was the one question he did not want to answer.
"…Yes."
On a half-spoken word that meant everything, the master turned his back to her in a magisterial swing of cape, sinking with heavy steps into the dark.
"I've got no reason to stick around here anymore"
There's nothing I can do for him now...
"… Take care of my stupid disciple."
The smell of wet leaves and freshly turned-up ground, the wind whistling its quiet melody in the stately trees, and the high-pitched whispers of children's voices to birdsong...
Of all the plains, the mountains and the fields he had crossed, none had the melancholic flavor of his childhood…
On that very same night, Sanosuke and Megumi had decided to drag their feet to the police station where the former Shinsengumi worked, also in the hope of gleaning there some additional information. Without Kaoru at first, in a hopeless attempt to protect her feelings. They, too, wanted to get as much clarification as they could get before jumping to nerve-wracking conclusions about the reason for the wanderer's condition. Himura was the last person on Earth likely to commit such an extreme gesture... Should he ever wake up, the implication of his act was laden with meaning.
At the time when he saw them coming from the corner of his window, the officer Fujita as for him was already thinking of a way to send them out. I've seen them enough at the port yet, now they're back to bug me in Tokyo? What else this time ?
"...You can't do a thing without me, can you?"
Saito was barely more friendly than usual, the wish to see them clear off his office as quickly as possible evident in his attitude. Sanosuke, on edge since the accident, refrained from directly jumping down at his throat in/as a greeting.
"Thank you for seeing us at this late hour, Saito ; I'm aware you've had a lot of work over the past few weeks..." started Megumi, far more diplomatic than the brawler. "Yet we never really had a chance to discuss the aftermath of Yokohama's affair together... We sure could use more details about what the police found on MinatoNoMieru-Oka hill, the night of the incident?"
From where he was, the clever wolf could see that even she was distressed. Her voice was faint and her eyes were slightly swollen. Taking care of a severely wounded patient had left her little sleep in the recent days.
"Huh... I assume Battosai's still as vivid as a vegetable, is that it?"
"Be careful what ya say, assho-"
The only thing that prevented the former Sekihotai from shoving his fist in the officer's venomous mouth were the doctor's nails, firmly stuck into his arm. Decidedly, the two men could not get along.
"I suppose that the police also investigated on its side. After all, Ken-san was once a pawn of the government." she continued without allowing herself to be distracted by the Mibu's sarcasm.
Saito nervously drew another puff from his cigarette. Of course, he had looked into the incident that happened to his former adversary ... And the conclusions of his inquiry made him especially uncomfortable.
"From what I know, Himura was found on the ground in a puddle of blood, his sakabato plugged midway into the chest."
He'd cleared up enough assassination cases to know better. This did not look like a murder.
"Is it possible that some of the traffickers did escape and hunt him down for revenge ... I mean, people from Hangar 41?" replied the doctor, in an attempt to rationalize her reasoning.
"No, not that I know of. There'll always be folks who want his head but to my knowledge no one who's currently running in the open air. We have secured the area there over a wide perimeter, so it's very unlikely for one of them to have managed an escape other than by sea. Besides, to be able to bring the Battosai down, you can't be just anyone... The man's stubbornly hard to kill." he continued while avoiding their gaze, seemingly annoyed by the turn this conversation was taking. What exactly do they want from me? He had no desire to share his feelings on this matter, much less with people who did not understand his philosophy. "... If such a dangerous individual was hanging around in the Kanto, I would've heard about him."
Megumi and Sanosuke exchanged a dark look. The officer's replies were as clear as crystal, and that left no place for other assumptions...
Himura was the one who attempted his own life.
Like all of those who have lost a loved one to suicide, they were torn by a gut-wrenching remorse.
They should have known it. They should have guessed.
"... If there's one positive thing in this mess, it's that thanks to his work, Battosai has spared us a complicated raid which would certainly have cost the lives of many of my men..." added the officer, in a rude effort to lighten the mood of the depressed-looking crowd that had gathered in his office. Handling an emotional outburst here and now was the last thing he wanted. "Even if, truth be told, he didn't do it by half..."
"I don't see how that's funny !" Sanosuke exploded, tired of the ever-sarcastic tone of his interlocutor. Even coming from a former Shinsengumi, these comments felt inappropriate. "Kenshin's betrayed the vow he's been strugglin' to keep for over ten freakin' years, and that -that crushed him! Even if ya don't share his belief, ya owe him at least some fuckin' respect!"
In response, Hajime only roared with sardonic laughter. So this was the population who grew on the Meiji era, so naive?
"…Just when will you stop believing in these nonsense ?!" he threw his cigarette outside. You fools ... still a hundred miles from reality. "It's been broken for a long time, his ridiculous oath!"
"C'mon cut the crap, wolf!"
The Mibu's disturbing laugh grew louder.
"Please explain me in which fairy-tale you idiots are living in, exactly? I can understand how Battousai can be in denial, but don't tell me that not one of you has ever figured it out?"
"... Say what?" Sanosuke dropped his fishbone. Now he was going from anger to genuine concern. "If ya have information we don't, just spit it out '!"
"Did you ever ask yourself what was happening to the poor folks he fought ? Himura's weapon may not cut flesh, even when he's holding back his blows, the wounds inflicted by a reversed-blade like his remain fearsome... ! Between the collapsed lungs and those perforated by a broken rib, the crushed jaws, the dislocated hips, the late internal bleeding and other cranial traumas fraught with serious consequences… " This time his explanations were accompanied by inadvertent gestures that were nonetheless far too explicit "... Without counting the ones remaining permanently disabled, some of those who crossed paths with his sakabato got a one-way ticket for hell during the days or weeks that followed their encounter, in the anonymity of their hospital bed... The only difference with a traditional katana, in the end, is that they don't die on the spot. "
Seeing their crumbling faces, the policeman inwardly sneered. He had said that so bluntly, so easily. As if it had been obvious all along. Indeed, he had a singular talent for making people in front of him look like perfect idiots.
So they DID ignore it ...
… For the wanderer's friends, meanwhile, it was a heavy blow. The truth, raw, ruthless, had just caught up with them with a cruel simplicity.
So his oath... was but an ideal ...
Now that the officer had explained it to them in this concrete terms, it all seemed as a matter of fact pretty pathetic... How could they not have suspected it earlier?
... nothing but an ideal ...
And, more worrying yet, how could Kenshin Himura, a severely experienced fighter, ignore this?
At this moment, the brilliant Dr Takani was struck by another truth, just as disturbing. While they were considering him as a mentor, she had just become aware of a much more perverse aspect of her friend's personality. Yes, Kenshin was filled with praiseworthy moral principles, an acute sense of justice, an innate strength and overall admirable wisdom of life, which is why they were so often referring to him... but not concerning himself. Especially regarding himself, the former assassin was proving to be dangerously blind, deaf to his own suffering and full of serious contradictions.
That would mean he's been repressing this knowledge inside him all these years ...? ...Why?
She closed her eyes, her conclusion as painful as Saito's revelations.
Probably ... because he could not live without his ideal.
Because without that, the weight of his crimes would have been too heavy to bear.
Because without that, the death of his wife would have been meaningless.
Megumi was disgusted with herself. As a health professional, she had the brief doubt to resign from her vocation.
I've always focused on treating the wounds of his body... yet, his spirit was just as ill...
While drawing on the cigarette he had just lit, the former Shinsengumi delivered them the final stroke.
"... Only an idealistic hypocrite would ignore this."
... and that's what Kenshin was, in Saito's mind. At least in part.
"If you knew all along, then why ...?"
Megumi gave him a dazed look. Why did he keep the information for himself ?
"... I didn't see fit to talk to him about it, nothing else."
Despite his apparent lack of interest, the officer Fujita had consideration for his former Bakumatsu's opponent. Had he wanted to put an end to their rivalry, it would have been through a fair fight, not by pushing his adversary in the throes of depression or madness.
Well, it hardly makes sense anymore now...
"I sure hope you're not planning on sticking around here until dawn...," continued the officer, waving them out of the office where the atmosphere had become suffocating. He had had his fair share of morons for the day. "... I've given you everything the Tokyo police could learn, and that's more than enough for you civilians. For the rest, you'll have to manage without me. "
"... Arigato, Saito"
Megumi had never grasped this man's ideals, nor did she like his antipathetic character, but he obviously understood Kenshin's twisted psychology on points that were eluding them. And, despite his bitter attitude, they were greatly indebted to him for the help he had systematically offered them since the beginning of this affair.
Yet, in the light of his terrible confession, both friends were too troubled to express further gratitude. Fortunately for them, the night was still young.
"Sh*t !"
He knocked on the table, causing the partially empty bottle to wobble.
Not only had Kenshin indeed tried to end his life, but in addition he had already broken his vow since decades.
And all this time Sanosuke had not suspected a thing. So much for a best friend ...
He felt like an idiot.
"Sh*t !"
"Keep getting mad like this and you're going to make your wrist worse," Megumi observed, sipping her saké elegantly. It was rare for her to find herself sitting in an Izakaya at nearly eleven o'clock, furthermore in company of the former Sekihotai. Sanosuke had proposed her to blow off some steam by taking a drink after the horrific revelation they'd had today at the police station, and she had for once exceptionally accepted. They both needed a break.
To make matter worse, that jerk Saito's been makin' fun of us the entire time..." Sure, there was not enough saké on earth to drown his frustration "... How come we've missed that, damn ... "
"Don't be too hard on yourself ; Ken-san is not one to confide in others, even his closest friends... And, however much he did so, I'm not sure we could have done much for him anyway... We may have been ten years too late to really help him... "
Ken-san's the only man who would rescue anyone for free, but yet would never ask for help regarding himself alone... And, no matter how hard you try, you can't force someone who doesn't want to be helped. This whole situation was unfair.
"Kuso !"
"Should we drop a yen on this table every time you're using that loud tongue of yours to swear, we could soon buy a round of drinks to the whole neighborhood," pointed the beautiful brunette with a wry smile.
How does she still find the stamina to joke ...?
It had been ten days since the young doctor was taking care of the wanderer. She was, so to speak, at the worst position, at the forefront for their sick friend. Sanosuke was genuinely concerned about her.
"You should rest a bit, kitsune."
"It's ok, I plan to hand him over to Kaoru soon." she ran her hand through her bangs "There isn't much more I can do for him anyway... now that the bleeding is stabilized and the wounds are sutured, what's left is... " her voice dropped an octave " ...nothing more than follow-up care. "
The only question now is the extent of brain damages... and the fact that he still hasn't woken up yet is certainly not a good sign.
"Speaking of her, I wonder how the missy's keepin 'it together...?"
"As long as Ken-san is alive, I wouldn't worry too much about her. Kaoru is stronger than she looks."
"Yeah..."
He was yet half-conviced of that.
Either way, Jou-chan might feel very lonely in the times to come. There's no way I can travel on the continent as long as my friends need support ... 'guess my lil' projects'll have to wait.
"I'd never have thought he'd do that, ya know, even when Kaoru was s'pposed to be dead he didn't try to..." He could not bring himself to finish that sentence "... I keep tellin' myself I shouldn't have left him alone that night... "
"That would have made no difference. You can't keep an eye on him constantly."
"Still, if I'd been there, this sh*t wouldn't have happened..."
"Listen, Sanosuke. I'm not saying that you've made the wrong decision..." she plunged her resolute gaze into his "... I'm just saying there was no right choice. If Ken-san really intended to take his own life, he would have done it anyway at one point or another. He's a grown man, remember? Blaming yourself for his acts is pointless."
"Yeah ... probably so ..."
The brawler smiled. Having Megumi by his side in moments like these was of great help. The fox was wiser than most of his friends.
"I was also wonderin' ... How come Kenshin didn't realize he'd already killed with his reversed-blade? I mean, he's assassinated tons of people when he was young, and he's far from bein' stupid... "
"That's..." How was she going to put that into simple words for that dumb rooster? "… What is called denial."In his case, an abysmal denial... probably as great as the suffering that has caused it. "As you can see, the impact of it can sometimes be tremendous... Even smart people like Ken-san can be victims."
She gazed down at the clear liquid she was holding in her cup.
The older and graver the trauma, the more difficult it is to see the truth...
"... I would even add that it's all the more dangerous in a person like him. He's charismatic, rational, and his oath carries a beautiful message that we all wish to hear deep down... Which also explains why we didn't realize it either."
"I don't get it ; ya mean he's chosen to ignore it?"
"No." She finished her glass in one go. "...What I mean is that Ken-san is ill."
Because, despite his mature spirit and apparently consistent reasoning, Kenshin was sick. Severely mind sick.
And the result of this was the deep coma he was now plunged into
"…...Oh."
That realization did hurt too.
"Yet, I still feel like an idiot..."
"That's because you are one. You may be great fighters... there is nothing one can do against the power of subconscious." concluded the doctor, freeing her long hair with a graceful gesture.
She's right...
Sanosuke found himself staring intensely at the doctor.
She's full of resources, this vixen ...
In these difficult hours, Megumi's presence was a great comfort to him. He was genuinely impressed with her ability to stand firm even in front of the most desperate cases. Her caring hands that were never shaking despite the accumulating fatigue. Her sparkling long-lashed eyes. Her lips that under any circumstances were coquettishly painted with a trace of the carmine lipstick she loved, her unique fragrance of lavender and orange blossom ... With the loneliness, the tiredness and the late hour, their faces came closer without the two friends noticing it... And before any of them had time to realize, their two lips almost met.
What the ...?
It was over as soon as it started.
"Let's ... Let's pretend this never happened" Megumi blinked hard, obviously disturbed by her lack of attention. What on earth I am thinking? "Forget about this, rooster"
"Hey, I ain't done nothin', kitsune!"
On their lives, none of them would ever admit this had somehow felt good.
The warmth of the only hearth that was crackling until late at night, the veiled sound of ancient lullaby sung by their sick mother, and the glowing sun that was slowly setting on the wild mountains at their doorstep ...
How come what is forever lost always holds such a bittersweet taste?
What was days turned into weeks, and what was weeks turned into months. As time continued its frantic course towards an uncertain future, the state of Kenshin on the other hand remained unchanged.
Everything that could be attempted with the current state of medicine had already been achieved, the rest was now in the hands of providence. There was nothing to do but to wait, and since the situation was no longer evolving, Megumi had offered to move Himura into a long-term sanatorium, where he could receive proper care for people in his condition. Another reason was that she didn't want her friend to witness the ordeal of taking care of a person in vegetative state -which required a trained nurse's skills- when this man had to become -or at least should have- her husband. Kaoru had first objected to this proposal, refusing to let anyone take the rurouni away from her, pleading that the best healing location for him could not be anything other than his claimed home. What could be worse than waking up in an unknown place among unknown faces, when your body and mind is just rising from ashes ? However, after the doctor's insistence and numerous researches, she had obtained for him a place in an institute nearby the Kamiya dojo, so that she could go there by foot and see him as often as she wished. This asked the young kendoka a very unwelcome amount of money, but at least did she keep the wanderer not far from her.
And so she kept visiting him almost every day, making trivial small talk about the weather, their friends' various achievements, the latest news from the world, or pretty much anything that came to her mind at this point, as if he could hear her here and now... in the uttermost silence of his hospital chamber. Only the dripping song of the saline perfusion would sometime trouble the deadly calm of the room.
We're keeping him alive, yet...
According to Megumi, the coma was a stop in the activities of the brain. The organic functions had been maintained, allowing him to stay amongst the living, but there was currently no way of knowing what was happening in his mind nor what his real level of awareness was. Could he hear but not talk ? Was he blind, deaf, paralyzed but still dreaming ? Or was it the complete and absolute nothingness of a senseless void ? Since he wasn't responding to direct light, pain or any kind of stimuli, the doctors had assessed that his consciousness was minimal.
... he looks like an empty shell ...
If his heart was still beating, Kaoru had the terrible impression that the wanderer's soul had disappeared for good that night on the cliff. And, the lifeline at the end of which was now hanging the body in front of her seemed so fragile...
"I won't give up on you..." murmured the young kendoka, burying her head against the sheets in a needless attempt to hide her wet eyes. At that moment, she would have given anything to hear his voice anew, to see any sign of life other than the feverish breath that was periodically lifting his chest, barely enough to move the cotton fabric covering it... In front of this inert body whose only heat was the scarlet scar which disfigured his cheek, Kaoru understood that the person before her eyes had become a complete stranger.
Her kind rurouni seemed gone so far...
[Autumn 1854, beginning of Ansei era]
This year marked the return of commodore Matthew C. Perry's fleet to Tokyo bay outside the port of Shimoda, accompanied by seven warships, waiting for a response from the Japanese government as for the opening of the insular market to the Western powers. Inevitably, the first signs of the Bakumatsu's violent storm were weighing over the sleeping country...
...but, in the ungrateful territories of rural Japan, since long abandoned by the shogunal government, the common people were still far from these political considerations. Expanses of muddy fields crippled by famine and disease, ravaged by the assaults of bandits and thieves who were ruling the roost down there, no future was awaiting the inhabitants who lived here according to the whims of an inclement fate. The children were devoted to tasks as soon as they could use their hands, the daughters of peasants sold for a misery at the first signs of hormonal cycles, and the adults left with no better ambition than a fierce struggle to feed their families.
On the red maple hill, Shinta had clung to life and, against all odds, had survived his early years. As he was born on a season when even rice was starting to miss, he was more petite and puny than his older brothers, yet the skinny boy was working as hard as them. With growing age he had kept his unusual foreign features, which in the countryside of Edo era were cluelessly related to those of the wicked spirits, making him a target of occasional gossips. This is why Seki rarely went down outside the hamlet where they lived with his youngest child. Today, they had turned over the soil to spread red bean and soya seeds, then stopped at a small temple on their way home, praying to Hachiman for a fertile season.
"Is it far now?...My legs hurt!"
While gritting his teeth, Miyabe was complaining with all the breath in his lungs. His clubfoot from birth, source of incessant injuries, made him clumsy and unsuitable for farm tasks.
"Climb on me, I'll lift you!" "
Yashiro stretched out his shoulders and took the third boy of the family on his back. After another tough day in the fields his muscles protested loudly to the act, but he chose to ignore the unpleasant sensation. Pain is something they were long used to.
"Easy for you to do that, you're not sowing seedlings every day like me..."
As second son and the strongest of them -at least, the less undernourished, Yashiro was every once in a while going to work at the hamlet on the other side of the hill to assist with heavy labour, bringing in what few coins they had -which went mostly directly to the Daimyo's taxes, but allowing him to be sometimes absent during several moons.
"If you weren't a twig, I wouldn't have to carry you and you could do something other than planting, Miyabe!"
"Don't make fun of me !"
Nomura rolled his eyes when he heard the kids heckling again. As the eldest, the family's future as well as the legacy of their meager crops depended partly on him, and he was watching over his brothers like a shepherd over his herd... Which often saved their father from having to raise his fist on them once more. At the end of a forced day of labour, the relentless hunger that was plaguing them since the morning would become close to unbearable, heating the tired minds.
"Stop arguing, you two ! We'll be there shortly."
"But hang on, shouldn't you be preparing the ritual soon ? The neighbor's daughter'll come and help us to harvest afterwards, right ...?" Miyabe was almost unbalancing his carrier with his fussing. Once married, a spouse belonged to her husband's family, providing a welcome helping hand if she was healthy. "Say, is it true she's gonna live with us?"
"Tche, everyone knows Nomura prefers his cuuute Sugi-dono..."
"It ain't your business, Ya-chan!"
No matter his frolics with another girl inhabiting the bottom of their village, his father had decided of this arranged match as soon as his first son would reach the age of genpuku, and feelings had nothing to do with that. This was just how things had always been done here. People would try to find the best partner according to their family's task, and as they were as poor as any farmer around here, it often turned to simply finding someone in good shape for labour. While groaning about the situation, Nomura turned around and saw the redhead still a few feet behind.
"Shinta, hurry up! Otosan will get angry if you make us late !"
Despite the stirring in his stomach and his settas falling to shreds, the youngest boy was lingering on the rocky path, distracted by the intriguing spectacle of the raw nature surrounding him.
"I'm coming !"
When he was not in the fields or helping his mother with housework, the redhead would sometimes wander in the abandoned maze of picturesque stones and old roots of the hill, laying down in the wild grass bathed with the thousand smells of timeworn trees and incipient flowers, attentively listening to the songs of the various nightly birds which were resounding in the valley when dusk came. Nomura had always marveled at how much time little Shinta spent observing things.
"You sure are curious."
"Ara?"
"I'll show you stuff when you're older, Shin-chan" The elder briefly rubbed his little brother's scarlet mop. Shinta was a quite withdrawn child, however he was also the one being the most attentive to his family. Maybe because, along with Miyabe, his father was raising them more severely yet than their older brothers. As they were both products of his wife's last pregnancies at a time when famine had worsened, their bodies had not grown fully, and Seki feared that they would never be able to fend for themselves with age - or even worse, that they would become merely one more unuseful mouth to feed."See here we are, the house is rig-"
* Waaaaaaah! *
As they arrived home, the last born and only daughter of the Himura threw herself into their arms, limping on bare feet. Lovingly named Aiko, she had been delivered by her brothers, one night when Seki was too drunk to help his wife. With the many uncontrolled pregnancies happening in rural area, it was unfortunately not the first time that the children had to practice such improvised care, with more or less success each time. Too young to work, Aiko was thus spending most of her days alone in the company of her mother, impatiently awaiting the return of her play partners in the evening.
"Okaeri! 'kaeri!"
The little girl stumbled, catching herself up only by clinging clumsily to Miyabe's shabby hakama, still supported by his brother.
"Ouuch! She's pulling on my leg !"
"Stop acting like a baby", deplored Yashiro, while putting his living burden on the dirty ground. They were all covered in mud. "She's only three years old, it's normal for her to act like that."
"Tadaima Aiko!"
The first who ran to meet her was Shinta, grinning from ear to ear. He and his sister, the youngest kids of the family, both ginger as a foliage of fall, were close like twins and thick as thieves, sharing their games and their slumber. And today, despite the tiredness of the work that was weighing on his too thin arms, the redhead wanted to play. He immediately began to unfold his furoshiki, careful not to spill its content.
"Yaaaaay!" Aiko who immediately recognized what he was looking for clapped her hands impatiently.
"See, Ai-chan, I still have it"
There was a particular story for that toy. One day, feeling guilty for having beaten his youngest son too fiercely, Seki had exceptionally opened his penniless purse to bring back from town a small wooden spinning top, painted with bands of different colors. Shinta had then kept it like a treasure, sleeping with the precious gift in his sleeve, only separating from it to share it with his playmates. The single object had brought a wave of smiles and laughter among the children, who were hastening to play together upon their return from the crops...
For the natives of the red maple hill there were no toys, no hearty meals nor cozy beds... but in their eyes who had known nothing else, this was enough. Joyfulness does not wait the years condemn before blossoming in the souls of children, and finds its way even in the most modest homes. After work, the five children were heckling in front of the pierced shoji of their hovel, building imaginary games with branches and rocks, rising castles in the muddy spans, singing in response to the wind that whistled between the crimson leaves, inventing a promising future for them in the puddles of rain that were standing out among the stones of untended paths. And not far behind them, stowing the heavy equipment borrowed to turn the earth over, their father would arrive.
"Tadaima"
Just a single word, barely a complete sentence. At the end of the day, Seki would collapse with exhaustion on the chipped engawa of their small house and sip his rice liquor in silence, sometimes disappearing all night long with other men of the village. The children would pick him up in the streets at the early morning. He never congratulated them for their work, but let the kids bicker freely once it was accomplished. Seki was especially rough on his sons because he knew that life in these lands would make them no gift. Hot-tempered of nature, he would never part with the alcohol in which he was drowning except to straighten his offspring, and spent most of his time ruminating, his hopes doomed to evaporate on these ungrateful crops that never produced enough and into his bottle of cheap sake. Between parasites and frost, at best a third of the sprouts would emerge from the ground this year ... would they make it through the winter? Would he have to... make a choice among his children? It was rumored that the Daimyo was going to increase his fees again, and he was unsure how the village could pay this time.
"Meal's ready, come and eat!"
Then, while their father was drinking away his worries, Eirin would call them from inside the cottage. Often bedridden, she would watch them from the doorway without bothering to go out and greet them. She rarely took them in her arms. By dint of losing her infants one after the other, depression had struck and stole her all the joy she had.
"Miyabe, don't hang around! Shinta, pick up your settas!"
"Haaaaaaaaaaaai!"
The children ran towards their mother, getting rid of the bulk of their filthy clothes on the doorstep. One by one, they took places tight against each other on either side of the ironi.
"Itadaikimassu !"
Around the central hearth where the fire was burning, a kettle of rice smashed in hot water to improve its consistency, a piece of tofu on feast days, and the loud voices of children that were resounding in the single room of the hovel. The vegetable's harvest this year had not been sufficient to last until spring, making this dinner the unique food for their stomachs starved by a day's work. They had little time to rest together, and their mother was often ill, but they all treasured these shared moments of peace.
... If, like many other peasants in the twilight of Edo era, everyday life was often hard for the Himura, the family was living as glad as it was possible for them to be. Most of them having never known any other condition than that of extreme poverty, this very simple life was for them the only spectrum of what happiness should mean ...
When the cholera epidemic hit the village, Eirin was the first to die. Her husband, shattered by grief, quickly followed her. A few days later it was the turn of the elder, Nomura, always at their side to provide them with derisory care and therefore contaminated before the others.
In less than two weeks, Yashiro, Miyabe, Shinta and Aiko were left alone.
Next chapter : The little boy who was digging graves
A/N : As you know (or not, but hey it's an easy guess) we are dealing with the coronavirus in my country too, so my free time has been very, very poor these last months. I never dropped the story though, and I deeply apologize once again for keeping you waiting for so long. At least I have hope for the next chapter to come faster for I have the plot in my mind already (provided that I don't fall ill too, as a lot of health workers here seems to become :/ ). This one was more than 20 pages -A4- long (!), so have a thought for this humble sesshawriter&translater and reward it with a review if you've liked (or not !) the reading ! Most of all, keep safe, folks.
