Chapter 12: Soulmates

Hi lovliess!!! Hope you're all well! Thank you for the sweet reviews, I'd love for you all to send one in as I can know you'd like me to continue this story! By the way please don't hate me by the end of this... thing always get better!! Enjoyyyyy!

(Sensitive topics around suicide and ptsd- feel free to skip if they upset or trigger you)

Also before we get into this chapter I'd like to dedicate this chapter to anyone affected by the COVID-19 virus. I know a lot of countries are on lockdown rn (including my own) and that can all be real scary and people are worried but I'd like to tell you all to be strong and keep a positive outlook, follow gudielines, stay safe and be kind! You are all in my prayers, I love you all! Stay safe lovelies x

"You're 24 weeks Erin, getting close." Hank sighed. Erin was currently say across from him in his office.

"I know."

"Are you prepared?"

"What?"

"Are you prepared? I mean is your apartment ready for a kid?"

"Why are you asking if I'M prepared? What about Jay? It's not like it's just me."

"I haven't seen Jay in 2 weeks."

"You know he's on furlough Hank. Him and Will have been taking some tome alone to figure everything out with his dad. He'll be back tonight. In work tomorrow morning."

"No, what he did was left you and my grandkid alone for 2 weeks."

"You all have been taking great care of me." Erin smiled. "Plus, Hailey and Kim have been staying over every night. Plus I call Jay every night, he's with his dad and Will."

"Huh."

It's true. After his dad came back, Will suggested they take a while away from the city, go down to their cabin in Wisconsin and figure their mess out. Jay was of course hesitant to leave Erin considering she was half way through her pregnancy. But all their family reasurred them that someone would be with Lindsay 24 hours a day. Much to Erins dismay.

To be fair it wasn't the worse thing. Hailey and Kim packed up a few bits and literally 'moved' into their apartment. Temporarily of course. The girls had a sleepover every night and though it was the most fun Erins had in months, she couldn't help but think of Nadia, and thinking of Nadia meant sooner or later they needed to start on the baby's bedroom. Plus considering the ordered the majority of things a few weeks ago, and it was just pulling up in the living room, they needed to start.

The room that would be their baby's nursery was currently Nadias bedroom. Erin hasn't stepped foot in there since before Nadia died. She just locked the room and put the key on a high shelf, but now their little girl needed a room and she was coming soon and they needed to start.

Considering Jay was back this evening, intelligence offered to come over and help decorate the room, in which Erin and Jay gratefully accepted.

So Jay would be back at 5pm tonight and the team would be here at 6pm to finally get this show on the road.

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"So he's finally coming back tonight?" Kim asked, disappointment evident in her voice.

Hailey, Erin and Kim were currently walking around a little baby shop that Natalie had mentioned to Erin. They were picking up the last few bits and bobs for the rooms and well... they couldn't help pick up a dress or two... okay maybe five or six! But they were literally adorable.

"Yeah." Erin sighed. Of course she was excited to see Jay for this first time in ages, but she'd miss having her girls around. "Seriously I'm going to miss living with you's."

"We told you you'd be begging for us to stay by the end of this." Hailey laughed, recalling how hesitant Erin was about them 'taking care of her.'

"I know. But really, thank yous. I couldn't of gotten through these past few days without you."

"What are best friends for?" Kim smiled.

"I know but, I just I don't know even know what to do when he gets back." Erin suddenly stopped in the middle of the store. She'd put off talking about Jay with the girls, but that he was coming back, she started to get nervous. "If that wasn't Adam in that car, he'd be in a jail cell right now." She whispered, not wanting people to hear this private conversation with her girlfriends, in this very public space.

"You're worried about him?" Hailey asked. Erin nodding in response. Of course she was worried.

"How did he seem on the phone?" Kim asked, as they started moving along again.

"I don't even know." She shrugged. "I can't tell over a phone."

Hailey looked at her watch. "He'll be back in a few hours. We all know Jay. He will be okay. I really think this getaway thing, sitting this out with his dad was good. He loves you Er, he'll be okay."

"She's right. And you's have all of 21 right behind you's." Kim smiled and squeezed her shoulder.

"Yeah, you's are right." Erin laughed it off.

"Right no more sad talk! I say ice cream talk!" Hailey suggested, as their stomachs began to rumble.

"Sounds like a plan." Erin laughed.

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"Will, the team will be here in a minute and Jay is still not here!! Where is he!"

Erin was currently screaming down the phone to Will. Jay wasn't home.

"Erin, him and my dad got into a big fight so I dropped him straight to your apartment, and drove off. I don't know here he is." Will sighed.

Erin heard the door knock. What was she meant to tell the team? He was running late? She had tried to ring his phone but it always went to voicemail.

"Yo! Lindsay, Halstead!" She heard Ruzek call out.

"Shit, Will I have to go."

"Eri-" Will started, but Erin had already turned the phone went off and went to the door.

'Just tell them you're running late.' She thought to herself.

Erin swung the door open, revealing the smiling faces of her team. "Guys." She smiled and moved out of the way to welcome them in.

"Where's Jay?" Tony asked.

"He's um running late. Traffic." Erin stuttered.

"Should we wait or-" Hailey began

"No, he um won't be home till late, so he said we should just do it."

"Right, lets goooo!!" Kev laughed.

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"I'll go order something to eat." Erin told the team.

They were all currently doing a different job in the room.

Hank and Al were doing the crib.

Ruzek, Hailey and Mouse were on wall duty, painting and hanging up pictures.

Tony and Kev were setting up a drawer.

Erin and Kim were currently sorting through baby clothes,'awwinggg' at everything they saw.

Erin dropped the outfit in her hand and went outside. She took a deep breathe. Going into Nadias room for the first time in 3 years was hard. But her team were right behind her, but she longed for Jays comfort.

"Hey, Er." Mouse called to her.

Erin felt tears burning in her eyes as she turned around to look at Mouse.

"I know he's back." Mouse told her. Erin pulled him into the kitchen so nobody could hear.

"Mouse." She managed through silent sobs. "What the hell is wrong?"

"Erin." Mouse sighed. Mouse knew this side of Jay. This dark, not coming home type of Jay.

"I know the whole PTSD thing but I don't." She sighed and plopped down on a stool, Mouse sitting beside her taking her hands in hers. "I know the whole nightmare stuff, but Will said he dropped him here hours ago and I just don't know where he is."

"He use to go to this dodgey bar on the south side when he was first struggling. I could check there?"

"Bring me." Erin demanded.

"No Erin. You'll stay here, finish everything off. I will go to Will, I will find Jay, I'll ping his phone, but Erin you'll stay here."

"But-"

"I'll sober him up, because more then likely he's drunk, okay?" Mouse stated, Erin sobbing at this. "Hey, look at me. I am here. I've been through this with Jay before, it's just his dad coming back brought a lot of shit up-",

"Halstead!!!!!!" Mouse and Erin suddenly jerked out of their chairs when they heard Adam shout.

"Hey guys!" They heard Jay say. "Where's Erin?"

"Hey." Erin came out and looked at her boyfriend for the first time in 2 weeks.

She took in his appearance. His hair was longer, he'd grown a beard and his clothes were shaggy. Erin looked at him. Didn't seem high nor drunk.

"Wow, someone has grown a lot." Jay laughed and walked over to Erin, giving her a kiss on her hair, while pressing his hand on her bump.

"It's only been 2 weeks." Erin laughed.

"Hey brother." Mouse smiled at Jay enveloping him in a hug, seeing how akward Erin was.

"Hey." Jay hugged him back.

"Guys the room is done! Wanna see?" Kev came out excitedly from the room.

The couple nodded and Jay toon Erins hand, though she couldn't help feel uncomfortable. 'Where has he been the last few hours'? But her thoughts were quickly interrupted as she entered her girls room.

The walls were a pale pink along with the long curtains and the cribs, drawers, changing table and wardrobe were all white. There was a grey nursing chair and difficulty decorations upon the walls, like butterflies and pictures. Erins eyes scanned a particular photo frame, the one nearest to the crib by the wall.

"You's put it up." She smiled, tears filling her eyes.

It was Nadias acceptance letter to the acedemy.

"Of course we did, kiddo. We know you wanted it in here." Hank came over and kissed her head.

"Guys this is amazing." Jay expressed his gratitude.

"Hey, Er you okay?" Adam asked, seeing Erins tears roll down her eyes.

"The only reason this baby will be here is because of her." Erin stated.

"What?" Jay asked. He did participate in the making of this kid too.

"Nadia." She sniffed. "Yates told me, before I killed him that if he'd never met Nadia, he would of went for me."

"Babe." Jay sighed. He never knew this story. He went and wrapped his strong arms around her. Erin finally finding some comfort in him. But they still had a lot to talk about.

"She'd be so proud of you, Erin." Antonio smiled.

"Our kid, will grow up knowing who her aunt Nadia was, and the sacrifice she made for so many people." Jay told her. He meant every word. He loved Nadia just as much as Erin did.

Erin nodded in response. "This will always be her home."

"This family will always be her family too." Kev smiled.

"Guys, I called some food. It's here." Mouse called.

Erin laughed and wiped her eyes. "Let's raise one to Nadia."

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"It was brave of you to share that story today about Nads." Jay smiled at Erin as she climbed in to bed, Erin only humming in response.

The questions replayed in her mind.

'Where was he for all those hours?'

'What did Will mean when he said him and his dad got into an argument?'

"Anyways-" Jay began.

"Where were you today? Will dropped you here at 5pm and you didn't get here till after 9pm, Jay. Where were you?"

"Erin-"

"No. Listen here Jay. I want to be here for you, but I don't know how to. So just lean on me. Let me look after you. I don't care that I'm the pregnant one. I want to help you, because I love you."

Jay just looked at her. Really looked at her. He mentally kicked himself for causing her so much stress.

He sighed and decided he needed to tell her the truth.

"The trip to Wisconsin was a good thing. Me, my dad and Will all really started to reconnect. But I got a cal from a wife of one of the guys I use to serve with. She said he was going crazy. Saying he was going to kill himself, her and their daughter. So of course I went up. I tried to calm him down but he just went running. I called some other buddies to go have a look for him but he was nowhere. I stayed with his wife and his kid, just made sure they were okay."

Erin looked at him with compassion in her eyes. "Jay." She sighed and put her hands on his cheeks.

"And about that drinking thing while I was driving, Erin I was genuinely just jamed up and-"

"No need to explain." Erin cut him off. "But Jay whenever you do feel like this. I want you to tell me. Immediately. You've been here for me through everything and I'm going to do the same with you."

"And that is why I love you Erin Lindsay." He gently placed a soft kiss on her lips, which just set off a bomb inside them. And well let's say they had an eventful night...

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"Okay, Tony no worries. We will be right there." Erin put her phone down.

"Crime scene?" Jay asked, waking up from his slumber.

"Yep." Erin groaned.

"I don't know why you're groaning, Hank doesn't make you go to scences unless you want too."

"Well it's -" Erin checked her phone. "7am, so technically he does."

"Cmon" Jay laughed, pulling her from the bed.

"I wanna stay with you-" Erin started to get all seductive. "Have a little fun like last night. What you say?" She whispered, voice extra husky as she knew it drove him mad.

"Cold shower for me." Jay murmered and rushed pass his girl before he gave into temptation.

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"So what's the address?" Jay asked as they hoped into the car, shockingly he was driving.

Erins bump made it increasingly hard and uncomfortable to drive so as the days went on, letting Halstead take control of the wheel became easier.

"Emm-" Erin pulled out her phone to double check. "56 Greenlake Grove."

"What?" Jay asked, immediately pulling the keys from the ignition.

"56 Greenlake Grove." Erin repeated the address Dawson sent her. She saw her boyfriend suddenly jump into action. He started the car and started to speed to the address that wasn't too far from their house.

"Jay! Slow down! What the hell?" Erin shouted.

"What did they say was up at this house?!" Jay asked, panicked.

"3 dead people. Jay why are you panicking?"

"My army buddy I went to see last night, that his house."

The car fell silent.

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"So what we know?" Hank asked, eyeing Jay.

Lindsay had informed him that this was a personal case for Jay, Hank even hesitant to let Jay on this case as he was the last person they knew of to see these people.

Though it was quite clear to everyone when Jay got to the scence that this was personal.

"Dom, he was a god man. His wife Kara was a kindergarten teacher and his daughter Emma was in the 8th grade." Jay spoke.

"Okay, thanks." Erin put the phone at her desk down and looked to Jay and sighed, Jay getting that she had bad news.

"Erin just say it." Jay sighed, rubbing his temples.

"Ballistics came back. Dominaks gsw was consisted with suicide, while Kara and Emma's were definitely the result of another person."

"Fuck!!!" Jay shouted. "Dom told me he was going to kill himself and the girls! And I did nothing! Nothing!"

"Jay it's not your fault." Mouse said, this was hard on him as well. Dom was a friend to both of them.

Jay sighed and went towards the exit. "This is all bullshit."

"Jay-" Erin tried to go after him, but Mouse stopped her. "Let him go."

Hank cleared his throat. "Let's confine this case and put it to rest."

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"Halstead okay?" Hank asked. Him and Lindsay currently sitting in his office.

"I don't even know." Erin sighed.

"Goes on two week furlough then ends up as the last person to see 3 dead people, including a man he knew was suicidal. Ain't good Erin."

"That wasn't Jays fault. Dominak was off the hinges."

"He could of put the wife and daughter into protective custody."

"Kara refused. Can't force someone into protective custody."

"Hmm." Hank just answered.

"Speaking of the devil." Erin held up her phone, reveling a text message from Jay. "Staying at Mouses tonight, sorry about today. I love you- Jay." Erin read the text message aloud.

"Do you believe that?"

"Why shouldn't I?"

"Erin." Hank just said, like that was an answer.

"I'll call Mouse. He can clear it all up." Erin took her phone out and dialed Mouses phone number, it automatically going to voicemail. "They're probably just watching a game." She sighed.

But deep down. She knew there was more to the story.

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"What the-" Erin was jolted awake by a sudden sound. She immediately reached over to Jay but realized he wasn't there, he was at Mouses.

She immediately grabbed her service weapon from her bottom drawer and slowly made her way out the bedroom door.

"Who's there?!?!" She shouted in the strongest voice she could, hand protectively covering her baby bump.

"Hey Erin!" Jay smiled in the middle of the dark living room. Erin turned on the light.

"What the hell Jay!!!?"

"That's bright." He giggled.

Erins heart sunk when she looked at Jay in the light. "Are you high?"

"No I'm Jay."

Erin sat Jay down in the chair and rubbed her hand over her face. He was definitely on something.

"For God sake Jay! What did you take?" Erin asked, leaning over him, inspecting him making sure he wasn't physically injured. Jay just opting to play with her hair that dangled over her shoulders.

"Where's Mouse?"

"There's a mouse?!" Jay suddenly seemed frightened.

"Oh my God! You've a big belly Er bear." He immediately changed the topic when he saw Erins bump.

Erin just took out her phone and called Mouse, and told him to call Will. She didn't know what to do.

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"Nope, he wasn't with me." Mouse confirmed.

Mouse, Will and Erin were all in Jay and Erins apartment, Jay dozing on the coach.

"I'm guessing he took benzodiazepines. I mean the confusion and memory loss, seems plausible. I've took them before, I'd guess them." Erin suggested. "He ever take drugs before?"

"Maybe some sleeping pills and painkillers but nothing like this." Will sighed from the kitchen, pointing to his brother, currently laying on the couch.

"This all started with his dad coming back and now Dom dying." Mouse sighed.

"I know I shouldn't of gave dad his address." Will stressed.

"Not your fault Will." Erin reassured.

"What do we even do here? Do we loop Voight and all in?" Mouse asked.

"Hanks definitely getting suspicious-" Erin began, when Will interrupted her.

"Where's Jay?!"

"He was just there!" Erin shouted.

"Guys the doors open!" Mouse shouted.

"Shit. His keys." Erin noticed his keys from the key bowl were gone. "Fuck! He was fine a few hours ago! Fine! What the hell is this!!!????"

"PTSD." Will said calmly.

"Erin go back to bed. It's 4am. We will find Jay." Mouse told her.

"No, I'm coming and we're getting him back."

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"So y'all catch that game last night?" Adam asked.

All of intelligence, minus Jay, Erin and Mouse were currently walking up the stairs.

"Yeah, Cubs were unreal!" Kim laughed.

"What is that?" Hanks gravely voice asked.

"Someone is crying." Hailey said. "It's coming from upstairs!" She said in more of a whisper now.

"Stay there." Al said, him and Voight taking a lead on this.

Al slowly peeked up and saw a man scrawled across Halsteads desk, crying. It think him another second to realize that it was actually Halstead. "It's Jay."

"Jay?" Hank asked and opened the gate going over to the sleeping man.

"What the hell?" Kev said, scratching his head.

"Yo, Jay! Time to wake up." Adam joked, playfully hitting the sleeping man.

"NO!!! DON'T PLEASE IM SORRY." Jay suddenly started to violently trash in his sleep.

"Wow!" Adam pulled his arm back quickly after getting a hit from Jay that would definitely turn into a bruise.

"STOP! TAKE COVER! MAN DOWN!" Jay continued to shout.

If intelligence wasn't confused enough, suddenly up came Erin, Mouse and Will, Erin practically running. Of course the district would be the last place they'd check.

"Close the blinds, the light is bad!!!! NOW!" Erin shouted at her team, them all obliging. "He's having a nightmare. Don't touch him."

Sure they all knew Jay had served in the army but they didn't know the extent. And seeing their brother like this was scary.

"Back up." Erin whispered. "Hey, Jay it's Erin." Erin gently placed her hand in his. "You're in Chicago. You're at home and you're safe. Your family are all here babe."

Jays trashing begin to lessen and be started to mutter Erins name.

Soulmates.

"I'm right here. You're okay. You're okay."

Suddenly Jay jolted up. It was clear he was in some sort of distressed. Erin could tell he wasn't high anymore, but withdrawal would definitely come soon.

He looked around the room at the panicked faces, his breathing steadying, Erin still at his side.

"You okay?" Erin asked.

"What the hell Erin!?" Jay shouted, and pushed her off of him.

"Hey careful Jay!" Will stepped in.

"Don't fucking touch me!!!" Will shouted.

"Jay-" Erin began.

"Stay.away.from.me.Lindsay."

Everyone's eyes widened. Did Jay literally call her Lindsay? They never call each other by their surnames unless it was in a joking manner. And this was certainly not a joking matter.

"Hey, what's going on man?" Mouse tried. Jay just pushed past him.

"Halstead! Get your ass back here!!" Voight ordered.

"Piss off Voight. All of you! Don't come near me." And with that Jay Halstead was gone.

"What just happened?" Kim asked.

Everyone turned to Erin, who had tears in her eyes and hand on her baby bump. "I-what- Will, Mouse." She turned to the two men she knew, knew Jay nearly as well as she did.

"He probably just needs to cool off." Mouse suggested.

"THAT WAS NOT 'COOLING OFF'!!!" Erin screamed. "Doing those types of drugs is not 'cooling off!' There's something seriously wrong!!" Erin shouted.

"Drugs?" Hank asked.

"I need to find Jay." Erin panicked.

"Hey, Erin just wait." Al suggested.

"NO! I've been waiting for two weeks! Jay needs my help. I have to go." And with that, Erin too, was gone.

"You two better tell me what that was about." Hank eyed Mouse and Will who both uncomfortably looked at each other.

Mouse took a deep breathe and explained to the team what the hell has been happened in the past few days with Jay.

The drunk driving.

His dad.

Drugs.

Dominak.

Everything.

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"Hey!! Sweeney!" Erin called out, running down the stairs to see a patrolmen friend of hers.

"Lindsay, what's up?!" He smiled.

"I need you to track Jays phone."

"Sure thing. Everything okay?"

"That's debatable."

"Halstead okay?"

"When will this be ready!?" Erin grew impatient but suddenly a ding came up on Sweeney's computer.

"Says he's at your and his address." Sweeney said.

"Thank you! Owe you one!"

"Good word upstairs???!!!" Sweeney shouted, but Erin was already half way out the door.

Ready to face whatever life what about to throw at them.

But as she stepped into their apartment, she did expect to see their daughters nursery opened, a needle on the floor. A line of coke on the coffee table along with unopened beer cans in the living room and nothing would prepare for what she found in her Jays bedroom.

Allie and Jay having sex. Jay was cheating on her.

So how much do y'all hate me!! I promise it will get better hehehe!! Anyways hope you enjoyed and please leave any reviews and suggestions, I love them !! Until next time, stay safe and be kind!

All my love x