The boys in her life didn't seem to put much faith in Sarah Jacobs but it wasn't anything she particularly troubled herself about. Playing the part of the sweet, innocent young lady opened doors and offered insights into places and people she might have not otherwise been privy to. Sarah had quickly realized that keeping her knowledge hidden just made things a bit easier in certain circumstances. For instance, she was hoping that relying on Racetrack to gain access to Brooklyn and its volatile leader instead of asking around herself would make things go a bit smoother. That morning Sarah had convinced David to lie to their mother and back up Sarah's claim that she was just going out to run an errand. David had tried to warn her against going to Brooklyn and as Racetrack stood in front of her, looking particularly displeased at having his usual routine interrupted after Sarah announced her intention to have him act as her guide into Brooklyn, Sarah began to second guess herself.
"A guide for what?" Race asked as he eyed the bag of gently used clothing Sarah held in her arms.
"Well, I would like to check on a friend and since I'm not that familiar with Brooklyn I was hoping you might help me find my way."
"A friend, huh? This friend of yours got a name?" Race asked. Sarah tried tucking the top of the bag closed so he couldn't see the contents but she was too late. "Look, your heart is probably in the right place but there ain't nothing you can do. I ain't about let you go through with this."
"Let me?" Sarah asked as she raised an eyebrow. "I simply asked you for directions, Racetrack. If you'd rather not, I have no problem going on alone."
"Be my guest," Race answered as he gestured down the street. Sarah hesitated for a split second as David's previous warning echoed through her mind.
"I thought you'd want to help since you did say you were Tay's friend," Sarah stated.
"You want to try and become her friend? Good luck. I've done all I could so you go right ahead but you might as well know that sticking your nose into Brooklyn business ain't a good idea in general. As for trying to take Tay away from Spot, you'll end up in more trouble than you think," Race frowned at Sarah's accusatory tone.
"I'm not trying to take her away from anyone," Sarah countered. "I just thought she might need someone to listen, maybe someone to talk to or—" Race's scornful laugh abruptly interrupted Sarah's explanation and she felt her face grow flush with the heat of anger. "I might know a bit more than you seem to think, Racetrack."
"All right," Race conceded. "So why don't you tell me all about this girl you've only met once but know so much about?"
"I know she needs something better than sleeping out in the cold and begging for scraps of food," Sarah began. "David told me what it was like that day you two were in Brooklyn. He told me about how Spot treats her."
"Did Dave happen to mention why she stays?" Race asked.
"No," Sarah admitted. She wasn't sure what caused her to hesitate in that moment as she looked down at the paper held curled in her hand, the address of the home scrawled across the surface. "Look, there's a place near the lodging house. Mr. Kloppman gave me the address. It's for girls who…it's for unwed mothers. I have to say I'm surprised that you think Brooklyn is the best place for her and a child."
"So you don't know," Race said quietly, almost to himself with a pained expression. "You need to forget about Tay. Leave her alone and go back home. There's nothing you can do for her."
"You don't think she needs help?"
"I didn't say that." Race shoved his cap back on his head and rubbed one hand over his face in frustration. He studied Sarah with mild exasperation before abruptly turning and heading in the direction of Brooklyn, muttering under his breath as he went.
After her first few questions went unanswered Sarah determined it would be best to just follow alongside Racetrack as they made their way over the bridge into Brooklyn. The snow and ice left Sarah feeling less than sure footed and she concentrated on her steps. Gray clouds loomed overhead and the weather seemed to be keeping many people inside as the streets were fairly quiet. David had warned her about how Brooklyn newsies kept tabs on anyone entering their territory and so she wasn't put off by the eerie impression that she was being watched, although every time she turned to try and catch someone at it, there was no one around.
"Why are we stopping?" Sarah asked as Race paused outside a lunch counter. He glanced up the street before leading Sarah inside and taking a seat at one of the tables. To ease the cold ache in her bones Sarah ordered a coffee but Race declined to order any food or drink. He seemed on edge but at the same time Sarah got the sense he knew exactly what was going on and what the outcome would be.
"We got some time so if you got any questions, better ask 'em now," Race suggested.
"I'd prefer to ask Tay," Sarah answered as she curled her hands around the coffee mug and felt her fingertips begin to thaw. "Are you planning on meeting her here?"
Race smiled a bit, the first sign of his usual jovial attitude. "There's a reason Spot calls 'em birds. They've been using it for years. Chirps, whistles, different calls meaning different things. A bull headed your way, a new kid on your corner, some idiot from Queens stepping across the line. A girl from Manhattan showing up unannounced and looking for Spot Conlon. The thing is, the signals change all the time so unless you're from around here, you wouldn't notice it. But I've been listening and I haven't heard a sound since we got here, which isn't a good sign."
"You're over here all the time, surely they don't have a problem with you making a visit and I've talked with Spot before so it's not like we're strangers."
"Spending the night here and there to play a few hands of poker or shoot some dice is a whole other ball of wax compared to what you want. Trotting over here with your head full of pretty notions about Tay is one thing, but actually getting in touch with her and talking to her? That's something else and with what happened to her, I ain't sure we'll get anywhere close."
"What happened?" Sarah asked before she could lose her nerve.
Sarah hadn't known Racetrack very long, but she had never seen him at a loss of words. Race slowly weaved through the story of what had happened to Tay on that cold winter night. Question after question raced through her mind but she couldn't seem to put any of her thoughts into words. The shock of hearing the events of that night made it impossible to do anything but sit there with a numb expression on her face.
"I figured you'd might have heard from Jack, maybe David or something," Race faltered as he fiddled with the cigar stub in his hand. "The truth is I've been on the outs with Tay ever since and you should start thinking hard about believing me when I say there is nothing you can do for her."
"It doesn't sound like she's a lost cause," Sarah said carefully. She paused and ran her fingertips around the rim of the mug, plotting the question out in her mind before she could force herself to ask. "Do you think Spot had anything to do with what happened?"
"I don't know," Race answered honestly. He ran a hand through his hair, rumpling it as he tried to compose himself. "What I do know is that nothing has changed. That's always been the problem with those two. Nothing has changed or will ever change. She's been in love with him since the day they met and part of the reason why I left was I couldn't take it anymore, seeing him break her heart and hear her defend him over and over again. Take my advice, Sarah, forget about Tay and go home."
"It almost sounds like you're jealous."
Race smiled briefly and Sarah felt the tension between them ease just slightly. He shook his head back and forth. "It ain't like that. I was friends with her brother and after he died, I just kind of looked after her a bit. I tried the best I could anyway but then Spot took over as leader and—ain't much else to say. I went to Manhattan and Tay stayed here."
"Can I ask you something?"
"You just did."
"Why didn't you take her with you? Seems like you care about her and it doesn't appear that Spot's treatment of her is news to anyone."
"I made a deal."
"What kind of deal?"
Race stared down at the table with a troubled gaze. "It was a long time ago."
"That isn't really an answer." Sarah wasn't sure what it was but for once she felt openly daring and her curiosity was peaked. David had been somewhat tight-lipped about what had happened in Brooklyn and Sarah admitted to herself that since the day she'd met Tay she'd been intrigued by the girl and her friendship with Racetrack.
"I can come and go here as I please. Sheepshead is mine, but Tay—" Race shook his head. "I swore I wouldn't take her from Spot but it don't matter anymore."
"What is that supposed to mean? Are you suggesting that she somehow belongs to him?" Sarah grew exasperated. "No wonder you didn't want to help me this morning."
"Believe me, I used to be like you," Race said with a sad smile. "I used to think that if I could get her away from him, get her to leave this shit behind, that she'd be free of all of it but I gave that idea up awhile ago."
"I don't understand," Sarah told him. "You told me that Spot threw her out and that he gave her to you."
"Because that's what Spot does, he only ever lets her get so far. He'll never let her go. But you got a point—" Race's expression brightened slightly. "—you know, that might just work."
"What will work?" Sarah asked in bewilderment. Race got his feet abruptly and Sarah gathered the bag of clothing together before dashing after him as Race headed out the door.
Perhaps it was morbid curiosity or something equally absurd but Sarah found herself unable to let go of her determination to meet with Tay, or at least find out where the girl was. Race had led her through a maze of streets and establishments that didn't seem to bring them any closer to Tay and the utter foolishness of her original plan was not lost on Sarah as the moon rose higher in the sky. Race stood a few yards away in front of a decrepit looking establishment which Sarah was unsure whether it was a bar or a brothel or something else entirely. All she knew was that as she stood sheltered from view in the alley between the building and the dry goods shop next door she gave her brother credit for being correct about how warped things would get in Brooklyn. Race was holding a serious conversation with a boy Sarah assumed must have been one of the Brooklyn newsies but she didn't recognize him. Sarah set the bag of clothing down in the snow as she stood flexing her fingers in an attempt to get the blood flowing again.
"I asked you a fucking question. Is this all of it?"
Sarah peered down into the dark but was unable to distinguish who had spoken. There was the sound of a scuffle and then glass breaking before an eerie silence fell. The exhaustion Sarah had felt disappeared as she waited with baited breath for the conversation to continue. Within seconds she found herself backed against the wall and stars sprung up before her eyes as her head struck the building behind her. The street light cast a shadow that masked his eyes but nothing could hide the way Spot smirked wickedly as he held Sarah in place against the frigid brick wall.
"Well, look at this. Sarah Jacobs showing up in Brooklyn and sneaking around dark alleyways at night. Don't know if Kelly would approve." Sarah might have thought Spot's words were meant to be admiring but the mocking tone of his voice was crystal clear. Spot's eyes darted to the opposite end of the alley and he appeared to be focused on something, or someone, that Sarah couldn't make out. Sarah rubbed at the tender place on the back of her head as Spot moved toward the narrowed area at the end of the alley and it wasn't long before Spot reappeared, holding Tay back away as she twisted and pulled, trying to free herself of his grip. Sarah had thought she had prepared herself for what might happen when she met Tay again for the first time after what Race had told her but in a moment Sarah understood that it had clearly been such a mistake even thinking about befriending Tay. Sarah was shocked by Tay's appearance and inhaled sharply when she saw the haunted look in her eyes. Tay was dressed in boy's clothing and the fabric practically hung off her thin frame. As Spot fought to keep her contained Sarah realized Tay reminded her more of a feral animal than the young girl she'd met that day in Manhattan.
"Sarah!" Race called out and it wasn't difficult to distinguish the panic in his voice. She stepped back out into the street and saw a look of relief wash over Race, until he noticed who she was accompanied by. "Well, looks like you found 'em after all."
"Take her home, Higgins," Spot said coldly as he brushed past Sarah with Tay still in tow. Spot approached the boy Race had been talking with earlier and began speaking to him in a voice low enough that Sarah couldn't quite make out what he was saying. Tay let out one small cry of protest when Spot ripped the bag she carried off her shoulder and dumped the contents onto the ground at the boy's feet. The kid didn't even look down as Spot continued berating him while Tay knelt in the snow, picking the scattered items up. Finally, the boy pulled his cap down tighter around his ears and took off down the street, not even bothering to look back.
"I'm not here to cause any trouble. I just want to help," Sarah explained as she moved closer but Race held his hand up, signaling for Sarah to wait before involving herself any further. Tay froze for a moment until Sarah took a small step backwards. Most of the items Tay was busily gathering back into her bag were fairly commonplace but Sarah caught a glimpse of a blue ribbon spotted with what looked like rust and threaded through a familiar looking metal key. She stole a glance at Spot and noticed that the key he usually wore on a bit of twine around his neck was missing.
"Five minutes is all we're asking," Race announced but Spot appeared to be clearly ignoring both Race and Sarah as he waited for Tay to collect her things and get back to her feet. "I think you owe me that at least. I mean, since you basically stole what clearly belongs to me now."
Sarah turned and frowned at Race but he just winked at her. She still wasn't comfortable with hearing Tay referred to as property but it seemed to at least get Spot's attention.
"All right, Higgins. Five minutes," Spot answered. There was a mischievous look on his face and Sarah felt herself blush when Spot looked her up and down. "But not you. Just her."
"That ain't part of—"
"Fine," Sarah interrupted, "but I also have one condition."
"What's that?" Spot asked.
"Just her," Sarah said with a nod in Tay's direction. Spot glanced over at Tay before rummaging through his pockets and pulling out a cigarette. He seemed to be considering the offer as he cupped his hand around the end of the cigarette, protecting the lit match he held from the snow swirling around the group. Tay had gathered her belongings together and stood off to one side, staring straight ahead, seemingly not paying attention to anyone or anything.
"Go ahead," Spot smirked as he flicked the spent match away. Sarah felt Race touch her arm lightly and she turned to see a look of warning on his face. It was clear he was trying to get her attention, or to give her some kind of advice but Sarah was left confused. By the time she had turned back to where Spot still stood underneath the street lamp, Tay was gone.
"Guess she ain't interested," Spot shrugged as Sarah stared at him in shock.
"I told you this would be a waste of time," Race muttered irritably. "Might as well pack it up and go home."
"No," Sarah answered and straightened her shoulders while fixing Spot with a hard look. "We made a deal and I plan on keeping my end of the bargain. I also happen to think that you know exactly where Tay is going."
Spot's eyes gleamed in the lamp light but Sarah still felt unsure of his motive as he told her, "Five minutes, Jacobs."
The fire did little to warm Sarah as she stood staring into the flames and it wasn't until she realized that Race was speaking to her that she shook herself from her daydream. She'd been replaying what she planned on saying over and over in her head, trying to keep her thoughts and words organized. She'd never been down to the waterfront in Brooklyn and it was an unnerving experience that she felt fairly sure didn't improve in the daylight.
"If you ain't outta there in five minutes, I'm coming in there after you," Race was explaining as he peered at the pocket watch he held in his hand. He peered over at the building. "Don't know why we're way the hell out here. They only ever stay out here in the summertime."
"It'll be fine," Sarah said with a shaky grin. "At least he agreed to bring us."
Sarah felt Race's eyes on her back as she slipped inside the building Spot had led them to and the scene she discovered made her think back about earlier that morning when she'd considered the ways she'd been underestimated or overlooked before and how it had allowed her insight into situations others weren't privy to. A lone lantern stood on a table in the center of a larger empty space. Spot stood off to one side, his back pressed against the doorway of a smaller interior room while Tay rested her head against his shoulder. Spot held one of Tay's hands in his own as his other hand drew a small invisible line up and down Tay's spine as she stood pressed against him. It seemed an intensely private moment and yet Sarah found herself unable to look away. Sarah could only pick up bits and pieces of Tay and Spot's conversation in a language she didn't understand. They way they stood, the murmured conversation, the way Spot held Tay all gave Sarah the impression their connection went deeper than even Race was aware of. Spot's eyes darted over to where Sarah stood and before she could open her mouth to apologize or say anything, Spot pressed his lips to Tay's ear and whispered something inaudible. Tay pushed back away from Spot and disappeared into the shadows of the surrounding room.
"Five minutes, Jacobs," Spot reminded her as he took the chair opposite her own.
"I thought, perhaps, that I could talk with—"
"Forget it," Spot interjected. "She ain't gonna talk to you. She don't talk to anyone."
"I just heard her speaking to you," Sarah pointed out with her brow furrowed slightly. She peered into the shadows, feeling sure that Tay was watching them both from somewhere in the room.
"I gave you a chance. She ain't interested," Spot reminded Sarah. He let out a short, two-note whistle and Tay appeared alongside the table. Spot reached over and encircled her wrist with his fingers. "Go keep Race company."
Tay began to protest in the same foreign language Sarah had heard earlier but Spot tightened his grip until Tay winced in pain. It was clear that Spot was capable of the abuse she'd been warned of when she saw the look on his face when Tay tried to argue with him.
"I ain't gonna tell you again," Spot stated.
"She's not a dog," Sarah pointed out but Tay didn't seem to appreciate Sarah's defense and turned without a word before slipping out the door into the night. Sarah watched until Tay was gone and then cleared her throat nervously. "I heard about what happened—"
"Don't," Spot told her in a hard, cold voice. "That's the first and only warning I'm gonna give you, Jacobs. Whatever story you was told or heard, it don't matter. I suggest you stop wasting time and spit out what you want."
"What language was that?" Sarah asked, hoping for a change in subject would help lighten the mood.
"Shelta," Spot answered. "It's leftover from all that gypsy shit her ma taught her. You got four minutes left."
"There's a lodging house in Manhattan for girls and I thought Tay might be able to stay there for awhile, to keep her safe. I think it might be good for her." Sarah grimaced as she realized that he plan sounded absurd and childish.
"Good for her," Spot repeated, mulling over the words. He pulled a cigarette out of his shirt pocket and considered it briefly before lighting the end and smoking it. "You sure this ain't all about making you feel better, Jacobs? That way you can play the hero rather than letting the boys have all the fun, right?"
"You caught me," Sarah answered sarcastically. "I can't imagine why else I might want to help a girl who is clearly suffering—"
"Suffering, huh?" Spot interrupted with a cold laugh. "So that's your plan? To take some gutter rat and turn her into what? One of your society ladies with their sewing circles and suffragette meetings?"
Sarah pressed her lips together tightly in anger and curled her hands into fists in her lap. She took a breath to try to calm her feelings and tried to mimic the cold, calculating way Spot held himself. She wasn't sure how Spot Conlon of all people had found out she'd been attending some of the local women's rights meetings when she hadn't even told Jack, but she wasn't pleased that he was practically throwing it back in her face. It caused her to make a nearly fatal mistake.
"Considering she was attacked only after she returned to you as well as the fact that I know exactly how you treat her, I simply wanted to offer her a safer place. Somewhere she wouldn't have to worry about being killed by the very person that she loves."
Sarah had no idea what possessed her to speak to Spot in such a manner and she fell completely silent as Spot's look turned lethal. The air in the room suddenly felt colder and Sarah couldn't tear her eyes away from Spot's as she desperately wished to take back what she'd just said. Her hands began to shake and she clutched them tightly in her lap to keep them from betraying her nervousness. None of what was happening was anywhere close to what Sarah had expected. That morning her only plan had been to offer help to a girl she believed needed a friend, or at least someone to rely on who could be a bit more understanding. Sarah knew very well the choices given to girls in Tay's situation were limited and after hearing David describe Spot's treatment of Tay prior to Sarah's visit she had imagined Tay would jump at the opportunity to find refuge somewhere outside of Brooklyn.
"Seems like you got the backbone in that family, Jacobs," Spot told her. There was no emotion in his voice and Sarah felt even more ill at ease. "I'm sure Higgins has been filling your head with all kinds of stories about Tay but you might want to consider that I'm doing you a favor by keeping her away from you. Just 'cause you're dating Kelly don't mean you have a clue what life is like around here. You have no idea who she is, Jacobs. Tay ain't going anywhere. Two minutes left." Spot crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back in his chair. It was clear that Spot wouldn't be forthcoming with any information or answers beyond what he had already provided.
"Did you have anything to do with that night?"
"No." Sarah studied Spot's face for a few moments and an idea occurred to her that was shocking, to say the least. Sarah recalled the way Race had told her how Spot knew everything that went on in Brooklyn and that when it came to Tay, he would never let her go.
"Are you going to tell her that you know who did it?"
"One minute."
Sarah quickly reviewed everything she'd seen or heard that day, especially the scene between Tay and Spot that she'd stumbled up on earlier. She couldn't help herself before one question popped out without her even stopping to think about it.
"Why did you give her the key?"
Spot's eyes remained two pieces of ice and his smile was razor sharp. "Time's up, Jacobs."
At first, Race had chosen to ignore Tay when she'd stepped into the firelight and took a silent seat opposite him. Instead, he had poked at the fire, stirring up sparks that disappeared in the night sky. Tay's appearance had changed dramatically since the last time he'd seen her but he knew it would be pointless to ask how she was doing. It was clear from the deep purple smudges under her eyes and her hollowed out cheeks that Tay was having a difficult time.
"Look, you ain't gotta talk but I just want you to know that I'm sorry," Race said quietly. Tay continued staring into the fire and gave no sign that she'd heard Race or intended to answer. He glanced at the bag by her side and thought about the scene earlier. He nodded his head toward the bag. "Is it laudanum? Something stronger?" Tay's eyes darted up to meet his before she looked away again. Race took it as a sign of encouragement to continue. "Lemme guess, he don't like you using it. Gotta agree with him there, kid."
It was unusual for Race to feel that level of discomfort with Tay and he thought disdainfully of how he'd allowed Sarah to talk him into crossing the bridge into Brooklyn under the guise of helping Tay. Race knew Tay wouldn't accept or even listen to any offers from anyone. For a moment Race considered what might have been if he had never agreed to Spot's deal, or if he had broken it sooner. Over time his friendship with Tay had grown colder but he felt as if she had crossed some sort of divide to where he could no longer reach her at all. Maybe it was the fact that the more time Race spent in Manhattan, the more out of place he felt whenever he tried to return to Brooklyn.
"Sarah just wants to help," Race explained. "She don't mean nothing by it. I mean, if you want I can get her a note or something."
Tay shook her head and Race felt relieved that she was at least acknowledging him. "You can't stay out here with him. I'm freezing my ass off just sitting here. There's a place Sarah found in Manhattan for girls who…" Race fell silent as he saw Tay's expression darken to one of pure hatred. He knew without Tay saying a word that her miscarriage was off-limits as a topic of conversation and referring to it in any way would only drive Tay further away. A tense silence fell between the two and Race focused on watching the fire. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Tay running her fingers back and forth over a length of ribbon. Race recognized it as the same ribbon that had been delivered the afternoon Tay had left Manhattan. Race was stunned to see the key Spot had always worn around his neck tied along the ribbon Tay held but before he could say anything about it, Sarah reappeared by the fireside. Without any further explanation or giving him an opportunity to say anything else, Tay walked away toward the broken down building Sarah had just left. For a moment Race saw her silhouetted in the doorway and then she was gone.
