Thank you so so much for the reviews and support! It really means a lot to me and I'm glad to see some of you are enjoying my writing. This chapter will be quite sentimental.
As soon as I had revealed my knowledge about who was sending the pictures and videos, Dimitri had gotten me to report everything to Abe. He didn't know who Eric was—the asshole who had sent me the pictures—but he had already made countless phone calls to his people. At this point, he wasn't just working with the royal court. He took matters into his own hands when he needed to. That was probably where I got most of my impulsivity from.
Unfortunately, Dr. Olendzki wasn't allowing me to leave. Technically, neither were any of the adults in the room. I had spent more time in the hospital this year than any other year of my life, but I had never been in here for causing harm to myself. I now understood why Lissa felt the way she did when she had been in here for the same reason. When I found her in the bathroom the same way she had found me, I had pretty much put her in this room and she had resented me for it at the time. I didn't resent her for doing this, and I knew she just wanted to help me, but being in here almost made me feel like a patient in an insane asylum.
Unfortunately, having Dimitri and Alberta in the room didn't save me from the ugly conversation with my parents. Abe was usually good at keeping his emotions in check, but right now, he actually looked worried. My mother didn't even try to hide her anger.
"Guardian Belikov, Guardian Petrov. I appreciate you looking out for my daughter, but I'd like to have a word with her alone," she said, crossing her arms. She nodded at Abe. "You too."
"We'll be outside," Dimitri informed her. He shot me a sympathetic look as he left the room, followed by Alberta and Abe. As soon as the door closed, Janine's rant started.
"Why the hell is this the first time I'm hearing about this? I am your mother and you didn't even think it was worth me knowing?"
"Mom—"
"I had every right to know and you kept this from me like I was a stranger to you!"
I shot up from the bed as my anger started to rise. A fight between us two was never pretty.
"Don't you dare turn this on me. I've spent almost my entire life without you. You were never there for me when I needed a mother! And then as soon as I grow up, you expect me to be some tough warrior who pushes her feelings away just to put on a brave face for everyone else! You expect me to push through everything like I'm made of steel, but guess what? Maybe I'm not made of steel. Maybe I'm not as invincible as you want me to be. Maybe I'm not as fearless as everyone thinks I am."
"Rose..."
I ignored her and continued to shout. I needed to get it out, and she needed to hear it no matter how painful it was. "Half of me is still human! You know what that means? It means I can still feel all the pain and torment that I was put through when I was gone. Unlike strigoi who don't feel these things, I don't have a way out. It doesn't matter how strong I am or how much I try to push through the pain. It'll never be enough!"
For the first time ever, my mother was speechless. The anger from earlier was wiped from her face as she watched me fall apart in front of her.
"I wanted to be strong for you," I cried. "I tried so hard. You have no idea how long I've held in my tears, how long I hid from everyone." There were tears coming down my cheeks, but it wasn't because I was upset. These were tears of anger.
"You've been a guardian for half your life," I continued. "You're destined to kill strigoi, yet here I am, standing right in front of you. It doesn't matter if I'm your daughter. You'll never look at me the same way." That comment seemed to sting her a little bit, but I didn't know what else to say to her. At this point, I was just being brutally honest.
"I think I need some air," I told her, heading for the door. I opened it hastily and charged down the hallway, ignoring the stares I received from other people in the hallway. Dimitri and Alberta noticed me right away.
"Rose!" Alberta yelled. I heard Dimitri pull her back, whispering something calmly.
"Wait, wait. I'll talk to her. Just give her some space."
Dimitri knew me all too well. He knew when I was unhappy, but he also knew when to give me personal space. Right now, I needed that. There was only one place where I could feel truly at peace even in times like this, so I took off and headed to the chapel attic.
I sat in a corner by myself, looking through some of the old books that had been buried in a messy pile. I didn't actually read anything since this book was written in a different language, so instead, I flipped through the pages and looked at the old images. It actually calmed me down, and all the anger I felt before started to vanish.
After about half an hour, I heard footsteps come up the stairs to the attic. I looked up, thinking it was the priest or someone who would potentially kick me out. Instead, I saw Dimitri. I smiled up at him.
"Hey," I said, moving over and patting the spot beside me.
Dimitri took his place next to me on the floor. "I'm not sure whether I should feel concerned or intrigued that you're reading a book."
"I'm not actually reading," I clarified. "I'm just looking at the pictures. It's not even in English."
"That makes more sense. For you at least," he teased. I nudged him in the arm with my elbow and closed the book, setting it down beside me.
"Alright, bookworm. I know you didn't just come up here to say hi."
Dimitri sighed. "No, I didn't. I came here to make sure you were okay."
"Honestly, I don't even know how to respond to that anymore. I mean, I'm feeling okay now, but...before, I kind of lost it."
"I know. I heard everything you said to your mom."
I frowned. "I probably sounded like a weak little brat."
"No," Dimitri said. "You didn't. You were getting things off your chest."
"I guess...but I don't know if my mom will ever understand. She's always wanted me to be as tough as her, and I failed."
"Roza, look at me," Dimitri ordered softly. I looked up at him, and although the room was dark, I could still see the sympathy and care for me in his eyes. "Don't say that about yourself. You're most definitely not a failure. You've just been through a lot. I get that you might feel obligated to pull everything off easily, but I can see that it's hurting you. There's only so much a person can handle before they break."
This was another reason why I loved Dimitri so much. He saw me—like, really saw me. Even when I refused to admit how I really felt, he just knew. He knew and understood that I had a weak side. He wanted me to open up, to be vulnerable with him instead of hiding my weaknesses. Surely, he had a weak side to him too despite never showing it to other people. He wasn't perfect, and that was okay.
"Do you sometimes feel like that too?" I asked him.
Dimitri's eyebrows came together. "What do you mean?"
"Like you constantly have to put on a brave face for other people. I mean, a lot of people look up to you, but does it ever make you feel drained?"
"Sometimes, yes," he admitted. "Sometimes, I just want to give myself a few minutes to breathe and to remind myself I'm still human. People think I'm a god and all that, but I'm just as normal as anyone else. I wouldn't give up being a guardian, but it can definitely be exhausting."
"I get what you mean," I told him. "I mean, I'm not a guardian, but I understand how you feel." I rested my head on his shoulder and slipped my hand into his.
"Dimitri?"
"Yes?"
"I've probably said this to you before, but you know I'm always here for you, right? You're always here to help me with everything, but I want you to know I'd do the same for you. Whatever you need, I'm always here." Dimitri was one of the most selfless people I knew. He took good care of himself, but he also spent a lot of his time putting other people's needs ahead of his own.
"Thank you," he said softly, stroking my hand with his thumb. "It's not very often that I hear things like that, but I can appreciate it."
"Well, it makes me feel a lot better. I just want you to be happy."
"You make me very happy, Roza. But do you know what'll make me even happier?"
"What?"
Dimitri poked my stomach with his other hand. It both surprised and tickled me. "For you to look after your health and start eating again."
I pressed a hand against my empty stomach, sagging against the wall. My health really was deteriorating. Sometimes, it was just difficult to jump back up.
"Hey," Dimitri said, grabbing my attention again. "I know it's hard for you, but you don't have to face this alone. We can work together, okay?"
Instead of arguing, I smiled up at him as some of the weight started to lift off my chest. "Okay."
"Good girl," he whispered, kissing my hair. The smile on my face grew. For some reason, I loved it when he called me that. I wasn't sure why, but it oddly made me feel cherished and loved.
Dimitri leaned down, closing the distance between our faces. As soon as our lips touched, his phone rang. Of course it had to be now, I thought.
"Belikov," he said gruffly. After just a few words on the other end, Dimitri's eyes widened. "What? How is that even possible?"
Now, I was curious. I sat up, straightening myself as I tried to pick up on his conversation. It was hard to make out the speech even with my enhanced hearing, but perhaps I just wasn't trying hard enough. All I knew was that the person on the other end was my father.
"I'm not sure that's a good idea. She's already got enough on her plate," he said doubtfully, looking at me. After a few more words were said on the other end, he slammed his palm against his face and rubbed his eyes. "Alright, fine. I'll let her know. We'll be down in a few minutes." He hung up, slipping his phone back into his pocket.
"What's wrong?" I asked him as we stood up. I could tell he was hesitant to tell me at first, but I wanted to know. "Dimitri, please. Tell me what's going on."
"Sebastian," he confessed. My eyes instantly darkened at the name. "He escaped a bus that was sending him to Tarasov prison."
Dimitri and I met up with Abe in the guardian's conference room. My mind had been spiraling since he had delivered the news. I had no idea how it was even possible for such a thing to happen, but I intended on finding out.
"Where is he?" I demanded as soon as I burst through the door. Abe turned around to face me.
"We're not sure yet. This just happened very recently. Apparently, the bus just so happened to 'break down' on the way."
I laughed. "It would've been even more believable if they'd just said the bus ran out of gas."
"Rose," Dimitri and Abe both said.
"What? You don't seriously believe the bus so mysteriously broke down, do you?"
"Of course not," Abe said. "Obviously, this was a planned escape. Most of the prisoners didn't seem to know about it. Even then, some of them fled the area, but the ones that were injured stayed behind."
"How many?" Dimitri asked.
"About eight of them were seen. Two prisoners are dead, but the other six are just injured. One of them was a human."
My head shot up. "What?" Did that mean Damian was on the bus too?
"The only human prisoner on the bus, it seems. He's badly injured, but he had ties to Sebastian. Unfortunately, since he's human, it doesn't seem like he'll be healing anytime soon, but they'll be questioning him once he recovers."
"Was his name Damian by any chance?" I asked before I could stop myself.
Abe's eyes twitched. "You know him?"
"Do I know him?" I laughed again. "He's the one Sebastian was using as a puppet, but he stopped following him since trying to help me escape."
"Interesting. And how do you know he wasn't in on this as well?" Abe asked, crossing his arms.
"If he was in on this, he would have escaped with the other prisoners, injured or not. Plus, if he was still working for Sebastian, he wouldn't have helped me."
Abe and Dimitri seemed doubtful, and perhaps I couldn't blame them. No matter the situation now, Damian had still been a part of everything that had happened to me.
"He's not someone you should trust, Rose. None of them are," Abe said.
"I never said I trusted him. I just think he might be of use. He said it himself that he has nothing to lose since he's sentenced to life in prison."
"What are you trying to tell us, Rose?" Dimitri asked.
"I'm saying that if he has information, or if he witnessed anything from Sebastian's escape, he can help us track him down."
"There's no us in this," Abe objected. "You don't need to get involved. We're taking care of this."
"Yeah? And how's that working out for you?" I challenged. If there was anyone in this world who could get away with talking like this to Abe without getting their head ripped off, it was me.
Abe pressed his lips together, barely hiding his annoyance. "We're working on it. Like I said before, this just happened very recently. And by recently, I mean less than an hour ago."
Our conversation was cut short when my phone rang. I pulled it out, assuming it was one of my friends, but was surprised to see one of the academy's numbers.
I turned away, pressing the phone to my ear. "Hello?"
The person on the other end had a female voice. "Hi, is this Rose Hathaway?"
"Yes," I answered.
"Oh, great. I'm Mrs. Morris, one of the elementary campus teachers. Nevaeh's one of my students, and it's written in her file that you're her emergency contact person."
"Um, yes, yes I am. Is she okay?" I asked.
"That's actually why I called you. She wasn't in class today. We thought she was sick, but none of the guardians or teachers called in for her. Her room door is locked as well, which I thought was a little strange. Do you happen to know where she is?"
What the hell? Dorm rooms were never locked for children of her age. I didn't even think she knew how to lock a door. She didn't even have a key.
"Are you sure?" I asked her. "There's no way she could have locked her door."
"Yes, I'm sure. We've checked. I was hoping she might have been with you or out on the playground, but she's not. Could you report back to us if you happen to see her?"
"Of course. Thanks for letting me know." I hung up, turning to face the two men who had been watching me attentively.
"I think Nevaeh's missing," I blurted out. Dimitri's expression changed, and suddenly, he was just as worried as me.
"What do you mean she's missing?" he asked.
"Her teacher just called me. She wasn't in class today, and her dorm room was locked. She hasn't been seen anywhere else."
"I didn't think they allowed children to lock their door," Abe said.
"They don't," I muttered. "I'm going to go look for her—whether you two want to help or not."
So far, Nevaeh was nowhere to be found. I looked everywhere. The academy was huge, and it had taken me at least an hour to go through every hallway and classroom. I even asked some people if they had seen her, but had no luck. She wasn't on any of the other areas of the campus, and after checking the entire elementary campus, I talked to one of the female secretaries at the main office.
"Are you sure they didn't just go on a field trip or something?"
"Ms. Hathaway, we don't allow field trips at night, and we haven't had any scheduled recently. No students from the elementary building have left campus."
"There has to be something! She couldn't have just disappeared!" I didn't mean to sound so rude, but I was really beginning to worry. Nevaeh was so young. The thought of her being alone somewhere was starting to bother me.
"We already have guardians searching the academy—"
"What about her room?" I interrupted. "Her teacher said her room was locked. Did nobody here think it might have been a good idea to check?"
"There was no answer on the other side of the door," the secretary said.
"She's four years old! Don't you have files explaining her past situation? She has issues with people she's not familiar with!"
"Alright, alright! I'll give you the keys." The secretary pulled a set of keys out from her desk and handed them to me. "She's in room 209."
I grabbed the set of keys, not even bothering to say thank you. I was so focussed on finding this little girl that it became the only thing I could think of. I went up to the second floor, checking all the room numbers until I reached room 209. One of the hall matrons gave me an odd look as I fumbled for the right key. He was a guardian and had been standing there on duty, but he didn't try to stop me. "Ms. Hathaway, what are you doing here?"
"I'm looking for the girl that lives in here." It took me a while to find the right key, but I finally found the one with the same number and twisted the key until the door was unlocked. The guard approached, but he seemed more curious than anything else. He had probably been notified as well.
"Nevaeh?" I called. There was no answer on the other side, so I decided to walk in. I called her name again, only to be met by silence. I checked every inch of the room before finally coming to the conclusion that she wasn't in here. Nevaeh was gone.
What did you think of this one? I thought it was important for Rose to open up a little more to her mom about how she was truly feeling inside (even though it came out in a rant). Please, please review! It's highly appreciated :)
