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"italics" = thoughts

(author's note at the end)


Pharah opened her eyes and looked around blearily as she slowly pushed herself into a sitting position on her bed. Looking at the nearby clock, Pharah was surprised to see it was almost midnight. Apparently the long gaming session with DVa had sapped Pharah's energy more than she had anticipated, as Pharah had only planned to take a two hour nap, not sleep the rest of the day. Setting her bare feet on the floor, Pharah yawned widely and carefully stretched. After a quick self-inspection to make sure none of her stitches or injuries had opened up, Pharah stood up and went over to her her dresser to put on some clothes. Donning some sweatpants and a baggy sweatshirt, Pharah pocketed her phone then opened the door to the hallway. Now fully awake, Pharah realized how hungry she was.

"Ugh...I bet Angela told everybody not to wake me up. I would have appreciated not missing dinner though."

With the season changing to winter, the hallway floor felt colder than usual as Pharah slowly walked towards the kitchen.

"I should get some slippers. Maybe Angela or DVa can recommend some…"

Getting closer to the cafeteria kitchen, Pharah suddenly heard the sound of a fridge opening. Peeking around the kitchen doorway curiously, Pharah could immediately tell who was raiding the fridge. Besides it's not like Winston could really blend in anywhere in the first place. The intelligent gorilla was busy perusing the refrigerator's contents and seemingly had not heard Pharah approach. Trying her best to not scare Winston, Pharah opened the kitchen door and spoke quietly.

"Hello Winston."

Winston flinched like he had been shocked with a cattle prod and whirled around to face Pharah, his arms full of various foods and beverages.

Pharah cringed slightly and held up her hands apologetically. "Sorry, I was trying to not surprise you."

Winston took several deep calming breaths as he closed the doors of the refrigerator with his foot.

Avoiding Pharah's eyes like an embarrassed teenager, Winston coughed awkwardly and shrugged slightly. "No need to apologize Pharah. I was...I was not expecting someone else to be up at this hour."

Pharah nodded in understanding as Winston continued to avoid her gaze, the gorilla shuffling over to some cabinets and rummaging around inside with a free hand. Clearly Winston was not in the best mood. Nobody except for Tracer had seen or heard from him in over a week, and whenever Tracer was questioned about Winston's whereabouts the cheerful woman simply said that the hairy scientist was just fine and wanted to be alone. Pharah was about to simply leave Winston alone, until the memory of trying to comfort Jesse floated through her head. The cowboy had mentioned how neither he nor Winston were experienced leaders, and that Winston was probably feeling guilty over leading his comrades and friends into a trap. Stopping short of the refrigerator, Pharah paused as Winston began to shuffle out of the kitchen with his fresh supplies. Childhood memories of her mother reassuring new recruits and comforting wounded veterans flashed through Pharah's brain like some kind of reminder that she was now part of a team and that it was the duty of teammates to look out for each other.

Turning around, Pharah did her best to sound comforting and softly called out to the large scientist. "Winston...um..are you feeling alright? Nobody except Tracer has seen you and some of us are getting worried. If you want...but you don't have to or anything...would you like to talk? Maybe I can...I don't know...provide a fresh perspective or something."

Winston stood still and Pharah felt an uncomfortable feeling gnawing in her stomach. Had she offended him? Was she overstepping her boundaries? After a few moments of silence Pharah was about to apologize when Winston gave a small nod and motioned for Pharah to follow him. Her hunger forgotten, Pharah followed Winston as he lumbered out of the cafeteria and towards his lab. Pharah walked behind Winston silently as the pair traveled through the darkened hallways of the base. Occasionally they would pass by large windows that looked out over the ocean and let in the soft moonlight. Eventually they arrived at Winston's lab, the melancholic gorilla beckoning for Pharah to follow him inside.

Once inside Pharah could see that Winston's state of mind had not improved at all. The few times Pharah had been inside the lab everything was organized and the room almost too clean. However now the lab looked more like something you would expect from a lazy teenager. Food wrappers and packaging were strewn about, all the windows were closed or sealed, the only sources of lights came from screens, and the smell of peanut butter permeated the entire room. Winston walked over to his specially designed chair and deposited his looted supplies on a cluttered table nearby as he climbed in and leaned back with a depressed sigh. Screens of all sizes displayed cascading rows of numbers, moving graphs, and silent news clips while bathing Winston in pale blue light. There was a moment of awkward silence as Pharah tried to find something to sit on, eventually finding a dusty rolling stool that was hiding underneath a table of lab equipment. Sitting down, Pharah hesitantly rolled slightly closer as Winston wordlessly began typing into a keyboard.

With a sigh Winston leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, finally speaking in a dejected tone of voice. "What do I do Pharah? I nearly got Lena killed...I almost got all of you killed, and on top of that a hacker almost managed to take control of Athena. Every time I see one of you I feel like I am going to pass out or throw up. Is that normal?"

Pharah listened intently to Winston, sympathizing with his feelings of guilt and helplessness. After some thought, Pharah shrugged and gently kicked an empty plastic jar of peanut butter that was near her feet. "I think that what you are feeling is normal, and I can understand where those feelings are coming from. I am going to be honest, I am not the best at these sort of...supportive talks. But I remembered seeing my mother take care of people and I realized that I should at least try to help if I see someone struggling. Don't tell Jesse that I told you this, but he was going through the same thing. I mean he was actually out practicing in the training area, I can count the number of times I have seen that man train on one hand. He told me how he felt unprepared to be a leader, and how he could never measure up to someone like Morrison or Uncle Gabriel."

Winston cracked opened one eye and looked over at Pharah as he let out a soft chuckle in amusement. "Yeah that is out of character for him to actually take something seriously. But he is right. I will never be on the same level as Morrison or Reyes."

Pharah shrugged again. "One thing that he said stuck out to me. He said that you were probably beating yourself up over this whole thing. That you had always been more of a person to support your friends from the sidelines instead of leading at the front."

Winston let out a long sigh and slowly straightened up in his chair, grabbing his trusty glasses and perching them on his nose. "Well he is right. I don't know what I was expecting when I activated the recall. Next thing I know everyone is looking to me for guidance and I have no idea what I am doing. But I can't just admit that sort of thinking to the people who are expecting me to lead them. I thought I could manage the responsibilities of being a leader but this whole debacle...I now understand just how hard of a job it can be. Honestly I was considering handing the leadership role over to you. You are experienced, you have talent, and sometimes when I look at you I can almost see your mother looking back at me. If she was here right now I am positive she would be very proud of you."

Pharah was nodding along sympathetically until Winston mentioned making her leader and her mother.

A storm of emotions washed through Pharah as she tried to process what Winston was saying. "I...me? Leading everyone? No I don't think that...I mean thank you but...why?"

This time it was Winston's turn to shrug as he absentmindedly typed into his keyboard. "Like I said, you have experience and talent. You were an officer in the Egyptian army, you contained a rogue AI, and you are the spitting image of your mother both in looks and skills. It is almost a no-brainer that you should be the one leading this new generation of agents. Your mother was an amazing woman who could even stand eye to eye with Morrison and Reyes when it came to disagreements...and you are just like her. You are too humble for your own good, both in a good and bad way. You may not feel like it, but you are probably the best candidate for taking leadership."

Pharah could feel the tears welling up in her eyes as the memories of the old days came flooding back, memories that Pharah had locked away because they always brought too much pain with them.

Slightly tilting her head up so that no tears would form, Pharah huffed in amusement. "Hey, I thought I was supposed to be helping you here. I appreciate that you think so highly of me...but I don't know if I am ready to be an Overwatch leader just yet."

Winston chuckled briefly and glanced over at Pharah who was illuminated in the soft glow of a bank of monitors. "Now seemed like a good time to tell you. I was never good at the whole interpersonal relationship thing anyways. You don't have to accept immediately, I just wanted to make you aware of the possibility."

Taking a steadying breath, Pharah idly rubbed her hands together and looked around. "Well what I was trying to say earlier is that you don't have to be on the same level as Morrison. Maybe take a different approach to the leadership structure of the team. Having a single leader is good when your team needs direction, but right now I think that way of thinking will only hold us back. This is just off the top of my head, but maybe try dividing up the leadership amongst everyone? All of us have different strengths and talents, so maybe we choose a leader on a mission by mission basis. It might get a little confusing, but I would feel comfortable following someone who has the most experience in the needed field."

Winston paused and stroked his chin as he mulled over Pharah's idea. "That is...not a bad idea. But that type of thinking may not be practical in the long term."

Pharah nodded and idly watched a screen that was playing a muted Korean news broadcast. "Maybe, but it is better than nothing. Look Winston, I know this whole mess has been really hard on you, but I think you are focusing too heavily on the negatives. Everyone survived, the hacker did not get access to Athena, and we now know that Talon is aware of us monitoring them. In my opinion they played their hand too early. If they had simply lulled us into a false sense of security over a period of time they could have taken us out in one fell swoop. That trap felt...I don't know…the way that Reaper person talked, it felt like it was personal. Like someone with a grudge against us had set it up."

Winston frowned but nodded slowly in slight agreement with Pharah's statement. "Well I guess you are correct about that. The whole thing felt really melodramatic. Like they really wanted to hammer home the fact that we had fallen so easily into the trap."

Grinning slightly, Pharah stood up and gently patted Winston's broad shoulder. "Good, now another thing. I know Tracer is a good friend of yours, but sometimes we just need a good push to get us going again. Sitting around in the dark is not good for you and isn't going to change anything. What's done is done If you really want to feel better then I say you stop focusing on the past and prepare for the future. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, get some sleep, and go take a walk in the sun."

Winston was silent for a few moments before letting out a brief chuckle. "Just then you sounded exactly like your mother. Kind, but just hard enough to emphasize what she was saying. You may not feel like it, but you don't have to hide in the shadow of your mother forever. I say it is high time you spread your wings and show the world who you are. Thank you Pharah, for everything." Adjusting his glasses, Winston patted Pharah's arm thankfully as the Egyptian woman blushed at the praise. "I think I have kept you up long enough. I seem to have some cleaning up to do."

Nodding in agreement, Pharah walked over to the large door of Winston's lab and waved goodbye to the intelligent gorilla before leaving. Walking back to her room, Pharah yawned when she realized just how tired she was.

"I guess I will just get some food in the morning. Maybe Jesse will make breakfast for everyone again."


Hello all, I have a question. Do you prefer shorter or longer chapters? I tried to keep this one on the shorter side in comparison to my other recent chapters.

Feel free to PM me or just post a review/comment with your opinion.

Thanks for reading