Chapter 12-
Rey was restless.
A day had passed since delivering Leia's message to Ben and then impulsively kissing him on the cheek. She couldn't believe she had done it! He had been standing so close, his large, masculine frame practically enveloping her, and he smelled... so...good. She did not know what exactly it was- clean, tempting..man? Whatever it was, it had unfurled its fingers and pulled her in before she could stop herself. Now she couldn't seem to sit still, so she made her way down to the training room, hoping to work off some of her excess energy. When she arrived, she was surprised to find Finn helping a new civilian recruit learn how to use a blaster.
"Yeah, that's it!" he exclaimed with one of his big, toothy grins. The young man fired a shot that made it almost into the center of the practice target. Rey noticed several blaster burns far outside of the bullseye indicating his previous lack of accuracy. After a few more successful shots, the young man ceased firing and glanced proudly over at Finn. Her friend clapped the young man on the back encouragingly and then noticed her walking his way. He waved, turned to dismiss his 'student', and started walking toward her.
As soon as she was close enough, he pulled her into a friendly hug like he so often did. She couldn't help but smile and squeeze him back. Eventually, he pulled back to look at her, his hands still on her shoulders. "What are you up to?" he asked innocently.
She shrugged. "I just thought I'd get some practice in. I've been a bit...restless lately," she confessed sheepishly.
Finn nodded and dropped his hands to his sides. "No wonder. Things are definitely a little crazy lately. Want some company? I could stand to practice a little bit too. Don't want to get rusty on my hand-to-hand," he joked.
"Sure!' She replied, happy to have a distraction from her muddled thoughts of Ben Solo. However, she didn't dare tell Finn about those thoughts or that she was secretly in contact with him. He might not understand her complicated relationship with the leader of the First Order. To be truthful, she wasn't sure she understood it either. By all accounts, he should be her mortal enemy. But she just couldn't bring herself to think of him that way and had not since that night in the hut on Ahch-To. The moment their hands touched changed everything for her. They were connected by the Force, no doubt, but what exactly did it want from them? The more she saw him, learned about him, the more their bond grew. She couldn't shake the inevitable feeling they each had an important role to play in the other's life. It was partly why she wasn't resisting the urge to keep fighting for him.
But for now, she would keep all thoughts about Ben Solo to herself.
"How about staffs?" Finn asked, breaking into her train of thought. She glanced up at him as he tossed a staff her way. She caught it easily and spun it skillfully to gauge its feel in her hands. "I'll take that as a yes," he grinned.
In the next second, they were engaged in a sparring match that required her full attention. Finn was certainly improving. In the past, she had been able to practically anticipate his moves whenever they practiced together. This time it seemed as if their roles were reversed and he was anticipating hers. Just when she thought she was going to land a good blow, he blocked and parried her strikes. A few times he nearly caught her off guard and sent her down on her back side.
"You're getting pretty good at this!" she admitted with grunt as their staffs crashed together again and again. She spun around, determined this time to catch him off-guard, but something caught her eye off to the side of the room. She froze. The staff dropped out of her hand and clanked loudly on the floor. "Ben?" she said.
Fortunately, Finn noticed her distraction just in time to avoid making contact with her back. However, she didn't even seem to notice. Her eyes were focused on a spot across the room even though they were the only two left in attendance. "Rey? Are you okay?" he asked worriedly.
She took a few steps forward, eyes locked on that spot, astonishment and dismay etched on her face. Finn gently touched her arm. "Rey?" he asked again. She quickly turned to him with fear in her eyes.
"I have to go," she said suddenly. "Where's Rose?" she questioned, finally turning back to look at him. "Where is she?"
He was taken aback by her instant change in demeanor and her strange, out of the blue question. "She-she's in the main hangar, I think. Why? Is everything ok? I'm a little worried about you, Rey." He reached out to touch her gently on the arm in concern. She glanced down at his hand and then back up to his face, placing her hand over his.
"I'll be fine," she assured him, "but I have to go find Rose." Offering him a final smile, she turned and ran out of the the training room.
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General Armitage Hux gazed out at the small band of elite Stormtroopers and trusted officers assembled in front of him. This moment was the culmination of many months of meticulous planning. In fact, truth be told, from the moment he first met Kylo Ren, Hux knew he needed to get rid of him at all costs. Ren had been a thorn in his side, always a rival for Snoke's approval, an arrogant usurper of the power that should be his own. He, Hux, deserved to be the leader of the First Order- not Kylo Ren, the petulant, immature son of blasted Resistance fighters!
However, now it was finally time for action.
"What we do here today will launch the First Order into a new era of glorious power," he declared. "Kylo Ren is a traitor. You have all seen the proof of his lies and his blatant acts of treason...killing our rightful leader… working in league with the scavenger girl… and communicating and plotting with the enemy leader of the Resistance who just so happens to be his own mother.
"It will not be easy," he continued, trying to sound as inspiring as possible. "As you know, he is capable of using his unusual abilities to inflict great damage. But only if we are unprepared. We must use the element of surprise to ensure our success. The first wave will need to distract and weaken him in order to prevent him from using his Force powers. However, as soon as you have the kill shot, take it.
"Traitors deserve no mercy."
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His world was upside down. Kylo Ren had no idea what to do next. Things were changing whether he wanted them to or not. Like a charging mudhorn, there was no stopping the inevitability of it all. For better or worse, he was awake...awake in a way he had never been before...realized so many things he had ignored for far too long because of anger and resentment. He had shut himself off from his family, his friends, his connection to the Light...and for what?
After watching the message from his mother several times, and crying privately in his room for what felt like hours, he was more confused than ever. Her words filled his heart with dangerous hope, something he had lacked for years now. She said she loved him...forgave him...would abandon her life's work if he only came home to her. Part of him admitted, albeit grudgingly, that a small part of him- that scared, sad, lonely little boy- wanted nothing more than to go home and act as if nothing in the past several years had even happened. To feel his mother's arms embrace him, feel cared for, feel loved… his lonely soul practically cried out for it.
But immediately the Dark Side would whisper in his other ear, memories of Snoke's words. 'She sent you away, my boy. She didn't want to bother with you. You weren't important enough to her- definitely not more important than her commitment to her work. There is no life for you back there. You know it. Now, you must accept it. There is no going back."
He took a deep breath and decided he needed to get out of his room, get his mind off of it all. If possible, he needed to gain some clarity. He headed to the command room that overlooked the vast ship hangar filled end to end, floor to ceiling with the most advanced tie fighters and various other military vessels. It was his- all of it, under his control. He alone controlled the fate of countless worlds… countless lives. He could have anything he wanted.
Except happiness.
He inhaled deeply and exhaled in a huff as he surveyed this portion of his vast empire. All of this, and he was not the least bit satisfied.
"I told you, without someone to share it with, life is meaningless."
Kylo turned around to see Luke, once again, in all of his Force ghost glory, standing behind him. Quickly, he checked to see if anyone else was in the room. Luckily, they were alone- at least, for now.
"Don't you have something better to do?" Kylo asked in annoyance, crossing his arms and staring back out the large viewing window to the hangar below.
Luke chuckled. "Nah. I have all the time in the world now," he replied jokingly, before adding seriously, "but you don't."
Kylo snapped his head to look at his uncle questioningly, but refused to ask exactly what that statement meant.
"You need to make a decision, Ben. The Light is reaching out to you. It sent Rey. It sent your mother's message." Kylo's face showed his obvious surprise. Luke nodded his head. "Yes, I know a lot of things. It's a perk of my new 'position'."
The younger man composed himself, trying to maintain his terse demeanor. "Why would I give up all of this?" he asked, gesturing to the hangar and all around him. "I have more power than anyone else in the entire galaxy."
Luke's face showed pity. "And without love, you have nothing," he replied softly. "Ben, you don't know what the future holds. You don't even know what the next hour holds. What if all of this was gone?" Luke asked, spreading his arms wide as if to encompass all of the First Order.
The words knocked Kylo off-kilter, but he tried to recover. "I'm the Supreme Leader," he spat back curtly, doing his best to hide the effect Luke's words were having on him.
"Hmmm… true… for now," Luke contemplated. "I heard a saying once that there is always a bigger fish...someone to come along and be just a little stronger, a little better, a little more than you.
"To love and let yourself be loved are the greatest riches life has to offer. A lesson the Jedi of old chose to ignore. At the end of the day, the end of your life, that is what endures- your love for others and theirs for you. Make the right choice, Ben. I know you don't believe it right now, but you deserve to be happy."
He smiled one last smile of compassion and then faded away leaving the weight of his words lying heavy on Kylo's heart.
His shoulders slumped. What was he supposed to do? Part of him considered all that Luke, Rey and his mother had been suggesting- that it wasn't too late for him to turn away from the Dark Side and go back to the Light. The possibility of all it could offer- forgiveness, companionship, hope, love- was certainly tempting. For too long, he had been alone, immersed in anger, pain, resentment. The thought of letting all of that go, of being free of all the pain, made him think he could actually do it- leave the First Order and go home. Home… a word that had held no meaning for years. Was it really a possibility?
Then, right on cue, the Dark Side chimed in, reminding him of all of the hard work he had put into helping build the might of the First Order… all of the acts he had committed that were definitely not of the Light Side. How could someone like him- someone who killed his own father- ever be happy? He didn't deserve it. And never would.
He felt himself getting all tangled up inside again. Luke's words seemed to have an underlying sense of urgency, and that transferred to Kylo. He sensed a moment of choosing was imminent, a time when he would have to decide one way or the other. For now, he decided to head back to the training room and take out a few more sparring droids. Smashing things had always helped him deal with stress in the past.
Yes, that's what he would do for now. Later he would make a decision. He turned to leave. As he reached to push the open button, the doors slid apart before he could even make contact. Startled, he reared back and came face to face with a dozen or so Stormtroopers, all of them aiming blasters straight at him. Before he could do anything, he heard someone say, "Fire!"
The last thing he remembered was seeing the flash of countless blaster bolts and the smug, smiling face of General Hux glaring down at him before he lost consciousness and everything faded to black.
