A/N: I hope everyone is staying safe during this crazy time in the world. I live in Colorado and my state has a lot of uncertainty right now with lockdowns and quarantines being discussed. I am blessed to have an office job that took quick action a couple of weeks ago when our state had it's first confirmed cases of COVID-19 and have been working from home the last week and will continue to. It has also given me some extra time to write, so for that I am grateful, but I hope anyone who has also been affected by this, whether in the states or not, you are safe and taking precautions.

On a lighter note, I am just realizing this is my 7th update to this story in less than two months. I am so happy with the progression of this story so far and can't wait for what is to come. I am two chapters ahead currently, so more is coming. I have quite a few ideas for this story coming up, but I don't have a decided ending yet. This one could go on another 10, 20, or 40 chapters for all I know at this point. I have so many ideas and right now this is my easiest story to write for, so I am taking advantage of all the inspiration that comes.

This chapter is a bit of a filler for the next storylines to come, but after the heaviness of the last couple of chapters, I thought it was needed. Enjoy!

Dawson

I wait as Casey pushes the door open, then moves to let me come through our apartment first. I move slowly, and he is at my side a second later after pushing the door closed. He rests an arm on my low back and slowly guides me with one hand while he has Jesse in his carrier in the other. I offer him a thankful smile.

It had been 5 days since I woke up, and we were finally home.

Jesse and I had both been released this morning and I was so thankful to get to come home together. There had been talk about releasing Jesse earlier this week because he was doing so well, which was amazing... but the thought of him going home without me had broken my heart. Matt, bless him, had been spending every night and day at the hospital with us, and I knew if Jesse was released that would also end. The comfort of having Matt and Jesse around was what I needed.

Matt had talked with my doctor and convinced them to move us back into a bigger room so that Jesse could stay admitted and we could all be together much easier until I was released. Matt had been my rock throughout all of this. My recovery had not been easy so far. I had an infection after waking up and had to be put on antibiotics to knock it out. It had stalled my recovery significantly. I had been in more pain than I had ever experienced in my life for the first 48 hours after waking up.

Thankfully, I was starting to feel more like myself the past few days and was on the mend, though I was still in a lot of pain from my surgery.

Matt helped me get sat down on the couch and set Jesse's carrier on the floor beside me. He had fallen asleep on the car ride home and was still sleeping. I smiled when I saw him, just like I did every other time. I couldn't believe how much I loved him. He was the greatest thing that had ever happened to me. My heart felt so full every time I thought of him, every time I saw him, held him, fed him. He was the best baby and he had become such a momma's boy already.

"You need anything?" Matt asks and I shake my head, keeping a close eye on Jesse as he slept soundly in his seat. "Okay, I'm going to run to the truck and get everything brought in. I'll be right back."

He heads out and I hear the door fall closed behind him. A few moments later I watch Jesse start to wake up. He stretches his arms out, his little face screwed up for a moment before he starts to cry. Soft cries at first that soon turn into full-blown wails. I go to lean forward and stop as the pain shoots through my abdomen at the movement.

I look back at the door Matt had just moved through, I knew he would be right back, but I hated listening to Jesse's cries. I sighed and scooted myself closer to the end of the couch, carefully pulling Jesse's car seat closer to me. Leaning forward wasn't an option, so I couldn't just lean down and unbuckle him. I wasn't supposed to lift anything heavier than Jesse, so lifting his car seat with him in it was a no go... but it couldn't hurt once?

I look back to the door once more, Matt had yet to come back and Jesse's cries were killing me.

Careful not to lean forward too much I reach out and pull Jesse's seat up onto the couch, the pain shooting through my abdomen at the strain on my body was immense, but I did everything I could to ignore it as I put my focus onto my son. I quickly pulled Jesse out of his seat and into my arms snuggling him close. His cries started to taper off and he turned his head to me starting to root into my chest. I smiled softly at his action; we had mastered this over the past few days.

Since waking up I had exclusively been breastfeeding Jesse. After a little bit of struggle our first feeding he had quickly gotten the hang of it, and so had I. I carefully moved Jesse into one arm and shifted my shirt and sweater off before unclasping the soft nursing bra I had on. I switched my grip on Jesse and brought him close, the little boy latching on gratefully.

I ran my finger along his soft cheek and stared down at him lovingly, his blue eyes that matched his father's staring back up at me. Matt had been right, Jesse was my twin, though his skin tone was a mix of Matt and I's. His lips, cheeks, and nose were all me along with the tight curls that were on the top of his head, his hair a lighter brown than mine, but not near as light as Matt's. From the little smiles we had gotten from Jesse so far, it was clear he had his father's strong dimples as well.

He was the perfect baby. He was, so far, very calm. He cried when he was hungry, or needed to be changed, but otherwise, he was a fairly quiet boy. There wasn't much a few snuggles from his mom or dad could not fix and I had absolutely no problem holding him close to calm him.

"Where-" Matt's words cut off, and startle me at the same time. I jump, having not heard him come in, and meet his confused eyes as he stares at the car seat that was now on the couch. "What happened?" He asks a mix of teasing and annoyance in his tone.

I look at him sheepishly. "He started crying."

He sighs setting the bags down on the chair by the couch. "Gabby, you should have waited for me, you aren't supposed to be lifting anything." He scolds.

I shrug lightly, "I know, but you weren't in here, and it hurt to bend over... It's fine." I finish, trying to brush off his concern. I hated that Matt had to wait on me nearly hand and foot lately. I had been on bed rest the majority of my pregnancy, especially the last two months, and now I had major surgery and was down for at least another couple of weeks.

Matt sighs at my words but doesn't argue it. Instead, he moves the car seat back to the floor and takes a seat beside me, running a hand over Jesse's curls. Jesse's eyes move from me to Matt at the contact, but soon his big eyes are back on me.

"Man, he is cute," Matt says softly and I grin at his words, moving my eyes from Jesse to his father.

"He is. We are in for some trouble." I say lightly, earning a chuckle from the blonde man.

His eyes meet mine and my heart rate picks up at his stare, both of us sharing soft smiles.

Matt and I had once again fallen into familiar patterns since my delivery. The thing was, once we fell into them it was hard to shake, especially now with both of us on the high of having our little boy here.

Terms of endearment, kisses to the head and cheek – those were typical for us even when we weren't falling into those patterns. But since my delivery and recovery, it had been more than that. Kisses to the lips, whispered 'I love yous' to the other. I knew I was not innocent in the matter. I had initiated some of these moments... but I also knew I was on the high of fighting off my own mortality. This is what I had been afraid of. This is why I had refused for Casey and me to get together before I had Jesse. I didn't want us to only be together for comfort, or for Jesse. I didn't want him to want me only because I could die.

I knew we would once again need to take a step back to gain some perspective, but that was also difficult when I did, in fact, love Casey. I knew I loved him, I knew I wanted him and me to be a family with Jesse. I just wanted him to want that too for the right reasons. I didn't want him to feel obligated to be with me.

It was hard to see the fine line of where our friendship and relationship began and ended, and now there was a new level in there as well. Our fine line between friendship, relationship, and now parenthood.

Matt was already such an amazing father. He had stepped up so much and taken care of Jesse amazingly. He had taken care of me as well, if I was being honest. Matt had been taking care of Jesse and me nonstop the past few days and I was forever grateful for the man that he was.

We both look back down to Jesse, his eyes were starting to fall closed as he ate, every few seconds he would force them back open. At this point I knew he was finished and carefully broke his latch. My full attention going back to Jesse as I fixed my bra and brought him onto my shoulder. I leaned back into the couch carefully and patted the baby's back as he snuggled into my neck. His hands reaching out and gripping onto my skin.

Matt is looking at us now, watching me take care of Jesse with a sweet smile on his face, and it's his eyes on me that makes me very aware of my state of undress... though I knew that was likely the last thing on his mind.

I was sat on the couch with just my nursing bra and high waisted leggings on after having shed my shirt and sweater to feed our boy, I was at least grateful for my leggings that covered the scar on my stomach. As far as I was aware, Casey had yet to see it, and I was okay with keeping it that way. My body had changed so much since giving birth and being pregnant and to say I was uncomfortable in my own skin would be an understatement.

While my stomach had flattened out, for the most part, I still had a pouch at the bottom of my stomach that I doubted would ever leave, along with the large scar on my lower stomach and the stretch marks that I had acquired on my hips and stomach. I was grateful there were not more, but I still was not used to looking in the mirror and seeing what I now saw reflecting back at me. I am sure Matt felt the same.

The last time we had been together was before my pregnancy, though I knew he had seen me throughout my pregnancy and had seen my body grow, for whatever reason I had not felt insecure then. I had felt confident throughout my pregnancy, for the most part at least. Now I felt terrible. I hoped a lot of that had to do with still being so down and in pain and it would dissipate as the pain did, but for now, I hated the idea of Matt seeing my body.

I hated what he would be seeing, and what he would be comparing it to.

Matt's words pull me from my thoughts. "Want me to take him and get him laid down?" He asks.

I look to Jesse who has fallen asleep snuggled into my shoulder, the skin to skin contact enough to knock him out quickly. Though I had no issues snuggling with him for his whole nap, a shower in my home and something to eat other than hospital food was tempting.

I nod, and we seamlessly make the transfer without waking him, something we had gotten great at lately. Matt cradles Jesse close and I quickly pull my t-shirt back over my head to cover myself.

I slowly scoot forward on the couch to get up and Matt leans his arm out, helping me carefully pull myself up from the low position. "Thanks." I murmur giving him a shy smile. "I uh, I am going to go take a shower. Wash the hospital off me." I tell him.

Matt nods following me into the bedroom to lay Jesse down in the bassinette we would be using over the next few weeks. I watch Matt rock Jesse and place a kiss on his head before carefully laying him into the crib. I grab myself clothes and a towel before looking at my pajamas knowing something loose would be the most comfortable on my incision.

"Can I uh, can I borrow a shirt?" I ask timidly. Matt smiles brightly and goes to his dresser, pulling out one of his old faded CFD shirts, one he knew was my favorite. He walks to me and hands it over.

"You know you don't have to ask Gabs." He tells me, his smile unmoving.

I nod taking the shirt gratefully and moving to the bathroom, shutting the door behind me and taking a deep breath.

I take my time taking a shower scrubbing the hospital off me and washing my hair gratefully. When I step out of the bathroom 45 minutes later it is quiet in the apartment. I check on Jesse and see he is still sleeping soundly in his bassinette before moving out into the open floor plan in search of Matt.

I find him on the couch passed out. The baby monitor resting on his chest in one hand the other pulled behind his head. I smile softly at him and carefully lay the blanket off the back of the couch over him.

I'm grateful when he doesn't wake at the action, I knew how exhausted he must be.

He had been wearing himself thin being super dad and taking care of me.

I move back to the bedroom, deciding a nap while Jesse was asleep sounded like a great idea.

Severide

Walking through the apartment door after shift I take in the scene in front of me, a smile growing on my face.

Matt was rushing around, a dirty diaper in one hand, the baby bath in the other, a clear spit up stain on his shoulder. Gabby was sat on the couch in her nursing tank top and shorts, hair pulled into a messy bun with Jesse in her arms; the baby's loud wails filling the room.

Both new parents looked disheveled.

"Matt, will you get that pillow?" Gabby asks over Jesse's cries, pointing to the donut shaped pillow on the chair. Matt, ever the doting dad throws the diaper away and sets the bath on the table before moving back over to get the pillow for Gabby. He helps her adjust it the pillow to her liking while she maneuvers Jesse around and takes care of the nursing bra in her way. Once she is settled, she brings Jesse close, the baby quickly latches. The room quieting immediately as the baby eats.

I clear my throat now that the chaos seems to have settled for a moment and the new parents' eyes meet mine.

"Hey Sev." Matt says, running a hand over Gabby's shoulder before moving back to whatever task he had been doing before helping Gabby as he grabs the baby bath and disappears around the corner.

"Morning." I reply before moving to take a seat in the chair beside Gabby. "How's it going, Momma?" I ask her.

She smiles tiredly looking down to the nearly four-week-old baby. "Long night, Jesse was up and down a lot more than normal and was doing a lot of comfort nursing in between."

I nod along at her words. "So not a lot of sleep for you." I say, knowing Jesse had been exclusively fed by Gabby so the more the baby was up, the more she was. It explained her extra tired look this morning.

Gabby and Jesse had been home for over two weeks now and we had all settled into a good pattern, I had tried my best to stay out of their way, not wanting to intrude on their time together as a family, but Matt and Gabby had made it clear I wasn't an intrusion. They made sure I was just as comfortable now that Jesse was here as I always had been, which I was.

Jesse finally being here was amazing, it felt like we had been working on the baby room for years now, not months, so finally having him occupy that room and our apartment felt great. He was a great baby too. He wasn't much of a crier unless he was hungry or needed something. He loved to be held, he was just as content in my arms as he was Matt and Gabby's... okay maybe not just as.

It was clear he was one hundred percent a momma's boy. There were times both Casey and I could not calm him down, but the minute Gabby took him he settled. Content to just be held by his mother. Which I knew she loved, but could also see just how exhausting it was for her as well. She was still recovering from her surgery, and it had been a much slower process than she was hoping for, along with the expected new parent lack of sleep.

Gabby and I had a learning curve when she first came home, neither of us necessarily prepared for what her exclusively breastfeeding would mean. I had tried to make myself scarce when she needed and she had tried to use covers and the like when I was around. That all ended after only a few days when Gabby had told me to get over it, she was exhausted and at this point could care less if I, or anyone else saw her chest. She had also made the valid point that we were all adults and had seen each other change in the locker room a million times at the firehouse.

It had definitely lessened any tension that had been around that particular situation and made it easier for Gabby and me to be around and me to offer any help when Matt was out or unable too.

"Yeah, I am beat." Gabby says referring to my prior words and pulls me from my thoughts. "Don't get me wrong, Matt does all he can to help, but Jesse has just been wanting me the past couple days." She sighs staring down at the little boy in her arms, his blue eyes staring back up at her.

I smirk. "He is definitely a momma's boy." She scoffs at my words, but her smile is unmoving as she stares at her son. "What, you disagree?" I tease at her scoff.

Her eyes meet mine, "No, he for sure is. Just don't keep teasing Matt about that, you're going to make him jealous." She jokes back.

Casey comes back into the room now and sets on the couch near Gabby.

"Who's going to be jealous?" He asks, smiling down at his son as his eyes move to his father briefly before going right back to Gabby.

"You, over how much of a sucker that little boy is for his mom." Kelly jokes, Matt rolls his eyes, but his smile still beams.

"Nah, I love how much he loves her." He says softly sparing a loving look to his son before his eyes meet Dawson's once more, a shy smile passing between them.

I shake my head at the two, they had been so focused on Jesse I knew they hadn't much time to discuss themselves, but it was clear the love was still there and shining brighter than ever between the two lately.

"How was shift?" Casey asks, their attention moving back to me as Gabby continues to nurse.

"It was good. Squad only had two calls, but the rest of the house was slammed most of the day and night. They all kept asking about you." I tell them, my last comment directed to Casey.

The house had been curious about how much longer the Truck Lieutenant would be out for. They had barely had Matt back a few weeks after his shooting and then he went out again when Gabby gave birth and had been out for almost a month now.

We all knew Casey would take some time off after Gabby had given birth, but with her having the emergency c-section and having such a rough recovery Casey had been unwilling to even discuss leaving her alone the past few weeks. I knew with Jesse approaching one month and Gabby finally fully on the mend it was nearly time for Casey to start figuring out what came next for him.

He brushes off my comment about the house's questions, only responding with, "You squad guys have it so easy, barely having to leave the house all shift." He teases.

I shake my head at his deflection and turn my eyes to Gabby instead. "Everyone has been asking about you two as well. Wanting to make sure you are recovering alright, also wanting to come to visit, but not wanting to intrude." I explain and she offers a gentle smile.

"You can tell them I am doing good; Jesse and I both are. Now that things are starting to settle and I am moving around easier I think it will be okay for them to come visit soon. Maybe we will even venture a visit to the firehouse." Her eyes look down to Jesse, his big baby blues still staring up at her. "Huh, bub? You think you'd be up for a firehouse trip?"

The baby continues to eat, his arm smacking against Gabby's chest at her voice, but otherwise offering no other response. Gabby presses a kiss to his fingers as his hand reaches up and hits her chin. I smile at the site. Watching Dawson being a mom was a beautiful sight. It came so naturally to her. I had never seen someone be so fit for a role in my life.

It had not been easy on Gabby since she got home. She was in a lot of pain the first week after getting released from the hospital. She struggled to get around on her own, and she was obviously uncomfortable and exhausted. Dawson had a harder time learning how to deal with the pain from her surgery and how to allow Matt to take care of her than she did at learning how to take care of Jesse, that much was clear. She fell into the role so seamlessly, not that I or Matt had been surprised... but we at least expected her to get flustered here or there. We expected her to need some breaks now and then, but she hadn't. She was an amazing mother, and if she ever had a doubt or issue, she didn't know the answer to we were none the wiser.

She seemed to know what Jesse needed before he even made a peep and even on the days, like today, when she was sleep deprived and exhausted, she took it all in stride. The smile permanently etched to her face every single time she looked to her son. Matt and I both were in awe of her.

Gabby was amazing, but that was not to say Matt wasn't also amazing. Casey was the best father. He doted on Gabby and Jesse's every need. He had done everything he could to support Gabby after she got home. He had confided in me once that he had felt nearly useless in helping with Jesse after Gabby woke up. She was insistent on exclusively breastfeeding, and though Matt supported it, he had also been worried after she woke up that she was pushing herself and had tried to convince her to let him feed Jesse a bottle instead a time or two. Gabby had nearly killed with the looks she threw his way, and Matt had eventually decided there was no convincing her of anything else, but he had been there every step of the way. He was always jumping in to burp and change Jesse immediately after Gabby fed him. He wanted to ensure even if he couldn't help with the feeding process currently, he would do everything he could to pick up the slack in other departments.

Matt was a champ at rocking Jesse to sleep and at wrangling a dirty diaper... blowouts had become his specialty and Gabby had no issues passing her sweet boy along to his father when those instances would occur.

I felt lucky to get to witness this part in my two best friends lives. There were the picture-perfect parents, and Jesse was so loved and adored. He was a lucky kid.

"How is acting Lieutenant Hermann been working out?" Gabby asks, her words bring me out of my head and drawing Matt's attention as well.

I smile wide. "He's doing good. You'd be proud Casey. Though I think his head is getting big, we need you back sooner than later." I joke, bringing my words back to what I had originally been hinting to, hoping Matt would take the bait this time.

Matt smiles, Gabby chuckles at my words. "Sounds like Chris." She says.

"We will see what Gabby and Jesse's next appointment brings." Is all Matt answers, his eyes trained on his son.

My brows furrow, Gabby's doing the same, her stare moving to Matt. "Matt, you know you can go back whenever you are ready. Jesse and I will be fine." She assures and I know she doesn't want him missing any more work on her account. It was clear that if Matt wanted to stay because he wanted more time with Jesse or he himself just was not ready to go back then Gabby was fine with whatever he chose. That much was clear, but it was also clear if the only reason he was prolonging his time off was because of not wanting to leave her than she would have none of it.

Matt meets her look and shrugs, "I know, Gabs." He answers simply before pulling himself from the couch. "I'm going to make us some lunch." He says, heading off to the kitchen.

Gabby and I stare at each other for a moment, I could see the tension on her shoulders at Matt's response. More than anything I knew Gabby wanted Matt to quit worrying about her and do what he thought was best for him. If he was missing work and wanted to get back then that was what she wanted for him.

"You okay?" I ask. She shrugs, her eyes diverting to the baby in her arms.

"Yeah, yeah, I just... I just want to make sure he is not going back to work yet for him and for Jesse... not because of me." She says softly, there is no mistaking the emotion in her voice.

I nod sympathetically. "You know even if part of this had to do with you, there is still a part of him that wouldn't want to go back because of Jesse and Jesse alone," I tell her.

Gabby nods, gnawing her bottom lip into her mouth for a few moments before continuing on. "I know. I know that logically, but this is what I wanted to avoid." My brows crease at her words. "Ever since I found out I was pregnant I have always just wanted to ensure Matt wasn't making decisions just based off of me. We weren't together when I found out and we still are not now, and if we ever plan to get back there, I want it to be for the right reasons. I never want Matt to look back and realize he got back together with me, or he stayed around or... I don't know, he anything, just because I was pregnant and the mother of his child." Gabby sighs frustrated at her own words. I can see the internal battle going on in her head.

"I know that probably doesn't make sense, and I know that what I am feeling and this situation aren't the same, but I just... Him making sacrifices for me, no matter how small or large they are, I want him to do it because he loves me, really loves me for me, not because of the circumstances around us."

The vulnerability in Dawson's voice throws me off, it was clear that even if Casey's comment about not going back to work didn't mean a lot to him, it meant a lot to Gabby. She was terrified of going down a wrong road to get back with Casey. She wanted him, that much was clear, but she only wanted him to want her if it was what he wanted. She didn't want him to feel trapped or obligated to be with her and as messed up as her thinking was, I could understand her concerns, but it was still disheartening seeing Dawson so unsure of herself.

After a few minutes of silence, I lean forward in my chair. "Look Dawson, I get what you are saying, I even respect it, but I can guarantee you any time you spend with Casey, he isn't looking for an easy way out. He isn't looking at you like you trapped him or he is obligated to be here. He is looking at you like a man desperately in love. I have never seen Casey so in love and sure of something as much as he is sure of you. Never doubt that, no matter what you do, alright?"

Gabby continues to gnaw on her lip, the tension still clear in her shoulders. "I know he loves me; I do. Logically I know Matt loves me and no matter our situation that hasn't changed... but we broke up for a reason, Kelly. We broke up for a reason and I don't want us jumping back into something until we work out all of our issues. It's not fair to jump back in blind here because it is not just us to consider anymore." She says softly, her eyes training on Jesse at her last words, the baby starting to drift as he ate.

I sigh, unsure what to say. All of Gabby's words were understandable, but I still wasn't sure what the two of them were waiting for. I knew they had their problems in the past and I knew they had some talks to get through, but I did not understand what was taking them so long to get there.

"I get it, Gabby, but what are you two doing to get there?" I question, her confused eyes meeting mine. "You both keep saying you have things to work out, to talk about. You say you don't want to get back together for the wrong reasons... but what have you two done to start the process? Have either of you made an effort to sit down and talk and work through these issues? Because to me it looks like you two are just tiptoeing around each other, in love, but not a couple."

Gabby tenses at my words, I watch her defenses rise. "We've been a little busy raising a newborn, Kelly." She bites back.

I hold my hands up in defense. "I know. I know, but if what you are waiting for is 'the right time' you are never going to get it. There is no such thing as the perfect time and Jesse is just going to keep growing, your lives are not going to get any less busy. You have to just go after what you want and make that time for yourself." I tell her, hoping I had broken through her tough walls once again.

Gabby gets preoccupied once Jesse stops eating, lifting him up to burp before working to change his diaper, but I can see her mind racing as she does all of this. Once she has his diaper changed and has settled him down into his rocker to sleep, she comes to sit back down across from me.

"You're right." She says softly.

All of my alarm bells are telling me to gloat, this was not a comment I got often from the fiery brunette, but I hold my comment to myself, waiting for Dawson to continue.

"I know you are. I just... I'm scared honestly. I'm scared maybe we have done too much damage to us to ever get back what we had, and I am scared that if we get back together and it crashes and burns once more we will not be able to pick up the pieces the way we did this time. We are in a good place right now. Even if we are not together, we are happy. What if we ruin what we have now?"

I move from the chair to sit beside Dawson, letting her lean her head against my shoulder as I give her a comforting squeeze. "What if you don't?" I counter. "What if you get everything you both have always wanted from each other? What if Jesse gets to grow up with two parents who are together and in love? Isn't it worth the risk?"

We sit silently for a while, and I hear Matt moving around in the other room, I knew our conversation was likely to be interrupted soon.

A few minutes later I feel Gabby nod her head. "Thanks, Kel." She says softly.

I knew I had gotten through to her. I hoped she would take my advice and talk to Matt.

What they had was too special to let slip away.

I shake my head at the thought that comes to me, Shay would kick their asses if she was here to witness this.

Well, there is another one. I love writing Dawson and Severide content. I feel like we were deprived of what could have been some really awesome content between the two when they all lived at the Dawsey apartment in season 3, so I really enjoy getting to have them so close and comfortable around each other in this story. Aside from Dawsey themselves, Dawson/Severide is probably my favorite to write.

For those that have asked, I am working on an update for You'll Get It And Be Gone, it is coming. As well as the new story I mentioned a while ago, I am wanting to get pretty ahead on that one before I post it, but it will grace you with its presence soon, lol. As always, I appreciate those that have shown so much interest in my work, it means so much to me.

Thanks for reading and I hope you'll review and let me know what you think.