Danny's house was practically turned upside down. Not only was he late for work, sleep-deprived, and in dire need of his wife's "comfort", he couldn't find his handcuffs. Which he really needed, otherwise he couldn't cuff the bad guys. Turning over couch cushions, he called to his sons, "have you seen my handcuffs?"
Jack, without looking up from his video game, responded, completely deadpan, "did you look on Mom's wrists?"
Danny stopped for a minute, "ha ha. Very funny." Damn! How the hell does a twelve year old know about that?! Guess we're not as quiet as we thought.
At that moment, Linda came back from a double shift. "What the hell happened?!" She gaped at the living room in shambles.
"They're not on Mom!" Sean called out, not sure why the cuffs would be on Mom in the first place.
"What's not on Mom? Where's your Dad? Why's he here anyways? Shouldn't he be at work?"
"Linda!" Danny came in from the kitchen. "Have you seen my handcuffs?"
"Not since yesterday. Check the bedroom." Linda looked to her kids when they snickered. "Why they laughing?"
"C'mere," he gently pulled Linda into the kitchen, "I don't know how, but Jack knows about the... alternative use for the cuffs."
"Alternative use? Danny, what the hell are-" Linda's face filled with disgust, "oh! You mean—? Jack-?" She pointed in the direction of her son, then whispered, "he knows we use 'em for sex?!"
Danny exaggerated a shrug, "apparently!"
"How?"
"I don't know! Just help me look. I'm already late."
Linda nodded, "I'll check the bedroom."
Danny sighed, knowing they weren't in there, "Linda."
"Just lemme check, okay?" She took the steps two at a time, and walked into their bedroom. After a thorough check, she came back down. "I didn't find 'em. Maybe you left 'em at the precinct?"
"S'possible." He looked down when his phone rang, "Jackie." Danny answered, "Yeah, Jack, I know. I'm running late... I can't find my cuffs!... what?... okay, I'll be there soon." He hung up, "they're lying on my desk."
"Toldja."
"Here's another question. "How the hell does Jack know?"
Linda shrugged.
"You ask him."
"What? We both ask him, Alright?"
"Alright."
"Jack? Honey?" Linda smiled at her son, sitting next to him, "how do you know about... the usage of handcuffs... during... during sex?"
"Huh?" he put his video game down.
"You told me to check mom's wrists for the cuffs," Danny wondered why his son didn't remember this conversation.
"That? I was just kiddin'. What the hell do you use handcuffs in sex for?"
Linda gave Danny an evil look, her hand on her thigh.
"And that's my cue to go. See ya." Danny left, leaving Linda to answer the questions.
"Mom?"
"Uh..."
A/n
At first, I was just gonna Have Danny find the cuffs and leave, letting Linda deal with the questions. But the idea of Jack having no idea in the world about his parents' sexcapades was even more hilarious. So there you go
