Chapter 21: Survive

October 14, 1943

There were many cages, with many men. After ten days, they were all starting to look a little worse for wear, with malnourishment and dehydration starting to set in. Every day, the soldiers in the hazmat suits would come, gas a cage, load the men up onto a cart like vegetables for the market, and take them to the elevator. Some hours later, most of them would return. But not all of them.

Lu tried to help the best she could, passing messages along the cages like a relay to help those that were really suffering after the sessions. Some, like the men in her cage, were tortured for information. Some, like those in the third cage over, were cut open and stitched back up, hoping that the scientists didn't leave anything behind. Some, like Barnes, were simply injected with something that set their whole world on fire. Those were the men that often didn't come back. Each time the elevator landed, the whole hangar was on alert, watching with wide eyes as the lackeys chose which cage was next on the list. Today, they came to her cage again - something that she'd been anticipating for the past couple days. Barnes tried to pull the same hero act as before, saying he would take her place, to leave her be, but the men didn't listen this time. This time the gas knocked her out, and when she woke up she was completely alone.

The chair was cold and uncomfortable, the restraints digging into the delicate skin of her arms and legs. It dug into the bones of her hips, which were a little more prominent thanks to the recent semi-starvation. She tugged at the leather straps buckling her to the chair, but there was little to no give in them. Panic started rising in her chest - she really, really hated the idea of being trapped anywhere - and she had to will herself to calm down, to swallow it back. Panicking would not help her now. In fact, it would probably make it worse. What would Barnes do, in this situation? He was an officer. He had the training for this.

She did not.

A door opened close to her, but with the lights over her she couldn't tell who was there. It was only one set of footsteps, moving towards her at a leisurely pace, probably trying to make her more nervous. Really it just made her kind of angry, which also helped with the panic. Finally, a man in thick glasses appeared, giving her an absolutely maniacal grin.

"Nurse Peters. How nice of you to finally join me." Dr. Becker said, sounding every bit like a sore winner.

"I should have known." she said through gritted teeth. No one had as horrible a track record as Dr. Becker, and no one had squirreled their way through so many half-assed investigations. He chuckled lowly, shaking his head.

"I think you did know, my dear." he said fondly, as if they were actually colleagues, as if she actually had any respect for him at all. "After all, why else would you make so many reports against me?"

"I made no such reports. Last I heard, they were all anonymous." she said. She may not be trained in surviving interrogations, but she at least knew that she wasn't supposed to give up or admit to anything. He chuckled lowly, apparently amused by her feeble lie.

"Right, of course." he said, as though placating a child.. She tried once again to free herself, but she only felt faint burning as the leather rubbed her skin raw. Dr. Becker turned away from her for a second, coming back into the light with a cloth that smelled strongly of alcohol. "You know, your sergeant was very brave, giving himself up for you."

"Don't have a sergeant." she said, cursing herself for the quiver in her voice. He gently wiped at her forearm with the rag, pretending he hadn't heard her.

"It's too bad, really. He was just prolonging the inevitable." he said. He put the cloth down, and picked up a syringe. A quick prick in her elbow, and he drew a vial of blood. "You were both always on the list for the Ecclesiastes project. He for his apparent advanced healing, and you because...well, honestly dear, you always rather annoyed me."

"The feeling is mutual." she said, trying not to scream or to cry or give in to any of the hundreds of emotions swirling around in her body. Barnes had come back saying everything hurt, and now it seemed she was about to get the same treatment.

"The Ecclesiastes project? Thank you for asking." Dr. Becker continued as if she hadn't spoken, his tone taking on that of a college professor. He carefully picked up another syringe, this one filled with yellow liquid. He made a big show of uncapping it, holding it up to get any air bubbles out. "Johann and I plan to create a whole race of super soldiers. That fellow over in America was able to do it, but just the once. He's a dancing show monkey now anyway - a waste. But if we can develop it before they can get back on track...why, wouldn't that turn things so well for us?"

"Why are you telling me this?" Lu asked. She could feel how wide her eyes were, how short her breaths were. She was past scared at this point, though she wasn't sure if she was scared to live through this or scared to die. Can't die, she told herself. Then Barnes would win. Win what, she didn't know, but the thought fanned the flame of survival a little more.

"Because this serum - well, it's just the base, the one we developed to test the body - has a habit of killing those that aren't worthy of the cause." he explained. He held no hesitation, no remorse. "Your sergeant survived. But I very much doubt you will. Your female body is rather inferior when it comes to something like this."

"Test it on yourself too, we'll see who handles it better." she snarled. She felt like a caged animal, somewhere between angry and horrified and scared out of her mind. She pulled on the leather again, but it still held fast.

"No, thank you." Dr. Becker said. He didn't leave room for any other persuasion or retort, plunging the needle into her skin and emptying it. Now she understood exactly what Barnes had said, about the serum burning him from the inside out. She couldn't stop herself from screaming then, her back arching off the chair and her skin breaking where it pushed against the restraints. However, she couldn't feel any of that over the fire. She didn't feel the needle when Dr. Becker took more blood. She didn't hear him laughing at her pain, or the sound of the door closing as he left her there. She screamed until her throat was raw, until her lungs ached, until her head felt like it was going to explode. And then, mercifully, she lost consciousness.

Bucky found out very quickly that there's not a lot of space to pace nervously in a tiny cage. The other men gave him a wide berth for an hour, maybe more, but after that their sympathy waned and their annoyance grew. Finally, Falsworth pulled Bucky to the ground, making him sit with the rest of them and wait it out. "It wasn't us." he said, as if that would bring Bucky any comfort. He opened his mouth to say something of the sort, but Falsworth cut him off. "It wasn't us." he reiterated, and with that he leaned into the corner of the cage and closed his eyes. If their biological clocks were right, they'd be turning the lights off soon, and it was better to get all the dark thoughts out now before the wails of other men losing their minds really dug in. Bucky was resigned to leaning against the bars, facing the elevator doors and alternating between anger and fear. They'd been gone a long time. A really long time.

"How you holding up, Sarge?" Gabe shifted next to him. Bucky spared a glance his direction before turning back to the elevator doors.

"Been better, Gabe." he said shortly. He sighed, regretting being so snappy; these men were just as stuck in this hellhole, and apparently had a different run of things than he did whenever they went in. He knew in his head that Falsworth was right, that they should be glad that the cage next to them got taken today and they were left alone, but that didn't stop him from worrying about Lu. That was what the men didn't seem to understand: it wasn't better for her to be taken. "Sorry. Rough day."

"Been a rough few days." Gabe agreed. He pulled his knees up, wrapping his arms around them and following Bucky's gaze. "Something tells me they want more than just some insider secrets on the Army."

"I think you're right." Bucky agreed. He remembered something in that moment, something that had slipped his mind after the yellow syringe. "Hey, did any of the guys that took you mention an 'Ecclesiastes project'?"

"No. What's that?" he asked warily. Bucky shook his head.

"Just something one of the guys said. I don't know anything about it." he replied. He left out the fact that Dr. Becker mentioned that he was chosen for it. Being chosen sounded terrible at that point. "Actually forgot he said anything about it till now."

"You should ask the other guys. Maybe they'll know." Gabe offered, and Bucky nodded in agreement. Of course, that's when the lights went off, plunging them into darkness. "Tomorrow. Ask them tomorrow."

"Yea, that seems like a good idea." Bucky agreed with a sigh. Gabe shifted next to him again, and he could tell in the dark that the guys were getting ready to try and sleep.

"Take a break, Sarge. I'm sure she'll be back when you wake up." he said. Dugan let out a groan at the words, and Falsworth muttered something that Bucky couldn't quite hear. He chose to ignore both reactions.

"I will in a minute." he lied. He was going to stay awake as long as he could, just in case they brought Lu back. He knew he'd been disoriented after waking up last time, and with her intense fear of containment she was probably going to need a little bit of help coming out of it. He didn't trust the chuckleheads in her cage as far as he could throw them.

A while later - it was impossible to tell if it was five minutes or five hours - the sounds of the elevator grating down the shaft echoed through the dark, silent room. He perked up, his joints complaining about the movement after being stuck in his cramped position for so long. But he ignored the pain, just as he ignored how bright the light from the elevator was. He tried to count the heads on the cart as the men pulled it in, finding that there were definitely less than when the cart left earlier. The backlight prevented him from making out any details as they flung the unconscious soldiers one by one back into the cage, but he knew there was no long, blonde hair catching the light. Maybe they shaved her head he told himself. The field uniforms were boxy and unflattering, and could easily hide a feminine shape amongst her distinctly male counterparts. That had to be it. He just couldn't tell because of the dark.

"Doc?" he whispered once the men were gone and the elevator doors closed. No sound came from the cage next to him, the occupants still mercifully unconscious. "Doc?" he tried again, but got nothing in return except for an annoyed grunt from Dugan, who kicked his leg to get him to shut up. He almost let his anger get the best of him, but the hangar was as quiet as it ever got, and he didn't want to risk riling up the men who weren't handling things as well as the ones in his cage. For now, he had to keep himself together for the good of everyone, when all he wanted to do was yell and scream until someone woke up and could tell him if his girl was still alive, and if she was okay. Fuck.

He got no answer until the lights came back on, and he realized that Lu wasn't there.

Morita had the same epiphany a moment after him, and the foresight enough to basically tackle him down before he could raise a real ruckus. "She's gonna be okay, Buck." he said, his grip tight on him. "Don't lose your cool."

"She's not there, Jim." Bucky seethed, not sure if he was pissed or scared or neither or both. With the light, the men in the cage started to rouse. Close enough. "Wilson! Wilson, where's Doc?"

"Fuck, what? Where - what?" Wilson groaned, rolling over and covering his eyes.

"Doc! Where is she?" he asked again, gripping the bars and pressing his face between them, as if that would give him answers any faster.

"How the hell should I know?" he grimaced, pushing himself up to all fours. "I'm fine, by the way. Thanks for asking."

"Obviously, dipshit, you're here and talking." Bucky snapped back. "But if you notice, Doc is gone."

"Then she's probably dead. Just like Ramsey." Wilson said. Wrong answer.

"She is not dead!" he exclaimed, rattling the bars and managing to shake half the cage. Morita was pulling at him, trying to get him to let go and turn away. This was not going to be helpful. "She's not, she can't-"

"Bucky! Hey!" Morita finally pried him from his post, Dugan coming in with the assist. "Keep your head. You don't need to draw attention, and Wilson sure as shit can't help you, okay?"

"But he-"

"Yea, yea I know. But you gotta keep it together." Dugan said. Bucky stopped fighting, though he still wanted to scream and curse and pry the bars apart with his bare hands. But then he saw the men from the other cages looking, their eyes wide and scared and alternating between him and the elevator doors. As much as he hated to admit it, Dugan was right.

"She can't be dead." he said as convincingly as he could. He refused to believe it until he saw a body with his own eyes. And even then, he might still need further proof.

"Nah. She's probably just putting up a hell of a fight. Makes the return process slower." Morita said. Bucky knew it was bullshit, but it was bullshit he appreciated nonetheless. He nodded, taking a deep breath and settling back down onto the floor. There was nothing to do now but to have patience and hope - both of which were on short supply.

When the elevator arrived again the men all perked up. This was usually about the time the food cart came, which was a small cause for celebration in their current situation. But Bucky found himself hoping that it wasn't food time. When the doors opened, he let out a breath as he saw a cart with two bodies on it, one of which had long, blonde hair. She was still unconscious, and her skin was flushed. The area around her eyes seemed bruised, as if she hadn't slept the whole time she was gone. Even in sleep, her brows pinched together with pain. Next to her, Mullens didn't seem any better, and despite the situation the fact that he was so close to her made Bucky grind his teeth in annoyance.

"Did I look like that?" Bucky asked Morita, who'd joined him at the bars.

"Honestly, she seems to be hurting a little more." he replied. Bucky's heart sank into his shoes, then quickly shot back up as the men in hazmat suits got closer. She looked even worse than he thought, and anger boiled in him. His hand shot out of its own accord, grabbing the nearest man in a hazmat suit and pulling him back against the bars. In a second, he had his arm around his neck, choking him against the wall of the cage.

"What did you fuckers do to her?!" he yelled. He could hear the others around him getting agitated, and feel the hands pulling at him to let go. He wouldn't. Instead, he just switched to German. "What did you do?!"

"Stop!" the other man yelled back in German, brandishing the electric rod. Bucky couldn't care less; if the man shocked him, he would also shock his partner. Good luck explaining that one to the higher ups. But then he turned the power off, instead just using it as a baton to whack Bucky as hard as he could on the arm. Right where that old bullet wound apparently was still healing. Bucky let go immediately, surprised by the pain that went through him. The man saw his opportunity, turning the electricity back on and shoving it between the bars to hit him. The shock made his whole body seize up, and then sent him to the ground. He blacked out for just a second, but it was enough for the hazmats to shake it off, toss Lu and Mullens back into the cage, and take their leave.

When he finally came to, Morita was over him, looking rather unimpressed. "You're an idiot, you know that right?" he deadpanned, offering a hand to help him up. Bucky wasn't ready to be vertical quite yet, but he took the assistance anyways. He needed to check on Lu.

"Yea, I've been told." he said, pretending that he was holding onto the bars just because they were separating him from freedom, and not because the room was spinning so fast he thought he was back on the Cyclone at Coney Island. When his vision finally settled, he spotted Lu laying flat on her back, clutching her chest in her sleep. He could see the tell-tale signs of her waking up, but she was regaining consciousness so slowly. After four and a half lifetimes, she finally opened her eyes. The pain seemed to leave her for a second, allowing her to actually relax. Or maybe, she was just realizing that she was still alive. "Doc?" he called out gently, as if afraid to frighten her. She didn't turn to him, didn't move, didn't look anywhere besides the ceiling of their cage. She was so still he wondered if she'd woken up just to die. "Doc." he tried again, this time a little louder. She took in a sharp breath, as if she'd forgotten to breathe for the past few minutes, then let it out slowly.

"Fuck." she said, and he felt like the whole world had finally toppled off his shoulders. She was alive, and she was okay. Well, as okay as she could be.

"You alive?" he asked. It was quickly becoming part of their normal conversation.

"Yea, Barnes. I'm alive." she said, now a little more strained since she was a little more conscious. "You made this shit look a little easier than it was."

His blood went cold. "They gave you the yellow stuff?" he asked. He could still feel the effects of it in the mornings, waking up with pain ravaging his body after the nightmare of it gripped him. It wasn't a pain he'd wish on his worst enemy, but now his love had to deal with it.

"Yea. Becker said he wanted to use the injection to kill me cause I was so annoying to him." she said, letting out a little laugh that turned into a cough. She rolled over onto her side, finally facing him. She looked tired. "I think I'm surviving on spite alone."

"Sounds like you." Bucky agreed, kneeling down to be on eye level with her. His throat felt tight, seeing her in the pain like this and knowing that really, she was supposed to be dead. Hell, that injection made him wish he was, and living through it didn't seem like much of a win. But if they could survive that, maybe they could survive long enough to make it through this. "Bet he's gonna be even more annoyed now."

She smiled, and for a split second she didn't seem like she had one foot in the grave. He reached his hand between the bars, resting it on the floor between them. She reached out too, though she could barely clear the edge of the cage from where she laid. That was just going to have to be close enough for now.

"I feel like shit too, in case anyone was curious." Mullens said from where he was laying behind Lu. Bucky rolled his eyes, but was saved from snapping at the man by Dugan.

"Shut up, Mullens." he said, glaring in the man's direction. "Just once, try not to be too much of an asshole."

"Speak for yourself, Dum-Dum." Mullens bit back, slowly rolling over and getting onto one knee. "You dicks clearly didn't have to deal with the same shit we did, so don't tell me to shut up."

Dugan bristled at the nickname, once again standing tall and puffing his chest like a threatened animal. He brandished a finger at Mullens, the only weapon he had right now. "You just wait till I get out of here. I'ma take out the Nazis, and then you."

"Yea, yea, get in line." he said through gritted teeth. He spotted Lu then, curled up on the floor of the cage. "They get you too, Doc?"

"Don't call her that." Bucky said sharply. He could forgive the men in his cage for it, but Mullens was not allowed. Mullens just glared at him before turning back to her.

"Doc, you okay?" he asked in as smooth a voice as he could manage. It made Bucky's skin crawl.

"Don't call me that." she said. She still laid on her side, keeping her eyes on Bucky. He could see the muscles in her jaw clenching, and her limbs shaking ever so slightly. She was in incredible pain, and there was nothing that he could do about it.

The elevator landed again, making all of them jump. This time Bucky hoped that it was food, though a sinking feeling in his stomach told him otherwise. Sure enough, there was no cart with the hazmats. Instead, they carried long chains with manacles, and behind them strolled Dr. Becker. There was a glint in his eye that made Bucky freeze for a moment, though really he was just trying to decide how exactly he was going to try and kill him. The hazmats went to Lu's cage first, gesturing for the others to move over and for her and Mullens to come with them. Mullens, for all his bravado, went pale and silent as they opened the cage. He tried to back away as one of the hazmats came up to him, scrambling into the corner and flailing in an effort to fight them off. But he was still weak from the injection, and succumbed to them faster than he thought. Lu attempted to move away as well, but they easily slapped the cuffs on her, dragging her to her feet and out of the cage. The manacles were latched onto a thick chain, and for the time being they allowed Lu to collapse back to her knees. It made the chain pull awkwardly on Mullens' wrists, but he didn't complain. He looked like he was about to piss himself.

Bucky was ready when they moved to his cage. He knew what they wanted, and he knew where they were going to take him. He wanted them to come for him next - that would put him right in line behind Lu, close enough that he could almost watch out for her. He wasn't going to fool himself into thinking he could win a four-on-one fight with his hands cuffed, but that didn't mean he couldn't plan and imagine. He kept his eyes on Becker the whole time, thinking of all the ways that he could wipe that stupid self-satisfied smirk off his smarmy face. The hazmats pushed back the other men in the cage and put the cuffs on him - much different than the ones issued by the NYPD - before leading him out to the chain, the metal clasps clanking loudly as they settled into place. The hazmats moved on to the next cage, leaving one in charge at the front of the line, a strange looking gun cocked and ready.

Bucky meant to kneel and comfort Lu, or at least help her to her feet, but Dr. Becker began strolling towards them. Bucky was ready for the ridicule, or the threats. He was not ready for the man to instead go to Lu, putting his finger under her chin to lift her face. He smiled at her tenderly, though there was nothing but coldness in his eyes. She glared at him with all the hate she could muster.

"You are going to regret surviving, my dear." he said softly, as if murmuring a sweet nothing to her. The words sent a chill down both of their spines, and as he stepped away Bucky decided to take his chance. He took one lunging step, but his motion was stopped by the eerie sound of the gun charging up, and the force of Lu's hands on the chain.

"Don't, Barnes." she said. The barrel of the gun was trained on him, and Dr. Becker was just within reach - if only Lu would let go of his hand. "Don't. It's not worth it."

"Listen to the lady, Sergeant Barnes." Dr. Becker taunted. Bucky could hear more soldiers getting added to the chain behind him, but he only had eyes for the doctor. "She's smarter than she looks."

Bucky didn't have anything to say to him in English, German, Italian, or Pig Latin that wasn't a rude and scathing remark. He wanted to let all of them out, but that weird gun was still whining like a tea kettle about to blow, and Lu's hands were trembling on his. So he gripped her hand and held his tongue, hoping his hate was showing through in his eyes.

"Where are you taking us?" one of the soldiers behind him asked, his voice shaking as he asked it. Bucky knew he should be scared, but he was too angry at that moment to entertain any other emotions. The doctor smiled, though there was no kindness behind the gesture.

"You all are special. As such, you get new living quarters." he said. That was the only information he offered, and there was some murmur about where these 'quarters' possibly were - could be a laboratory, or a death ditch, or actual living quarters. The last manacles clicked into place, and Dr. Becker signalled for the hazmats to take them to this new place. Bucky helped Lu to her feet, keeping a hand on her back so she knew he was there. They led them out of the hangar, down a long flight of stairs into another level of basement. It felt so deep that even God couldn't hear them from down here. The hazmats kept their guns on them, while Dr. Becker unlocked and opened a door with a flourish, welcoming them to their new home.

Turns out, the new quarters were just another cage.


Ooooooh man! Scary things happening! I mean we know they live, but does that actually make it any better?

I hope you guys like this chapter! I honestly thrive on y'all's feedback, so thank you thank you thank you for the reviews! Please don't hesitate to let me know your thoughts!

And in this crazy turmoil of a time, I hope everyone is staying safe and staying smart! It sucks being quarantined but that's the best way to weather through this. Love you all!

-XM