Chapter 11: Cool Kids, Cold Case – Part 8: Truth

Machaira walked Adaine home the next day, which helped fortify the high elf against the tirade waiting for her. Adaine had hell to pay for what she and Machaira did to Aelwyn. Her parents were enraged, or rather coldly dissatisfied, with her yet again. Adaine pointed out that, while what Machaira did was awesome (earning her a rebuke from her mother and a death glare from Aelwyn), Adaine hadn't told Machaira to walk over her sister's car. That had been the tabaxi's own amazing, spontaneous decision. As for Adaine's Web spell, her sister could have used Dispel Magic to free herself before running her car into the parking meter instead of after. A quick Mend spell had fixed the damage to the car, so there were no lasting consequences. To Aelwyn's fury, Adaine scored a point there – one point compared to her sister's hundred, but Adaine would take what she could get.

However, her parents did subject her to a lengthy lecture explaining the many ways she was a failure. Adaine got to go back over all the old classics like why can't you get along with your sister, your behavior reflects poorly on the rest of us, what has gotten into you, and, the most popular tune in the Abernant household, I'm very disappointed in you. Adaine had heard it all before and was simply waiting for it to be over until her mother referred to her in passing as a delinquent. That stung more than she cared to admit. She knew her parents thought poorly of her, but she hadn't expected to have sunk quite so low in their eyes.

But she didn't have a panic attack. Before her family had quite finished deconstructing her, just when Adaine's resolve was cracking, her crystal vibrated. The wizard knew it was Machaira checking up on her. So, after Adaine had been sent to her room, she called the rogue.

"Hey," Machaira's soft answer greeted her on the second ring. Adaine could hear a fire crackling in the background. "How much flak did the assholes give you?" The high elf smiled even as she related her most recent dressing down. Machaira let her rant uninterrupted, offering a consolation when Adaine paused for breath so that she knew her friend was listening. The muffled tread of boots on packed earth and the faint echo of birdsong helped calm her racing blood pressure. Machaira rarely had anything new to say, but Adaine didn't want practical advice. She just wanted someone to take note of her sense of isolation and inferiority and show a little empathy. She wanted someone to be her friend, and she had found that someone in the tabaxi.

Machaira was a good listener. She remembered the details of Adaine's tirades, and, though she always had mud to fling at the elf's family, kept the focus of the conversation on Adaine and her emotional state. The wizard's indignation was tempered by Machaira's patience and acceptance, slowly easing her from frustration to peace. When, after an hour had passed, the rogue's voice was distorted by the familiar rustling of a great many blankets, Adaine was struck by a pang of longing. Adaine always craved the scout's influence most during these conversations, when it felt like Machaira was the only person in the world who cared about her. She had just spent all of yesterday with Machaira, even slept with her, but she wanted to be with her again. Adaine wanted to attach a picture to the sounds she had come to associate with Machaira's home. The wizard imagined a small, warm space filled with blankets and dusted in fur as the tabaxi's clothes tended to be, a place far away from her shitty sister and demanding parents. She longed to cuddle up with Machaira in the place where the rogue was at once most vulnerable and powerful, where strange creatures sometimes shrieked or howled among the distant trees but would not dare approach Adaine because Machaira was with her. Machaira, who feared no monster in the Far Haven Woods but would shuffle and blush and blink shyly up at Adaine, embarrassed but thrilled just to be herself around the diviner.

For two days, Adaine suffered her family's off-handed insults and cool disrespect. Whenever they became too painful to endure, she would call or text Machaira. The rogue was always willing to talk, patient and supportive for as long as Adaine needed her. When Adaine was finally able to get back to her friends, it felt like stepping out of a walk-in freezer. When Machaira gave her a hug, she felt like she had found the sun. The last dregs of anxiety slipped from her shoulders, and Adaine basked in the warmth that was Machaira. As the day wore on, Adaine would look over at the tabaxi from time to time, amazed at how such a small thing as having someone to vent to made her life so much easier to bear.

Whatever her own indecision, Adaine knew Machaira would always be there for her. The tabaxi's love was obvious, and though Adaine hadn't expected her friend's feelings to be romantic, she loved that Machaira loved her.

Machaira was a predator. Adaine knew and accepted this, but Sklonda hadn't yet. The goblin mother kept trying to convince Machaira to stay the night, if not with her than with someone else. Machaira liked Sklonda and appreciated her permission to use the laundry machine, so Sklonda could usually persuade her. But the tabaxi was in a foul mood when denied prey for too long, growing restless and irritable. Moody Machaira wasn't exactly mean, but she didn't talk or joke or participate in activities much. She just kind of hung around the rest of the party, attention flying to the movements of small animals, eyes brightening at the possibility of a fight only to dull when the conflict was resolved. The rogue's appetite diminished, and her tail and whiskers drooped more. Even following her lengthy grooming regimen, Machaira's lustrous coat lost some of its sheen. She pulled away if people tried to touch her, fur bristling at the smallest physical contact. When Machaira couldn't hunt, something paced behind her eyes, yowling to be free. Adaine looked at her friend and saw only half of the beautiful tabaxi who had changed her life.

"You can't keep her here," Adaine told Sklonda in private one night. "I know it seems crazy, especially for a cop, but Machaira has to be out there. She needs to hunt."

"I understand that she hunted for food when she was homeless, but it's not safe." Sklonda argued. "A girl her age shouldn't be living on her own, no matter how natural it might feel. She needs to be around other people. Besides, we keep her pretty well-fed. You can just pull food out of your jacket whenever. And most tabaxi don't hunt."

"No, most tabaxi are thieves," Adaine countered. "And this is about so much more than food. I know it's hard to understand, but Machaira isn't like us. She had her own needs to be happy and healthy. I need peace and quiet, you need to know that Riz is okay, and Machaira needs to hunt."

"And what happens if she goes out hunting and has an accident in the woods, or some monster gets the drop on her?" Sklonda pressed. "I know you care about Machaira, but you have to acknowledge the risks. Adaine, can you really let Machaira keep living like this?"

"I trust her to come back." Adaine said simply. "She hasn't survived this long by being stupid. If shit hits the fan, she'll call for help or get herself to safety. Or, more likely, she won't put herself in a spot that she can't get out of. And if we don't let her go, we'll lose her for good." Sklonda took a deep breath through her nose and sighed.

"Well, you can't fight destiny," she muttered, studying Adaine. "You sure about this?" Adaine nodded. "Alright, I'll back off. But I hope you're right." Adaine assured the goblin she was. The next day, Adaine met up with the scout to find her in significantly better spirits but very high energy. Adaine knew without asking that she had been ranging but not found anything. The day after that, Machaira greeted Adaine with their normal hug before nuzzling the elf with the crown of her skull. She murmured an apology for being a bitch, which Adaine accepted without fuss. The tabaxi always brushed her teeth before she went anywhere, but Adaine could smell iron and salt underneath the mint of toothpaste.

Adaine dragged out the hug for a moment, stroking Machaira's mane. The rogue purred quietly, saber teeth tickling Adaine as she rubbed her muzzle along the wizard's shoulder. Birds had to fly, fish had to swim, and Machaira had to hunt to be whole. It was a part of her friend that Adaine didn't pretend to understand but had long accepted, even acknowledging the ethics behind her hunts. At the end of the day, Adaine wanted Machaira to be okay, and if that meant adjusting her own definition of normal, so be it.

Machaira was different from anyone Adaine had ever known. But whatever her animal tendencies, the person of Machaira was one of the best Adaine had had the joy to know.

Kristen wasn't allowed to pet Machaira. When the tabaxi fell asleep on Fig's carpet after a long Saturday of work, Fig slapped Kristen's hand as it tried to sneak its way into Machaira's mane.

"Nope," the bard denied.

"Oh, come one," Kristen complained. "This is so unfair."

"You can pet Machaira when you stop making that thirsty duck face." The tiefling declared. "Until then, hands to yourself." The cleric muttered rebelliously and tried to sneak her fingers into the tabaxi's fur again only to be stopped again by Fabian.

"You are trying to touch a sleeping girl without her permission," the half-elf reminded her. "Like, no."

"Why does Adaine get to pet her then?" Kristen countered.

"Machaira always wants Adaine to pet her," Fig laughed.

"Adaine basically owns the rights to petting Machaira." Fabian summarized.

"Pretty much," Adaine agreed, rubbing the rogue's ear between her thumb and forefinger. Machaira's head shifted slightly, turning toward Adaine's hand. "You can pet her when you stop treating it like foreplay."

"I mean, isn't it though?" The cleric protested.

"No." They others said in emphatic harmony.

"Machaira told you it wasn't, but you still look at her and Adaine the way you do at Tracker's picture." Riz added, draping a blanket over the scout. "It's really creepy." Machaira twisted her head upside down in her sleep, exposing the underside of her throat to Adaine, who delicately scratched the new area with the tip of a finger. Kristen continued to grumble but backed off for the time being. She was the only one in the group who wasn't allowed to pet Machaira, a rule that had been made without consulting the tabaxi but was based off the unease Machaira sometimes displayed around the human. While the two girls usually got along, it was no secret that they were the least close out of all the pairs in the party.

Machaira had actually become fairly close to Fabian since the fight with Saraih Sootfang. Over the break, the rogue and fighter had sparred almost daily at Seacaster Manor for hours at a time. Bill Seacaster was quite fond of her, especially since Machaira brought him a wolf skull with images of him and Fabian carved into it, per his request the first time they visited the manor. From what Adaine understood, the two rarely talked about anything of substance, instead enjoying a quiet camaraderie as they accepted each other's ruthless tendencies. Fabian seldom showed open affection for the tabaxi, though Adaine did catch Machaira asleep with her head on Fabian's shoulder once. The boy had looked a little unsure of himself as he clumsily patted her head.

"I can't move," he had whispered to Adaine. "I don't want to wake her." Adaine had giggled but ultimately took mercy on him, rousing Machaira just enough for the tabaxi to recognize Adaine by scent. Machaira immediately left Fabian to curl up with the wizard, purring as she drifted back to sleep. Fig and Gorgug were more comfortable petting her, and both musicians sought her out for advice with personal dilemmas. Between shared classes and living spaces, Riz spent almost as much time one-on-one with the scout as Adaine did. Their good-natured banter was as likely as not to break out into a play-fight, though neither ever hurt the other. Riz was a little older than Machaira, but everyone made sure to call him 'The Little Brother Ball' when they squabbled, a title Sklonda never argued against but instead smiled at. Both rogues were also fiercely defensive of the other, and Riz had already shot someone in the back for trying to sneak up on Machaira, a horrifying event that had earned him extra credit.

But Adaine was Machaira's undisputed best friend. Adaine was Machaira's confidant for her smallest and largest concerns. The tabaxi gravitated toward her whenever they went to sit down or move somewhere else. If Adaine walked up to Machaira while she was focused on something else, the rogue wrapped her tail around Adaine's waist and gave the wizard her full attention the moment she could. While the others might pet Machaira, they never did so without looking to Adaine for permission, recognizing that she was the scout's bodyguard while Machaira was unresponsive. The acknowledgement that her relationship with Machaira was the strongest, that their bond was special and wroth respecting, always helped the wizard feel grounded. Machaira had been hurt time and time again, but she trusted Adaine completely. As the high elf stroked Machaira's silky pelt and listened to the barest breath of a purr slip out from between her lips, a surge of protectiveness came over her.

Machaira didn't think Adaine could ever love her, and the diviner still didn't have an answer for her. But she knew that she would support the rogue either way. Adaine wasn't going to let anyone hurt her again.

Adaine was Machaira's best friend. When everything else felt complicated and scary and confusing, this simple truth always remained, a rock for her to cling to in her darkest moments and the cornerstone of a new life she had begun to build among her party. In Machaira, Adaine had discovered a sense of belonging.

Adaine loved Solstice with the Thistlesprings. The house-tree was decked with strings of colored lights and little Helioic symbols. The Thistlesprings were thrilled to have them over, constantly gushing over Gorgug as they celebrated their adopted son's friendships. The party had decided to go for a 'white mammoth' arrangement instead of having everyone buy a gift for everyone else. Adaine got lucky with a bottle of perfume from Kristen, but not everyone was so fortunate. Machaira nearly doubled over laughing when she unwrapped the present she had selected, a sweater and knee-high socks from Fig. The tiefling wanted to make sure that Gorgug would be able to wear them if he picked her gift, but the clothes were far too big for Machaira's tiny frame. For her part, Machaira had bought a simple watch for her white mammoth gift but pulled Adaine aside toward the end of the party and handed her a little pouch.

"I know we weren't supposed to get gifts for everyone, but I wanted to, I don't know, just, do something, something special for you," she stammered, white cheeks glowing red. "Since you're, like, my best friend." Machaira's fur fluffed slightly, ears and whiskers going back. The pouch she gave Adaine was a soft piece of leather tied with a leather drawstring. Adaine pulled it open and emptied a little necklace into her palm. The necklace strap was also leather, and a pointed tooth hung where a pendant normally would. The tooth had been bound to the leather by a curling strand of copper wire and intricately carved with images of Adaine. One side displayed the wizard casting Witch Bolt at some unseen foe, expression fearful but determined, stance strong in the face of danger. The other was a simple picture of Adaine writing in her wizard's book at the library and smiling across the table. The detail on the scrimshaws was incredible, shaded so that the tiny images had phenomenal depth. The high elf could see the affection in the eyes of her tiny portrait and knew that this was what the tabaxi saw when she looked at her.

"I know you don't wear a lot of jewelry, and this isn't really your style," Machaira murmured, tail wrapping around her ankle.

"No, I like it," Adaine protested. "I do. It's lovely." She swept on over Machaira's skeptical protests. "It's beautiful, thank you." Machaira ducked her head and mumbled a bit more about how she'd understand if Adaine didn't like it. The wizard rolled her eyes, told Machaira to just take the compliment, and put on the necklace. Machaira's shyness evaporated, and she beamed at Adaine, tail waving over her head like a celebratory banner. The high elf smiled and hugged her.

"You did a great job." She promised the rogue. "It's lovely, thank you." Adaine's praise was not an empty platitude. Aside from the quality craftsmanship, the little gift clearly had a lot of love put into it. Such a carving would have taken days, possibly weeks to make. It wasn't expensive or flashy, but the necklace screamed Machaira. At the surface, a carved tooth on a string was a simple, almost barbaric present. But Machaira had wanted to give Adaine something special, and she had poured hours of time into making something beautiful the only way she knew how.

As the girls laughed and joked with the party for the remainder of the Solstice, they hardly spoke to one another. But when Adaine carefully wrapped and hid the necklace in her sock drawer that night so her family wouldn't take it away, she smirked and rubbed the tooth between her fingers. The little ornament left her with no thoughts, just warm feelings.

Whatever doubts she had about herself, Machaira made sure Adaine knew that she thought the wizard was special. And the more she was with Machaira, the more Adaine began to believe it herself.

Adaine didn't plan on wearing her necklace much since, as Machaira mentioned, she didn't wear jewelry in general. But she did wear it for the New Year party at Strongtower. Sklonda had to work over the holiday, which Riz said was an unfortunately common occurrence, so the party would be held at Fig's place. Adaine's family only celebrated the elven New Year, but they did like to invite their high elf friends over on the Solace New Year so they could sneer at the other races together. Adaine slipped away a few hours early so that she wouldn't get wrapped up with her family.

"Hi, Adaine," Fig greeted her. "You're super early."

"I know; I'm sorry. I didn't want to get roped into this dumb thing my family was doing tonight." The high elf apologized, but Fig was already waving her inside.

"Hey, you know what, fuck 'em," she told the wizard. "We're happy to have you. Come on, grab a drink." The bard pushed a hot chocolate into her hands, no doubt spiked as her Solstice batch had been, and led her over to the living room. Kristen and Riz were already present and playing a board game, grinning as Adaine approached.

"Hi, Adaine," Kristen said, smiling a little too widely to be totally sober. "Now we just need Fabian and Riz, and we'll have the full party to party. Hicc!" Kristen hiccupped, laughed, and took another gulp of hot chocolate. Adaine decided to drink hers more slowly.

"So, is Machaira already here then?" She deduced.

"Yeah, she's at my place cooking dinner for tonight," Riz informed Adaine. "Yeah, I didn't see it coming either." He continued, correctly interpreting Adaine's surprised stare. "She's using, like, pots and everything. She called my mom and asked if she or Gilear had anything planned for dinner. My mom is at work, and Gilear just can't cook, so she offered to make dinner for us tonight."

"Oh, what's she making?" Adaine asked.

"I don't know, but it smells good," Riz said. "I got kicked out for trying to eat her ingredients, but you should be fine to go over and take a look if you want." Adaine was already heading toward the door.

"Oh, yeah, I have to see this," she declared. Adaine couldn't remember Machaira ever talking about cooking. She knew the tabaxi smoked her own jerky and assumed she roasted meat over a fire, but actually cooking in a kitchen was a whole different thing. Adaine knew Fabian, Fig, Riz, and Gorgug, like herself, had no idea how to cook. Kristen could bake cornbread and other corn-related dishes but nothing else. She wondered where Machaira had learned. The Gukgak's apartment was unlocked, and at first glance Adaine couldn't see Machaira. But she could see the mess of pans, chopped refuse, and cookware scattered about the kitchen. The oven was on, and the delicious smell of cooking meat drifted about the room. A faint rustling came from deeper in the apartment, and Adaine looked over just as the bathroom light flicked off.

"Hey, you're early," Machaira greeted easily, smiling as she stepped out and approached Adaine, tail waving above her head. "Sorry, the place is kind of a mess. I was just about to start cleaning up." Adaine stared mutely, trying to process the tabaxi's appearance. Because Machaira was not wearing her jacket, nor was she wearing her vest, boots, or pants that Adaine could see. Machaira had donned Fig's oversized Solstice sweater, rolling up the sleeves a half dozen times so that her hands and the first half of her scarred forearms were visible. The sweater hung to about three-quarters of the way down her thighs, swishing around her legs like a loose dress. The neckline had fallen off one shoulder, revealing a tantalizing peek of a delicate collarbone and the top of a muscular bicep. As she moved, the sweater shifted about her shoulders as if it was about to fall off, flashing little glimpses of sleek fur without showing anything of consequence. Machaira was also wearing the giant socks, which rode up past her knees but didn't quite reach the hem of the sweater, leaving a thin line of thigh visible.

"Uh, hey," Adaine managed. "You, uh, look good in that sweater. Really, um, festive. Happy New Years, Machaira." Talking was hard for some reason. Her brain didn't want to focus on anything other than Machaira's exposed shoulder. The rogue smiled and hugged her with a tiny purr. Adaine hugged her back on instinct, trying to wrap her head around the creature before her. The sweater was so loose it rode up her body as they hugged, bunching about Machaira's stomach. The sweater was a soft, fuzzy, somewhat loose weave that made the tabaxi extremely huggable, even more so than normal. Machaira twisted her head to lie her cheek and muzzle across Adaine's shoulder, curling peacefully against her chest. Adaine was able to confirm from touch that, no, Machaira was not wearing anything else under the sweater. While certainly fluffy, the sweater wasn't particularly thick, and Adaine could feel the soft curves and hard planes of muscle beneath the fabric. While these were neither new sensations nor as easily detectable as they had been the first time Machaira took off her jacket, something about Machaira's attire was… enticing. The scout wrapped her tail around Adaine's back for a moment before pulling away. A part of Adaine didn't want to let her go.

"Thanks, it's a little big, and I had to make a hole for my tail, but I like it a lot." Machaira turned around and waved her tail back and forth for demonstration. She had cut a hole in the back of the sweater and resewn the edges to prevent unraveling. The hole was a bit of a tight fit for her tail, pressing her fur flat at the base and making the rest of her tail seem even fluffier. Machaira had also cut the hole a little low on the sweater, causing it to ride up a bit in the back and expose more of her thighs. Adaine noticed that the strands of her fur became shorter and finerr as they neared her hips. The wizard's brain found something besides her shoulder to focus on.

"Nice," Adaine said vacantly, straining to remember what they were talking about.

"Yeah, I'd never wear it out and about, but it's good to wear when everything else is in the wash," Machaira continued, placing a bowl in the sink. "Speaking of which, my clothes should be dry any minute now. I should go down to the laundry room and pick them up."

"No!" Adaine interrupted louder than she meant to, startling the tabaxi. "I mean, um, no, I'll go do that for you. You, uh, have your hands full here."

"Oh, thank you, Adaine," Machaira told her. The rogue picked up a laundry basket from the bathroom door and passed it to Adaine with a grateful smile. She flicked her tail against Adaine's legs, a gesture Machaira had done a thousand times before but this time sent Adaine's heart pounding. The wizard murmured something even she couldn't decipher and stumbled out of the apartment. Strongtower Luxury Apartments, despite its seedy location, was not a dangerous building, and Machaira was more than capable of fending for herself. But the idea that Machaira would go all the way down to the laundry room on the ground floor dressed like – No. Something inside her seethed and snarled at the thought of Strongtower's residents seeing her tabaxi like that.

Adaine stood straight with the basket of warm, clean laundry and took a deep breath. Where was this coming from? She needed to get this laundry upstairs and calm down a little. The first part was easy, but when Adaine opened the door and saw Machaira bent over to take a tray out of the oven, her heartbeat almost doubled. The sweater rode up her legs so that it almost reveled the bottom of her butt. Adaine momentarily froze, eyes glued to the fine, smooth down of fur that sleeked her legs just beneath the hem of the sweater. Even through the sweater, Adaine was reminded that Machaira had a great ass.

Machaira stood, and the moment ended. The rogue placed the tray atop a rubber pad on the kitchen table and closed the oven door behind her with her foot. Adaine noticed that she had left some space between the toe of the sock and her actual toes so that a loose bit of fabric flopped about at the end of her foot. It occurred to Adaine that the others might come over and see Machaira like this. The wizard was jolted forward, quickly pulling the door shut behind her. The same small part of her that hadn't wanted to let go of Machaira whispered that she should lock it as well, but Adaine refrained.

"Thank you," Machaira said, just noticing her return. "You can just put the basket by the bathroom. I'll take care of it in a bit." Adaine nodded and did as she asked, bumping her hip into the table as she did so. "Are you okay?" The rogue asked. Adaine nodded. "Your face is really red. Looks like the cold wind got to you a little." Machaira walked over to Adaine, once more taunting the high elf with that exposed shoulder. She gently cupped Adaine's cheek, face creased with concern. "Wow, no, you're burning up. I didn't know elves could get fevers."

"No, uh, I think it's Fig's hot chocolate." Adaine forced herself to speak. "She, um, spiked it." Machaira turned toward Adaine's half-forgotten cup on the table and parted her jaws, tasting the air. Glistening fangs peeked out for but a few seconds before falling out of view again.

"Hmm, that'll do it," she decided. "Here, let me get you some water." Machaira turned back to the kitchen. Adaine was confronted with her scarred head and shredded ears. The traitorous sweater revealed a white slash cresting her shoulder. The wizard wanted to touch it. Machaira placed a water glass next to Adaine's hot chocolate. "Just sip on that. We'll be ready to eat soon, and that'll help with Fig's 'spicy' hot chocolate." Adaine nodded and murmured an affirmative, gulping the full glass of water and her hot chocolate to boot. "Thirsty?" Machaira teased, loading a metal tray into the dishwasher. Adaine tried not to think about the word's double meaning as her gaze swept over the scout's figure.

Adaine found herself edging closer to Machaira as she continued to clean the kitchen. The rogue seemed to be waiting for one last thing to come out of the oven before her meal was done, though Adaine couldn't say for sure. A small pot of mushrooms simmered in a dark sauce. Bits of greenery waited in tiny bowls. A dish of soft-boiled vegetables sat to the side, and a round chunk of meat the size of Adaine's torso lay steaming on a serving tray in a pool of its own juices, browned but not burned. Adaine wasn't sure what the dish was, but it filled the air with a delicious, savory odor. Machaira busied herself tidying up, preparing the space for dinner. Adaine reached out and stroked her head, fingers tracing the ursine's claw marks. Machaira stalled, eyes fluttering shut, and leaned to her left until she could rest her head on Adaine's chest. The tabaxi nuzzled her and loosed a soft purr that dulled the elf's senses to everything but her immediate surroundings.

"Mmmm, I still have work to do," Machaira hummed, wrapping her tail around Adaine's ankle anyway. The elf had no desire to move but gave the scout a final scratch and removed her hand anyway. Machaira pulled back, tail lingering about the wizard's legs, and drew a knife out of seemingly nowhere. She cut a piece of meat off the top of the roast and held it up to Adaine between her claws. "Here, tell me what you think." Adaine took the morsel from her, drawn to the scout's golden eyes. The meat was gamey but tender. She didn't know what it was, but she liked it.

"It's good," she told the rogue. Machaira's rusty purr was barely audible. She began slicing the roast into strips, tails curling above her. The tabaxi's simple contentment was a pretty good indicator that she'd been hunting last night, and whatever she had caught was going to be their main course. "So, what are we eating?"

"Hippogriff," she growled with satisfaction. "This bastard has been taking food from my camp for months. I've been hunting him since the night before we went to the Black Pit, and I finally brought him down last night." Adaine remembered hearing a screech over the crystal that night when she cost Machaira her dinner, but the rogue clearly held no resentment toward her for that misfortune. Seeing the predator come out a bit helped clear Adaine's head. She realized that part of what was so jarring about Machaira's current appearance was that she seemed so… domestic.

Machaira was a fierce warrior, but for the moment she seemed content to cook and clean. This new aspect of the scout that wasn't exactly out of place, just new and different. Adaine knew that once the satisfaction of her hunt wore off, Machaira would be back to normal. She wondered if Machaira would have offered to cook dinner without that previous high of a successful hunt? Adaine enjoyed Machaira's more cuddly emotions, but she knew that the rogue was a predator at heart, unsatisfied without a challenge and sufficient prey to sate her feline instincts. Yet here stood Machaira in a sweater, cooking her kill for a party and completely at ease with Adaine seeing her so vulnerable. Whatever circumstances had conspired to bring this about, Adaine was more intrigued by a placid, sweater-clad Machaira than she cared to admit.

"Time for the finishing touch." Machaira snapped Adaine out of her musings as she pulled a femur out of the oven. The tabaxi set the tray down, turned off the oven, and sniffed along the length of the bone before nodding. Apparently, the oven had just been there to keep the bone warm because she discarded her oven mitts to hold the femur with her bare hands. Machaira gripped the top of the femur with the side of her jaws and bit down. After a moment the bone cracked, and with a twist of her head the rogue tore away the bulbous femur joint. Adaine hadn't seen her friend do something like this since Kristen humiliated her in the cafeteria. She felt weirdly privileged that Machaira felt so at ease around her. The little voice that wanted to keep the others from seeing Machaira like this started to whisper again.

Adaine waited until the tabaxi had finished crunching down the ossified shards to pet her mane. Machaira never wanted to be touched while she was eating, something about a blink dog attack when she was younger. The tabaxi's satisfied growls mellowed into a fluttering purr, jaws that could remove Adaine's arm peacefully rubbing against her shoulder. Machaira poured the bone's marrow into the mushroom sauce and stirred, movements a little uncoordinated. Adaine took a step back, and the rogue mewed plaintively before refocusing on her work. After emptying the femur of the last dregs of marrow, she poured the fatty mushroom sauce over the sliced hippogriff haunch to mingle with the previous pool of juices. A wonderful aroma filled the room, and Machaira sighed with satisfaction.

"How did you learn how to do this?" Adaine asked.

"I've been cooking since I ran away from my parents," she responded, scattering bits of herbs and other plants Adaine couldn't name over the hippogriff. She never referred to her birthplace as home. "But this is maybe my third time cooking in a real kitchen instead of over an open fire." Machaira washed and dried her dagger, sliding the blade under the back of her sweater and out of sight.

"Did you just stick that knife up your ass?" Adaine teased. Machaira smirked, turned to the side, gripped the hem of her sweater in one hand, and used the other hand to pull up a thin slit of fabric, revealing a slice of thigh up to her hip. She then tugged a black leather strap down into view with her thumb. Adaine's brain stopped working entirely.

"I always keep a dagger on hand," she informed the elf. "Especially when I'm cooking. So much handier than a kitchen knife." She pushed the familiar strap for her dagger sheath back onto her waist and out of sight before pulling her sweater back down. Adaine heard her words, but they didn't register for a solid twenty seconds. She was too busy thinking about the implications of what she had just seen. Adaine was now fairly certain that Machaira was only wearing her dagger under that sweater. For reasons her mind couldn't fully process, she very much wanted the rogue to bend over again. "Fabian and Gorgug should be at Fig's soon. I just have to clean up and get dressed, and we can eat."

"Let me pick up here," Adaine offered. "You can, um, go get dressed." At some level, Adaine would prefer to have sweater-Machaira all to herself for the rest of the day, but she needed to clear her head, and that wasn't going to happen while the rogue was still this fuzzy, cuddly kitten.

"Oh, thanks," Machaira accepted her offer easily. "I won't take long." She walked over to the laundry basket. Try as she might, Adaine couldn't resist watching the rogue's every step. The wizard forced herself to turn away when Machaira bent over to collect her clothes; but as the scout passed by on her way to the bathroom, Adaine did notice that she was holding a pair of small black panties. Adaine stared into the sink and took a few deep breaths. That was information that shouldn't matter. It didn't matter. There was no reason for her to feel flushed or for her sudden urge to fix her hair. Machaira was just her friend. Her friend who had a secret crush on her that Adaine now knew about. But Machaira was never going to act on it, so the fact that they had been in the same room while Machaira was barely dressed shouldn't be an issue. It wasn't an issue. She didn't need to keep thinking about it. It was just Fig's hot chocolate that made her feel so hot and breathless. Right.

Forcing Machaira to the back of her brain, Adaine was confronted with a new problem: she had never washed a dish in her life and had only a vague idea of how it worked. Fortunately, Machaira returned from the bathroom before Adaine could make too much of a fool out of herself. Even though she was back in her normal tattered jeans and wyvern scale jacket, the rogue still seemed cuddly to Adaine. The image of Machaira draped in that gigantic sweater was branded into her memory. But the normal attire helped drag Adaine's brain to almost full capacity, and the wizard was able to talk and joke with her friend as they usually did. Machaira cleaned the last of her mess in a matter of minutes, and Adaine helped her carry the food to Fig's place for dinner.

Machaira didn't tell the others what they were eating, but everyone enjoyed it, so Adaine saw no reason to say anything. The party fell about their normal chicanery and teasing for the next few hours until they got ready to count down for midnight. Kristen wanted one of the girls to give her a New Year's kiss. Fig agreed on the condition Kristen didn't get weird about it later and teased Riz and Fabian to do the same. Fabian backed away from Riz with the loud and verbose refusals typical of an insecure straight boy while Riz just snickered. Everyone had yet another laugh at their expense; but as midnight drew ever closer, Adaine couldn't help a small needle of sadness. She'd yet to have her first kiss, and Kristen was about to have her second or third. Gods only knew what number Fig was on. Gorgug at least had someone in mind who he might have been able to kiss come midnight; she didn't even have a potential candidate.

"Hey," Machaira broke into her reverie, sitting next to the high elf on the couch. "You looked kind of deep in thought there. Anything you want to talk about?" The rogue's voice was soft and unthreatening, her gaze supportive. In truth, Adaine didn't want to talk about it, but she found herself opening up anyway.

"It's stupid," she mumbled. Machaira sat a touch straighter and scooter closer. "I just, I haven't had my first kiss yet, and… I don't know. I wish I had. It feels important. I know the New Year's kiss is just a dumb tradition, but I don't, there's no one who, well… it's dumb." She glanced over at Machaira to see a trace of disappointment slip from the tabaxi's face, swept away by sympathy.

"You first kiss should be important," Machaira told her gently. "Your first kiss should be with someone who cares about you and who you care about in turn. It should be special because that person is special to you. But that's not something you need to rush. Adaine, you are an incredible person. Your first kiss should be with someone who recognizes that, someone you want to keep close to you. There will be other New Years to kiss someone on, but you only get one first kiss. Even so, your first kiss will be the first of many. If it isn't everything you thought it would be, you'll have more to look forward to."

Adaine stared into those golden eyes, soft with concern and undercut with grief. Machaira never could hide how she felt. The tabaxi squeezed her hand, and Adaine relaxed at the familiar scarred grip. Adaine still wasn't sure if she loved Machaira, but Machaira loved her. Of that she was sure. As everyone counted down from ten, shouts echoing throughout Strongtower, Adaine moistened her lips. She could have her first kiss here and now with someone who truly cared about her. The high elf recalled the image of Machaira in nothing but a sweater, willingly vulnerable and affectionate before Adaine. She began to lean forward. Machaira noticed her move, and the sorrow in her eyes intensified. Adaine hesitated.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Their party bellowed.

"Happy New Year," Adaine whispered, heart beating out of control. Fig and Kristen crashed their mouths together for a solid ten seconds, but Machaira neither moved nor broke eye contact.

"Dr. Asha is better," Fig announced as the girls broke apart, much to the pained hilarity of the party. Adaine's attention was briefly stolen by the rascally tiefling, and she almost missed Machaira's move. The scout leaned forward and kissed Adaine's cheek, just shy of her mouth. For a moment, Adaine could feel the impossibly gentle touch of Machaira's lips, softer than she expected. Machaira pulled away, gaze heavy with sadness. But she met Adaine's eyes and smiled more tenderly than her mother ever had, gently squeezing the wizard's hand again.

"Your first kiss should be one you give with confidence, not just because you can," she quietly corrected the wizard. Adaine realized too late how much this must hurt for Machaira. The rogue made a visible effort to put her pain aside, and the affection that replaced it was genuine. "Happy New Year, Adaine." She gave Adaine a hug and stood to rejoin the rest of the party. As the diviner watched her go, she realized that, put in the same position, she might not have made the same decision as Machaira. But, later, as Adaine lay alone in her room, she realized that was why she felt safe around Machaira: the tabaxi never treated her with anything less than love and respect.

Adaine could always trust Machaira, no matter how insecure she felt, because Machaira would always put Adaine's well-being first, even if it hurt her to do so.

The winter break was beginning to draw to a close, and the party was planning a final movie night to celebrate before school started. So Adaine was a little surprised when Machaira asked her to hangout the day before the big event. She was even more surprised to when Machaira picked her up with a Lyft and brought her to the zoo. Their admission tickets together cost a whopping twenty gold, which the tabaxi paid herself. Machaira admitted that she had wanted to come to the zoo for a while and had been shoveling snow over the holidays to pay for this outing. Adaine told her that it wasn't necessary for the rogue to pay for her.

"I wanted to do something special for you," she replied simply. Adaine smiled and acquiesced, more than willing to follow Machaira's lead. Elmville's zoo wasn't world class, but it was still pretty big. The weather was cold but sunny. Adaine had donned a scarf and gloves in addition to her jacket, and Machaira assured her that she'd thrown on an extra layer under her wyvern scales. The girls spent a lovely day walking and chatting as they wandered from exhibit to exhibit.

Adaine was surprised again to find that Machaira knew quite a bit about animals from her time in the outlands. She could tell the wizard what a plesiosaur's favorite food was, how a mammoth herd defended itself from frost giants, and why dire wolves were aggressive toward humanoids but timber wolves were not. The tabaxi was a little shy about sharing, and Adaine had to ask an initial question to get the ball rolling. After a little while Machaira lost some of her nervousness and shared freely, though she clammed up quickly if she thought Adaine was growing bored or irate. At one point a zookeeper overheard Machaira talking and stepped up to extrapolate on something she had said. The keeper was very polite, and his knowledge was much more technical than Machaira's. But Adaine found that she was more interested in what her friend had to say and encouraged Machaira to talk to her about the next exhibit once he had left.

To Adaine's amusement, Machaira's favorite animals were the cats. The rogue's eyes lit up when they came upon their enclosures, and she jogged a little way ahead of Adaine to see the tigers. Adaine practically had to drag her away from the sabretooth exhibit, and they spent almost ten minutes by the jaguars as Machaira gushed over them. The scout also had a healthy respect for the wolves, bears, otters, and most of the other carnivores as well. The one exception seemed to be the lions, which Machaira almost completely dismissed.

"They're dicks," she said simply.

"Can you understand them?" Adaine asked. "I'm sorry if that's, like, a rude question."

"No, you're fine," Machaira assured her. "Wild cats don't have a language the way we do. But they do have a lot of body language in common with tabaxi, so I kinda know how they're feeling, if that makes sense." Adaine nodded and didn't pry any further. Machaira kept asking her where she wanted to go, but the wizard preferred to let Machaira make their decisions. She enjoyed the mild exercise and fresh air for a change. She enjoyed Machaira's company even more. The rogue had poured a lot of planning into this day and clearly wanted Adaine to have a good time. She even had a little money saved for the expensive zoo lunch.

Adaine toyed with the idea that this was Machaira's way of trying to take Adaine on a date, but Machaira was working overtime to dissuade that notion. The tabaxi shied away from any physical contact. She wouldn't even hold Adaine's hand which, while very disappointing, did establish that she was not secretly trying to ask Adaine out. The high elf wished Machaira would at least wrap her tail around Adaine's waist, but she understood where her friend was coming from. Machaira was trying to make sure today went perfectly for her, and she was scared Adaine might get creeped out if it looked like a date.

But the simple joy that shone in Machaira's eyes was a treat on its own, and Adaine hadn't had this much fun in ages. The zoo was quiet and clean enough for her taste while Machaira could be outside and surrounded by something she actually understood. The tabaxi had an extra spring in her step as she eagerly looked ahead to the next enclosure, tail almost permanently waving above her head. Adaine smiled, infected by her friend's childlike excitement. She could forgo their casual touches for a few hours if this was the reward. Seeing Machaira so happy filled her with warmth, and Adaine was content to simply walk with her and look at the animals. Or at least, she would have been but for one detail.

People kept heckling Machaira. Some people just glanced uneasily at her while others shot glares and whispered behind their hands. More than a few passersby commented that the tabaxi belonged in an exhibit, too. A little dwarf boy asked Machaira how she got out of her cage. The rogue very gently explained that she wasn't a zoo animal before Adaine could start yelling at a child. The boy's mother grabbed her son's arm and dragged him away, glaring at Machaira without apologizing. When Machaira explained to Adaine how dire wolf hunting strategies differed from those of big cats, a human couple with Helioic necklaces loudly commented that she probably knew this because she ate people. The scout clearly heard them but refused to engage, remaining focused on Adaine.

Machaira's eyes dimmed a bit whenever someone spoke along these lines, but she did not react otherwise save to flick her ears or lower her tail. The scout maintained her smile and good humor throughout their visit, giving the wizard all of her attention. Machaira was determined to be positive and well-behaved for Adaine, and it melted Adaine's heart to see how hard she was trying. Adaine attempted to ignore the assholes in kind, but each new insult sent her blood boiling. As the day wore on, the comments became harder and harder to dismiss. The worst part was that as much as Machaira loved the cats, such remarks were boldest and most numerous there. At the leopard exhibit, a bunch of guys started jeering at her.

"Are you here looking for a date or a place to live?" One of the assholes called out. Machaira's smile flickered, and her tail twitched lower. Adaine started to turn around, and the rogue put a hand on her bicep without actually grabbing her.

"They're idiots," she reminded Adaine. "They just want me to react."

"If he was talking to me that way, you'd have stabbed him by now," Adaine objected.

"Absolutely," Machaira responded without hesitation. "But people leave you alone once they know you're not a soft target. There will always be assholes who treat me like an animal." The boys started making exaggerated meowing noises at Machaira, and the girl next to them laughed obnoxiously. Adaine tried to turn on them again, and again Machaira blocked her. "No amount of magical vomiting will stop everyone from being dicks to me."

"But some vomiting will stop these dicks right now," Adaine argued.

"As much as I love watching you hex people, they're not worth it," Machaira asserted. "After today, you can defend my honor as violently as you want, I promise." The scout tried for another smile. "Do you want to go to another exhibit?"

"You know, I think the leopard is probably smarter," one of the boys hollered. "At least it doesn't pretend that it's a person." Machaira's gaze dulled, and Adaine turned, magic coursing through her body.

"Wait," Machaira begged. "Adaine, it's fine, really. I came here to have fun with you, and I am. Come on, I heard they have a giant saltwater crocodile in the reptile house, and I've always wanted to see one. I even have a little gold left for a stuffed animal from the gift shop." The scout's fur started to bristle, and she made a visible effort to flatten it. Machaira's eyes were wide and pleading, hand outstretched towards Adaine but not quite touching her. She had probably spent weeks saving up for this day, and she just wanted to have a nice time with Adaine. The wizard sighed and threw a glare at the boys before turning back to follow Machaira toward the reptile house in the distance. Machaira's golden gaze gleamed a shade brighter, tail and ears rising. Adaine's ire weakened, and she smiled at the excited tabaxi.

"Lesbian temper, you know," one of the assholes commented loudly behind them. "Though, when that tabaxi is in heat, she'll probably come back here to copulate with more than just the leopards." Ugly laughter washed over them. Machaira flinched, instinctively tucking her fangs under the collar of her jacket. Something inside Adaine cracked at that, and her vision went red.

Wizards rarely benefitted from surprise in combat, but Adaine fired Ray of Sickness so fast even Machaira didn't see it coming. The first guy dropped to his knees, vomiting with such force that chunks of bile sprayed off the ground around him. The second boy jumped back, and for the first time Adaine noticed that they were all high elves wearing Hudol sweatshirts. She even recognized one of them as a student in the year above them. The knowledge served only to further fuel her fire. Adaine had never cast Witch Bolt as a third level spell before, nor could she remember casting a critical damage spell, but she thoroughly enjoyed the combination. Hudol boy number two dropped before he could cry out, face blackened with soot and smoking from electrical burns. The girl took a step back and tried to run, but Adaine held out her hand and bent reality to her will. The girl's leg twisted over nothing as fate served the diviner's commands, and she fell with a scream. Her ankle was definitely sprained, possibly broken. Good. Adaine bore down on her, chains of destiny snaking into existence alongside her. The wizard began to chant a Burning Hands spell, rage helping her channel the destructive magic.

"Adaine, wait," Machaira called out behind her. Adaine turned to see Machaira's eyes wide with dismay, hand outstretched toward the diviner. Machaira's expression stayed Adaine's wrath long enough for zoo security to arrive and hold them both at arquebus point. All five teens were taken to a tiny holding cell for more than an hour and a half. Even though Adaine did all the damage, the overweight security guard frisked Machaira much more thoroughly, making the wizard positively venomous. When the administration found out that Adaine and Machaira were students at Aguefort, they were quick to release the girls on the condition that they leave the zoo immediately. Reading between the lines, it wasn't hard to see that they were not welcome to come back.

Machaira hardly said a word after Adaine attacked the Hudol students. After they were escorted from the zoo she turned and walked mutely toward the neighboring park. Adaine followed uncertainly. Machaira was clearly upset, but she didn't try to outwalk Adaine. Eventually the tabaxi found a tree and lay down on her stomach in its shade, legs drawn under her body and chin between her hands. Adaine hesitantly sat down beside her. Machaira stared ahead at nothing and did not acknowledge her presence. The elf's chest tightened.

"I'm sorry," Adaine whispered. "I, I just, you had this whole day planned out, and it was wonderful, and I… I fucked up. I'm sorry, I, I am so sorry. I just, I couldn't stand what they were saying about you, and I know I ruined everything. I am so, so sorry, I just, I, I – "

"It's okay," Machaira cut Adaine off before she could work herself into a panic. "It's okay."

"No, it isn't," Adaine insisted. "You set up this whole plan, and I ruined it." Machaira sighed and sat up, meeting Adaine's eyes tiredly.

"My plan was to hang out with you," she said quietly. "And I got to spend all day with my best friend. Goals achieved."

"Don't pretend that I didn't fuck up," Adaine protested. "You worked really hard to do something nice for me, and I got us kicked out of the zoo."

"Yes," the rogue admitted. "But you got us kicked out because you were trying to stand up for me. You're the only person who stands up for me. How can I be mad at you for that?" Machaira gave her a small smile. She was clearly still disappointed but didn't want Adaine to be upset, and that just made the high elf feel worse.

"I'm sorry," she repeated. "I just hate the way those people treated you. I, I, I was so angry, and I – I should have listened to you. How do you put up with all of that?"

"People will always treat me like a beast, and it hurts," Machaira replied. "Especially since, in some ways, I am a beast. But I know whose opinions matter to me." Machaira's eyes took on a tender quality that both made Adaine want to hold her and afraid to touch her.

"I'm sorry," Adaine murmured again. Machaira reached out and took her hand gently.

"Apology accepted," she assured Adaine. "I really do appreciate you looking out for me like that. It, it means a lot. And you were pretty amazing back there. That spell work, terrifying, but, like, awesome terrifying." The tabaxi's smile was genuine, and Adaine felt her anxiety ease away, chest muscles relaxing. Adaine wanted to pet Machaira, but the rogue left enough distance between them to give her pause.

"So… what do you want to do?" The wizard asked instead. Machaira shrugged.

"I wanted to go to the zoo," she replied. Both girls winced. "No, I'm sorry, that was bitchy and uncalled for. I'm sorry. What I meant was that the zoo was kind of my whole plan. I didn't think of anything else for us to do. I just wanted to give you one really good day before school started, just the two of us. But spending time with you is the important part. I want to do whatever you want to do. No," she interrupted Adaine's dissent with a raised hand. "We already did my thing for the day, and that was all I had. I don't care what we do so long as you have fun." Adaine could see that Machaira would not budge. She grinned at her stubborn friend and stood, holding out a hand to help her up.

"I always have fun with you," she informed the scout. Machaira smiled and took her hand, and with that all was forgiven. Adaine took Machaira to get mediocre tacos from a new place that they'd talked about going to for a while. Afterward they went to an equally average movie that they would hardly remember a thing from a week later. They didn't cuddle or pet each other or even hold hands. But when the Lyft dropped them off near (not at, obviously) Adaine's house, the tabaxi gave her a long hug.

"Goodnight, Adaine," Machaira murmured. "This was a great day."

"It really was," the high elf whispered back, arms secure around Machaira's waist. Machaira rubbed her back in soft circles, and Adaine sighed noiselessly, burying her nose in Machaira's mane, at peace with the world if only for a moment.

Machaira wasn't petty. She knew how to let bygones be bygones. Adaine's family never let her forget a mistake, but Machaira always forgave Adaine. Machaira was every bit Adaine's friend even when things weren't perfect between them..

School had been in session for a week. Fabian and Gorgug were thrilled to be on the Owlbear Bloodrush team for reasons Adaine couldn't quite figure out. Since Gorthalax was their new coach, Fig had taken to spending quite a bit of time hanging around the field. Riz would come over to hang out with Fabian after practice, which meant that the Bloodrush bleachers was their new unofficial meeting place after school. Adaine wasn't thrilled about this development, but she still got to hang out with her party after school instead of going home. The wizard normally spent the time between sixth period and the end of Bloodrush practice hanging out with Machaira and occasionally Kristen or Fig.

Friday evening was an unofficial holiday among the party. Ostensibly, the plan was to go to Strongtower for a late-night movie and takeout. Kristen was out with Tracker but had promised to meet up with them later that night. The reality was that Fabian and Gorgug lingered to talk to Gorthalax, and Fig, anxious to be part of the sports stuff with her dad, started a rough game of full tackle tag under the pretense of training. Fig was nowhere near physically fit enough to go up against either boy, but she tried her best to run them down and slap them anyway. If she fell or got tackled too hard, the bard called on her dad to declare the move illegal. Gorthalax rarely acquiesced to her demands but clearly enjoyed seeing his daughter happy and active.

Riz and Machaira were quick to join the melee as well. Riz wasn't big enough to bring down the others, but he was quick enough to avoid being caught. The goblin also had a knack for tripping people at the perfect moment, much to Fabian's frustration. Machaira was also quite a bit smaller than everyone sans Riz, but she was athletic enough to attack them head on. The tabaxi chuffed and growled with cheerful abandon as she chased and wrestled the boys, deriving equal joy from her victories and defeats.

Adaine sat on the bleachers and watched the show. Part of her wanted to join in the fun, but she was even less athletic than Fig. The high elf had always been told to focus on developing her mind over her body, so she had spent little if any time playing such games as a child. Trying to join in now made her uncomfortable, especially since the others were all in better shape than she was. The wizard could have pretended that her friends were just being immature. A few months ago, she would have done just that. But Adaine was honest enough to admit that she was really too afraid of looking dumb or weak in front of her friends to join in. She felt especially lonely since Machaira had been in the gym for hours after school practicing to earn her Charger Feat, so Adaine had to spend the past few hours alone in the library. Everyone needed to earn 'feat credit' outside of normal class time for refining or excelling in a particular skill set during their first year at Aguefort. Adaine had already passed her Spell Sniper exam. She understood that Machaira had to practice to pass the Charger test, but she still missed the rogue's company.

Adaine watched as Fabian shoved Machaira's shoulder from behind and took off. The scout yowled and gave chase, running the fighter down and leaping onto his back. Machaira wrestled Fabian beneath her much as she had the werewolf in the Black Pit, though she kept her claws sheathed against the half-elf. The two writhed and grappled until Machaira was able to seize Fabian from behind with all four limbs. The tabaxi heaved herself back and forth, rolling to one side and whipping to the other, rattling Fabian. After a few seconds of this she kicked Fabian off and rolled away with a bark, tail snaking madly behind her. Adaine smirked and giggled. She rarely got to see Machaira both happy and high energy. Her friend had devolved into a giant, frisky kitten, and Adaine loved it.

Machaira stood straight and looked over at Adaine. She always refocused on the wizard if Adaine was crying or laughing. Machaira started to back away from the others and said something to Fabian. The fighter yelled something indistinct but indignant in return, and Machaira turned away, jogging up to Adaine.

"Hey, mind if I sit with you?" Machaira asked, sitting next to Adaine and one step lower so that she could lean her back against Adaine's bleacher.

"No, but why aren't you out there with everyone else having fun?" Adaine challenged.

"Why aren't you?" Machaira countered simply. Adaine flushed. "I know this isn't really your thing, but you might have fun. And you don't have to wrestle if you don't want to." The wizard pressed her lips together. She wanted to play, but she didn't want Machaira or the others to feel like she needed special treatment.

"No, I'm fine," she lied. "But don't stop having fun just because of me. Go back and down there and kick Fabian's ass."

"I always have fun when I'm with you," Machaira asserted. "Besides, I kick Fabian's ass every day during fifth period." A little warm glow bloomed inside the diviner at that. "So, tell me about that conjuration project you mentioned at lunch." Machaira stayed and chatted with Adaine until the others were ready to go to Strongtower. As they descended the bleachers, Adaine flashed the rogue a small smile, hoping to convey her gratitude without words. Machaira smirked and shoulder bumped her, tail brushing against her legs.

Machaira went out of her way to make Adaine feel included, even when the wizard was too shy to do so on her own.

There is an unspoken rule that no girl should ever let her friend go to the bathroom alone. Although men tended to make light of this, the truth is that no woman is ever really safe alone. As horrific and unfair as this reality was, Adaine was very grateful her friends adhered to this rule so strictly. All four girls would go to the bathroom together at the Black Pit, but Machaira was Adaine's silent shadow wherever she had to pee. Fig and Kristen also followed this rule to the letter, but Machaira sometimes departed for the bathroom without saying anything and went unnoticed by the others. None of the girls worried about this too much until shortly before the winter break when a drow junior followed Machaira into the bathroom, put on a fox mask, and came onto her. The scout had dragged her mauled victim out into a hallway of appalled students, dumped him in the boys' bathroom, and walked straight to Goldenhoard to inform him of the incident. Machaira's injuries had been superficial at worst, but it served to remind them that they had this rule for a reason.

During their second week back at school, Adaine was fulfilling her duty as Machaira's bathroom buddy just as she had dozens of times before. The rogue was washing her hands and telling Adaine a story about how she had accidently confused Gorgug with some advice she gave him on how to talk to Zelda.

"Did he ask if you were his dad?" The wizard queried. Machaira laughed and beamed at her.

"No, but there was a moment where I was sure he would." She replied, golden eyes dancing with mirth. Machaira started to turn back to the sink and froze, staring at herself in the mirror. The humor died from her gaze. The tabaxi curled her lip the way she did when she smelled something bad or when Adaine talked about Aelwyn. Her face tightened into a disappointed grimace. The expression lasted for only a moment before Machaira looked resolutely into the sink and finished washing her hands. The rogue finished her story, explaining that she corrected Gorgug's confusion and no lasting damage had been done, before she led the way out of the bathroom.

Adaine realized that in the months she had accompanied Machaira to the bathroom, the scout didn't use the mirror. She didn't use makeup, and she could smooth her fur at will. But Machaira never looked in the mirror. When Adaine stepped out of a stall and Machaira was waiting for her, she would be staring at the wall or ceiling or floor. When Machaira went to wash her hands, she kept her head down or to the side. Machaira didn't want to see herself. She had told Adaine that she checked her reflection in a stream behind her camp in the morning, but the wizard never saw her willing look at her reflection.

I'm just a stray that was too mean and ugly to get taken in. When Machaira looked at herself, she saw something ugly and unwanted. When she looked in the mirror, Machaira saw what she had been told she was. It made Adaine angry. She wanted to drag her friend back to the mirror and shake her until the rogue saw what Adaine saw. Because Adaine saw a girl, a woman worth respecting. Adaine saw someone strong enough to survive the worst life had to throw at her. Adaine saw compassion that had weathered the most extreme of cruelty. Adaine saw power. She saw the predator that ate hippogriffs and the person who went out of her way to be kind to a panicking elf on the first day of school. When Adaine saw Machaira, she saw the sun rising over a cold world. Her scars would catch the light and glimmer like white streams across the gentle tawny of her fur, little black rosettes peeking in and out of view as she moved. Adaine wanted Machaira to see herself the way Adaine saw her.

But telling Machaira any of this felt dangerous, like the high elf was teetering on the edge of a precipice that she couldn't see the bottom of. Adaine couldn't even say, out loud or to herself, that the tabaxi was beautiful. She worried that voicing these things might lead to other discussions, to exploring strange feelings that choked her when she tried to understand them. So Adaine said nothing and hated herself for allowing Machaira to think this way.

And when Machaira asked her what was wrong, all Adaine could say was that she didn't know how to explain it. Machaira held her hand, and when the high elf squeezed she took Adaine's other hand. And when Adaine leaned forward, Machaira held her. The rogue did not demand an explanation for Adaine's emotional distress, only made herself present and available. That Adaine could not tell her friend how wonderful she was physically hurt the wizard. So she hugged Machaira back and prayed that the rogue would understand how much Adaine cared about her. But the next time they went to the bathroom, Machaira subtly averted her eyes from the mirror, and Adaine didn't know how to make her see what the diviner saw in its reflection.

Adaine couldn't always express how she felt about Machaira. A thought, a feeling, lay buried under a chaotic whirlwind of half-understood anxieties. All she knew for sure was that the tabaxi was important to her, more so than even her party.

"You okay there?" Adaine asked.

"Yeah, just fine," Machaira grunted, straining to pull a book from her rucksack. The bag was overstuffed and stretched too tightly to properly close. The book Machaira wanted slid from her bag at the pace of a lazy glacier, held back by the pressure of the tomes around it. The rogue heaved, and the book rose out a little faster. With a final groan, Machaira yanked the book from her bag with such force that the rest of her things exploded out as well.

"Shit." Machaira muttered, kneeling down to collect a handful of loose writing instruments. Adaine smirked and began picking up textbooks. She noticed that Machaira had more of them than she normally did. Three titles in particular stood out as unusual: Advanced Divination Magic, Divination Theory Explained, and Divination for Dummies. Adaine looked over at Machaira. The tabaxi had frozen with one hand stuffing a pair of notebooks into her bag, ears back and tail skittering as she met Adaine's questioning gaze.

"Machaira, are you thinking about taking up divination?" Adaine asked. Machaira's throat and cheeks reddened.

"No, but – promise you won't get mad?" The scout pleaded. Adaine nodded. "When you tell me about, like, your classes and magic and stuff, I, I never understand what you're talking about; and then you have to go back and explain everything to me. I thought I could do a little study on my own and learn enough to keep up a conversation with you."

"So, you got three books just to understand my coursework?" Adaine reiterated, warmth trickling through her body. Machaira shrunk inward and glanced at the ground.

"Well, you mentioned that you were reading Advanced Divination Magic, so I started with that. But I, it was, I was still confused, so I got the theory book. But that was still really complicated, so I got Divination for Dummies." Machaira's voice became faster until it dropped to a mumble, red glowing under her white cheek fur like a Valentine.

"You didn't have to do all of that," Adaine told her. "I like talking to you about my classes. But that was really sweet." Machaira whispered something to her boots that Adaine couldn't pick up. "So, what did you learn?" Machaira's tail snaked around her ankles.

"Nothing," she murmured. "I couldn't even understand Divination for Dummies." The tabaxi rolled her shoulders in and held out her hands for the books Adaine had gathered. The diviner set the books down and took Machaira's hands.

"If you wanted to learn more about divination, why didn't you just ask me?" Adaine asked. "I would be happy to teach you."

"I, I wanted to surprise you," Machaira admitted quietly. "Magic is important to you, and I wanted to be able to talk to you about it without forcing you to explain every little detail." Adaine heard the bitterness in her voice and squeezed Machaira's hands.

"Wizard magic is really complicated, especially divination," she told the rogue. "It's a difficult subject to just jump into. But if you really want to learn, you could audit my fourth period divination class." Machaira murmured something about not wanting to step on her toes. "No, it'll be so much fun to have you in my class!"

Adaine needed to remember to read the future before she made promises.

When the wizard walked into her fourth period divination class two days later, Machaira was already there talking to their instructor. More than a few students were shooting the rogue odd looks and whispering to each other. It was rare that anyone tried to multi-class divination due to its complex and somewhat unreliable nature. Before Adaine got close enough to hear what they were saying, the teacher conjured a desk in the back corner of the room and gestured for the rogue to sit there. Machaira nodded and moved to take her seat. Adaine changed course to intercept her friend.

"Hey," she greeted. "Are you here to audit the class? Why are you sitting way back here?"

"He said something about not wanting me to distract the regular students," Machaira explained, taking out one of her battered notebooks.

"Maybe I could convince him to let you sit next to me?" Adaine suggested.

"Miss Abernant," the teacher called over the end of her sentence. "Please take your seat. You can gossip with your friend during lunch."

"Guess not," Adaine mumbled, fast walking to her desk and pretending that she wasn't blushing at being called out. She quickly realized that this would be a bad lesson for Machaira to sit in on. The subject matter of the day required a fairly in-depth knowledge of spell-crafting and magic allotment, neither of which the rogue had a background in. But every time Adaine glanced over at Machaira, which was about every thirty seconds, the tabaxi was either jotting down a note or staring directly at the teacher. Everything was normal until the teacher posed a question for the class.

"Who can explain why casting a simple, or 'low-level' spell, with the raw magical energy necessary to elevate its effects is unwise?" Adaine and a few other students raised their hands. "Perhaps our visitor knows?" The teacher stared directly at Machaira's corner. Adaine turned with the rest of the class to see the tabaxi had frozen with her pencil in one hand, other hand holding the notebook flat. She blinked at their teacher, digesting the question. "Do you have a guess for us, Miss Mekhit?" Adaine crossed her fingers under the desk, silently rooting for her friend.

"Um… is it that it drains you too much?" Machaira ventured. "Like, casting a low-level spell as a higher-level spell costs too much energy to be worth the better effects?" The teacher arched an eyebrow and hmm'd.

"An over-simplified but at least partially correct answer. Higher-energy spells, or high-level spells, are more complicated by design and provide superior utility. Most low-energy, or low-level spells, are simpler and less effective by nature. For example, Witch Bolt can be cast to deal the same raw damage as Lightning Bolt, but Lightning Bolt will still have greater range. Do you understand?" Machaira nodded. "I would hope that you might learn at least the basics of spellcasting before attempting to learn such an advanced branch of magic."

As the teacher turned back to the board, Adaine seethed. Okay, so Machaira hadn't been exactly correct, but she also wasn't wrong. And everyone had to start somewhere. Adaine fumed for the rest of class, scowling at the back of her teacher's head and stabbing her notebook every time an i needed to be dotted. But when she glanced over at Machaira, the scout remained calm, quietly scribbling notes and paying close attention to the topic at hand. When the bell rang for lunch, Adaine stuffed her books into her bag, shoved aside the normal crowd of students who wanted her opinion on some bit of magical theory, and stomped her way to Machaira.

"I am so sorry about him," Adaine apologized. "That was really uncalled for." Machaira shrugged.

"I'm used to it," she said, inadvertently feeding the high elf's indignation. "Besides, I'm glad I came. I am." She restated when Adaine looked at her funny. "I feel like I learned something. At least, I learned that one thing."

"You're not even going to multi-class as a wizard," Adaine objected. "Why would that matter?"

"It matters to you," Machaira reminded her. "I'm never going to use this stuff, but I want to understand it so that I can talk to you about it." The tabaxi was somewhat subdued, but she offered the wizard a little smile as she slung her bag over her shoulder. Adaine grinned in return, her irritation evaporating.

"Come on, let's go meet up with the party," she suggested. "And next time you have questions, just ask me. I like talking to you about my life."

"Deal," Machaira agreed.

Even though they valued magical competence almost as much as social status, Adaine's family dismissed her studies as unimportant because she wasn't at Hudol. But Machaira cared about Adaine; if something was important to her, the tabaxi would respect it.

"Come on, Adaine, it's not hard."

"Not for you," Adaine shot back, drawing her arms over her chest. "There is no way I'm doing this. I don't even know why I came this far."

"Because you can't be defeated by a stick?" Machaira tried.

"It's not the stick that'll defeat me; it's the six meters of empty space between the stick and the ground." Adaine peeked over the edge of the wooden platform at the floor below. Machaira had asked her to come to one of the training rooms with her. There the rogue had introduced her to a terrifying structure composed of two wooden towers about ten meters apart that could be climbed via a stairway, connected at the top by a wooden beam eight centimeters wide. Machaira who could climb most vertical surfaces almost as easily as she could walk on level ground, simply strolled over the beam, turned around, and asked Adaine to join her.

"If you fall, I'll catch you," Machaira promised. "But you won't fall."

"Of course I'll fall," the wizard snapped. "I'm clumsy, and that beam is way too narrow." Her chest tightened just thinking about it. Her legs felt weaker. She started to shake.

"Adaine." Machaira's voice was quiet but firm. "Look at me." Adaine met her gaze. Golden eyes met her own squarely, filled with confidence. "You got this." There was no doubt in the tabaxi's voice. "Stand up straight." Adaine obeyed instinctively, maintaining eye contact. "Arms at your side, shoulders squared." Again, the high elf followed her orders as if in a dream. "Relax your shoulders. This isn't something you have to be afraid of."

"I disagree." She argued, voice small as her breaths shortened. Heat drained from her body, hairs rising on the back of her neck.

"It's fine to be afraid. I'm afraid every day." Machaira never lied. Adaine could see the truth in every word as she spoke. "But this isn't something you should be afraid of. You're Adaine Abernant, and you can walk across a stupid stick."

"But what if I can't?"

"I know you can." Machaira had full faith in her, and it showed. "Relax your shoulders, and step up to the beam." Adaine didn't want to move, but she found herself already standing at the edge of the platform, toes aligned with the start of the wooden beam. She peered down at the ground, stomach churning. Her vision began to swim. "Adaine, look at me." She immediately gravitated toward Machaira's voice and the safety it represented. The tabaxi's golden eyes were soft. "Look only at me. The floor doesn't matter so long as you put one foot directly in front of the other and come to me." She held out her arms for a hug, and Adaine's thumping heart ached to join her. She stepped forward onto the balance beam, and wobbled. Adaine yelped, heart pounding to escape her chest. She started to look down, body pitching forward.

"Adaine." The high elf jerked her eyes back to Machaira's. "Stop and get your bearings." Adaine froze, panicked brain latching onto a voice she trusted intuitively. The wizard straightened, standing properly upright again, arms at her side but slightly flared for balance. "This isn't a race. Just put one foot in front of the other whenever you feel ready, and come to me." For a minute, Adaine didn't move, hypnotized by Machaira's calm, golden gaze. Then, as if in a trance, she slid her left leg around her right and took another step forward.

"Why am I doing this?" She whispered rhetorically.

"Because you are so much stronger than you think you are," Machaira answered anyway. "I want you to see that."

"How is walking a balance beam supposed to make me strong?" She objected, taking another step forward.

"It doesn't." Machaira admitted. "Your parents are pretentious assholes, and your sister is a cunt. High school fucking sucks, and we've been through way too much shit for kids our age. And the entire time I've known you, you have done nothing but kick ass." Machaira smirked, affection clear on her face. Adaine took another step forward. "There is nothing wrong with being nervous or scared. Your anxiety doesn't control you. You've proven that time and time again on the field of combat. But I want you to see that even without the high stakes of life and death, you're stronger than your fears. Adaine Abernant kicks ass in life, not just in battle."

"But what if I screw up?" Adaine asked, nearly whispering. She kept walking across the beam heel to toe, each step covering the minimal amount of distance. The wizard remained fixed on those golden eyes, unblinking as they called her forth.

"Sometimes you will," Machaira admitted. "When that happens, you'll get up, dust yourself off, and keep going. Everyone fucks up. But your family couldn't stop you from being a great wizard. Torek Railgrinder couldn't stop you from chaining down Crush. Coach Daybreak couldn't stop you from saving Riz and stopping the apocalypse. You got hit, you got up, and you wrecked face. That's what you do. And if you fall, I'll always be there to catch you and help you get back up. But, honestly, you don't need my help – " Machaira leaned forward and embraced Adaine. The high elf slid her arms around Machaira's neck as the rogue picked her up and swung her around to the center of the platform. Adaine hadn't realized how much progress she had made, she had been so focused on reaching Machaira. "But I'll be there for you just the same."

Adaine stared down at Machaira, still mesmerized by warmth of her gaze. She looked away, over the edge of the platform. The drop to the floor no longer seemed scary. Her breathing was steady. Her heart slowed to an easier tempo. She looked back at Machaira, returning her attention to those yellow eyes, filled with pride, pride in her. Adaine found herself smiling,

"One day, Adaine, you're going to take the world by storm," Machaira told her, voice rippling with joy for her. "I just want to be there to see it." Warmth returned as Adaine beheld her friend in silence. She hugged Machaira again, silently rejoicing as the fluffy tail wound about her waist.

Machaira believed in Adaine more than anyone ever had. She knew Adaine was going to be okay even when Adaine didn't. She didn't try to run the wizard's life. Machaira just stayed by her side to support her and catch her if she fell.

"Hey, don't those guys go to Aguefort, too?" Adaine looked where Kristen was pointing. They had gone to Basrar's after Bloodrush practice, and the parlor had a respectable number of customers eager to round out their dinner with the best ice cream in Elmville. Three boys about their age were just sitting down a few booths over, talking and laughing as they waited for the djinn to take their orders.

"Yeah, that guy with the red shirt sits next to me in my divination specialist class," Adaine confirmed.

"You mean the hot high elf?" Fig asked, kneeling on the booth to see better.

"Uh, yeah, I mean, I guess, yeah," Adaine stammered, blushing.

"Didn't you say that the guy who sits next to you in fourth period is, like, super cute?" Kristen recalled. "Is that him?"

"Well, I mean, I, kind of, he's pretty, yes." The wizard's voice became mousy until she squeaked. The rest of the party started craning their necks to get a better look at him.

"I mean, I guess he's hot for a dude," Kristen admitted, snickering along with the others.

"No, that's a handsome guy," Riz confirmed.

"I mean, er, he's fine, I suppose, for Adaine," Fabian stuttered.

"What's that supposed to mean?" The wizard demanded petulantly.

"Well, I, uh, he, he's a good-looking guy but you – you can do so much better," Fabian quickly backpedaled. Adaine glared at him suspiciously. "No, I mean, really, he's, you know, decent, but – "

"He's hot." Fig settled bluntly. "Adaine, do you have a crush on him?" The diviner blushed. "Ooooooooh."

"All I said was that he was cute," Adaine tried to correct the tiefling.

"What's his name?" She asked.

"Jason."

"Oooh, that's a good name," Kristen piped up.

"I mean, I've barely spoken to him," Adaine protested.

"But you did say you thought he was super cute," Fig clarified. Adaine shrank inward a little but nodded, grinning sheepishly. A flicker of motion from the corner of her eye caught the wizard's attention. She turned just in time to see Machaira try to cover the disappointment in her eyes, blinking and smiling until she appeared just as interested and supportive as the others, but Adaine could still see a trace of sadness there.

"What's he like?" The tabaxi asked, doing her best to seem cheerful.

"I mean, he's really smart, but again I, I've barely talked to him," she babbled, staring down at the table.

"Why not go talk to him now?" Fig asked.

"Yeah, Adaine, don't be shy," Kristen encouraged. "Go talk to him. You're even hotter than he is." The cleric gave her a creepy exaggerated wink that made Adaine cringe, much to the party's entertainment.

"Yeah, if you like him, go talk to him," Gorgug advised quietly.

"Oh, that's rich coming from you," Fabian teased. Fig, Adaine, and Kristen leapt to the half-orc's defense at once, drowning each other out in a babble of protests.

"But that's really good advice," Fig finally spoke over the other girls. "Go in there and get him!"

"What if I don't want to?" Adaine objected.

"Don't be shy," Kristen repeated.

"It's not that, I, just, I mean, he's cute, but – "

"Gorgug, Fabian, Riz, come outside with me." Machaira declared, walking up to the table. The other six adventurers started. Adaine hadn't noticed the rogue leave the table.

"What the fuck?" Fabian gasped.

"Where did you – " Gorgug began.

"Outside, with me, now." The tabaxi commanded.

"What – " Riz started.

"Hsssssssssss," Machaira spat, baring her fangs. The goblin jumped.

"Jesus," Fabian cried, hand to his heart.

"Hsssssss! Hsssssss! Hssssssss!" Machaira rasped, whiskers rotating forward.

"Okay, okay, okay," Fabian put up his hands. The boys wormed their way out of the booth and followed the scout outside. The three remaining girls stared at each other. Clearly Adaine wasn't the only one who felt like she was missing a piece of the puzzle.

"What was that about?" Kristen asked.

"I have no idea," Adaine admitted, trying to see the other four members of their group through the window. Unfortunately, from her position the orange glare of streetlights rendered the window useless. Fig looked about the parlor, stiffened, and whirled back to Adaine with an excited smile. The high elf had about half of a second to wonder what had gotten into her friends when she noticed Jason heading toward their booth and staring directly at Adaine. The wizard turned to her friends for help, but the massive shit-eating grins that they flashed her only made Adaine want to hide in her jacket.

"Uh, hey, you're Adaine, right?" Jason began, trying for a smile that only came out a little nervous.

"Uh, hi, yeah, that's me," Adaine agreed quietly, racking her brain for a way not to be uncomfortable here.

"I'm Jason," Jason unnecessarily explained. "I sit next to you in fourth period."

"I know," Adaine informed him. She heard the bluntness of her own voice from outside her body. Jason started to look a little put out. "You're one of the best students in our class." Adaine added quickly. Maybe a little overkill, but she didn't want to seem rude.

"Thanks, you're, like, crazy smart too, right?" Jason tried to regain his footing.

"I am," Adaine confirmed. Fig snorted. "I mean, yeah, I, I know magic." Adaine tried to downplay her bragging. Kristen giggled. "Um, sorry, these are my party mates, Fig and Kristen."

"Nice to meet you," Fig said, holding out her hand and reigning in her amusement. The bard lived to create chaos, but she was still a nice girl with common sense.

"So, what are you doing here, Jason?" Kristen asked without preamble. Adaine shot her a glare.

"Um, getting ice cream – "

"No, I mean here with Adaine," Kristen clarified, waggling her eyebrows and nodding. Jason blushed, and Adaine prayed a magic portal would open up and swallow her.

"Um, your friend, the tabaxi, told me – I mean," Jason stuttered over himself a bit, blushing harder. "She told me that – she said you thought I was handsome." He finished in a rush, paused, and took a deep breath. "So, I thought I would, you know, ask you out. As in a date. Do you want to go out sometime?" Adaine blinked at Jason, processing his question, before looking over at her friends. Kristen and Fig beamed at Adaine. Jason smiled at her. He really was handsome.

You got this. Fig told Adaine via a Message spell. Adaine took a moment to appreciate the situation. Jason was a talented, high elf divination wizard who had just asked her out: no pick-up lines, no bullshit, just straight up asked her on a date. He wasn't dressed ostentatiously, but his clothes were definitely nicer than most of their classmates could afford. This was a fantasy she had had since she was eleven. This was every female high elf's fantasy ever. Honestly, she was more than a little flattered even with Machaira's meddling. Adaine smiled.

"No," she said calmly. Jason blinked and frowned, crestfallen and confused. "I'm sorry. You're very nice, and you are handsome, but I, I don't want to go out with you." A year ago, she would have said yes. Two months ago, she would have said yes. From Fig and Kristen's gaping stares of uncomprehending shock, they expected her to say yes.

"Oh, okay." Jason shifted from foot to foot, unsure of what to do with himself. "Well, bye, then." He turned and walked back to his friends. Adaine felt only the smallest, faintest breath of remorse at seeing him leave, mostly about what the others in the party and in class might think about her. Fig and Kristen watched him go for a few seconds before turning on Adaine, mouths moving silently for a few seconds.

"Why did you do that?" Fig asked. "I thought you liked him?"

"I said he was cute," Adaine corrected her. "I did not say that I had a crush on him."

"So?" Kristen asked. "You still could have…" She mimed something halfway between sashaying and thrusting. The other girls leaned away from her. "I mean, he could have been fun. You know, like a casual dating sort of thing…"

"I just… didn't want to." Adaine explained. "I wasn't excited that he asked me out. Yeah, sure, it was a good ego boost, but I could go on a date with him the same way I could maybe rewatch an episode of an old TV show or something." Adaine's friends stared blankly at her. The diviner shrugged, wishing the attention would go somewhere else. "I don't know. He didn't do it for me." Kristen and Fig stared at each other for a moment, before they turned back to Adaine with bright smiles that very clearly said, you're crazy, but you're our friend, so we are honor-bound to support your romantic decisions.

"Well, you know, good for you, Adaine," Kristen told her. "You can do better anyway."

"If you don't want him, you don't want him," Fig summarized, taking a swig from her flask.

"Thanks guys," Adaine smiled at them and picked up Machaira's malt. She took a gulp and almost gagged. The tabaxi always got a giant chocolate, hazelnut, and vanilla blend malt. While very tasty, Machaira's malt was rich even by Basrar's standards. The wizard squinted her eyes as the chunk of dairy goodness impacted her stomach. How on earth did her friend drink these so quickly?

"Um, Adaine, that's not yours," Kristen informed her.

"I know," she replied. "I'm punishing Machaira for meddling. Also, more ice cream for me."

"No, that was sweet," Kristen protested.

"Don't be that girl who drowns her sorrows in ice cream," Fig teased.

"I'm not," Adaine declared. "I'm that girl who doesn't need someone to set her up." She took another deep draught of Machaira's malt, skin shivering as the thick rivers of sugar and cream filled her stomach. While the high elf preferred plain shakes to malts, she had to admit that Machaira had great taste. Fig shrugged, toasted her, and took samples from everyone else's ice cream. Kristen joined her, though they only dented the remaining food instead of devouring it. Even slurping at top speed, Adaine barely managed to finish Machaira's desert before she led the boys back inside.

"Yes, Machaira," Fabian began in a loud, clear voice as they neared the booth. "That was very interesting. Thank you for showing us."

"Yeah, that was a cool thing," Riz continued only somewhat more believably.

"We were sufficiently distracted," Gorgug added helpfully. Machaira's unimpressed expression could make most creeps rethink their life's choices, but it only sparked laughter among the party. As the boys slid back into the booth, Machaira lifted her empty malt glass for inspection.

"I deserved that." She stated, indirectly confessing to her interference.

"Yes, you did," Adaine confirmed as the scout sat down. "I don't need you to throw guys my way."

"So, he actually came over and talked to you?" Machaira inferred.

"Don't change the subject," Adaine commanded.

"When are you going out?" Machaira disobeyed. She smiled at Adaine, trying to be cheerful, but her eyes were dull, whiskers and tail dragging. Fabian and Riz looked from the girls to each other to their ice cream and decided to stay focused on the third choice.

"We're not." Adaine told her. "He asked, and I said no." Machaira blinked, surprise washing everything else from her gaze. The boys briefly looked up before remembering that they were supposed to be feigning indifference. "Just because he's cute doesn't mean I have a crush on him. I don't need you to ask boys out for me."

"I didn't," Machaira denied calmly. "I told him you thought he was cute."

"Why would you tell him that?" Adaine demanded.

"I thought you liked him, and I want you to be happy." Machaira said simply. "But you're right, it wasn't my place to interfere, and I'm sorry." For a few seconds the group sat in silence. Fig repressed a smile, looking back and forth between them. Adaine tried to stay mad, but her irritation dissolved in the face of Machaira's candor. The rogue held up her empty malt glass. "Call it even?"

"Okay," Adaine relented, pulling her own shake closer to her chest. Machaira smirked and laughed, and the evening carried on. The tabaxi didn't touch Adaine until the wizard snuggled up next to her to escape the cold. Adaine smiled at Machaira as she slung her arm around the scout's waist, letting her know that they were okay. Machaira gave her a soft, warm smile in return and kept an arm around Adaine's waist or shoulders for the rest of the night.

Eventually they made their way back to the Gukgak apartment for movie night. Fig convinced them that they should try to fit everyone on the couch, which, after a little trial and error, they managed to do. Adaine insisted on sitting on the cushions and eventually won her spot there along with Fabian and Gorgug. Fig and Kristen made themselves comfortable on the arms of the couch, while Riz sat on Fabian's lap. Machaira, who was much too heavy to sit on top of one person but too small to see over anybody's shoulder, assured them that she had a plan once the others got into position. The tabaxi took off her boots, treated herself to a long, luxurious stretch that made her whole body quiver, and lay down over everyone sitting on the three main cushions. Riz laughed and Fabian protested as Machaira slunk across their laps, curling part way onto her side to lay her head and shoulders in Adaine's lap. The couch sagged but ultimately held their combined weight.

"Mmmmm," Machaira hummed, kneading her claw tips in Adaine's jeans.

"Comfy?" Adaine teased.

"Very," Machaira murmured, shifting to press her head into Adaine's chest. The wizard laughed and scratched her behind the ears. Machaira tilted her head up and into Adaine's hand. She began to purr, and Adaine's concerns dissolved as the world was reduced to herself, her friends, and the tabaxi under her hands. Fig snickered, and chuckles drifted from the others as the deep vibrations began to take effect, soothing the primal anxieties that dogged their subconscious. Machaira wrapped her arms around Adaine's legs, and the high elf dug her fingers deep into Machaira's ruff, drawing forth louder purrs.

"Hey, Adaine, will you play with my hair if I sit in your lap?" Fig asked with an impish grin.

"Sure," Adaine giggled. The tiefling tried to nudge Machaira's head out of the way, and the tabaxi curled her lips, exposing hooked teeth. She cracked open a yellow eye and shot the bard a sleepy glare.

"My lap," she rumbled, too relaxed to properly growl.

"Oh really?" Fig challenged.

"Mm-hmm." Machaira laid her head back down and closed her eyes, rubbing her head against Adaine's stomach.

"Isn't it my lap?" Adaine inquired with a grin.

"No, this is my lap." Machaira corrected her, voice falling into a drowsy hum. Adaine laughed.

"Sorry, Fig," she amended. Accepting that this was her life now, the wizard gave the tabaxi little scritches around her ears and jaw and was rewarded with a purr that made the whole couch shiver. Any desire Adaine might have had to move was consumed by the warmth that Machaira's purr built within her. Adaine's heart swelled with affection, and she continued to pet and scratch Machaira as they watched the movie, fingers dragging lazily through her mane. Machaira was barely conscious, completely pliant to the motions of Adaine's hand. The diviner wasn't much better, content to bask in the presence of her friends, the soft brush of fur on her skin, and the warmth that had spread from Machaira to flood every inch of her body. Only one thing really caught her attention that night.

At multiple points during the movie, Machaira bit her. Well, 'bit' was a strong word. The tabaxi gripped Adaine's knee or thigh in her jaws, applying just enough pressure to make the action known without causing discomfort. Machaira had done this before sometimes if Adaine stopped petting her too suddenly, but tonight she mouthed the high elf at least half a dozen times, often when Adaine was mid-pet. Eventually, Adaine realized that Machaira was doing it when someone else touched her. If Adaine tapped Fabian's shoulder to get his attention, she was fine, but if Kristen shook Adaine's arm and the wizard responded, she would bite.

After six bites Machaira had not even left a red pressure mark, but she did flash an awful lot of teeth whenever she bit Adaine. The rogue had also slid one arm around Adaine's waist to hold the wizard closer, shifting to take up Adaine's entire lap. Claws flexed weakly atop her jeans, and Machaira rubbed her muzzle along Adaine's thigh. As usual, Machaira wasn't even remotely lucid, so Adaine's whispered inquiries went unheeded. The tabaxi only responded to her tone or a few keywords and nuzzled her upon hearing them, which was adorable but not particularly helpful. Still, Adaine eventually figured it out.

Machaira was happy to have Adaine's affection and none too keen to share the high elf's attention. While her behavior was possessive, it was not unwelcome. Machaira didn't stop anyone from interacting with Adaine nor did she react when Adaine reached out to them. She just made it very clear that, for the moment, Adaine was her pillow and her source of petting and no one else's. Coming from someone else, Adaine would have dunked them as she had dunked on Biz. But Adaine found it strangely endearing that Machaira had staked a claim to her even during her delirium. The wizard recalled sweater-Machaira of New Year's Eve and decided that she was more than happy to let the tabaxi assert herself over Adaine.

When everyone began to go their separate ways and Machaira properly woke up from her cuddly haze, the scout blushed through her fur and quickly stood, muttering strings of apologies to Adaine. The high elf assured her that the evening had been wonderful and that the rogue had nothing to apologize for. Machaira, fur mussed from Adaine's ministrations, gave her a small smile, eyes bright with a simple joy. Still numb and warm from their compact movie night, Adaine had already forgotten about Jason. Machaira wished her goodnight and sweet dreams outside the Abernant residence, offering to hang out after sixth period the next day.

"You promise?" Adaine teased tiredly. Machaira's expression was softer than Adaine's bed.

"Yep." The single syllable filled Adaine's stomach with butterflies, and she accepted quickly. Adaine didn't let Machaira leave until the tabaxi promised to send her a 'home safe' text and wished the rogue goodnight twice. On her way up the gravel road to her door she turned back to wave. The butterflies swarmed to see Machaira waiting patiently outside the gates, offering Adaine a mock salute in return. The wizard stayed awake just long enough to receive Machaira's text and wish her goodnight again before passing out. The next morning Adaine woke up a little earlier than she usually did, eager to get to school and meet up with Machaira. She saw the scout nearly every day, but Adaine was always happy to see her again.

Adaine knew her relationship with Machaira was special and deeply intimate. She knew they were closer to each other than the rest of the party, closer than most friends. They had suffered through a lot of neglect and abuse and finally found solace in each other. But that didn't necessarily mean her feelings were romantic, right? Adaine wasn't a lesbian, and she wasn't attracted to fur or claws or fangs. She couldn't love Machaira if she didn't desire her, right? The thought replayed itself through her mind more often than it should, circling through her brain like the question to a test she might yet fail.

Adaine didn't consider herself an especially sexual person. Kristen was constantly exploring her sexual desires and then telling the rest of the party about it. Fig was having an affair with a grown man under the disguise of his actual lover. Those were behaviors she considered especially sexual. Adaine rarely participated in their discussions on the topic. She wasn't uncomfortable with it, exactly, but she wanted to keep her sexuality more private. Adaine's parents held that sexual activity was a strictly clandestine matter. While she didn't fully agree with that statement either, the wizard had no desire to draw attention to her own sexuality.

When Fig or Kristen talked about their desires or escapades or crushes, Adaine couldn't help but feel… boring, by comparison. She wasn't horny nearly as much as they seemed to be, nor did she act on her desires so outlandishly. She didn't have quirks or kinks. When Adaine got turned on, she pretended that she wasn't until she was safely locked in her room and certain that her family was asleep. Then she scratched the itch between her legs and moved on with her life. She didn't own any sex toys to help the job along, and she'd never had even kissed anyone. Her fantasies were the most standard, stereotypical, cookie-cutter fantasies every high-elf girl had. Adaine knew that she was clever, but the diviner was a little embarrassed by how plain her sexual needs were. Yet at the end of the day her unimaginative fictions and standard methods got her release when she needed it, allowing Adaine to keep sex on the backburner where it belonged.

But not tonight. Tonight, Adaine was having trouble falling asleep. Her sex throbbed, demanding attention. She tossed and turned, legs squeezing together to try and suppress the urge; but Adaine's breathing remained a touch too heavy. Her room was too warm even after she flung off the covers. When it became clear that ignoring the problem was not an option, Adaine admitted defeat. After listening for movement elsewhere in the house, Adaine's hand pushed under her pajama bottoms and between her legs. She took a deep breath, conjured up her usual fantasy of a handsome, charming high elf come to fawn over her, and began to rub. But for the first time to date, her boring methods failed her.

Try as she might, Adaine couldn't maintain the image of a classically handsome high elf. The generic flattery her imagination read to her fell on deaf ears. During the moments she could properly envision him, the picturesque elf failed to excite her. Her fantasy crumbled apart around her. Adaine tried to relieve the ache between her legs through purely physical stimulation. The girl rubbed until her clit was sore but only managed to work herself up. Adaine heaved a frustrated sigh. Her sweat-damp clothes felt constraining, but she was too worried someone might barge into her room to take them off. It hadn't happened yet, but her family had no respect for her privacy.

The ache rippled up her body. In her desperation, Adaine slid a finger inside her sex, a rare occurrence for the diviner. She appreciated the penetration only briefly before her pleasure plateaued, much too low to get the job done. The friction went from stimulating to annoying. The elf took her hand away entirely, but the need remained. Her vagina complained as it clenched on nothing, aching nerves forcing any other thought from her mind. Adaine whined low in her throat, tortured by the pulses that echoed from between her legs, demanding satisfaction she didn't know how to fulfill. Caught in the grip of her own lust, self-deprecation crept in. She was so boring that she couldn't even get herself off.

"You're not boring," Machaira's voice whispered in her ear. Suddenly the image of the tabaxi crept into her vision, lanky frame propped on her hands and knees next to Adaine. "You want what you want. That's fine. And you still have time to figure it all out." Mirage-Machaira cupped Adaine's face and turned the elf to meet those golden eyes, thumb swiping over her cheek, claw tips tangling in her hair. Adaine was intimately familiar with the calloused texture of her palm. It was so easy to imagine it brushing against her skin. Over-sensitive nerves flared at the idea, and her face flushed with heat.

"Sssshhh, I've got you," mirage-Machaira murmured, moving to hover over Adaine. "I'm here for you, as much or as little as you want me to." The wizard recalled when Machaira had kissed her cheek and how her lips had felt. For a split-second, she could imagine that impossibly soft sensation across her own lips. Machaira would kiss her gently in the beginning, letting Adaine adjust and giving her time to object. Her touch would be loving, offering everything and asking for nothing. Adaine gasped, chest heaving as Mirage-Machaira planted slow, deliberate kisses over her lips and jawline, fingers stroking her hair. Her sex clenched, applying a dram of pressure to her clit.

"Machaira…" Adaine breathed. She didn't know if she was asking a question or making a promise. But even in her fantasy, mirage-Machaira paused, withdrawing enough to meet her gaze without leaving their small little world. Adaine's hazy imagination had her wearing the wyvern scale jacket over nothing but black panties, barely visible as the tabaxi straddled Adaine's waist. Mirage-Machaira did what Adaine knew real Machaira would have done and waited for her to be okay, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Adaine's ear, already red with heat, fairly burned as she imagined the fine fur of Machaira's hand brushing against it. It was even easier to picture Machaira's expression, eyes soft with love and patience as she waited for the wizard to be ready. Adaine's sex pulsed, and her legs trembled.

"Do you want me?" Mirage-Machaira asked, voice calm. The pulse intensified, walls of her sex clenching. Pressure built low in her stomach, a hunger no food could satiate. Even in her fevered dream, Adaine could only manage a nod and a mousy whisper. Shame started to creep in, but mirage-Machaira smiled and kissed her again, spreading a warm heaviness throughout the elf's body. "You're okay. I've got you." Adaine imagined Machaira's hands roaming over her body, caressing up her sides and down her arms before running back up her limbs to frame her face, tender kisses ghosting over the elf's lips. Goosebumps rose over the wizard's skin, fires blazing across her body as Adaine's breathing became rough and heavy.

Adaine bit back a moan and grabbed her breast, clasping the small mound in her palm. Adaine almost never played with her breasts, mostly because she knew no one would be impressed by them. But she also knew Machaira would play with them because Machaira would want to touch her everywhere. Mirage-Machaira made Adaine stare her in the eyes as she cupped the elf's breast, showing the diviner that she wanted all of Adaine as she massaged her chest. Mirage-Machaira's ghostly kisses migrated to her neck. Adaine's hips began to gyrate at the thought, heat pooling out from between her legs. Adaine closed her eyes, grapping more tightly at her breast, other hand diving down to rub circles over her labia. Adaine was wetter than she could ever remember being, wet enough that her lips made an audible smacking sound as they moved together.

When she opened her eyes, Adaine pictured mirage-Machaira's jacket unbuttoned and open, barely concealing her bust, white claw marks shining over her chest in the elf's dark vision. The wizard wondered how they would feel, if Machaira's breasts would be just as soft as her own or if they were firmer, how heavily they might weigh in her hands. In her mind, she reached out and grabbed mirage-Machaira's scarred tit, taking careful hold and squeezing. Adaine imagined that it would be covered in same fine haze of fur as her hands, imagined that the nipple pebbling under her palm was Machaira's, that her fingers were digging into the rogue's larger mound. Mirage-Machaira gasped and moaned, golden eyes fluttering shut. Adaine pinched the peak of her own breast. Pleasure spiked from the sharp point of contact, and she wished she could give the sensation to the scout. Mirage-Machaira shuddered, hips gripping Adaine more tightly. The mouth planting little kisses across her neck spread wide to take hold of her throat, a hint of the predator emerging as lust took over, establishing dominance over the little elf. Machaira would never come close to hurting her, but the tabaxi would certainly claim her.

"My mate," mirage-Machaira half-breathed and half-growled over Adaine's neck. Adaine's hips arched off of the bed, pussy convulsing at the thought. Her fingers stalled as conscious thought abandoned her, waves of pleasure rolling in. Adaine struggled to clamp her mouth shut on a cry, terrified at being heard. Her body finally fell back to the bed, shaking with the echoes of her orgasm. But still Adaine craved the tabaxi's touch, and her sex throbbed for yet more attention, emitting enough heat to warm her blankets.

Adaine had only ever tried to imagine the simple kiss and thrust of a man. She didn't know what Machaira would do exactly, but Machaira would know. Adaine pictured her friend moving over her body, taking control and pleasuring her. The elf ran her hands over her skin, ragged breaths tearing from her lungs at this poor substitute for Machaira's touch. She imagined the rogue growing rougher as they became more aroused, growling as she drew breathy whimpers from her lover. Adaine's vague ideas about how sex worked were irrelevant because Machaira understood precisely what to do. Adaine thrilled at the idea of having the tabaxi take charge and ravage her.

Every self-conscious fear that Adaine tried to block when she normally masturbated came forth: she was inexperienced and shy, she had small breasts, she wasn't shaved or waxed, she didn't have the curves other women had. But mirage-Machaira murmured sweet condolences and loving reassurances in her ear, slowing their fucking to love making. For the first time ever, Adaine began to understand the phrase. Her touches became tender, her voice softer. Adaine hadn't considered how patience and kindness and affection were sexy. How did those qualities become disassociated with sex in her mind? But Machaira was all of those things, and Adaine wanted her ten times more for it. Mirage-Machaira held her close and stroked her hair and whispered comforting things to Adaine as she kissed and stroked her until the high elf, overcome by the desire to be closer to Machaira, was struck by the urge to roll the tabaxi onto her back and pin her down.

Adaine always imagined herself on the bottom and getting fucked missionary style. She hadn't allowed herself to consider anything else. She just remembered Machaira saying that she liked to be on her back, and instinct took over. But even without the rogue present, Adaine froze, uncertain what to do. She didn't know how to be in command or how to pleasure someone properly. Mirage-Machaira smiled up at Adaine, happily surprised by the wizard's move. But she sensed Adaine's sudden discomfort and gently rolled the other girl under her again, lavishing kisses upon Adaine's body to show that she appreciated the attempt.

"It's your first time," mirage-Machaira reminded her. "You don't have to prove anything to me, not on the battlefield, and not I the bedroom." Adaine drew upon the emotional mark Machaira had left on her soul, and, in the height of pleasure that distorted any lie her conscious mind might inflict upon sentiment, knew that the feeling was one of being cherished, not merely desired.

Adaine pictured her hands running madly over the tabaxi, grabbing at her ass, ruffling her fur, digging fingers into her tits, and entangling hands in her mane, rocking the fur backwards as she had been shown so long ago, drawing forth moans and growls as Machaira reveled at her touch. Adaine knew the contours of Machaira's body, where hard muscle or soft, feminine curves lay, and it was easy to imagine that she held Machaira in her arms once more. Adaine wanted all of her: her sass, her determination, her compassion, her ferocity, her body. Gods, her body. Any concerns that she wasn't attracted to Machaira were long gone. Adaine wanted to feel Machaira's fangs scrape and nip at her skin, wanted to ruffle her fur, wanted to be wrapped up in her tail, and wanted to feel the heat and moisture of her sex against the elf's body. Adaine wanted to see hear her purr and moan for the wizard. Adaine wanted to feel the softness of her fur and the softness of her breasts. She wanted to memorize the pattern every scar made across her body, wanted to kiss them all until Machaira knew only warmth and safety and care as Adaine did in her arms. Mirage-Machaira kissed and nuzzled her, panting under her ministrations.

Pleasure undulated from her sex. Adaine sensed herself nearing climax, a summit higher than she had gone before. Adaine was wetter than she could ever remember being, dripping cum onto the bed until the sheet between her legs was damp to the touch. Adaine felt heavy with want, muscles dragged down by desire. Her pajama bottoms had been shoved to somewhere around her knees, and her shirt was pulled up over her chest. Her clit was red and raw and swollen from her furious rubbing, but each tiny prick of pain was drowned in gratification. As she pumped her sex, fingers working madly to drive her over the edge, Adaine imagined Machaira was the one touching her, control slowly cracking as Adaine's arousal drove her mad. Mirage-Machaira panted, meeting Adaine's eyes with her own lusty stare. Adaine felt that she should say something, even though her friend wasn't there, but she couldn't make herself talk through the mounting pleasure.

"I love you, Adaine," mirage-Machaira whispered. "Even if you don't love me." Just as the thought slipped into her fantasy, Adaine came. Her vision broke into bright spots of light at the force that rocked her body, legs simultaneously locking in place and spasming, clamped around her hands. Adaine's throat closed, voice abandoning her so that the three words she wanted to tell Machaira, the real Machaira, more than anything were silenced.

It took more than a full minute for Adaine to come down from her orgasm. Her room reeked over sweat and lust. Her hair and clothes were sticky and damp, as was the blanket beneath her. Fading ripples of pleasure echoed from her vagina, slit still throbbing, but not in a way that made her want to come again. Alone and drained of energy, Adaine would have passed out from the satisfaction were it not for the epiphany that buzzed about her brain.

For months, Adaine's concerns about her sexuality had cast doubts over her true emotions. She had been worried about what it might mean if she was bisexual, if she liked a humanoid with fur and animal attributes. She did not condemn such things, but her anxiety had swollen their importance until she lost sight of the simple truth. But now those concerns lay dead and buried in the rubble of her mind after the upheaval that was her orgasmic revelation. Adaine should have been freaking out over realizing that she was bi, but she was too tired. And a larger thought dominated her limited brain power.

Adaine was in love with her best friend. Adaine was in love with a girl. Adaine was in love with a tabaxi. Adaine was in love with Machaira. Machaira, who had changed Adaine's life in ways she could never have expected. Machaira, who had given Adaine everything she could have ever asked for in a friend and more she could not have dreamed of receiving. Machaira, her party member, who could take on three werewolves with nothing but her claws and teeth and keep going. Machaira, who loved Adaine and expressed her love every day. Patient, caring Machaira who always put Adaine first. Machaira, who had a body like a goddess. Machaira, who had taught Adaine the very meaning of love and intimacy.

Adaine was in love with Machaira.

Machaira, who thought herself an ugly beast. Machaira, who had been told she was unwanted and unlovable until she believed it. Machaira, who had been born unlucky and cursed for it many times over. Machaira, who thought she had nothing to offer the world but violence. Machaira, who called herself a slut because she had been used and mistreated by so many people. Machaira, who was sometimes reviled just for walking into a room. Machaira, who thought that her love was so undesirable that she tried to apologize for it in secret. Machaira, who thought Adaine would not, could not love her.

"I love you," Adaine whispered, a few tears beginning to break free. "I love you, Machaira." But the tabaxi was not present to hear her, and the wizard didn't know how she could convince her damaged friend to believe her. Adaine didn't know if she should tell Machaira. She didn't know if the rogue was ready for a relationship. She didn't know how to tell Machaira that she had known about the scout's feelings, spoken but not meant to be heard, and pretended that she hadn't known for almost two months. Adaine didn't know how to express that she wanted Machaira without being a furry, a group neither girl wanted to be associated with. Adaine sort of knew how to process her uncovered bisexuality, but the idea still staggered her.

But the question that had dogged her since the day winter break began had been answered. As Adaine fell asleep, she knew that she would no longer lie to herself. As Adaine fell asleep, a single thought branded itself onto her heart and mind.

I love you, Machaira Mekhit.