Hi everyone,
Glad to be sharing this chapter with you. Lauren has brought out some strong feelings in some readers. I'm glad you care so much about the characters. I try to make all the characters realistic, and that means they are not perfect. They make mistakes, have fears and anxieties - like all of us.
Enjoy, and I hope to hear from more of you!
Edith
Elrond had once again only finished reading the first of many reports on Rivendell's state affairs when the door to the library creaked opened. This time, it was his youngest daughter. He slowly lowered the already forgotten paper and watched Lauren intently. The princess stepped gingerly into the cavernous hall, surrounded by floor to ceiling shelves of books and texts. She silently took stock of the millenia of elven history bound in the room before her eyes finally found the majestic stained glass domed ceiling. Intrigued by the masterpiece of elven art, she stepped towards the center of the room so that she could admire it from directly below. Elrond quietly rose from his seat and walked towards her.
"Beautiful isn't it?" he started the conversation.
"Yes, so much history shown" Lauren mused, as she stared at the battles and coronations depicted in the glass art.
"Your history Lauren. Your people, my love" Elrond gently reminded her. At this, Lauren turned around to face her father. She had come to see him about more recent history.
"You said, before, that my mother's portrait was in the library" she said uncertainly. Elrond understood immediately that she had come to find out more about her mother.
"Yes, over here in this alcove" he said as he led her towards one end of the hall. The portrait came into view behind a column.
Lauren took a sharp breath in as she beheld the woman who had given birth to her. The painting was large and like all elven art, beautifully rendered. Celebrian, Princess of Lothlorien and Lady of Rivendell stood smiling in a relaxed pose framed by her mother's rose garden. Her hair, identical to Lauren's light blond, glistened as it trailed loosely over her shoulders. Bright blue eyes, the same as Lauren's, twinkled from the canvas. If lady Galadriel's beauty was renowned, Celebrian's was legendary. The likeness to her mother was instantaneously recognizable. Lauren delighted that she alone, of all her children, had her mother's fair coloring and resemblance. Elrond had dark brown hair, echoed in the features of his sons and eldest daughter.
"She loved you very much, Lauren" Elrond began. When Lauren stayed silent, he added "you were a blessing, to both of us."
"What was she like?" Lauren asked.
"Kind, warm, but also funny and slightly stubborn. You remind me greatly of her" Elrond answered truthfully. His heart warmed. For years, he had thought of Celebrian with grief and sorrow`. This was the first time he reminisced happily about his wife.
"Did you try to keep me?" It was a question already answered in many other ways, Lauren knew. But the insecure girl in her needed to hear it from the elf who gave her up.
Elrond did not miss a beat. "I would've given anything to save you Lauren. But you were so small and so weak after your naneth died. I had no choice. If I could've given my life for yours, I would have – without hesitation. Handing you to someone else, I almost couldn't do it. But I knew that to save you, I had to let you go. I never abandoned you. I have held you in my heart everyday" he said earnestly. It was what Lauren wanted, needed to hear, to start healing. To trust her father. To begin to love him.
"I'd like to see her grave, she's buried here isn't she?" Lauren inquired.
Elrond swallowed hard. He had not been to Celebrian's grave for years. He had not been able to bear it, such an obvious reminder of his loss. But his daughter deserved to see it, and it was his duty to take her there. Slowly, he reached for her hand. She did not shirk away from him this time. They walked outside, into a private corner of Galadriel's rose garden. There, stood a marble statue of Celebrian, surrounded by a small fountain. Lauren plucked a pink rose from a nearby bush and placed it at the foot of the statue. Elrond stood back, giving her a moment to herself.
Lauren let go. She let go of grief she scarcely knew she had. And she cried. She wept for the mother she would never know, taken from her, a single act that changed her life forever. She also grieved for the mother who raised her, deeply missed, whose passing left an irreparable wound. Elizabeth would be glad that Lauren was finally facing her deepest fears. Her mother was always incredibly perceptive; as if Elizabeth knew her daughter at times felt unworthy, she showered Lauren with affection. It made her loss even more devastating to the young girl. Elizabeth's greatest wish for her daughter had not been career success, though it would have pleased her. It was that Lauren accept that she was good enough, loved herself and embraced her flaws. In the rose garden, Lauren finally took a step in the right direction.
Elrond placed a gentle hand on Lauren's back. He was surprised when his youngest child whirled around and buried herself in his chest. Instinctively, he closed his arms around her. And they stood there, rocking gently back and forth until Lauren's sobs turned into soft hiccups.
"Ada, it's not fair" Lauren finally said.
"No, it is not. But we cannot change the past. We must go forward" was all he could say. Elrond could barely contain himself. He had long put aside hope he would ever hear his child call him Ada. He punished himself by telling himself he didn't deserve it. Now, Lauren was opening a door to a second chance. An opportunity to be her father, something he thought he had lost a long time ago. He resolved to grasp it and never let it go, no matter the cost. When he felt she was ready, Elrond let go of Lauren. With his handkerchief, he dabbed the tears from her cheeks and placed a soft kiss on her forehead.
"Come, I have something to show you" he led Lauren to the treasury.
Lauren understood why they were there when Elrond ordered the sentry to retrieve Lady Celebrian's jewels. A large chest was brought out. Elrond opened the container and Lauren curiously peaked in. At the center, lay a glittering crown, framed by saphires and diamonds. Beside it, lay a necklace. The design was simple, yet elegant. The workmanship was impeccable. It was a plain chain with a teardrop diamond of the highest quality. Carefully, Elrond lifted the necklace out of the chest.
"Your mother was gifted this necklace by her father, on the occasion of her coming of age. It was one of her favorites. I think she'd be very happy for you to have this" Elrond said.
Lauren smiled. She'd have something that belonged to her mother. "Thank you, Ada."
Elrond wordlessly placed the necklace in its box and handed it to his daughter. They looked at each other, a new understanding between them. A new contract, to try their best towards a relationship.
"It has been quite the day. I will leave you now, can you find your way back to your flet?" Elrond excused.
"Yes, I'll be fine" Lauren reassured. Elrond left and headed back to the library. Lauren lingered for a short while after. She peaked again into the chest, and beheld the crown, the most beautiful she had ever seen. It held Lauren's attention and brought the reality of her royal lineage to the forefront. Reluctantly, she called the sentries to return the chest, now liberated of the necklace. She headed straight for the flet and tucked the jewellery box containing the necklace into her hiking backpack for safekeeping.
Lauren settled into middle earth after that. She did her best to bury the insecurity of her past and was able to be in the present, enjoy her new found home. The next day, she set out to right another wrong, this one of her own doing. The Galadhrim training grounds were largely empty, the day being a rest day for the troops. Lauren found Haldir alone, at the archery grounds, doing target practice. Lauren couldn't help but note Haldir's devotion to his soldiers. To lead them, he needed to be the hardest working of them all.
"Practicing for our next competition?" Lauren approached the marchwarden. He had heard her coming, but continued to shoot arrows.
"My responsibility is the protection of the realm, the wellbeing of all of its inhabitants" Haldir responded coldly, without taking his eyes off the target.
"You take your job very seriously" Lauren commented, as she stood beside him.
"It is a duty, to my people. My father held this post before me, and he gave his life to that duty. It might not make me fun. But elflings and their parents sleep at night knowing we are here, and no harm will come of them as long as I still draw breath" Haldir said with conviction.
"I-I did not mean-" Lauren began. He was clearly referencing their last conversation. She cleared her throat. "I'm sorry, I was harsh with you before" she finally said apologetically.
Haldir sighed. "The sacrifice, I do it willingly."
"I'm told there is a charming creek on the western side of the woods. I was planning to hike there and picnic. Maybe you can take a break?" Lauren asked. She held up a picnic basket she had packed with lunch for two. It was a peace offering. Haldir accepted with a nod and began to pack the arrows away.
Their hike to the creek was mostly silent. Haldir led the way; when Lauren asked if he knew where he was going, his reaction was a nod. Soon, Lauren stopped noticing the lack of words as the breathtaking majesty of the landscape consumed her attention. The creek was every bit as charming as Lauren had imagined. A small flow of water, pristinely clear, over a bed of rocks surrounded by delicate grass and flowers. Haldir wordlessly unpacked the picnic and laid a blanket on the grass. They began to eat in silence. Lauren decided not to try to push him into conversation.
After a few bites, Haldir started the conversation. "I notice you like to jog."
Lauren, who had resigned herself to the silent treatment for the entire trip, smiled brightly at this positive overture. "Yes, I've been doing it since I was very young. It helps with my stress."
The concept of stress seemed foreign to the marchwarden. "Stress?"
"My job, it can be quite adversarial" was Lauren's understatement about the battles fought by trial lawyers on a near daily basis in the courtroom.
"What is your job?" Haldir inquired. From what he had heard from George, their society was in many ways similar yet profoundly different from middle earth. Their world seemed so, unequal. That wealth, appearance may play such a pivotal role in one's destiny was a concept foreign to elves. Haldir was glad though, in her world, Lauren had found safety and happiness.
Lauren groaned. Most lawyers disliked talked about their work. To explain what her job was to Haldir, she had to provide the necessary context. It took quite a while. When she was finished, she heaved a large breath and stated "and that in a nutshell is what I do."
"And your adoptive father and brother? What do they do?" Haldir asked.
Lauren groaned, even louder, bringing a smirk from Haldir. "You really want to know? It's very boring" she warned.
"Yes I want to know, I can handle it, apparently I am rather boring also" Haldir jabbed.
Lauren acquiesced. She launched into another explanation about her David and Robert's roles in the family empire. "My turn to ask questions Haldir" she declared when she was finished.
Haldir gave her an approving look. "Ask away"
"Anything?" Lauren sought permission.
"Anything."
"Your duty, it's such a responsibility. Does it not weigh you down?" Lauren asked curiously. She frequently found the responsibility to advocate for her clients crushing. She had many discussions with her cousin Juliette about it. Juliette could relate, as a trauma surgeon, life was literally in her hands.
"It is great responsibility, but also a great honor. As an elfling, I saw my father shoulder the same burden, he was proud every day of his work. Soldiering is not glamourous, nor is it easy, especially on the family. My mother, she bore it well though it was difficult for her at times, to rear three elflings alone." Haldir replied thoughtfully.
"Children are big burdens" Lauren commented.
"No, they are blessings. Every elfling is treasured not just by their parents, but by all elves." Haldir corrected.
"Well, on Earth they are quite a lot of work. I'm glad I don't have any." Lauren said lightly.
Haldir frowned. "I feel yearning when I see Orophin with his elflings, for a wife and family of my own" he confessed, shocking himself in process. He did not discuss his feelings freely. To have let slip such a personal thought was unheard of for the soldier.
Haldir's confession also surprised Lauren. She had never maternal, preferring to focus on her job and her hobbies. It was rather self centered, she realized. She had always thought Haldir was a perfect fit for his job: disciplined, dutiful, rational. It was unexpected to see this softer side of him.
"Well, why don't you have a wife? I'm sure there are many women who would glady have you" Lauren smirked. The way the marchwarden was revered by many females had not gone unnoticed.
"Elves only bind to one, for all eternity. I suppose the time is not right yet" came the vague answer.
